Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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lewis >i. ?ri8t, Proprietor.j gut Jndtjirndcnt Tamils Jffcirapaptr: Jin; thi; ?romotion of thu fblitifal, Asocial, ^ititultoipl and <|oimnoiitial JnterMts of tho jlouth. | teems?$2.00 a tear in advance. YOL. 37. YOEKVILLE, S. C., WEDNESDAY, MAY 13, 1891. 2STO. 14=. ' - > * ? ? - I--J L A ?UA AN ARM} BY CAPT. CHA Author of "The Colonel's Daugh - Ranks," "Dunraven R [Copyright, 1890, by J. B. Lippincott Co meat with tl CHAPTER VHL With all his soldierly qualifications, Col. Morris, like most of his sex, had JS a Trrmc, a oertaui UWCVW Vi uiatakKii uv n<v ? . ^ tireless worker as a regimental commander, and had done a great deal to faring np the "tone" of the Eleventh, which had suffered vastly during the reign of old Biggs, his predecessor. He had won a good name as a young officer in the war days, and had home himself well in the more trying and hazardous campaigns of the far frontier. But Morris, both during the war and since, had seen staff duty that had brought i him Into social and political circles in Washington; had learned there the lesson that an ounce of influence is worth a pound of pure record; that in most matters affecting army legislation it was the men who were the farthest away from the army whose opinions congress sought; that in all appointments to the staff departments personal and professional excellence might plead in vain unless backed by senators by the score; and that while judicious use of the gifts that God had put in his way in the shape of the public press might result in the gradual rearing of a monument of popular esteem, a single unguarded word or petulant expression would tumble the whole fabric about his ears. He had Been the highest names in legislative, financial and social circles dragged in the dust; the head of the house of representatives dethroned; a Wall street monarch execrated; a gallant soldier, maimed in battle, ridiculed. In combined and resistless assault thp press had overwhelmed the record of years. Morris had faced death in a dozen fields , without a flinch, but be trembled in the presence of a reporter. Nervous, irritable, and unstrung, he called his officers about him on the following day. Guard mounting was still in progress; the band was playing sweetly on toe grassy paraae; tne ringing voice of the soldierly young adjutant swung the column around in its jaunty march in review. One after another the troop and company officers came quietly in, bade their flushed commander a courteous good morning, and took their seats. He was pacing the floor, tugging at his mustache, another telegram in his hand. "Where's Dr. Ingereoll?" he asked, suddenly stopping in his walk. "Here, colonel," said the post surgeon, stepping within the office from the brick pavement outside. "I was waiting a moment to see the steward, to give some directions as to Brent's case." "Ah, yes. He's better, I believe. Now, I see yon have marked Welsh for duty, and the man tells me he oouldnt sleep all night because of pains and chills." "Welsh is as well as I am, CoL Morris, or if ill has only himself to blame. He knows as well as I do that he has no business to go to the store and drink when under treatment and taking medicine. It is my Arm conviction, sir, that that man is simply trying to shirk." "CoL M*orris, I prentme. " ^ "Well, well. Dr. Ingereoll, it is a matte* in whinh we ran not be too carefuL Yon haven't the faintest conception, sir, to what this moet unfortunate affair may lead. It is infinitely better that we should be imposed upon by a shirk than that the public should get to look upon us as this man's persecutors. The Palladium that came yesterday was bad *' enough, in all conscience, but here's another telegram from department headquarters demanding immediate investigation and report upon the allegations contained in tho second day's issue of the series. How many are there to be, in heaven's name? Mr. Hearn, have you submitted your explanation?" said the colonel, turning abruptly upon the young lieutenant, who was sitting in pained silence by Capt. Lane. "It is in the hands of the adjutant, sir," answered Hearn, rising. "I have not seen it?I have not seen it I hope you have been full and explicit, Mr. Hearn." The lieutenant's pale face flushed with a sudden sense of indignation: "I have never yet been accused of any ? attempt at concealment of my actions, CoL Morris. Gentlemen present who have known me nearly six years will tell you that" "I'm not accusing you of anything, Mr. Hearn. Pray keep your temper, sir. But you do not seem to appreciate in the least the very trying and unpleasant position in which you have, however unwittingly, placed every officer at this post especially me, on whom the burden of responsibility must falL If 1 had known four days ago that you had used violence?or at least force?in ejecting that soldier from the barroom, 1 should certainly have discountenanced his further punishment This sort of thing cannot be tolerated, Mr. Hearn. And, gentlemen, I say it to you one and all, this sort of thing cannot be allowed. It creates a wrong impression among the people. It gives the press an opportunity to criticise our methods of discipline. It makes a martyr of the man in the eyes of the public, and we can't stand it. I have felt compelled to release him from confinement and to direct the quashing of the charges against linn. There was a moment of dead silence. He&rn was struggling to control himself and to protest that he had used neither violence nor any force worth speaking of. But Capt. Brodie took the floor: I must ask your pardon, CoL Morris, but I was witness to that transaction from beginning to end, and I myself ordered Welsh taken to the guard house. It was after that, not before, that force was used. Welsh cursed and resisted the corporal of the guard" "Never mind, Capt. Brodie. What seems to have infuriated the man, and what has given rise to all this uproar of the press, is the fact that Mr. Hearn, as they say, dragged him out. Of course that may be exaggerated." "It's a d d lie," muttered old Kenyon, under his breath. "But all tho more it goes." "I do not wish to be unjust to Mr. Hearn in this matter," continued the colonel. "But 1 cannot too strongly deplore the consequences of his?of his action. And then in threatening to expel civilians from the garrison! What earthly right had you, Mr. Hearn, to arrogate to yourself the faculties of commanding officer? I am the only man to say who shall and who shall not be kept on or off the reservation. And now, of r PORTIA. S. KING, U. S. A., iter," "The Deserter," "From the anch," "Two Soldiers." >mpany, and published by special arrnnge>em.] all men on earth that yon young gentlemen should have been particularly careful not to antagonize, it turns out that one of them is a representative of the press." And, in the full realization of a circumstance so calamitous, the colonel Wo nkai* Tloom m'lnM huVA I KiUJL 1UW MVH4U f? V? : explained that he had made no personal threats, but Lane's restraining hand was laid on his knee. "Patience, lad!" he whispered. "Say nothing now. It will all come right in the end." ' i "I'm sure I took the utmos t pains to be civil to the a?gentlemen," drawled Martin, with his innocent eyes on the vacancy of the opposite wall}. "I implored Stone not to eject them. I had to beg off drinking with the?a?Israelitish party because I had to shoot. Of course, colonel, if I had known that the other gentleman was so highly connected, there's no saying to what length I wouldn't have gone to attain the elevation they had already reached?one of them at least A dozen drink a, I think, might have done it." "This is no occasion for the exercise of your sarcastic powers, Mr. Martin," said the colonel severely. "It is to be hoped your civility was less transparanta sham than your present remarks." "Pardon