Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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HUM0MU3 Department. COUSIN SALLY DILLARD. [Cousin Sally Dillard is a story that must not die, and as it has been some time since the public have been called upon to laugh over its exquisite ridiculousness, we will give it a start again.] Scene.?A court of justice in South Carolina. A beardless disciple of Themis rises and thus addresses the court: "May it please your worship and you gentlemen of the jury, since it has been my fortune (good or bad I will not say,) to exercise myself in legal disquisition, it has never befallen me to be obliged to pros ecute so direfully marked an assault. A more wilful, violent and dangerous battery, and finally a more diabolical breach of the peace, has seldom happened in a civilized country, and I dare say it seldom has been your duty to pass upon one so shocking to benevolent feelings, as this which took place over at Captain Rice's in this county; but you will hear from the witnesses." The witnesses being sworn, two or three were examined and deposed : One said that he heard the noise but did not see the fight; another that he saw the row, but did not know who struck first, and another that he was very drunk and couldn't say much about the skrimmage. Lawyer Chops?I am sorry, gentlemen, to have occupied your time with the stupidity of the witnesses examined. It arises, gentlemen, altogether from a misapprehension on my part. Had I known as I do, that I had a witness who was acquainted with all the circumstances of the case, and who was able to make himself clearly understood to the court and jury, I should not have trespassed so long on your patience. Come forward Mr. Harris, and be sworn. So forward comes the witness, a fat, chuffy old man, a "leetle" corned, and took his oath with an air. Chops?Harris, we wish you to tell about the riot that happened the other day at Captain Rice's, and as a good deal of time has already been wasted in circumlocution, we wish you to be compenduous, at the same time as j explicit as possible. ! Harris?Adzackly, (giving the lawyer a knowing wink, at the same time clearing his throat) Captain Rice, he gin a treat, and cousin Sally Dillard she comes over to our house and axed me if ray wife she moutn'tgo? I told cousin Sally Dillard my wife was poorly, being as how she had a touch of rheumatics in her hip, and the big swamp was up in the road, there having been a great deal of rain lately, but howsoever, as it was she, cou-j sin Sally Dillard, my wife she mout go. Well cousin Sally Dillard then axed me if Mose he moutn't go ? I told cousin Sally Dillard that he was the foreman of the crap, and the crap was smartly in the grass, but howsoever, as it woo qVio onncin Snllv T~)illnrrl TVfftOft lift m ft I if. goChops?In the name of common sense, Mr. Karris, what do you mean by this rigmarole ? Witness?Captain Rice, he gin a treat, and cousin Sally Dillard, she came over to my house and asked me if ray wife she moutn't go ? and I told cousin Sally Dillard? Chops?Stop, sir, if you please; we don't want to hear about your cousin Sally Dillard or your wife; tell us about the fight at Rice's. Witness?Well, I will sir, if you will let me. Chops?Well, sir, go on. Witness?Well, sir, Captain Rice, lie gin a treat and cousin Sally Dillard she came over to my house and asked me if my wife she moutn't go. Chops?Here it is again. Witness, please to stop. Witness?Well, sir, what do you want? Chops?We want to know about the fight, and you must not proceed in this impertinent story. Do you know anything about the matter before the court ? Witness?To be sure I do. Chops?Well, go on then, and tell it, and nothing else. Witness?Well, Captain Rice, he gin a treat? Chop3?This is intolerable. May it please the court, I move that the prisoner be committed for a contempt. He seems to be trifling with the court. Court?Witness, you are before the court nf instiee. nml unless von behave vourself in **"o "" w o " -?o o every day. Just look over there at that prodigious old porpoise with the eye-glass." Second stranger?"Hum! ha! yes! I can't help thinking she's a more festive looking object than that funeral old frump with the fan!" First stranger?"The funeral old frump's my wife, sir!" Second stranger?"The prodigious old porpoise is mine! Let's go and have some tea!" ? ? 8?* A few days since one of our popular attorneys called upon another member of the profession, and asked his opinion upon a certain point of law. The lawyer to whom the question was addressed, drew himself up and said, "I generally get paid for telling what I know.' The questioner drew a half dollar "fractional" from his pocket, handed it to the other, and coolly remarked : "Tell me all you know and give me the change" There is renineon hetween the narties nnw. ^-^4 It?* A Pekiu, (111.) woman was asked by the preacher if her husband feared the Lord. She replied: "Fear him? why, bless you, he is so 'feared of him that he never goes out of the house Sundays without taking his gun along." 4 t?* Have you in your album any original poetry ?" Asked one young lady of another. "No," was the reply, "but some of my friends have favored me with original spelling." fjqiartmeut. From the Rural Carolinian. CLOVER. A friend said to me recently, "In limestone countries clover is sown to enrich laud ; in the Cotton States we have to enrich the land before we can grow clover." My experience teaches that this is a great mistake. I am convinced that nowhere on this continent can clover be grown at less expense and with greater remuneration than on clay lands of the South, at least as far South as the latitude of the city of Columbia, S. C. A detail of a few experiments may not be uninteresting to our readers. In November, 1867, I sowed eight acres of old red land In barley and clover, manured with two hundred pounds of Soluble Pacific Guano per acre. In June, 1868, reaped one hundred and forty-five bushels of barley, and secured a beautiful stand of clover on about five acres. In May, 1869, twenty-three heavy two-horse loads of clover hay were housed. The fall of 1869 was so dry the crop was pastured off by cattle and sheep. The Spring of '70, though uncommonly dry, produced a fair crop of clover; the fall crop was again grazed off. Last May I mowed a beautiful crop of hay, and in July a