Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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ifiunwMus flrpartmcnt. KEEPING A POST OPFICE. From the earliest period of my recollection I've had a desire to keep a post office, or have the P. O. keep me ; I didn't care a continental which. For years I have toiled for the posish' of P. M., and last week I succeeded. Bat'now I write after ray name, ex-P. M. I'll tell you how it came about. The postmaster here resigned, and, with the aid of a fraveyard recommendation, I succeeded him. t's nobody's business if I did rob the tombstones for names for my petition; and I can't see why the relatives of the defunct chap won't quit throwing it up to a fellow. Well, I wrote P. M. after my name. Mrs. Lipmuck embraced me with the tenderness of a she-bear when I rushed into the room waving ray petition over ray head, and my ap pointment brought on sundry other hugs. 1 was a happy man, Mrs. ii and I sat up till midnight writing my name with P. M. after it. Oh ! it looked grandly. I wouldn't have swapped for Pres., LL. D., or A. B. The next day I entered upon the discharge of my duties, and yesterday Uncle Samuel discharged me. Immediately upon his successor (which was me) being qualified, the ex-P. M. left, and I was left alone. The mail came, and I distributed it thus wise: My motto has always been,'First come, first served,', and I acted upon it to the best of ray knowledge. I gave a letter to each caller as long as they lasted, ami then I commenced on the papers. Wife said the thing would act like a charm. Under the old regime some people never got a letter, while now the first person in the office, after the distribution of the mail, would get the biggest, fatest letter that came. The idea was original, and I prided myself on its invention. The Lipmuck brain was ever inventive. The morning following 'mail-day,' I left ray house for the post office?the attainment of long cherished ambition. As I turned a pnmfir T discovered two well known citizens about to test the virtue of clenched hands. "I never wrote a letter to your wife," vociferated one. "You lie!" yelled the other; "your letter yesterday was handed me. My wife is in Birmingham, and wrote a sweet letter to you. Lipmuck's noble motto of 'First come, first served,' placed it in my hands?and a moment later at it they went. I hurried on. I had just entered the P. 0., when a woman entered the building. "You villain!" she yelled, knocking my hat to the floor, and burying her eagle talons in my hair. "You gave my letter to Mrs. Fastongue, the biggest old slanderer in town. And she's telling everywhere that I've been writing to a married man." , Well, I can't boast of as much hair as I could a week ago. Scarcely had my persecutor left when a crowd rushed into the office. The Methodist preacher headed it. I think he swore as he crossed the threshhold. "Villain!" he yelled, "you gave Bird Lyre one of my letters, and he's blowing everywhere that I've got a wife in New York and another in Maine." "Kill him ! kill him!" yelled those behind him. T J ? A jl saw a uu^cu uaus auu tiuua ucauug iuc, and I retreated. "Hang the scoundrel!" cried the women, and I feared the command would be executed. I went through the window, and now I'm in another town. I'm an ex-P. M. now, and a chap whose motto ain't 'First oorae, first served,' stands at the goal of my late ambition. My brief P. M-ship has not been unproductive of results. That M. E. preacher has left his charge and a New York woman is hunting him. Twenty-six divorces stare our next court in the face, and, through my brief official career, nine men walk on crutches, and four women have spoiled faces And I ? Why, my cranium is hairless and I dare not go back to Skulltown on penalty of death. * My ambition is satisfied now, and I have discharged that motto, 'First come, first seved.' It don't work in a post office. I wouldn't be a P. M. again for all the benzine in the world. Excused for Cause.?Capt. Tom Bug-1 bee was out with his company on detached duty. In fact, he had two companies under his command. He had with him a small brass Napoleon and an ambulance. Captain Tom was a strict disciplinarian, but a convivial fellow withal, and fond of creature comforts, not many of which were obtainable in the wild country through which he was marching. The column has just left the small hamlet of Jasper's Cross-Koads, below Jacksonville, when the Captain observed that oue of his drums was not beating, and he directed a Lieutenant to inquire the cause. The Lieutenant sought the delinquent, and demanded to know why he was not beating time. The fellow nodded mysteriously, and whispered into the officer's ear? "I've got a pair of roasted chickens and two bottles of whisky in my drum, and a chick and a bottle are for the Captain." The Lieutenant returned, and in a whispered tone, reported to the Captain. "Zounds!" cried Captain Tom, with vehement sympathy, "why didn't the poor drummer tell us that his legs had given out? I don't wan't men to march if they're lame like that. Put him in the ambulance sir!" The drummer was consigned to the ambulance, and not long after Capt. Tom and the Lieutenant went to examine more particularly into the nature of his trouble. MSF A young mother was in the habit of airing the baby's clothes at the window. Her husband didn't like it, and, believing that if she saw her practice as others saw it she would desist, he so directed their afternoon walk as to bring the nursery window in full view from the central part of the town. Stop- j f?ing abruptly, he pointed to the offending j inen flapping unconsciously in the breeze, and asked sarcastically: "My dear, what is that display in our window?" "Why," she replied, "that is the flag of our union." L'onquered by this pungent retort,.he saluted the flag by a swing of his hat; and, pressing his wife's arm closer within his own, as he walked homeward said: "And long may it wave!" IST Once on a time, at the funeral of a wife, the undertaker arranged for the husband and mother-in-law to ride in the same carriage. ''Must I," said the brokenhearted man ; "must I ride with that awful woman ?" "I think you will have to," answered the undertaker. "Oh! Mr. Undertaker, how can I ride with that dreadful woman?" "It will disturb every carriage of the procession to make a change," said the man of business, "and you must ride here." "Well, if I must, I must," said the stricken man, "but to ride with that woman destroys all my pleasure on this occasion." ? A nice young girl at Green Bay, Wisconsin, was being courted by a nice young man. He was generously inclined, and made v A t M _1!A 1_ I J ner presents 01 nair on, wmcu ue purunaseu from the store of the father of his adored. After giving her some twenty bottles of the oleaginous fluid, he discovered he was working in a circle?as fast as he presented them she returned them to the store, thus dutifully making trade for her father. No cards. ? 