Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, November 22, 1893, Image 4

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Humorous Hqiartmrut. His Wit Saved Him.?Although it is a familiar saying that an Irishman is always spoiling for a fight, still there is one kind of fighting to which even the brave sons of Erin are sometimes averse?that is duelling. The following story well illustrates this fact. A certain Irishman, having been chal1 nn rva/1 f a firrVif o rlnnl o nnnntn/1 ill a AAlull. IVti^V/U VV llgilV U UUVIj U^VV|/VVU tuv vvuui tions after much persuasion on tho part of his friends, who felt confident of success. His antagonist, a lame man, walked on crutches. When the place for the shooting had been reached, the lame man's seconds asked that he be allowed to lean against a milestone which happened to be there. The privilege was allowed, and the lame man took his stand. The Irishman and his seconds drew off to the distance agreed upon?one hundred feet. Here Pat's courage suddenly failed him, and * he shouted to the lame man: "I've a small favor to ask of ye, sor." "What is it ?" asked the cripple. Pat answered: "I told ye thot ye might lean agin the milepost, and now I would like the privilege of leaning agin the next one." The laughter which followed spoiled everybody's desire for a fight, and the whole party went home without a shot having been fired. It Turned Their Heads.?An eccentric clergyman in New England had been much annoyed by the way the members of his congregation had got into of looking around to take stock of late comers. After enduring the annoyance for some time, he said, on entering the desk one day : "Brethren, I regret to say that your attention is called away from your religious duties by your natural desire to see who comes behind you. I propose henceforth to save you the trouble by naming each person who may enter, and I hope the service will then be allowed to proceed without interruption." He then began, "Dearly beloved," but paused half way to interpolate, "Farmer Stubbins, with his wife and daughter." ChiKKlnt? IaaI-o/1 rotKor onrnriopH raiuici ubuuviuo 1vvavu awvuv* but the minister, with perfect gravity, resumed his exhortation. Presently he again paused : "Sam Curtis and William Diggle." The abashed congregation kept their eyes studiously bent on their hooks. The service proceeded in the most orderly manner, the parson interrupting himself every now and then to name some new arrival. At last he said, still with the same gravity, "Mrs. Symons, in a new bonnet." In a moment he felt his mistake, but it was too late. Every feminine head in the congregation had turned round. V3F A little Philadelphia hoy had committed some misdemeanor, for which he was about to receive punishment at the hands of his mother. The boy begged to be first al-? lowed to go to his room. Permission was granted, and the child went up stairs to his own room and closed the door behind him. The mother followed and listened outside, after telling him he must hurry down again to receive punishment. The boy went to the side of the bed, knelt down, and this was his prayer: "Dear Lord, if you love little boys, and twant to help this one out, now is your time." The prayer was answered. 8^* "Yes, our little four-year-old is such a comfort and such a help to me," said Mrs. Westsidc to a lady caller. "Why, he can take carc of his baby sister as well as any nurse. He is in the next room now playing with little Dorothy." (Raises her voice) "Wal-ter." "Yeth, mamma." Are you taking care of little sister?" "Yeth, mamma." "Whatare you doing, Walter ?" "Oh, I'se des playin' I'se a barber, and I'se shavin' her wif papa's razor." (Excited tableau.) aSy He was a small bov. whose head was about on a level with the grocery counter. He swung a tin pail in one hand, and tightly clasped four pennies in the other. "Pleathe, thir, how much ith a pint of milk ?" "Four cents.'^ "Then pleathe give me three thent'h worth and a peppermint stick. My mother thaid I could have the change, if there wath any, for candy, and she mutht have known there wouldn't be any. It wathn't fair." And the young financier walked gayly off with a large striped stick of candy and a very little milk splashing iu the bottom of the pail. ? V8T "What a methodical fellow you are, Dobbs !" said Filkins, who had stepped into Dobbs's office during the latter's absence. "Why, what do you mean ?" echoed Dobbs. "To think that you should lock all your drawers up when you are only going out for five minutes. 'Tisn't likely that anybody would meddle with your papers." "Of course not," replied Dobbs; "but how did you find out that the drawers were locked?" t8T Prisoner?As my counsel has failed to put in his appearance, I would ask your honor to adjourn the case. Judge?Why, you were caught fn the act of stealing a gold watch from the person of a gentleman. Besides, you admitted the charge. I am curious to know, what, under these circumstances, your counsel could have to say in your defense. Prisoner?So am I, your honor ; and, therefore, I should like to hear him. tfST An exchange says that an editor once applied to the door of Hades for admission. "Well," replied his sable majesty, "we let one of your profession in here many years ago, and he kept up a continual row with his former delinquent subscribers; and, as we have more of that class of persons than any other, we have passed a law prohibiting the admission of editors." Wiilling to Make Amends.?In your paper this morning, sir, you say I "seem to have learned a small amount of sense in the last five or six years." I look upon that as an intentional insult, sir, and I won't stand it. Editor?All right, sir. We'll say tomorrow morning that you don't seem to have learned a small amount of sense in the last five or six years. Good morning. "You can talk as much as you please against silver coin," he said in an oracular tone, "but it'll always be good for some- | thing." "Wha' makes you think so?" "I was out fishiif the other day, and forgot some of my tackle, and I don't know what I'd a done if I hadn't thought to tie a silver dollar to my line. It makes a first-rate sinker." BdTGifkins?What's the matter, MeCur-! die? McCurdie?Matter enough. You know sometime ago I assigned all my property to my wife, to?to keep it out of the hands of?of the people I owe, you know. "Yes." "Well, she's taken the money and gone off?says she won't live with me because I swindled my creditors." BaT" "What's the matter, sir? Does the razor pull." "Sure it does; but I wouldn't moind that if 'ud only lave go. Niver moind goin' over me face the second toime. I'll go to the saloon across the sthrate and get the bartender to