University of South Carolina Libraries
^tumorous 5 f part mm t. Precocious Willi?.?Reference was made to precocious youngsters at a recent dinner in Washington, when Senator George C. Perkins of California, was reminded of a boy who came under that head. The boy, whose name was Willie, the senator said, lived in a happy home, together with his father, mother and a sweet sister of 26 summers or so. One evening a veteran of the Civil war was a guest at the house, and after dinner the entire party sat in the parlor and listened to a recital of the veteran's adventures. "It was no picnic. I assure you," feelingly continued the veteran. "In all I was engaged five times, and?" "Bing!" suddenly interrupted the precocious Willie. "That was nothin'?" "Why, Willie!" corrected the kid's horrified mother. "What do you mean?" "I mean that five ain't so many," was the startling rejoinder of Willie. "Why sister Gladys has been engaged nine times." The Cause of It.?Two men on a train were apparently old acquaintances, and they were in a jovial mood. Both were gray, but each had a luxuriant head of hair. Near them sat a stout party with a shining dome that was almost destitute of hirsute covering. The two friends exchanged facetious remarks about silver locks, then indulged in some pleasantries about * * * ? " ? V? n i f h tne "ininning ui mc maivu, casual references to doorknobs and billiard balls, much to the amusement of the passengers, but to the evident discomfiture of the baldheaded man. The talk finally developed into an argument of the cause of baldness, and after considerable jocularity the pair turned to the pearly pated stranger and one said: "My friend and I have been discussing the cause of baldness, but we can't seem to agree. Would you mind telling us what you regard as the real cause of baldness?" The stranger wheeled about, eyed his questioners fiercely and snorted: "Brains." The Lost Decoy.?On the occasion of a mayoral banquet in a small provincial town one of the last guests to leave went to the cloak room for his coat and hat. He couldn't help noticing the woebegone look on the attendant's face. The poor man appeared worried and sad, and every little while he sighed and muiierea 10 himself. "You seem upset," remarked the guest sympathetically. "I am upset, sir," said the attendant. "What is the trouble? Haven't the guests tipped you well tonight?" The attendant answered in an excited voice: "It's not only, sir, that they haven't tipped me, but they've taken the quarter dollar that I put on the tray for a decoy." What Everybody Knows.?The Sunday school teacher was talking to her pupils on patience. She explained her topic carefully, and, as an aid to understanding, she gave each pupil a card bearing the picture of a boy fishing. "Even pleasure," she said, "requires the exercise of patience. See the boy fishing; he must sit and wait and wait. He must be patient." Having treated the subject very fully she began with the simplest, most practical question: "And now can any little boy tell me what we need most when we go fishing?" The answer was quickly shouted with one voice: "Bait." A Stayer.?It isn't steadiness and humdrum regularity that win a man success today. No, indeed. It is brilliance. It is audacity." The speaker was Johnson Bowen, a successful Chicago promoter; the scene a banquet of advertising men in New York. He went on: "Two millionaire business men were lunching on Fifth avenue when an old graybeard stumped by. H 'TKot'o Rphti-n "Wwnrkfl fnr me.' said the first business man. " 'He's an honest-looking chap. Has he got staying powers?" asked the second business man. " 'He has that,' said the first. 'He begun at the bottom of the ladder in '76, and he's stayed there ever since.? Public Ledger. <tti' Boy, watch my horse till I come back!" called a man to a boy lounging around the station, as he hastened to bid farewell to a departing friend. "Sure!" said the boy, taking the reins. Just then the locomotive whistled and the horse, rearing suddenly, started at full speed up the road. The boy stared after the fleeing animal, and, as the owner appeared, exclaimed with relief: "It's a good thing you came now, sir, for I couldn't have watched him much longer." Couldn't Be Worse.?A preacher was delivering his farewell sermon. One old sister seemed greatly distressed. The pastor, at the close of the sermon, attempted to comfort her and said: "Don't be so troubled, my sister, the Lord will send you another pastor and I expect a better one than I am." "No," she said, "I don't expect that. We have changed pastors several times, and every time they get worse and worse." Just Kittenish.?"Men is sho' fickle," said Miss Miami Brown: "dey goes back on you on de slightest provocation." "What's been happenin'?" asked Miss Alice Jefferson Tompkins. "Mr. Hastus Pinkley come aroun' tryin' to kiss me. an' so as not to seem too willin" an' audacious 1 smashed 'im wif a Hatiron, an' jes' foh dat he jilted me!" "Hamlet Left Out."