Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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r # ' a s . .. 1 ... fc - 1 ^ ? ggg? g~^g^!g^ ~ - i i>*. LjiW1P^;,^RI3T'l , S? i%tnftent jfonilg jffchspaptr: jor % |rgmufiro of % $fclitital Atrial, ^gritnlhtral aitir Commercial fntemts of % Ifontj;. . YOL. 13. '. : * YORKVILLE, S. C., THURSDAY, AUGUST 15, 1867. C ? _ ? I !_ - ! ,. .- - - - >. - .- , -c ..,? ?T,-V, ..MMh, fc-J . . . . A fwttg. "GOING ALOJ?E.? With curls in the sunny air tossing, With light in the merry blue eyes, With laughter so clearly ontringing, A laugh of delight and surprise; All friendly assistance disdaining, And trusting no strength but Ms own, The past fears and trials forgotten, The baby ia,"going alone!" What woful mishaps have preceded This day of*ejoicing ana pride! How often the help thai he needed Has carelessly gone from his side! He has fallen While reaching f<f? sunbeams, Which last as he grasped them have flown, And the tears of vexation have followed, But now he is "going alone." And Ml through Ms life he win ?nqy? , a nils lesson again and again; He yrill carelessly lean upon shadows, .. Be will fall and weep over the rain. The hand whose fond rdasp was" the surest, ? Will coldly withdraw from his own,The sunniest eyes will be clouded, .v And he will be walking alone! ^ He will leaxn what a stern world we live in, And he may grow* oold like the rest; * And just keep a warm sunny welcome, For those who seem truest and best; Yet chastened and taught by past sorrow, t 'And stronger and manlier grown,, " Hot trusting his all to their keeping, ? *' He learns to walk bravely alone. 'And yet not alone, for our father, The Altering footsteps will guide. Through all the dark mazes or "earth-life, And "over the river's" deep tide, Oh! here is a Helper un&iling, A strength we?an perfectly trust, When all human aid unavailing "The dust shall return unto dust." CVS.I S9f THE DOWN-EASTER AND THE BULL. There will be a "smart chance" of "bull" in this story. I cannot promise that it will be a good story or a fanny story, but" I am keen to swear that it is a trye story. " What I am about to relate happened in Musca tine oounty, Iowa, midway between Iowa City, the capkal of the State, and Muscatine City, a flourishing town on the Mississippi river, in a section of the country called the Wapsinoenoc Settlement, from a creek bearing that name which runs through the settlement. It was '52 (and that part of Iowa was then thinly settled) that I found myself one evening at the "Eagle Hotel," in West Liberty, a village of some five houses about one mile east of Wapsinoenoc Creek (Wapsi?white, noe?earth, noc?creek; literally white-earth creek), and situated on a beautiful prairie billow. Some half a dozen travelers and villagers were lounging in front of the ample fire-place in the barroom?for though the settlers had only a few days since finished their harvest, the evenings were somewhat cool, and a small fire was necessary to perfect comfort?talking of the prospects and whether there was likely to be a large emigration pass through to California in the spring, to buy their surplus feed and other produce, when a new character burst upon the stage. As the door was flung open, all eyes were fixed in a stare of astonishment and wonder upon the new oomer. The stranger was a tall, raw-boned, lantern-jawed individual, with flaxen locks straggling about his aT./MiL4aiK> TTia Inner sninrila lees were encased in a pair of jeans, and he wore a ooat of the "ateelpen cat,'' and in color what he would have denominated "blue nut," with an oil-doth cap drawn so tightly down upon his head that it had the appearance of having been pasted on. Then, what appeared most strange and unaccountable was, that he was wringing, dripping wet His whitish-yellow ear-locks were parted down to his cheeksj and streaks of dirt marked the course k of divers miniature water courses across his forer head and down his nose; water dripped from the claw-hammer tails of his coat and from the wristhands of the same. On his back he carried an oil cloth bag, securely fastened by stout leather straps which crossed upon his breast Marching into the middle of the room with an immense clatter of wet cowhide boots, he halted and cast an inquiring glance around the circle occupyin^benches in front of the fire. Bagely, the landlord of the "Eagle," arose, nodded, and said: "Good eve'in', sur." "Heow d'ye dew ? Be yeou the landlord o' this ere house?" "Yes-r." "Want t'know! Reckon you couldn't keep a feller here., nor give him a bite o' nuthin' for supper, could yer?" . . "Yes-r." "Yer mean ter say ye ken bed and breakfast me ?" "Yes-r." "Gol darn glad to hear on't?an' ef you ken only just mix a feller a little suthin hot an' strong, with a good deal of rum in't, an' but little water, it'll do me a mazing site o' good." _ "Yes-r." r "Strong, mind?a good deal o' licker. You've hot rum?" "Yes-r." "A good deal o' rum in but little water?stiff, as the old deacon used to say?stiff, Mr. Landlord." "Yes-r." While the landlord was preparing his rum, the stranger stood in front of the bar, with his pack upon his back, evidently bent on seeing that fiMyjorrect thing was done in the rum-and-water I ^iHKgling. Then, having imbibed a' 'regular snort3jpphe asked the landlord to a3sist in removing his This being done, he was about handing his carpet bag over to the landlord to put behind the bar, when he caught sight of an immense rent in it, and therefrom protruding the corners of articles of clothing within it. The instant he made the discovery the carpet-bag fell from his hands, his jaw dropped, and for a few seconds he stood the very image of despair. At length he roused himself and striking his clenched fist against his forehead, he howled in a voice of heart-rending agony: "Ruined, ruined, ruined 1 Tee to tally ruined; I busted to mash 1 One hundred and sixty acres o: the best land that ever lay out er doors, ripped al to flinders! 0, Sarer Ann, little knowest thoi that we are a ruined, busted family 1 Little yeot thinkest thou art a beggar. 0, Jerusalem 1 Hov shall I ever meet you since this destruction hm been wroughted ? Arfter all our skrimpin', anc screwin', an' turnin', an' twistin'; arfter sellin' the two-year old heifer an' the nine shotes, and arftej thou, 0, Sarer Ann, goin' to church in a caliker. we're a busted family! 0, Jerusalem! All, all lost, gone in a minut! 