Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, December 06, 1895, Image 1
ISSUED TWIOE-A-WEEK?WEDNESDAY A.TJD FRIDAY.
l. k. grist & sons, Publishers. } % jfantil]) Jfea'spger: |for "'I jproMtotion o); the political, Social, Agricultural ana ?ommet;cial Interests of the South. j TERs,iw;copv! Bra: cks4nce'
VOLUME 41. YORKVILLE, S. C., FRIDAY, DECEMBER (>, 1895. NUMBER 85.
FROM TH
BY CAPTAIN C
Copyright, 18M, by the J. B. Llppincott Co.
CHAPTER X.
? Perhaps it was as well for all parties
that Frank Armitage concluded that he
must have another whiff of tobacco that
night as an incentive to the "think" he
had promised himself. He had strolled
through the park to the grove of trees
out on the point and seated himself in
the shadows. Here his reflections were
speedily interrupted by the animated
flirtations of a few couples, who, tiring
of the dance, canie out into the coolness
of the night and the seclusion of the
grove, wiicre their murmured words
and 6oft laughter soon gave the captain's
nerves a strain they could not bear. He
broke cover and betook himself to the
very edge of the stone retaining wall out
on the point.
He wanted to think calmly and dispassionately.
He meant to weigh all he
had read and heard and form his estimate
of the gravity of the case before
going to bed. He meant to be impartial,
to judge her as he would judge any other
woman so compromised, but for the
life of him he could not. He bore with
him the mute image of her lovely face,
with its clear, truthful, trustful dark
eyes. He saw her as she stood before
him on the little porch when they shook
hands on their laughing?or his laughing?compact,
for she would not laugh.
How perfect she was I Her radiant
beauty, her uplifted eyes, so full of
their self reproach and resrret at the
speech she had made at his expense!
How exquisite was the grace of her
slender, rounded form as, she stood
there before him, one slim hand half
shyly extended to meet the cordial clasp
^ of bis own! He wanted to judge and
be just, but that image dismayed him.
How could he look on this picture and
then on that, the one portrayed in tiie
chain of circumstantial evidence which
the colonel had laid before him? It was
monstrous 1 It was treason to womanhood!
One look in her eyes, superb in
their innocence, was too much for his
determined impartiality. Armitage gave
\ % himself a mental kick for what he termed
his imbecility and went back to the
hotel.
"It's no use," he muttered. "I'm a
slave of the weed and can't be philosopher
without my pipe."
Up to his little box of a room he
climbed, found his pipecase and tobacco
pouch, and in five minutes was strolling
out to the point once more, when he
^ came suddenly upon the night watchman,
a personage of whose functions
and authority he was entirely ignorant.
The man eyed him narrowly and essayed
to speak. Not knowing him, and
desiring to be alone, Armitage pushed
past and was surprised to find that a
hand was on his shoulder and the man
at his side before he had gone a rod.
"Beg pardon, sir,"said the watchman
gruffly, "but I don't know you.
Are you stopping at the hotel?"
"Iam,"said Armitage coolly, taking
his pipe from his lips and blowing
a oloud over his other shoulder. "And
who may you be?"
"I am the watchman, and I do not
remember seeing you come today." "Nevertheless
I did."
"On what train, sir?"
"This afternoon's up train."
"You certainly were not on the omnibus
when it got here."
"Very true. I walked over from beyond
the schoolhouse."
"You must excuse me, sir. I did not
think of that, and the manager requires
me to know everybody. Is this Majoi
w, Armitage?"
"Armitage is my name, but I'm not
a major."
"Yes, sir; I'm glad to be set right.
And the other gentleman?him as was
inquiring for Colonel Maynard tonight;
He's in the army, too, but his name
don't 6eem to be 011 the book. He only
came in on the late train."
v, "Another man to see Colonel Maynard?"
asked the captain, with sudden
interest. "Just come in, you say? I'm
sure I've no idea. What was he like?"