?A prominent Virginian hail died, and his daughter in arranging the house for the funeral had gone almost to an extreme in placing palms and ferns and plants in the drawing room?in fact, it had more the appearance of a wedding than a funeral. One of the old darkies came to pay his last respects. "Miss Mae." he said, "dis surely is fine, all dese here trees; but. Miss Mae. where is you going to put your pa?" ittiscrllancous grading. THE MATTER WITH KANSAS. Once In Bankruptcy, Now It Is Rich and Prosperous. A few days ago, when the whole country was worrying about the unprecedented heat and drought in the west, the governor of Kansas issued a public statement saying he hoped no one would waste pity on the people of his state. He told the world they were taking the medicine nature at some time or other deals out in some way or other to every community and that no people ever were so well prepared to meet a situation. "With more than $200,000,000 on deposit in our state and national banks, we could weather a worse storm than this without hardship,'" he said. And when you stop to think that this money, divided equally among the men, women and children and babies of Kansas, would give each of them $118 in cash, not to mention the tidy sum of $1,684 each is credited with as his or her share of the state's assessed wealth, you can see the force of the argument. As a matter of fact, Kansas, which last year produced $325,000,000 worth of farm products, can better afford such a roasting and drying up than any other state in the union, for her per capita wealth is larger than that of any other state. She can better afford this or any brand of calamity, for her people are not constantly paying uui uugc ou...o for the care and keep of criminals, paupers, insane and feeble minded. In eighty-seven of her 105 counties there are no insane. In fifty-four of this number are no feeble minded. Ninety-six counties have no Inebriates and in the other nine they're as scarce as hen's teeth. Thirty-eight county poorhouses are as empty as a last year's locust shell, and most of these have been so for the best part of a decade. The pauper population of the state falls a little short of 600. That is one pauper for each 3,000 of the kind making a living and a good one?the kind that now own $255,000,000 worth of livestock and in the last twelve months have added $45,000,000 to their taxable personal property. At one time not long ago the Jails in nny-inree counties nuc ciU|>., sixty-five counties were on the roil as having no prisoners serving sentence in the penitentiary. Some counties have not called a grand jury to try a criminal case in ten years, and the attorney general says, "a grand jury is so uncommon that half our people would not know what it is and how to use it." For still other reasons Kansas can afford to lose two-thirds of one corn crop without having to renew the calamity howls which once went rasping through the nation from that "grassy quadrangle whose dream is the realization of the impossible," and which for twenty-five years has been making the dream come true. Instead of being plastered from end to end with mortgages held by easterners, as was the case two decades ago, her own people this year hold more than $67,000,000 in this form of wealth, an increase of over 500 per cent in nvc jrais, Instead of being hampered by a large mass of illiterates?thirty years ago 49 per cent of her population came under this head?her present ratio of 2 per cent is next to the lowest in the land and two-thirds lower than Massachusetts, including Boston. Where "Sockless" Jerry Simpson once preached populism now William Alden White delights a world with his wit and wisdom. In place of Carrie Nation's creeds, punctuated with hatchet thwacks, we have Ed Howe's incomparable book of travel. But the pride of Kansas is not penned up in a few names that shine out against a Hull iiaokirroiind of mediocrity. Her boast is an average of physical and mental ability not equaled by any other state. It is this uncommon prevalence of sound minds in sound bodies that has reduced her death rate from 17 to 7 per 1,000 in thirty years, though the former percentage still holds among her neighbors. It is this combination of sense and solid muscle that has kept her growing stronger and richer through extremes of climate which soon would decimate a less fit lot. These people have made good In a zone once declared to be unquestionably unproductive. In the last twenty years they've made this "unproducl*? ?? il <'>14 aa?.m u-Knut u-orth 1 live sun jit-iu tmii ii 11 u niicui ?.... $2,517,902,640. They've shown the nation the worth of alfalfa as a money maker, a soil rejuvenator and an ideal feed for stock. The wheat crop, har- 1 vested before the late hot spell, is 1 worth $63,000,000 at current prices. And in 1907, when the panic was on, Kansas forwarded $50,000,000 to help Wall street out of the hole?the same Kansas which once was laughed at by the islanders of Manhattan as dead broke and done for! She hasn't as many people as some of the other states, but man for man, she creates wealth much