pull out me whiskers wid a cork screw. Faix, 'twould he a picnic al'ther this." A lady told a party of friends that she had quarreled with her husband, and had planted a tree in memory of this their first falling out. "What a splendid idea," whispered another lady in her husband's ear; "if we.had adopted that plan, we might have had by now a fine avenue of trees in our garden." Swell of the Period.?Oh, doctor, I have sent for you, certainly ; still, I must confess I have not the slightest faith in modern medical science. Doctor?Oh ! that doesn't matter in the least. You sec a mule has no j faith in the veterinary surgeon ; and yet he j cures him all the same. Safe.?"I had three glasses of soda water this morning," said Walter. "Three glasses?" cried his mother. "Why, surely it will make you ill." "Oh, no," said Walter. "I got it at the drug store, mamma, where they only keep things that make you well." WaT" "An now," said the editor, "let us he | thankful for one day of rest and get ready for church." "Yes," said his wife, "run out and chop some wood, and milk the cows, and light the fire, and make the coffee, and wash the children, while I bang my hair !" ^lausulr tSathmnijS. 8?^* The right kind of man never loses by defeat. fiOne half of the population of Mexico are full blooded Indians. SGT" Three things to cultivate. Good books, good friends, and good humor. Show may be easily purchased ; but happiness is a homemade article. 8ST" There are about 370,000 acres under tea cultivation in British India. 8?" In India there is about one Protestant missionary to every 500,000 people. BeT What some people consider prudence is what their neighbors call meanness. B@F A restaurant-keeper advertises for "a boy to open oysters liAecn years old." AST" Nearly nine hundred thousand grown English people can neither read nor write. fig?" The largest apes have only sixteen ounces of brain ; the lowest men have thirtynine. 8?" The houses of the leading millionaires of New York are mostly guarded by secret police. " 8??* There are thirty varieties of bamboo, the smallest six inches, and the largest 150 feet tall. 8?* The frieud who stays with you to save a hotel bill, won't last long when your till runs dry. 8?* The Unite'd States has a lower percentage of blind people than other country in the world. 8?" If you want to eat pipe clay, buy it in its pure state. It comes high in cheap confectionery. 8?" Napoleon's famous road across the Alps, which excited the wonder of the world, cost only ?000,000. I?* Men like to see themselves in print. Men are modest. Women like to see themselves in silk or velvet. 8?" The Portuguese have a proverb that no mun can be a good husband who does not eat a good breakfast. 86T Statistics show that women in the ? " i-ll-- A 1. _ United states are growing iuuer, wuue mu men are getting shorter. 86?" Iu China gold and silver are mere commodities, whose price is regulated by the laws of supply and demand. 86?" There are at the present moment eleven pretenders to the various thrones in Europe trying to make good their claims. 86^ In Moscow the winter cold is so intense that it freezes quicksilver, while the summer temperature is as high as that of Naples. VST The laws of China count getting out of temper in public an offense, the punishment for it being five days' imprisonment. 8?" It may interest many to know that from an artistic point of view, a woman's face is more beautiful when viewed from the left. 8?" Probably no twin, male or female, is wholly convinced that his brother, or sister, is quite so good-looking as himself or herself. 8??" There was but eighty-seven nautical miles of telegraph cable in 1862. The length of such cable now is no less than 130,000 miles. 8?" The New Orleans Pieayuilc remarks that statesmen should hesitate about making laws when it is seen how difficult it is to repeal one. 86?" Since the beginning of the century, France has fallen from the second to the fourth place in point of population among European countries. 86?" Husband?My dear, our club is going to have all home comforts. Wife?Is that so? And when is our home going to have all the club comforts. 8?" According to the last census, there arc over 3,000,000 bachelors in the United States; that is, 3,000,000 men over thirty years old who have never married. 8?* How does a horse set an example of philanthrophy to man ? He always stops at the sound of woe, and is willing to let you take the very bit out of his mouth. 8?? Assuming the working age to be from twenty to sixty years, and counting only male workers, 440 persons in this country live on the labor of every 100 workers. 86?" The Marquis of Londonderry is the owner of the smallest pony known. It weighs only sixteen pounds and at its birth was but nineteen and one-half inches high. The farmers of this cQuntry annually use 35,000 tons of twine upon the self-binding harvesters; equal to a string long enough to go more than six times around the earth. fiST The vintage of the present season in California is estimated at about 18,000,000 gallons. Out there it must be difficult to keep from looking upon the wine, no matter what color it is. 8ST "Well, we can beat you on ale, anyway," said an Englishman to a Yankee chappie, as they sat sipping their Bass. "Perhaps you can beat us on ale, but you can't beat us on water," was the patriotic reply. 86T" Wooden bottles, for the reception of pills and powders, are manufactured in great quantities in Maine. Some are as small as the little finger, and range up to the four ounce size. They are less expensive than glass. 86T" The rate of wind varies from five miles an hour?a light breeze?to eighty or a hundred miles an hour?a hurricane. From thirty to forty miles an hour is reckoned a gale; at fifty miles an hour it is called a storm. fiST" In the trial of a bigamy case in a court at Toronto recently, the judge expresses a very pronounced opinion that an American divorce could not be accepted in Canadian courts as binding or dissolving the marriage ties. flST" Love your neighbor. Much of the happiness of life comes from congenial and loving companionship with our neighbors. This feeling should be cultivated. Every neighbor has a better side, and it is wise to live on that Side. Florida is a great bee country. There is something in bloom for them to feed on during the entire year. They keep on laying up honey for the winter that never comes. There is no finer honey than that made from the bloom of the palmetto and orange. B&T Aged Husband?I begin to think, Mary, that I've wrecked your young happiness by permitting you to marry an old man like me. Young Wife?Oh, 110, indeed! I expect to make my second husband very jealous by telling him how fond I was of you. "The subject for discussion at the next meeting of the Village Debating Society is, 'What is Truth?' " "Indeed ? Well that is a question that should be easily answered." "I'm not of your opinion. What is truth ?" "Truth is what two persons speak when they fall out with each other." 