second cutting was housed for winter feeding of sheep. In February 1869, the patch was broadcasted with a mixture of eight bags of Wando and six hundred pounds plaster. Last January I turned over, with a twohorse Monitor plough, all of this twenty-five acre field, but the five acres well set in clover, and in April planted it in sorghum. The three acres, upon which there was a scattering stand of clover, lias had from its first ap[ pearance above ground, infinitely the best sorghum in the field. And w\y ? Because the dead clover, the young clover and the roots of clover turned under in January, manured the land. Another experiment. In 1867, I sowed a cow-penned patch of an acre-and-a-half in barley and clover, and reported upon this patch in October and November mouths, 1869, of the Rural. In May, 1870, a very poor crop was taken from the patch, and in October last the young clover was pastured off by sheep till scarcely a vestige was apparently leit. immediately alter tne iana was turned over with a two-horse Murfee in the same furrow, and sown in wheat. This land, which three years ago was a clay bank, seemed now a rich, friable, black soil, which I felt sure would produce a wheat crop; but feared the clover was gone. So after harrowing I sowed the surface with orchard grass seed. The wheat and grass seemed choked out by as luxuriant a growth of clover as I ever saw. Where the seed came from I can't tell, but the crop is there to show for itself. Third experiment. I have stated above that the crop of the fall of 1869 was pastured. During this time the cattle and sheep were housed every night, and their droppings sheltered until March, 1870, when they were hauled out and thrown in furrows upon which beds were made, and the land planted in cotton. This last spring, almost every one of those beds, : r several inches on either side of the row of cotton stalks, was covered with a thick growth of clover. Those beds were reversed, and the land again planted in cotton. At every working of the crop during the summer a young growth of clover had to be destroyed. Fourth experiment. In April, 1870,1 selected a half acre of good grey laud, so thickly covered with nut grass that the ground could not be seen, for a sweet potato patch, to test the power of vines in eradicating nut grass by their shade. The land was laid off in five feet spaces, and heavily manured in the drill with manure from the cow-house, and bedded upon. In May the slips were set out. First of July the vines could not be seen for the nut grass. The patch was then thoroughi_ 1? -i i i i i i... a i i,?_ ? a more becoming manner you will be sent to jail; so begin and tell me what you know about the fight at Rice's. Witness?Well, gentlemen, Captain Rice he gin a treat, and Cousin Sally Dillard? Court?(after deliberating,) Mr. Attorney, the court is of an opinion that we may save time by letting the witness go on in his own way. rroceed Mr. Harris, with your story, but stick to the point. Witness?Yes, gentlemen. Well, Captain Rice, he gin a treat, and cousin Sally Dillard come over to our house and axed me if my wife she moutn't go? I told cousin Sally Dillard that my wife she was poorly, being as how she had the rheumatics in her hip, and the big swamp was up ; howsoever, as it was she, cousin Sally Dillard, my wife she mout go. Well, cousin Sally Dillard then axed me if Mose he moutn't go. I told cousin Sally Dillard as how Mose was the foreman of the crap, and the crap was smartly in the grass, but howsoever, as it was she, cousin Sally Dillard, Mo3e mout go. So they goes on together?Mose, my wife and cousin Sally Dillard, and they comes to the big swamp, and it was up as I was telling you ; but being as how there was a log across "the big swamp, cousin Sally Dillard and Mose, like genteel' folks, they walked the log; but my wife, like a darned fool, histed her coats and waded through. Chop3?Heaven and earth ! this is too bad; but go on. Witness?Well, that's all I knoiv about the fight. ^ ^ StaT This story is told of a father who was one evening teaching his little boy to recite his Sunday school lesson. It was from the j fourteenth chapter of Matthew, wherein is re- I lated the parable of a malicious individual j who went about sowing tares. "What is a tare? Tell me, my son, what a j tare is?" asked the anxious parent. "You had 'em." "Johnny, what do you mean ?" asked the father opening his eyes rather wide. "Why, last week, when you didn't come for three days," said Johnny, "I heard mother tell Aunt Susan that you were on a tare." Johnny was immediately sent off to bed. + First Stranger?"I declare, sir, that women fire orettincr more outrageously distrustm? ly piuugueu mm uueu, uuu uy ouptumuui a most luxurant growth of vines and nut grass covered the land. Last November the vines were cut and carried off; the potatoes dug; the land ploughed and cross ploughed and about three pecks of barley harrowed in until the land was perfectly smooth. Last June a fair crop of barley was harvested, and the stubble on at least half the patch was, in a few days, perfectly hid by a complete growth of clover, which all the summer kept the nutgrass so in check that there is not a healthy stalk of the pest to be seen. The first crop is springing up beautifully. "What effect the succeeding growth of clover will have upon the nut grass time alone can tell. The experiment, however, is well worth pushing to a further test, for if clover can be made instrumental in destroying nut grass, its value will be increased ten fold. The only difficulty with clover is securing a stand. I have sown it in November in all kinds of grain, and secured a perfect stand. I have, at other times, with the very same practice, been disappointed by a most perfect failure. I have sown it in February and never secured a perfect stand. Good authority says it should be sown on well-prepared, clean land in March, and allowed to battle with weeds and grass for twelve months without being trod upon. My judgment is a fall sowing on clear land, say in September or October, will ensure quite as good a stand, and so occupy the ground by spring, that a contest with weeds and grass will not be necessary. At any rate, a stand of clover once obtained need never be lost and is worth more annually than a crop of cotton, could the latter be grown without work. D. Wyatt Aiken. HOW