0, heow, little Jed anc Sarer Ann, kin I meet yeou ?" This outburst from the tall Yankee took us al by surprise. We could not imagine what had hap pened to cause him so much alarm and grief, fo: the poor man was absolutely beside himself wit! terror and despair, and tears were flowing plenti fully down his brown weather-beaten cheeks. "What on earth has happened to you, sir, t cause you so much distress ? You are certainly no lamenting at this rate over that rent in your car pet bag?" asked I, advancing to where the Yan kee stood. "0, no, no; holy Jerusalem, ef 'twas nothin else but that ! Oh, murder, murder, I darsn hardly think on't I ' There's poor, poor, Sarer Ar : feelin' so proud, and talkin' to little Jed about ei ^ fine new home in the prairies, just like hie an " her us't often to do, ah' here, 0, Jewdas 1 is a hi quarter section of the neatest land in Iowa gone i eternal smash!" The poor fellow's,feelings now completely ma tergd him, and he hid his face in his hands ac sobSed li^e a child. His last words, however, gai me' a clue to the. mystery, and taking up his carpe bag 1 commenced naming one snirts, vests an handkerchiefs^ all thoroughly water-soaked, till t the bottom I found a carefully rolled bundle. Mr. Yankee had now controlled his grief, an stood near, with his hands on his knees, bendin over me in breathless suspense. Unrolling a hici dry shirt, I found within & large brown paper pai eel, and within that a handkerchief, careful] pinned, and within ita package done up in a newt paper. On opening the newspaper I found wha I had expected to find from the first, viz: a lan warrant for one hundred and sixty acres of Got eminent land, all snug and dry. It is almost useless to attempt to describe th extravagant joy of the Yankee. The moment h saw that the land warrant was safe and sound h gave a perfect howl of delight, and snatching j from my fingers he pressed it to his bosom as h might have done Sarer Ann, had she been present and with tremendous strides commenced pacin back and forth across the room. It seemed im possible for him to be still an instant "Glory to God 1" he cried; "glory to the mos highest I Sarer Aon, all our savin' and skrimpin ain't in vain I Goon with your talk?plan am kalkerlate 1 Take little Jed on yer knee and sing In the evening, when yer go out to milk, look t'ri where the sun is goin', an' think, there I've a hap py home 1 Your Peleg's there; he'll hev the lan an' we'll be happy yet! The steers is saved ; th shoats is all right! the heifer ain't gone in, am ?? ? > - i 1 * i "nvn i n Old barneys uuunu wuuuuu x-cucioi v, jw see in your midst a happy head of er family?yoi witness a joyful human?" "If you will excuse my interruptingyou, sir, am it is a fair question," said I, "how did you come t get in this sorry pickle?" /'Excuse the question ? Sarting, sarting! Tel yer the whole story in a minute?give the hull par tiklers?a full account! Jewdas! what a narre escape that quarter section did hev!" "Well, but let's have the story." "Yaas, sarting, sarting! Well, gents, my nann is Peleg Snodgrass, son of Deacon Snodgrass from deown in Maine, in the?" "Never mind that; tell us how you got so wet.' "Yaas, sarting I Well, you see back here 'beou a mile 'beyant the Nockeraoseoff Creek, I wu walking aloDg as happy as a lark, looking abou over the prairies and thinkin' heow beautiful th< great All Seeing had made the world, and wha awful taters this sile would raise, when I seen i big drove of cattle just one side, I wur admirin' a heow fat and slick they wur, an' lookin' at thei good pints, when an almighty great brindle bul jumped up out'n the tall grass, and begin to shak his all-fired big curley head and beller an' switcl his tail and paw the ground over his back. I con eluded it war best to let on like's if I warn't afraid and so I begin to whistle 'Rake her down Sal,' am other good chunes, thinkin' as heow I'd slip pas the blasted old cuss ; but jist as I got oppersite he gin a snort an' begin to walk toward me, stop pin' onct in a while to fetch a rake in the sile witl his fore feet I putin a few quicks step abou then, but was afeard to run, cos I knowed if I di< he'd feel encouraged. Putty soon he begin to corn on the trot, and then I let out in a kind o' canter Then he ris to a lope, an' seem', it wur no us waitin' for him to quit, I just loosened these er< legs of mine and some down to my best time, looked 'beout for something to climb, but thar wur in the cussed prairies, and not ^a peastick b be seen nigher than a mile ahead-rficow I did wan to stop right thare and cuss the blasted prairies, gin a glance over my shoulder an' see the everlast in' cuss with his nose dowjrund his tail up, comin jist on the dead lay deown, and I let my legscoun another-notoh. The chase went nip and tuck til 11 got near the creek, when I see that the bull wen only 'beout a hundred yards behind me, Lord Je hossyfat I but I felt queerish when I was sartin hi were gainin'; it give me such a skeer that nr heart seemed to dissolve in dishwater, and my leg kinder lost their feelin1 so I couldn't fun. But oould see a lot of trees ahead a little ways, and ef! could hold eout three minutes longer I'd be to 'em I looked back, and the sufferin Mosis ! ef the bul warn't within twenty feet of me, his eyes all greei and his nostrils looked like I might a put my heai in 'em?an' as red as a bolt o' new flannel! 1 go almost to the creek, when I found the timber wer on the opposite side from me, an' the bull so clos I could almost feel his breath on my cheek, thot o' my famerly in that offel time ;*sez I'Farewell, little Jed, an' you, Sarer Ann, my get tie companion 1' Jist at this instant I see a stum right on the bank of the creek, and made a sprin for it, expecting to git on top on't, but it happene to be holler and I landed inside. I jist had root to squeeze deown in it, an' git my head below th top, an' not a darn bit too soon wur I in, for i my top knot went deown, Mr. Bull's head cam up?whack agin the stump till everything jinglec "You better believe I felt thankful I wur house at last; and the old cuss of a bull, wasn't he dii appointed! Lord, heow he did rave round thf stump, switch his tail, paw the sile, and beller ? peeped up at him, jist to see how he were gettir on: but I kalkerlate I peeped down again off suddent, for I hadn't more'n got ray head up ti his horns comes a straddle on it, an' his skull h the stump like a maul. The little incident coi vinced me that the best thing that I could do wa in the