iuunovous Department. PATRIOTIC TO THE LAST. A couple of Englishmen, eu route for Kome, were joiued by an American, whose blatant patriotism first amused, then bored them. No matter what was admirable, rich or rare, there was always something in America to eclipse it, according to our countryman. The Britishers determined to teach the Yankee a lesson, and taking advantage of the chronic thirst of thencompanion, they plied him with all the liquor that he could be induced to absorb, and then proposed a visit to the Catacombs. Before they reached their destination they were obliged to guide his errant steps between them, and at length, overcom \v drowsiness, the American begged to be left alone to lie down at ease. When sounds as of a discharge of musketry issued at regular intervals from the nose of the prostrate patriotic, his companions concluded that he was dreaming of the Fourth of July, and would, therefore, be oblivious of anything nearer at hand. Producing a sheet, purloined from their hotel and until now carefully concealed, they wrapped the sleeper like a mummy in its folds, and then left him to "do" the Catacombs on their own account. Returning an hour later, they found him still sleeping. One of them then drew from under his coat a tin fishhorn, and blew upon it a blast that only elicted a grunt and produced a fluttering of the eyelids of the sleeper. A second blast, however, longer and louder, brought him to a sitting posture, with eyes wide open and senses all alert. A moment of bewilderment, aud then he exclaimed, joyously: "Gabriel's trump ! Resurrection day ! First man up! Hurray ! America still ahead!"?Harper's Magazine. ????? A /I i T1TCIT A \f TOT* A TTJ* UUAKUlSlT AtTAlUDl A "Hardly a day passes," said "Cupid" Danforth, the marriage license clerk, to a San Francisco Post reporter, "that some half-distracted parent does not rush into my otfce and ask me not to issue a license to some such and such a person, because he or she is a little fool, who don't know what she is doing, and is under age. But yesterday I had something novel. A young girl?well, say about 16 or 17 years old?came into my office and said : " 'If ma comes here for a license don't you give it to her.' " 'What's ma's name ?' I asked. " 'Mary Ann Baker.' " 'Why don't you want her to marry? Is your father still living?' " 'No. Pa is dead, and I don't care if she marries, if she don't marry John.' " 'John who ?' " 'Why, John Woolf.' " 'Then if she asks for a license for Mary Ann B&ker to wed John Woolf, I'm not to issue it, eh ?' " 'Well not unless she gives Mary Ann's age as 17 and says, "This is for my daughter." ' " 'Oh, I see. You want John yourself.' "'Yes, and John wants me; but ma is determined to have him, and I don't know but what she might marry him under false pretenses, 'cause my name is Mary Ann, too. Now, remember,' she added, as she passed out, 'if it's Mary Ann Baker, 17, it's all right, but if it's Mary Ann Baker, 37, it's all wrong.' " She Changed Her Mind.?Mrs. Pious?I do wish, Mr. McSnorter, that you would come up and see my husband. He is very ill, and I am afraid will die without experiencing religion. Don't you think you can convince him of the necessity of atoning for his past neglect? Rev. McSnorter?I will try, Mrs. Pious ; I will come up this afternoon and see if I can't induce him to leave some of his fortune to the new theological seminary. Mrs. Pious?On secoud thought, Mr. McSnorter, I don't believe your presence will be necessary. 1 ? lShe Married Him.?Said an aged matron to me once : "When my cousin William came home from his three years' cruise, his old blue cloth suit with brass buttons looked very old fashioned, and I said, 'Cousin William, you should buy yourself some new clothes; you can afford it.' But be answered,'I do not worry about my clothes, Cousin Mary; I have brought home four shot-bags full of gold pieces, and the girls will marry me anyway now.' " And to my "Did any one marry him ?" she replied, while a faint tinge mantled her aged cheeks, "Yes, I married him." S6T Minister to bereaved widow? Yes, Mrs. Milldew, John was such a good man ; always the same, and you could know where to fiud him at all times. Widow?Yes, that's so. (Sobs.) Minister?And then in mouey matters he was always so