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tumorous Jjrpnrtmrnt Misunderstood Directions.?Sir William Osier, the famous English doctor, who has just gone to the front with the McGlll university base hospital, has been making a strong appeal to soldiers to allow themselves to be inoculated against typhoid fever. It will be remembered that some time ago, Sir William caused a great deal of talk by suggesting that the average man was too old at 40. Sir William tells the following amusing story to prove the importance of medical men being very explicit in their directions to their patients: A young foreigner who consulted a doctor about his health was advised by the medico "to drink hot water an hour before breakfast every morning." The paitent went away promising to ao as ne was tu.u. out u later he returned and complained that he felt much worse. "That's curious." said the doctor; -did you do as I told you and drink that water an hour before breakfast every morning?" .... I I did my best, sir." was the reply. "but I couldn't keep it up for more than ten minutes at a time! ear I son's. The Vulnerable Point.-A religious worker was visiting a southern penitentiary. when one prisoner in some way took his fancy, says the Pathfinder. This prisoner was a negro who evinced a religious fervor as deep as it was gratifying to the caller. "Of what are you accused. I prisoner was asked. Dey says I took a watch." ansJer" ed the negro. "I made a good fight. I had a dandy lawyer, an' he done prove an alibi wif ten witnesses. Den my lawyer he shore made a strong speech to de jury. But it wa'n't no use. sah; I gets ten years. "I don't see why you were not acquitted." said the religious worker. "Well, sah," explained the prisoner,! "dare was shore one weak spot 'bout my defense?dey found de watch in I pocket." Self-Confessed.?"And now, chil dren, said the pastor, "let us all^repeat the Beattitudes?the 'Blessed I you know them. Now. all together?I Blessed are the ' The Sunday school responded in I that monotone usual in such performances in unison, according to the New York Evening Post. I "Very good," commended the pastor. "And now. tell me. who said those beautiful words?" i No response. Pause. "Can no little boy or little girl tell me who said those beautiful words. Anyone?" I One little head waving in the rear. "Ah, Willie, I'm glad to see yourl hand up. Tell me. who said those beautiful words?" j "I did, sir." The Status of the Jury-"Gentle men of the jury, are you agreed upon your verdict?" asked the judge, pre-1 siding over a Texas couri "We are," responded the foreman. I "Do you find the prisoner guilty or I not guilty?" I "We do." I "You do? Do what?" exclaimed the startled Judge. "We find the prisoner guilty or not I guilty," answered the foreman. I "But, gentlemen, ybu cannot return I a verdict like that." "Wal. I don't know." the foreman I responded. "You see, six of us find him guilty, and six of us find him not I guilty, and we've agreed to let it go at I that."?Uplift Magazine. j Tips and Tips.?An American spending his vacation in Scotland, had anl opportunity to play golf every day on a world-famous links, says the Youth's Companion. Moreover, he had I assigned to him an exceptionally fine caddie, who had frequently carried the bags of the best golfers In I Scotland. "Donald, my man. I expect to ^ get j some good tips rrom you wnue t am here," said the American, while making the first round of ?he course. "And I expect," returned the thrifty Donald, "the like frae you." His Business Helped.?"If any man here," shouted the temperance speaker, "can name an honest business that has been helped by the saloon, I will spend the rest of my life working for the liquor people." A man in the audience arose. "I consider my business an honest one," he said, "and it has been helped by the saloon." "What is your business?" yelled the orator. "I, sir," responded the man, "am an undertaker."?Kansas City Star. It Didn't Matter,?A small boy went up to another In the street and said: "Can you tell a feller how to learn a girl to swim?" "Oh," said the other kiddie, "you goes up to her gentle like, leads her gently down to the water, puts yer arm gently round her waist?" "Oh, go on!" interrupted the boy; "what's the matter with yer? She's my sister." "Yer sister? Oh, shove her in!" A Humor of War.?E. Harper, second officer of the torpedoed British ship Harpalion, tells this story of the tragedy to the London Times: "We had just sat down to tea," said Mr. Harper, "at the engineer's table, and the chief engineer was saying grace. He had just uttered the words 'For what we are about to receive. may the Lord make us truly thankful,' when there came an awful crash. The torpedo had struck us." Selfish as a Government.?"The naive, frank selfishness of warring nations?it makes me think of the beggar," said Andrew Carnegie, at a luncheon in New York. "A beggar, muscular and well-fed, asked a lady for a nickel. " 'I'm afraid you are not overfond of work,' the lady said. " 'No. ma'am, I ain't,' the beggar agreed. 'How could I be? Work's wot killed my wife.'" Sufficiently Punished.?"What is the charge against this man?" "Dressing up in woman's clothes, your honor." "Discharged! He's been punished enough."