Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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lewis m. gbist, proprietor, j $ttiie)jeitiirnl Jfantiljf ^tebispaptr: |for t|r IJromotion of tjie |)ff{itifal, Social, ^?ritnllnral anil Commercial Interests of % Sontji. TERMS?$2.50 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE. "VOL. 38. YOEKYILLE, S. O.. THURSDAY, OCTOBER 5, 1883. NO. 40. mftttrg Idler. MY DREADFUL COUSIN. "It will be such a very long day, auntie." "That depends altogether on yourself, Letty." "I am perfectly certain that it must inevitably be the very longest day of my life." Well, well; you know best. At any rate, you are provided with books, flowers, a piano and a new frock?all that young ladyhood most ardently desires, I suppose. And you needn't see anything of Tom." "How can I help it ?" "Go into the gardeu when he is in the house ; go into the house when he is in the garden. Shut the door of the drawing-room in his face (he is not likely to trespass in your domain, though); have your luncheon sent in to you on a tray, if you require absolute seclusion. I can think of nothing more at this moment." "O, dear! it will be such a long, long day, auntie." "So you said before. Well, I am truly sor'***" A 1? ?i>l\f? andnfud 1 | ry. * vviiac can t lh3 uuieu iuuoo guuiuvuj | you know. Good-by, child." My aunt thereupon folded me in a voluminous embrace, and mounted into the fly, a musty and antique vehicle, which had been hired from a neighboring town to convey her dozen packages to the station. My aunt, a maiden lady of mature years and energetic habits, was going to spend the day with another maiden lady of mature years, her sister, who lived at E??, preferring the gay vortex of a cathedral; town to the simple pleasures of the city. A'Whore's the basket of cowslips, Letty, and the bacon ? And, oh, the cream !" "It's all right, auntie; cream, bacon and all. But, dear me, dear me, how I wish the day were over." "Xever mind that, you foolish girl; it's positively wicked. And you might change your mind after all before evening." "Oh! no, indeed." "Well, good-by, again; good-by." The driver clicked his whip, the old horse started, the fly gave sundry creaks and lurches, my aunt waved her handkerchief, and I was left standing lonely on the door-step, while the departing vehicle meandered slowly through the trees, and was presently lost to sight. Then I turned to go indoors, revolving in my thoughts how I could best avoid Tom. But ere I could solve the difficult problem, a loud, rough voice called out from the shrubbery: "Hullo, Cousin Lettice, why I'm just a minute too late, ain't I ? She's off, ain't she ?" -*- ? r i:?j "Aunt Mao nas just gone, - * iciuucu mtu chilly dignity. Tom, in his brief speech, had already offended me twice. I did not like to be called Lettice ; I could not endure the word "ain't." However, he emerged from the shrubbery as unconcerned and cheerful as usual, and came up to where I stood. He was dressed in white flannel from head to foot, and was lazily swinging his long arms to and fro. "I say, Cousin Lettice, come and play tennis." "Thank you, Tom ; I am busy, and would you please kindly to remember to call me Letitia ?" "Certainly, certainly. My dearest love, I could not wish her A name more charming than Letitia.' "Or shall I call you Tishy. 'Little Miss Tishy, Her conduct was fishy,'" "Tom I" "Yes, Letitia." "I am going 111, and?and?I shall be extremely busy all day." "Oh, indeed! Well, so shall I; too busy to talk to you, Miss Tishy. I know how to take a hint as well as anybody, believe me." So saying, and with a very red face, Tom strode away, whistling "La-di-da" as he went. What a bumpkin he was, to be sure, and what aggressively and irritatingly vulgar manners some unkind fairy godmother had bestowed on him ! It was all very well that he pretended to study Latin and Greek while he speut the Summer witn Aunt i\iao; ue was i?u more likely to take a double first-class in boating or cricketing, or become a senior wrangler with a fishing-rod, than to excel in any purely mental struggle. As for myself, I was a young Londoner on a fortnight's visit to Aunt Mab, and a garden-party at Fulham or Chiswick (with plenty of strawberries and cream, a couple of laburnum trees and the Hungarian band), realized my notion of the country far more than this quiet nook in the wilds of Devonshire, in which, however, I had already spent ten idle days, wandering about with my aunt, making uneatable cheeses under the supercilious direction of the dairymaid, and perpetually squabbling with Cousin Tom. Tom had walked away now, whistling and aggrieved, and I went indoors and opened the piano, and practiced a nocturne by Chopin. 1 could hear Tom in his study, stamping up and down, and banging the door of the bookcase. Then all was still, and I knew he had settled down to read ; but I practiced diligently, for 1 reflected that music might annoy him, and interfere with his meditations on Horace of Euripides. I distinctly hated Tom ; I must have done so, for I longed to do him an injury. It only irritated me to see that Auut Mab liked him, and that the vicar, the housekeeper, the dogs and cats, and all the dirty little village children loved and idolized him. But, of course, in a sleepy and benighted village there is nobody for anybody else to like, and the one .young man in the place must needs grow spoiled and overbearing. An hour passed, and my fingers grew tired, and my head heavy. Had Tom been any one but Tom, I should have almost regretted my j refusal of his offer of lawn tennis. Lawn tennis 1 the very word was refreshing, and suggested pleasant pastime and good fellowship. 1 left the piano and turned to the open window ; the garden was cool and green, the room was close and decidedly dreary. Finally I sallied forth, my complexion protected by the shady hat and gauze* veil that Londoners deem necessary for rural life, and carrying in a basket the latest invention of yellow-brown art needle-work, intending to spend a pleasant hour in the shade. But I had not gone a dozen yards before I came upon Tom, partly asleep, his legs and arms stretched over half a dozen chairs, two Latin books and a big dictionary lying on the gravel path, and the last number of Punch spread open on his knee. "Oh, dear, I am afraid I have disturbed you," said I. ! "Not in the least," answered Tom l>enig 1.1.. | nanny. "I thought you were in your study." "So I was, but that infernal noise of your piano?" * 1 "I forgot you are not fond of music." "On the contrary, Hove music. It was music that drove me out of the house, and caused me to find this delicious calm retreat. Have a chair ?" "No, thank you ; I am going in." "What, when you have only just come out ? IIow restless you are ! You had better sit down." "Why should I V" "It is your duty to entertain me." "My duty, indeed 1" "Did' not Aunt Mab bid you to do so ? No ? Well, anyhow, she told me to entertain you, Cousin Lettice." "She told you ?" "Certainly. 