Jjiumoroua department. A Question of Highest Privilege.?Congressman MeKenzie, of Kentucky, a few sessions ago, introduced a bill for a public building at Owensboro, the principal town in his district, but made very little progress. One day, in dire extremity, Mr. MeKenzie arose addressed the chair. "For what purpose does the gentleman rise ?" inquired the cautious speaker. "On a matter of the highest privilege," was the reply. "The gentlemen will state it," said the speaker." "Is not the right of a member to his seat a question of highest privilege?" persisted Mr. MeKenzie. "Most assuredly," was the response. "Well," said the Kentucky congressman, "I introduced some time ago a hill to erect a Federal court-house and post-office at Owensboro, in my district. That bill was considered in the committee and bas been reported back to the bouse, and is now on the calendar. Mr. Speaker," exclaimed the distressed member with great earnestness, "I ask that the bill be now takeD from the calendar and passed, for if it is not, I am sure that the member from the Second district of Kentucky will lose bis seat." The house roared with laughter, but the speaker observed that the privilege was not one of that peculiar character which demanded recognition. Mr. McKenzie lost his seat. A Prudent Man.?A Connecticut constable, whose character being under scrutiny, Deacon Solomon Wakely was inquired of about him. "Deacon Wakely," said the questioner, "do you think Mr. Hitchcock is a dishonest man ?" "Oh, no, sir; not by any means," he answered, very promptly. "Well, do you think be is a mean man ?" "Well, with regard to that," said the deacon, a little more deliberately, "I may say that I don't really think he's a mean man; I've sometimes thought he was what you might call a keerful man?a prudent man, so to to speak." "What do you mean by a prudent man ?" "Well, I mean this: That at one time he bad an execution for four dollars agin the old Widder Witter back here, and he went up to her house and levied onto a flock of ducks; and he chased them ducks one at a time 'bout and round the barn pooty much all day, and every time he ketched a duck he'd set right down and wring his neck, an* charge mileage; an' his UJlICtt^O 11JUUUICU IV UJU1V u Nothin' mean 'bout it, as I know of; but I always thought after that that Mr. Hitchcock was an allfired prudent man." His Report.?A railroad man tells the following incident, which he swears by the air brake is true : Branagin, the conductor of a freight train, was very careful to telegraph the superintendent about any accidents or delays that overtook him when out on the road. The superintendent got tired of these kind of long continued stories of misfortune, which were wearing out the telegraph wires, and he called Branagin up on the carpet and told him to let up ; no more fourpage messages every time he pulled out a draft iron, or stopped to pack a hot box. He was notified to make things short. The next trip out Branagin got two box cars off the track. After he got them back on and the train was coupled to go, he went into the telegraph office to send his report. Just as he was about to start out on an elongated account of the accident, the superinfonHpnt.'s nrders flashed across his mind, and, grabbing up the pen be wrote: "Two cars off and on agin ; gone agin. Branagin." Geography In South America.? Boston is a noble and famous city, but there are millions of people in the world who have never beard of it. Mr. N. H. Bishop, a boy of 17 or 18 years, was traveling across the pampas of South America in company with some natives of the Argentine Republic. Having said, perhaps a little proudly, that he was from Boston, he afterward heard this conversation between two of bis fellow-travelers : "Where is Bostron?" asked one. "Bostron is in France, to be sure," replied the otter. "That cannot be. France is a great way off, and has not got any moon ; and the gringo told me the other night that there is a moon in Bostron, and North America is in the same place." "Fool?" exclaimed Number One. "North America is in England, the country where the gringoes live that tried to take Buenos Ayres." As It Looked to Him.?People who have seen cottonwood lumber warp when it came from the saw, can appreciate a story Geue Ware tells about the first