I MAKE GUANO. For several years past I have had what bones were obtained on the farm manufactured into guano in the following manner: From time to time as there are bones to dispose of, I take them to my hen house, lay them on a flat stone, and with an old ax break them up fine and let the hens eat them. This is all the labor that is required, and the bones with the other articles of food which the hens eat are digested and made into as good guano or manure as I have ever used for any purpose. It is not necessary to wait a year for guano made in this way, for it is ready to use at any time that it is wanted. My method of saving and preparing the droppings of my hens is as follows: In the hen house under the roost there is a tight floor, and over this floor I spread dry, fine earth or muck, and occasionally, as the manure accumulates, more earth is spread over it. When I wish to clean out the manure, the contents are shoveled over and mixed together, and it is then in a shape that it can be used at any < time or place. My practice is to clean out j Spring and Fall, and by having a supply of dirt to use when wanted, I manufacture and save, with very little labor or expense, a very valuable fertilizer?the quantity depending on the number of hens kept; but the amount of manure which can be made from hens in this way is much larger than one ; would suppose, who has never practiced it, ; and the value of it when carefully saved and ; applied to the cultivation of crops, is probably . . .1 - - i ,/? l more, in proportion to tne cost 01 Keeping, ; than that of any other kind of stock kept on ! the farm.? Correspondent Gennantown Tele| graph. HOW TO KEEP MILK SWEET. The Southern Fanner mentions that a teaspoonful of fine salt or a horse-radish in a pan of milk will keep it sweet for several days. Milk can be kept a year as sweet as when from the cow by the following method: Procure bottles, and as they are filled, immediately cork and fasten the cork with pack i thread or wire. Then spread a little straw | at the bottom of a boiler, on which place the , the bottles with straw between them until the I boiler contains a sufficient quantity. Fill ap with cold water, and as soon as it begins to | boil draw the fire and let the whole gradually cool. "When quite cold take out the bottles ; and pack them in saw-dust in hampers, and 1 stow them away in the coolest part of the i house. flfMrai) for tltc Mfortb. CONDUCTED BY REV. ROBERT LATHAN. [Original.] REFORMATION NEEDED. Everything that man touches, or with which he comes in contact, is in constant danger of being corrupted. To err is human. This polluting and contaminating influence fails not to reach the church of the living God. In these days, as well as in former times, there is a peculiar disposition to do unconstitutional deeds and to inaugurate unconstitutional measures. This is the case not only in the state but also in the church. Old theories and old practices are deserted, and new theories and new practices adopted. The constitution of the church is the Bible. W liatever, either relating to doctrine or mouc of worship that is taught in this constitution, is binding, and must be exactly obeyed. On the contrary, whatever is not found in this constitution, whether it refer to doctrine or mode of worship, is of doubtful propriety and dangerous in its tendencies. Many things are practiced by all professed Christians which are not enjoined by the Bible; and on the other hand many things are enjoined by the Bible as duties, which in the practice of professed Christians, are entirely ignored. This has always been the case, and whilst man remains as he is, always will be the case ; but there are times when neglect or disregard of constitional order and teaching, is more noticeable than at others. Progress in religion is very similar to a reformation. I At the present time, unless we are greatly mistaken, we need a reformation in all the churches. There is too much worldly-minded-1 uess, and too little vital godliness. The Bi- j ble, the constitution of the church, is too much neglected. We need in the pulpit more gospel and less modern bombast; in the pews we need more searching of the scriptures and less conformity to the ways of the world. The church needs reformation. It needs to be brought back to the symplicity of apostolic times. Christian people need to be taught of the Holy Spirit. There is an effort making at present all over Christendom, to wed the world and the church. The result will be ruinous if the effort is generally Successful. ? [Original.] GOOD OR EVIL. That which, when properly used, is a blessing, becomes a corse when abused. All the gifts of God's providence are of such a kind and character as to contribute to our welfare when used in a legitimate way; but when unlawfully appropiated, they become the innocent occasion of great misery to those upon whom they are conferred. To be born the heir to wealth ; to be surrounded by refined and educated neighbors are blessings | which it is not easy to estimate. When, however, these blessings are contemned, they are, by a law of providence, made to increase the contemner's misery and intensify his dcgredation. The principle is so plain and so frequently demonstrated in the history of the human family, that no one can have failed to observe it. It is a grand principle which is applicable to both secular and spiritual things. The gospel is either a savor of life unto life, or it is a savor of death unto death. It either makes men better or worse. In strict conformity with this principle, we find the most abandoned creatures on earth are those who enjoy the means of grace but who despise and reject them. By an immutable law good be i uri - 1 !