?Life. No Certain Name.?"Papa, what do you call a man who runs an automobile?" "It depends upon how near he comes hitting me." FACT, FASHION AND FANCY Paragraph* on Various Topics Calculated to Interest York County Women. Written for The YorkviUe Enquirer. Anna Warner says: "There are really only two classes, in the world? those who live for the senses and those who live for the soul. We must all work our slow way through both channels of learning. There are those who need to live and those who need to give. No one is perfect, but each can choose his class. Some who are very poor belong to the highest and some who are very rich to the lowest. We are all free agents." The writer chanced to hear two ladies talking the other day, and one v,oqM "Tt'o fnnnv hut thiq time of year, I always feel mean and cross and lazy and in fact, all out of sorts." To which the other replied, "Yes, when I And myself growing1 Impatient with my children, cranky to chickens and all out of sorts with my cow, I take a day off and go visiting." The lady's answer is a good rule to follow, provided the feeling of which the first complained, does not come too often. The new petticoats are many. Among them are princess slips of silk, batiste or crepe de chine, held over the shoulders with straps of ribbon and elaborately trimmed about the hem with wide flounces of lace, pleated organdie, chiffon or net and caught here and there with bouquets of delicately tinted French flowers. They measure from four to six yards about the hem and sometimes little pantalettes which were popular when grandmother was a child, and which are made of materials to match the petticoat, are worn beneath. Hundreds of York county housewives are now contemplating house cleaning. Why not resolve that you will not only clean the floors, walls, windows and furniture, beat the rugs and carpets, but that you will remove and destroy every lot of old paper, rags or any other accumulation of useless articles that may have been for years inviting some careless boy or man (they usually are the most careless ones) to throw a lighted match amongst it and which would result in the probable loss of home and the possible loss of life. * * There was a large hair dressing exhibit in one of the large fashion parlors in Philadelphia last week. Several of the Philadelphia papers carried pages of pictures of the new ways of wearing the hair. These pictures showed that the present style of wearing the hair skinned back from the ears and forehead and caught in a mop on the top of the head is a fashion of the past. There was never so hideous a fashion as the brief vogue for wearing the hair in this manner, which makes the bearers look like pealed onions. The new hair dressing styles are such that come tKn *An nf tho aoro hnt ohnw thp UVVm 111V lUp V4 W41V Wi Kf v w?>v .? " lower end of the ear and comes down almost to the eyebrows, and is piled up in the back half way up the head. Sunday, May 9, will be "Mother's Day" throughout the United States. In churches all over the land special services will be held in honor of mothers. The white carnation is the memory flower of mother's day because it grows everywhere and its whiteness symbolizes the purity of a mother's love, its endurance and fidelity. Miss Anna Jauris, who founded Mother's Day several years ago, has this to say of the annual celebration: "Through all ages and all centuries the world is indebted to motherhood, for mother love is as old as the world and as young as the youngest born. It is the greatest force for good on this earth. Even a bad father's influence is to discounted by a good mother's that nine times in ten, the children come out all right. And most people had good mothers?indeed, most of us had the best mother that ever lived! I contend that Mother's Day should be the greatest of all holidays, because you cannot perpetuate anything without mothers." O, the little old town that I left one day, Because it was quiet, still Has the name that it had when I went away, And stands on the same old hill; But the ones that were dear in the little old town, With its one wide street running up and down, Have ceased to sit on the porches where The roses were trained to climb; They have ceased to sew and to whittle there, As they did in the dear old time. The little old church with its wooden sheds, Stands as it stood of yore; But the ones who knelt and who bow ed their heads Are worshipping there no more! And the little old school where I carved my name On the home-made desk stands just the same? But the boys who are batting the ball today And the little maids, fair and free, Are not the children who used to play On the common there with me. The little old house so dear, so dear. Stands just where it used to stand; But not for many and many a year Has the latch obeyed her hand? The hand in which my hand was laid When my first few faltering steps were made? And in the little old parlor there, O'erlooking the little lawn, Another sits in her easy chair, And hears the clock tick on. O, the little old town that 1 left one day. Because it was quiet and still. Has the name that It had when I went away, And stands on the same old hill; But the friends that I've traveled "back home" to see Are gone or else are but strangers to me, And over the doors of the little old store, Are names that I never knew, And the dream that was dear of the "old home here Can never, alas, come true! ?S. E. Kiser, in Chicago Times Herald. * Did it ever occure to you why the new cloth top shoes for women came into vogue? Well, it wasn't because fashion leaders consider cloth top shoes more artistic and beautiful than those of leather, neither was it because shoes with cloth tops are easier made. These cloth top shoes became popular because leather was getting scarce and Is even