me, colonel," interposed Lieut Lee, whose seat was near the window. "Here comes the gentleman himself." Surely enough, a buggy drew up in front of the office, a bulky form slowly descended, and with much deliberation of manner Mr. A brum a, of Chicago, looked about him, then proceeded to tie his horse to a young maple ai: the edge of the walk. The orderly sprang forward: "Beg pardon, sir, but it's against orders to tie horses to the trees. The horse posts are across the road." "Against whose orders?" said the gentleman from Chicago, with slow and impressive movement, turning upon the trim soldier. "The colonel's orders, sir. Even the officers can't leave their horse* in front of headquarters, sir." "My God! Here! this will never do!" fidgeted the colonel, springing to his feet "Mr. Adjutant, send & man out here." "Shall I take care of the gentleman's horse?" said Martin with grave humility of mien, rising slowly to his feet, as the colonel strode to the door. But Morris was too hurried to hear him, or even to rebuke the titter with which the words were greeted. By this time, paying no attention to toe orderly, toe representative of The Palladium had leached the doorway and was brought face to face with the post commander: "CoL Morris, 1 presume. 1 am the bearer of an order to you from department headquarters.'* "CoL Morris, sir, at your service," replied the post commander with much suavity. "A letter, 1 presume. Walk in Mr.?Mr. Take a chair, sir." Several of the officers nearest the door had risen promptly, as though in readiness to receive with due honors the colonel's guest Others Blowly followed their example. Some remained seated and continued a low toned chat All gradually resumed their seats, and, while some with evident curiosity studied the appearance of the stranger, Brodie and Lee looked at him with eyes that plainly spoke their resentment, wliile Hearn's hands were clinched and his lips compressed. No word was spoken to the new arrival, however. He, with entire indifference of manner as to all the rest, fixed his gaze upon the commanding officer, who rapidly read. The note was short and to the point Morris had reason to be thankful for his diplomatic training. "I am greatly pleased to give you welcome, Mr. Abrams," he said, extending his hand with much apparent cordiality of manner. "This, while by no means ! necessary, of course adds to the readii ness with which we open' our doors to you. Had I known you were here and desirous of visiting the post for any purpose in the interests of your paper, 1 should have found means to welcome you before, and am only sorry you did not make your presence known to me." Maj. Eenyon had risen as the colonel was speaking, and now in low tone and with much respect of manner accosted him; "By your leave, coionel, if there be nothing further in the way of business, may I request your permission to retire?" | "Certainly, Maj. Kenyon. And, gentlemen, there were some matters to which I desired to call your attention, j but it is so near time for 'toots and sad| dies,' we will defer the matter until toi morrow. I will not detain you further." There were one or two among the | score of officers present who desired to see the colonel on some routine matters; ! these contented themselves with going I a. x?.. J1 1. over to me UUJUUUll b u?a, uo uv cuvcim, and whispering their requests to him; the others promptly took their leave and sauntered out into the sunshine. Mr. ; Abrams noted the occurrence with a I quiet but suggestive smile. For a moment no one among the little | group seemed to find anything to say. | It was Mr. Lee who gave the first exj pression to personal opinion. He burst : out into a fit of laughter. "I'm blessed if I can see anything to : laugh about in this affair, Mr. Lee," : said the major, whose face was a shade I moodier than ever. "If anything was needed to confirm what I have hitherto said on the subject, here you have it. Perhaps it pleases you to see a comrade vilified by the press and t hen bulldozed by his commanding officer, who well knows the paper lied, but; daren't stand up for one of his subalterns. And then j to think of the fellow's impudence, an( nouncing himself as the bearer of an ! order from headquarters! If I had been j in command I should have told him : orders were never sent by the hand of civilians." "Sail into the paper if you like, Maj. i Kenyon, but leave the colonel alone; : that's purely our business," was the : prompt reply. "Capt. Lime, may I ask if the colonel has requested an invitation ! to dinner to-night for his friend Mr. Ab1 rams, of Chicago? I understand that Mrs. Morris and the chief are among : your guests." "He hasn't yet, Lee, und if he should ' the quartermaster will have to knock | down a partition, for my dining room j can only hold twelve or fourteen by se! vere squeezing." "Captain," said Hearn, as they walked ' away, "I'm going to ask you to excuse me to-night. I would only be a cloud : at your feast, and after what has passed I don't feel us though I could sit at din! ner with the colonel." ltTT ?? ? - ?*>% ? /v\?na Wa j Xlfura, my wy y y uu uiuov vvuiwt t? v are not going to let you crawl into a corner now anil brood over this. It is the very time when we want to stand by you i and 6how how much wo hold you in . esteem." "Yes," was the bitter reply, "yes, my ' colonel lias given a glorious exhibition 1 of what constitutes esprit de corps in ; the Eleventh. No, captain, I would do anything for you or Mrs. Lane, but I j can think, speak, dream of nothing now ! but the wrong that has been done me, ! and I would only bo a drag. You will I excuse me, won't you?" "Come in, come into the house, Hearn," answered Lane as they reached the gate. "Come in and talk it over j with Mrs. Lane and Miss Marshall; they | will do you good. They are both fhll of j i sympathy. Come; it's quarter of an | { hour before drill." But Heam shook his head and drew ; ] away. "I cannot," he said; "I must go; i there's my home letter yet unwritten." And so, with Lane's anxious eyes fol- 1 , lowing him, he strode rapidly away to I his quarters. There Jim Wallace joined j him at the gate. ' Three hours later, however, with drill j over and the mail in, the question of dinI ner became of minor importance. Marked : copies of The Palladium had been re- i ; ceived by several officers, and the faces ; of the group on Capt. Lane's piazza were , studies. j "Did the orderly take one to him, do . you know?" asked Mr. Lee, with a world I of pent up indignation in his tone. "One!" answered the major; "one! the I insult wouldn't be complete without it. I ' I think there were a dozen papers, marked 1 copies, in his name." "Has no one gone to see him?" asked 1 ! Mrs. Lane, her sweet face full of sorrow. I "The pat)tain was there when the mail 1 came, so was Mr. Wallace," answered I Miss Marshall in low tones. "He seemed > to anticipate something of the kind." j | "This will have a tendency to make ; I Hearn rather homesick, I fancy,"drawled i Martin after a solemn pause. "I never j quite appreciated the benefit of southern i institutions before." "Sick, I admit?sick at heart, sick of i his cherished profession, perhaps; but ! why homesick, Martin?' queried the j major. I "Oh, only because down south they j ' shoot a man who publishes an outrage: one slander like that, and the jury i brings in a verdict of justifiable homi- I ' cide." CHAPTER IX. | "rtmtvott ' ^ it ne^ary for me to be more imperative." The afternoon was lovely and full of sunshine. Thanks to the startling and sensational disclosures in The Palladium, the post had become an object of unusual interest to the surrounding populace, and, j as the hour for dress parade approached, | vehicles of every description came streaming across the bridge, and before the trumpet sounded "first call" the road in front of the officers' quarters was well filled with carriages, buggies, carryalls and light wagons, while some