'Tom, dear boy' (Aunt Mab always calls me dear boy), 'Tom, my dear boy, you are bucolic, and Lettice isn't anything of the sort. She must tame you." "Aunt Mab never spoke like that." "She did ; to that effect, at least. And she added: "Tom, dear old man, it's your manifest duty to be tamed.'" "Oh, Cousin Tom !" "Oh, Cousin Lettice (Letitia I mean), I do so want to be tamed !" But Tom, as he made this apparently humble speech, looked up with so defiant and impertinent an expression on his countenance, that I turned angrily from him and walked quickly and in silence across the lawn toward the house. As I went I heard a peal of derisive laughter, and I knew that Tom was mocking me. Oli, how I hated Tom ! I meditated on revenge, however, and when the luncheon hour approached, I determined to follow out my aunt's suggestion, and therefore ordered that it should be served on a tray in the drawing-room. Five minutes after I had given the order, there came a knock at the door, and Tom walked in. "You are ill," he said abruptly. "Not at all." "What is the matter then ?" "May I not wish to be alone ?" "Oh, certainly." As red as fire, Tom retraced his steps, but, equally suddenly, he changed his intention, and recrossed the room rapidly to where I sat. "This is all nonsense, Letty. You are really ill." "I am not ill." "Either you are ill, or you must be able to walk into the dining room. I shall send for a doctor at once." "You will do no such thing, Tom ; I will not have it." "I shall do what I think necessary. In my aunt's absence I am the only responsible person in the house." "You are not my keeper." "I am so long as you require one, and when there is no better person tcr watch over you. T nffo 'lnntf Ko aillv T.of. mp fppl vnnr I UUUICj JLJVltVJ j UV'U V P^XJ UAAAJ A4WV BMV -w^. J | pulse." "I will not; I am perfectly well, I assure ; you." "Then you have been humbugging." "I don't know what you call humbugging." i; "Letty, Letty I Hut these are London man- j ners, I suppose, or what the people used to call j the vapors." "In the time of Queen Elizabeth." I "No, later than Elizabeth. Now come to lunch." "I will not." "You will not ? Why can't you say noth- 1 ing else 1 and you are half crying! These are hysterical symptoms; I must certainly send '< for a doctor." Tom sat down at the table, squared his 1 elbows, and proceeded to indite in a large bold hand the words: "My dear sir." He wrote no more; unable to contain my rage and indignation, I seized the sheet of note paper on which he had begun to write, and, crumpling it up in my trembling hands I threw it violently in his face. ' He rose quickly and started at me. "The devil!" he began, and then, with sud- 1 den coldness: "I .think you are quite right * not to come into the dining-room, Cousin i Lettice," he said, and thereupon he stalked 1 out, and banged tire door. I burst into a passion of tears. Anger, 1 shame and humiliation were swelling my i heart. Suddenly I dried my tears. Had not 1 Tom, so to speak, forbidden my presence in 1 11? ~ O rtoucinrr nvnn t A 1-IiU UIlllU^ iuuill r If llUUUl (muoin^, VTVU W smooth my disordered hair, I rushed into the < room where luncheon had been served, and ! where the substantial repast still graced the table, though Tom's folded napkin and un- < used knife and fork bore evidence to the fact i that he had not yet eaten. Xor did heapparently intend to do so, for through the open win- ?' dow came the sound of a strident voice that < said: i "Put Jerry in the dog-cart directly, Wilk- 1 ins ; I am goin to drive into Eddiscombe." < I had rather have died than have owned it, ' and yet I felt myself vanquished. Tom was i a rough countryman, and I* was a civilized f London girl; he was, of course, unused to the 1 ways and wiles of a woman, while at balls and ) kettledrums I had boasted many a conquest. 1 Somehow, however, I could not manage Tom ; i I could not even prevent his managing me. < Furthermore, a sense of depression actually came over me at the thought of his going out j for the afternoon; surely, in Aunt Mab's ! absence, it was his bounden duty to be my squire?nay, my slave. I ate my luncheon, however, as I was very ' hungry, and I sat on feeling cross and lonely, i moodily sipping my aunt's home-made ginger- ' beer with the melancholy reflection that it was not more flat than all the world besides to 1 ine, this long, long day, of all my days the ] flattest. * i Suddenly the door burst open. "Down, Sambo ; down, down, Cliloe," < quoth my cousin to the big dogs that accom- s pauied him, barking vociferously, and jump- ' ing on hirn with delight. ? "I say, Lettie (Letitia, I mean,) I've ordered the old trap round. I'm going to drive you ' to Eddiscombe." i "Are you ?" < "I'm sorry, you know," began Tom in a i bungling sort of way, "that I?I?I lost my temper, but I couldn't help it." t "l'ou were extremely rude," I answered 1 with dignity. "And you ? what are you V" asked Tom < with a laugh. "You'd better accept my apology with grace, Letty, before my humility dies out altogether. It's safe not to last long. 1 Go put on your hat and tippet." My what ?" : "Your bonnet and cloak, if you like that ' better. Of course. Tishy. I know that it is . simply idiotic for a man to lose his temper ! with a woman.'1 ' "That is true." "A woman may do what she likes ; it is all ! silly childishness, like the scratching of a kitten, or the anger of a young canary! A 1 man shouldn't mind, if he is anything of a < fellow, and, of course, he doesn't mind really." "My dear Tom," I asked with some sar- ' casm, "why you seek my society if I am so ; silly V" "Why do you seek mine?" retorted Tom j quickly. "Why did you come into the diningroom, Miss J>tty V" "I?I didn't seek--" < "Oh, yes, you did. Well, you are a dreary, ' lonely child, and?don't contradict, Tishy?I pity you and want to cheer you up. Besides, you : are not bad looking, though you are my cousin. There's soft sawder for you ! Why, you i have been taught in books, Letitia, that wo- i man's beauty is the main spring of men's great deeds. What a poor little weak hand < it is!" added Tom, incoherently, taking my feeble member into his large bronzed palm. "I don't wan't it kissed, though," said I, angrily snatching it away jusi m nine iu < avert the catastrophe. "IIow dare you, Tom !" i U4I dare do all that may become a man."' < replied Tom grandiloquently. "Do go and dress, Letty. Better a drive with a cousin and the bitter herb of tobacco than a dull af- : ternoon and only the stalled ox of cold beef to : comfort you." "Who is silly now ? But you have eaten no cold beef yourself." "I stuffed myself with a late breakfast. Besides, you are like a saintly vision?I see i you better when I am fasting. Down, Sambo, 1 down, sir. Now sit up and beg; of course s I you must put on your best manners like your i master, for the sake of this fine lady from : London!" i My aunt's dog-cart was a vehicle in which she would never trust herself, and it was therefore kept solely for the use of Tom. As for : Jerry, she was a good, quiet beast. Her name ! was originally Egeria, but the stable-boy had j j contracted and vulgarized this appellation, j ; much as the Aryan races have amalgamated