16?" A good deacon making an official visit to a dying neighbor, who was a very churlish and unpopular man, put the usual question: "Are you willing to go, my friend ?' "Oh ! yes," said the sick man, "I am 1" "Well," said the simple-minded deacon, "I'm glad you are, for all the neighbors are willing." JUjMtuttufal Drpartojeirf. HOW TO MAKE FARMING PROFITABLE ' The necessity and advantages of keeping a strict account of farming operations seems to be but little understood by farmers, or if uni derstood, they often feel wearied by the cares | and toils of the day, and after a short trikl neglect this most important duty before they have even realized any of the benefits to be derived from it. In the spring of 1853 I determined to see if there were any advantages to be derived from keeping a debt and credit account of my farming; also an account of my family expenses, and the dates and time mKen nrnng nprivcul of mofnriftr nnr? wnitlil say that since that time I have continued the practice. Many will say they have not the time, that it may do well enough for those who are able to hire their work done, &c., but let me say that I consider the time spent in keeping these accounts as the most profitable, in many points of view, of any of my hours of labor. The first year I found that to raise an acje of potatoes cost me, including seed, 824, and that I received from them 868. The next year I put the same acre in tobacco, and found that instead of 845 above expenses of manure and labor, 8194, and ray land left in far better condition than after my crop of potatoes. I found in 1865, that ray profit on corn was only 817 per acre, while an acre of cabbages gave me a net profit above marketing and all expenses, of 8212. Now, if I had kept no accouut of these crops, I should have known that my tobacco and cabbages paid me better than corn and potatoes, but should not have realized how much better; neither would I have known just what per centage my load of manure, which I had purchased, paid me. Since I first began to keep farm accounts I am fully satisfied that I have cleared double the money which I had done before, and I fully believe that it was mainly due to this r\yt% nfina T ^qtto Knnn onnkl a/] ktr fkSo mnano jjix uavo uuciui^u yjj buio ujoauo to do what every farmer ought to strive to do, that is to improve his home, and to make home where his children will delight to stay, where happiness and contentment will reign supreme. How many farmers neglect to make home the paradise they might, feeling themselves too poor to surround their places with neat fences and flowers, and things to gratify the taste and enlarge the mind ! Is it any wonder that their children, as they grow up, leave for some more congenial employment, or some more pleasant home, many of thera falling iuto vice and ruin, which might have been avoided, had their parents made home attractive, and the cultivation of the soil a delightful occupation (as it might be) instead of drudgery and hardship? Let all hope, through the influence arising from an interchange of ideas, and from the publication of good Agricultural papers, devoted to progress and improvement, that farming may, as it should, take rank among the most ennobling pursuits in life.? Correspondent Boston Cultivator. ? > Thinking Farmers.?If farmers do not make their calling honorable, they have only themselves to blame. They are always called by the politicians the "bone and sinew of the land," and if they neglect the cultivation of their minds they will never be any thing else but bone and sinew. Bone is good, but brains are better. Muscle is necessary, but mind must direct. The poor and ignorant may be just as good ?c tUa rinK anxricn Kdoohqd mnro 1 wnrth ?q UO IlitV AI\yU UUU l| 10V) UWOUOV II VI Vll IW one thing and intellectnal worth is another; but it is a fact that those men ever have been and ever will be most respected who, with equal morals, make the best use of their heads. Lawyers and merchants only succeed in like manner. A man may, in rare cases, be an excellent farmer, and yet be unable to read, but he is always a thinker. His neighbors read, and he hears them talk. They gather ideas from books and papers and apply them, and he watches the results. In his own operations, every good farmer studies carefglly to discover the reason for success or the cause for failure. Vast good has resulted in our country from farmers' clubs, where the experience of a neighborhood is talked over. To be useful, they must be practical. It is not a lyceum for rhetorical culture?although confidence and ability in public speaking are among the important incidental results?but the object should be to compare facts and experience. If a man has raised a good crop, let him tell his neighbors in a little friendly gathering, what, kind nf soil nrnduced it. what kind of a seed was used, and when and in what manner planted. If a failure has occurred, state fully the circumstances, and your neighbors may tell you wherein you failed. Even if no valuable information is directly elicited at a meeting, hints are often given and trains of thought are started that result in great good. Farmers, depend upon it, you too much neglect your business, and do not sufficiently honor it by the active employment of your hand as well as your heads. You may rise early and work late, but for the lack of forethought take many a false step and miss many good crops. No merchant can succeed by such neglect as is common among farmers. It is not that the farmers know less, but they are not as alert and active to all improvements and progress. If they would think more about their business, success would oftener crown their efforts, and great honor redound to their occupation.?Kansas Spirit. Balky Horses.?The brain of a horse seems to entertain but one thought afrthe same time. For this reason, contiuued whipping is out of the question and only confirms his stubborn resolve. But if you can by any means change the direction