scarcer now than was the case more than a year ago, when the shoes with putty, pearl, tan and other colored cloth tops began to be worn. The style originated in Boston. As Is well known, the greatest shoe manufacturing center of the United States is around Boston. Manufactures are even now running day and night making shoes for European soldiers. The tops, however, are leather, not cloth. The supply of leather was becoming exhausted and the manufacturers of shoes realizing something must be done, decided that the best thing to do would be to introduce shoes for women with cloth tops. Accordingly, a number of models were put out and they immediately "took." Now a woman who wears shoes lacking the cloth tops is considered "out of style." When a Mexican woman prepares ? A 4111 JAI1.. A la II t*r lunulas, Ui uuu y uicau, om; to usually sitting on the threshold of her habitation for purposes of light and neighborly gossip. She has brought forth a grinding stone or flat mortar known as a metate, for the purpose of grinding the maize?an article shaped out of a block of a special kind of volcanic stone, called recinta, an implement inherited from Aztec times. The maize has been boiled with a little lime and is somewhat softened, and she places handfuls of the grain upon the metate, adding water, and shortly reduces it to a stiff paste under the grinding of the upper stone. The tortilla is then patted out into the form of a thii pancake and baked in an earthenware dish, or casuela. If it is to be our fortune to partake of this preparation?and if we have been traveling in a remote part of the country it may be so?it is advisable not to inquire too closely into the cleanliness of the operation, for the Mexican peon and his woman do not consider morning ablutions at all a necessary part of their toilet. The supply of tortillas being finished, they are sufficient for the day's requirements and take the place of bread and, indeed, of plates, knives and forks, for the peons scoop up their food or put It upon these handy pancakes for depositing it in their mouths and munch them with their frljols with the utmost g'isto. BLUNDERS OF BATTLE Cases Where Men of Same Side Have Mowed Each Other by Mistake. It was at Beacon Hill, during the Boer war, that there happened one of the saddest incidents in the history of the British army. The east Surrey were in a hollow between two hills, creeping up the valley. The west Surrey regiment, half a mile away, caught sight of the crouching figures, and took them for Boers. In a moment a heavy volley rang out, and It was not until an officer, realizing the mistake, rushed out in front of the west Surreys that the firing ceased. A nurse, writing afterwards from the Estcourt hospital, said it was pitiful to see the west Surveys coming in one after another, bringing cigarettes, dainties, any present they could find for the wounded men, then, hearing their groans, turn away, saying, "God forgive us! This is our work!" In such a gigantic conflict as this present war, with battle lines stretching a hundred miles and more, similar mistakes are almost bound to occur. We know of two. In the second week in August, when the French were fighting near Mulhausen, one regiment got far In advance of the others, and was ordered to go back. As the men returned, some of their comrades fired at them under the impression that they were Germans. Twenty men were killed and a large number wounded. It was this blunder which caused General Joffre to have cards printed in colors showing the uniforms and headdresses of the various branches of the French service. These have been distributed all through the army. The other case was more recent. It happened in Belgium early in September. A Saxon regiment fired upon some Bavarians, taking them for Belgians. As it was dark at the time the mistake is hardly to be wondered at. Then there was the seven crippled German warships in Kiel harbor. The story is that two German squadrons in the Baltic opened fire on one another early on a misty morning, each taking the other for Russian ships. One of the strangest cases of troops firing upon their own people occurred in Rumania in the year 1885. At that time Rumania was in a very disturbed condition, and bands of robbers?regular bandits?prowled over the country, raiding the villages and farms. The largest of these bands made its headquarters in the forest of Rhodope, and gradually increased until it became 300 strong. It spread terror through the whole country side, and at last the government sent a muuj ui iiuupo v** ii u ii i 11 uun jii The robber band was located on top of a mountain, and the colonel In command of the troops split his forces and sent half up each side, so as to attack from two points simultaneously A thick fog fell, and the robbers took advantage of it to sneak away quietly by a path known only to themselves. The troops, unaware of this maneuvre, continued their ascent, and the two bodies, each crawling along under cover of rocks and brushwood, met at the top. They at once opened fire, and fought desperately for a whole hour before the mistake was discovered. Eighty were killed and 300 wounded. There is at least one case on record of a leader purposely firing upon his own troops. This was Osman Pasha, the greatest general whom Turkey has produced for a century. In the Russo-Turklsh war of 1877, Osman entrenched himself in the village of Plevna, and held it for months, fighting several tremendous battles, and being only beaten in the end by sheer