"I don't know, sir. At first I thought
you was him. The driver told me he
brought a gentleman over who asked
some questions about Colonel Maynard,
but he didn't get aboard at the depot,
< and he didn't come down to the hotel?
got off somewhere up there on the
bench, and Jim didn't see him."
"Where's Jim?" said Armitage.
"Come with me, watchman. I want
to interview him."
Together they walked over to the
barn, which the driver was just locking
up after making everything secure for
** the night.
"Who was it inquiring for Colonel
Maynard?" asked Armitage.
"I don't know, sir," was the slow
answer. "There was a man got aboard
as I was coming across the common
liiciu xxx mc viiidgt; at luuaiaixuij. inuxc
were several passengers from the train
yt and some baggage, so he may have
started ahead 011 foot, but afterward
concluded to ride. As soon as I saw
him get in I reined up and asked where
he was going. He had no baggage nor
nnthin, and my orders are not to haul
anybody except people of the hotel, so
he came right forward through the bus
and took the seat behind me and said
'twas all right, ho was going to the
hotel, and he passed up a half dollar. I
told him that I couldn't take the money
?that bus fares were paid at the office
?and drove ahead. Then he handed
me a cigar, and pretty soon he asked
me if there were many people, and who
had rtie cottages, and when I told him
he asked which was Colonel JUayuard's,
E RANKS.
:harles king.
but ho didn't say he knew him, and the
next thing I knew was when we got
here to the hotel he wasn't in the bus.
He must have stepped back through all
those passengers and slipped off up there
on the bench. He was in it when we
passed the little brown church up on the
hill."
"What was he like?"
"I couldn't see him plain. He stepped
out from behind a tree as we drove
through the common and came right
into the bus. It was dark in there, and
all I know is he was tall and had on
dark clothes. Some of the people insido
must have seen him better, but they are
all gone to bed, I suppose."
"I will go over to the hotel and inquire
anyway," said Armitage, and did
so. The lights were turned down, and
no ono was there, but he could hear
voices chatting in quiet tones on the
broad, sheltered veranda without, and
going thither found three or four men
enjoying a quiet smoke. Armitage was
a man of action. He stepped at once to
the group:
"Pardon me, gentlemen, but did any
of you come over in the omnibus from
the station tonight?"
"I did, sir," replied one of the party,
removing his cigar and twitching off
the ashes with his little finger, then
looking up with the air of a man expectaut
of question.
"The watchman tells me a man came
over who was making inquiries for
Colonel Maynard. May I ask if you saw
or heard of such a person?"
"A gentleman got in soon after we
left the station, and when the driver
hailed him he went forward and took a
seat near him. They had some conversation,
but I did not hear it. I only
know that he got out again a little
while before we reached the hoteL "
"Could you see him and describe him?
I am a friend of Colonel Alaynard's, an
officer of his regiment, which will account
for my inquiry."
"Well, yes, sir. I noticed he was very
tall and slim, was dressed in dark
clothes and wore a dark slouched hat
well down over his forehead. He was
what I would call a military looking
man, for I noticed his walk as he got
off, but he wore big spectacles, blue or
brown glass, I should say, and had a
heavy beard.''
"Which way did he go when he left
the bus?"
"He walked northward along the
road at tlje edge of the bluff, right up
toward the cottages on the upper level,"
was the answer.
Armitage thanked him for his courtesy,
explained that he had left the colonel
only a short timo before and that
he was then expecting no visitor, and if
one had come it was perhaps necessary
that he should be hunted up and brought
to the hotel; then he left the porch and
walked hurriedly through the park toward
its northernmost limit. There to
his left stood the broad roadway along
which, nestling under shelter of the
bluff, was ranged the line of cottages,
some two storied, with balconies and
verandas, others low, single storied affairs,
with a broad hallway in the middle
of each and rooms on both north
and south sides. Farthermost north on
the row, almost hidden in the trees and
nearest the ravine, stood Aunt Grace's
cottage, where were domiciled the colonel's
household. It was in the big bay
windowed north room that he and the
colonel had had their long conference
earlier in the evening. The south room,
nearly opposite, was used as their parlor
and sitting room. Aunt Grace and
Miss Renwick slept in the little front
rooms north and south of the hallway,
and the lights in their rooms were extinguished;
so, too, was that in the parlor.