of his mind, give him a new subject to think of, nine times out of ten you will have no further trouble in starting him. As simple a trick as a little pepper, aloes, or the like, thrown back on the tongue, will often succeed in tuminer attention 0?, ^ o to the taste in his mouth. The plan of attaching a pair of cattle to a log chain round the horse's neck, is an expensive remedy, and a good many people may not be lucky enough to have a yoke of cattle handy for the occasion. A simpler and cheaper remedy that will result far differently, is to take a couple of turns of common wrapping twine, such as , grocers use, around the foreleg just below the J knee, tight enough for the horse to feel, and i tie in a bow knot. At the first cluck he will generally go dancing off, and after goiug ? short distance you can get out and remove the string, to prevent injury to the tendon in your further driving. The first lesson in this simple process was in Lexington, Kentucky ; subsequent experience has proved its utility when applied to balky horses. The philosophy of the appli | ance is something on the same principle as I that whereof we once read for preventing the hens from scratching up the gardens. Put gaffs or spurs on the hens, reversing thera? instead of the points up, have them pointing ! downward. Then, when the hen lifts a leg to scratch, as it descends, the point of the spur | catches in the ground, placing the foot forward ; and the stroke with the other leg is attended with like results, until the hen walks herself right out of the garden! . Preserving Green Corn.?Boil the corn (on the cob until it is thoroughly scalded,) ; then cut from the cob and dry in earthen Jlates in the sun, or a moderately heated oven, f well dried and kept in a dry place, corn prepared in this way will keep any length of time, and boiled with beans in the winter makes a very palatable dish. Beans and peas may be preserved in the same manner. ? Pumpkins for Cows.?Pumpkins are considered by our best dairymen in this country, j to be valuable for milk cows, increasing both the flow and quality of milk. They should not, however, be fed in great quantities alone, but mixed with meal, and if cooked all the better. I dfWMwn'si department. TEE DREAM OF GIRARD. Steven Girard was one of the most remarkable men who ever lived. Philadelphia, the city where he amassed his great fortune in business, was the recipient of his munificent bounty at his death, and his name and memory are well preserved in the Girard College, Girard Row, Girard Avenue, Girard Bank, Girard Insurance Company, Girard House, Af n I ??q CV\1 lnryo icKorA fKo fliinnnrt. WVi J.1. b U Ui\l \.rvi4V^V| t? u v* W W?*v ti and education of some five hundred orphan and half orphan boys are provided for, there is a marble statue of Mr. Girard, which represents him with exact fidelity to his appearance in life. He was of short stature, a benevolent smile, and had a shrewd face. He wore a large peculiar coat, and his hair was tied in a cue. His whole life was marked with eccentricities, which, in no particular, were more observable than in his occasional acts of benevolence. In his office was a young man as clerk, who attended to his duties very intelligently and faithfully. This had attracted the attention of Mr. Girard, for nothing escaped him. One morning he came into the office, and, calling the olerk, remarked : "Young man, I dreamed about you last night." "Dreamed of me 1" returned tie clerk, in surprise. "Yes; I saw a form and heard a voice, i The form was your own, and the voice said : ' 'This man is your best clerk, but he should I be a cooper. Merchants fail, but coopers are always sure of living by their trade.' So you must leave me and learn to be a first-rate cooper. I never go contrary to my dreams. They often tell me how to proceed. I trust them as I do ray own judgment, and obey them conscientiously. Go and get a place to learn the trade of a cooper, and when you can make a barrel, come and see me again." The clerk was, of course, greatly astonished. But he had no fear of toil, and he knew that he would lose nothing, in any event, by falling in with the directions of Mr. Girard. Accordingly, he settled up his affairs at the office, and in a few days engaged with Mr. Girard's cooper to learn the trade. During a long period, he kept steadily at work, and made excellent progress. Meanwhile, Mr. Girard had not forgotten him. He often saw the young man in his over alls on the wharves at work, and he always spoke encouragingly to him. He had not made up his mind as to what he would do for him, but he was greatly pleased at the successful carrying out of his dream. On one occasion, as he came from the wharf, he muttered: "My young cooper is doing well. He is a man, every inch of him. I must give him a helping hand." A few nights subsequently, the good old man was sleeping calmly in his humble looking apartment. His real wealth did not show it3elf in anything about him. The furniture was old-fashioned, and the SUrrOUndincrc wprp nt.rint.lw nftpr tVio nlnin t.naffi nf thp owner. As he slumbered, his countenance was calm, and without the trace of a single care. At times a slight smile flitted over his face, and he seemed to be in a pleasant dream. His slumbers continued for a considerable time, when he suddenly awoke. He rubbed his eyes and then spoke : "Ah, ha!" he said, "I've had a dream again about my young cooper. I thought that I would hear something about him again. There is a good spirit looking after his welfare, surely. 