faster than any other; she keeps her own healthier and richer than any other, and offers for the world's consideration a record of moral and material progress the (like of which has not been seen since civilization dawned in the valleys of the Nile and the Euphrates. Though forced to acknowledge this, j we cannot help thinking it strange. The people who settled Kansas were not different, on the whole, from those who pioneered in Illinois, Iowa and Nebraska. Nor are the soil and climatic conditions greatly unlike. Indeed. the odds are unfavorable to Kansas, so far us natural conditions are concerned. Yet many of the facts here arrayed could not be spoken of these states. So something would seem to be the matter with Kansas. Something is the matter with her. That something, we believe, can be boiled down into these tirst fourteen words constituting an amendment to her constitution in 1881: The manufacture and sale of intoxicating liquor shall be forever prohibited in this state. It is this fundamental provision, fought and evaded in some localities as it was for a quarter century, and strictly enforced in all parts of the state only within the last five years, that has helped Kansas to Haunt a two-hundred-million bank account in the face of a partial crop failure; that relieves her of spending much time, strength and money on paupers, criminals. insane and feeble minded; that gives her the best of chances for living and the fewest excuses for dying. It is this defiance of what other states have legalized as a "necessary evil" that has helped to make her citizens the richest per capita in the country and the richest of any agricultural folk in the world; that has given her a permanent school fund of $10,000,000 and has reduced her illiteracy to an almost negligible quantity. It is in this Instance upon what slaves of custom have sneered at as "impracticable," if not impossible, that has helped to give her a balance of more than a million and a quarter in her state treasury and no bonded debt, save $370,000 held by the permanent school fund; this alone that makes possible the statement that 08 per cent of her 400,000 school children huve never seen a saloon. For even while the liquor interests succeeded in evading the law in many instances and boasted that prohibition was a failure in Kansas, government statistics showed that the average annual consumption of intoxicating liquors in that state was $1.48 per capita, while in the neighboring state of Missouri, where the whisky ring ruled, it was tzi per capua. In other words, the average Kansan had just $22.52 more to spend on food, clothing, education and entertainment than his average neighbor across the Kaw. And just about that much more to save on doctors, nurses, fines, jails, poorhouses and insane asylums. And now that the United States supreme court has upheld the Webb law prohibiting liquor shipments into legally dry territory, Kansas is enabled to enforce legislation that will virtually eliminate intoxicants from her borders. Again and again it has been said that prohibition is a failure in Kansas; that when the older generation responsible for its adoption passed over the reins of government to its sons ?and daughters, for Kansas has recognized woman's right as full citizens ?Kansas would "come b{ick to her senses." That this prophecy was without foundation is Dest eviaencea oy me following statement from Attorney General Dawson: The last two sessions of the legislature answered these false prophets by passing the most drastic prohibition law in the world, killing the drug store saloon, making it impossible even to cure snake bites by the liquor treatment and absolutely clapping down the "lid" and riveting it on. They were not satisfied by going this far, but showed their appreciation of the benefits of state-wide prohibition by making it a felony for the fellow who violated the law a second time. And I have Just lately received from the warden at the penitentiary a receipt for one "Red Mercer," who was sent up from Barber county as a first consignment to serve nine years for violating the new prohibitory law. The law that sent him there was made by those tow-headed, one-gallus~ -1 ?..U/v nrraiu *n munVton/1 on tho CU uuyo W IIV/ 6IC?? IV/ ixudiivvw W. ...? Kansas prairies without ever having seen a saloon. Yes; something's the matter with Kansas. Of what it is there can be no doubt in the mind of any unprejudiced observer. And in view of the effect in the Sunflower State, there is little wonder than an increasing number of persons believe that this nation will be past the most dangerous rocks in its course when the thing that is the matter with every square mile of territory from Gastport to San Diego and from Walla Walla to Key West is remedied.?North American Magazine. CASTE AMONG HOBOES Real Wanderers Despise "Bums and Panhandlers." "Mission stiffs, panhandlers, bums and strikebreakers are not allowed. Get out!" Thus reads a neat pasteboard card dangling in the window of a little room on the first floor of 816 Callowhill street, Philadelphia. It is flanked by a card announcing the establishment of a "Hobo Employment Bureau," and urging every hobo to walk in and "join the union." If the passerby is a bit dazed by i this apparently contradiction of invi- 1 tations, and if he wonders how the i "bum" genus differs from the "hobo" 1 genus, he has only to walk in and inquire of Joe Millar, who claims to have crossed the country on freight trains more than 100 times. < The hobo will always give something l for lodging or meals while on the road, | and he has the most profound con- i tempt for the man who beats his way i from place to place without working. 