All was darkness on the south and
east. All was silence and peace as Armitage
approached, but just as he
reached the shadow of the stunted oak
tree growing in front of the house his
ears were startled by an agonized cry,
a woman's half stifled shriek. He
bounded up the steps, seized the knob
of the door and threw his weight
against it. It was firmly bolted within.
Loud he thundered on the panels.
" 'Tis 1?Arniitiigi'!" he called. He
heard the quiok patur of little feet, the
bolt was slid, and he rushed in, almost
stumbling against a trembling, terror
stricken, yet welcoming white robed
form?Alice Renwick, barefooted, with
her glorious wealth of hair tumbling
in dark luxuriance all down over the
dainty nightdress?Alice Renwick,with
pallid face and wild, imploring eyes.
" What is wrong?" he asked in haste.
"It's mother ? her room?and it's
locked and she won't answer, " was the
gasping reply.
Armitage sprang to the rear of the
hall, leaned one second against the opposite
wall, sent his foot with mighty
1 impulse and muscled impact against the
opposing lock, and the door flew open
1 with a crash. The next instant Alice
was bending over her senseless mother,
and the captain was giving a hand in
much bewilderment to the panting colonel,
who was striving to clamber in at
the window. The ministrations of Aunt
' Grace and Alice were speedily sufficient
1 to restore Mrs. Maynard. A teaspoonful
of brandy administered by the colonel's
trembling hand helped matters materially.
Then he turned to Armitage.
"Come outside," he said.
Once again in the moonlight the two
men faced each other. ,
"Armitage, can you get a horse?"
' "Certainly. What then?"
"Go to the station, get men, if possi- ,
ble, and .head this fellow off. He was
here again tonight, and it was not Alice
he called, but my?but Mrs. Maynard.
I saw him. I grappled with him right
here at the bay window where she met
him, and he hurled me to grass as
though I'd been a child. I want a horse!
I want that man tonight. How did ho
get away from Sibley?"
"Do you mean?do you think it was
Jerrold?"
"Good God, yes! Who else could it
be? Disguised, of course, and bearded,
but tho figure, the carriage, were just
the same, and he came to this window
?to her window?and called, and she
answered. My God, Armitage, think of
it!"
?l/~* Z4.U o-o oil
LUII1C Willi UiCy UUJLU1IC1. XUU <*XU UH
unstrung," was the captain's answer as
he led his broken friend away. At the
front door he stopped one moment, then
ran up the steps and into the hall, where
ho tapped lightly at the casement.
"What is it?" was the low response
from an invisible source.
"Miss Alice?"
"Yes."
"The watchman is here now. I will
6end him around to tho window to keep
guard until our return. The colonel is
a little upset by the shock, and I want
to attend to him. Wo aro going to the
hotel n moment before I bring him
home. Y ou are not afraid to have him
leave you?"
"Not now, captain."
"Is Mrs. Maynard better?"
"Yes. She hardly seems to know
what has happened. Indeed none of
us does. What was it?"
"A tramp, looking for something to
eat, tried to open the blinds, and the
colonel was out hero and made a jump
at him. They had a scuffle in the
shrubbery, and the tramp got away. It
frightened your mother. That's the sum
of it, I think."
"Is papa hurt?"
"No; a little bruised and shaken and
mad as a hornet. I think perhaps I'll
get him quieted down and sleepy in a
few minutes if you and Mrs. Maynard
will be content to let him stay with me.
I can talk almost any man drowsy."
"Mamma seems to worry for fear he
is hurt."
"Assure her solemnly that he hasn't
a scratch. Me is simply ngnnng maa,
and I'm going to try to find the tramp.
Does Mrs. Maynard remember how he
looked?"
"She could not seethe face at all.