'When he finishes his apprenticeship, and is a good cooper, give him twenty thousand dollars to start in business,' whispered the voice in my ear. Of course I will. He is worthy of encouragement. The money will go into good hands. Of course I'll give it to him, but in ray own way. Ha! ha! I have a plan for that." Soon the old man dropped into slumber again. He had the same calm countenance, aud the satno eorono smilo. His life was devoid of all evil, and his dreams were full of good deeds in store for the future. Time passed on. One day the young man came into Mr. Girard's office. He was in the garb of a mechanic, and he looked healthful and sinewy from manual labor. "Good day, Mr. Girard," he said, as the old gentleman turned to him with a warm greeting. "I have come to tell you that I am a good cooper now. I have served my entire time." 1_ _ .1 l 1 ^un you maae a goou Darrei i "As good as any cooper in Philadelphia." "Make me twenty, and bring them here yourself." The young man went off, and in an hour was hard at work at the barrels. He was really a superior workman, and when the twenty barrels were completed, they were the admiration of all in the shop. When they had been placed in Mr. Girard's store, he examined every one with the closest scrutiny. He looked at the staves, the hoops, the heads, the shape, the cutting, and the driving, and in the end remarked to the young cooper, who was anxiously awaiting his verdict: "Tliev Aro irnnrl Hnrrela T newer onw he.t " b ter. You have learned your trade'and done your part faithfully. Come into the counting room, and I'll now do mine." The couple went into the office. The old man's face beamed with pleasure and satisfaction, and the young man's was flushed and pale by turns, from the peculiar circumstances of the moment. Mr. Girard took down his check book and wrote a check. This he cut out, and then, turning to the young man, he said: "My young man, listen to me. Your fidelity, promptness, and energy early attracted my attention. Then I had a dream about you, I mentioned to you a long time ago. You acted with alacrity upon the suggestion made in consequence of that dream, and today you stand before me skilled in a trade. I have dreamed of yon in the meantime. A good spirit whispered into my ear to give you twenty thousand dollars. You have made for me twenty superior barrels, for which I will now pay you one thousand dollars each, making twenty thousand dollars in all." Mr. Girard at this juncture placed in the hand of the agitated young man the check he had prepared. "Now," he continued, "you have a capital to commence business as a merchant, if you nnn f C! h /M11 rl /linonf Am n If A tfAII f*A f A UliUb lO &A|;buuvu it* |"vj m wvj wwfi vw?? i the ages of eight and fourteen could be ap; plied to some industry, we should see wonderful results. But a boy is like a galvanic bat. tery that is not in conneotion with anything; ' he generates electricity and plays it off into j the air with the most reckless prodigality, i And I, for one, wouldn't have it otherwise. It is as much a boy's business to play off his 1 energies into space as it is for a flower to blow or a cat-bird to sing snatches of the tunes of all the other birds.?Little Corporal. . BGF" Johnny was telling his ma how he was going to dress and show off when he was a man. His ma asked, "Johnny, what do you expect to do for a living when you get to be a man?" "Well, I'll get married and live with , my wife's pa." Johnny had a brother-in-law. I fttadrog for the Jtofrfcath. CONDUCTED BY REV. ROBERT LATHAN. lOrJginalJ REPENTANCE. It is not our intention to write a long theological essay on this cardinal doctrine of the Bible. It is very important that we understand distinctly what is meant in the Bible by repentance; but it is no less important that we do not, in practice,- mistake repentance for something else. We set Qtit by saying that all men, according to their own notions, repent. It is impossible to conceive of a human being who has never, in the common acceptation of the word, repented. To make such a supposition would be to imagine some member of the human family unspotted by the stain of sin, and free from all feults and failings. To err is human. All men are conscious of violating law and sinning against their own body and spiritual interest For such conduct every intelligent creature must be sorry. He mourns over his temporal losses thus incurred, and shudders when he looks beyond the narrow line which divides time and eternity. When the prodigal compares his tattered rags of to-day with the purple and fine liuen of former days, he is sorry for his sins. He is in earnest. There is no mockery in the case. His tears are not forced. When the honorable man does an act which tarnishes his fair reputation, and which degrades hira in society, he is sorry. He groans. His soul is filled with disquieting thoughts. There is no hypocrisy in all this. It is real. The practical question which is suggested by these and similar cases is, are they cases of genuine repentance, or ought they to be placed under some other head ? For various reasons this is an important question to every man. Why, it may be asked, have we forsaken some sius which we once practiced with a real relish ? Why are we sorry when we commit certain crimes? These acts come under the head of good deeds. God commands us to forsake our sins; he also says that a broken and a contrite heart is a pleasing sacrifice. We must be careful to make distinctions when there are real differences. We may forsake our sins and still have a real relish for them ; and we may have a worldly shame for our crimes when we have a real love for them in our hearts. This may seem strange ; but it is most assuredly true in fact. There are thousands of sins that we long to perpetrate; but we are afraid the commission of such acts would ruin us in the eyes of the world. Circumstances alter cases. We are one thing in one place and another thing in another place. We are very sorry for our sins often when we learn that they have been discovered; but before the discovery was made, we were not in the least disauieted. The truth is. we fear men far more than we do our Maker. We are fool-hardy aud reckless so long as we keep our fellow-men in the dark; but so soon as our neighbors find out our sins, our consciences goad us into painful and humiliating confessions. A little examination will convince any candid mind that an act or deed which God commands is good and commendable in us only when done with proper motives. To forsake sin and be sorry for it, is commendable in the sight of God only when the motives which prompted us so to act, are commendable in the sight of God. So far as society is concerned, it is a great blessing when a sinner forsakes his sins. _It is a.bjessipg to everybody with whom he comes in contact; but before we conclude that repentance is pleasing in the sight of God, we must know that the motives which prompted it were pleasing to God. IMMORTALITY. ITnw tViio rrlnrions t.hnncrht hnovs me un. as **"" - - to ? o j l ' ? I tread the "rough paths of my wayfaring." The unshed tear has gone back to its fount, as I have opened the Holy Book and put my finger upon the word immortality. It is written upon the delectable hills that rise just beyond the haze that clouds material vision ; yet there are times when the spirit asserts its supremacy, and rises on strong wings upward until it catches its affection on the burnished sky. The long grass takes no root in its soil, and the mould of time never creeps with its slimy feet over the beautiful structure. There is neither silence nor darkness around it, and the shadow of the grave passes before the sunlight of its glory. Have you not heard its sound breathing, lilro on linclar.