_ comes evil, u nere goou is rejeeieu evu mcreases. God, as a God of providence and grace, holds us strictly accountable for all that he has bestowed upon us. When little is given, little will be required; and on the same principle, when much is given much is required. A little blessing, however, if there be any little blessings, becomes often, through the neglect of the individual upon whom it is conferred, a great curse. Sweet becomes sour, joy grief, pleasure pain, hope despair, and life death. When God grants privileges, and the individuals upon whom they are bestowed, neglect or unlawfully use them, God usually takes away these privileges and bestows them upon some one who will use and not abuse them. These privileges, whatever may be their character, are taken away by a process both easy and natural. The intellect is permitted to become darkened, the affections to grow callous, and the will to become stubborn and rebellious. This accomplished, the individual is hopelessly ruined. Good has become evil to him. + Tiie Gentleness op Jesus.?The conversation of Christ with his disciples, when he took leave of thein at his last supper, was most sweet and friendly, talking with thera lovingly, as a father with his children, when he must depart from thera. He took their weakness in good part, and bore with them, though now and then their discourse was very full of simplicity; as when Philip said : "Show us the Father," etc; and Peter, "I will go with thee unto death each freely showing the thoughts of his heart. Never, since the world began, was a more precious, sweet and amiable conversation. Is it not a shame that we are always afraid of Christ, whereas there never was in heaven or earth a more loving, familiar, or milder man, in words, works and demeanor, especially toward poor, sorrowful and tormented consciences ? Hence the prophet Jeremiah prays, saying: "0, Lord, grant that we be not afraid of Thee." I expect more goodness from Kate, my wife, from Melancton, and from other friends, than from my sweet and blessed Saviour, Jesus Christ; and yet I know for certain that neither she nor any other person on earth will or can suffer that for me which he has suffered ; why then should I be afraid of him ? This, my foolish weakness, grieves me very much. We plainly see in the Gospel how mild and gentle he showed himself toward his disciples ; how kindly he passed over their weakness, their presumption, yea, their foolishness. He checked their unbelief, and in all gentleness amonished them. Moreover, the Scripture, which is most sure, says: "Well are all they who put their trust in Him."?Luther. m Jesting on Sacred Things?There is scarcely a week passes but the ear of such as reverence God's Word and his name, is pain \*-l Ktr naorea iocfa nn lmlv fViinflPG HP hv nilTlfl CU tJ J WrtlCU JVCW UU HUiJ Vlliugw} V* ?#j |^?...W on sacred passages. It is not only the vulgar prints which we exclude from our homes, but respectable and first class magazines which are guilty in this matter, and offend the taste of their more refined readers, whom they imagine themselves to be gratifying. The most tender entreaties, and touching appeals, and terrific threatenings of Scripture are put into the mouth of some "hard-shelled Baptist," or other ignoramus, and are henceforth | made the occasion of mirth to many as often j as they recall the ludicrous stories. The orj dinances of God's house, the glories of heaven j and even the woes of the lost, are made sub: jects for jest by these would-be-wits, who are not confined to the ranks of the scoffer, but who sometimes come down from the pulpit, where they have pleaded with men to honor j God and to heed his words, and by some misapplication of a passage of Scripture turn 1 the heart of the hearer away from the truth I of God. flMdvett's f qiflttmcnt. [Original.] CHARACTER. The wisest man the world has ever seen, says "a good name is better than precious ointment." There is no exaggeration in this. The experience of thousands of years proves that everything else, when compared with a good name, is mere trash. Character is the reputation which we sustain. It is that which an individual secures to himself by mode of life. It is the result of no one single act, but is the result of a series of acts continued through a life time. It is one of those things which cannot be bestowed upon us by others; we must work for it. No man can give an other a character for honesty, for virtue, for integrity. or for anything that is good. It is that i which results from our own conduct. He who conducts himself properly in all his intercourse with his fellow men, makes for himself a good name. He may not accumulate wealth or fame; but he will make for himself that which is better than gold. On the contrary, he who conducts himself improperly, will accumulate that which will out balance all the wealth of the world. He will go down to the grave dishonored and disgraced. As there is nothing so precious as a good name, nothing should be so carefully protected. This is more important since a fair fame is easily tarnished. It is difficult to conceive anything so delicately tender as character. This is especially true of the character of a young girl. The rose that blooms upon her fair cheek is not more delicate than her good name. How careful should every girl be that she avoid the very appearance of evil. One immodest deed, one improper act, one single word may cover her character with the garments of shame for life. Every one needs to be on the watch lest their fair name be polluted ; but the young of the female sex most especially. [Original.] BE A MAN. The highest order of creatures, of which we know anything, is angels; the second order in the scale of creation is man. Hence, the highest and noblest aspiration that can incite the human mind is to be a man. Sometimes we hear individuals singing in lugubrious strains, "I want to be an angel." This is all nonsense. No sensible man ever desired to be an angel. No sane man ever, for one moment, contemplated that either in this world or the next, he would be converted into an angel. Such a change comports well with the doctrines of the heathen philosopher, Pythagoras. Man is a complex being, or a ! creature of a two-fold nature. Partly he is material, and partly spiritual. By the former he is allied to creatures of a lower order, and by the latter he is brought in close proximity to existences of a higher order. To be a man in the fullest sense of the word, the innate powers of the soul must be cultivated. The intellect must be enlightened, the sensibilities purified and the will directed iu its volitions. The lust of our nature, and mere animal passions and appetites, which, when unrestrained, assimilate us in conduct with the beast of the field must, before we can be I a man, be put under subjection to the higher powers of the soul. To be a man is to discharge our duties to God and man. > 4 [Original.] "NO CHANCE." Often we hear individuals complaining that there