She heard somo one at the shutters and
a voice and supposed, of course, it was
papa and threw open the blind."
"Oh, I seel That's all, Miss Alice.
I'll go back to the colonel. Good I
night!" And Armitage went forthwith
a lighter step.
"One sensation knocked endwise, colonel.
I have it on the best of authority
that Mrs. Maynard so fearlessly went
to the window in answer to the voice
and noise at the shutters simply because
she knew you were out there somewhere,
and she supposed it was you.
How simple these mysteries become
when a little daylight is let in on them,
after all! Come, I'm going to take you
over to my room for a stiff glass of
grog, and then after his trampship
while you go back to bed."
"Armitage, you seem to make very
light of this night's doings. What is
He mounted a horxc nrul trotted over to
the railway station.
easier than to connect it all with the
trouble at Sibley?"
"Nothing was ever more easily explained
than this thing, colonel, and
all I want now is a chance to get that
tramp. Then I'll go to Sibley, and
'pon my word I believe that mystery
can be made as commonplace a piece of
petty larceny as this was of vagrancy.
Come."
Bat when Armitnge left the colonel
at a later hour and sought his own room
for a brief rest he was in 110 such buoyant
mood. A night search for a trainp
in tho dense thickets among the blulfs
and woods of Sablon could hardly be
successful. It was useless to make the
attempt. He slept but little during the
cool August night and early in the
morning mounted a horse and trotted
over to the railway station.
"Has any train gone northward since
last night?" he inquired at tho office.
"None that stops here," was the answer.
"The first train up comes along
at 11:56."
"I want to send a dispatch to Fort
Sibley and get an answer without delay.
Can you work it for me?"
The agent nodded and pushed over a
package of blanks. Armitage wrote
rapidly as follows:
Captain Chester, Commanding Fort Sibley:
Is Jerrold there? Tell him I will arrive Tuesday.
Answer. F. Aiimitaoe.
It was along toward 9 o'clock when
the return message came clicking in on
the. wires^.waa written .out and handed
to tlio tall soldier with the tired blue
eyes.
He read, started, crushed the paper
in his hand and turned from tho office.
The answer was significant:
Lieutenant Jerrold left Sibley yesterday afternoon.
Not yet returned. Absent without
leave this morniotr. Chester.
TO BK CONTINUED.
JttiSffUaitfous iUtulitii).
TILLMAN WAS SEATED.
Report That Hi* Right Wouhl Rc Challenged
Was I'nfoiinded.
Just before the senate convened
Tuesday, there was a reports circulated
to the effect that Senator Chandler, of
New Hampshire, would interpose an
objection to the swearing in ofSenator
Ben Tillman, of South Carolina, who
succeeds the Ex-Chesterfield of the
senate, Matthew C. Butler. There are
several petitions or memorials pending
before the senate now, urging the
senate to investigate Senator Tillman's
right to a seat in that body, charging
that his election was illegal. The documents
were drawn by Dr. Sampson
Pope and other Anti-Tillmunites in
South Carolina, and they were presented
to the Senate by Senator Butler
and referred to the committee on elections.
Senator Tillman's friends in the
house were greatly agitated over the
report that Senator Chandler might
oppose the formal seating of their
champion and leader, for it was feared
that he would make a scene that might
operate to his advantage. Consequent
ly when the name of Senator Tillman
was read out by the secretary among
the list of senator-elect, who were
invited to come forward and qualify,
interest at once centered around the
South Carolinian, while many glances
were directed toward the "peppery"
Senator from New Hampshire. Senator
Irby, who is the colleague of Senator
Tillman, being absent, Senator
George, of Mississippi, volunteered to
go through the ceremony of escorting
the new senator from South Carolina
t<? the vice president's desk, where the
oath of ollice was administered. So
much has been said and written about
Ben Tillman that he was an object of
considerable curiosity as he advanced
down the aisle, leaning on the urtn of
Senator George. Senator Chaudler
apparently paid no attention to the
proceeding and Senator Tillman was
sworn in without a murmur of objection.