+nno tVirnnorli tVin Inner nmiQPS nf the tolling bell ? Mourners whisper it to each other between their tears, and wear it in their bosoms as an amulet, when they lay one whose foot faltered in his course to rest, just outside the crowded thoroughfare of life. Immortality! It has rung in ray ears, till even the wind grew inharmonious, and the midnight thunder discordant with the melody that filled my soul. It has shown before my eyes till the sun went to sleep in his gold and purple chambers, and the sentinel stars came out on the high walls of night. One by one the watchers ceased, and strong as a giant, the sun rose up again at the bidding of day. Yet the brightness of this world paled not. It waxed brighter and brighter till my eyes grew dim with its insupportable splendor. Henceforth the ways of life took a sunnier course, and the flowers grew thicker and sweeter along the borders. So I learned to i?.1 /?.? a if t i:_ ,1? ureatne it oueu iu luyacn, ua ? ne uuwu onu rise up?"This mortal shall put ou immortality."?Episcopal Methodist. Praying for Others.?A habit of praying for others keeps our minds on a higher plane than does always thinking about our own selves. It is true that our primary duties are to our own households; but take two housekeepers, one of whom is thinking kindly of all her friends and all their households, who is discharging every duty toward her children and toward the members of her own family, but who every day contrives somehow to steal an hour in which she can go out on some errand of mercy?and another one who thinks of nobody but herself, of no household but her own, and who never goes forth on any errand of racrcy?between two such persons as these, is there not a very marked moral difference ? Does not the public sentiment of the neighborhood place the one, who is thinking of others' interests, not to the exclusion of her own duties at home, but in addition to them, upon a higher plane than the other who thinks only of herself? Does not the public sentiment regard her as the nobler character of the two ? Guard the Weak Spot.?All men, however strong, have a weak spot, like the rhinoceros, which, though plated like a monitor, is vulnerable to a spear thrust below the plates. Satan is not such a fool as to attack . the strong defences; he would be sure to ; thrust at the vulnerable points. Some, indeed, think they have no weak place; and such people are right, for they are weak all over, and no part, therefore, could be called weak in particular. The polar bear has a weakness, which is for blubber, and his hunters knowing this, coil a piece of whalebone like a watch-spring, wrap it in blubber and freeze it. They then drop the tempting morsel in the way of a bear, who swallows greedily ; but as soon as the blubber melts in his stonach, the whalebone springs out. The bear then rolls over in agony, and they come up and kill him. Thus it is when men yield to an easy sin : it will cut them asunder.? Dr. H. M. Scudder. occ uu uuuuiu uisasuci uvcua^c jvu> VKJ > your trade again." The young man broke forth in a torrent of thanks, but Sir. Girard abruptly stopped him, saying: "You lose interest on your money while von talk. I have fulfilled mv dreams, and done justice to you. Good morning." Here this strange interview ended. The young man went away with the deepest grat| itude in his heart, and a resolution to make a name in business worthy of the respect of : his generous benefactor. He subsequently became one of the first merchants of Phila: delphia. This incident is one of the most ! singular in the history of Mr. Girard, and no less in the annals of dreams. A Boy's Business.?It exactly suits the temperament of a real boy to be very busy about nothing. If the power, for instance, io avrvnn/lorl in nlnu Kv a Knv Kplwppri boy, if his legs are equal to the walk, is as good a plowman as anybody?for the team turns the corners, and the plow is not handled at all. It is a striking sight to see eight horse teams following each other over a vast plain, cutting "lands" a mile long, and when all have passed, leave a track forty feet wide of plowed ground. On the heavier soil, the process is somewhat different. An eight horse team moves a four gang plow and gets over about six acres per day. The seed is then sown by a machine i which scatters it forty feet, and sows from i seventy-five to one hundred acres in a day, i and the ground is then harrowed and cross j harrowed. When the farmer in this valley has done his winter sowing, he turns his teams and men into other grounds, which he is to summer fallow. This he can do from the first of March to the middle of May; and by it he secures a remunerative crop for the following year, even if the season is dry. This discovery is of inestimable importance to the farmers on the drier parts of these great plains. Experience has now demonstrated conclusive IgltsceUancaus Reading. PRACTICAL JOKE ON HORACE GREELEY. The laying of the Atlantic cable was celebrated by a diunerin the Metropolitan Hotel. Many old New York merchants, who had been farmers and country mechanics in their boyhood days, were among the guests. One of the latter was Horace Greeley, who occupied a seat near the presiding officer. Many of the old merchants appeared with old steel watch-guards and antiquated swallow-tail coats. Mr. Greeley wore his usual claw-hammer. The merchants did not understand the French bill of fare, and without waiting for the regular course, many of them ordered the waiters to bring up beef-steak. Mr. Greeley followed suit. When the wine was brought nnnmo nrr /I no r?lr VSMy U tuajvuibj v/i VliU Viiwiiifc Mr. Greeley placed his hand over his glass and refused to accept wine, saying that he drank only water. ? Warren Leland, the proprietor of the hotel, felt much chagrined at Mr. Greeley's action. He went to him and said: "Now, look here, Horace, this is not treating your old neighbor right You and I have been farmers for years together. You have borrowed my harrow, and I have borrowed your plow. When I wanted a scythe, I went to your plaoe and borrowed it If you run out of corn, my