is no chance for them. There is a class of young men who are continually giving utterance to this or similar expressions. In some instances it is literally true. There is a class of men and boys in this world who are like Ishmael of old. Their hand is against every man and every man's hand is against them. They were born to bad luck. Nothing happens to them as it happens to other individuals. Poverty and want stare them in the face and an evil demon follows them go where they will. It is not very interesting to attempt to discover why this is the case, but it may be very profitable. Negatively it may be put down as a fact that those who have no chance, are not troubled more than the rest of mankind with physical defects. They are no hideous malformations. Neither are they men tally weak. They are no idiots. JNature, in many instances, has done her part well for them. What then is the matter with these poor creatures ? Why is it that a class of men are doomed to live without a chance ? We think we know, but are afraid to say. Some one may get on a high horse and rant around considerably. The truth sometimes hurts. Well, young man, if you will promise not to get too awfully mad, we will tell you why you have no chances. Hold your ear close. Let no one else hear it. Now listen. You are lazy and dissipated. If you will leave off your bad habits and go to work you will have chances in abundance. Tell YourMotiier.?Iwonderhow many girls tell their mother everything ! Not those "young ladies" who, going to and from school, smile, bow, and exchange notes and cartes de visitc with young men who make fun of you and your pictures, speaking in a way that would make your cheeks burn with shame, if you heard it. All this, most incredulous and romantic young ladies, they will do; although they gaze at your fresh young faces admiringly, and send or give you charming verses or bouquets. No matter "what other girls may do," don't you do it. School-girl flirtations mav end disastrously, as many a foolish and wretched young girl could tell you. Your yearning for some one to love is a great need of woman's heart. But there is a time for everything. Don't let the b'oom and freshness of your heart be brushed off in silly flirtation. Render yourself truly intelligent. And above all, tell your mother everything. "Fun" in your dictionary would be indiscretion in hers. It would do no harm to look and see. Never be ashamed to tell her, who should be your best friend and confidant, all you think and feel. It is very strange that so many young girls will tell every person before "mother," that which is most important she should know. It is very sad that indifferent persons should know more about her fair young daughter than she herself.?Fanny I Fern. + ^ ? The All-seeing Eye.?One day the astronomer, Mitchel, was engaged in making some observations on the sun, and as it descended toward the horizon, just as it was setting, there came into the range of the great telescope the top of a hill about seven miles away. On. the top of that hill was a large number of apple trees, and in one of them were two boys stealing apples. One was getting the apples, and the other was watching to make certain that nobody saw them, feeling certain they were undiscovered. But there sat Prof. Mitchell, seven miles away with the eye of his gieat telescope directed fully upon them, seeing every movement they made as plainly as if he had been under the tree with them. So it is often with men. Because they do not see tie eye which watches with a sleepless vigilance, they think they are not seen. But the great open eye of God is : upon them, and not an action can be conceal- J ed. There is not a deed, there is not a word, there is not a thought, which is not known to God. ? By humility and the fear of tne Lord art riches, and honor, and life.?Proverb. fading. AN ORIENTAL LEGEND. Emancipated from the body of a Syrian, who had just died of cholera, a human soul flew up to the gates of Heaven. Knocking gently on the golden portals, which swung round on their ivory pillars on the instant, it gently asked for admittance. "Where do you come from ?" demanded the angle with the beautiful but impassive countenance, who guarded with a flaming sword the entrance of Paradise. "From Aleppo," answered the Syrian. "What were you?" "A merchant." 'Tell all, and conceal nothing, continued the angel, "for all ia known up here." If all its actions were known, thought the poor soul, it was an extraordinary thing to ask it to recount them. But it did not dare express its surprise, or endeavor to dive into the inscrutable. With great equanimity and scrupulous exactness, the soul of of the Syrian went through the history of its career in the flesh. The merchant, Abdalla, had purchased as cheaply and sold as dearly as he could, troubling himself very little on the one side or the other with the follies or necessities of mankind. The world was a vast bazaar, in which buyers and sellers alike did their best for their respective interests, which was to get the better of each other. He had visited most of the ports of the Mediterranean in pursuit of his business; he had been up and down the wondrous Nile; he had wandered among the stupendous ruins of Thebes, and ascended the mightiest of the Egyptian pyramids. He had sailed to the Persian gulf, and down the Red sea, and across the Indian ocean. He had been to the diamond valleys of India, and to the far-off regions of North Asia where the mountains teemed with gold. If his means and power to do good were not as great, his thoughts were as generously inclined as Haroun Alraschild's; and if he had not gone through as many adventures, he had traveled over as much land and sea as Sinbad, the sailor. "And is that a full and true account of your doings upon earth ?" inquired the angel. "A full and true account, to the best of my belief and recollection, of all that is worth relating." "But you have not said a word about your domestic deeds and relations. Were you ev er married?" "Ah! I once passed that Rubicon, certainly," said the soul of the merchant, with a sigh. "Pass in, afflicted soul," said the angel, "and join the noble army of martyrs and confessors." And the soul of the Syrian passed in, singing a joyful canticle of thanksgiving, not improbably like Tom Moore's lay of the enraptured Peri who had been kept so