open-hauded. I remember a time I needed money badly and John weut down ip his pocket for the whole sum. Ah! it was a help. Widow?Has (sob) it (sob) ever been paid back ? The Attack to he Renewed.? Young Man?I love your daughter sir, devotedly. May I hope for a blessing from you ? Old man?Have you spoken to my daughter upon the subject? Young Man?Yes, and she refused. Old Man?Well, doesn't that settle it ? Young Man?No, sir. You forget that I am a life insurance agent, and never take no for an answer.?N. Y. Sun. 86T "You are intoxicated again. What have you been doing ?" "Drinking hot water, as the doctor prescribed." "Nonsense! that would never reduce you to this condition." "Then I suppose you will lay it on the innocent gin with which I flavored the water." Watisulr ?athmngs. AST There are 74,32S registered pupils in the city of Boston. 8ST A mun likes to feel that he is loved ; a woman likes to be told. 9?" The burden of one man is a bag of gold, while the burden of another is an empty pocketbook. There is one thing to the credit of the devil?he never at any time did business in his wife's name. S@F The ear that is always open to hear slander becomes a common cesspool for the neighborhood. The man who robs Peter to pay Paul usually intend to strike Paul for a larger loan later on.?Puck. Some men are like blotters. They may bear the impress of a 100 good things, and yet they are worthless. V8T The church and the scaffold are the two most powerful engines for developing latent religious sentiment. IST Dickens, in speaking of pawnbrokers duplicates, says they are the turnpike tickets on the road to poverty. S&- A man's curiosity never reaches the female standard until some one tells him his name was in yesterday's paper. t&F The American Bible Society distributed more Bibles in China last year than in any year during its history. J6T London has decided to convert into parks and playgrounds for chilren, the 173 disused graveyards in that city. IST There are something like 40,000 public schools in Japan. The buildings are comfortable and education is compulsory. The Japanese method of lacquering is said to be at least 2,000 years old. Pieces made 10 centuries ago are still exhibited. "Ancient" coins, many of which antedate the Christian era, are made in large quantities in London, and find sale all over the world. "Help! help!" cried the man who was being robbed. "Calm yourself," said the highwayman. "I don't need any assistance." 8Invincible fidelity, good humor, and complacency of temper outlive all the charms of a fine face, and make the decay of it invisible. X6T* In Minneapolis it is said that the gross receipts of every trolley road in the place have been reduced fully onethird by the craze for wheeling. 8?" If it be a fine art to wear your best clothes unconsciously it is a still finer art to wear your old clothes as though they were your best ones. 8&* Dews are less abundant on islands and on ships in midocean. Seamen nearing land can tell that fact by reason of the deposits of dew on the vessel. 8?* It is estimated that getting born costs the people of the United States $225,000,000; annually ; getting married, $300,000,000; getting buried, $75,000,000. 86T All the school buildings of Chicago are over crowded, and it is estimated that fully 11,000 children are kept from going to school through a lack of accommodations. 8?? It is estimated than the yield of potatoes in Aroostook county, Me., will be enormous this season, and that there will be at least 6,000,000 bushels put into the market. 86T It is said that Oregon people are protesting against the horse canning industry being carried on in that State, on account of the prejudice it will create against Oregon products. 8?* Passenger?This train is nearly one hour behind time, is it not? Conductor?Yes. But that's all right. We'll getiu in the usual time. "What time is that?" "Two hours late." Pop-corn pops because the essential oil iu the corn is converted into gas by heat, and thus an explosion occurs with tears the kernel open, and causes a singular inversion of its contents. S6f" An editorial notice of a woman's grocery store reads as follows; "Her tomatoes are as red as her own cheeks, her indigo is as blue as her own eyes, and her pepper as hot as her own temper." 