Then, to the surprise of all present
who had heard the original report,
Senator Tillman went over to Senator
Chandler aud greeted him as though
they were old acquaintances, and the
incident, so far as Senator Tillman is
concerned, was closed.?News and
Courier.
PRESIDENT'S MESSAGE.
SynopKit* of the Document Henri to Con
juitnc lumunj*
The president's message to congress
was read in the house and seuate on
Tuesday. It is about 17.000 words in
length, and if priuted in full would
make over two pages of Thk Enquirer.
There is so much of it, however,
that is of so little intersst to many of
our leaders, that we have decided that
a brief synopsis of it will prove more
than acceptable.
At the outset attention is called to
the separate reports of the different
heads of departments, and the attention
of the country is invited to them.
He urges the adoption of the various
suggestions made iu the reports.
The recent uprising of fanatical Chiuese
against missionaries and other
Americans is referred to, and the successful
efforts of this government, iu
connection with others, to have the
rioters punished are reviewed in detail.
Congress is reminded of the fact that
the lump sum of $525,000 assessed
against the United States by the Paris
f I'lKunol r\( ofhilrafiiMi A ?? m ? rr??c ill
U. ..'V4 44<?4 W4 Ml M.VIUV.WU 4^4 X* 4* "
fiicted on British sealers has never
been paid. The president recommends
that cougress either appropriate
the necessary money forthwith or
make such arrangement as may be
necessary for further arbitration.
Several paragraphs are devoted to a
reference to the boundary line between
Alaska and British Columbia and also
the liue betweeu the United States
and Canada throughout the great
lakes. The Alaska country is growing
in importance, and the president
thiuks that a settlement of the boundary
now will be the means of preventing
serious disputes hereafter.
The uncertainties of the liue through
the great lakes gives a great deal of
trouble to American fishermen on account.
of arrests for alleged trespass in
Canadian waters. Something should
be done to establish the line in order
that fishermen should know when they
.1. . TT..:.?.J
are iu uie jurisdiction oi me umtcu
States and when in the jurisdiction of
Canada.
The dispute between Venezuela and
Great Britain brings out some positive
talk. The president says without
equivocation that the United States is
committed to a policy that does not
allow a forcible increase of foreign
possessions in America. The State
department has asked Great Britain
whether or not she is willing to submit
her dispute to arbitration. No
answer has yet been received ; but
the probability is that it will be in before
a great while longer.
The Cuban situation is dealt with at
length. The president refers to the
fierce and sanguinary character of the
war; recommends that citizens of the
United States abstain from taking any
part in if. The government must neceessarily
be neutral and the citizens of
this country should be careful not to
do anything that is calculated to embarrass
the government. The fact that
an American vessel has been wrongfully
fired on by a Spanish vessel is
referred to, as is also the fact that
numerous American citizeus have been
arrested in Cuba. In these matters
the United State* has promptly taken
such action us the circumstances of the
cases demanded.
The situation in Turkey is referred
to. An attempt has been made by this
government to get positive information
as to the nature and extent of the
troubles; but without success. The
Turkish government has positively
refused to allow any investigation to
be made. So fur, no American citizens
have lost their lives because of the
riots; but much mission property has
been destroyed. The government has
two vessels in Turkish waters and the
governments of Europe have agreed to
assist in the protection of Americans.
A scheme for the iraprovment of the
consular ser.vice is proposed, and it is
recommended that American ambassadors
iu foreign countries be furnished
with official residences.
The balance of the message is devo
ted to the financial question. The president
reviews the history of greenbacks,
shows how they were originally issued
as a war measure, afterward redeem
able in coin, and re-issueable. lie at
length finds the government in the
situation of owing to the holders of its
notes gold. After the gold is paid, the
notes can he re issued and must be redeemed
again and again. He tells how
bonds to the amount of $102,000,000
have been issued to maintaiu the gold
reserve at $100,000,000; but on account
of tbe $300,000,000 of greenback
still outstanding the gold can't be kept
in the treasury. He next attacks the
free coinage of silver idea and in conclusion
recommends as a remedy for
the whole situation the issue of long
time bonds at a low rate of interest and
the redemption of all greenbacks, so as
to put the country squarely on a gold
basis.