i | the noble Sanskrit roots into their divers j modern tongues. ! Jerry trotted on affably, and my cousin, as \ j we passed between the high hedges that wore i ! the green mantle, discoursed with erudition ! of the neighborhood. "So von see. Lettice." said Tom for the j : fifth or sixth time, "that, when the old squire I ' died, he had got all his property comfortably | ; packed into a ring fence, and when his first: I wife's stepdaughter succeeded to her great- j ; aunt, who, as 1 told you, was the squire's I i second, cousin, once removed? why Letitia, I ! ! do believe you are nearly asleep; you were ! j actually nodding!" "You are so?so entertaining, Tom. How j i pretty the wild violets are !" "Dog violets, you mean. "I don't choose to call them so." "As you please. A violet or a lettuce by j any other name?Hetty, I want to ask you one thing." "Well V" "Why are you so contradictious and quarrelsome V" "I never was called quarrelsome before, i Tom. I never am quarrelsome, except, perhaps-" "When you are with me. I understand. Well, I have a fellow feeling. You rub me up uncommonly." "And you annoy me constantly." "I get angry with you perpetually." "I dislike you positively. Really, dear Tom, you don't mind my speaking the truth ?" "Not in the least; it relieves my mind. Do you know, I have often felt quite alarmed at the strength of my aversion for you." "Well," said Tom with a half sigh, "this is the first object we have ever agreed upon. Let us be satisfied, Tishy, to think that we can agree on something." , Strangely enough, however, no woman wishes to be disliked, even by the object of her own detestation. "I wonder why you dislike me, Tom," I asked after a pause. It was foolish of me to ask, for of course Tom would answer in his usual bantering way. But no, he spoke slowly and almost softly. "I don't know, Tishy. It is owing to some intricate law or moral repulsion, I suppose?a sort of natural antipathy, the absolute reverse of elective affinity, in fact,. ? I do not like thee, Doctor Pell, Tho reason why I cannot tell.' But why do you dislike me, Letitia ?" "Oh, because you are rough and rude, and bearish and obstinate, and generally vexatious and detestible," I answered with energy. Tom laughed. His momentary softness hadevidently departed. He pushed back from his brown forehead the woolen Tam o'.Shanter that imprisoned his crisp, curly locks; he turned an amused glance towards me, and then he hugged himself and laughed in the absurd boisterous manner that was peculiarly his own, displaying two rows of strong white teeth, the most perfect surely in all the world. "Here hold the reins, cousin mine, and I will relieve you of my detestible company a bit." He flung himself out of the dog-cart as he spoke, and proceeded to walk up the steep hill. Tom was singularly active and lithe; also he had a noble bearing. At the present time, he was clad in the most disgracefully old and badly made clothes it was possible to wear ; his short rough coat was ragged and illfitting, the sleeves and collar of his shirt were frayed at the edges, and there was an air, almost a majesty of grace about him that would have benefitted a paladin of romance, and that was plainly visible, despite his garb. As he strode on, his big sunburnt hand resting on the mare's shaggy mane, whistling as he went for very lightheadedness and joy of life, I could not help wondering why I disliked Tom so much, and whether indeed i* were possible to reconcile a thorough hatred of our cousins with a certain curious pleasure in their society. I wished that f could put my mediations in words, for Tom's benefit. What a pity, thought I, that women are so weak at definition and argument. In the very midst of my metaphysical wondering, Tom looked carelessly back over his 3houlder, and my eyes met his. lie laughed, he absolutely laughed again, a contemptuous mocking laugh that jarred upon my feelings. With a look of withering scorn, I leaned back in my seat and devoted myself altogether to the contemplation of the scenery around us. It was very lonely; we were uearing Eddiscombe, a quiet little town embowered in trees, overlooking a narrow stretch cf inland sea. The gray roofs shone in the sun, a thousand dancing lights gleamed in the rippling water ; an orchard, full of rosy, blossoming trees, lay 011 our right hand; to the left, undulating hills and slopes, while far beyond was the breezy moorland, and on the tiorizon some brown sails of fishing came skimming along the narrow blue line that was the cpen sea. "Pretty, isn't it?" asked Tom. "There's 10 place like England, no place like home, Lettice, after all." "But you have never traveled, Tom ?" "That's the very reason why," he replied, jomewhat enigmatically, and leaping lightly into the dog cart, he gave the bridle rains a jhake, and we set off at swinging trot. There are few things more delightful to my mind than passing quickly through the air, :ierched on the top of a high vehicle, the guidinee of which is entrusted to a steady hand, it is charming to close the eyes and dream, secure and comfortably at ease, though the sense of swiftness almost catches one's breath. *ome time had thus gone by peacefully when I said : "How pleasant this is, Tom !" But even while I spoke, there was a sudden strange sound as though something in the rickety harness had given away, and a black object swayed for a moment to and fro ibout the mare's neck close to her ears. The animal was frightened, doubtless for our speed increased tenfold, and the old dog-cart lurched and swung from side to side. "Oh, Tom, not so fast, not so fast!" I jried. "Hush," said Tom, under his breath. I stared at him a vague dread chilling my lieart. He was sitting bolt upright, nay he was half standing. Ilis lips, partly open, showed his tightly clenched teeth; his eyes were fixed, and he was frowning terribly. His hands held the reins in their powerful ;rasp, but the ribbons were strained, and seemed almost about to break asunder. And then I knew that Jerry was running iway, and that we were ih danger. I iaid my hand upon the reins. "Oh, Tom, let me help," I whispered. But Tom shook )ff my hand with no gentle movement. "Good God !" he said fiercely, "let me alone, will you ?" Sit still?yes, yes, you shall! l)o is I tell you ; do you hear ?" He glared at me for a moment, his blue eyes (lashed like steel, and his face was quite white; 1 had never dreamed that Tom could look thus. I sat perfectly still, not altogether from obedience from Tom, of couse but from a wish to helo him. from the consciousness that it was best to do so. Faster and faster grew Jerry's speed ; my head swam as the landscape seemed to fly past, and we dashed on, sometimes jolting and lurching dangerously over stones and rough places. Suddenly Torn turned to me. "Letty will you promise to remain still, what-1 ever happens" he murmured, hurriedly. "Yes, yes ; why ?" Tom gave no answer, but the next moment! the dog-cart swerved violently, the mare seem-1 ed about to climb the steep bank, and I was j scarcely conscious of anything more, except an overwhelming surging