sawmill erected at Fort Scott. After the first day's sawing the owner of the mill came down from town, where he had been celebrating the "opening" with the boys. He looked over the crooked boards scattered about the yard for a moment, and inquired, with drunken gravity, "Boysh (hie), has that lumber been measured yet?" "It has not," replied the foreroan of the mill. "Well, when it gets still, take a (hie) corkscrew and measure it." AST" Brawn (to dentist)?I won't pay anything extra for gas. Just yank the tooth out, even if it does hurt a little. "I must say you are very plucky. Just let me see the tooth." "Oh, I haven't got any toothache; it's Mrs. Brawn. She'll be here in a minute." Wayside dktherings. J@r The other fellow's breath will tell you why your wife hates rum. No foreigner is allowed to be 48 hours on Turkish territory without a pass. t&F He that knows how to made much of little generally has something to spare. t&T One of the most uncommon things is the ability to do common things well. I6T When ignorance happens to make a good guess, some folks called it prophesy. #?" Tf (ho man who writes anonv mous letters has never stolen sheep, it is probably the fault of the sheep. 1^" It is known that there were men practicing the profession of dentistry in Egypt at least five thousand years ago. I?" Calcutta is one of the educational centres of the world. It has 20 colleges, with 3,000 students, and 40 high schools, with 20,000 students. The power which moves the world is hope. An anxious, doubtful, timid man can accomplish little. Fear unnerves us; hope inspires us. Weyler seems to be pursuing the same course in Cuba that Artemus Ward did in his menagerie. When he conciliates, he does it with a club. I@T There are two classes of disappointed lovers: Those who are disappointed before marriage, and the more unhappy who are disappointed after it. tSF Large fire losses are coming on to the insurance companies with discouraging frequency, and there seems no hope that this year will see a destructive total as low as 1896. fQT Said a friend to a bookseller, "The book trade is affected, I suppose, by the general depression. What kind of books feel it most?" "Pocketbooks," was the laconic reply. Onn fif>inn xr?air an(TOrpatprl fnr W vug uvviug Tf?J celebrating Queen "Victoria's sixtieth anniversary is the emancipation of the 200,000 slaves kept in bondage in the British protectorate of Zanzibar. ti&T Teacher?Which animal is satisfied with the least amount of nourishment? Charlie?The moth. Teacher?The moth ! Ob, no, the moth is a most voracious animal. Charlie?But it only eats holes. J?" Of all the paupers in public institutions of Massachusetts, three out of every four, according to the bureau of statistics, were addicted to the use of liquor, and nearly one-half had intemperate parents. A Dutchess county, N. Y., man has brought suit for damages against a clergyman for baptizing his infant son and giving him a name that, he couldn't like. This should settle the question of "what in a name ?" SlSP An English paper claims that by use of the Roentgen rays it has been discovered that, in cases of asthma, the right half of the diaphragm stops work during the attack, leaving the left half to bear all the*exertion. S&" One of our city pastors, not a Universalist, in alluding to the future state, recently said : "Christ cannot be defeated. He came to redeem and save the world, and he will save it. Satan may be defeated, but Christ never." aST" What is claimed to be the most powerful locomotive in the world has just been completed at Liege. At a trial trip a speed of forty-six milts an hour was attained with a load of eighty trucks, each containing a dead weight of twelve tons. VST The eight-montbs-old leopard cub in the Central Park menagerie, New York, caught a big rat that ventured into its cage, and, after playing with it for an hour and a half, just like a cat, gave it a pat with its paw that finished it. VST A Maine country cat which for years bad lived in Portland, when taken back to its old rural home, went, as it had been used to do, at milking time to the cow sbed and sat upon its haunches to await a stream of milk fresh from the cow, as its master had foimerly taught it to do. The New York Times announces its discovery that the two longest