1 Bums, on the other hand, are the i derelicts who strew the park benches i and fill the workhouses. I Panhandlers are street beggars. i "Mission stiffs" are down-and-out- i ers who won't work and are willing to ! exchange "conversion" for bread, cof- 1 fee, and a free bed. 1 "Thw hnhfi la the itinerant laborer I the fellow who saws lumber in Maine 1 one week and punches cattle in Texas 1 the next" says Joe Millar. "In the east < the average public confuses the hobo < with the tramp, but in the west, where 1 he obtained his nickname, he is often < a welcome guest at the farm in harv- 1 est time." 1 The hoboes of America, or if you 1 must be dignified, the International t Brotherhood Welfare association of i Unemployed, Migratory and Casual i Workers, have organized to demand a 10-hour day and a minimum wage of < 15 cents an hour. They have a weekly 1 journal. The Hobo News, published in Chicago, by August Sehurmeyer. They < have an I. B. W. A. button, with the word "justice" encircled by the name ( of the organization. The significance of the emblem is that justice is the < keynote to liberty. "Justice," com- l ments the Hobo News, "is what we 1 want; liberty is what we all prize." < Recently the organization held a < conference in Cleveland to which dele- i gates were sent from every local or- ! ganization in the United States, and I where all union problems and princi- i pies were discussed.?The Sparvey. < Deadly Inventors.?Though the rifles ' that bear his name have mown down ! thousands and are now killing their hundreds in Mexico, Dr. Paul von ! Mauser, the inventor, dies peacefully in his bed at the age of 76. Dr. Richard Gatling, father of the Oatling gun ! was an amiable physician, loving nothing else so well as his family circle and quiet home. When Dr. Guillotine ! proposed, as a substitute for hanging, ' "swift and painless" execution by machine, he never dreamed that his name 1 would be forever associated with the bloodiest period in French history. 1 The donor of the peace prize, who left ; millions for "the furtherance of international brotherhood and the reduction of standing armies," was Alfred Nobel, who invented dynamite and i powders that belched from countless i cannon.?Baltimore Sun. I A STOLEN RESCUE. By Lincoln Steffena. Mickey Sweeney was sitting on the railing in front of police headquarters waiting for Chief Sullivan. The reporters were loafing in one of their rooms across the street and the boy believed his chance had come to see "the old man" casually, yet alone. The only doubt lay in the probability that the chief would drive up; then the others would hear the cab. If he walked The chief walked slowly into sight around the corner of Houston street into Mulberry. He was a pleasant person to see, if you did not know him; stout, but red and ojlly; a bold rascal, but a "good fellow." As he came along toward Mickey he said: " 'Laj Mickey!" "'Lo chief!'' the boy answered, without moving. The chief was passing, but he kept his face turned to Mickey's and there was a twinkle in his eye. They knew each other well, these two; for they were old enemies, so old that they had a queer sort of Irish affection for their feud. So now, though Mickey remained perched on the rail and gave no sign of his wish to speak to the "big fellow," Sullivan understood. He halted, hesitated, then turned back. "Out with it!" he commanded, hu morously. "It's your play! What ye got in yer hand?" Then Mickey spoke. "Say, chief," he said, "you know all those recent promotions for bravery?" "More knockin', eh? What promotions for bravery? Which ones?" "All of 'em, but especially those three friends of yours?Brady, Cutts and Donegan." "Well, what about 'em?" The chief was playing; the boy was hard at work. "Bogus!" said Mickey. "Fraud, fake!" "What's fake, th* promotions?" "Nope, th' bravery." "Ah, what ye givin me? Always knockin', you are; always a-knockin,' I knew it." As the chief said this he drew out a cigar, and, leaning against the rail, he , scratched a match and began to smoke, , while he watched Mickey, evidently getting much amusement out of the , boy's seriousness. r. AkU# Tlfo 11 a a picii)' fiwuu aiui tutci. naiu | it?" Mickey said. "Well, Sweeney," the chief answered ] self appreciatively, "ye know I don't like good stories as well as you fellers do." j "Not, after they're printed," Mickey ( agreed, "but how about before?" I The chief