starvation.?Philadelphia Public Ledger. ON THE MAP 3,000 YEARS Smyrna is Bearing Brunt of Attack. Describing the Turkish city of Smyrna, which has been bearing the brunt of an alleged attack in the near east, a recent statement of the National Geographic society says: Smyrna has occupied its place upon the map for more than 3,000 years, and through all this time it has retained its ancient name, its mixed character of east and west, and its significance in the world of trade. From the first, it hits been a rich produce exchange, a great caravansary, and an important harbor, receiving merchant fleets under every flag. Known to the olden Greeks as "The First City of Asia," It survives, In the present, the greatest city In Asia Minor, and the second port of an extensive empire. While Ephesus, Miletus, Sardis, Magnesia, Pergamus and Halicarnasi sua have faded away, Smyrna has ' continued its story of untiring centuries. It has risen superior to every stress, remaining today what it was yesterday, as lasting as Mount Pagus i at its back. The rise, splendor and de' cay of great empires have formed but momentary episodes in this city's life, ; whose history stretches from the 11th ; century before the birth of Christ down to the present day. It, most i truly, deserves the title of Eternal City; for it, like the phoenix of mythology, has ever renewed its nervei less age by a more mangniflcent youtn. Smyrna was founded by Aeolian Greeks upon the natural outlet of an important trade route. It grew rapidly into wealth and power, and early took the lead among the cities of Asia Minor. Ionian Greeks conquered the city in the 7th century B. C., and under these masters it played a leading role in the Ionean League. Jealous of its tremendous riches, the Lydians captured and conscientiously destroyed Smyrna in 677 B. C. Their endeavors were so thorough that there remained but a village until after the Macedonian conquest. Alexander the Great caused the city to be rebuilt, and it was laid out with extravagant magnificence. Among the many beautiful buildings of this new city was the Homereum, where the poet, Homer, was worshipped as a hero. The Seleucidae declared the city sacred and inviolable. In the days of Roman conquest, Smyrna was the great world center of art and learning, somewhat the Paris of that early age. The "Romans, who treated the city well, called it the "Philosophers' Grove," and also "The Oasis of the Muses and the Graces." For many generations, Smyrna was the proudest Asiatic posesslon of the Byzantine empire of the east. In 1402, it was destroyed by the Mongols of Tamerlane, and such of its inhabitants as could be found were killed. When it fell to the Turks. Smyrna received another loving nickname. It was called "The Eye of Asia Minor." The city lies at the head of the Gulf of Smyrna, some 200 miles southwest of Constantinople, with which it is i now connected by rail. The foreground of the port is level ground, while the background is cut by the sharp shoulder of Mount Pagus. There is a population of more than 250,000 of which about one-half is Greek, onefourth Mohammedan, while Armenians and Jews make up the greater part of the remainder. There were also a large number of European residents before the war, who, in the order of their i numbers, were French, English, Italian, Swiss and German. Gr4ek is the language of greatest currency, 1 and, at the war's outbreak, French was the most useful tongue for the visiting foreigner. Smyrna was divided into five quarters, for the Turk, the Jew, the Armenian, the Greek and the European. The Turkish and Jewish quarters were devious, crowded, squalid and forbidding. The Armenian and Greek sections were well-built, with wider and cleaner streets, and of more satisfying appearance. The European section was Smyrna's glory. Here were the finest thoroughfares, the most imposing buildings, a sharply contrasting cleanliness, and the lovely water front The strange organization of the city has given occasion for the development of a curious municipal government The Christian ard Jewish communities have separate elected councils, whi^h are presided over by their respective religious heads. The trade of Smyrna is large. It is worthy of ncte under present conditions that the greatest part of this trade was in the hands of the English. It has an annual import of about $15,000,000 and an annual export of nearly $20,000,000. The Imports are manufactures, coal and iron; and the exports are mainly figs, the famous Smyrna rugs, raisins, tobacco and silk. RANGE OF MODERN GUNS America Has a Cannon that Will Shoot Thirty-One Mile*. The shots fired into Dunkirk on Thursday from a large weapon, or weapons, from behind the German lines near Nieuport, at a range of about twenty-two miles, are said by American army experts to be the irronte>ot Inmr-rone-p firiner known in actual warfare. Several instances are recorded of long-range firing with powerful artillery in times or peace. In England, during Queen Victoria's jubilee celebration, according to statements made by an ordnance expert, a shot from a 9.2-inch gun was fired across water, about twenty-one miles. Several instances of long-range gunnery have been recorded on German proving grounds. But never before in war have missiles been hurled so far as in the attack on Dunkirk. There has been much talk about huge new German guns, such as 50centimeter (19.6-inch) and 55 centimeter (21.6-inch) guns of a howitzer type, calculated to shoot twenty-five miles, but ordnance experts say that weapons