enterprising livery stable keeper had fitted up a few open stages and placarded them with inscriptions setting forth that "To the fort and back only a quarter," was a luxury now within the reach of everybody. The populace was beginning to gather as the cavalry officers came sauntering back from the stables, and Mr. Abrams, of Chicago, again alighted from his buggy with an air that fully conveyed his appreciation of the fact that he was the popular hero of the moment?the daring journalist who had bearded the lion in i i Wa den. had nubliclv denounced the j brutality of these arrogant wearers of straps and swords, and had even brought to the bar of justice one of their number. There was the utmost curiosity to see the representative of The Palladium, and that eminent journalist, true to his principles of conforming with the views and wishes of the public, graciously accorded every opportunity. It was in passing this gentleman, surrounded by a gaping party of Central citizens, that the colonel somewhat osI tentatiously called out, "Orderly, give j my compliments to the adjutant, and say that, in view of the presence of so many gentlemen and ladies from town, I desire him to have the band ordered out at once," and went on his way j amid such audible evidences of popular | approval as "Ah! that's business!" I "Aint he a Jim Dandy?" "That's my | candidate for brigadier!" "He ain't no j stuck up second lieutenant!" And the j ! poor devils of bandsmen, just seating j | themselves at their supper of hot potato | ! Btew and coffee, were compelled to drop j the savory bowls, and hastily button ' their full uniforms over their anything | but full stomachs and march forth upon ! the parade to entertain the populace until the rest of the show was ready. If but now an apoplectic stroke were to i create a vacancy among the brigadiers, j Morris's star might indeed be in the | ascendant. It had been the custom of the ladies at ! I Capt. Lane's to appear on the piazza ' about the time that the officers came up j j from evening stables, and, re-enforced by j I the Whartons, next door, and sometimes ! ; by other fair ones, to serve a fragrant ! | cup of tea to such of their regimental j ! friends as had time to drop in. Today, J i too, the cozy little tables had been set j upon the veranda, but the close prox! imity of the southwest gate, through j which all the teams came driving in, and i the rude stares of the occupants of the ! various vehicles speedily drove the ladies | away; and Sam Ling, the Chinaman, an ! old retainer of Lane's, was busily carry- j ' ing the pretty china within doors again j and lamenting in voluble ''pidgin" the ! coating of dust which had been received, i | when the captain walked by with Hearn ! i at his side. In vain Mrs. Lane called to ! him from the doorway to bring in any j one who would come. He shook his head . and walked on, talking gravely and , earnestly with his younger friend. Miss Marshall, standing at the win- ' dow, noted the inexpressible sadness and ; : distress in Hearn's once buoyant, hand- i ; some face. He had grown years older I in one day, she thought; all the color i ; had fled from his sun tanned cheeks and j ; the light from his brave blue eyes; yet j there was a gleam in them, as he bent | his head to talk with his friend, the cap- j tain, that spoke of the smouldering fire ; within. She had thought him grossly i wronged in the occurrences of the pre- I vious day, but it was the coming of The | Palladium on the noon train that capped the climax. Omitting all the ingenious and alluring head lines, condensing the j sensational details in which the correI spondent had worked up the case, Lieut Hearn stood accused before the whole United States of having forcibly ejected i from the reservation a highly respecta- I j ble business man who had vainly im- j j portuned him to pay the sum he for . years had owed the estate of the former j post trader, "most of it borrowed money ' to help hhn out of gambling scrapes," I and had at last ventured to press his j : claim in person, only to be met with | | outrage and insult. There could be no doubt of the truth, said the correspond- i j ent; the books were open to the whole : world, if need be, and tho sum involved i exceeded five hundred dollars. Georgia Marshall, gazing at the pair 1 ; from the lace draped window, clasped : her shapely white hands in deep perplex- < ity. The slander, the scandal, the wrong, I was spread world wide; a refutation j could never overtake it, even with the i proofs of utter innocence at hand, and j where were they? It was comfort at least that he should j look up, and, as though in search of one friendly face, search the window with his sad blue eyes. He should feel that, no matter what the press might say and the Jews mlgbt swear to, more than one among his friends believed in him through thick and thin. Her dark eyes were full of sorrow and sympathy, and yet flashing with scorn of his defamer. And it was his picture of her face, framed by those shimmering curtains and by the trailing, twining tendrils of smilax that hung thickly about the window, that suddenly met his troubled gaze, and that he carried in his memory day and night long, long after. Half an hour later the orderly came hurrying to Capt Line's quarters with a note, and then ran on down to the stables. "This will settle the question for you, Mabel," said Lane, who was getting into parade uniform. "Col. Lawler comes on the sunset train, and Col. Morris writes to know whether we cannot excuse him, or whether, perchance, there should be room for one more." "Oh, Fred, apd we've got to say yes, for Mr. Hearn won't come," answered Mrs. Mabel, with grief in her eyes. "We've got to say, 'Bring him by all means;' and yet how I hate to have our ?nKntlftill T9 4 unlr> nnnM prctl/jr UiUIJCl D^UllUUt U MiO UU1U WU1U only be late!" "That would spoil it still more, Mabel, for then your? Oh!" said the captain, suddenly recollecting himself, and turning back to his particular little shaving mirror, before which he began busily arranging the loop of his gold helmet cord. "For then?" exclaimed pretty Mrs. Lane, speeding across the space between her toilet table and her liege lord's shaving corner, and laying her white hands upon his shoulder knots and gazing up into his half averted face with sparkling eyes?"For then, you dear old? You haven't sent east for flowers?" "Perhaps it was some other fellow then," said the captain, dubiously. "Oh, Fred, you darling! I hadn't hoped for anything half so lovely. Will they be here on this train, really? That's why you didn't want dinner served until so late, was it? Georgia and I were saying just now if we only had a few flowers the table would be perfect. I must run and tell her." And impulsively she raised her soft lips to his face and kissed hint enthusiastically. "You are so thoughtful, Fred!" "Very," he responded, with much gravity of mien. "And that's what prompted me to suggest to your ladyship the propriety of throwing a wrapper over those snowy shoulders. ?The orderly has left the hall door open, and all Central City seems out here to-night. There goes the 'assembly,' and your train should be here in fifteen minutes. I suppose I can tell the colonel as he drives past on the way down to meet him?" Ordinarily the announcement of the advent of some such high functionary ae the judge advocate of the division would have been quite sufficient to induce the colonel to turn over the command at parade to Maj. Kenyon and to go forthwith to meet the coming man. But here was the elite of Central City, as well as - ?J ? J "1"^ rs.9 4-lkA TMOOOAa a HVIUll^ UClC^illlUU Ul i/UD mnoooo) gtavuered to see the garrison, and Morria particularly prided himself upon the soldierly grace and style with which he presided at the most stately ceremony of the military day. If he were to fail to appear at the head of his troops, if all that line of officers were to