WAUEKS WON A.NU LUST.
Some Peculiar Beta Made by People on
Both ContinentH.
Betting is a human weakness by no
means confined to the wagering of
money on sporting events. In ail ages,
says the Chicago Record, it has been
common to settle points of difference
by a wager, or to accomplish great
feats under the penalty of the loss of a
given sum.
There's a man down in Kentucky
who vowed never to cut his beard until
Henry Clay was elected president.
This was really a vow, but it was also
a bet. The man bet against fate, and
fate won. A rash young Harvard
graduate recently went around the
world without a cent of mouey in his
pockets when he started. It was
given out that he had laid a wager of
$5,000 that he could make the trip
without money. It has since turned
out that he was simply the agent of a
widely advertised article.
The old Euglish law forced bettors
to pay their debts. A remarkable actiou
was brought in 1812 by Rev. Mr.
Gilbert against Sir Mark M. Sykes.
The baronet, at a dinner party at his
own house, in the course of a conversation
of the hazard to which the life reBonaparte
was exposed, offered on receiving
100 truiueas. to nay one guinea
a day as long as Napoleon should remain
alive. Mr. Gilbert closed with
Sir Mark and sent the lOOguiueas, and
the later continued to pay the one
guinea a day for nearly three years.
At last he declined to pay any longer,
and an action was brought to enforce
the payment. It was coutended by the
defendant that he bad been surprised
into the bet by the clergyman's hasty
acceptance of it, and that the transaction
was an illegal one, seeing that
Mr. Gilbert, having a beneficial interest
in the life of Bonaparte, might, in
the event of an invasion, use all his
means for the preservation of the life
of an enemy of his country. The jury
loyally brought in a verdict for the defendant.
Auother queer wager is the one popularly
believed to have beeu won by
Sir Walter Kuleigh from Queeu Elizabeth
on the debatable question of how
much smoke was contained in a pound
of tobacco. A pound of the article
was weighed, burned and weighed
again in ashes, and the question was
held to be satisfactorily settled by determining
the weight of the smoke as
exactly that of the tobacco before being
burned, minus the ashes. The fact
of the ashes having received au additional
weight, by combination with the
oxygen of the atmosphere was uuthought
of by Elizabeth and the knight.
An amusing bet for the small sum of
os was laid in 1806 in the castle yard,
York, between Thomas Hodgson and
Samuel Whitehead as to which should
succeed in assuming the most original
character. Hodgson appeared decor- i
ated with 10-guiuea, 5 guiuea and
guinea notes all over his coat and
waistcoat, and a row of 5 guinea notes
arouud his hat, while to his back was 1
fastened the words "John Bull."
Whitehead appeared like a woman on
one side, one-half of his face painted,
one silk stocking and slipper, while the
other side represented a Negro in man's I
dress, with boots and spurs. "John I
Bull" won the wager. 1
A gentleman of the last century laid I
a wager to a great amount that he could ;
stand for a whole day on London bridge i
with a tray fall of sovereigns fresh from
the mint and he unable to find a purchaser
for them, at a penny a piece.
Not oDe was disposed of. Wagers have
sometime taken a grim form. It is
credibly recorded that in the last ceut
u ry a wager was laid for one of a party
of gay revelers to enter Westminster
Abbey at the hour of midnight. He
was to enter one of the vaults beneath
the abbey ; in proof of his having been
there he was to stick a fork into a coffin
which had heeu recently deposited
there. He accomplished his object and
was returning in triumph, when he felt
himself suddenly caught and was so
overpowered by terror that he fell in a
swoon. His companions not being able
to account for his absence found him
in this condition. The fork which he
had fastened into the coffin had caught
and pinned his cloak and so occasioned
a fit of terror which nearly proved
fatal.