sound in my ears. Then directly after, as it appeared to me, I found myself unaccountably sitting on the soft grass, with Tom's arm around ray neck, and Tom's frightened eyes staring into mine. "Oh, Letty you are a real angel!" said Tom, incoherently. I could not speak ; I thought I was dreaming:; I put my hand to my head. I was hardly aware of my own identity ; it never occurred to me even to he angry at Tom's affectionate attitude. And yet it was all true ; the dogcart and the mare had vanished, and I, weak and giddy, was sitting by the roadside, leaning against this meekest and contritest of cousins. "Oh, Letty," said Tom, in a voice that was absolutely low and husky, "can you forgive me? Oh, Letty, ray darling, I nearly killed you when we were shot out of that beastly trap, and I picked you up and you had fainted, and I thought you were dead. Hut you are all right, ain't you? say that you are all right, Letty." There were two big tears in Tom's kind eyes as he gazed anxiously at me. 1 was all right ; so right, indeed, that I am convinced my strongest feeling at that particular moment was one of triumph that fate and .1 together ! had reduced Tom to such an abject condition, i Probably he discerned something of the kind | in my tell-tale face, for he smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. And then he blushed a deep red through his I brown skin. "Iietty, give me a kiss, just one kiss." "Why ? Oh, 1 can't, 1 can't." "Yes, you can, just one ; because you hate me," said Torn illogically, and so, without waiting my permission, he took me in his big, strong arms and held me. And a strange and i sudden knowledge came to n:e that our bate | was not hate after all, but only love indiguise. ' For indeed, from time immemorial, mythical and historical, lias not the foolish young god Ttvmip td disguise ? As we sat hand in hand, gazing at each other, there was no need for speech, and Tom and I were both silently agreed that we had loved each other all our lives. But at last he spoke: "Letty, do you remember the lirst time I ever saw you V" "Yes; it was at gran papa's house at Twick enham. We were a party of children playing together, and a horrifl little boy wanted to I put some earwigs down my back, and you i wouldn't let him." i "I gave him a jolly thrashing and made him ! eat one of his own earwigs. And the second j time I saw you Letty, you cried because I made you sit in a cherry tree and wouldn't | allow you to come down until you had eaten ! the cherries I had picked for you." "And my French governess cried also, and said you had a bad heart." "So she did. Well, the third time we met, i you were grown up and wouldn't speak to me at all, so it was my duty to be in Coventry." "And how about Jerry ?" I asked after a pause. "She is in the sand-pit, probably. I tried to upset the trap to save us from worse destruction. I didn't know exactly what to do," added Tom, ingeniously. "But the old mare disapproved of my plans, and spilt us, and went on her way rejoicing." "Oh, Tom !" "So, now you must walk home, Letty. Or stay, let us go as far as that wnite rarm-nouse. It will do you good to rest a bit, anyhow." We walked awhile, and then, at a turn in the road, we came tq^eryy, quietly grazing by the hedges, the broken reins hanging loosely I about her neck, and the old dog-cart, scarcely injured, still at her heels. She allowed Tom ! to go up to her and stroke her neck and examine her hocks and fetlocks with a learned hand, and led her, (for she was not in the least hurt) in the direction of the farm. Then Tom, who was master in such work, unharnessed Jerry and took her round to the stables, tended her and washed her, and mended the dog-cart with sundry ropes and bits of wood, thereby earning the unbounded admiration and respect of half a dozen loutish laborers, while I sat in the good wife's parlor drinking tea, and endeavoring to ascertain the exact ages of her nine children. It was late afternoon, almost evening, when Tom and I set out on our homeward drive. The aspect, of the landscape had altogether changed. The sun, though not set yet, was hidden behind a bank of shining clouds ; the quiet sea lay like burnished silver in the distance. The greenness of tlie earth seemed to have given place to subtle and harmonious grey, and over our happy spirits had fallen a radiant veil of silent, calm delight, that was somewhat similar. Tom drove slowly ; every now and then he turned toward me his joyous, loving eyes, and I stole my hand gently into his. It was dark when we reached home. Aunt -*r 1 - ? i-:..,11? .,~i Alai) was in an agony ui tuuujy aunujuiuc, anxiously expecting us. "Why, Letty?why, my dear, how late you are!" "Oh, no, it is not late, aunty, surely." "But it is. And you have had such a long day, you poor dear I and you have been with Tom after all. Why, I was positively afraid something had hapi>ened. Has he been very rude, my dear, and bothered you very much." "Oh, Aunt Mab, Tom is really never very rude!" "Well, I don't know ; you said so yourself, sometimes. But, never mind, the longest day comes to an end, child." "Dear Aunt Mab, it has been a lovely day ! only I am sorry it is over." My aunt started at me with undisguised amazement. "Have you lost your senses, child ?" "She did at one time," said Tom composedly. "But she has found them now." And then he laughed, a happy and very loud laugh that sometimes did not jar upon my nerves in the least, and then he seized Aunt Mab by both her hands and hugged her rapturously. "The truth is, Lefctv and I are going to be married, and so we mean to spend many long days together." "Well," said Aunt Mab, as soon as she had regained her breath, "people do say that it is well to begin with a little aversion." "But it was the dog cart," I pleaded incoherently. "Ah, I see," said Aunt Mab, nodding her head. But she did not see, quite. For none but Tom and I could possibly know how happy we were at that time, and what is more, none can know how truly and intensely happy we have been since then. We never quarrel now?never ; I think we got through all our quarreling beforehand. Some folks get tired of their love making before long, but we have still a great deal of that in the future, I trust. We have bought a new dog-cart, and when Tom and I go contentedly driving up and down tne steep Devonshire lanes, Aunt Mab smiles and calls us Darby and Joan. And sometimes when Tom is in a quiet poetic mood (which doesn't happen very often, by-the-by) I whisper to him softly, as I lean my face against his broad shoulder : "Dear Tom, let us pray that we may live long, long years together, and then at last I shall say to you : 'John Anderson, iny jo, John, We clnnib the hill thegither ; And many a canty day, John, We've had wi* ane anither; Now we maun totter down, John, But haud in hand we'll go, And sleep thegither at the foot, John Anderson, my jo.' " tig" Throughout the universe are scattered myriads of star systems, each appearing to the unaided eye as a single point?so great is the distance from us?but each consisting of two or more great blazing suns, widely separated