8*3?" China is so thickly populated that hundreds of thousands of people live all the year round in house-hoats. Japan is not so overcrowded as China, but it is populated so thickly that about 20,000 persons live in the crater of Aso San, a volcano about thirty j miles distant from the city of Kumamoto. ttST' A Hindoo baby is named when it is twelve months old, and usually by its mother. Sometimes the father wishes for another name than that selected by the mother. In that case, two lamps arc placed over the two names, and the name over which the lamp burns the brightest is the one given to the child. uUaio n /1 unit on/1 vAiir lmcltoml trnintr ***/ Jivn ?.v jv , ? ? on?" asked Elderly of Mrs. Newly wed. "We had a row yesterday and he said something that I didn't like?something that made me suspect that he wished I had never been horn." "What did he say ?" "Hesaid he wished his mother-in-law was an old maid." "Pee here," exclaimed the red-headed woman, in wrath, "if you ain't out of this yard in ten minutes, I declare I'll run this umbrella down your throat and open it." "There ain't a bit o' use of that, mum," responded Dismal Dawson; anybody that's as dry inside as 1 am ain't needin' 110 uuibreller in him." teaF" Of all Americans Doctor Franklin has given his name to more cities and towns. His list, including some compounds, now reaches sixty-three. Andrew Jackson comes next with sixty-one, Washington with fortynine. Jefferson with forty-seven, Madison with forty-four, Monroe with forty-three, Garfield with twenty-four, fta?" The government of Saxony has adopted a novel method to secure the payment of taxes. The names of persons who did not pay their taxes hist year are printed and hung up in all the restaurants and saloons. The proprietors dare not serve those mentioned on the lists with food or drink, under penalty of losing their licenses. (The ^tovii (TfUvv. MY GRIM VISITOR. AX HXCITING STORY. The burglars had been very active and bold in their operations iu our city, but as the thermometer had marked above the * nineties for several days and I had little of 1 value in my room, I preferred to risk that < little and leave my windows open, although | of easy access, rather than undergo partial suffocation. If an uninvited guest made his appearance, and if I did awake, I could feign ' sleep, and let him take whatever he might find. i "This class of visitors," I reasoned with myself, "do not generally commit personal ( violence if they can accomplish tncrt ana make good their escape without it." These were my reflections every night as I undressed and threw myself on my bed, leaving my castle open to the enemy. Iliad < been asleep one night about an hour, when < I was awakened by the falling of a small ( china ornament. Starting slightly and open- ( ing my eyes, I saw the gas burning, and a tall, broad shouldered man, with his back 1 turned toward me, his face looking over his ' shoulder to see whether the noise had awak- ' ened me. My self-possession, however, did j not forsake me. What followed illustrates ( the value of presence of mind. ] Opposite the side of my bed and about eight fept from it, was the door of my room, ' two or three feet from which were the stairs leading to the hall. The burglar must have i used a ladder in ascending the roof, from j which he entered the window. It was some ( thirty feet from the ground, and isolated. ^ My plan was not only to escape harm myself, but to effect his capture. I knew the police- 1 man's bent, and he would pnss in a short time. Sitting bolt upright, then, as I open- I ed my eyes and saw the burglar looking very , unpleasantly at me, I said, rubbing my eyes , drowsily?although, to tell the truth, I never , was more wide awake in my life: "Hello, John, what are you looking for? Can't you come into my room, without making so much noise?" i The fellow, taken somewhat back at being addressed in this way, said, in a low, but menacing voice, and pointing a revolver at me: "Shut up! What do you take me for?" "I took you tor John," l replied wiin ai well assumed nonchalance. "But I didn't | suppose he was after anything valuable in my room, except one thing, and?by the way, you are the unluckiest fellow in the world." "How's that?" growled my visitor. "Well, I have a very good watch ; but if you want to get it you must pay a visit to the watchmaker's after ypu leave here, for I had what I considered the bad, but what now seems the good fortune, to break the spring yesterday, and left it for repairs." "You're a precious cool one," he said, evidently astonished at my indifference. "What's the use of my getting excited or attempting to resist you? You are armed, and you see I am not. And if you had no weapon, your fighting weight must be at least thirteen stone, while mine is not more than nine and a half. I have no idea of interfering with you. If the room were filled with diamonds, I would not lift my hund to save them. Take all you can find; I am going to sleep?so don't make any more noise." "Hold ou !" said the fellow, "where's your keys ?" "Isuppose you want to make as much of a haul as you can," I said ; "so look in my pants hanging over the bedpost there, and you will find my pocket book with a few stamps in it." It was nearly time for the policeman to pass and I paused to listen. I must in a few moments put my plan into execution. A glance, quick us lightning, showed me that the key of the door was on the outside. My listening expression did not escape the sharp and practiced ear of my grim visitor. It was a curious scene, no doubt; I sitting in my bed in my nightelothes, unarmed, and this stalwart ruffian, pistol in hand, glaring half suspiciously, half ferociously at mc, and almost in the crouching altitude of a ;igcr em.liwr n??nn liiu np/il* Tlilt. f ImpO T IilUUlll IV/ Ojll mo VJ . -/uw V ..V. W sat, coolly conversing with him, the necessities of tiic moment keeping my wits too wide awake to allow my fears to get the upper hand for an instant. 