langwidge of Squire Wheeler, to lay |lov watch for black ducks, and chaw poke root Jii as I'd made up my mind not to put up my hea 1 again, I felt the awfulest pain take me in the le 1 I ever see, an' at the same time somethin' con 1 menced to whiz, whiz, deown in the bottom o' ti 1 hollow stump. I tried to look tieown to see whi ! on airth it could be, but the holler was so narrer couldn't get a chance to look, and all at once popped into my head that therfc were a rattlesnali ' in the stump. When I thot o' that I made a i offul plunge to get out of the horrid den ; but tl f cussed bull warn't more than six feet off, and tl ' ?'A msvaj] ?m?T Tin /v\mn of mn Avll nViicf 1 lUUlib lie oceu UJJ uvou uv wuiv MV LUV tuu vuw\ i The fust I knowed I had dodged back into tl i stump again and hadn't more'n touched bottom r fore I felt another awful keen bite in my leg. * made a rush to get out agin, but the cussed, infe I nel bull, drove at me, and I was bleeged to p( ' back agin. As I squeezed down into my stun " agin, I would bet er barrel o' rum that Sarer Ai i would be a widder in less than ten hours. I tri< i to cipher out which would be the most becomii 1 for a Christian, to be pizened to death by an awf great snake, or have my innards slung to the fo I winds by a cussed brindle bull. I thot o' the mi tyrs?of Amos biled in ile, Elizer smeared wi r honey, and Joseph tempted by Pottifer's wife, a 1 concluded that I ort to profit by their example, a - grin and bear it no matter how much it went ag the grain. But I got jist then an offul bite or ti o and to save my soul, couldn't help stickin up r t head, and the bull bein' on hand, let drive a - filled my eyes witlf dirt and bark; so deown i- bobbed agin for snaikes. I now begin to git bit offul frequently, an' in bad places; the whizzi ' got louder, and I squirmed and twisted and screec 't ed at a. fast "rate, and in grabbin' round I ketched in, .spmethin' and got a bite in the hand, lr "I held my hdlt on to it, and behold! it proved id to be nothin' but a yaller jacket 1 When I found ill I wasn't snake bit, I felt something lift off my bo stumick like a bag o' shot Glory to God! see I; I may live to purtect the widder and the fatherless s- yit I I felt for a rainnit as if I didn't keer fur all id the yaller jackets between the Mississippi and the re Missouri?but the blessed Jerusha! I hadn't t- seen one there where I seen a thousand in another d ftrinnit. The whole holler o' that stump got yaller it with them. I couldn't stand it long that way. I tried to think o' some kind o' prayer suitable to d the occasion, an' commenced: 'Now I lay me g down to sleep;' but by Jewdas, I couldn't pray for cussin'. I jist swore, bull or no bull, I wur gwine p. to emigrate from that particular spot; but every y time I put my head above the stump the bull i- pitched at me, and hjt the stump just like a maul ,t ?he looked offul ferocious, with his eyes as green d an' blazin' as fire and the foam droppin' from his L mouth. I wux bobbin' up and deown so continnerly that I wuz abeout half the time in the stump e. and half the time eout, and at last I felt the stump e beginnin' to give way under the thumps o' the ine fernal old brindle heathen, and I swear my heart ,t roze straight on end. I made up my mind to git ri/Mif a' flint onmoliATir nnrtw nilinV Kilt, iilflt ftt ? VVUV V VUWV) DViUVUVnj VJUtVMJ MVIW * WW - the minnit, I raised up my head to jump eout and g run, the old cuss came at me, with head deown l_ and tail up, at locomotive speed, and as I dodged deown he struck the stump, tore it up at the roots ^ and shot me eout like I was a bumbsh<?, dean over the bank inter the creek; and after me come ^ stump, bull and all. The forefeet, or some on 'em I o' the bull, struck me right on the back?an' I j reckon that's what tore the carpet bag?knockin' me deown inter the muddy bottom o' the creek. When I riz, the fust thing I seed wur the old felg ler's tail, and as I couldn't swim a lick, I made a .j grab for it and made him tow me ashore. When a we got there I let go, and run one way while the a bull run the other, and that's the hull long and short on't." IgisrtUatirottsi jMittae. II I'VE BEEN THINKING. I've been thinking, I've been thinking, r What a glorious world were this, Did people mind their own business more, And mind their neighbor's less, For instance, you and I my friends, e Are sadly prone to talk, Of matters that concerns us not ' And others' follies mock. ? I've been thinking that if we'd begin To mind our own affairs, t That possibly our neighbors might r Contrive to manage theirs, t We've faults enough at home to mend, It may be true of others; 3 It would seem strange if it were not, t Since all mankind are brothers. 1 Oh! would that wo had charity t For every man and woman, Forgiveness is the mark of those ? Who know "to err is human." 11 Then let us banish jealousy, 2 Let's lift our fallen brother. And as we journey down life's road, Do good to one another. , From the Southern Cultivator. 1 'GEMES MUNRO> ON THE COW-MILKER. t Mississippi, (what ustkr be) June, 1867. ' Editers Southern KuUivater:?I war sittin kalmly at home, enjoyin the sweet repose of being un^ der my own vine and fig bush?smoking my pipe j and ruminatin over the ups and downs of ?his here B present onsartin xistence, with Rhody An by my side, noddin and nittin by turns?that is ter say, B Rhody war doin this latter?when she begun, durB in a wake interval, in this wise: "Gernes, my dear, j why don't yer move outer sight that Buggy Plow j karcass? Thar it sets, knocked up agin the same stump, whar it got smashed more'n a year ago? . taint done our family any good. Ther sight of it j gives me the hippo, makes Robert swear, and you yerself aint the same man when you passes that ? stump?wish you'd hide that kontrapsion or burn if nr tttq ninf Viod nn ln/?lr ainnn ifa Wn linrP Tt. j ar a monimint of your foolishness, Gemes, and will B hant the happinis of this here family as long as it stays here; ought ter be a warnin to us all?that is B ter say?warnin ter you partikular." Says I, "Have yer got any more Gift Enterprises to sell 8 now, Rhody?" Give er puff with my pipe, and j- sorter looked round ter see how she'd take that.? j Howsever, she war noddin, and I war glad ; fur I had ventured on a tender .subjeck?one in which I j didn't keer to skirmish words with Rhody, knowin Q i'd come .Qut 2d best, and have to surrender thout .j diskresion. I know'd what war the better part