of such a caliber and type would not be used in twenty-five mile firing. These men insist today that the weapons used in the attack on Dunkirk were of no greater caliber man twelve iiieuea. me mieai uci man puns of this caliber could easily cover the distance from the German line to Dunkirk if fired at an anple of j forty-five degrees. The United States has coast defense puns which could exceed the range at which the German puns are supposed to have been fired. The puns are the latest American model, and they could duplicate the German feat, if mounted on carriages so constructed as to enable the weapons to fire at an angle of forty-five degrees. Elaborate computations of what might be accomplished by firing American weapons at an angle of 45 degrees have been worked out by ex1 perts for guns of varying caliber, both coast defense, guns and mortars. The most powerful of these in long-range firing is a twelve-Inch gun. When fired at an angle of 45 degrees, this gun has a range of 55.000 yards, or 31 miles. The highest point of the trajectory or line of flight of the pro- ( jectile would be 21,000 yards, or nearly | 12 miles. This highest point of flight would ! be above a point of 30-55th of the dis- j tance from the gun to the target, i Stated differently, the highest point of ! flight would be 21.000 yards in the ] air directly over a point 30,000 yards ] from the gun and 25,000 yards from the target. It is calculated by experts that the highest point reached by the shells fired from the German lines, twentytwo miles into Dunkirk, was about seven miles. They estimate that the time of flight from the German guns was about 107 seconds. This is about the fastest time made by a body projected through space by a man-made machine. The German projectiles, tired into Dunkirk, must have averaged about 3.45 miles a second. If 12-inch weapons were used, and the weight of the projectile was about 1,000 pounds, it probably cost the Ger mans about *1,000 for each shot fired exclusive of the cost of operation and of transporting the guns to the front. A weapon which would fire shots twenty-one miles into Dunkirk would closely approximate a 12-lnch gun, now in use in American coast defenses. This, if fired at an angle of 45 degrees, would have a range of 41,000 yards, or over 23 miles. The highest point of the trajectory of this weapon would be 13,500 yards, or about 7 1-2 miles, and the missile would reach Its target in about 107 seconds. But this gun would fall by eight miles to equal the range of the other American 12-lnch coast defense naval weapons mentioned above, though It is also of 12-inch caliber, and fired at an angle of 45 degrees. The difference In the ranges (41,000 yards and 55,000 yards) Is caused by the different ballistic proprieties of the two weapons, the different initial velocities, weight of shell, and loading charges. Plotted on a diagram arranged in blocks, 5,000 yards to the inch, the lines, representing the trajectories of these American 12-Inch coast defense weapons, the one of 55,000 yards range, the other of 41,000 yards range, and both fired at the high angle of 45 degrees appear colossal when compar ed with the trajectory of the best American mortar fired at the same angle. The range of this mortar gun, when fired at 45 degrees, would be 19,000 yards, or nearly 11 miles, and the highest point of its trajectory would be 5,500 yards, or about three miles. The trajectory of the 12-lnch coast defense, having a range of 55,00 yards, is four times higher, and the range is almost three times greater than tnat of the mortar gun fired at the same angle. Such long-range firing as was accomplished in the atatck on Dunkirk, could not be done by weapons like the German 42-centimeter gun, which is primarily a howitzer and has a short muzzle. This long-range firing could only be accomplished by highpowered naval or coast-defense guns, built primarily for direct firing and for penetration through hardened steel armor at long ranges. The German 42-centimeter guns have a range of about 19,000, or 20,000 yards. The trajectory of missiles fired from them more nearly resembles that of mortar firing.?Washington Dispatch to New York Sun. ESCAPING FROM BELGIUM Wife of an Englishman Had Exceedingly Anxious Time. Here is a story of a woman's escape from Belgium. She is a London soldier's wife and the daughter of a Belgian army officer. After five months' separation she has rejoined her husband in England. Caught in Belgium when the Germans swept over the land, she found no opportunity to get out unui in December, she obtained a conditional passport entitling her to travel within the eastern half of Belgium. "Then," she says, "I 'contracted' with one of those shady 'general and commission agents who makes a specialty of conveying passengers in unlawful fashion across the Dutch frontier, and I left the Belgian capital as one of a party of ten under his guidance." The railway being closed to them, they had to proceed by easy stages on foot or in country cabs when they could get them to the frontier town of X?, and put up at the inn while the contractor hurried to the "Kommandatur," or office of the local German administrators. He returned looking "rather glum," saying that they had each to apply in person. "We entered the kommandatur and the trap so cunningly laid for us by the Germans, to find ourselves placed under immediate arrest. Each of us in turn was closely cross-examined and re-examined, both publicly and in private, by a Prussian colonel and lieutenant, and