long waiting in the same neighborhood: " J?y, joy forever! My task is done! The gates are passed and heaven is won !" The gates were about to be closed by the angel when another soul, having arrived during the latter part of the foregoing conversation, requested to be allowed to pass through. The angel subjected the new comer, which was a male soul also, to the usual examination, concluding with the same question as in the former case, whether it had been married or single. The foolish soul thought that if the one which had just been passed in, and whose confession it overheard, was deemed worthy of being admitted into the regions of bliss for having married one woman, he might justly claim admittance for having married two. He said so, therefore, without hesitation, confident of being deemed a double martyr, and rewarded accordingly. The angel, however, on hearing- the words "twice married" uttered, cried out in a voice of mingled anger and contempt: "Begone, silly soul! Paradise receives the unfortunate, but has no place for fools!" Never Relinquish Your Object.? Never relinquish the great object of your ambition, whatever it may be. Let it be, more or less distinctly, ever present to your mind. Let it exert a controlling influence over all your actions. In the first place, have some definite aim to your life?some distinct and leading object of your ambition; and be ambitious to accomplish it. An aimless, objectless life is a dull and dreary waste. It lacks stimulus, zest and enjoyment. In choosing an object of ambition, choose a worthy one, in behalf of which all the strength, all the higher and nobler faculties of your nature, may be enlisted. Have an aim that you wyiott nnKtiiokinrrlv on/I nrnil/llv ffl t.llA Hit* J UUUIUOUlUglJ UIIV4 ?JA. VV4V4IJ VA???W?V vw ? light of the day, and for which you may safely challenge the respect of all. Then pursue it earnestly and steadfastly. No matter what discouragements assail you, or what obstacles present themselves in your way, keep right on in the pursuit of your object. If your progress be slow, still persevere, and make it sure. Do sorrows come to you ? They come to all. The continued adherence to the great plan of usefulness which you have laid out will do as much as anything can to brighten your path, even when grief and gloom overshadow it. Press on, through good or evil report, through darkness or through sunshine, amid storms or under peaceful skies?still press on, and never relinquish the object of your ambition. Want in Life.?There is nothing more fortunate for moderate genius than to be born poor. The "silver spoon" class are a very comfortable people, no doubt, but the great trouble with them is, their education is mainly of this order, and if they don't become very great they are extremely likely to become the very opposite. There is no middle ground for them, for they were not taught to regard any, and consequently, they are,as a general thing, unfit for it. Poverty has helped men to solve some of the greatest problems of life. Half its brave deeds have been a necessity, and the most of its noble savings have been born of a determined opposition. It does a man good to put him at his wits ends. Emergencies make men. Any man can be a general or a pilot in a calm ; but storms show the metal. Reputation is made more by boldness and will, than by ability and patience. Life is too short to wait for the tide whose ebb leads on to fortune. We must make the most of present opportunities, but we shall hardly do it, unless present opportunities are in the present necessities. The man who works out these to the fullest extent is the most successful man. 4 What Shall we Drink ??The best drink for sedentary persons is hot tea and coffee of moderate strength, and that at meal times; it is the best drink at meals for all who are past fifty years of age; all such will live longer by use of these as a beverage. The fact is obserable with the naked eye that a glass of cold water during a meal arrests digestion immediately ; which process can only be resumed when this cold water of fifty degrees has been long enough in the stomach to absorb heat sufficient from the body to warm it up to a hundred degrees. That a hot cup of tea at a meal does revive a person who is old, or feeble, or cold, or tired, is the daily experience of millions. If a healthy person greatly desires a drink of cold water during a meal, let him take it by all means; it is intended to inaLa MnnAMol i/Iao Ai* +Ua mooaao 4 Vt rt f UU iLU tliC gCUCiai iucu iui bug uiooogoj buub the habitual and large use of cold water at a meal, or within half an hour before or after, is not wise, not safe, and that a cup of hot drink is always safe, is always beneficial; if now and then there is an exception it should be set down as a peculiarity or an idiosyncrasy. ? ? aSS?" The habit of scolding i? very disagreeable to persons of sensitive organization, and grates upon their nerves m a lerrttrte manner. Many a home has been wrecked by the disagreeable habit, which begins witk trivial faults, and finally imagines faults where none exist. Even if they do exist, scolding does no good, but often provokes to a continuance of evil ways, or formation of new bad habits.' How Three Members of One Family Became Insane.?Turnkey Geo. McKeon yesterday conveyed Patrick Craven and his sister to the Poughkeepsie Insane Asylum, where their brother had already been confined. On the trip down, they were continually eraployed in giving utterance to expressions of affection for each other, and for another brother, Rev. Father Craven, who accompanied them. The clergyman came to this country some years ago, and recently, at his desire, his sister and two brothers followed him. The three had been well educated, and brought with them about 85,000 in money. The omens were all in their favor, and the indications pointed to a successful and happy career in the land of their adoption. By advice of their brother, the priest, they purchased a farm in Essex county, and went there to live. They had been brought up in the strictest possible manner, and to have implicit faith in the Catholic Church. Their affection for each other was only rivaled by their devotion to the religion in which they had been educated. To thera, a heretic was the worst possible person, and all who did not look upon the church with their eyes