of t valler, having found out long ago twont do to ag gervate folks of the fcmaii persuasion. They ar a e quer sorter mixter, anyhow?got kreation by the j back er the neck, now. Talk er bout yer "Lords of kreation!" Aint they Sardines besides yer Miss x LucyC. Stone Whales ? "Weaker vessels I" I p say, berhold woman's rappid progressive strides up g North. Yes, sir, see her thar with 1 fell stroke, ^ snach herself from the wash tub, ther kichen fire n or darnin or stocins?"etid omnvs generribus"? e and light on top of er horse, gwine round with M. ^ D.'s saddle-bags, feeling pulses and givin pills, e pukes and latin perskriptions-^-standin up in the j pulpit and trying ter explain ther Book, what says j they ought ter "be silent;" or else, with krackin toes, kommunicatin with spirit hero's of anuther 3~ world?liftin up the future veil, and tellin yer thout j fail, who youke goin to marry for $$. You'd skase , expec one of their sex ter perklaim in public on any ' j tex; but they do. Yes, sir, berhold X. L. D. M. D. Anny Dickerson?spoutin out from the phorum . on permiskuous subjecks?making the shade of 1 Dermosthernes git shadier in shame. Whither, oh 1 whither, ar we poor men foUcs er driftin. r' Rhody drapped her nittin, which woke her up, and stopped my koggitations on above dangerous ^ grounds. "What's that you said bout Gift Enterprise, Kol'n Munro," said Rhody. I didn't like x that "Kvrnelaforesaid. Want I glad, when I ie her'ad Robert ax, at the back door, "Whar's dadlt dy," and didn't I git up quick and go see what the j boy wanted. Folks git in a hurry some times fur jt partickular reasons, and I had mine, just then?I I did. Bob had just come from the Depo, and |n brung me a letter and a little box. "Well, I tuck ie the things and went back to whar Rhody war sitie tin. "Sakes er live, Gemes, what's that yer got, this time?" "Box and a letter," says I. "Don't jg put the box down so near me," said Rhody, "it a might be a Torpeder shore enuff, ter blow up this j naborhood, fur sarvin that Yank Skool Marster r_ so?wish Sal Morrow had never bin born." Well, jp I busted open the letter, and red ther kontents ter ,p Rhody, which went runnin in this wise: '' PnTn firmpr Munm?T have seen vour satiri cal strictures on the "Sulky Plow," (uqjust as I conceive them,) and take the liberty of this day expressing you a small patent machine, of recent inUI vention, for which I am sole Agent, trusting hereur by to convince vour biased Southern mind that one ir- good thing, at least, can come out of this our Nazth areth. I only ask that you give it a fair trial, and n> candidly state its merits through the public prints. , I have the honor, &c._, &c., ? R. M. JONES, Jr., Agent 'in For Colvin's Patent Cow Milker." vo "P. S.?Minute directions, &c., accompany, ay Yours, R. M. J." ad "Didn't he say kow-milker, Gemes?" "Yes," I says I. "Gracious goodnis," said Rhody, "it es must be a live thing?throw the kontrapsion in the in' fire. I bet its full er snaiks, lizards, skorpians, ih- and a thousan things ter kill folks with." "No," said I, "it ar a machine, Rhody, and can't lrart "Don't stand to reason," said Rhody, "how can merchine sue er kow?" "Don't know," said ] "let's see," and I opened the box and tuck tl trick out It tor a kurius kontrapshun. You'i seed these here double barrel fixing folks star through in a Theater. W^ll, it had 4 things so ter like them, up side down, and made outer injn rubber, Mid fixed on ter a piece er kast iron?2 b tie bellose handels and a spout Hke them on a gri mill, whar the meal komes cuter; smelt sorter ID hot varnish and injun rubber kombined. Rhoc tuck off her specks, woundup her nitrin, stuck tl needle in the ball, folded her arms on her boson bleared her throat, sighed, and bergun lettin off: this here sorter stile: "Kolnel Gemes Munro, tl hole world, from New Hampshire to New Orieei ar gittin ter think we ar the foolish est family in i and I begin ter believe myself ef the fool kiD war to kome by here now, you and Robert won have a slim showin for your lives." Gittin sort* riled myself, says I "spose y>mr ife's insured i the Elartfbrd Konniticut Kompany." Says sh "first and foremost, thar's yer Buggy Plow.">> t ru-ft JL CO | DCkJTO X) ?uu bUni a JW1 wyf pr I4rv? "Yes," says she, "and thar's yer kotton picki Mercaines what wore out your breeches,, and" "Yes," says I, "and thar's yer ioaterfa.il whic foch a rain old Noah's flood were a drizzle beside. Then drawin another sorter sigh, puttin on hi specks and pickin up her nittin she said, "Wei Gemes, I wouldn't be surprised if we aint all fools. "That's my opinion said I, and we koincided f< the 1st time?1 feelin like I'd whipped a hard fig] for once in my life. I then bergun readin the d recksliun for using the merchine. When I got 1 that place where it says it "can milk a kow in minitu," I read that out loud. "Well, well, well, said Ithody, "in 3 minits??jest suppose it cou] do that, Gemes, wouldn't it be a terryble savin < time?takes me most 1 hour ter milk 4 kows?don strip em clean then, even?bersides leaving a t for the kalf. Wouldn't that kontrapsion suck a the tits at once, thout leavin any for the kalf""Yes." says I, "yer don't want no kalf?you Id that" "What makes the kow give down her mil when you begin, if thar aint no kalf to start ha Sides, how do you keep up yer stock er kattle, < yer kill all the kalfs,'^said Rhody. ."Howeve proof of the puddin ar terchaw the bag. Geme) spose you and Robert see what the thing can d this e renin, thout lettin anybody else know nuthi about hit. The nabors made blowin horns of th( mouths bout them other things all over the com try?shan't know nuthin about this fix in, though. Well, that evenin, when I heard the kows a lowi up at the cup-pen, Rhody, Robert, I and th< merchine, sorter sneaked out er the house, up t< the cup-pen. "Gemes, you must try the thin furst I aint got nuthin ter do with hit?unde stand that. Thar's old Brindle, she are a gent kow; if it kant milk her it can't suck nuthin?sa Brindle, back yer laig," and she saxoed, and squatted down sorter under her side, put the pij gin on the ground, and ther tits in the sockets an bergun pumpin. I heerd a quer sorter strangli nois the 1st pump. Kome to find out, Brindle 2 hind tits were heap smaller than the front one ? ti i. /*. n l .i. 11 it. ana woman't nt. oocxets war an me sumo avu Sides, the thing were so orfdl heavy, I couldn pump and hold it too. Rhody went on tother sic ter held up whDe I pumped, hut