then certain contradictions having struck our warders, we were searched by one in a neighboring room; the women, at any rate, in a most horrid fashion, not hardly an inch of their clothing or of their person escaping the fingers of the searcher, a 'nun' of whose real profession and sex I am still in doubt. "On hearing the order for the search one of my lady companions, a well known Brussels actress, swooned, or pretended to. And when a male companion of hers failed to re-appear, the mystery was explained to us by the old colonel, who told us that a secret code and official reports to the Belgian government had been found hidden away in the lining of his jacket. He was a spy and would be at once conveyed to the citadel of Antwerp, 'tomorrow, pouf,' grimly added the Prussian veteran, by way of comment. As for ourselves, as we were, to all appearances, associated with such a person, we would at least be detained as 'suspects' pending further inquiries." Not until nearly midnight were they allowed to return to the inn, which they did under an armed escort. "Sadly we sat in the dining room, bewailing our misfortunes, when all of a sudden the young actress, now in tears, confessed to us that she, too, was a Belgian secret agent, in fact, a partner of the doomed man and that upstairs in her bag, there were state papers of considerable importance. She begged us therefore, as patriots, in case she was arrested, to burn those papers. "A little later, about 2 o'clock, in comes a German N. C. O., and an escort to order forcibly her return to the kommandatur. Completly collected now, she bid us au revoir with a nervous smue ana a glance wmcn i shall never forget. When she had gone one of us glided up to the bedroom to fetch the precious papers. The question was how to destroy them without attracting the attention of the sentries placed before our window. There was no other fire burning in the house save in the dining room. Then one of us again, a woman, hit upon a novel plan for disposing of the papers. We moved the table and, as if to pass the time, started dancing all around the room and in front of the hearth. And then as each of our 'merry' party neared the fireplace he or she flung a share of the papers into the flames until the whole lot were consumed. Then upon some abrupt remark by one of the sentries, we quieted down very gradually to allay any lurking suspicions in his mind. "At dawn a German N. C. O. arrived from the kommandatur and politely told us in excellent French that his chiefs were satisfied of our innocence in the matter, but that as no one could leave the country without a special permit from the governor general, we should have to return to Brussels by the way we had come, this time under German supervision. As for our former guide, he was in a fortress." But back at Brussels she determined to have another try. "After spending a sorrowful and memorable night in the fortress city, I accepted a rather timid offer by a gentleman, who possessed a privileged 'permit' to cross the Dutch border to accompany him ( is his wife. He was, however, very much unnerved at the thought of the punishment that might befall him In , the event of his administrative and ! social misdemeanor being found out. "Still, one line morning, about 6 oclock, off we went, the two of us, in a carriage driven by a courageous 'Jobber.' As we drove along we encountered crowds of would-be emigrants, who had been roughly sent back by the German frontier guards, and who shouted to us again and < again, 'It is no use trying. They won't let you through.' My escort got ! nervous at this point and suggested ] giving up the attempt altogether. But 1 I would not hear to this, and alter- I uaicijr LuaAcu aiiu iuicu. "So on we go. Suddenly we pull up. Two sentries, with fixed bayonets appear at the horse's head and cry 'Halt' No Joke. Just only the other day a whole party were shot down for falling to stop when ordered. A moment later both doors of our carriage are simultaneously thrown open by two German officers, one on each side, who demanded our passports. " 'Husband and wife?' A timid "yes.' Will they notice that our passports bear different names and different conditions? The officer who is inspecting my husband's permit grunts his approval, and inquires regarding mine. The colleague in reply points out to me that my passport does not authorize me to travel across the frontier. I explain that I should like to see my husband to the frontier limit, adding with a smile, 'Surely, sir, you understand that wish. It is a pleasure to meet people who speak French so , well, and to whom one can explain things.' "My German officer beams, my reference to his linguistic accomplishments evidently pleasing him and with a friendly nod to the driver, says: 'All right; go ahead!' And soon we are in sight of the frontier village? half Belgian, half Dutch. We are both all of a tremble, he and I. There is still a German post to face before we reach the land of freedom. We . take leave, with many thanks, of our brave and devoted driver. He says only one thing: 'Be cool! Be cool!' "Timidly on foot we approach the frontier, in our nervous anxiety almost waving our passports in the faces of the sentries on guard. A. N. C. O. appears and glances at my hus- 1 band's document and as I interpose the remark, 'those officers over there < gave us permission to go through" does not even look at mine, but is content to say, 'You may pass.' "We are across. Oh, what a thrill! , Free once more! We can hardly be