was unfit for association with them. Near them, lived a fellow-countryman, who, it seems, was a Free Mason. One of the brothers entered this man's dwelling, and while there, learned of his friend's connection with the Masonic order. To him a Mason had always seemed to be a representative of the evil one, and when he was apprised of the fact that he was on intimate terms with one of the dreaded fraternity, he ran from the house. The incident caused a depression of spirits, which brought on sickness, and this in turn produced insanity. The sister watched by her afflicted brother's bedside for two weeks with all the devotion of which a woman is capable, and wore herself out in ministering to him. At last her strength gave way, ana she became ill herself. Her disease resembled brain fever, but when she recovered her physical power, it was found that she, too, was a maniac. The double misfortune preyed upon the mind of the other brother, whose reason also soon fled, and these three persons, devoted to their religion and to each other, became irrational beings. One brother was conveyed to the insane asylum at Poughkeepsie two weeks ago. The sister was placed in the hospital in this city, and the other brother removed to Malone, where he subsequently attempted to take his own life. It was determined early this week to send these two to the insane asylum also, and yesterday they were placed there by Turnkey McKeon and their sane brother, the priest, whose grief at parting with them is beyond the power of words to describe. Great tears rolled down his cheeks, and he seemed to be almost heartbroken. The only relief to the sombre coloring of this recital is the statement of the phy sician in cnarge 01 me asyiura, wnicn is io the effect thas their cases are not entirely hopeless.?Troy Times, June 21. ? ? 4 Simon's Wife's Mother.?A countryman was in New York on an August Sunday, and crossed the Brooklyn ferry in the morning, for the purpose of hearing Beecher. But lo ! the Plymouth pulpit was occupied by a stranger, who delivered a tedious, common-place sermon from the text: "And behold Simon's wife's mother lay sick of a fever." Mr. Beecher was away taking his vacation. In the afternoon the man thought to console himself for his morning's disappointment by listening to E. H. Chapin. He was shown to a front seat by the sexton of E. H. Chapin's church, and in due time was horrified to see the minister of the morning appear in the pulpit. The poor victim heard, for the second time, the sermon from the text, "And behold Simon's wife's mother lay sick of a fever," and went out of the sacred place very much discouraged. Mr. Chapin was taking his summer vacation. In the evening the man, thinking to redeem in a measure the defeat of the day, accepted a choice sitting in the Reformed Dutch Church, for the sake of hearing the genial, eloqueLt and scholarly Bethune. But his heart was broken when the evil spirit that had possessed him all day got up and gave out a hymn. And when the text was announced, "And behold Simon's wife's mother lay sick of a fever," the party, who knew all about the subject, rushed wildly from the overdose, and ran to his hotel. Dr. Bethune was taking his summer vacation. The next morning the man took the first train for home, and, stepping into the car, there was his ministerial friend of the day before, with his sermon under his arm. The New York bells were ringing a fire-alarm, and says the minister to his lay brother: "Friend, do you know what these bells are tolling for ?" Says the countryman looking hard at the sermon : "I don't know; but I shouldn't wonder if Simon's wife's mother was dead. I heard three times yesterday that she was down with a fever." A Lesson for Girls.?An intelligent gentleman of fortune, visiting a country village in Maine, not far from Bangor, was hospitably entertained and lodged by a gentleman having three daughters. Two of these, in rich dress es, entertained the distinguished stranger in the parlor, while one kept herself in the kitchen assisting her mother in preparing the food and setting the table for tea, and after supper in doing the work until it was finally completed, when she also joined her sisters in the parlor for the remainder of the evening. The next morning the same daughter was again in the kitchen, while the other two were in the parlor. The gentleman, like Franklin, possessed a discriminating miud, was a close observer of the habits of the daughter, and watched an opportunity to whisper something in the ear of the iudustrious one, and then left for a time, but revisited the same family, and in about a year the youug lady of the kitchen was conveyed to Boston, the wife of the same gentleman visitor, where she now resides in an elegant mansion. The gentleman whose fortune she shares, she won by judicious de| portment and well directed industry. ? BQF The question at a country tea party turning on the impropriety of mixing up cake with a pinch of snuff in the fingers, a boy remarked that he had seen his mother do it, and never drop a bit of snuff. "Why, my son, how can you lie so 1" "Well, mother, maybe you did drop just a little." BST A New England advertiser wants a "woman who fears the Lord and weighs 200 pounds," and the editor of the sheet in which the advertisement appears remarks that "the experience of most men is that a woman who weighs 200 pounds rarely fears the Lord or anybody else." ear .r time ^otevmr vumjiuirr. TERMS?