'What are you listening to?" asked the burglar. "I. thought I heard a cry of fire. In that instant , and in the dead stillness of the night, I heard the tramp of the policeman. It was still some distance off. "You will find," I said, "some clothes of mine in press: they will, however, be too smr- lor you. Good night; the keys are in nc middle drawer." Hv turned to the drawer indicated, and, as he did so, with one tremendous bound I cleared the space between my bed and the door, slammed the door and locked it upon him. Oblivious of my dishabille, I sprang to the steps. I had two flights to descend and open the door before I could reach the yard, but it was hardly possible for him to descend more quickly. Bounding, rather than running down stairs, I flung back the bolt and rushed into the yard. He was half way down the ladder. Shouting "police !" lustily, I seized the ladder at the bottom, and using all my power, brought it and the burj glar to the ground with a crash. The pistol j he held in his hand fell from his grasp ; I I made a dash for it, and he, springing to his feet like a cat, rushed at me, and as I stooped seizing me by the nape of the neck. I turned the pistol upward and pulled the trigIger. It merely snapped?there were no i more charges in it. With a terrible oath the | baffled vidian wrenched the weapon from | my grasp, and raised it aloft to deal me I what may have proved a fatal blow, when I there was a rush behind him. and he was i felled to the ground. The policeman had heard my shout, and was just in time to rescue me. The burglar was soon secured, and in my excitement I was about to relate the story I have told, when the policeman, with a smile, suggested that I might "ketch cold in them clothes." I then remembered for the lirst time since I had sprung from bed, that I was shoeless and stoekingless, and had nothing on hut my J nightshirt, and heat a hasty retreat. With a i long drawn breath, I took my fine gold re- \ peater, which had a narrow escape, and was | not at the watchmakers, after all, from under my pillow, looked at the hour, turned in. and after a little while fell asleep. It is almost needless to add that the above story, narrated afterward to a jury, when I was in a better trim for story telliug than I was when the policeman interrupted me, had the elfeet of giving the visitor lodgings in a public institution, and secured me against a j j repitition of his call for at least ten vears. i "STAXUAItO TIMK." Valuable Information as to the Divisions of Time | in (liis Country. Standard time is the name given to a system of time keeping adopted in 1SS.'?, by I which the United States are divined into four divisions, the time in each place in any ; one of which is the same as that of all the other places therein, Before 18811 there were seventy-live different time standards in use by American railroads. A traveler from Boston to Washington would have to set his watch live times to keen correct time on his trip. In Hartford, Conn., some trains wore run by Xew York time, others by I tost on time, and the people themselves used local time. Finally the railroad managers decided they would divide the country into sections, each j of which should have its own time, and so I arranged that the standard time of any sec- j tion should be one hour ahead of the next western section, and one hour slower than ; the next eastern section. The four sections are respectively: The j eastern, taking in the Atlantic coast down to; Charleston, S. ('., the line running from j Charleston irregularly ton line running north and south from Detroit; the central, all tcr-! ritory between this line and aline running! from Hismarck, N. I)., to the mouth of the Kio (iraude ; the mountain section takes in from this line to the western borders of Idado, I'tah and Arizona. West of this line lies ! the Pacific st'ction. j The eastern section takes its time from , I Philadelphia, which has 75 degrees of*i west longitude; the central from St. Louis! i 1)0 degrees west of (Jreenwich ; the inoun-! j tain section from Leadville 105 degrees j ! west, and the Pacific section from Virginia : ! City, New, 120 degrees west. The sections j are about fifteen degrees of longitude in width. Provision is made for an intercoloj nial section, the time of which will be standard time in Newfoundland, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick. Non-standard time is the ! j time shown by the sun. It is "local time." ?hc ffavm and ^ittside. j coxnrcTKi) by uowlaxd blac k. [Original.] WORLD'S FAIR TESTS OF DAIRY COWS. The dairy tests are completed and the :ows have all been shipped home after l)eiug in the barns at the fair grounds for aver six months. It must be remembered that, these tests were made upon dry food tnd in a stable upon the fair grounds, where Lhey were subject to many disadvantages. .\mong them were a constant stream of visitors, swarms of Hies, heated stables and want of pastures, the cows being kept in the stalls during the entire time. The testing committee invited all breeds to compete, but only three breeds took part. These three accepted all the rules as laid :lown by the committee, there being'three distinct tests. The first was a test for cheese ; the second for milk and butter; the third for butter alone. The cows for these tests werc-furnished by breeders of the three breeds in the United States and Canada.The feed was furnished by the fair managers, and the feed consumed by each breed was charged to them at market prices. The three breeds competing, were the Jerseys, Ciuernseys and the Shorthorns. Each breed was allowed twenty-five cows, and each had a superintendent who had charge of feeding and milking the cows; but the testing, churning and cheese making, was in the bands of three selected judges. The object of these tests was to find the best dairy breed. The first was for cheese, and was to last fifteen days. During the fifteen days, the Jerseys made !)G9 pounds of cheese; the Guernseys 755 pounds; the Shorthorns 724 pounds. No one expected the Jerseys to beat the Shorthorns in the cheese test, as it had never been claimed for them that they excelled as cheese makers; but during the fifteen days, they made 245 pounds more cheese than the Shorthorns, and 214 pounds more than the Guernseys. This, it must be remembered, was a cheese test and not a beef test; yet the Shorthorns gained (>(>7 pounds of fat to 724 pounds of cheese, or only 57 pounds more cheese than beef. The cheese sold for 13 cents a pound, and the beef was rated at at 4 cents. The Guernseys made 485 pounds of beef to 755 pounds of cheese, or nearly two-thirds as much beef as cheese. The Jerseys made only 320 pounds of beef to 069 pounds of cheese, or lliree times as much cheese as beef. Those figures show wherein the three breeds differ. The Shorthorn is a beef breed, and even when selected and fed for cheese, makes as much beef as cheese. The Jersey is not a beef breed, and the cows do not convert their food into beef. There is a general impression among some people that the Jersey is a small milker. The following