but revolving about a common centre of gravity, and doubtless attended by planets traversing bewilderingly complicated orbits. Of the double stars many systems have components of different colors the colors being complementary. This peculiar feature must produce a striking effect upon the planetary attendants of the colored suns. "What," says Mr. W. Dobreck in a recent paper on double stars, "must l>e the nature of those worlds illumined by two different suns, one yellow and another purple ? Now rises the one and all is clothed in yellow, now the other, and illuminated from complementary sources, every object appears in its natural color. Then sets the yellow sun, and what must be the diversityuif the effects as it approaches the horizon! And, behold, nature puts on a purple mantle. Then also that sun sets, and in the darkness of night, though there is seldom night where there are two suns, the starry heavens are seen .there much the same as here, except perhaps for moons reflecting Jight from the differently colored suns. Hut stars that seem very large to us are hardvisible there, while our sun is perceived in the telescopes of the mysterious beings that inhabit those strange globes as only a faint star, and metaphysicians there prove from a priori considerations that no life could bask in the feeble glare of a single sun?how all would famish but for the opposite effect of the two suns. And no doubt life there is heightened, seeing how glorious is the creation on this poor orb that is kept alive by but one sun." What a Hoy Will Do.?An exchange says a boy will tramp 247 miles in one day on a rabbit hunt and be limber in the evening ; when if you ask him to go across the street and borrow Jones' two-inch auger, he will be as stiff as a meat block. Of course he will. And lie will go swimming all day and stay in the water three hours at a time, and splash and dive and paddle and puff, and next morning he will feel that an unmeasured insult has been olfered him when lie is told by his mother to wash his face carefully so as not to leave the score of the ebb and (low so plain to be seen under hisgills. And he'll wander around a dry creek bed all the afternoon piling up a pebble fort, and nearly die when his big sister I wants him to please pick up a basket of chips for the parlor stove. And he'll spend the biggest part of the day trying to corner a stray mule or a bald backed horse for a ride, and ! feel that all life's charms have fled when he | comes to drive the cows home. And lie'l turn j a ten-acre lot upside down for ten inches of: angle-worms, and wish for a voiceless tomb j when the garden demands his attention. Hut j all the same when you want a friend who will I stand by you and be true to you in all kinds of weather, enlist one of those same boys.? Jlawkciie. UlisMUauMUS gUadhuj. FOOLING THE OL1) MAN. "Variegated dogs" said the storekeeper, "what kind of a game is that? You have not played another Daisy trick upon your pa, have you ?" "O, no it was nothing of that kind. You know pa thinks he is smart. He thinks because he is forty-eight years old that he knows it all, but it don't seem to me as though men of his age, that had sense, would let a tailor palm him off a pair of pants so tight that he would have to use a button-hook to button them, but they can catch him on everything, just as though he was a kid smoking cigaretts. "Well, you know pa drinks some. The night the new club opened he came home pretty fruitful, and next day his head ached so he said he would buy me a dog if I would go down and get a bottle of polly nurious water for him. You know that dye house on Grand avenue, where they have got the four white Spitz dogs. When I went after the pe11 nrinno ur-.ifor I iiniippfl tllPV llflfl heeil COlorilllT muivun "l,vv* * *?v?wivw? " J " o their dogs with the stuff, awl I put up a job with the dye man's little boy to help me play it on pa. They had one dog dyed pink, another blue, another red, and another green, and I told the boy I would treat him to ice cream if he would let out one at a time, when I came down with pa, and call him in and let another out, and when we went away to let them all out. What I wanted to do was to paralyze pa and make him think he had got got 'em, got the dogs the worst way. "So, about ten o'clock, when his head got cleared off, and his stomach settled, he changed ends with his cuffs, and we came down, and I told him I knew where he could get a splendid white Spitz dog for me for five dollars, and if he would get it, I would never do anything disrespectful again, and would just set up nights to please him and help him up stairs and get seltzer for him. So we went by the dye house, and just as I told him I didn't want anything but a white dog, the door opened and the pink dog caine out and barked at us, and I said 'that's him,' and the boy called him back. Pa looked as though he had the colic, and his eyes stuck out, and he said, 'Hennery, that's a pink dog,' and I said 'no, it is a white dog, pa,' and just then the green dog came out, and I asked pa if it wasn't a pretty white dog, and pa, he turned pale and said, "why boy, that's a .green dog. What's got into the dogV I told him he must be color blind, and was feeling in my pocket for r> nt..m frt fV,o rlurt !itul f-<i]linor liim hp must a OL1UJJ tu tic tlic ...... ... be careful of his health or he would see something worse tlyjm green dogs, when the green dog went in and the blue dog came rushing out and barked at us. Well, pa leaned against a tree box and his eyes stuck out like stops on : an organ, and the sweat was all over his face in drops as big as kernels of hominy. I think 1 a boy ought to do everything he can to make it pleasant for his pa, don't you ? And yet some parents don't realize what a comfort a boy is. The blue dog was called in, and just as pa wiped the perspiration off his forehead, and rubbed bis eyes, and put on his specs, the red maroon dog came out. Pa acted as if lie I was tired, and sat down on a horse block. 1 Dogs do make some people tired, don't tliey V lie took hold of my hand, and his hand trera- ' bled as though lie was putting a gun wad in < the collection box at church, and lie said," 'my ( child, tell me truly, is that a red dog?' A I fellow has got to lie' a little if lie is going to i have any fun with his pa, and I told him it < was a white dog and I could get it for five i dollars. He straightened up, just as the dog : went in the house, and said, 'well, I'm demd,' i and just then the hoy let all the dogs out and ; sicked them on a cat, which run up a shade ] tree right near pa, and they rushed all around us, the blue dog going between his legs, and I the green dog trying to climb the tree, and the < pink dog harking, and the red dog standing i on his hind feet. Pa was as weak as a cat, i and told me to go right home with him and he would buy me a bicycle, lie asked me I how many dogs Wiere were and what was the color of them. I suppose I did awfully wrong, | but I told liirn there was only one dog and a < cat, and the dog was white. Well, sir, pa i acted just as he