the dratted thic strangled wore en ever?insomuch it steered Brii die, and she begun kickin, and put her foot rigl in the piggin, and spilt bout 2 tea-spoons er mill what had tome out. "Let'B tryBrindle's heifer, said Rhody, "here are all the same size." I the went to the heifer, put ther mersheen on and be gun pumpin?this time everything fit After a li tie 13eed 2 or 3 draps er milk kouie er drappi down, but just then my arm give out holdin up tl mersheen, and Robert started round ter tother sic ter hold it up, but Rhody said, "No you don' Robert, that kow never would let anybody komec that side thout kickin." "Well." said I, "it ar failure, and we'll have to give it up." Rhody ha been redin Shakspire or somebody else that evei ing, so she straightened up, put one arm kimb tuther on her bosom, (sorter stage actin like) an then says she ter me, talkin away down in hi throat, says she, "I 2 have given suck andoughti kno how tender tis ter love the babe that milks u ?(twan't none of yer Yank injun rubber pum suckers nuther, Gemes Munro, but hod brain laigs, and arms)?though it war smilin in my fao (and war a good child, Gemes,) I'd girke its bom less gums from my bosom, and dash ther braii out agin the 1st stump, had I so sworn, as youbot Yank Merchines have done?'even though they la\ aigs.''' That war the ' 'onkindest cut'' of my lifi Says I, "Rhody, I'll be dad-ratted all over if don't foller yer hint," and so sajin, I snatched tl boneless, gum'ed pump sucker from the heifer bosom, and war in the act er smashin it ter flii dere, when Robert said, "hold on daddy, let n try my hand at ther fixin." I knowed that Be war an inventive genus, and I give hit ter himfeelin mighty kurious though. Robert run dov to the house, tuck the circingle off his mammy side-saddle, and brung hit up?fixed the circing on the machine to hold hit, puts the tits in, at buckled the fixin tight over the heifer's hack."Robert's perfected the feller's merchine," sa: Rhody, "and if he war a Yanky, he would have patent right fur it too.'' Robert was sorter liffcc up by these enkouragin remarks of his mamm; and jumped bout quite spryly?bergun pump: ruther hard, and hurt the heifer. She stoppt r>h?win_ swallowed her cud. turned her head roum and bergun smcllin the merchine. I seed she w: gittin oneasy, and says I?short and quick, like war mad?says I, "saw you wenah," butshe didn saw that time. No, sir. So fur from it, she b gun kickin right and left?with 1st one foot?i the tother one. 1st thing I knowed, Robert, pi; gin, and what little milk thar war, kommingled a pile, bout 10 feet berhind the kow, an inkongr ous mixtur, and in a inkredible short time?Ro ert hollerin 0 Lordy! milk in his face, eys, nos yeres?fact is, in all his orgins?bottom of pigg kicked plum out an a rollin long down toards tl house, like a little wagon wheel. I heard som body xclaim, "Gemimy, Gems, dont she rar? lot out fur yerself. I looked round, and seed Rhot goin up a sapplin, quicker'en a gray squirrel.Thar want none of your kourtin poetry, then. N sir. That old oman war so skeered she kouldn't kourted a piece from the smallest pamflet?doc know whether she war able ter say her "now I li me down to sleep,'' even. She want feelin supin jest then. That thar heifer warnt gittin pacifi< durin all this koramotion, nuther. She rippt and ranted round in a ring tryin ter look und herself ter see what war trying ter suck her?th< she stoDDed. swelled up ter bust the circingle, b it war a new one, and would'nt bust She thro' ed down her head, put her tong out a little ai bellered like she smelt beef blood?then run stn through a ten rail fence, thout jumpin?nockin tl rails like pipe stems, and tuck a bee line fur Pi son Morrow's house. "Geemes didn't that heifer kaper orful?" sa Rhody, settin away up yander out on a limb. Says I, "Robert get up and git a ladder. Y mammy can't klimb down like she went upth lookir: up at Rhody, says I, "give us a passage poetry for the okasion," but she wouldn't, anc tuck Lhe heifer's track ter see what had berkoi of her. I found bushes skinned, and cow bar the way long till I kome to the Parson's palins. Thar I seed a big gap down, and over in the koi er of the yard that heifer lay, pantin powerful, a tryin ter look over her sides. Old Miss Morroi V klothes line war twisted round her horns, and a white klothes skattered perfukely all rotind the [; house. I went up to the cow, unstrapped the le merchine and tuck hit off. That heifer got up i nd re went ther back track for home, Howin orful. Eves ery door bout the Parson's house' war looked and r- barred. Jtfit then I heard a winder raising, and m Sally Morrow popped her head outer the 2d story, t- "KoL Munro," said she, "what upon the yerth st ails yer kattle?look at them palins and all our re klothes." I didn't keer to heernuthin more?war ty lookin fur old Miss Morrow to pop her hed out ie next So I just put that merchine ter one side er a, me, jumped over them pallins, and got away from in thar like the heifer, and bont as bad skeered. ?e Now, Mr. R. M. Jones, Jr., Agent fur afore13 said kow milker?My Dear Sir:?Your Kow Milt kerara kow drver. That heifer aint rive down er nary drop of milk since she war pumped, during Id her randum running through them bushes. I er think the runnin, aforesaid, pnt the pumps ter in work, and sucked her plum dry, afore Bhe fell down, a, Don't think you er any your folks kould, in one - week's-"pumpin, git milk enuff out ov a kow, with '' them sorter machines, ter thicken a kup er hot in water tea fur a 6 months baby?pervided you had ? ter hold up the fbrin and the cow wouldn't stand a ih circingle. Now, sir, your merchine has these here " "mcrritshit has kicked up a korfness atwixt the er Monro's and Marrows, diyed up a Durram heifer 1, in 20 minits, injured the morals and face of Robert, (he ain't done swarin yit; hardly,) ruined a )r new piggin, and put a poor old oman up a sapplin it ?which latter ar a skandal, in any kommunity.? i- Please keep yer home-made kalf s in yer own cowto pen, and if yer ever kum down this er way, Rhody 3 will make a dry nurse of you mighty quick, and what's uior'en that, I'll help her too. id ^am your'n, (ferever agin Patent Kow Milkers,) er ; GEMESMUNRO. 