tumorous department. TROUBLES OP A BACKWARD LOVER. Si9ter Em came into the kitchen &Dd exclaimed excitedly: "Oh, Matilda, Joe is going to ask pa, for me, today." "Humph !" said I, for I never lose a chance to 9nub her, for she is always sneering at me for being an old maid. Now I am all practicability and rush and hurry, and moving from morning till night; my hands are big and red and rough; I am stiff1 and long and angular; all the graces of my girlhood have been scrubbed, washed and ironed out of me. But Em's different. She is one of the lolling, languishing kind. She can eiinper" and giggle, and "Ob, don't Jobn-ah," in a "Oh do John-ah" tone of voice, and she has had beaux without number ever since she was born. After she had been deluged with ne all na t inn ?11 ipq fihft C.ftllffht 1UVCIO VI ail ~ 0 a real Yankee, not oi.e of the sharp, driving, money-making kind, but a gentle, soft-headed, tender-hearted fellow. He never foiled to put off tomorrow what ought to be done today. Well, as I started out to say, Em had announced that Joe was going to ask for her, and I had "humpbed" in my most incredulous style; for during the last five years Joe had had periodical spasms of courage. Full nineteen hundred times he had made up his mind t( ask pa for Em, and then begged off. I could never understand why it wa* 3uch a bugbear, for pa would have been perfectly delighted to give her away, for she has always been quite a bill of expense, to him. After a few days Em would prod him to the verge of distraction. Then he would brace up again and promise to do it, but it always ended in his postponing it indefinitely. So I said "humph 1" as aggravatingly as possible. That made her furious. "You act as if you thought he wouldn't ask pai" At that moment Joe unluckily came into the kitchen. "Em, hadn't you juBt as soon wait until next Sunday ?" "No, I wouldn't," she cried, angrily. "But, Em, by that time I might get a raise in my salary." Poor fellow, he was only earning $15 a week, and it was the dream of his life to get a "raise." "Yes," Em answered bitterly, "a raise has been your excuse for the last four years; why don't you ask per mission to put it off until after the Nashville exposition ?" He evidently did not notice the cutting sarcasm of her voice, for he said, eagerly,? "Why, that's a good idea ; suppose we wait until then, so you can be at home to help your folks entertain your relations ?" Em was in such a rage that she almost cried, but instead she fairly screamed,? "Joe, do you want to marry me?" "Of course I do," he responded placidly, "or else I wouldn't come to see you." "Well, then, you must ask pa, for I am not going to get married without his consent." "But I am going to ask him." "When ?" "Now, see here, Em, do be reasonable ; he knows what I come here for, and, of course, he is willing, or he wouldn't let me come." "When are you going to ask pa ?" she repeated angrily. "Why?ah, I don't know?ah!" "Well, now, I'll tell you one thing, Joseph, that if you don't ask him today, I'll never, never marry you. "Ob, Em, don't be hard on me!" "You march up this minute, sir, and ask pa for me, or I'll never marry you !" and she rushed out of the room, flung open the piano and began to play so violently, that I thought every cord in the instrument would snap. Joe looked at me appealingly. "What do you think I had better do ?" "Go upstairs and see pa," I replied. "Do you suppose she'll feel better in a few minutes?" he inquired anxiously. "No, she is in dead earnest, and if you want her?" "I'll have to ask for her, I suppose," he answered, with a disconsolate sigh. I couldn't help feeling sorry for him, for he looked as dejected as if he were going to the stake. "It won't be very hard," I ventured to say. "Oh, it's a terrible thing to do." His lips grew white, the perspiration stood out on his forehead, and he was shaking from head to foot with a nervous chill. So he went upstairs, and was gone about five minutes, and they both came tearing out into the kitchen, where they danced, and embraced, and kissed each other like two mad creatures. She was so proud of him, and he was so glad he had the thing off his hands, that they nearly strangled each other. Then he had to tell her about 40 times how he felt when he went up stairs, and what pa said, how ma look-ed, and what they thought, and how they acted, and all about it, until I was forced to come to the conclusion if this