lieve it, and to make sure of it repeatedly Inquire of the people in the streets if we are in Holland. They laugh. "Oh, yes, you are qu *e safe.' And now up rushes an automobile, ever on the lookout for 'fugitives.' A dollar a head will take us to the neighboring town, whence I can wire to my other 'husband' who has been waiting for me at Flushing. And as our car whizzes off, I promptly pin on my breast the hitherto forbidden cockade of Belgium's heroic black, yellow and red." DOG'S DEVOTION TO MAN Canine Pet of French Soldier Saves His Wounded Mastsr. The dog of a French soldier followed him to the war, lived with him In ' the trenches and shared his blanket at night. A shell killed a dozen men and buried this one, badly wounded, in a trench which the explosion half filled with earth. The dog dug frantically for his master and managed to expose his face before he suffocated. Then he seized other soldiers by their clothing and finally succeeded in drawing them to the scene. They unearthed their comrade and put him on a hospital train, into which the dog also managed to force his way. At the hospital, near Paris, the man's leg was amputated, and the devotion of the dog was such that the attendants found a kennel for him near the kitchens and allowed him to visit his master twice a day. His love for the wounded man was so great and his sympathy with his suffering so evident as to touch the hearts of all who saw it What does it mean? Here is devotion which exceeds that of many mothers, of many men. Here is af- < fection manifested in a lower order of life which equals our own. It is probably true that the dog is of all animals the most capable of sincere, self-denying attachment, these higher qualities havine been developed by long and close companionship with men. He can subordinate himself more completely and enter into man's feelings more sympathetically than any other form of life; yet how friendly and how loving to the extent of their capacity would all the furred and feathered folk of the woods and fields be if only man would meet them half way. How the birds would delight to sing for him if their confidence had not been destroyed by ages of persecution. There are Hindus who assert as a fact, within our experiences, that there are kindly men who respect all animal life whom neither tigers nor snakes will harm. An Immunity of this sort was assured of old to believers, but it would seem that nobody has sufficient faith to make trial of it nowadays?Rochester Post-Ex press. Jttf'In ten years, "Barry" one of the dogs of the St. Bernard hospice, saved no less than forty lives. WEDDING PRESENTSSTERLING SILVER PLATED SILVER CUT GLASS FANCY CHINA Come and let us show you how easy you can make selections at this good store. T W SPRC1C Teweler Vain Regrets It is a common experience to hear men who have one or more policies in the Mutual Benefit Life Insurance Company that have been in force for five years or longer, and often for a shorter time, and also have insurance in other companies, that they have been carrying not less than five years, and cannot let go without serious loss, that they regret seriously that All their insurance is not In the Mutual Benefit. Each one has learned that "There is a difference," by experience. The man who fails to look before he leaps often regrets his action. I shall be pleased to show you the difference between the MUTUAL PENEFIT and All Other companies. It will be better to find out Before you buy life insurance than to learn After you have placed yourself in the position of the people referred to above. SAM >1. OH I ST. Special Agent. 3TBuy your Typewriter Ribbons. Carbons and Paper at The Enquirer1 Office. Prompt attention given to mail and phone orders. Corn-Mad? Use "GETS-IT," It's Sure Make* Corns Vanish Like Magic. A hard cap of skin makes up every :orn. When you put 2 drops of "GETSIT" on it, it shrivels up and comes right off?and there's your corn?gone by thunder! Simple as taking off your hat! That's why corn-millions have gone wild over "GETS-IT"?nothing like it ever known. Some folks to this Do"'* Time "Hollering." "GETS4T." World'* SimpUtt CoraOm, Nrrar Falk. * day, putter around with bandages, sticky tape, thick plasters, corn "pulling" salves, gouge corn out with knives, snip them with scissors, make them bleed and then howl because they can't get rid of sore corns. Use "GETS-IT." There's nothing to do but apply 2 drops. The work is done. "GET-IT" does the rest. No pain, no fussing, no changing shoes, no limping. It never fails. Try It tonight for any corn, callus, wart or bunion. Be Bure that you get "GETS-IT" and nothing else. "GETS-IT" is sold by druggists everywhere, '25c a bottle, or sent direct by E. Lawrence & Co., Chicago. 