march to the front and salute Maj. Kenyon instead of him, people might really get the idea that it was the infantry field officer who was the post commander, not himself. No. In all the yellow radiance of his cavalry plumage Morris strode forth from his veranda and stood revealed in the rays of the westering sun. His orderly hastened through the groups on the graveled road in front, and, halting, raised his hand in picturesque salute, the eyes of Central City looking on: "The colonel's messages are delivered, and the carriage will be at the station.'1 "Very well, Brooks. Now you yourself go down and be on the lookout foi Col. Lawler, a tall, sandy haired, sandj bearded man, rather slender, nearly 6C years of age; report to him and get hi* baggage into the wagonette and bring him here to my quarters, and say that 1 would have met him but was detainee at parade." Again the orderly saluted, then facet! about and strode away through thr swarm of curious eyes which followed him a moment, then turned once mon upon the gorgeous and gleaming propor tions of the warrior putting on his white leather gloves and buttoning them at the: wrist with much deliberation. Mrs, Morris being in her own room, arrayinji herself for the Lane dinner party, and the veranda being vacant, he then called to his adjutant, who came along the path < way at the moment, a vision of floating yellow plume and brilliant aiguillette, and after a moment's conversation with his chief that young gentleman made hi.3 way to where a couple of town carriage a were drawn np along the edge of thi parade and presented the colonel's com pliments to the occupants, the ladies of the postmaster's and leading bankers households, inviting them to bring their friends and come and sit on his piazza. Mr. Abrams, of Chicago, who .was at the moment the center of a knot of met, yonng and old, quitted their society, and ^ V*ia /inofAmnw rlalihnmfinn oanr: tered over, opened the colonel's gate and with careless ease of manner accosted that official, "Fine evening, colonel,'' and then lowered himself into the nearest chair just as the officer, with a face that flushed unmistakably, excused hintself, passed him by and hastened down the steps to greet the entering ladiei, while the adjutant, hurrying on to where his sergeant major was awaiting him at the edge of the greensward, signaled the band, and the stirring notes of "adjutant's call," followed by the burst of martial strains in swinging six-eight time, heralded the coming of the troops of the v.-holo command. Company after company, the cavalry from the west, the infantry from the east end of the quadrangle, came marc iing forth upon the level green carpe t, seemingly intermingling in confusion jis they neared the center, yet unerringly and unhesitatingly marching onward, until presently, with the solid blue and white battalion in the center, and with the yellow plumed helmets of the cavalry parading afoot on both flanks, the long statuesque line stretched nearly half way across the longest axis of the quadrangle. Company after company, the white gloved hands clasped in front of each man as its commander ordered "Parade rest," and Col. Morris himself, who had with much deliberate dignity of manner marched out in front of the center, now stood in solitary state with folded arms and glanced quickly along the motionless line, while back of him some thirty yards, all along the edge of the parade, in buggies, carryalls, 'busses, in long somber rank afoot, Central City looked admiringly on. For a moment the main interest seemed to center on Lieut. Hearu, and fingers could be seen pointed, and voices heard announcing, "That's him," as he stood tall and erect in front of the troop he was commanding in old Blanvelt's absence. With flourish of trumpets and three resounding ruffles the band swept out from the right front,aud then all eyes were suddenly greeted by an unaccustomed sight. On the troops, long schooled in military etiquette, the effect was not at the time * uppaii ut?ucituui \jj uui oi^u ?cw there indication that anything unusual had occurred; hut in the populace, long accustomed to individual visits to the fort and to observation of its military requirements, "Keep off the grass," and by no means intrude upon the space reserved for military exercises, the sensation was immediate. Elbowing his way through the crowd standing at the edge of the parade ground, with cigar tip tilted in his mouth, Ins light spring overcoat thrown back, with the same cool deliberation that characterized all his movements, the representative of The Palladium sauntered forth upon the sacred precincts, and never hesitating until he had almoafc reached, the commanding officer, presently came to a rpecies of "parade rest" of his own, half liitting on the backB of his hands, which were supported on the knob of his masnive cane, and there coolly surveyed the proceedings from the very spot reserved Tor the adjutant, one yard to the rear rod three to the left of the commending officer. Some of the soldieni in ranks, unable to repress their merriment at the sight of so unusual a breach of etiquette, could not refrain from tittering. The voices of the file closeis could almost be heard in stern, low ton id reproach. "Stop that laughing, MurphyI" "Quiet, there, Duffy!" Morris himself could see that something unusual was going on, but, totally unconscious that his own OlllCLUl preCiUUbB VVCIO tus Btcuo UJ. kuo solecism, never changed his position, but stood there statuesque, soldierly and precise, all unconscious of hfa Belf appointed staff officer slouching beliind him. As for Mr. Abiams, happy in the conviction that the people could not but look on and envy the proud prominence of the representative ol! the press, ho appeared to have no other care than that of the criticism du^-Jihe public of the martial exercises now taking ptice. That it was probably the colonel's intention to make a speech of Borne kind to his men Mr. Abrams did not doubt, and that The Palladium should have every word of it he fully intended. The band by this tine was hammering half way down the line, and the officer of the day, coming suddenly in the northwest gate from a visit to the guard, became aware that something was exciting the merriment of the few men on the verandas of the cavalry quarters, and then caught sight of this strange figure out on the parade. He looked hurriedly about in search of the colonel's ordsrly, but Brooks, as we have seen, hart already gone on his mission to the station. Not a soul was there to whom he could intrust the duty, yet he knew he could not allow snch a breach of militiry pn> I priety to occur right under his eyea There seemed no help for it; he hid to go himself; and, by no means liking his duty, C&pt. Cross, of the infantry, hastened out on the parade, and with the eyes of both lines upon him, though the heads of the troops remained scrupui lonsly fixed to the front, he stepped up 1 to Mr. Abrntos, tapped him on the shonliler, and civilly said: ' "I beg your pardon, sir, but no one is allowed on the parade ground. I shall ' have to trouble you to fall back to the ? roadway." i Mr. Abrams looked angrily around. 