did the night Hancock was 1 beat, and he had to have the doctor give ' him something to quiet him (the time he want- '< ed me to buy a hundred rat traps, but the ? doctors said never mind, I need not go.) I I took him home, and ma soaked his feet and i gave him some ginger tea, and while I was < going after the doctor he asked ma if she ever i saw a green dog. That was what made all the trouble. If ma bad kept her mouth shut I < would have been all right, but she up and told him that they had a green dog, and a blue dog, I and all colors of Spitz dogs down at the dyer's. | They dyed them just for an advertisement, i and for him to be quiet, and lie would feel : better when lie got over it. Pa was all right I when I got back and I told him the doctor had < gone to Wauwatoso, and I had left the order i on his slate. He took a harness tug and used I it for breeching on me. I don't think a boy's pa ought to wear out a harness on his son, do you ? He said lie would learn me to play rainbow dogs on him. lie said I was a liar, i and he expected to see me wind up in Con- i gress, No, I can't stay, thank you, 1 must i go down to the office and tell pa I have reformed, and freeze him out of a circus ticket. He i is a good enough man only he don't appreciate i a boy that lias got all the modern improve- i 4-^. rr\ ii nvo rrnin rr f n onfpr T11P ill . UlCIItit, X a Clllll UKV (UC ^V/UI^ w VXVV4 ?..W ... , the Sunday school. I guess I'll take first i money, don't you ?" : And the bad boy went out with a visible i limp?a look of genius cramped for want of < opportunity.?Mercury. THE COMET AM) THE EARTH. ? I Eight or nine years ago there was a rumor that M. Plantamour, a distinguished Euro- j pean astronomer, had discovered a comet that would certainly come in collision with the . earth in the course of a few months. At first ! both Plantamour and his comet were derided | as imposters, but when it was finally discover- ( ed that Platainour was a real person and a , habitual astronomer, many people hastily de- , cided that his alleged comet was also real. , For a time there was a good deal of alarm j felt among those who were ignorant of astron- . omy, but this alarm subsided when M. Planta- \ raour expressly denied that he had discovered j a cornet, or that he ever had imagined that a . comet would strike the earth. The other day j M. Plantamour died, and by a singular coin- ( cidence a comet was almost simultaneously | discovered in the act of rushing directly at . the earth in broad daylight and in the boldest | manner possible. I The new comet is in many respects a peculiar one. Its spectrum shows that it con- i tains sodium. It will not do to jump to the ; conclusion that this fact means that some one ] has been putting salt 011 the comet's tail, but 1 it certainly does mean that the comet consists j of something more than highly attenuated liv- < drogen gas. Hitherto astronomers have been < in the habit of saying that ordinary comets j are so light and impalpable that should one of ( them come in collision with the earth weshould j probably fail to notice that anything had hap- 1 pened. The atmosphere might be a little hazy, ] and we might, by chemical analysis, find that ( it contained an unusual quantity of hydrogen, but the comet would be utterly harmless. | It will be impossible to talk in this way of the ; new comet. Sodium, and blazing sodium at i that, is not the sort of thing that can be hurl- j ed in an enormous quantity and at a high ve- | locity against the earth without hurting somebody. No cautious and intelligent astronomer will think it safe to monkey?if a strict- | ly scientific term is permissible?with a so- j dium comet, and the danger of a collision < with it will be admitted by everybody. ; So far little is known of the orbit of the < new comet. The astronomers at the Wash- < ington Observatory inform us that the deilec- .< tion of the sodium lines proves that the comet J is coming towards the earth "at a planetary i velocity"?or, in other words, at a tremen- ^ dously high speed, and that it has in all prob- ( ability passed the sun. Probably we failed to ' see it, either at night or in the day-time, while I it was approaching the sun, for the reason that i it was then a long distance from the earth. 1 Now that it has gone round the sun it is so < near us that we cannot help seeing it, and it i will contiue to grow brighter and brighter as it nears the earth. May not the exceptional weather that we have endured this summer be due to the comet? While the comet was approaching the sun we had the intensely hot days of July and August. When it went behind the sun we were protected from its heat and enjoyed the cool weather of the last three weeks, just as the summer boarder enjoys the cool hours towards the end of the day when the sun goes behind the barn. Now that the comet has emerged from behind the sun, the intensely hot weather has returned with it. If this be a true explanation ot |he weather of the last two months, and if the comet is really approaching the earth, we may expect to suffer from weather hot enough to convert Mr. Hob Ingersoll from his unbelief. It is often said that the movements of the heavenly bodies are regulated so perfectly that 4.1 ~ ? 4-K^ nllA.l,fAof .lotirme fhdf O OAmof l J if it: m nut luc augment iuii ig&L umv < will ever strike the earth. Facts do not support this theory. The meteors that constantly come into collision with the earth are as much heavenly bodies as any comet, and, indeed they are believed to have been at one time or another component parts of comets' I tails. Moreover, comets have frequently mixed themselves up with#Jupiter's moons iu a most irregular and reprehensible way. There is no reason to doubt that a collision between a comet and the earth is quite possible, and it may be that the new comet is about to demonstrate this fact to the satisfaction of the most incredulous person. Of course the comet may be coming toward us without the slightest intention of hitting us, and may pass us at a distance of thirty or forty millions of miles. It may also be true that the alarming reports as to its direction and speed may be the cunning devices- of Coney Island hotel-keepers, anxious to prolong "the season," or of Vassar students who wish to study a little astronemy on the back piazza or on the roof before returning to their regular studies. It must be confessed, however that the Washington astronomers are probably acting in good faith, and that the comet does present a threatening appearance. If it does strike the earth we shall have the consolation that our sufferings will be extremely brief, for it will certainly and permanently knock the earth out of time in one round?