is the Nineteeth century style of "asking pa," I am glad no one ever asked for me. IST1 The boys were looking at a pic4 oaUaaI norinp niViinli I lire a, 1U PUUUaj OVUUV* showed two South Sea Islanders rubbing noses, after the cordial manner of these natives when meeting a friend. "What are they doing?" asked Iiob. Arthur, who had heard something about the custom, quickly replied, "Oh, just scraping acquaintance." Aunty?I feel provoked to think that you and your mamma were in town the other day and went to the restaurant instead of coming to our house for dinner. Why didn't you come? Little Nephew?We was hungry. Waysule 6athcrinj)s. f6T One of the largest London hotels has 9,7-42 locks and keys. |VaS~ The queen has 60 pianos at Osborne, Windsor and Buckingham Palace. A good railway engine will! travel 1,000,000 miles before it wears out. B8T Owing to the dry, cold atmosphere, not a single infectious disease is known in Greenland. V3T Michigan produces one-fifth of the iron of this country, mining nine mill! AM 4 VN r-> r% VfAAt* I ilillliuu tuuo a j to? . About $2,000,000 worth of American whisky is annually sent abroad, most of it from Baltimore. B65"Amercan colleges received last year gifts of money and property amounting to $16,000,000. 46T It is said that people who drink a great deal of water have rheumatism less than the non-water d/inker. t8T The United States and Germany are the only great powers that have no postal savings banks. "What is it that causes the saltness of the ocean ?" asked a teacher. "It is the codfish," said a little girl. There is a movement in Colorado to erect a monument to the memory of Zebulon Pike, the first explorer of Pike's peak. 16T The tone of a piano is best when the instrument is not near a wall. An even temperature should be maintained in the room.. To prevent corrosion of collar buttons by contact with the neck, a recently patented button has the back made of cork. S6T The editor who was told that his last article was as clear as mud quite promptly replied, "Well, that covers the ground." I&" Spain's wretched showing in agricultural pursuits is said to be due to the use of primitive implements of the time of Julius Caesar. tST As early as the time of Alexan der 11 01 Scotland, a man wuu ivi weeds go to seed on a farm was declared to be the king's enemy. 16?" Before the great freeze in Florida the annual orange crop was from eight to .ten million boxeB. The estimate for this season is 70,000 boxes. t&~ Bread as a daily article of food is used by only about one-third of the 1,500,000,000 people that constitute the present population of the earth. An error of a thousandth part of an inch in astronomical records may mean a difference of 200,000,000,000 miles in the distance of a star. WaP* It is thought the output of the steel rail companies this year will be in the neighborhood of 2,000,000 tons, or fully three times the output of 1895. AST" Claus Spreckels is building a $6,000,000 house in San Francisco. In it there will be six bathrooms that will cost $50,000, no two of which will be alike. White-wine vinegar can be made by adding five gallons of rainwater to 10 pounds of mashed raisins, and letting it stand in a warm place for a month. 86?" Only 70 years have .elapsed since the first railway in the world was finished. During that comparatively brief period 400,000 miles have been constructed. ?6?" Allowing the horse to stand habitually upon a dry board floor often causes the horse's hoof to become brittle. A linseed meal poultice is the best remedy. 86T The man who comes to the station two minutes behind time, and sees the train scudding out at the other end, derives no satisfaction from the proverb, "Better late than never." VST When a man is no longer afraid, but is prepared to welcome whatever comes, because he sees in it the appointment of a loving Father, why then he is in a happy state. W3T Jack rabbits are so numerous in some parts of Colorado tMbt there is an annual "round-up" to exterminate the pests. At the round-up held the week before Christmas at Lamar 15,000 : rabbits were killed. AST Magistrate?I seem to know your face? Prisoner?Yus; we was boys together. "Nonsense!" "Yus, we was. We're both about the same age, so we must have bin boys together !" t@T A whale recently captured in arctic waters was found to have imbedded in its side a harpoon that belonged to a whaling vessel that had been out of service nearly half a century. t@T Exercise you patience for a while, and you will get practice," said the old physician to the young doctor, who had recently "put out his shingle." "Yes; but I don't get any patients to exercise," was the reply. 