barn was always open to you. Here it is the first time that you have ever been in my house, and I think that neighborly feeling ought to require that you should take a little something and not drink cold water." "Now, Warren," answered Mr. Greeley, "there's no use of talking, I never drank a drop of spirituous liquors since I signed the pledge in 1822, and I shall never drink a drop. If I was going to drink a glass of rum, I would just as soon drink with you as any other man. But I can't do it; now go away and let me alone." Warren grew red in the face. "Mr. Greeley," he said, "this is not treating me right. Here I have kept a hotel in New York city for nearly twenty years, and the first time yc . come into it you refuse to drink my health." "No I don't," replied Horace: "1 will drink your health with great pleasure," raising his glass of water. in wnfur " anaurororl Wnrrpn "tVinf iq not the fluid to drink a man's health in. I insist that you shall let me mix you a drink. I will mix it with my own hands. I can assure you that no man in New York understands mixing drinks better than I do." Mr. Greeley laughed and shook his head. Warren redoubled his pleading so earnestly that at last Horace said : "Well, Warren, you can go down stairs and mix me up a lemonade; that's the best I can do for you, and I don't think you ought to ask me any more. Now go away aud let me alone." Warren went down stairs. He mixed up the most delicious lemonade ever concocted in the Metropolitan Hotel. He took a glass nearly as large as a Weiss beer glass. He filled it with ice, with sugar, with peppermint, with a big piece of pineapple, a bit of orange, with slices of lemon, some tansy, Stoughtou bitters, and, last of all, about two table-spoonsful ofSazarac brandy. Then he stuck two straws into it and took the lemonade to Horace. "What are those for, Warren?" asked Mr. Greeley, pulling the straws out of the glass and flourishing them in Warren's face. "Why, that's the fashionable way of drinking lemonade," Warren replied, "did you never suck cider with a straw out of a bunghole when a boy." "Yes," replied Horace, "but this is not cider, and I don't see any bung-hole. I prefer the old fashioned way of drinking lemonade," and he pulled the two straws out of the glass and dropped them into his hat, which was on the table at his side. Then Horace drank the lemonade. A pleasant expression stole over his countenance. He stopped when half through, and said : "Well, Warren, this is great lemonade. This is good lemonade. I never tasted any better/ You certainly have a remarkable faculty for mixing lemonade." Warren puckered up his mouth like a rat hole, and gave vent to one of his heavy laughs. There was more vim than sound in Warren's laugh. Mr. Greeley finished his lemonade. After it had disappeared a strange light began to caper in Horace's eyes. He talked more freely than usual. His sayings were spiced with qqaint oddities. He talked of plows, coulters and martingales, then of breechingstraps and Yankee scythe-snaths, of new jumped axes, saw-bucks and patent corn shellers, of old dog-drums, and of the thousand and one things connected with farming. It was one of the most interesting conversations that was ever held in the Metropolitan Hotel. Warren drank in Horace's words of wisdom after Horace had drunk Warren's lemonade. In a few moments Horace said: "Warren, I would like another lemonade, but don't take the trouble to go down stairs and mix it yourself ; let one of the waiters bring it" Warren fired up in an instant. He said he could be guilty of no such act of discourtesy to an old friend. He insisted upon going himself, and he went. The second lemonade was mixed like the first, with the exception that Warren chucked in three table-spoonsful of Sazarac brandy instead of two. Horace took the tumbler and sucked the drink in like a threeyear-old child. "Warren," he said, "this lemonade is even better than the other one. You are a great man, Warren, and you know now to Keep a notei; your art or mixing lemonade is unsurpassed." Horace drained the glass. He put it down, and looked as though he was sorry he had got through it so quick. The merry twinkle in his eye increased. His talk flamed with wit. Those who were fortunate enough to be seated near him roared with laughter. They were filled with wine, and Horace was filled with lemonade. Lemonade was productive of more wit than wine. It was a great temperance lecture, though none of them so regarded it. The company broke up at a late hour, and though Horace took not a drop of the hundred bottles of wine which disappeared on that night he went home the most intoxicated man in the whole party. How Califorsta Fields are Plowed.? The fields are plowed with what are called gang plows, which are simply four, six or eight plow shares fastened to a stout frame of wood. On the lighter soil eight horses draw a seven gang plow, and one such team is counted on to put in six hundred and forty arcres of wheat in the sowing season; or from eight to ten acres per day. Captain Gray, near Merced, has put in this season four thousand acres with ive such teams?his own land and his own (earns. A seed sower is fastened in front of the plow. It scatters the seed, the plow covcr3 it, and the work is done. The plow has no handles and the plowman is, in fact, only a driver; ho guides the team?the plows do their own work. It is easy work, and a smart ly that, if .they plow their lands in the spring, let it lie until the winter rains come on, then sow their wheat and harrow it in, they are sure of a crop; and the summer will have killed every weed beside.?Scientific American. To Shave Scientifically?As men continue to shave and be shaved (a practice which some regard as unnatural and undesirable,) we transfer to our columns the following brief essay upon shaving, which is from the pen of so celebrated an authority as Dr. Melchi: Never fail to wash your beard with soap atid water and to rub it dry, immediately before you apply the lather, of which the more you use and the thicker it is, the easier you will shave. Never use warm water, which makes a tender face. In cold weather place your closed razor in your pocket or under your arm to warm it The moment you leave your bed or bath is the best time to shave. Always wipe your razor clean, and strop it before putting it away; and always put your shaving brush away with the lather on it The razor (being only a fine saw) should be moved m a sloping