figuics from the cheese test will show this to be false. During the fifteen days, the twenty-five Jerseys gave 13,295 pounds of milk ; the Shorthorns, 12,1S2 pounds; the Guernseys, 10,931 pounds. The thirty days following the cheese test was taken up with the milk and butter test. Here the Jerseys came out ahead of the Guernseys and Shorthorns. The ninety day test for butler alone, is the last and most important of them all, as it decides which is the best dairy breed. During this test, the Jerseys made 4,274 lbs. of butter; the Guernseys 3,300 lbs ; and the Shorthorns 2,891 lbs. The Jersey butter, when sold, was worth $1,747.37, and they gave a net gain of $1,323. Guernseys made 3,300 lbs. of butter, which sold for $1,353, and they gave a net gain of $997.50. The Shorthorns made 2,890 lbs., worth $1,171.75; net gain $910.15. The Jersey cow irivinir the most milk and making the most butter during this test, was Biown Bessie. She gave 3,934 pounds of milk, made 210 pounds butter, which sold for $88.50, and she made nearly 90 cents a day during the test. The best Guernsey was Matcrna. She made 185 pounds of butter, which was worth $74.00. The Shorthorn cow making the most butler, was Nora, making 100 pounds, worth $05.00. This test has shown that high feeding is profitable. Take the Jersey cow Brown Bessie. She ate $25 worth of food and made $S8.50 worth of butter. Some say there is no profit in cows?it takes too much to keep them. This depends upon the cows. Some cows could have eaten this $25 worth of food and not given one-third of Brown Bessie's profits. She was bred -for a dairy cow, and she did not make four cents beef when she had a chance to make butter. So if you want to make butter, -don't keep beef cows. Size does not seem to count for much in dairy cows, as the Jerseys only averaged about 900 pounds, the Guernseys 1,100 pounds, and the Shorthorns 1,400 pounds. The Jersey cattle were imported into this country from the island of Jersey. There are three of these islands?Jersey, Guernsey, and Alderncy?and it is from these islands that the three breeds of cattle?Jerseys, Guernseys and Alderneys?come from. Although they are in one group, the breeds are kept separate by strict laws forbidding any cattle to be imported into the islands. The Guernseys originated upon the island of Guernsey. They are larger and coarser than the. Jersey. The Shorthorns are an Knglisli breed of cattle, and in Kngland they are kept principally for beef. These tests will prove of great benefit to dairymen, both because it shows which is the best dairy cow, and because it shows what can be done with a herd of good cows, where * i - 1 - - t* 1 1 t < .. mey arc property icu ami rami lor. While the (piantity of the ration fed to these I rows is prohalily beyond the reach of the every day fanner, yet it shows that a variety and an abundance of food is necessary when a cow is expected to do her best. These test cows were fed upon hay, corn-hearts, erarots, bran, oats, oil meal, cottonseed meal, middlings, silage and gluten. It certainly would not pay any farmer to indulge in this kind of grain feeding, but he should try to give his cows a variety of food, and not feed them upon one kind of food all winter. Hot Watkr.?It is wonderful how many j uses hot water serves. A compress of linen wrung out of hot salt and water and applied j to the chest, covered entirly and closely with j flannel to prevent the taking of cold, will | ease pain, and do away with the irritation : which culminates in frequent coughing. j Hot water at the back of the neck and bebind the ears will cure that nervous weari-, ncss and hysteria which overcomes one after a hard day's work. Hot water taken inter-; nally before a meal is an aid to digestion. WSP Soak three or four newspapers thor-1 ouglily in water, wring them as dry as possible, tear them into bits and scatter them over the carpets before commencing to sweep ; the damp paper absorbs the. dust, and brightens I the colors of the carpet. <TS^t \ lXuJm VBaking Absolutely Pure A cream of tartar baking powder. Highest of all in leavening strength.?Latest United States ; Government Food Report. Royal Baking Powder Co., 106 Wall Street, N. Y. \ \ ORTMAN PAYS If THE EXPRESS. | . Send for Special Reductions To My Country Patrons, i PRACTICAL STEAM DYEING AND CLEANING OF EVERY DESCRIPTION. . J STEAM, Naptha, French Dry and Chemical Cleansing. Shine anil (Hons removed 1'rom adihani iniufv tlm mnut (iciuiciiivii .1 i;ii'uiiuk i.iiu?uvi..jh,,, ... . delicate fabric. LA I) I ICS DIIKSSKS DYKI) WITHOUT KIPPINO. Price list >iik1 circulars cliccrfully furnished on application. COLUMBIA STEAM DYE WORKS, 173 Main Street, OOIiUMBIA, S. C. A." L. ORTMAN, Proj>rietor. August 23 .'H 3m Head What Two MoneySaving Satisfied Customers Have I To Say. Here is what Mr. II. II. Edwards, Anderson, S. C., lias to say of Our $20 COLUMBIAN Sewing Machine, under date of June 13, 1H03 : "The No. I COLUMBIAN Machine < I bought of you has been received And thoroughly tested. \ It has given entire satisfaction. I It is a beauty. Such a Machine Would have cost me Fifty or Sixty Dollars Here. Indeed, I don't : Think they Have any here As good as It is." Mr. J. II. Cllukskalcs, Due West, S. C., Says, under date or May a, imwj: "I received the COLUMBIAN Machine several days ago. All Bight, With all the Attacniiiciits. We Arc well Pleased With the Machine, And all that Have seen it say That it is the IIRST Machine on tiie Market. I think I will be able To Send you in An order tor others In a few days." Send for Full Particulars to 1,. M. Crist, Yorkvillc, S. C. TAX NOTICE*!, Okkk'K ok County Tukasuuku, [ Youkvii.i.k, S. Cm September 15,1803.) JN conformity to law, mv books will be openened on MONDAY, 1'HE lliTH DAY OF OCTOBER, and kept open UNTIL DECEMDEIt .'{1ST, 1W).'