words in English are disproportionableness and establisbmentarianism. But Shakspeare has "honorificabilitudinity," which has one letter more, though not likely to come into general use. W3T The island on which the Eddystone lighthouse stands lies nine miles ofi' the Cornish coast, and is supposed to he the smallest inhabited island on the globe. At low water it is 30 feet in diameter; at higbwater the lighthouse, whose diameter at the base is 28$ leet, completely covers it. It is inhabited by three persons. According to the figures prepared by Colonel Ainsworth of the war department, there are now 1,095,628 survivors of the war of the Rebelliou, who fought for a greater or less length of time, including deserters. It is estimated that in 1900 there will be 999,339; in 1925, 11,079; in 1940, 340; and that in 1945 all will have passed away. t&r it is asserted that the gulf of Mexico has risen one foot since 1850. With experts the question is as to whether it contains more water, or has the erosion of the great area draining into the gulf filled the bottom to the depth of one foot ? Possibly seismic action has much, if not all, to do with the change. J6T A water-tube jail is one of the latest achievements of Yankee ingenuity. It is no longer necessary to make the prison bars so heavy and so hard that cutting through them becomes very difficult; but, instead, they are made simply of pipes, forming part of a high-pressure water system. Should any of these pipes be severed the water would escape and quickly give warning of the break. Slie jjtory Seller. BILL AND THE WIDOW "Wife," said Ed Wilbur, one morn ing, as be sat stirring bis coffee will one band, holdiug a piece of plun cake with the other, and lookingacros the table into the bright eyes of hi neat little wife, "Wouldn't it be i good joke to get bachelor Bill Smiley to take Widow Watson to the sbov next week ?" "You can't do it Ed; he won't asl her, he's so awful shy. Why, he cam' by here the other morning when I wa hanging out some clothes, and looket over the fence and spoke; but whei I shook out a night-gown he blusher like a girl, and went away." "I think I can manage it," said Ed "but I'll have to lie just a little. Bui then it wouldn't be much harm unde the circumstances, for I know she like him, and he don't dislike her ; but, a you say, he's so shy. I'll just go ove to bis place to borrow some bags o him, and if I don't bag him before come back, don't kiss mo for a week Nellie." So saying Ed started, and while hi is crossing the field we will take i glance at Bill Smiley. He was rathe a good-looking fellow, though bis hai and whiskers showed some gray. Hi wore a set of artificial teeth. Even one said be was a good soul, and so hi was. He had as good a hundred-acri farm as any in Norwich, with a nev house and everything comfortable, an< if he wanted a wife, many a girl woulc have jumped at the chance. But Bil was so bashful?always was?anc when Susan Berrybottle, whom he wa so sweet on, though he never sai( "boo" to her, got married to old Wat son, he just drew in his bead like i mud-turtle into his shell, aud then was no getting him out again, though it bad been noticed that since Susai had become a widow he had paid mor< attention to his clothes, and been verj regular in attendance at the churcl the fair widow attended. But heri comes Ed Wilbur. "Good-morning, Mr. Smiley." "Good morning, Mr. Wilbur; what'i the news your way ?" "Oh, nothing particular, that I know of," said Ed, "only the show thai Utiai.iiKnd? iafallririor nhnilt. and everv J D 1 ? body and bis girl is goiag to. I was over to old Sackrider's last night, anc I see bis son Gus has got a new buggy ai)d was scrubbing up his harness, anc he's got that white-faced colt of his as slick as a seal. I understand he thinks of taking the Widow Watsor to the show. He's been hanging around there a good deal of late, bu I'd just like to cut him out, I would Susan is a nice little woman, aud de serves a better man than that young pup of a fellow, though I would not blame her much either if she takei him, for she must be dreadful lone some; and then she has to let bei farm out on shares, and it isn't hal worked, and no one else seems tc have the spunk to speak up to her By jingo! if I were a single man I'c show a trick or two." So