't P. 8,?I hope Mr. Editor, you will never be it tuck in with one er these aforesaid things. II - ' - _ THP-B ORDER HEROINE. Some years ago, before the State of Arkansas |j? was so densely populated as now, and when all the mails from Little Rock to the Eastern border were Jt nt>r*naA rtn linnuiKonlr thprp livpd A f<?W TTlilflS tt r, bove Horse Head, a*etout pioneer, named Jacob 3, Burnay. His wife Polly, and one child, nine years lo old, made up his family. His4hief business was n hunting, and his unerring rifle never failed to supsr ply his board and something over. His nearest i- neighbor was fifteen miles off, so he was little trou" bled with prying visitors. n It was early in the spring that Jacob started ?r down the river with a boat load of ftirs and skins, n- He left Polly in charge of the premises, and he [g left with her, too, a light rifle and a brace of pisr tols. She knew how to use the rifle, for never was le she happier than when her husband patted her on w the shoulder and said: "Nobly done, Polly, my I dear! I could not have made a better shot my5 self." And he had occasion to say this with truth, d too. in Jacob Burnay had been gone four days, when *8 towards evening a horseman rode up to the hun9| tor's door. He was a small muscular man about ?. forty years of age, and seemed inured to all hard't ships. As he sprang from his saddle, Polly made le her appearance. "Ah, Polly, once more here," ig the new comer said, as he drew a well filled pair of 1- saddle bags from the back of his fatigued beast it "Yes, and I'm glad to see you. Jacob has been c, gone for four days, and times are getting heavy." " "Jacob gone? Where?" :n "Down the river with a load of furs." r- "0, yes. Well, you shall have the company of t- Lant Morton for one night at least; so for the next in twelve hours you'll be safe." te "Oh, I feel safe enough," returned the woman le quickly, "only a little lonesome." t, Thus speaking, Morton threw his saddle bags in into the cabin and led his horse around to a low a shed where he made the animal fast, and fed him. id Lant Morton had been mail carrier upon that >> route for severai-jaors, and not opce had he pass5, ed to and fro without spending ti^pight at Burid nay's. Polly Burnay, just in the bloom of woman3r hood, knew his gentle, generous noble character, ?r solshe felt perfectly free and at home in his preie sence. p "Is it known on your route that your load is vals. uable ?" asked Polly. s, "I think not?though it uiay be. Still I am s- well armed, and I fancy it would be a tough job is for any one to tackle-old Morton." . it "A man was robbed on the creek a fews days if ago." i. "And the robbers have fled," added Morton, I carelessly, as he drew his mail bags after him. ie Morton went to bed at nine o'clock, as he was 's tired from his long ride. Polly had work to do, q- having neglected it while talking to her gue3t, so ie when she had seen him safe at rest in bed, she )b drew her basket to a little table where the candle ? was, and went to work on some clothing for her m child, who was soundly sleeping in the corner. 's The old German clock upon the wall with its le great weight and wind strings all exposed, had id struck ten ere Polly arose from her work. She ? had just pushed her basket beneath the table, when id the front door opened and two men entered. They a were in their stockings, their shoes being left outid side the door. y, "Hush!" uttered the foremost intruder, in "Speak but one word above a whisper, and you id die in a moment" 3, Polly reoovered from her quick terror and lookir ed up. She saw two ugly, stout, wicked men, one I of whom held a cocked pistol toward her. With i't a quickness of perception natural to her, she ktfew e- the pistol would not be fired, if she held her peace, Jd as that would make more noise than she could g- make, and further?she recognized in the foremost in a notorious ruffian who bore the name of Dick a- Gall us. b- She had never seen him before, but the minute e, description her husband had given of the man led in her to know him, and positively, too, for one big ie scar on the left cheek was mark enough, e- "What do you ask, gentlemen?" asked Polly, >k without betraying the least fear, ly "We have come to seethe mail carrier," one ? replied in a hoarse whisper; "where is he ? Don't o, speak too loud." a "He is long since asleep. Would it not do as i't well to see him4n the morning? We can find you iy a room and lodging." The fair hostess had said this for the purpose of >d gaining time. She knew very well that these men >d had come to rob the carrier, and was equally sure er that they would murder him if they could, and jn probably put her out of their way, too. They at have evidently learned of the valuable load he cariv ried, and meant to carry it in his stead, id "Never mind his being asleep. Show us where lit he is once," roughly replied Gall us, in answer to be Polly's last remark. it- The mild eye that could aim an unerring bullet at the foremost beast, did not even betray the id thoughts of the woman's soul, nor did a look tell ? her meaning. She was very pale but did not tremer ble. en "This way, sirs," she whispered. of And as she spoke she turned towards the door 11 of the bed-room pantry. She did not open it till ne both the men were close behind her. all ' 'Don't you hear him breathe ?'' ? "Yes," returned both rascals. And they did rn- hear a breathing, but it was of a child close at nd hand. v's As they answered her, she threw the door open ?it opened inward. The men saw a dark void, bat they passed forward. In an instant, Mrs. i Burnay leaped back. Gallus was upon his heels. With all her power the noble woman threw herself against the rear man, and the next moment both robbers lay sprawling on the cellar bottom. i This was the only door that opened into the deep i excavation, and the only means of egress was made by a perpendicular ladder. Could this have been ; moved, she would have drawn it up immediately, but it was spiked to its place, and she must let it ; remain. To close the door would he useless, for she had uot ready means to fasten it. So she did \ what she resolved upon at first; she sprang to the fire-place and caught the trusty rifle, and ooolring < it she moved toward the open door. She heard the curse of the robbers as soon as they reached j the ladder, and she soon knew that one of them ! had found it ] "Back 1" she cried, as she saw ahead above the threshold. The candle upon the table threw a dim light upon the spot, but it was sufficient She saw the robber raise his pistoL She had a husband?a child?and had set herself to save the ' carrier. With these thoughts dashing through her mind, she pulled the trigger. A