2 MELROSE FLOUR Good Housekeepers who know good FLOUR, and who are acquainted by experience with MELROSE, will tell you that it is without exception the BEST Flour ever sold on this market. We have a fresh supply. It is BEST for Biscuit, for Light Bread? Salt Raised?and for Cakes and Pies. People who use MELROSE once are not satisfied with anything else. A trial will convince you if you are at all skeptical. It costs a little more than some Flours, but then its Satisfying Quality makes it worth the difference. FARM HARDWARE? Let us supply your needs in Farm Hardware?Wagons, Plow Shapes, i Plow Stocks, Cotton Hoes, Shovels, Pitch Forks. Trace Chains, Collar J Pads. etc. We'll save you money. Yorkville Banking & Mer. Co. YOUR OWN BROTHER WO! CHANGING TO A .. TRAVEL SUP THESE MERCHANTS GIVE PLUS A MILE IN TRAVEL THE THOMSON CO.? DRY GOODS, MILLINERY, SHIEDER DRUG STORE? DRUGS, MEDICINES, CANDI S. L. STEELE? GROCERIES, FRUITS, WHIT YORKVILLE HARDWARE SHELF AND HEAVY HARD LYRIC THEATREMOVING PICTURES?A8 GC TRAVEL SLIPS ! FIRST NATONAi, Rebuilt Ty\ STANDARD TYPEWR the uniform price of $100.00 E sometimes they can be bought had it a week it is "second hai price you paid if you wanted enced Typewriter salesman ca about the little devices that 1: machine has?point out its co bon, back spacer, tabulating de that his machine is the only or ?that is exactly what he is reasons why you pay $ioo foi asked to pay this price in orde l x- -1- L! J _ T Kenng rne macnine?anu 01 to imate and part of the business Aside from the pride you m< model" typewriter with all th< any more REAL TYPEWR: have had you bought a REBl Machine will not write any li any easier or anv plainer than to doughnuts that it won't 1 This being TRUE do you thi New machine at $100.00, whe built Typewriter of exactly tl saving of from $35.00 to $50.0 are flush with the coin of the generous to the Typewriter ? Builders and pay them the $ic is perfectly all right and furth ness. But if you are buying a let us urge you to investigate before you buy. Tell us wha to make you a price and then Look these prices over?They saving you will make in buyir PRICES ARE VERY LOWRemington No. 6, Blind Wi Remington No. 10, Visible \ Smith Premier No. 2, Blind Smith Premier No. 10, Visit Oliver No. 2, Visible Writer Oliver No. 5, Visible Writer Royal Standards No. 5, Visil Monarch No. 2, Visible Wri Underwood No. 4, Visible V Underwood No. 5, Visible V L. C. Smith No. 2, Visible V L. C. Smith No. 5, Visible \ A TYPEWRITER IN YOU] Will prove its value in 1 learn to use it and the knowle years?your wife can use it fr age?A Smith Premier No. 2, advantages to the beginner, t use of a "shift key" for Capital is a single keyboard, blind wri visible writer?all of these ma reach (see prices above) and The price of Rebuilt Machines Builders' Number?the higher the price?Express Charges, u: THINK THE MATTER OV See if you do not think a Ty worth the price?and then see L. M. GRIST'S S Yorkvill DIRECTORY OF YORK COUNTY : A DIRECTORY of the White Men of York county of voting age, together with the postofflce address and occupation of each, may be had at the Bank of Clover, the Bank of Hickory Grove, the First National Bank of Sharon, the People's National Bank of fc Rock Hill, or from The Enauirer Office at 25 cents a copy. This directory contains more than 4,000 names, and is of especial service and value for commercial purposes. Published by L. M. GRISTS 80N8. SEWING MACHINE REPAIRING YOUR Old Machine, that runs so heavily that you dread to use it. can be cleaned up, readjusted and put in such condition that you will be delighted with It, and would as soon have It as a New Machine. The cost Is not very great for this work and you will be pleased at the expenditure. Better get your machine In shape now for the spring sewing. You'll And me Jl at The Enquirer office. LEWIS M. GRIST. A Party of FishermenOut of Mt. Croghan, sitting around the camp Are, were discussing the COFFEE they had Just drunk. ALL OF THEM agreed "IT WAS JUST FINE." One man said, while they were talking, that he "Just Could Not Stand That "LUZIANNE COFFEE," but wanted Straight Coffee. The 4 cook told him that "IT WAS LUZIANNE" they had just finished drinking, and actually had to "show him" the can before the would believe it. The trouble with this fellow was, He Had Not Taken Proper Care In making Coffee out of LUZIANNE. ... LUZIANNE... IS GOOD ALL THE TIME. JLDNT BLAMF YOU FOR 1 MERCHANT.. ' YOU THE BEST NOTIONS, CLOTHING, SHOES. * ES, MAGAZINES, PAINTS, OILS, E HOUSE COFFEE, TEAS, ETC. E CO.? WARE, KITCHEN WARE, ETC. OD AS CAN BE SEEN?COME. REDEEMED AT BANK Of Yorkville lewritersITERS practically all sell at ach?That's the "list price"? : for less?and when you have ' tid" and you could not get the to sell. Of course the experi n come along and tell you an lis machine has that no other nveniences?its two color rib ivice, etc., and make you think le to buy. That's his business paid to do?that's one of the a new Typewriter?You are x to help pay the cost of mariurse that is all perfectly legit. But where do you come in? iy have in the "very newest e "newest kinks," you haven't ITER value than you would JILT MACHINE. The New larder, any faster, any better, a REBUILT, and it's dollars ook any better to your eye. ink it good business to buy a 9 n you can buy a Factory Rele same make and model at a o or more? Of course, if you 4 ; realm, and want to be real l Salesman and the Typewriter fl 0 anyway, why of course that ermore it is none of our busi1 Typewriter for business use, ; the FACTORY REBUILT t you want?We will be glad f i you can decide for yourself. r will give you an idea of the lg a REBUILT MACHINE: I iter $19 to $21 Vriter $42 to $55 Writer $18 to $20 >le Writer $27 to $42 $22 to $25 $27 to $38 J \ ble Writer $42 to $45 1 ter $32 to $46 . Writer $38 to $57.50 .J Vriter $ai to $6s Vriter $32 to $45 Vriter $48 to $55 * HOME? nany ways?the children can dge will be of value in later equently and to good advantwith double keyboard, has its ?ecause it doesn't require the letters?the Remington No. 6 iter and the Oliver No. 2, is a ichines are easily within your will give entire satisfaction, i is governed by the Serial or the Serial Number the higher sually about $1.50?are extra. ER pewriter in your home will be us. IONS, Printers, e, S. C. s