or sawing direction, and heli' nearly flat to your face, care being taken to draw the skin as tightly as possible with the left hand so as to present an even surface, and to throw out the beard. The practice of pressing on the edge of a razor in stropping it, soon rounds it; the pressure should be directed to the back, which should never be raised from the strop. If you shave from heel to point of the razor, strop it from point to heel; but if you begin with the point in shaving, then strop it from heel to point. If you only once put away your razor without stropping it, or otherwise perfectly cleaning the edge* you must no longer expect to shave well and easy, the soap and the damp so soon rust the fine teeth and edge. A piece of soft plate leather should always be kept with razors, to wipe them with. ?? f ? A Brief Presidential Term.?A correspondent of the Kansas City Times recently interviewed David R. Atchison who, upon the death of Wm. R. King, a month after his inauguration as Vice-President in 1853, succeeded to the Vice-Presidency, when the following strange and forgotteu fact in American history was brought to mind?that Atchison was legally President of the United States for about thirty-six hours. We extractas follows: Reporter?Yen were President of the United States for about thirty-six hours, were you not? General?Yes; you see Mr, Pkrce's terra expired at midnight Saturday, and this being a Christian country, of course nothing was done nn Sunday. Mr. Buchanan was inauoru rated at nooo on Monday. Therefore, as President of the Senate, I succeeded to the Presidency when Mr. Pierce's terra was out, [laughingly;] bat I had no realization of my high position until about ten o'clock Sunday morning. We had been hard at work in the Senate finishing up business, and having lost much sleep I would probably have slept all day had I not been wakened up by some personal friends who came to congratulate me and secure positions for certain parties. In order to do everything in proper style, I appointed a full cabinet, and then it is said that my administration was the most successful and popular one ever known, there not being a removal or appointment during my whole term. Why do Children Die??In answer to the question, the Medical Recorder holds the following language: The reason why children die, is because they are not taken care of. From the day of birth they are stuffed with water, suffocated in hot rooms, and steamed in hot bed clothes. So much for in-door. When permitted to breathe a breath of pure air once a week in summer, only the nose is permitted to peer into daylight. A little later they are sent out with no clothes at all on the parts of the body that most need protection. Bare legs, bare arms, bare necks, girthed middles, with an inverted umbrella they air and chill the other parts of the body. A stout, strong man goes out on a cold day with gloves and over-coat, woolen stockings, and thick doublesnlpd hnotu with nnrk het.ween and rnhhers over. The same day a child three years old, an infant of flesh and blood, bone and constitution, goes out with shoes as thin as paper, cotton socks, legs uncovered to the knees, neck bare, and exposure which would disable the nurse, kill the mother outright, and make the father an invalid for weeks. And why? To harden them to a mode of dress which they are never expected to practice. To accustom them to exposure which a dozen years later would be considered down-right foolery. 'Jo rqar children thus for the slaughter-pen and lay it to the Lord is too bad. We don't think the Almighty has any hand in it How to Sleep.?We are often asked for a prescription for preternaturally wakeful persons. The "high pressure" principle on which many of our business men work their brains and abuse their bodies, begets an irritable condition of the nerves, and a morbid state of mind, very antagonistic to quiet and refreshing sleep. Such persons will often go to bed weary and exhausted, but cannot sleep; or sleep dreamily and fitfully ; or lie awake for hours, unable to sleep at all. We have tried many expedients to induce sleep with more or less success, and have read many recipes which proved better in theory than in practice. The very best method we have yet discovered is that of counting. Breathe deeply and slowly (without any straining effort) and, with every respiration, count one, two, three, etc., up to a hundred. Some persons will be asleep before they can count fifty in this manner. OtVipra will rrmnt. ten. twentv. or thirtv. and | then forget themselves and cease counting. In such cases always commence again at one. Very few persons can count a hundred and find themselves awake; but should this happen repeat the dose until cured.?Science of Health. ? t&T It was my custom in ray youth (says a celebrated Persian writer) to rise from my sleep to watch, pray, and read the Koran. One night as I was thus engaged, my father, a man of practical virtue, awoke. "Behold," said I to him, "thy other children are lost in irreligious slumbers, while I alone wake to praise God." "Son of my soul," said he, "it were betfllr for thee to be engaged in irreligious sleep, than to awake to find fault with thy brethren." To Drive Away Bed Bugs.?An exchange gives the following as a sure way to drive bed bugs from old beds: Take green - .1 _ - 1 _ . loraaio vines, put mem in a uasin or iray, pound them to pieces as fine as possible, then stain the bedstead, where they inhabit, with the juice, fill the crevices with pieces of vines, and lay leaves under the ends of the slats. If this is practiced twice a year not a bug will remain in the bedstead. Ginger Beer.?Take one pint of molasses and two spoonsful of ginger, put into a pail to be halt filled with boiling water; when well stirred together, fill the pail with cold water, leaving room for one pint of yeast, which, must not be put in till lukewarm. Place it on a warm hearth for the night, and bottle it in the morning. ? ? Tattling.?Never repeat a story unless you are certain it is correct, and not even then unless something is to bo gained, either of interest to yourself or for the good of the person concerned. Tattling is a mean and wicked j practice, and he who indulges in it grows j more fond of it in proportion as he is successful. A veteran observer says: "I never place much reliance on a man who is always telling what he would have done had he been there. I have noticed that, somehow, this kind of people never get there." t&* A man who swears in the presence of ladies, will lie in the presence of men, and will steal in the presence of God. $b*: ?0*fe?in* (??q?iw. TERMS?IN ADVANCE t One Copy, qney.ear, I 3 00 One Copy, Six months...... ,... 