!, for the collection of STATE, COUNTY and SPECIAL TAXES, for the fiscal year commencing November 1st, 1802. For the accommodation of tax-payers, I will attend at the following places on the days named: At Yorkvillc, from Monday, October 16th, until Saturday, October 21st. At Antioeh, Monday, October 23 rd. At Tirziih, Tuesday, October, 24th. At Newport, Wednesday, October, 25th. At Clay Hill, Thursday, October 26th. At Thompson's Mill, Friday, October 27th. At Bethel, Saturday, October 28th. At Yorkvillc, from Monday, October 30th, until Saturday, the 4th day of November. At Clover, Monday and Tuesday, November 6th and 7th. At Bethany, Wednesday, November 8th. At Clark's Fork, Thursday, November 0th. At Hickory Drove, Friday and Saturday, November loth and 11th. At McConnellsville, Monday, November 13th. At J. W. Carroll's store, Tuesday, November 14th. At Sharon, Wednesday, November 15th. At Yorkvillc, from Thursday, November 16th, to Monday, November 20th. At Butfalo, Tuesday. November 21st. A i 11 rovnr Wrt/lnou/liiv VdVPflllinr ^III]. At Rlacksburg, Thursday ami Friday, Novcmlier 23rd and 24th. At Yorkville, Saturday, November 25th. At Coatcs' Tavern, from 1 o'clock p. in. on Monday, November 27th, to 1 o'clock p. m. on Tuesday, November 28th. At Fort Mill, Wednesday and Thursday, November 29th and 30th. At Hock Hill, Friday, December 1st, and Saturday, December 2nd. . At Yorkville, Monday, December 4th. At Hock Hill from 1 o'clock, Tuesday, December 5th, until Saturday December 0th. At Yorkville from Monday, the lltli day of December, until December 31st, 1803, alter which davtho 15 per cent, penalty will attach. ll. A. D. NKHrA , ('ounty Treasurer. September 20 38 tf f BAPTIST IIIOII SCHOOL, Yorkville, S. C. ^ KEV. K. II. (1KIFFITII, 1). I)., Principal. THK FIHST SESSION of this institution will commence on WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 3, 1804, and continue five months. The school will be opened in the building formerly used by the King's Mountain Military school, of Yorkville, which was built especially for school purposes. In thchuilding, in addition to the recitation rooms, there is ample accommodation for 100 boarders. The purpose of the sponsors for the school will be to give to boys who may enter its walls, a thorough and practical course that shall tit them for the everyday attairs of life, or for entering college. TKKMS I'KU SESSION. For school expenses, including tuition, boarding, fuel, lights and washing, ?72.50 per session, of live months, payable in advance. Day pupils will bo required to pay tuition for entire session in advance. It is important that the principal should have the name of every pupil before the school opens, and requests that those who expect to attend will notify him not later than December 15, 18fl3. I'upils are requested to bring with them the the text books they last used. Parents who have boys to educate will do well to send for circulars giving full information. Address, SAM M. (JHIST, Secretary of Hoard of Trustees. September 27 3!> 3m W. L. DOUGLAS S3 SHOE NoTttp. Do you wear them? When next In need try a pair. Best In the world. t5.0q^"s^3.00 UOOM \*250 43.50 SaL^.iJW.OO 42.50 f 42.25% Ml Ml.75 If you want a fine DRESS SHOE, made In the latest styles, don't pay $6 to $8, try my $3, $3.50, $4.00 or $5 Shoe. They fit equal to custom made and look and wear as well, If you wish to economize In your footwear, do so by purchasing W. L. Douglas Shoes, Name and price stamped on the bottom, look for It when you buy. VT. I? DOUGLAS, Brockton, Hms. Sold by J. J. SMITH, Clover, S. C. August lit :M 4iii FIRST NATIONAL BANK, . Hock Hill, 8. C. Capital, $75,000 Surplus and Profits, 45,500 Additional Liability of StocMiers, 75,000 Total Protection to Depositors, $105,500 W. I.. HODDKY President. I \V. ?I. KODDKY, Ylee President. .1. II. MI 1.1.Kit Cnsliler. It. LKK K Kit It Teller. < rpii IS HANK oilers its sendees to the public 1. generally and solieits aeeounts from rami- 1 ers, Mereliants, Corporations and Private Individuals. We shall lie glad to furnish our terms upon ' application. INTKHKST HF.AKINtJ CKItTIFK'ATKS OF DIOPOSIT ISSl'KI). Septemher 27 3D fim A PFA OF (SOI.I) DON'T always write loving messages; it don't J always foot up columns correctly ; it don't alwayssign lag checks. Hut there is aS.Ml >( )TH- , NKSS and a KIOAIHNIOSS aliout a Oold Pen < that endears it to the user. Onec find a Gold ] Pen that "just suits" you, and a life-long friend , is yours. *ly business is to find that pen for you. . Will you eonie and help me look for it ? A.M. GUI.ST. j November H 4f> tt SIO(.'OM) HAND ENGINES Ij^nK SALE CHEAP. One (j-Horse Power . Agricultural, in lirst-oliiss order, as good as new. OneK-lIorsp Power Agricultural, in good order. KOCK IIILL MACHINE WORKS. . THIS MKIIII \m\M For 1894. Handsomely Printed on Strom f lite Pater.; THE LOCAL NEWS A SPECIALTY. SEW Subscribers in Clubs Received Previous to Christmas, 1893, Furnished With the Paper Until January 1, 1895, for $1.75, Cash in Advance. NOW IS THE TIME TO SUBSCRIBE! \ $100 Wilcox it White Organ to he Awarded to the Club-Maker who Secures the Largest Number of NEW SUBSCRIBERS by 4 o'clock p. m. on Thursday March 15, 1894. V $90 RIDGY, A |75 GOLD WATCH AND A COKBI.N DISK HAKKOW FOR THE THREE LARGEST CU BS. % 1 Premiums for otber Clubs Ranging in Size from SIXTY Down to FIVE Subscribers. Lin hit A L COMREXSA TIOXEOIt ALL WORKERS roil THE ESQ I IHER. THE YORKVTLLE ENQUIRER will enter upon the FORTIETH year of its publication < an tho THIRD DAY OF JANUARY, 18!M. In making our annual announcement we avail ourselves of the opportunity to return thanks to our l'rionds and patrons for the generous support that has been extended to THE ENQUIRER for the past year, and to say that during ism, we do not intend to take any steps backward ; but will endeavor to make the paper more mm more uiiuiicu in uiu suppui'i <?i uiu <u York county. THE ENQUIRER having intelligent, trustworthy and wide awake special correspondents in York and adjoining counties, hut little transpires in which the people generally arc inter- ested, that is not promptly made known through its columns. Resides this, it shall continue to he our aim to watch carefully after everything that is calculated to make known to the outside world the business advantages and natural resources possessed by York county?agricultural, mineral and climatic?and when we say York county, we do not mean any particular section of it, or any particular class of people; hut TH E WHOLE COUNTY ANI) ALL THE PEOPLE. While the local and general news departments of the paper will he carefully looked after, all the features which have given THE ENQUIRER a distinctive original character from the first day of its publication will ho maintained. From time to time it will contain short storks and serial stories from the best writers; every week a column of fun and humor; carefully selected and seasonable articles intended for the benefit of the farmer and housewife. To recapitulate: It is our aim to print a hightoned, clean, newsy family paper; one that is RELIABLE, and one whose weekly visits will always be looked forward to with pleasure by its patrons. Terms of Subscription-?Postage Free. Single Copy, one year, ?2 00 Two Copies, one year, 3 ?