laughed in his hearty, noisy way. "Well, I'll take it before. I notice you . always make me pay for a story you give to me instead of to the reporter. ; But fire ahead, give us your story." , "It'll just about last out that cigar | yer smokin,' Got the time?" "I'll make the time if you'll make it ( interestin.'" "Well, chief," said Mickey, there's a certain little old farmer cop over on the docks at th' end of this street, not- < ed fer savin' lives. He's a wonder. He's ] a pretty good swimmer, but it ain't i that; he's done some mighty fine work at fires, too. The trouble with hifctt is he's all th' time sawin' wood, so, of i course, he gets lots o' chances t' distinguish himself. ! "What's his name?" the chief asked. mvaeevci, uutvu iicic nuiu me ' woods, a " i "Roosevelt cop," the chief said, and i he hung himself by the elbows over the ] railing comfortably. i "A Roosevelt cop," Mickey assented. "Believes what th' commissioner uster i tell him, that if he does his little trick ( like a little man he'll rise. And th' j commissioner kep' his word, till th' < people got sick o' reform an' sent fer < you an' that sort." "Go wan," said Sullivan, spitting < over his shoulder into the area. "Well, McKeever, he saws wood and i nobody knows it. Can't leave him on a good post because he'll report gamblln,' j saloons open an' all that. Obeys or ers that ain t meant to be obeyed. You know th' sort." i "Saw wood, Mickey, or me cigar 1 won't last." "That's the spirit," said Mickey, solemnly. "Well, anyhow, along the river r front and around the station houses he gets quite a nume for th' real thing; i none o' yer nerve, but genuine courage r see? Why, once I seen him rescue a j horse that fell overboard with a deliv- i pry wagon. McKeever jumped right into the tangle with a knife an' he cut th' horse loose, but not till they'd drift- .? ed 'way out in th' stream. Then he swam back leadin' the horse to where t some fellows with a derrick could heave 'im out. An' you see, chief, it wasn't just the rescue I liked. McKeev- c ?r was good to th' horse. The poor 5 beast was winded, so McKeever swam r back slow with him; didn't urge him; \ ind it was cold?whew! Then when th' t Jerrick fellows got made and in a hurry t McKeever called up to 'em to take It ^ ?asy or he'd make 'em. Besides that, c when they got th' horse out, th' driver kicked about th' wagon bein' more valuable, and th' cop says to him. 'Mister,' he says, quiet and straight, "I wet my clothin* for th' horse, not for yer property, see?" Just like that." "That's th' stuff!" the chief exclaimed. "Straight goods delivered free, VIcKeever, eh?" Mickey's face beamed and he paused; he was glad. "Go wan," the chief commanded, shewing his cigar. "Yes," Mickey said, "that's th' sort >f a copper McKeever is all alone over there on th' water front in t'n' dark with no friends but kids an' horses an' Jrunken 'longshoremen an' women an' citizens. Now, then, in the same precinct with him is a ward man, 'Snake' Snooks, an' you know him. He was fired out by th' reform board, kept his mouth shut, took his medicine, an' came back with you. Had to he rewarded. so you make him ward man and he makes th' graft. Snooks is a j snake all right, all right. j "I don't believe I like this cigar," s said the chief. t "Have another," said Mickey, "while t change th' tune. You know the civil service rules?" "Well, accordin' to one of 'em," Mickey said, "promotions for conspicuous courage goes without examination." "Ain't forgettin' that farmer on th' docks, are ye?" asked the chief. "No," said Mickey. "I'm coming back to him. but ye needn't be worried about him. He's always on post." "Ah g'wan, Sweeney." Sweeney went on: "Now, there was lots of good fellows caught it hard and heavy from reform that had to be rewarded for not hollerin' on their captains, but there was no : way to provide for 'em all. There stood the civil service rules against 'em. They had to pass examinations and? they couldn't. It looked pretty tough, ye remember, till some station house lawyer run on to th' rule about conspicuous courage. Not many of 'em had th' kind of conspicuous courage meant, and those that had it was off post in liquor stores so much they missed chances t' show it. You know how it was, chief. But, say, do you know how th' fellows worked it?" "Do you?" "Yep; they bought rescues," said Mickey, and he waited for the chief to make some comment. The chief stretched himself in the sun, so Mickey hurried on. "The fellows ye wanted to promote paid $10 to $50 down to th' man that made a rescue, an' took th' credit. Then they got their promotions. But I see you know all about that. Also ye know that sometimes they just stole th' credit, and saved th' ten." "Where did McKeever come in?" the chief asked cynically. "Did he sell or was he robbed?" "He didn't sell," said Mickey. "He didn't care. They offered to buy one act of his, a beaut; but he smiled and walked off. 