(Sir Isaac Newton's Kules.) witrihoxrir. insurance. The matrimonial insurance craze is raging in the South, with all the virulence of the death-rattle insurance business in Pennsylvania a year ago. Everybody seems to be taking a hand in the swindle, as the papers are filled with the advertisements of these concerns, and their editorial columns praise them without stint. Each company is heavily officered, and each officer is making a livelihood out of the revenues. The Memphis papers show that eight of these associations exist in that city, while Nashville has no less than fourteen. They are also to be found in considerable numbers, in Columbia, Tennessee, Pulaski, Murfreesboro, Tuscumbia. Mobile, Montgomery, Louisville, Paducah, Atlanta, Austin, Waco, Dallas, New Orleans, Milan, Jackson, Vicksburg, Yazoo City, Galveston, Little Rock, Columbus, Okolona, and other cities and towns. According to the circular of one of these schemes, its objects are "to promote and encourage matrimony, and to endow its certificate holders with a certain sum of money upon lifs or her marriage." A certificate holder must be a member four months before he can derive any benefit from the association upon marriage. The certificates are for SI,000, S2,000 and $3,000. For these respectively admission fees of $8, $10 and $12 are charged, mid an assessment of $1.10 for each thousand dollars must accompany the admission fee. Then equal assessments are levied monthly, or they may be multiplied as the demands increase. Annual dues of $4, $0, and $8 are also charged. The dues and assessments continue for 30 months, when they are matured. By a little arithmetical exercise it will be found that the luckiest members can only get back what they paid in, minus expenses, which the promoters,ollicers and agents collect as the circus moves along. For the great majority of members there can be nothing, since it is impossible for the best investments to bring back mch returns in thirty months. It is simply i scheme to get something for nothing, and snly differs from the graveyard insurance system in that it has a plan for robbing the cradle instead of the grave. In other words, it hinders marriage, and thus cheats the cradle of its claims. The craze will disappear after a year or two and something else will take its place. The Pennsylvania ghouls have already subsided, their business having reached the end that was predicted for it, after having driven thousands into bankruptcy in the effort to keep up their assessments. The matrimonial insurance system is only to be preferred to that of the cem ?tery in that it furnishes fewer incentives to murder. It can neither compel an insured party to die nor get married.? Wnnnsocket Patriot. THE* 1)RUM. Of the original use of the drum there are rather discordant accounts ; but a very orthodox myth ascribes the invention of them to a time anterior even to the reign of Jupiter. For it is said that the Corybantes when in charge of the infant god, and wishing to conceal him from the very unpaternal designs of his father Saturn, improvised some drums, and kept up such a din with them as often the child cried that the murderous parent was unable to discover his whereabouts. Notwithstanding this tale it does not appear that the Corybantian instrument was very early used in war, for there is no mention of it in the Trojan expedition, or in any of the campaigns of later Greeks and Romans. The learned are disposed to believe that it was brought into Europe as a military Instrument by the returning Crusaders in the 12th or 13th century. But it was clearly known long before in Africa md Egypt, and as a purely orchestral accompaniment in times of peace it seems likely to have been known to the Hebrews under the term which in the English Scriptures is rendered by tabor. The family likeness of the word to the modern French tambour is tco obrious to escape notice ; but isalso very similar in sound to the Kurdish tambar, said to mean i guitar, to the Persian tambur, and to our bid English term, "timbrel." The Hindoo tom-tom is, perhaps, also connected with it, ind it has been argued that all these words have a common Aryan root, represented in our language by the verb "tap." This would be supported by the view, in which classical irclueologists concur, that in early times both the timbrels and other larger instruments of the kind were played by striking upon them with the linger ends. In its original shape the drum or tympanum was smaller even than a tambourine. It was a mere disc of parchment stretched upon a small circlet of metal. The addition of a second surface with a hoi-1 low space intervening, and with supporting! sides of cylindrical form, was of much later j design, although this part of the instrument lias now become almost as natural tome iuea >f it as any other. The proof of this fs to he i found in the metaphorical use of the term as : borrowed by engineers, who have given the j name by universal consent to the large hollow j cylinders round which a rope or chain is coiled. The first time that drums are mentioned in j die history of the English, or, indeed, of any 1 European armies, seems to be at the time of die entry of Edward III. into Calais. But it is : not clear from Froissart's account which was die species then employed.?Loudon Globe. m The Toad and its Habits.?Formerly the ;oad was considered a venomous reptile ; but ! .11 our days its habits have been more carefully J observed, and its great value to the pomologist; uul gardener has been fully established, on ac- j jount of its propensity for destroying insects, specially those injurious to vegetation. We : ihould, therefore, sedulously cultivate the: friendship and crave the assistance of the iniectivorous reptiles, including the snake as well as that of birds. Every tidy housewife i letests the cockroach, mice and other vermin. Two or three domesticated toads would keep 1 die coast clear of these and would be found more desirable than a cat, as they are wholly . free from tresspassing on the rights of man as loes the cat. The toad is possessed of a timid | md retiring nature, loving dark and shady places, but under kind treatment becoming quite tame. Many instances are cited of pet toads remaining several years in a family, and doing valuable services with no other compensation than immunity from persecution. All that is necessary to secure their co-operation, indoor or out, is to provide them cool and safe retreats by day, convenient access to water, and they will go forth to the performance of their nocturnal duties "without money and without price." In Europe toads are carried to the cities to market, and are purchiised by the horticulturists, who by their aid are enabled to keep in check the multiplication of the insect tribes which prey upon their iruns, ere. THE MORGAN STATUE. The famous Masonic mystery is recalled by the unveiling at Batavia, N. Y., of a monument to William Morgan, the man whose name was for many yearn in everybody's mouth. The monument is nearly -ft) feet high, surmounted by a statue of the man, and has been built by subscriptions collected in all parts of the country. The principal inscription smacks decidedly of the excitement which followed his disappearance, thus: "Sacred to the memory of William Morgan, a native of Virginia, a captain in the war of 1812, a respectable citizen of Batavia and a martyr to writing, printing and speaking the truth. He was abducted from near this spot in the year 1820 by