sharp report went ringing through the house and its echo was a deep groan from the oellar bottom. Ere the second robber could show himself, Morton came rushing into the room with a pistol in each band. ' 'What is it?" he cried. ' "There I there 1" gasped Polly, pointing to the doorway, where a savage looking fkce had just presented itself. Lant Morton hacHbeen too much used to danger to waste time in conjecture, and immediately shot ; the robber dead, who. sank with a heavy sound i upon the oellar floor. "Are there any more?" he asked, cocking his ! pistol. ******** "And so you meant to save me?" remarked the 1 carrier, as Polly hesitated. "Yes, yes?I did. Yes, that was it." As soon as the noble woman had sufficiently recovered, she told him the whole story. Morton expressed his thanks as best he could; but after all, the moisture of his light eye, the changing of his countenance, and the very lack of language, told her more than words conld have done. After due deliberation, it was decided that the bodies shonld remain there until morning. In the morning just as the carrier was dressed, there was a rap on the door, accompanied by a voice he knew full well He hastened to open the j door, and gave entrance to Jacob Burnay. The 1 hunter had met a party of traders at Lewisburg, ( and disposed of all the skins to them, thus finish- | ing his journey six days earlier than he had antici- , pated. j Polly was soon upon her husband's bosom, and ( when he had told them his own story, Mortopgave ( him the adventure. Jacob was at first increduloos, but when he had seen the bodies, he was satisfied. "Polly, my jewel," he said, placing his arms a- j round her neck, "I am proud of you. I love you ( more and more, for every day I find more to love." And then turning to Morton, he added?"What ' do you think of such a wife?" " L "Ah!" returned the guest with deep feeling, "If poor Lant Morton had such a wife, he would not be a mail carrier." When Morton left he was directed to stop at the first settlement and state to the officers what had happened, and he promised to do so. He once more blessed the brave woman who had saved his life, and then set out. Late in the afternoon two , officers arrived at the cabin, and when they were shown the dead bodies, at once proceeded to remove them. And ere a week had passed, the whole settlement blessed the Border Heroine for the work she had done. ( AN OBLIGING DISPOSITION. There is nothing like an obliging disposition, I thought to myself one day, while travelling in a railway car from Boston to "Worcester, seeing a i gentleman put himself to considerable trouble to < land another gentleman, who had fallen asleep, at his destination. - ' "Passengers for West Needham I" cried the con- , ductor?"the cars stop but one minute." "Halloo I" exclaimed a young man in spectacles, at the same time seizing an old gentleman by the , shoulders, who was sleeping very soundly, "here's , Capt Holmes fast asleep, and this is West Need- ( ham, where he lives. Come, get up, Captain ; Holmes; here^you are." 1 The gentleman got upon his feet and began to i his. eyes, hat thft yaaag man. forced him along to the door of the car, and gently landed him on the roadside. Whiz went the steam, and we began to fly again. The obliging young man took his seat again, and said with a good deal of satisfaction to somebody near him: "Well, if it had not been for me, Capt Holmes would have missed his home finely. But here, he has left his bundles," and the young man picked up a paper parcel and threw it out "Well," he said again, "if it hadn't been for me, Capt Holmes would have missed his bundles finely." - * When we stopped at the next station", a lady began to rummage under the seat where Captain Holmes had been sitting, and exclaimed in great alarm: ' * "I can't find my bundle." "Was it done up in a piece of brown paper?" I asked. "Yes it was, to be sure," said the lady. "Then," said I, "that young man yonder threw i it out at the last stopping place.'' This led to a scene between the obliging young man and the old lady, which ended by the former taking the address of the latter, and promising to return the package in a few days, provided he should ever find it "Well," said the obliging young man, "catch me doing a good-natured thing again. What can I do for that poor woman if I cannot find that bundle?" Whiz went the steam, ding, ding, ding went the bell, the dust flew, the sparks flew, and the cars flew, as they say, like lightning, till we stopped again at the next station. An old gentleman start- , ed up and began to poke under the seat where Captain Holmes had sat "What are you looking for?" I inquired. "Looking for?" said the old gentleman, "why I am looking for my bundle of clothes." "Was it tied up in a yellow handkerchief?" I asked. "Yes, and nothing else," said the old man. "Good heavens I" exclaimed the obliging young man, "I threw it out of the1 car at Needham; I thought it belonged to Capt Holmes." "Good heavens 1" exclaimed the old fellow, with a look of despair, "who is Capt Holmes? That bundle contained all my clean clothes, that I was to wear at my son's wedding to-morrow evening.? Dear me, what can I do ?" Nothing could be done but to give his address to the obliging young man as before, and console himself with the promise that the bundle should be returned to him, provided it was ever found. The obliging young man was now in despair, and made another solemn vow that he would never.attempt to be obliging again. The next station was his landing place, and as he went toward the door of the car, he saw a silver headed cane, which he took hold of and read the inscription on it, "Caj)i Moses Holmes, East Needhaxn." "Well," again exclaimedjfcbe obliging ymmg man, "if here isn't Capt Hohaee' cane!" ; "Yes," said a gentleman^*!? got in at the last station, "and the old man is lame, too.. He will miss his stick." "Do yon know him?" inquired f& obliging poungman. * \ "Know him? I should think so," replied the poung gentleman; "he js my uncle." ? * . "And does he five at East Needham?" asked the obliging young man. * ^ " x "Of oourse he doea. - So never lived anywhere slse. 2$} Well, if it dont beat everything," Said the obliging young man, "and I put hinti out at West Needham, a mile and a half the other side of Ids borne." . m i" ' J * THE DEAD SEA. A correspondent of the Eojne Journal, writing from Palestine, gives the Mowing graphic desoriptioa'of the Dead Sea: . r - <?: "The Dead