1 What! Be compelled to quit his position? ?to fall back in humiliation before all 1 those people and meekly take his slation 1 among them, and actually to have to I confess that, after all, a newspaper man i wasn't the monarch of all he surveyed? Never! "Fm here in the interest of the journal I represent, and I have full authority irom tne commaauiug geueiai vj mopcvi. anything at this post," was his, instant answer, accompanied by a shrug of his shoulders and an ugly scowL "I cannot help that," was Cross's cool yet civil reply. "You can see just as well from the edge of the parade, and here you will be in the way." "I can't see it clear back there, and 1 mean to stay where I can see and hear, i If there's anything I don't understand 1 1 wish to be where Col. Morris can explain." > Thanki to the banging of the band, all this was inaudible to the colonel, who i remained in blissful ignorance of the colloquy taking place so near hi m. i "You cannot stay here, sir," was the firm, low toned answer. "I will take pains to explain everything to you after you retire some twenty yards, but 1 trust you will not make it necessary for me to be more imperative. Come, sir!" And so, with the worst possible grace, Mr. Abrams had to give ground, and, accompanied by the officer of the day, : fall back to the general throng. To cover his mortification as much as possible, Cross, in a smiling and courteous manner, went on to explain the purpose and details of the parade. Bui; Abrams only turned angrily away. Twice he essayed to stop and face alxmt, but i Cross was getting his blood up by this time, and determinedly marched along i to the very edge of the tittering line of townspeople, and there, raising his cap, ? said with the utmost civility: i "And now, sir, if I can be of the faintest assistance in nuking this ceiremony ' clear to you, command me. You will i observe that the adjutant is coming out I to occupy the very position yoti were in." But Mr. Abrams was in the sulks, as ' j was to bo expected, and still more I wrathfullv turned his back, refusing to i listen, so that Cross promptly left him i to his own devices. The representative i of The Palladium had sense enough not > to attempt to resume his place, but he had lost interest in the performance si ! multaneously with his own loss of pres | tige among the crowd, and no, after a ' moment's wavering, he turned about I and shouldered his sullen way toward i his buggy, only stopping long enough to inquire of a civilian the name of the officer. j "Cross, eh? Capt. Cross. Sure of 1 " n i ii Till C- r? tnat, are you: au ngm, ni u uiui, he growled between his set teeth as he strode away. When a few moments later the long line of officers halted in front of the | colonel and raised their hands in simul: tan eons salute he responded 'with some| thing less than his customary graceful ; deliberation and inquired: ' "What on earth was going on there that there was so much giggling in J ranks? It was mainly in front of you, ' Mr. Martin. Have you been attempting any witticisms, sir?" | "Not that I can now recal], colonel," . responded Martin, with his usual drawL I "Possibly the appearance of our Chicago 1 I friend in the role of adjutant was what j prompted their merriment. If you in! vited him to accompany you I trust you will excuse it." "Whom do you mean, and what do ; you mean?" ! "Why, Mr. Abrains took poet on your 1 left and rear, sir, until Cross invited him : elsewhere. I'm sorry for Cross; he has ' ; a wife and family; and yonder goes the j gentleman, bound for the telegraph j office no doubt. What won't The Pal, ladium say now?" "You don't mean he was right here by me during parade?" said Morris, growing very red. "Certainly, sir," spoke Capt. Brodie. i "You could have smelled his cigar if the the wind hadn't been blowing from the stables." But the appearance of the wagonette whirling into garrison with the "all form of Col. Lawler, a dust colored figure from the crown of his felt hat down to ; his very boots, put an end to further re| marks. Morris hastened to meet his | guest, merely nodding' response to Lane's i courteous invitation to bring him to din! ner. [TO IlK CONTINirKD NKXT WKKK.] ! A Novki. Exfekiknck.?A negro i school teacher in Floyd county, <!u.. I hail a novel experience with one of j his pupils recently. Here is his story : , 4T tried, not long ago, to impress upon i my pupils the necessity of acquiring j knowledge. You must make y ourselves i familiar with books', I said. 'In fact j you must swallow books,' Of course ' I spoke figuratively; hut that night 1 the father of one my pupils called to ! see me in great distress. 'Tom,' he j gasped, 'have done swallowed a hook, I and I'm feared he gwine to choke to i I death ! Yo' better come 'n fish it out ' o' him !' I went in a hurry. Tom, a j poor fellow too ignorant to be anything j but a literal soul, had chewed up and j swallowed a part of a Webster's pri1 mary dictionary. I sent for a doctor, 1 and it required two hours, of his mosl i skillful work to save Tom's life." Jflisccllancouo grading. | 1 THE CALIFORNIA GOLD FEVER. I LONE GUADALUPE. A Desolate PmIBo Island Described by 1 Prentice Mulford. [Copyrighted by the Antbor.] IL WO hundred miles the Lower Cali- , fornia coast lies the tjjWuBpMi lone island of Guadaone of the twelve or twenty names which I I for centuries the Spaniards have been ; J applying to the various geographical | I divisions of the earth's surface, j Whitney talked of the plentifulness of ! sea elephant on the Guadalupe beaches; ! 1 presume the sea elephant is identical | with the sea lion. They resemble a lion j about as much as an elephant So the j prow of the Henry was turned toward I Guadalupe. While on this trip, one i morning before daylight 1 heard at inI tervals a strange noise, something bei tween a bellow and a creak. I thought j it at first the creaking of something | aloft but as it grew lighter I saw a ' strange looking head emerge momentarily from the water. It gave forth ! the same cry, dove and came up on the other side of the vessel. It was a seal pup, which the sailors said had lost its ; mother and followed the vessel, mistaking the hull for its maternal parent. I presume that seals have no recognized fathers to look after them. The poor thing, uttering its plaintive but discordant cry, must have followed us to i sea forty or fifty miles. I know not | whether the sailors' explanation of its i conduct be correct. Anyway it makes the occurrence more pathetic, and were I utterly unprincipled I should make an entire chapter describing how this pup st al followed the Henry during the voyage like a dog, being regularly fed, and ait it grew up came on board and was i ti.ught a number of accomplishments, a nong the rest that of supplying us with fish. Tis thus that a rigid adherence to v iracity spoils many an interesting and tl .rilling tale, and brings to him who practices it more poverty than pence. Guadalupe on the third day came in _ 1 Si gill,?a luue, wttvn wuaucu, muu snc|<ii iiie about forty miles in length. It soemed the very embodiment of loneliness. Some would also say of desolat on. as man is ever disposed to call any place he does not inhabit. But though Guadalupe contained not a single repres mtative of the most intelligent animal cn the planet, it sustained great herds of goats, sea birds and a little black and v/hite land bird, so tame and trustful as to perch and eat from Miller's and Whitley's tin plates during their former visit 1o the island. It was our business to murder all the mother sea lions who had established their nurseries at Guadalupe. A boat 1 nil of murderers was quickly sent on thore. We did not see boat or crew jigain for three days. Most of that period was spent by us in looking for the 1 roat, and by the boat's crew in looking nt us. They landed on the first day, I ound no seal, put off at dusk, lost us in iv fog, went ashore, sworn at the Henry's people for not sighting them, hauled iheir boat well up on the beach at the mouth of a deep canyon, supped on hard bread and water, and turning thgir craft bottom up, crawled under it for a bed quilt and went to Bleep on the sand. During the night a semi-hurricane, railed in those latitudes a "willa wall," rame tearing and howling down the ranyon. Striking the boat, it rolled it ! over and over among the rocks, smashed the frail sides and rendered it unseaworthy. For two days the crew roamed j up and down the island, living on shellj fish and the fresh water left standing in | pools, and trying to signal us by fires | built on the mountains. The captain ! was in a state of great perplexity at this i disappearance. But, having left a porj tion of the