'Snake' Snooks sold th' rescue to Brady, an' waited. They're, a little afraid o' McKeever down there. But he never peeped, so they watched him an' every time he fished out a drunk 'Snake' was by and some friend of yours was promoted for th' good o' th' service." The chief threw away the cigar half smoked as it was. "Don't like th' story," he said. "But how did you get on to th' deal?" "When th' horse was rescued." "What!" the chief was astonished. "Yep," said Mickey, who saw that at last he was telling the chief something he didn't know. "Yes, sir, they turned that horse into a lady an' you made Donegan a sergeant of police for the saving of her life." The chief had been growing redder n nrl vaHHat* In f ho fn no?with mirth n a Mickey told this, and now he burst into a roar of laughter. "That's one on me!" he said. "That's one on me!" Then he spit and frowned. "I'll wring Donegan's neck," he said, "or was it 'Snake?'" "Snake," said Mickey vindictively. "Well, what of it?" the chLef said, serious at last, and sharp, too. "What of it, eh?" "This," said Mickey, sliding down off the rail, to accept the challenge. "I happened to witness that horse rescue, by accodent, as I said, and after I heard what came off, I saw I had a scandal to beat th' band." "So ye rubbered?' the chief sneered. "So I rubbered," said Mickey steadily. "I went down to see if I couldn't ?et McKeever to give me an interview that would expose th' whole business." "And he give up?" There was a threat in the way Sullivan said this. Mickey paid no heed. "I had a deuce of a time findin' him. I looked all over for him. It was his tour, but he wasn't on post. Oh, I found him. Where d'ye think I found him?" "In a liquor store," suggested the chief. "That's right," said Mickey. "That's ivh?r? T fnnnH him " The chief looked surprised; he hadn't expected that, and he was curious. But tie waited, and Mickey waited. It was the chief who surrendered. "Well, go on," he said at last, "what was your reform cop doin' off post in there?" "He was lickin' th' stuffin' out o* Snake Snooks." "What!" The chief looked as If he were watching a prize fight, and, moreover, he looked as if he had bet on the winning man. But doubt crossed his mind. "Ah, git out. What ye givin' me?" he said, backing off. "That's right," said Mickey. "You remember that fire, night before last lown that way? Detective Officer Kee?an happened to be over there an' rescued a sick woman from th' top floor of th" tenement?" "Yes, and a fine act it was, too," the ihief asserted, challenging denial. "Mighty fine," said Mickey. "Do you emember the woman's name?" "Less see," the chief said, trying to ecall it. "Nope." "It was McKeever," said Mickey. "His wife?" And the chief was eady to roar out another of his big aughs. But Mickey spoiled it. "No," he said, "it was his mother." The chief was as anxious as Mickey low. "Well?" he said. "The man that saved her was McCeever. Keegan wasn't within a mile >f th" place, but Snooks was, an* he ladn't tried to go into the house. McCeever rushed right past him and sav>d his own mother. And?" "And?" the chief repeated, standing itraight. "Snooks tried to steal the credit o' hat for Keegan, but?" "Of course," the chief exclaimed. "No, you're wrong. McKeever didn't bject to even that. What he licked >nooks for was for proposing that his nother make an affidavit to a lie; they vanted her to swear that Keegan did he trick. She wouldn't, so they had o report it to you with only th' affilavits of friends and neighbors and ither police." Mickey rested, watching his man. The chief frowned, a sure sign of bought in him. By and by his face traightened out. "Say, Mickey," he said, "did McCeever give it to Snake good, hard? or fair?" "No," the boy said, intently eyeing he chief. "Snake hollered and I came ip." "You're always buttin' into things ou've got no right to see?" The chief k-as angry. "Why can't ye mind yer iwn business? Now, I got ter go an' ;eep Keegan waiting while I promote hat blame country jay." Mickey grinned. He pulled a sheet if "copy" paper out of his pocket and, earing it to bits, dropped the pieces on he sidewalk. "What ye litterin' up the streets vith?" the chief demanded, still in his age. "The notes for a good story." "I'd like?say, I'd like to have you )ulled for that," the chief said, but dickey went off, grinning, across the itreet, so the "big fellow" turned to go o his office. "But you bet I'll send him to Goat Worth Crowing Comparison of results and pr and after using Pram Pkgs. 25c, 50c, 60c, 91.00; 25 lb. pai the great tonic and conditioner? is sure 1 permanent friend of all Pratt$ Products. Satisfaction Guaranteed or Moi Pratts Lice Killer. Powder?25c a Spring rieces?iiy. Sure death toalldangeri Kef use substitutes; insist on Pratts. ?