86T"An exchange says: "Kerosene will make teakettles shine as bright as new." "Yes," remarked another paper, "kerosene will do wonders; it will make a house shine so it can be seen tor miles, out it is areaaiuuy uesiruutive to paint." Tbe air so clear in the Arctic regions that conversation can be carried on easily by persons two miles apart. It has also been asserted on good authority that at Gibraltar the human voice has been distinctly heard at a distance of ten miles. A little 5-year-old boy bounded into the house, one day, and exclaimed, as he hung his hat up in the hall, "This is my home ! This is my home!" A lady said, "Willie, the bouse next door is just the same as this one. Suppose you should hang your hat up in that hall, wouldn't that be home as much as this?" "No, ma'am," said Willie, "it would not." "Why not ?" asked the lady, "What makes this house your home more than that one ?" "Because my mother lives here," said Willie. ?!tc ^tory WEBSTER AND BENTONT Peter Harvey, in his interesting reminiscenses of Webster, tells this : One day after dinner, as Mr. Webster was seated in his library, the servant announced *'Mr. Wilson, of St. Louis," and John Wilson came into the library. Mr. Webster at ouce arose and greeted him. Narrating the visit to me, he said : Mr. Wilson was a gentleman whom I had known more or less for a quarter of a century ; a lawyer of pretty extensive practice, with a good deal of talent: a man of verv violent prejudices and temper, who had spent most of his public life, after he had reached manhood, in violent opposition to Colonel Benton. It was not so much an opposition to Colonel Benton's Democracy as it was a personal feud, as bitter and malignant as any that ever existed between two men. It was notorious in St. Louis that when Colonel Benton went on the stump, John Wilson would always be there to meet him and to abuse him in the most virulent terms ; and then Mr. Benton would return the fire. I had not seen Wilson for a good many years, and only met him occasionally in court. He came to me now a broken man, prematurely old, with a wrecked fortune, and after some conversation, he said: "I am going to emigrate to California in my old age, Mr. Webster; I am poor; have a family ; and although it matters but little to me, for the short time that remains to me, if I am poor, yet there are those who are dear to me whose condition I might improve by going to a new country and trying to mend my fortunes. My object in calling on you is to trouble you for a letter to some one in California; merely to say that you know me to be a respectable person, worthy of confidence." Aftar fixnrfiMinp mv recrret that he r o f ci should feel obliged to emigrate to such a distance?for then it looked like a formidable undertaking to go to California?I asked him if he was fully determined. "Yes," he said, "I have made up my mind." Then I set about thinking-what I could do for him. I saw no way to give him assistance. I had no particular influence with the government at that time, and Anally I said : "I am sorry, Mr. Wilson, to say that, so far as I am aware, there is not a human being in California that I know. If I were to undertake to give you a letter to anyone in California, I should not know to whom to address it." "That makes no difference," said he ; "everybody knows you, and a certificate that you know me will be the most valuable testimonial I could have." "I will write one with great pleasure ; although you probably overrate the influence of my name in California, I want to give you something that will be of benefit to you. Let me see, Mr. Wilson. Colonel Benton almost owns California, and he coilld give you a letter to Fremont and others that would be of first-rate service to you." He looked me in the face, half astonished and half inquiringly, as much as to say, "Can it be possible that you are ignorant of the relations been Colonel Benton and myself?" "I understand what you mean ; I am perfectly aware of the past difficulties between you and Mr. Benton, and the 1 bitter personal hostility that has existed. But I want to say to you that 1 a great change has come over Colonel ] Benton since you knew him. His feelings and sentiments are softened. We are getting older. Our fiery hot blood is getting cooled and changed. 