crew at St. Bartholomew's bay, he had not hands enough to send : another boat ashore and work the vessel Then he dare not come nearer the i island than three miles, fearing sunken | rocks and currents setting inshore. On the third night one of their fires was seen from the Henry. Standing in ! for it, by daylight the missing men were j seen making for us in an old yawl. Be| hind, full of water, was towed the shat; tered whale boat The yawl had been i found on the beach, probably left there i by former sealers. By stuffing all the } clothes they could spare* in its sun j vrarped cracks and constant bailing they managed to keep afloat long enough to reach us. They crawled on board?a pale, haggard, famished lot?and I was kept very : busy for a time ministering to their wants. They ate steadily for an hour. ! Even with this rescue a greater catastrophe than all came near happening. Becalmed and by means of a treacherous ; current we were being rapidly carried toward an enormous rock which towI ered sentinel-like alone a mile or more from the north end of the island. It | reached full 500 feet toward the clouds. Its perpendicular sides seemed built up i in artificial layers. Toward this the j Henry seemed helplessly drifting, and | the "Old Man," under the influence of combined anger and despair, jumped up and down in his tracks and howled on I the quarter deck as lie saw tne voyage approaching sneh an unfortunate termination. Fortunately a providential or accidental breeze came off the land just in time to give us steerage way. We trifled no more with Guadalupe, but sailed straight away. Prentice Mcltoed. WOXDKRFI'ITARMIjESS MEN. Bulwer, in his "Artificial Changeling," makes mention of one John Simons, a native of Berkshire, England, horn without arms or humls, who could write with his mouth, thread a needle, tie a knot, shuttle, cut and deal i a pack of cards, etc. This wonderful personage was exhibited in London in 1653. Stowe gives an account of a Hollander, horn without arms, who, while on exhibition in 1851, exhibited surprising feats of activity, such as flourishing a rapier, shooting an arrow at a J target, etc. ; John Sear, a Spaniard, also born without arms, was exhibited in London during the reign of King William, i lie could comb bis hair, shave himself, ! fill a glass, thread a needle, embroider, write six different styles of "handwriting," play on several different kinds of musical instruments with his feet and toes. But William Kingston, of Ditchheat, Somersetshire, Endland, was "the most wonderful of all that wondrous crew. Concerning him a writer of The London Chronicle says : I put half a sheet of paper, with pen and ink, on the tloor before him. He threw off his shoes as he sat; took the inkstand in the toes of the left foot (having been horn without arms) and held the pen in those of the right. He then wrote three line lines, better than most peoi pie can with the lingers. He feeds himself, and can bring both his meat ai and bis broth to his mouth by holding It the fork or spoon in his toes. He b! showed me how he shaves. * * * He fc can dress and undress himself. He is ai a farmer by occupation ; milks his cows T with his toes, cuts his own hay and b< binds up his own bundles and carries hi it about the held for his cattle. In e< saddling and bridling his horse he does 8( it with his teeth. * * * He is so m strong in his teeth that he can lift ten hi pecks of beans with them, and he can U throw a hammer as far with his feet as J! most people can with their hands. U ^ F ON THE PICKET LINE. h Hilary A. Herbert, of Alabama, and y, a New York member of congress, were " seated in the cloak room of the house 8 not long ago, smoking fragrant Havan- ^ a*, writes Amos Cummines. in The ^ Herald. Colonel Herbert was in the Confederate army, and the New York ?! representative was sergeant-major of a New Jersey regiment. The fight at | Fredericksburg after the capture of the J* Heights in May, 1862, was the subject of conversation. The talk drew out 84 many a reminiscence. Each congress- 8< man told where his regiment was located during the battle. It was evi- 8 dent that they had been within hailing distance of each other for several hours, Jj nearly twenty-nine years ago. Col. Herbert was under Gen. Wilcox, near Bank's ford, when the heights were a taken. The sergeant-major crossed the river on pontoons a mile or more below e Fredericksburg, and was in the assault- 0 ing column on Sunday, May 3. His regiment scaled Mary's Heights near 8 the female seminary. It passed near * the spot where three brass cannon were captured from the Washington artillery, of New Orleans. Congressman a Coleman, a member of that very bat- 8 tery, was addressing the house while the colonel and the sergeant-mtyor !' were conversing. ^ Herbert went into the fight from c Wilcox's intrencbments at Bank's ford, 8 on Sunday morning, and the sergeant- ? major went out of the fight thirty-six hours afterward from the same in- a trenchments. The heights were car- 8 ried by the old Sixth corps. Sedgwick ^ made an effort to effect a junction with Hooker, at Chancellorsville, and the 8 fight at Salem church occurred on the same evening. Wilcox swung so far to the right that he flanked Sedgwick's 8 left, came down the hill, and recap- " tured Fredericksburg, leaving "Uncle 1 John" upon the heights. ? On Monday evening the Confederates * were re-enforced from Lee's army and made a charge upon the Union line. ? They were repulsed. After dark, . however, Sedgwick drew back. He ^ t occupied the intrenchments at Bank's ford, vacated by Wilcox. A pontoon v bridge had been built across the Rap- c pahannock late in the evening, and the Sixth corps recrossed the river be- 8 fore daylight. For weeks afterward the pickets con- v fronted each other, with the Rappahan- 8 nock between them. There was very little firing, and the utmost good feel * 1 nil. 4 4^1,1 lllg I'Xisieu. j. lie seigeuiu-uiajui luiu a story of a picket reserve on the Union side of the river. A Confederate officer of the day appeared early in the morning on the opposite bank. His rank and duty was indicated by his sash. The instant the officer in charge of the Union pickets saw him he shouted : "Turn out the guard, officer of the day!" The reserve fell in line and presented arms to the Confederate officer, who acknowledged the compliment with a graceful salute. There was so much good fellowship among the pickets that it excited comment among the division and brigade officers. Orders were finally issued on both sides to prevent the interchange of commodities. Col. Herbert's pickets were stationed at Scott's dam, half a mile above Bank's ford. One day, after the orders were issued, the colonel saw a stalwart Yankee wading across the river. The Yankee was within thirty feet of the Confederate shore when the colonel halted him. He was about to retrace his steps, when the colonel shouted: "Halt, come ashore." The Yankee held a newspaper, and said that he had come across to trade coffee, sugar and newspapers with the Confederate pickets, upon the distinct understanding that he would be allowed to return. "So I thought," the colonel shouted. "You deserve no consideration. You know it is against the orders on both sides. Come ashore, sir; you are aprisoner." The Yankee demurred. Thereupon the colonel drew his revolver, pointed it at him and said, "Obey orders. Come ashore instantly." The Yankee waded ashore, and stood upou the bank in his wet clothes. He was a strong stalwart fellow, and had a manly bearing. Marching up to his captor, he saluted him, thumped his breast, and said, in a firm voice: "Colonel, shoot me, and don't take me prisoner. I prefer death to capture. I have been in the army only two weeks. I came from Michigan. I would rather suffer death than have my friends learn of my capture under the present circumstances." The appeal touched the colonel's heart. He regarded the soldier fixedly for a