Spare Moments.?A boy, poorly
dressed came to the door of the principal
of*a celebrated school one morning,
and asked to see him. The servant
eyed his mean clothes and thinking be
looked more like a beggar than anything
else, told him to go round to the
kitchen.
"I should like to see Mr. W?," said
he.
"You want a breakfast, more like?"
"Can I see Mr. W? ?" asked the boy.
"Well, he is in the library; if he
must be disturbed, he must."
So she bade him follow. After talking
otvliilu tliu m-inr>inn1 rntf nuirfp fhp vr>l.
urae that he was studying and took up
some Greek books and began to examine
the new-comer. Every question
be asked the boy was answered readily.
"Upon my word," exclaimed the
principal, "you do well. What, my
boy, where did you pick up so much?"
"In my spare moments," answered
the boy.
He was a hard-working lad, yet almost
fitted for college by simply improving
his spare moments. A few
years later he oecame known all the
world over as the celebrated geologist,
Hugh Miller. What account can you
give of your spare moments?"
We overheard a foreman in a
manufacturing establishment the other
day exclaim, as he looked about him
aud found that one of his workmen
was missing, a moment before the hour
for stopping work : "Jim has gone, has
he? He watches the time very closely,
and usually throws down his tools
about three minutes before the bell
strikes, so as to be ready to start for
home at its first tap. Tonight he got
ahead of the bell. Just as soon as I
have to drop a man from my roll he
shall go." The incident carries with
it its owu lesson, without comment.
9 ?
To marry your ideal woman may
be all very well, but you will have to
live with a real one. Good health, a
good disposition, industrious habits,
and prudent management will do
more to insure your conjugal happiness
than all the sentimental excellencies in
the realm of imagination.
Young man, instead of spendiug
hours in picturing an ideal, make your
own disposition agreeable, your own
manners gentle and refined, studying
to correct all conceit, and thus fitting
irmircolf tn inaL-p an hnnpef, and virtll
J"1"01"' w ~ ?
ous woman happy.
S3?~ Mr. Whiffles?Doctor, I hear you
have a sure cure for insomnia. I wish
you would treat me for it, as it is almost
impossible for me to get to sleep.
Doctor?Certainly. My plan is very
simple. As soon as you lie down at
night begin to count, and keep on
counting until you get to sleep. "Is
counting ail it is ? Why counting is
iust what I do every night of my life,
Hud it doesn't put me to sleep at all."
"Eh? What do you count?" "O,
household expenses, unpaid bills, time
left on notes, and all sorts of things."
In a village smithy in the north
of Aberdeenshire, a few worthies had
forgaithered, and the discussion on "a
man loving his second wife," was
touched upon. "Nyod Smith," said
Millies, "you sud be weel able to gie
an opinion on that subject. Ye've
haen fower wives. Which o' them a'
did ye like best?" "Weel, Hillies, I
I ha'e nae qualms o' conscience in answerin'
that question. I aye liket the
the livin' one best."
BST 'Way back in 1841 the Great
Western Railroad of England agreed
to stop all trains 10 minutes at Swinrlf\r?
if tho "nnrti* r?f tho coonnrl nurt
V.V,.,, .. W.V. J/?. w.v. ^vwu,. r?..v,
bis heirs, assigns and executors,"
would keep a restaurant there. The
railroad has just paid $500,000 for the
right or runuing trains past Swindon
if it wishes.
8ST A husband, feeling his end approaching,
sent for a solicitor to make
his will. l'I leave my wife a life interest
in 100,000 francs." "Very
good ; but if she marries again ?" "In
that case I will make it 200,000. It is
not for her, however; I leave it to her
husband. Poor fellow ! It will be hard
earned money !"
SOT" A small boy had taken the prize
for an exceptionally well-drawn map.
After the examination, the teacher, a
little doubtful, asked the lad, "Who
helped you with this map, James?"
'Nobody, sir." "Come, now, tell me
the truth. Didn't your brother help
you?" "No, sir; he did it all."?
NT. Y. World.