8fe?T Bishop Gullem?You mustn't grieve too much, my dear sister. Remember that, though your dear husband has left this mortal body, he is still with you. "That isn't going to afi'ect the insurance, is it?" HaT" An eminent Germau pencil maker, now dead, has over his grave a gigantic stone representation of half a leadpencil set as a tombstone. It is of red sandstone, with a core of graphite 8 inches in diameter. 8?" The pear crop of Georgia this year is the largest on record. It is estimated by those who are in a position to know and to judge correctly, that it will exceed 300,000 barrels. The bulk of the pears are Le Conte. 8ST A lake containing fresh water on top, and salt water on the bottom, has been discovered on Kildin Island, Laplaud. The lake rises and falls with I the tide, and the salt water evideutly comes from the sea by au underground channel. It is pretty well agreed that next year bicycle tires will be larger than those uow in use; more tires will be built one and five-eighths and one and three-fourths inches in diameter. It is probable that the bicycles will have larger tubing. According to Aristotle, women in some Grecian cities owned a great deal of real estate, voted, held office and enlisted in the army. The "new woman" was so unpopular in Athens that a play was written satirizing her desire to control the city. At a lecture on "The Decline of Literature," the eloquent orator shouted, "Where are the Chuucers and Shakspeares and Miltons aud Spencers and Macau lays ? Where are they, I say ?" And a voice answered, sadly, from the gallery, "All dead." ||am ami 4!beside. CHECK REINS AND BLINDERS. These are two relies of barbarism that still hold their own against all feeling of humanity, in many parts of our country. The blinder was invented probably to keep the horse from seeing anything that might be coming up behiud him. Whoever iuveuted it did not understand the functions of the eye of a horse at all. The eye of a horse is made so that he cau see through a very wide range, from the front to rear aud the blinder bides from him three-quarters of what he can see without them. It is entered as an excuse that it keeps him from shyibg at the whip or anything that comes up suddenly from behind. This plea is not good, for wheu a horse with blinders once learns that the whip is held behind him does not forget it aod is in constant dread of being struck. He 5i AJ 1... ^ ?:? ih. is more easily suirneu uy a nuise, iuc source of which he cannot see, than he would be if the blinders were off. The check rein is worse than the blinder, and not a day passes but that we see ladies riding at ease in comfortable carriages while their horses are suffering torture because their heads are pulled up in such an unnatural position and held there in a most cruel manner. These spirited horses are not tossing their heads as they go down the street, because they are proud and high lived. It is because thpy are in pain as cruel as ever possessed the victim of the rack, aud it is downright savagery to drive a team reined up in this manner. We have seen ladies cry out when a horse was struck with a whip as if it had been themselves who had received the blow, and at the same time the team in their carriage was in agony constantly because of the check reins. A cruel blow with a whip is a small affair beside the torture of a team with their heads checked up according to the ignorant ideals of the correct position.?Journal. > < I THE COW PEA. It is hard to find a more palatable and nutritious food for humanity at so low a cost as our Southern cow pea. All varieties eat well, some, of course, preferred to others. We understand that cow peas, rice, and a piece of fat meat, is a favorable dish with the Georgia "cracker." The writer, we don't mind saying, has been blessed with five robust, healthy children, and there is no dish that ever comes to our table that is better relished by them all than cow peas. It is a very nitrogenous food (as are all beans, aud this is in fact a bean and not a pea,) and such a food as children need to develop bone, tissue, muscle, etc. It is a very healthy diet in every respect, but think the peas ought to be well mashed before eaten, as they are likely to be masticated and digested better. This food