1 It is hardly worth while for men, while 1 they are getting near the maximum of human life, to indulge in these feeliugs 1 of enmity and ill will. It is a thing that we ought to rid ourselves of. Colonel Benton and I have been en- i gaged in a war of words, as you and i he have, and, up to two or three years ago, we went out of the same door for 1 years without saying as much as 'good 1 morning' to one another. Now I do j not know a man in the senate to whom I would go with more certainty of having a favor granted than to Colonel i Benton. He feels that age is coming ' upon bim, and he is reconciled to many J of his bitterest opponents." - "Is thy servant a dog," replied Wil- 1 son, "that he should do this thing and i that thing ? I would not have a letter ; from him, I would not speak to him, I 1 would not be beholden to him for a favor?not to save the life of every member of my family ! No, sir! The 1 thought of it makes me shudder. I < feel indignant at the mention of it. I take a letter from Mr. Benton ? I?" 1 "Stop, stop!" said I; "that is the 1 old man speaking in you. That is not 1 the spirit in which to indulge. I know how you feel." And while he was raving and pro testing and declaring, by all the saints in the calendar, his purpose to accept no fayorfrom Colonel Benton, I turned round to my desk and addressed a note to Benton, something like this : , "Dear sir, I am aware of the disputes, personal and political, which have taken place between yourself and the bearer of this note, Mr. John Wilson. But the gentleman is now old, and is going to California, and needs a recommendation. I know nobody in California to whom I could address a letter that would be of any service to him. You know everybody, and a letter from you would do him a great deal of good. I have assured Mr. Wilson that it will give you more pleasure to forgive and forget what has passed between you and him, and to give him a letter that will do him good, than it will him to receive it. I am going to persuade him to carry this note, and I know you will be glad to see him." Wilson got through protesting, and I read him the note. Then I said : "I want you to carry it to Benton." "I won't!" he replied. I coaxed,and scolded and reasoned, and brought every considerationdeath, eternity, and everything else? to bear, but it seemed of no use. Said I: "Wilson, you will regret it." After a while he got a little softened, and some tears flowed, and at last I made him promise rather reluctantly, that he would deliver the note at Colonel Benton's door, if he did not do any more. He told me afterward that * _:il It was tne ouieresi. pin lie ever swallowed. Colonel Benton's house was not far from mine. Wilson took the note, and, as he afterward told me, went up with trembling hands, put the note with his own card into the hand of the girl that came to the door, and ran away to bis lodgings. He bad been scarcely half an hour in his room, trembling to think what he bad done, when a note came from Colonel Benton saying he had received the card and note, and that Mrs. Benton and himself would have much pleasure in receiving Mr. Wilson at breakfast at 9 o'clock the next morning. They would wait breakfast for him, and no answer was expected. "The idea," said he to himself, "that I am to breakfast with Tom Beuton 1 John Wilson, what will people say, and what shall I say ? The thing is not to be thought of. And yet I must. I have delivered the note and sent my card. If I don't go now, it will be rude. I wish I had not taken it. It doesn't seem to me as if I could go and sit at the table. I lay awake," said he, afterward, to me, "that night, thinking of it, and in the morning I felt as a-man might feel who had had sentence of death passed upon him, and was called by the turnkey to get up for his breakfast. I rose, however, made my toilet, and, after hesitating a great deal, went to Colonel Benton's house. My hands trembled as I rang the door bell. Instead of the servant, Via nnlnncl Viimaolf oama tn f.hp dnnr He took me by both bands and said, 'Wilson, I am delighted to see you ; this is the happiest meeting I have had for 20 years. Give me your hand. Webster has done the kindest thing he ever did in bis life.' Leading me directly to the dining room, he presented me to Mrs. Benton, and we both sat down to