1 50 OneCopy, Three months, 1 00 Single Copy, .......... 10 Two Copies, one year, 5 00 . Ten Copies, ** " 3? 00 jfST-To persons who inake up clubs often or more names, an extra copy of the paper will be furnished oueye^r, free of charge. ADVERTISEMENTS ' Will be inserted at One Dollar and Fifty Cents per square for the first, and Seventy-five Cents per square for each subsequent insertion-less than three months. A square consists of the space occupied by ten lines of this sixe type, or one inch. No advertisement considered less than a square. Semi-Monthly, Monthly, or Quarterly Advertisements, will be charged Two Dollars per square for eaoh insertion. Quarterly, Semi-Annual or Yearly contracts * will be made on liberal terms?-the contract, however, must inall cases be confined to the immediate business of the firm or individual contracting. Obituary Notices and Tribntes of Respect, rated as advertisements. Announcements of Marriages and Deaths.and notices ofa religious character/inserted gratis, and solicited. Personal Communications, when admissal . ? ? r-.11 #11 U-J Die; UnTTimUniC8UUIlH 111 UIIUI^u ur luuivjuuni interest, or recommendations of Candidates for offices of honor, profit or trust, will be charged for as advertisements. CAMPAIGN DISPATCH/ A LARGE THIRTY-TWO COLUMN PAPER 1 f -A ^ FOR ONLY FIFTY CENTS! THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN OF 1872 IS fraught with issues of momentous importance to the people of the South especially, as well as to those of the whole country. Everybody will desire information of the progress of the contest which has just commenced; will wish to note the movements of parties; the discussion of principles, and to receive the earliest news of all events affecting the fipal result. To meet this general public demand we propose to make THE WEEKLY DISPATCH A FIRST-CLASS CAMPAIGN PAPRR^and to put the price within the reach of all. It will be sent from the present time to the close of the canvass in November next, at the LOW PRICE OF FIFTY CENTS, when sent in Clubs of five or more addressed to one person. Single copies sixty cents. Besides the political news, the CAMPAIGN WEEKLY DISPATCH will contain all the important editorials of the DAILY; a careful and complete summary of the foreign and domestic news; latest news by telegraph from all parts of the world ; full ana reliaable Stock, Financial, Cattle and general Market Reports; latest Agricultural and Horticultural information ; proceedings of Scientific, Agricultural, Religious and Literary Societies; all important Legal Decisions of State and Federal Courts; reviews of the most interestingand important new Books ; and, indeed, everything of interest to the Family Circle, the Merchant, Farmer, Professional Man, Mechanic and Laborer. The money must accompany every order. Remittances maybe made at our risk in drafts, postal money orders or registered letters. Postmasters and others who get up clubs of ten or more will be entitled to a free copy. Address, COWARDIN A ELLYSON, Riohmond, Virginia. May 16 20 tf SEWING MACHINES. tDO you know that the latest improvements in Sewing Machines are combined in the " AMERICAN ?" Being neat, simple, substantial in construction, noiseless and so easily operated that a child can work it It has no equal. Our "Plain American" will do all kinds of work that can be done on othe.-Machines, while in several particulars it is superior, and is sold at a less price than other first class Machines. But our "Combination American" will, in addition, make a perfect button and eyelet hole, and do overseaming. All persous who think we claim too much for this Machine, are invited to call and see for themselves. Let not prejudice hinder you from getting the best Macnine in the market. We are sole Agents for York county. Wo continue, also, to act as Agents for the MASON A HAMLIN ORGAN CO. Their Instruments have no superior for beauty, sweetness of tone and durability. And while they are indispensable to Churches, Sunday-Schools, &< ? they also afford to homes a rational pleasure, ana an easy means for developing musical talent that no hea'd of a family ought to neglect. "* At the same time we continue to perpetuate your beauty or ugliness, as the case may be, upon Paper, Metal or Porcelean, by means of PHOTOGRAPHY in all the various styles. Wo have now on hand a fine lot of STEREOSCOPIC VIEWS of the Yosemite. Pacific Railroad, White Mountains, Ac.; also,nice ALBUMS, all of which we offer at prices to suit thetimes. J. R. SCHORB A SON. ESTABLTsHEir 1857. L. H. MILLER, MILLER'S SAFE AND IRON WORKS, BALTIMORE, MD. SALESROOM: 265 BALTIMORE STREET, (One Door above Hanover,) FACTORY: Square bounded by Henrietta, Clar- ^ et, Fremont and Warner Streets. Every variety of the Best Fire and Burglar Proo Safes, Bunkers' Chests, Improved Combination Looks, Bank Vaults and Doors. Send for Illustrated Catalogue and Price List. 12,000 IN USE?TESTED IN 200 FIRES. Near References National Bank, Chester, Smith and Melton, Chester ; John Agnew & Son, Columbia, S. C. THE PARKER GUN. ; PARKER BRtfS ; WEST MERlDENsCT. KING'S MOUNTAIN R. ROAD. 'in DAILY TRAIN. HEREAFTER the trains over the KING'S MOUNTAIN RAIL ROAD will run daily, (Sundays excepted) as follows, making close connection with trains on the Cnarlotte, Columbia and Augusta Railroad: Leave Yorkville, promptly, at 61 o'clock, A. M. Arrive at Chester at 81 o'clock, A. M. Leave Chester at 5 o'clock, P. M. Arrive at Yorkvilleat 7 o'clock, P. M. All Freights must be delivered at the Depot by A T> vr .aifIaiia ?a ?V|a t w i/iwwA| JL iu?| wu tuc groiiiugo |/i??iuuo w vuv departure of the train. GEORGE W. MELTON, President. May 2 18 tf METALIC BURIAL CASES AND CASKETS. I HAVE just received a full supply of PISK'S ? METALIC BURIAL CASES, of all sizes. Also a few of those beautiful full glass BURIAL CASKETS, surpassing in beauty anything of the kind ever offered here. J. E. SMITH, Agent. mar- WOOD COFFINS, of any quality, made to order. J. E. SMITH. March 14 11 ly CA1LIIAII Ml COMfJUY. MEMPHIS, TENN. Branch Office, - Baltimore, Maryland. ASSETS, $1,100,000. Hon. JEFFERSON DAVIS, President. Gen. WADE HAMPTON, Pree. Baltimore Board. J. D. KENNEDY, State Agent. W. B. SADLER, Yorkville, Special Agent. * June 27 26 ly