is so easily and cheaply raised that it is susprising that most of our farmers do not include them on their table at least once a day, every day in the year. Some of the coarser and darker varieties are in fact more palatable than white varieties; but the latter are mainly perferred by housewives, as they are more presentable in appearance when cooking and ready for service. If the mass of Northern people who are so fond of navy and other varieties of beans grown in that climate, only knew the palatabality and nutritiousuess and cheapness of our Southern cow peas we Southern farmers would soon have a Northern market for all the surplus cow peas we ? J ?? '??? ?\n?\An!n 1 1 w? fkn TT'Ut I O Q Hfl uuuiu iuijjc, cspci;iaiij cue light colored varieties.?Editor Montgomery, Southern Live Stock Journal. Curing Hams.?I am assured upon good authority that finely powdered borax, sprinkled upon hams and shoulders, and rubbed in when taken out of bulk to be huug up to smoke and cure, will effectually preveut skippers. I was pleased with the result last year, and I will further make the trial of this simple remedy this year. Borax is cheap aud a sure preventive of the dreaded skipper. Thousands upon thousands of dollars' worth of the best part of the hog will be saved, aud, insteud of mortification and loss to the discomfitted housekeeper a beam of joy will sit upon the countenance of the good housewife as she brings forth her nicely baked ham, and knows that it is without suspicion, as she places it upon the festive board.? Thomas J. Garden. Corn Silk as a Remedy.?Who would have thought that the silk of an orir nf rrr?>?>n r. & Co. EmTiTiiriffll Schedules in Effeet from and After June 16, 1895. G. W. F. Harper, President. CENTRAL TIME STANDARD. going north. | No 10. | No 60. Leav e Chester 7 20am 8 00am Leave Lowrysvllle 7 49 am 834am Leave McConnellsvllle 8 10 am 900am Leave Guthriesville .... 8 18 a m 9 15 a m Leave Yorkvllle 8 39 a m 10 05 a m Leave Clover 9 14 a m 10 50 am Leave Gaston la 9 53 a m 12 10 pm # Leave Llncolnton 1105am 130pm Leave Newton 1154 a m 1 3 00 pm Leave Hickory 12 30 pm 5 00 pm Arrive Lenoir 1 35 p m 6 40 p m going south. | No 61. | No 9. Leave Lenoir 5 00am, 320pm Leave Hickory 6 40 a m 4 25 pm Leave Newton 8 10 a m 5 08 p m Leave Llncolnton 9 30 a m 5 55 pm Leave Gastonla 12 00 pm 7 06 pm Leave Clover 12 57 p m 7 44 p m Leave Yorkvllle 2 15pm 816pm Leave Guthriesville ... 2 43 pm 8 37 pm Leave McConnellsvllle 2 56 pm 8 44pm ,/ Leave Lowrysvllle 3 20 pm 9 02 pm Arrive Chester 4 00pm 9 28pm Trains Nos. 9 and 10 are first-class, and run daily except Sunday. Trains Nos. 60 ind 61 carry passengers and also run daily except Sunday. There is good connection it Chester with the G. C. & N., and the C., 2. & A.; also at Gastonia with the A. & C. A. L.; at Lincolnton with the C. C.; and it Hickory and Newton with the W. N. C. L. T. NICHOLS, Superintendent. H. H. BEARD, General Passenger Agent. , HID RIVER AND CHARLESTON 81 SAMUEL HUNT, General Manager. rIME TABLE of the Ohio River and Charleston Railway company, to take :fleet Thursday, July 11,1895, a7.30a. m. STANDARD EASTERN TIME. GOING NORTH. | No. 33.: I No. 35. Daily Monday Except We'ns'd'y Sunday, i Friday. ..eave Camden 1 30 pm 8 30 am ..eave Kershaw *2 15 pm 10 15 am -? ^eave Lancaster 3 10 pm 1130 am ,eave Catawba Junction 3 45 pm' 100 am .eave Leslies 3 51 pm 1 20 am .eave Rock Hill 1 14 pm 2 40 pm ?eave Newport 4 29 pm 3 05 pm .eave Tlrzah 4 35 pm 3 15 pm .eave Yorkville 4 50 pm 3 35 pm .eave Sharon 5 05 pm 4 00 pm .eave Hickory Grove .... 5 20 pm 4 20 pm .eave Smyrna 5 33 pm 4 38 pm arrive at Blacksburg 6 00 pm 5 10 pra No. 11. | .eave Blacksburg 8 00 am, .eave Earls 8 20 am: no va I)., Un.lnnu >i SO o m, .eave Shelby A 10 am / .eave Mooresboro 9 53 am .eave Henrietta 10 30 am: > .eave Poorest City 10 58 am .eave Rutherfordton 11 25 am trrlve at Marion 1 00 pm * Dinner. GOING SOUTH No. 12. | .eave Marlon 1 30 pm ' .eave Rutherfordton 3 05 pm ,eave P'orest City 3 35 pm .eave Henrietta 4 15 pm .eave Mooresboro 4 .30 pm + .eave Shelby 5 .35 pm .eave Patterson Springs.. 5 50 pm .eave Earls 6 00 pm trriveat Blacksburg 6 .30 pm No. 32. | No. 34. i Dally Tuesday Except Thursday Sunday. Saturday. .eave Blacksburg 8 20 am 8 30 am ,eave Smyrna 8 45 am 9 00 am