<0 One Copy, two years, .'5 sit) One Copy, six months 1 00 One Copy, three months, f)0 Ton Copies, ono year, 17 50 And one copy, one year, to the person making u club of TEN at ?1.75 for each subscriber. Payment required to be made in advance. PREMIUMS TO CLUB-MAKERS. For the three largest eiubs of yearly subscribers, at ?1.75 for each subscriber, wo offer the three articles mentioned below, the aggregate value of the three being ONE HUNDRED ANI) NINETY-FIVE DOLLARS, as follows: For the largest club, a ?00 OPEN BUDDY. Particulars in regard to this premium will be found elsewhere. For the second largest club, one ?75.00 Watch. The movement fortius Watch is manufactured by the Columbus Watch Co., of Columbus, Ohio, and is called the "Railway King." It has 10 jewels, in gold settings, extra center hole jewel, patent regulator, adjusted to heat and cold; gold finish. It is one of the finest movements made in the United States, and is used exclusively on a number of the great railroad systems by reason of its reliability as a time keeper. The movement will be fitted to a Boss filled gold case. These cases are made of 14 karat gold and are warranted to wear 20 years. The price of the movement is ?40 and that of the case ?35, making the value of the watch ?75. For the, third largest club, a No. 7 12-disk latest improved Corbin Disk Harrow, worth ?'10. To EVERY person who may obtain a club of sixty or more names, but who may fail to secure ono of the three premiums already mentioned, x??S11 <vtvn no nnnmnnuatinn nno PhifMlfrft Sin per Sewing machine; or if the person eutitlixl to the machine does not want it, we will give one Fifty Tooth Evans Steel Frame Smoothing Harrow ; or if the Harrow is not wanted, wo will give one 11 jewel Elgin watch in a Fahy's dust proof open face silver ease. The retail price of the watch is$24.00. Either the Sewing Muchine, Harrow or Watch will bo delivered free of expense for transportation. To EVERY person who may obtain a club of FORTY and less than sixty, but who fails to win one of the three leading premiums, we will give one 7 jewel Elgin Watch in a Fahy's dust proof open face case. This watch usually retails at about $13. To every person who may obtain a club of THIRTY and less than forty subscribers, but who may fail to win the Ruggv, the $75 Watch or the Disk Harrow, we will give as compensation for securing the subscribers, one 7 jewel, open faced American Standard V ateh in a Fahy's dust Kroof case. This Watch would bo considered a argain at $10. For a club of FIVE and less than ten subscribers, wo will give as compensation for securing the names, one 30-hour Nicklo Alarm Clock, the retail price of which is $1.75. To persons who make up clubs of TEX and less than twenty names, we will send THE ENQUIRER one year free of charge; and to those who may secure a club of TWENTY and less than thirty names, we will forward THE ENQUIRER one year free of charge, and a copy, one year, of any weekly newspaper or monthly magazine published in tho United States, the publication to be selected by the person entitled to receive it. The time fixed for completing clubs under the above otl'ers is limited to -1 o'clock p. m., on THURSDAY, the 15th day of MARCH, 1H!M. NEW SUBSCRIBERS. Coitipetitors may commence to secure subscribers at once. All NEW SUBSCRIHERS that are returned in clubs previous to December 25, 18! 13, will be furnished with the paper from the time the subscription is received until January 1. 18515, for $1.75. By N EW subscribers we meiin persons whose names are not now on our subscription list and 1 have not been within THREE MONTHS of this date?November 1. A change of address FROM ONE MEMBER OF A FAMILY TO ANOTHER M EM HER OF THESAM E FAMILY. WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED AS A NEW SUBSCRIBER. Every new subscriber must bo genuine. For the Largest Flub of New Subscribers. To the person who may obtain and pay for the largest club of NEW SUBSCRIBERS between the first of November and THURSDAY, the loth March, ls!M, at ."{o'clock p. in., we will give as i compensation one WILCOX A* WHITE (>R<?AN, valued at $100. [For lull description of the Organ see advertisement printed elsewhere.] The Organ is o lie red independent of all other premiums, and the person who receives it will be entitled to have his names counted in competition for either of the other premiums offered. For example: If the person who secures the Organ shall have returned and paid for the largest list of names by Thursday, the 15th day March, 1MM, including those which entitled him to the organ, lie will be entitled to the$!m Buggy; if the second largest, including those which entitled him to the Organ, he will lie entitled to the $75.1 hi Cold Watch ; if the third largest, in-' ( hiding those which entitled him to the Organ, ' he will be awarded the Corbin Disk Harrow. If it is found that the person who secured the! Organ has asullicient number of names on the fifteenth day of March, 1n!i|, including those which entitled him to the Organ, to entitle him ! to a premium oll'ered for sixty, forty, thirty, j twenty, ten or five names, and has failed tose-j cure one of the three first premiums, he will be i awarded either premium he may select to which j the number of names returned entitles him. | RENEWALS count just the same as new subscribers in competition for all premiums except the Organ. CONDITIONS. No name will be counted in competition for a premium, and no premium delivered, until the j; subscription price has been paid. It is not necessary that the names of a club; ' should all he at the same postollice. Names i1 may be taken at any number of places. One name for two years will be equivalent to two! names for one year each. Club makers are requested to send in names ' us rapidly as they secure them. I .< All subscriptions must be forwarded to us at j < the expense of those sending them. We will be responsible for the safe transmis- ] sion of money only when sent by dralt, register- ] ed letter or money order drawn on the York- 11 ville postollice. In sending names, write plainly, give post- | office, county and State. i All subscriptions will be discontinued at the i expiration of the time paid for. ? A separate list will be kept for each club- | maker, who will be credited with each name sent, so that the number sent by any one person may be ascertained at a moment's notice. I it ea.se of a tie for either premium, two weeks I will lie allowed iu which to "untie." ' Persona who commence making clubs, will J not ho permitted, alter the names have been * entered on our books, to transfer the names to mother club-maker's list. , The time in which additions may bo made to clubs under our propositions will expire on rill'HSDAY, T1IK l">th DAY OF MARCH, IS!