saying, Ed borrowed some bag: and started around the corner of tb< barn, where he had left Bill sweeping and put his ear. to a knot hole anc listened, knowing the bachelor bad t naoit 01 CalKlDg CO nimseil Wiieii uu.y thing worried him. "Confound that young Sackrider!' said Bill; "what business has he there I'd like to know ? Got a new buggy has he? Well, so have I, and a new harness, too! atid his horse ean't gel in sight of mine, and I declare I havt half a mind to?yes, I'll go this verj night and ask her to go to the show with me. I'll show Ed Wilbur that 1 ain't such a calf as he thinks I am, i I did let old Watson get the start o me in the first place." Ed could scarcely help laughing out right, but he hastily bitched the bag! on bis shoulder, and, with a low chuckle at his success, started hora( to tell the news to Nellie; and aboul 5 o'clock that evening they saw Bill go by with his horse and buggy on his way to the widow's. He jogged along quietly, thinking of the old singing school days, and what a pretty girl Susan was then and wondering inwardly if he would have more courage now to talk to her until at a distance of about a milt | from her house he came to a bridgeover a creek?and it so happened that just as he reached the middle of the I bridge he gave a tremendous sneeze, and blew bis teeth out of his mouth, and clear over the dashboard, and striking on the planks, they rolled over the side of the bridge, and then dropped into four feet of water. Words cannot do justice to poor Bill, or paiut the expression of his face as he sat there, completely dumbfounded at this startling piece of ifj luttk. After a while he stepped out oi bis buggy, and settling down on bis bands and knees, he looked into the water. "Yes, there they were," at the bottom, with a crowd of little fishes rubbing their noses against them, and Bill wished to goodness that his nose was as close for one second. His beautiful teeth that had cost him so much, and the show coming on, and not time to get another set, aud the widow and young Sackrider! Well, he must try and get them somehow, and no time to lose, for some one might come along and ask him what he was fooling around there for. He had no notion of spoiling his good clothes by wading in with them on, and besides, if he did that, he could not go to the widow's that night; sc he took a look up and down the road to see thut no one was in sight, and then quickly undressed himself, laying his clothes in the buggy to keep them clean. Then he ran around to the bank and waded into the almost icycold water, but his teeth did not chatter in his head?he only wished they could. Quietly he waded along so as not to stir up the mud, aud when he got to the right spot he dropped under the wa: ter, and came up with his teeth in bis hand, and replaced them in his mouth. ' But hark ! what noise is that? A wagon and a little dog barking with all . his might, and his horse is starting, i. "Whoa 1 whoa 1 Stop, you brute, you, i stop!" But stop he would not, but s went off at a spanking pace, with the s unfortunate bachelor after him, and j the little dog yelping after the bachef lor. Bill was certainly in capital runv ning costume, but though he strained every nerve, he could not touch the t buggy, or reach the lines, that were e dragging on the ground, s After a time his plug hat shook off 1 the seat, and the bind wheel went over i it, making it as flat as a pancake. ? 11 4..L-J ?. U ex ft ex y* 1 Dill Huawiieu 11/ aa uo tau, auu, an.*,. jamming his fist into it, stuck it, all ; dusty and crumpled, on his head. And t, now he saw the widow's house on the r bill, and what, oh! what will he do? s Then his coat fell out; he slipped it s on, and then, making a desperate r spurt, he clutched the back of the seat f and scrambled in, and pulling the bufI falo robe over his legs, stuffed the oth, er things beneath. Now, the horse happened to be one e that he got from Squire More, and he el got it from the widow, and he took it r into his head (o stop at the gate, which r Bill bad no power to preyent, as he e had not possession of the reins; bef sides, he was too busy buttening his s coat up to the chin to think of doing i much else. v The widow heard the rattle of 1 wheels, and looked out, and seeing 1 that it was Smiley, and that he did 1 