moment or more, and then said : | "Return to your lines. But understand j that hereafter any man that crosses I the river will be detained as a ]>ris- i oner." 1 The soldier thanked him, and waded ! back to the Union jackets. | Upon arriving at Gen. Wilcox's headquarters, Col. Herbert said: "Gen- t j eral, I have broken your orders. I 1 have allowed a prisoner to return to s his lines." He then told the story of I his adventure with the Yankee picket, t "Well, colonel," replied Gen. Wilcox, s after due reflection, "if I had been in c ; your place, I should have done pre- 1 I eisely us you did." f And that was the end of it. i In further conversation in the cloak- s room, the colonel said that not long t | afterward he was riding along the 1 ; picket lines, when he heard a Yankee > ! shout from the other side of the river : i | "Ho! Johnny, have you any good 1 ! horses over there?" t "Yes, heaps of them," was the s reply. * i "Well, send one over, and we'll beat t I you running#" the Yankee shouted. i "Not much," was the answer. < j "You always beat us running. You | have had more experience than we've i | had." ' t A week or so afterward the colonel t j was again riding along the picket line. ! He saw in the river a little boat, a foot ^ or more long, exquisitely moulded. It j i hud no sail, but bore a tiny mast, j from which a little Confederate Hag 1 floated. It came across the river ? | slmvly. ami reached the exact point occupied by a confederate picket. t "What is that?" the colonel asked, t as the picket lifted the boat from the ( water. The soldier somewhat hesita- i s tiugly passed it to the colonel. Upon i -? " ?i 'i u*:?t. ! . I me nag was me nuru i/iaic. ?? mi- i t in the bout was a little package of sugar j > and eoti'ee, with a note saying, "Please j exchange tobacco for these." The I t boat had a little rudder canted to the j 2 right. The tiller was lashed to the ! 1 gunwale with twine. With this ar- i rangenient the current of the river t held the little craft steady, kept her i i upon her course, and carried her direct j t to her point of destination. j ^ Nobody seemed to know anything j l about the boat. The Confederate | r picket was dumb. Hut the colonel j t j readily understood where it came from, j c i Some of his soldiers were from Mobile. I <. ad were experienced naval architects, c ; was a rebel craft designed to run the r lockade. It had done so successfully r ?r many days, and its cargoes of sugar o ad coffee were highly appreciated, t he lines of the little craft were so c sautiful that the colonel carried it to r is tent and placed it among his camp f juipage. He intended to keep it as a i mvenir, but when he awoke next e lorning it was gone. No one could tell I ow it disappeared. Whether it re-en- d :red the sendee or not is not known. I [any years afterward the colonel was ii illing the story while on a visit to c redericksburg. A Virginian heard j im, and burst into laughter. "I know 'hat has become of that boat," he said, s It is now in the house of a wealthy e entleman living in Washington, and I t on't believe that five hundred dollars c '/Mil/1 Knv if 11 j VU1U uuj *v? c At this time Gen. Hooker, of Missisppi, appeared in the cloak room, 'he general has but one arm. Someling was said about the fidelity of the ' lacks to their masters. He told a c DUching story about a faithful black j jrvant upon his plantation near Jaok- 1 an. Before he went to assist in the j efence of Yicksburg he called the ! fave one morning, kncPtoBf' > J ake the horses on the place to a plan- 1 ation a hundred miles below, where ' hey would be safe from capture. 1 "I can'tdo it, massa. . You mus'n't 1 sk me to do it," the negro replied. ' "Why, what's the matter ?" the gen- 1 ral said, "you have never refused to { bey me before ?" ' "I know dat, massa," the negro an- 1 wered, "but where you goes, I goes. 1 can't leab you, 'deed I can't. Please J on't send me away, massa." ' The general advised him to remain t home, but the attachment of the ' ervant was so strong that with ( ears in his eyes, he begged to be aljwed to go with his master. He went ' o Vicksburg with him. They \yere ( amped within the intrenchments in a 1 :ully seaming the bluffs. The gener- 1 ral's tent was very close to the line, 'he negro was always at his side, 1 waiting orders. It was an exposed ' ituation. His master frequently urged im not to expose himself, but in vain. ' Anally the tent was moved back a hort distance, so as to be more shel- J ered. A day or two afterward the faithful 1 lave was holding the stirrup of his 1 aaster's horse. The general was in he act of mounting, when a shell tore ' iff his arm and decapitated the negro, le fell like a log. The firing was so 1 errible that it was dangerous to car- 1 y the general up the bluff. He was ! iorne up the ravine, where the bleed- [ ng stump was bandaged by a surgeon, le lay upon his back all the evening 1 matching the shells and shot passing >ver him into the town. ; After dark he was carried up the lope into the city. Quarters had been ecured for him at the home of a friend, vhere he remained until Peinberton urrendered. THE OTHER SIDE. Jared Lincoln, an uneducated man, vho had made within a few years a arge fortune by speculation, while Iriviug out to Central park, passed Mr. >minsR. ft rtlainlv dressed, middle-aged jentleman who was on foot. "That man," he said to his wife, 'belongs to one of the oldest families n New York. His grandfather was me of the signers of the Declaration. . ;Ie has been brought up in the midst )f refined and scholarly people. He jelongs to a set into which I cannot mter. I would give half I am worth or his start in life." In the meantime Mr. Crounse looked it the carriage and its sumptuous jquipments, and thought "If I had lome of that man's money how many somforts I could bring into our bare ives." . Down one of the leafy avenues a nan sauntered thoughtfully, whose rnme is known throughout the counry as a brilliant magazinist. One of the foremost men in Wall itreet rode past him. The men, havng met at the club, bowed to each >ther. "Ah," thought the novelist, 'if I could live without writing anyhing but checks!" "That fellow is famous!" thought Dives on horseback, with an envious ligh. He had in his pocket-book a rellow newspaper clipping in which lis name occurred as having made a ew remarks at a dinner. Dives thought of this clipping and aid to himself, "What happiness it nust be to see one's name in print svery day! How much liner a gift han money is fame." The minister's wife, whom somebody rnd taken out to drive, saw one of the larishioners pass a woman who ruled n an exclusive, fashionable clique. A hrill almost of envy disturbed her :alm breast. How pleasant it must >e to live in a social atmosphere, pure ind refined, to escape all that is vulvar and painful in life! The other woman's eyes grew trou>led as she looked wistfully into the ierene face of the clergyman's wife, "O, to have her faith !" she thought. 