>4, at 4 o'clock, p. in., therefore, persons who lesire the benefit of club rates, must subscribe uid pay for the paper before that day, as after the >xpiratiou of that time, it will not*he furnished ( for less than $-.00 unless new clubs are formed. All letters should be addressed to L. M. GRIST, Yorkvilie, S. C. , KllPAIR YOIJK .MACIII NICK Y NOW, BEFORE the seiison for work. ROCK IIIIX MACHINE WORKS. for Infants and Children. " Caatorla is so well adapted to children that CiiKtoria cures Colic, Constipation, 11 eoommend it as superior to any prescription Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea, Eructation, known to me." II. A. Archer, M. D., Kills Worms, gives sleep, and promotes dill 1 So. Oxford St., Brooklyn, N. Y. gestinn, Without injurious medication. "Tho uso of 'Castoria It so universal and "For several years I have recommended . its meriLs so well known that it seems a work your 'Castoria,' anil shall always continue to i f sujicrcrngation to endorse it. Few are the do so as it has invariably produced beneficial intelligent families who do not keep Castoria results." within easy reach." F.nwi.v F. Pardee, M. P., Carlos Martyn, I). P., 125th Street and Tth Ave., New York City. New York City. Tite Cestacr Company, 77 Murray Street, New Yore City. TO RF OIVFN AWAY! JL \y WM VII * Ml l < K I i - M . . $100 WILCOX & WHITE ORGAN To be Awarded to the Club-maker who Returns and Pays for the Largest Number of NEW SUBSCRIBERS Between November 1st, 18!Ki, and March 15th, 1894, at 4 o'clock p. in. Go to Work RIGHT NOW and KEEP AT IT! LAST year we awarded A ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR WILCOX & WHITE ORGAN as a premium to the club-maker who returned and paid for the largest number of NEW SUBSCRIBERS within a specified time, and jus the otter wjus received with such great favor by the club makers, we propose to repeat it this year, and bv ji special arrangement effected with the - . .u 1. ...... 1 \tl. cvnui:!,' T SPITORH nt manuiaciurers, mrougu men hciichu ?kuih h<i hu.-. miu.;.., ..... ........ .. , ... Yorkville, wo are enabled to offer an instrument that IS THE EQUAL OF ANY $100 ORGAN MANUFACTURED In the United States, and far superior to most of them. The above picture will (jive a fair idea of ? the appearance of the organ, and the following description shows that it is an imstrumeut which will please the most exacting artist: The ease will be either Black Walnut or Quartered Oak, as may be preferred. It is f> feet high, 4 feet in length, 21 inches in depth, and the case is finely finished and hand rubbed. Satno quality of tone and workmanship as is found in their higher priced styles It is ornamented with two French plate beveled edge mirrors and has a closed convenient musical receptacle. It has eleven stops, none of which are "dummies." THE WILCOX & WHITE ORGAN COMPANY Stands at the very head of the list of manufacturers of line, RELIABLE AXI) DESIRABLE INSTRUMENTS, and has received more medals and diplomas on regular "utalogue styles than any other American manufacturer of organs. Its organs are handled by loading dealers throughthe world, and is enthusiastically endorsed by musicians. A great many of '.hem are in use in York and adjoining countiesaud arc giving universal satisfaction. The organ will be awarded to the club-maker who returns and pays for tho largest number of. NEW yearly subscribers to THE ENQUIRER at each, between NOVEMBER 1, lHtt'l, ami THURSDAY, MARCH 15, 1894, AT 4 O'CLOCK P. M. Willi the organ will go, without extra expense, one Plush Top Stool worth $ii; and a copy ot Dr. J. G. Burnett's Electric Organ Teacher, worth $2..r>0, and by the use of which a person may become a skillful performer ; not needing any other teacher. THE ORGAN IS GUAHANTEEl) By the WILCOX A WHITE OliOAN COMPANY for six years, and by Mr. SCIIORB for 110 less than twenty. He proposes to keep it in thorough order1 free of expense to the person who wins it. ' Now we want to use some VERY PLAIN ENOLISH. The organ* will lie awarded to the person who may secure and PAY for the largest number of NEW YEARLY SUBSCRIBERS at 8l.7o each, between November 1, lHfM, and March 1">, isi>4. at 4 o'clock p. in.,and we EARNESTLY REQUEST EVERY ONE WHO EXPECTS TO ENTER THE RACE, to READ our prospectus and learn all the conditions, and especially its to what is meant by a NEW subscribers, and then go to work without delay and KEEP AT IT'. The largest club of New subscribers, whether it he 10 or 100, or more, takes tho organ. LEWIS M. GRIST, Yorkville, S. C. A FINE $90.00 OPEN BUGGY TO BE GIVEN AWAY To the Person Who Secures the Largest Club of Subscribers to TUP ENQUIRER?Old and New Counting Just the Same. A BUGGY made l?y the CAROLINA lll*< i< i Y COMPANY, of Yorkville, is a thing of bounty,mid is as durable as il is possible to make a vehieie with the same amount of wood and steel, md for this reason TIIK KN'lJl'IKKH has been using the ( AROLINA HI (i(i\ CO.'S vehicles for several yearn as a Pit KM Il'MS T<) ('LCB M A K KHS ; and as we have never used a i more aeeeptable premium, have deeided to continue its use FOR THE FALL AND WINTER CONTEST OF 1893-'94. riio buggy wo have arranged to offer is a $00.00 Ol'KX BUGGY with either end or side-bar ' iprings, and as stated above, is as tine a vehicle as is on the market at the price, and we think it xiual to a great many that sell for more money. \t is our purpose to award this buggy to the CLUB-MAKKR WHO M AY RETURN AND PAY FOR the largest number of YKARIA SI BSORIBEKS?both old and new?between NOVKMBKU 1, and.THURSDAY. MARCH loth, lt<!?4, at 4 o'clock p. in., whether, the number be TKN, FIFTY, ONK HI NDRLD OR MORE, at!fl.i"> each. The reputation of the CAROLINA BUGGY COMPANY'S WORK is something of which he people of South Carolina should feel proud, as notwithstanding the fact that our country is iiow passing through the greatest financial stringency of the past twenty years, the company has lieen operating its plant to its full capacity and h is been unable to keep up with the orders. No Wronger testimonial could be ottered as to the high standing of its work with those who know what j<xxl work is. SOMEBODY IS GOING TO WIN THIS BUGGY, And we have NO PRKFERKNCK AS TO WHO TIIK WINNER SHALL BK. What we .1. ....1 it tl.n tiniviin U'lm returns Sllirl llilVS for the hlFfrnst nnmtior /if unl,. jU'OIHKSU KMIO IN l<> ?ltil tl li t<f mi .? , v ??(||MVI w| seribers, both OLD and NKW, between the dates mentioned above. The otter is open to the world. Goto work today. LKWIS M GRIST, Yorkville,. S. C. GARRY IRON ROOFING COMPANY, Manufactures all kinds of 3 ^ lltox OHM PAINT .'KiMi'Kt) and eoRRUOATKiisiniNo, 1.">2T< > l.V< M KHW1N ST.. Iron Tile or Shingle, < '!*-* vol ?!,<>. ikk prook noons, siii'ttkhs, ,k\, |?r=i; ' "'.p=^P pt~ Send for Circular and Price List No. 7o. THE LARGEST MANUFACTURERS OF IRON ROOFING IN THE WORLD. ^Sd-Orders received by L. M. GRIST.