Sea is an fanpioasae memory that remains with me, after the glorious temphe 'oftbe Nile, and the holy places of JerusalfimKuveeach taken their position of relative interest in my mind, (already crowded with the thoughts of CbKaeum, Kremlin,, and Vesuvius.) On Approaching this wondrous sheet of water, the mirage -is so great that, even while you are an hour's ridafeomifc, pouseem to be upon itavoy border. The morning I saw it, melancholy fitly reigned in sky and air; my horse's hoofe sunk into theashes of the plain, that dry and yielding, gave back noscfcwL As if spelled.by the scene, our party became silent, and our hearts, oppressed by the atnpephere, heat heavily in our breasts; the muleteers were too far off for us to hear the jangling music of the bells on the asses necks, and, undistaibfed, we rede on like a company of phantoms, to a horrible rendezvous with the buried dead on the borders of this God-accursed lake. Even, the Arabs ceased their wild rude chants, aqd traded their tdfted ispeare idly through the ashy ground, plunged in a stcangi sad "kief" On the right haul stretched the curving, desolate mountains of the bare Wildenwapf Jndea; to the left leaped the yellow aad muddy Jordan, at the base of the mountains of Modb*-this holy river flying from the Bead -$ea,*as if its sluggish waves would poison its-aaered heart. Behind us the mud village of the Arabs, which men call Jericho to-day, as it was named eighteen hundred years ago; but before us a heavy curtain of leaden mist hung from the very clouds to the verge of the Dead Sea, and italmodfeeemed as if it was looped to the mountains of Jndea and Moab on either side by the straggling beams of semfigfat, whkh even icovld creep in, Bpite of this desoladoosef Nature ; yet nothing can describe to you. die awful sadness of the lake itself There it lies, waveless, motionless, like a molten leaden cover, (sealing down Sodom and Gomorrah,) with the stamp of n vi ' i .1 "* i * A ltou s ecernax wratn upon. r*o piasn or waves upon the shore; no music of a beating surf; ao plaints from the sea's melancholy heart; nothing bat the melancholy of sUenoe, the dumb and speechless grief, which is the saddest of aH Then tasting the water, it is salt, it is sulpfomras,.eadgitogether sickly, with a taste thai you wCU think of iter after. Not a sign of life upon it; noboata with plash of oars; no sailors with their pleasant songs; ' no frshermen upon its banks?alas, no fish canTiye in these waters?and this is the Dead Sea, a crawling horror in the desert, and a wrath in the wilderness." ; "According to Gunter."?The familiar phrase "according to Gunter" refers to Edmnnd Ghmter, a distinguished mathematician, who was bora in 1581, and died in 1625. He is best known as the inventor of the chain commonly used by surveyors for measuring land, and of the flat wooden role? marked with scales of equal parts, of signs, chords, etc., and also with logarithms of these various parts?which is used to solve problems in surveying and navigation, mechanically, with the aid of dividers. Hence, in the popular phrase, anything is "according to Gunter," which is done quite right, and admits of no question or improvement The English do not use this expression, but say "according to Cocker," in the same seme. Cocker, who was born about the year 1635, and died somewhere between 1671 and 1675, was the author of a work on arithmetic, which at once obtained great popularity, and run through a large number of editions. Almost all the arithmetics that have since been published in Great Britain, for the use i i - t * n n , , , i i or scnoois, nave ioiiowea ms metnoa very otoseiy; and, as many of them professed on the title-page bo be "according to Cocker," the expression gained general currency. " '? Gen. R. E. Lee.?The following extract is taken from an interesting letter written by a lady in * liberty, Bedford county, Virginia, to a friend in Alexandria: "GeneralLee, accompanied by his daughter, Miss Mildred, stopped here fop * night on his way to the White Sulphur. While here the General's old officers proposed giving him an entertainment in the shape of a dinner or supper, but he declined all public demonstrations. As he rode through the village, on his departure, the citizens assembled, and while he was passing along the streets every man raised his hat and stood with bowed head, The General also raised his hat, and this silenttribnte of the people to their favorite General, was indeed beautiful. A gentleman riding with the General at the time says 'that he felt like weeping, it being such a solemn tribute of respect ?so silent and sad?not a voice was raised?'twas the heartfelt love of a conquered people for a beloved hero.'" Capital Punishment in Japan.?He Japanese punish murder by decapitation; parricide and other such heinous crimes by crucifixioD. A prisoner sentenced to death is taken to the place of execution, surrounded by the officers, and having hung around his neck a placard, giving his name, age and rank, with his crime and sentence. After his execution his head is left suspended in sight for three days, with the placard still hanging to itArson is punished by burning the criminal at the stake; yet, as enforced, t)m penalty does not bring a very painful death. The prisoner is first kept on a very scanty allowance of food for some time. Then, before being taken oat for execution, he is overfed on rich and -highly-spioed'viands, till he becomes stupid and indifferent He is hastened to the stake, and wood and light materials are heaped about him. These are lighted at the same moment in several different places, and the victim is smothered by the smoke as quickly as he could be strangled by a rope. "? > ? ,?-,?V' Anecdote of Bishop Polk.?On the Sunday previous to the death of General Polk, whUfe stopping at a poor cabin, he sat drying himself at a fire. Children all loved him instinctively $ a little girl of two, far from dean, approached him ; he took her on his knee and began singing to her some nursery songs?she smiled up in his free and he said to one of his aids: "I wooderif tlr mother would he offended if I washed this child's luce, I do so love to kiss innocence?"?Exchange, Lady Subscribers.?An experienced editor pays a high and deserved compliment to the fair patrons of the press. Women, he says, ate the best subscribers in the worid to newspapers, magazines, Ac. We have been an editor for forty years, and never lost a dollar by female subscribers.