{ Get Pratt* 160 page Poullru Be Sold and guaranteed by CARROLL ville," he called back; and he did. He made McKeever a roundsman, and assigned him to a precinct where, as he put it to Mickey, "There ain't no water to make rescues out of an' no tenements to burn." But Mickey was satisfled, and so was McKeever. McKeever wasn't even surprised. He took his promotion as a matter of course. The "Roosevelt cop" doesn't understand it to this day. Memories of Long Ago. In a certain New England home, even so late as forty years ago, all the sugar used was made on the farm from maple sap. The starch was strained from boiled potatoes, the saleratus was scraped, as pearly ash (hence called "pear-ash") from burned wood. The blankets and mc* of *' 1 orn rm ^nfo me wuuien uuit*r UIIU unuci buhiicu^ were spun and woven from wool raised on the place. The big llax-patch supplied the linen, slowly and laboriously hetchelled and finally manufactured into wonderful patterns. The meat eaten was all home-raised. The pork and beef were salted, dried, pickled or chopped into sausage by the women of the family. All of their vegetables and fruit grew in their gardens and orchards, and were transformed in their own busy kitchen into jellies, marmalades, preserves, and pickles, and there was always a barrel of cider-apple sauce on a stout shelf near the back door. A tailoress came to the house occasionally to cut and partly make the men's clothes (which lasted, so to speak, forever), but the women cut and made their own clothes. Palm-leaf hats were worn around the farm by both men and women, who turned an honest penny by braiding them also for mer chants in the nearest large town. The stockings were all knit at home. "We don't have to get much of anything from the store but tea and coffee," said the bent and wrinkled, but soft-voiced and sweet-faced farmer's wife to me one day, and "half the time we drink some kind of herb tea. We like it first rate." This was "woman's work" in the olden time. Now it is done almost entirely In the factories?yet still it has to be done by women. That is the secret of the sincere part of the feminist movement.?Lesslie's Weekly. Marriageable Ages.?So-called marriageable ages vary very widely in different countries. In Austria a "man" and "woman" are supposed to be capable of marrying and conducting a home of their own from the age of 14. In Germany the age must be at least 18 years. In France the man must be 18 and the woman 14, and In Belgium the same. In Spain the husband must have passed his fourteenth year, and the woman her twelfth. In Hungary, for Roman Catholics, the man must be 14 vears and the woman 12: for Protes tants the man must be 18 and the woman 15. In Greece the man must be at least 14 summers and the woman 12 In Portugal a boy of 14 Is considered marriageable and a woman of 12. In Russia and Saxony a youth must refrain from matrimony till he is 18 years and the woman until she is 16?London Globe. The Key To Health? is pure blood. Get the blood pure and all the Ills that follow from impoverished or tainted blood, such as indigestion. nervous dyspepsia, gastritis, rheumatism, eczema, scrofula, etc., will disappear, leaving the body healthy and the mind clear. MRS. JOE PERSON'S REMEDY is a real blood "purifier." according to hundreds of testimonials from people who have used it successfully during the last forty years. It puts the blood right, then builds the body back into health and energy. "For eieht or ten years I was sub Ject to severe attacks of eczema. Mrs. Joe Person's Remedy made a perfect cure of me," writes Mrs. J. H. Wilkins of Bessemer City, N. C. Your druggist should have it. If he hasn't, send us his name and one dollar for a large bottle. REMEDY SALES CORPORATION Charlotte, X. C. : Mrs. Joe Person's Wash should | be used in connection with the Remedy for the cure of sores and the relief of inflamed and congested surfaces. It is especially valuable for women, and should alj ways be used for ulcerations. FOR SALE 136 Acres?The Wells Place, the property of R. N. Plaxco, a very fine farm. High state of cultivation. I have had many inquiries about the County Home Land*?First Tract: 90 acres, on Rock Hill road; also 137 acres join J. L. Moss. I must sell this land At Once. .If You want it, see Me at Once?It is a good money maker. County Home Farm?90 Acres, Joining T. L. Carroll, $25.00 Acre. 140 Acres?Joining R. R. Love, J. L. Moss and others. Magnificent bottom land in this tract. See me. Cottage Home?Of W. C. Miller, on Charlotte road, near Ancona Mill. 300 Acres?Property of D. A. Whlsonant, Joins J. W. Quinn and others Price $16.00 40 Acres?Property of John Barnett, Joining farm of J. R. Connolly and Wm. Harrison Est. lands. 100 Acres?Known as the Dorster place, about 1 1-2 miles from Philadelphia church and school. If sold during February, I will take the small sum of $20.00 an acre for it. 409 Acres?Near Lowryvllle, $25.00 per acre. I desire to say to my friends that I have property that I can cut up In small tracts and sell on long terms. The Quinn estate land?On King's Mt. road, adjoining Frank Riddle's Neil place and others, am willing to cut this into smaller farms to suit the purchaser. The residence of the late Dr. J. B. Allison, joining the new Presbyterian Manse. Can be cut into two beautiful building lots. The property of Dr. Mack White on King's Mountain Street, also 2 dwellings, property of Quinn Wallace, et al, on Kinr's Mountain Street. This property will be sold quickly and if you want it, see me. I have for sale three of the Finest Farms In York county, and they are very cheap at the price; to wit: The John Black?Henry Massey homestead. 