Freemason, aud murdered for revealing the secrets j of their order." Morgan was a blacksmith in Batavia, a Mason, and seems not to have j borne the best possible character, in spite of this inscription. He began the work by publishing the secrets of the order, and it was while engaged in getting out the book that he [ was abducted. He was arrested upon a charge of theft, .September 12,1820, and taken to Canandiagua. Four days later, he was released? both arrest and release were strange?and immediately taken in a carriage, by Masons, aud conveyed to Fort Niagara. There he was confined for a few days, and then all trace of him disappears. A body was found in Niagara river sometime after, believed by many to have been Morgan's, but the fact as to that was never established. Masons claimed that the only object in abducting Morgan was to prevent him from communicating with Miller, the man who was publishing his book, and, of course, could suggest many ways in which he might have disappeared; but the outside belief was that the man who told secrets had been murdered by members of the order, and there was the wildest excitement. Eli Bruce, sheriff of the county, and several others were tried for murder, but there were no convictions, although Bruce narrowly escaped. Then antiMasonic associations were formed, the thing got into politics, feeling on the question ran so high that regular party lines were, for a time, completely lost sight of, and even here in New England, some of the "Masonic Campaigns," about the year 1880, are remembered as the hottest ever known. Through it all the "Morgan mystery" remained unsolved, and so it remains to-day. A man named Robert Morris, of Kentucky, has been busy for 80 years tryiiifr tn net iit- the facts of the case, however. "" - T and it is said that he will soon publish the results of his labors.?Springfield Republican. ABOUT DRtiAMS. A French physician, Dr. Delaunay, has just told some facts about dreams. These are embodied in a communication to the Societe De Biologic of Paris. It is well known when a person is lying down the blood Hows most easily to the brain. This is why some of the ancient philosophers worked out their thoughts in bed. Certain modern thinkers have imitated this queer method of industry. During sleep, so long as the head is laid low, dreams take place of coherent thoughts. There are, however, different sorts of dreams, and Dr. Delaunay's purpose in his original communication is to show that the manner of lying brings on a particular manner of dreams. Thus, according to this investigator, uneasy and disagreeable dreams accompany lying ui>on the back. This fact is explained by the connection which is known to exist between the organs of sensation and the posterior part of the brain. The most general method of lying, perhaps, is on the right side; and this appears to be also the most natural method, for many l>ersons object to lying upon the side of the heart, which it has been more than once asserted, should have free action during sleep. Nevertheless, Dr. Delaunay's statements hardly harmonize with this opinion. When one sleeps upon the right side, that is to say, upon the right side of the brain, one's dreams have marked and rather unpleasant characteristics. These characteristics, however, are essentially those which enter into the popular definition of dreams. One's dreams are then apt to be illogical, absurd, childish, uncertain, incoherent, full of vivacity and exaggeration. The dreams which come from sleeping on the right side are, in short, simple deceptions. They bring to the mind very old and faint remembrances, and they are often accompanied by nightmares. Dr. Delaunay points out that sleepers frequently compose verse or rythmical language while they are lying on the right side; this verse, though at times correct enough, is absolutely without sense. The moral faculties are then at work, but the intellectual faculties are absent. On the other hand, when a person slumbers on his left brain, his dreams are not only less absurd, but may also be intelligent. They are, as a rule, concerned with recent things, not with reminiscences. And, since the faculty of articulated language is found on the left side, the words uttered du ring such dreams are frequently comprehensible. Egypt and tiie Nile?According to Mr. John Fowler, for seven years consulting Engineer to'the Egyptian Government, the Nile in an average year conveys no less than 1,000,000,000,000 tons of water, and 65,000,000 tons of silica, alumina, lime and other fertilizing soils down to the Mediteranean. The river begins to rise about the middle of June, at which time the discharge averages about 350 tons of water per second, and attains in September a height of from 19 feet to 28 feet, and a discharge of from 7000 to 10,000 tons per second. The cultivated lands in the provinces of Lower Egypt haye an area of 3,000,000 acres, and to irrigate this effectually at least 30,000,000 tons of water per day would be required, an amount somewhat exceeding the whole of the Low Nile discharge. At present the irrigation canals are totally inadequate to convey this quantity, and imperfect irrigation and consequent low state of crops are the result. It many instances a couple of men labor for a hundred days in watering by shadoof a single acre of ground, all of which amount of labor might be dispensed with if the barrage of the Nile were completed, and a few other works carried wit, the whole of which would be paid for handsomely by a slight water rate acre. Mr. Fowler does not think that the resources of Egypt have been fully developed, magnificent as they even now are, having reference to the size of the country. Except for the work of man, Lower Egypt for four months in the year would be simply the bed of a river, ami for the remaining months a mud bank. Long before the historic period, however, the Nile had been embanked, and canals, such as the Hahr-Jusef, had been formed; the first was to keep the tloods off the land, except in desired quantifies. ?mi the ?<v>nnd to run off the inunda tion waters as soon as the fertilizing matters in suspension had l>een deposited on the lands. Should the inhabitants of Kgypt neglect at any time to maintain the work of their ancestors, successive Hoods would quickly destroy the embankments and wash the light material into the canals. Thus the whole surface of the country would again be leveled, and the land of Egypt would revert to its primitive condition of being a river's bed for one third of the year and probably a malarious swamp for the remainder. ? *gr The girl raised with no profession or trade feels that unless she catches a husband while her young beauty lasts, she will be an old maid and a failure. The way to give her a fair chance is to give her a larger life, and let her feel that, though a good marriage may l>e the highest estate of woman, a bad one is her greatest curse, and that she need not marry for a home. If the gentlemen who go about marrying two or three wives a year, had women of this kind to deal with, it would l>e better for them and society.