not offer to get out, she went to the 1 gate to see what he wanted, and there 3 she stood chatting, with her white 1 arms on the top of the gate, and her face right toward him, while the cold l chills ran down bis shirtless back clear i to his bare feet beneath the buffalo i robe, and the water from his hair and i dust from his hat had combined to i make some nice little streams of mpd r that came trickling down bis face. ) She asked him to come in. No, he i was in a hurry, be said. Still he did not offer to go. He did not like to ask her to pick up his reins for him, be3 cause he did not know what excuse to make for not doing it himself. Then - i i b t U:_ ' ue looxen aowo iue ruuu ucuiuu mui, t- and saw a wbite-faced horse coming, - and at once surmised that it was that ? of Gus Sackrider. He resolved to do 1 or die, and hurriedly told his errand. , The widow would be delighted to go, I of course she would. But wouldn't i he come in ? No, he was in a hurry, i he said; had to go to Mr. Green's ) place. ; "Oh 1" said the widow, "you're got ing to Green's, are you ? Why I was . just going there myself, to get one ot the girls to help me quilt more. Jusf I wait a second, while I get my bonnet t and shawl, and I'll ride with you." J And away she skipped." "Thunder and lightning!" said Bill, r "what a scrape!" and he hastily f clutched his pants from between his ) feet, and was preparing to wriggle . into them, when a light wagon, drawn 1 by the white-faced horse, driven by a boy, came along and stopped beside 3 him. 3 The boy held up a pair of boots in , one hand, and a pair of socks in the I other, and, just as the widow reached l the gate again, he said : "Here's your boots and socks, Mr. Smiley, that you left on the bridge ' when you went in swimming." a . ? _ _ -? s J T?*ll . I , "You're misraaen, sum dih; -ujcy , are not miDe." t "Why," said the boy, "ain't you t the mau that had the race after the * horse just now ?" ' "No, sir, I am not. You had better i go on about your business." [ Bill sighed at the loss of his good f Sunday boots, and, turning to the f widow, said : "Just pick up the lines, will you, please? This brute of a horse is for8 ever switching them out of my ' bands. 5 The widow complied, and then he I pulled one corner of the robe cautiousI ly down, and she got in. J "What a lovely eveuiug !" said she ; "aud so warm don't think we need ; the robe over us, do we?" I You see she bad on a uice dress and , a pair of new gaiter, aud she wanted I to show them. , "Oh, my?" said Bill, earnestly, ! "you'll find it chilly riding ; I wouldn't have you catch cold for the world." ; She was pleased at his tender care s for her health, and contented herself , with sticking one of her little feet out. , with a long silk necktie over the end of it. I "What is that, Mr. Smiley, a necktie?" "Yes," said he; "I bought it the ' other day, and I must have left it in i the buggy. Never mind it." "But," said she, "it was so care! lessand, stooping over, she made a f motion to stuff it in between them, i Bill felt her hand going down, and, i making a dive after it, clutched it in > his, and held it bard and fast. Then they went on quite a distance, be still holding her soft little hand in niKot oViniilr? rl n > Ills, UUU ?UIIUC1 i Uft tTUOv u? auvuiu uw i when they got to Green's, and she i wondering why he did not say something nice to her as well as squeeze i her hand, and why his coat was but, toned up so tight on such a warm , evening, and what made his face and i bat so dirty, until, as they were going , down a little, one of the traces became i unhitch, and they had to stop. "Oh, murder!" said Bill: "what , next ?" I "What is the matter, Mr. Smiley?" i said the widow, with a start that came I near jerkiug the robe off his knees. I "One of the traces is off," said he. ; "Well, why don't you get out and i put it on ?" s "I can't," said Bill; "I've got?that is, I haven't got?oh dear, I'm sick ! what shall I do?" "Why, Willie," said she, teuderly, "what is the matter? Do tell me;" ? and she gave his hand a little squeeze, and looking into his pale face, she thought he was going to faint, so she got out her smelling-bottle with her left hand, and, pulling the stopper out with her teeth, she stuck it to his nose. Bill was just taking in breath for