'When sickness and death come, to enow where to turn as she does ! To ive always apart from the world, close o God!" So each man and woman went 011 a eparate way, envying the other. For he great mistake in life is that each >f us overrates the peculiar blessings vhich God has bestowed upon our irother, and is blind to the good which ie nas given given iu u?. A PARROT'S HAPPY HIT. Mrs. M. T., a well-known lady of his city owns a parrot known as Martoe, of which an amusing story is told, iaysa Norfolk correspondent. Mrs. T. lought the bird a year or two ago from i sailor, whose pet he had been for ieveral voyages, and shortly after purihasing him became aware that Markoe lad shared the convivial tastes of his irst owner, and had a decided weak-. less for wine and even something itronger. She endeavored to break he parrot of the habit by allowing lim to have no stimulants, but Markoe, vhen under their influence, was so lever and amusing that visitors often icgged to give him a glass of wine for he pleasure of hearing him talk. The iervants also often entertained themselves by making him drunk on beer, tc., so that Markoe was very often ntoxicated, in spite of his mistress's lisapproval. On one occasion he had hail some hanipagne from the lady's nephew, md was very hilarious, when she said o him : "You're drunk, sir, and had better jo away. I don't want to see you till ,'ou'rc over it." I'pon this he slunk away and hid limself, feeling he was in disgrace, and ilso to sleep it off. In a short while a gentleman coming o call on Mrs. T. was ushered into he room in which Markoe lay con ealed. Presently the visitor heard a levere displeased voice saying: You're drupk, sir, and had better jo away. I don't wan't to see you till ,*ou're over it." He caught up his hat, ami was in ' * i* 1-! A ?K IH' ;U'l OI IlIMllllg iiuiii mi* mum, nmu ilrs. T. entered it, so he only made ler a hasty bow and left the house. The lady had heard her words to he parrot repeated, and, understandng that the caller had mistaken he voice for hers, was overwhelmed vith dismay at what the gentleman mist have thought of her discourteous md outrageous assertion, or, rather, iccusation. She looked for and soon liscovered Markoe under the folds >f a portiere which hung across the oor oy wnicn sue nau euwreu w? oom. She was about1 then to write a tote to her friend apologizing for the ccurrence and explaining it to him, hough she feared he would scarcely redit the story, when to her amazeaent a servant brought her a note rora the gentleman she was writing to, u which he stated that he acknowldged with humility that he had perlaps taken too much wine with his tinner, but had hoped in calling on ler that she would not have detected y a a ah? done so. however. he iffered his most abject apologies and a trayer for forgiveness. Mrs. T. declares she never told the tory, bnt it leaked out in some unaccountable way, being really too good 0 be lost, and it is considered rather langerous to mention parrots to the gentleman in question. WHAT TRAINED ^SENSES CAN DO. The talk drifted to. the education of he senses to a higher degree than :ommon, and one man said: emarkable how well a perftimeT*^ earns to recognize a scent. In testing 1 sweet-smelling liquid, he wets the >ase of his left thumb with a little of Ttou-.ho rub* the place rapidly fvith his right hand. The aloohoTTn " which the essence is dissolved, being the more volatile, is at once evaporated, and the substance which emits the xlor remaining behind, he can smell tin its purity. Of course it is an iaay thing to recognize the principal >dors that are in use, but when several ire mixed, as is common, his task becomes more difficult. Yet a skilled man cannot only tell you what three or four perfumes enter into the composition of the one he is testing, but ilso, roughly, the relative proportions of each." v "It is easy to tell the relative amount of wool and cotton in a piece of color?d underwear, when you know how," said another man. "Men who have made the subject a specialty can do * this by holding the cloth in the light and looking along it. The cotton and wool can be distinguished by the difference in their colors which exists, although the same dye was used for both. The untrained eye could hardly detect the fact that the cloth bad two shades, but the skill that comes from long practice makes the thing simple." Another of the party, who has had a great deal to do with books, told of the way in which he knew an English from an American book. "The books printed in England," he said, "in nearly every case have a pleasanter [>dor than those made here. rne difference is said to be largely due to the effect of the sea air, but the kind of paste, ink, paper and binding used probably has something to do with it. There is also a marked difference in the smell of books printed in this city. I would stake anything on my ability to recognize any book published by a certain house in this city, merely by putting the volume near my nose." WHY SHE DIED. While attending a patient in my earlier professional life?a woman who was in the first stages of intermittent fever?I found one day on making my usual call, a small congregation of women had assembled in the sick room. As I entered I heard the remark: "My Cousin Samantha's husband was tuk jist this ar way and only lasted nine days." "Yes," said a slow-spoken, floridfaced, fleshy woman, "my daughter's ? husband's sister had the same sickness she's got, and we had the funeral in a week?just a week to a day from the time she was tooken. I went to the funeral and counted forty teams in the percession." "What be yer a givin', doctor?" asked a third. "I tasted it and it 'pears like rhubarb and ging-shang to me, and ef 'tis, why, la'! 'twont do her a bit of good." "Doctor, did ye ever try pennyroyal tea ?" asked another. "My Aunt Hanner's father-in-law, who doctored round here nigh onto thirty-seven years, used ter say as how it did beat nater, how much good a poultice did, made of carrots and 'lasses, and he always had one put on. Shan't we try one, doctor?" "Elderberry juice an' sassafras an' Scotch snuff was what cured me when I was same as she is," volunteered another. "I writ to her mother last night that A' ~ ? V. /\n am/4 OV? rt'/l KOHOP mere vvuau i uu nupco auu ouv v* come at onct and take care of the young ones," said a small, vinegarfaced, lean woman, who was sitting in a remote corner. My patient did not recover. How could she? Neighborly kindness killed her. She had not the strength of Samson ; neither had she the toughness of a thanksgiving turkey. "The Good Old Times."?The first draft of the laws of Massachusetts, prepared by John Cotton, a Puritan minister from Boston, England, embraced the following stringent specifications : Whoever shall profane the Lord's day by doing unnecessary work, by unnecessary traveling, or by sports and recreations, he or they who so transgress shall forfeit forty shillings, or be publicly whipped ; but if it shall appear to have been done presumptuously, such person or persons shall be put to death, or otherwise severely punished at the discretion of the court. No one shall run on the Sabbath day, or walk in his garden or elsewhere, except reverently to or from meeting. No one shall travel, cook victuals, make beds, sweep house, cut hair or shave on the Sabbath day. No woman shall kiss her child on the Sabbath or fasting day. If any man shall kiss his wife, or wife her husband, 011 the Lord's day, the party in fault shall be punished at the discretion of the magistrates. How to Save Doctors' Bills.? Never go to bed with damp or cold feet. Never lean with the back upon anything that is cold. Never begin a journey until the breakfast has been eaten. Never take warm drinks and immediately go out in the cold. After exercise of any kind never ride in an open carriage or near the window of a car for a moment; it is dangerous to health or even life. When going from a warm atmosphere into a cooler one, keep the mouth almost closed, so that the air may be warmed by its passage through the nose ere it reaches the lungs. Keep the back, especially between the shoulder-blades, well covered; also the chest well protected. In sleeping in a cold room, establish the habit of breathing through the nose, and never with the mouth open. Which Sokt ark YouV?This is Charles Kingsley's classification of the whole of us. lie wrote it to some young men infatuated with gambling : My dear young men, the human race may, for practical purposes, bedevided into three parts: 1. Honest men; who mean to do right, and do it. 2. Knaves; who mean to do wrong, and do it. .'3. Fools; who mean to do whichever of the two is pleasanter. And these last may be divided again into: Black fools who would rather do wrong, but dare not, unless it is the fashion. White fools; who would rather do right, but dare not, unless it is the fashion.