-IN ADTANCEt One Copy, one year, f 3 00 One Copy, Six months, 1 50 One Copy, Three months, 1 00 Single Copy, 10 Two Copies, one year, 5 00 Ten Copies, " " 25 00 persons who make up clubs often or more names, an extra copy of tne papor will be furnished one year, free of charge. ADVERTISEMENTS Will be inserted at One Dollar and Fifty Cents per square for the first, and Seventy-five Cents per square for each subsequent insertion-less than three months. A square consists of the space occupied by ten lines of this size type, or one inch. No advertisement considered less than a square. Semi-Monthlv, Monthly, or Quarterly Advertisements, will be charged Two Dollars per square for each insertion. Quarterly, Semi-Annual or Yearly contracts will be made on liberal terms?the contract, however, must inall cases be confined to the immediate business of the firm or individual contracting. Obituary Notices and Tributes of Respect, rated as advertisements. Announcements of Marriages and Deaths.and notices ofa religiouscharacter,inserted gratis, and solicited. Personal Communications, when admissable; Communications of limited or individual interest, or recommendations of Candidates for offices of honor, profit or trust, will be charged for as advertisements, " 1 Jw.lil4IBHi%m J. WiLKKR, Proprietor. R. H. McDoiriLS&Go^Dnwistajmd Gen. \u'ta. San Francisco. Cel.. and 32and 34 Commerce at- H.z. MILLIONS Bcnr Testimony to their Wonderful Currulvr Effects. Tliey arc not a vile Fancy Drink* mode or Poor Hum, Whiskey, Proof Spirit* and Refntto Liquors doctored, spiced and sweetened to please the taste, called "Tonics," "Appetizers," "Restorers," Itc., that lend the tippler on to drunkenness and rnln, bntareatrue Medicine, made from the Native Roots and Herbs of California, free from all Alcoholic Stimulants. They are the GREAT BLOOD PURIFIER and A LIFE GIV,v,i omvmpi.B. a nsrfect Renovator and Inviitorator of the System, carrying off all poisonous matter and restoring the blood to a healthy condition. No person can take these Bitters according to directions and remain long unwell, provided their I tones ore not destroyed by mineral poisons or other means, and the vital orgnns wasted beyond the point of repair. They are a Gentle Purgative an well as a Tonic* possessing, also, the peculiar merit of acting a8 a powerful r.gcnt in relieving Congestion or Inflammation of the Liver, and of all th-j Visceral Organs. FOR FEMALE COMPLAINTS, whether in young or old, married or single, at the dawn of womanhood or at the turn of life, these Tonic Bitters have no equal. For Inflaninatorr nndChronie Rheumatism and Gout, Dyspepsia or Indigestion, Bilious, Remittent and Intermittent Fevers, Diseases of the niood, Liver, Kidneys and Bladder, these Blttsrs have been most successful, rincb Diseases are caused by Vitiated Blood, which is generally produced by derangemerit of the Dlgoatlve Organs. DYSPEPSIA OR INDIGESTION, Headache,Pain in the Shoulders, Coughs, Tightness of the Chest, Dizziness, Sour Eructations of the Stomach, Bad taste in the Mouth, Bilious Attacks, Palpitation of the Heart, Inflammation of ths Lungs, Pain in the regions of the Kidneys, and a hundred other painful symptoms, are the offsprings of Dyspepsia. They invigorate the Stomach and stimulate the Jorpld liver and bowels, which render them of unequalled efficacy in cleansing the blood of all Impurities, and imparting new life and vigor to the whole system. FOR SKIN DISEASES, Eruptions, Tetter, Salt Rheum, Blotches, Spots, Pimples, Pustules, Bolls, Carbuncles, Iling-Worms, Scald-Head, Sore Eyes, Erysipelas, Itch, Scurfs, Discoloratlous of the Skin, Humors and Diseases of the Skin, of whatever name or nature, are literally dug up and carried out of the system in a short time by the use of these Bitters. One bottle in such coses will convince the most incredulous of their curative effects. Cleanse the Vitiated Blood whenever you find its impurities bursting through tho skin in Pimples, Eruptions or Sores; cleanse It when you find it obstructed or sluggish in ths veins; cleanse ft when it is foul, and your feelings will tell you when. Keep the blood pure and the beAlth of tho system will follow. PIN, TAPE, and other WORMS, lurking in the system of so many thousands, are effectually destroyed and removed. For full directions, rend carefully the circular around each bottle, printed In four languages?English, German, French and Spanish. Old prejudices are dying out. New facts are killing them. The idea that invalids, weakened by disease, can be relieved by prostrating them with destructive drugs, is no longer entertained except bv monomaniacs. Ever since tbe introduction of Dr. Walkers Vinegar Bittihs, it lias been obvious that their regulating and invigorating properties are all-sufficient for the cure of chronic indigestion, rheumatism, constipation.diarrhoea, nervous affections and malarious fevers, and they are now the standard remedy for these complaints in every sso null ui mo UIIJuui SOLD IiX ALL DRUOQISTS AND DBALHB8. J. Wai.kkk, Proprietor. R. H. McDonald & Co., DraagtaU wd Oen. Aetx.. San Francisco. Cal..nnd 34 Commerce at, N.T. JulyGtli 27 ly "O HI cagoT I Inll One Hundred and Forty Firms have testified to the preservation of their Books, Papers and Valuables in the terrible CHICAGO FIRE. HERRING'S PATENT CHAMPION FIRE AND BURGLAR PROOF SAFES Awarded the Prize Medals at the World's Fair in London, At the Exhibition Universelle in Paris, and The World's Fair in New York. ALSO, WINNER OF THE WAGER OF Awarded atthe Paris Exhibition to the BEST SATE 1JN TEL WUJtbE I HERRING'S NEW PATENT CHAMPION BANKERS' SAFE! Patent high and low steel-welded, combined witli Patent Franklinite. Proof against the blow pipe as well as the drill. With Patent Hinged Tongue and Grooved Door and Patent RubberPacked Flange. Proof against wedges, nitroglycerine and gunpowder. Manufactured only by HERRING, PARREL & SHERMAN, 251 and 252 Broadway* cor. Murray, St.* N. Y. PARREL* HERRING & CO.* Philadelphia. HERRING & CO.* Chicago. HERRING* FARREL & SHERMAN* New Orleans. WALKER, EVANS <ft COGSWELL, Agents at Charleston, S. C. April 18 16 3m ESTABLISHED 1857. L. II. MILLER, MILLER'S SAFE AND IRON WORKS, BALTIMORE* MP. SALESROOM: 265 BALTIMORE STREET, (One Door above Hanover,) FACTORY: Square bounded by Henrietta, Claret, Fremont and Warner Streets. Every variety of the Best Fire and Burglar Proo Safes, Bankers' Chests, Improved Combination Locks, Banlc Vaults and Doors. 9 11* Send for Illustrated Catalogue and Price List, lz,WU J.JN USHi?Tii.aTiiiU in aw rixvius. Near References :?National Bank, Chester, Smith and Melton, Chester; John Agnew <fc Son, Columbia, S. C. DOORS, SASHES, BLINDS, &C. P. I*. TOALE, manufacturer and dealer, NO. 20 HAYNE STREET AND H0RLBEGF8 WHARF CHARLESTON, S. C. This is the largest and most complete Factory of the kind in the Southern States, and all articles in this line can bo furnished by Mr. P. P. TOALE at prices which defy competition. A pamphlet with full and detailed list of all sizes of Doors, Sashes and Blinds, and the prices of each, will be sent free and post paid, on application to P. P. TOALE, Charleston, S. C. July 12 28 ly PENCILS. A LOT of Carpenter's, Red'and Blue, India Rubber Tips and cheap Pencils, for sale by T. I). GRIST.