000 Acres?The R. M. Anderson Farm. 410 Acres?Of the S. M. Jones-Ware Farm, about 4 miles from Rock Hill. Also 18 acres, and a nice cottage, beautifully located within the Incorporate limits of Yorkville. Read my list of Farms and send me some of fers. Two Go?d Houses?On King's Mountain Street. J. C. WILBORN About |a& to make you a Jg nd BOc. Also a BROTHERS. 5478. W permanent roofing |jl || Get Genasco, || j 9 made of Nature's g if everlasting water- jl pl@fia.scil, THE TRIMMD-IMMSMMT MM I Beatm is a sure and lasting ?\ protection against rrf: sun, rain, snow, heat I C and cold. It is won- Wk derfully e c o n o m i- H Come let us show wk you how attractive WILKERSON MER. Co. (Inc.)? HICKORY GROVE, S. C. fjgj McGILL BROS., HASTOC SCHOOL FOR BOYS THE school with an unparalleled record, select limited school; 40 day pupils, 10 boarding students; pupils 11 to 18 years; individual personal instruction, one man to every twelve boys. For Catalogue, address HUGH T, SHOCKLEY, 57. 3t. Spartanburg, S. C. IW Your orders for Commercial Stationery will receive prompt attention at The Enquirer office. Let us have your orders you want the Best. I Three-Quarters of a Centi the Training of Young A A time-seasoned institution offerin I of the intellect and the development I influences. Situated in a quiet colleg I life and atmosphere; influences highl; I tions unexcelled. Buildings equipped and arranged I in college work and administration. L young men. The Wylie Home, a h ing for young women, provides evei equipment and convenience. Twenty-) sports and exercises. Literary and science courses of cc B. A. and M. A. degrees. Library of Laboratories, Observatory, Fitting Schc Government based upon an appei self-respect. Free tuition to young lac Home. Expenses for year about $200 For Catalogue Addrt James Strong Moffatt, D. D., President Dae West, South Csrilms MEDICAL COLLEGE OF THE S CHARLES1 DEPARTMENT OF MEDI Owned and Control 86TII SESSION OPENS OCTOBEI Fine New Building ready for < vantageously located opposite Rop Hospitals in the South, where abui Hospital contains 218 beds. Practical work for Senior Stu< a Special Feature. Large and w< Schools. Department of Physiolog ton Museum. Nine full time teac Six graduated appointments each y For Catalogue, address: OSCAR W. SCHLKETER, II f Anderson College For Women Faculty of Christian men and women of experience. Courses leading to degree of A. B. and A. M. Diplomas in Music, Art and E: Science and Art. Equipment modem and convenient tennis, basket ball. Situation ideal for health and c For Catalogue . JAMES P. KINARD, P &N? FREE! During the Nex and Until Fui We will give on Saturday s A n'rlnrlr 0 "X V V1VTVU} V China Dinner (or particulars. The Yorkville 1 Of Importance t to the Farmer If you are a farmer we wish to Impress on you the many advantages as well as the convenience of doing business with this Bank. ^ Right now, at the commencement of * spring, is a good time to put your business on a systematic basis. After you have once used the check plan of paying all bills you will realize the risk of the haphazard loose-money-in-the-pocket method you are now a using. ~ This bank will be pleased to furnish you with a bank book and checks when you make your first deposit Bank of Hickory Grove HICKORY GROVE, 8. C. tirnftaainnal (Tarda ^ Geo. W. S. Hart Joe. E. Hart HART & HART * ATTORNEYS AT LAW Yorkvillo 8. C. Witherapoon Big., Second Floor, Front. 'Phone (Office) No. 58. D. E. Finley J. A. Marion ^ FINLEY i MARION ATTORNEYS AT LAW Opposite Court House Yorkville, 8. C. ^ Dr. B. G. BLACK, Surgeon Dentist. Office second floor of the New McNeel Building. At Clover Tuesday and Friday of each week. A JOHN R. HART ATTORNEY AT LAW * No. 3 Law Range YORKVILLK, 8. C. iry of insistent Ideals in I | den and Young Women H ig superior advantages for the training I of character under sound Christian I e town, educational and religious in I i y favorable to study. Health condi- I j to afford the maximum of efficiency I j College Home accommodates seventy I andsome new build- Hj _ sere campus; out-door QGHH ^E| illegiate standard; jjBKgft ;T 10,000 volumes; si to honor and lies in Wylie f J ITATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA X>N, S. C. CINE AND PHARMACY lied by tlie State. t 1, 1914, CLOSES JUNE 3. 1915 jccupancy October 1st, 1914. Ad?er Hospital, one of the largest idant clinical material is offered. ients in Medicine and Pharmacy ? eu-equippea i^aooraiury in oom y In affiliation with the Charlesffiers in Laboratory Eranches. ear in medicine. Registrar, Charleston, S. C. I ^ spression. Courses in Domestic ; t, 82 acre campus. Gymnasium, I ^ omfort. e Address, , l n a _ j C P J ii. l*., miuci sun, u. vj. ? FREE! 1 ' I t Few Weeks "ther Notice, away FREE ilfavnAAne of IIUUIIO Ul ne 42-Piece Set. Ask I S bargain House