a mighty sigh, and the pungent odor made him throw hack his head so far that he lost his balance, and went over the low-backed buggy. The little woman gave a little scream as his bare feet flew past her head, and, covering her face with her hands, gave way to tears or smiles?it is hard to tell which. Bill was "right side up" in a moment, and was leaning over the back of tbe seat, humbly apologizing and explaining, when Ed Wilbur, with bis wife and baby, drove up behind and stopped. Poor Bill felt that he would rather have been shot than have Ed Wilbur catch him in such a scrape, but there was no help for it now, so he called Ed to him and whispered in his ear. Ed was like to burst with suppressed laughter, but he beckoned to his wife to draw up, and, after saying something to her, he slipped the widow out of Bill's buggy and into his, and tbe two women went on, leaving the two men behind. Bill lost no time in arranging his toilet as well as he could, and then, with great persuasion, Ed got him to go home with him, and, bunting up slippers and socks, and getting him washed and combed, had him quite Dresentable when tbe ladies arrived. I need not tell bow the story was all wormed out of bashful Bill, and how they all laughed as they sat around the teatable that night, but will conclude by saying that they weDt to the show together, and Bill has no fear of Gus Sackrider now. This is thfe story about Bill and the widow just as I had it from Ed Wilbur, and if there is anything unsatisfactory about it, ask bim. mi ^AkiN" POWDER Absolutely Pure i THE STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA, County of York. ?/v *1 />!AirunV T> T T3 A O IiN ltifi tuuzvi ur tuAAUii rtia/io? Ex Parte, R. G. Mann, In Re. D. C. An-, derson, Plaintiff, against Jane Brown et. al., Defendants.?Notice. BY virtue of an order in the above entitled cause, issued out of the court of common pleas for Yo.rk county on the 3d day of April, 1897, notice is hereby given that there is now in my hands the sum of THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FIVE AND 69-100 DOLLARS, being balance remaining undivided from the proceeds of the sale of the real estate of WM. ANDERSON, deceased, and that the parties having an interest in the same are hereby required to present and prove their claim to the same, or any part thereof, before me by, the 21ST DAY OF JUNE, 1897, or bo barred. By divers decrees entered in the said cause the following named persons have been determined to be the heirs at law of the said Win. Anderson, deceased, and were entitled to share in the original distribution as follows, to wit: Jane Brown, one-fifth part: Nancy Anderson, one-fifth part; the heirs of Robert Anderson, one-fifth part among them ; the heirs of Thos. Anderson, one-fifth part among them ; Robt ert G. and Jane Mann, one-fifth parbetween them. The parties who have not as yet received their full distributive share of said moneys, are Robert G. and Jane Mann, and the heirs of Thos. Anderson, they being John Anderson and Mrs. Kendrick. W. BROWN WYLIE, Clerk of Court of Common Pleas. , W. W. Lewis, Attorney for Petitioner. April 24 33 s5t j MM k SBflTEffESTERfRT G. W. F. HARPER, President. Schedules in Effect from and After 1 Febrnary 7,1896. j CENTRAL TIME STANDARD. QOiyg WORTH. | No 10. I No 60T ' Leav e Cheste. I 6 10 ami 8 30am Leave Lowrysvilie : 6 36am' 905am Leave McConnellsvllle' 654am I 9 89am Leave Guthrlesvllle .... 7 02 am 8 56 am Leave Yorkvllle 7422am; 10 50am > Leave Clover I 7 52 a m 11 .8 am Leave Gastonla I 8 27am loOpm i Leave Llncolnton 8 45 a m 3 16 pm i Leave Newton : 10 23 a m 4 4o pm ( Leave Hickory i 11 10 am 1 6 15 pm , Arrive Lenoir 12 17 pm 8 00 pm J QOINQ SOUTH. | No. 9. | No 61. Leave Lenoir 3 30 pm 6 30 am , Leave Hickory 4 34 p m 8 18 am Leave Newton 5 14 pm 9 10 am Leave Llncolnton 6 00pm 10 40am Leave Gastonla 6 57pm 100pm ] Leave Clover 7 37 p m 2 02 pm Leave Yorkvllle 8 06 pm t 3 10 pm Leave Guthrlesvllle ...: 8 29 pm 3 40 pm ? Leave McConnellsvllle 8 38pm, 3 55 pm Leave Lowrysville i 900pm, 4 25pm Arrive Chester 9 32 pm 5 10 pm ^ Trains Nos. 9 and 10 are first class, and ? run daily except Sunday. Trains Nos. 60 and 61 carry passengers and also run daily except Sunday. There is good connection at Chester with the G. C. & N. 1 and the C. C.