breakfast. After inquiring about my family, he said, 'You and I, Wilson, have been quarreling on the stump for 25 years. We have been calling each other hard names, but really with no want of mutual respect or confidence. It has been a mere foolish fight, and let's wipe it out of mind. Everything that I have said about you I ask your pardon for.' Both cried a little, and I asked bis pardon, and we were good friends. We talked over old matters, and spent the morning till 12 o'clock in pleasant conversation. Nothing was said of the letter until I was departing. He turned to his desk, and said, 'I have prepared some letters for you to my son-in-law and other friends in California and he handed me nine sheets of foolscap. "It was not a letter, but an ukase? a command to 'every person to whom these presents shall come, greeting.' It was to the effect that whoever received them must give special attention to the wants of his particular friend, Colonel John Wilson, of St. T.nnie T^vArvfchinc was to eive wav to that. He put them into my bauds, aud I thanked him and left." Mr. Webster continued: "Colonel Benton afterward came to me, and said, 'VVeb9ter, that was the kindest thing you ever did. God bless you for sending John Wilson tome! That is one troublesome thing otf my mind. That was kind, Webster. Let us get those things off our mind as fast as we can. We have not much longer to stay; we have got pretty near the end ; we want to go into the presence of our Maker with as little enmity in our hearts as possible.' " South Carolina Elections.?The South Carolina elections of last fall and the election system of the state were considered today by the house committee on the election of a president and vice president, says a Washington dispatch of Thursday, to the New York World. A memorial signed by white business men of Charleston was read. It asserted that South Carolina wa3 without a Republican form of government and under a military despotism, and charged that the election law exempting former Confederate soldiers from payment of poll taxes was in violation of the fourteenth and fifteenth amendments to the constitution. Representative Wilson, of South Carolina, said that under decisions of the supreme court, congress could intervene only in case dual governments existed and congress was called upon to decide which was the lawful one, or in case violence ruled the state and no Republican form of government was maintained there. Mr. Murray, who introduced the resolution for an investigation, contended that the allegation of the memorial that a Republican form of gov i.~A ernment aid not exist wunau^u wugressional action. There were in South Carolina he said, 102,000 white and 132,000 colored men of voting age, yet 90,000 whites and 12,000 colored men were able to register under the new law. General Curtis, chairman of the committee, expressed the opinion that the only action which could be taken by congress would be on contested elections in the house. Former Congressman Small (colored), of South Carolina, contended that the constitution'of South Carolina was invalid because members of the constitutional convention had not taken an oath. Good Roads.?While only about 1,000 miles of good stone roadways were built.in the United States in 1896, it is a good beginning and the possibilities are that more will be built this! year. The people are becoming aroused to the great importance of good roads as an economic measure, and more attention will be devoted to them than ever before. The National Good Roads Parliament, which assembles in Nashville, Tenn.,in May, will increase activity in this great work. Good roads are a necessity for the farmer. A $1,000 WORD. Two Papers at the Price of One and a Chance at $1,000, Additional. The Third Missing Word Contest of The Atlanta Weekly Constitution, In Which $1,000 Will Be Distributed to Successful Contestants on the 1st of May. The Atlanta Weekly Constitution has inaugurated its third consecutive "missing word" contest, which began on the 1st of March and close on the 1st of Maysixty days. ' It publishes the cashier's receipt for the special deposit account of $1,000 to be paid to the person, or persons, who, in subscribing to The Weekly Constitution, names correctly the missing word in the following sentence: "The Right of ' Is the very essence of the constitution." The sentence is taken from a historical fiublication, and the sentiment to which t gives expression is that of an eminent writer. By special arrangement with The Weekly Constitution, that great paper and The Enquirer can be obtained for one S?ar at almost the price of one paper, ot only that: but under our arrangement with Tne Weekly Constitution every person who takes advantage of this clubbing proposition, subscribing for both papers, will be entitled to a guess at tbn mioaSntv urAvrl A 11 nliibKinrr anhanrin tions should be sent to The Enquirer with each subscriber's guess at the missing word plainly written. The guess and the name and address of each subscriber will be forwarded by us to The Constitution. The Constitution's first "missing word contest" closed on the ] it of January, and but one person, Mr. M. L. Brittain, a hardworking school teacher, guessed the missing word, receiving therefor a check for 81,000. Its second contest closed on the 1st of March, and The Weekly Constitution of Monday, March 8tb, will contain the announcement of the awards in which 81,000 in cash is to be distributed among the successful guessers in that contest. The readers of The Enquirer who subscribe jointly to it and to The Weekly Constitution have free access into the third contest, just opened; and it may be that some of them will get the 81,000 to be distributed on the 1st of May. The only condition of the contest is that every guesser must be a subscriber ; and taking advantage of. The Constiution's offer we present this opportunity to all who wish to subscribe to ooth papers. Every person should have bis county paper and one great general newspaper; and The Weekly Constitution, with a circulation of 156,000, occupies the unique distinction of being the the greatest American weekly newspaper. 8&* THE ENQUIRER and The Constitution will be furnished one year for $2.50. OBIfl RIVER AND CHMLESTOI Rl TIME TABLE of the Ohio River and Charleston Railway company, to take effect Monday, January 4tb, at 8.00 a. m. STANDARD EASTERN TIME. GOING SOUTH No. 12. | Leave Marlon 1 80 pm; Leave Rutherfordton 3 05 pm Leave Forest City - 3 35 pm i Leave Henrietta 4 00pm| Leave Mooresboro 4 15 pm i Leave Shelby 5 30 pm Leave Patterson Springs.. 6 45 pm, Leave Earls 5 o5p.m Arrive at Blacksburg 6 10 pm! ? No. 32. | No. 34. ~ Dally Daily Except Except Sunday. Sunday. Leave Biacksburg 8 80 am 8 40 am Leave Smyrna 8 50 am 9 05 am Leave Hickory Grove 9 05 am 9 25 am Leave Sharon 9 20 am 8 50 am Leave Yorkvllle 9 35 am 10 20 am Leave Tirzah 9 47 am 0 45 am Leave Newport 9 51 am 10 55 am Leave Rock Hill 11 00 am| 12 55 pm Leave Leslies 11 13 am 1 15 pn. Leave Catawba Junction.. 11 30 am 1 50 pm Leave Lancaster 12 05 pm 3 55 pm Leave Kershaw 12 45 pm 5 30 pm Arrive at Camden 1 30 pm 6 50 pm GOING "NORTH. | No. 33. | No. 35, ~~~\ Dally Dally Except Except I Sunday. Sunday. Leave Camden 2 30 pm 8 30am I^ave Kershaw 3 lo pm 10 45 am Leave Lancaster 3 55 pm 12 05P r Th?a4I /vn A' OA rvtn I 1 Hi nm ueave uitLttwutt JUWUUU i t"'" t? Leave Leslies 4 38 pm! 2 00 pm Leave Rock Hill 4 54 pm1 4 00 pm Leave Newport 5 09 pm 4 20 pm Leave Tlrzah 5 15 pm; 4 40 pm Leave Yorkvllle 5 30 pm 5 40 pm Leave Sharon 5 45 pm. 6 05 pm Leave Hickory Grove.... 6 00 pm 6 30 pm Leave Smyrna 6 10 pm 6 40 pm Arrive at Blacksbure 6 30 pm 7 10 pm No. 11. | Leave Blacksburg 8 00 am Iieave Earls 8 20 am Leave Patterson Springs 8 30 am Leave Shelby fl 10 am Leave Mooresboro 9 50 am Leave Henrietta 10 00 am Leave Forest City 10 20 am Leave Rutherfordton 10 .50 am Arrive at Marlon 12 20 pm ' CONNECTIONS. No. 32 has connection with Southern Railway at Rock Hill, and the S. A. L. at Catawba Junction. Nos. 34 and 35 will carry passengers. Nos. 11 and 12 have connection at Marion with Southern Railway. At Roddeys, Old Point, King's Creek and London, trains stop only on signal. S. B. LUMPKIN, G. P. A. A. TRIPP, Superintendent. SAM'L HUNT. General Manager. S. W. WATSON. PHOTOGRAPHER, Cleveland Avenue, Yorkvllle, 8. C. Photography in ail the latest styles of the art. Special attention given to outdoor work. My gallery is thoroughly aud comfortably furnished with all the latest improvements. Terms reasonable and strictly cash. S. W .WATSON. CLUB FOR THE ENQUIRER. I AM engaged in making a club of subscribers for THE ENQUIRER. Persons who reside on the mail route from Yorkville, by way of Zadok, Bethany, Clark's Fork, Carp, etc., are informed LI1HL x uiivu intiuw arits.ii^cmc; partners in business under the firm name of Hart