Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

. V .? 1 : - I rr \- : -r— ^ ■ J- l t K ''- / /.-AA i—°7'—*--•-- ~- SIXtY SIXTH YEAR ESTABLISHED 1852 ! - ’ SIXTY SIXTH YBHR VOL. XXVI. f- BARNWELL,.S. , DECEMBER W 1917 NO. 9. Satan abdicates IN FAVOR OF KAISER His Satanic Majesty Fiods That His Pupil Ha I Become More Apt Than The ,Master and ■* Makes Him Ruler of A'l IMi; T Louis Syberksop b4 Creston, la., lias acquired much 'fame in recent weeks as author qf a satire on Kaiser Wilhelm. Reports have come to him from Tumulty, Sec. Daniel, Roose velt and people in every State in the Union and in Canade for copies of his articles. Here it is, printed from the Boston Globe : The Infernal Region; June 28, 1917. To Wilhelm von Hohenzollern, King of Prussia, Emperor of all Germany and Envoy Ex traordinary of Almighty God. My Dear William :— I can call you by that familiar name, for I have . always been very close to you, much closer $kan you could ever know. — From tlie time that you were, yet an undeveloped being in your mother's womb I have shaped your destiny for my own pur-; pose. In the days of Rome I created a roughneck known in history as Nero ; he was a vulgar char acter and suited my.purpose at that particular time. In these modern days a classic demon ^aud efficient supercriminal was neetfed, and as 1 knew th6 Iloh- enzoRurn blood I picked you as my special nstrument to place on earth anRuniex of Hell. I gave vou abhoymaiambition^ likewise an oversupply of. ego tism, that you might^upt dis cover your own failings^ I twisted your mind to that mad man*with certain normal tendencies to carry you by, a most dangerous character placecT in power; 1 gave you the power of a hypnotist and a certain mag netic force that you might sway your people. I a in responsible for the de formed arm that hangs helpless ly on your left 1 , for your crippled condition embitters your life - and destroys all noble impulses that might otherwise cause me anxiety, but your stiong sword arm is driven by your ambition that squelpkes all sympathy and pity: ^ 1 placed in your mind a deep hatred ot all tilings English, for of all nations on ’earth I hate England most; wherever Eng land plants her Hag she brings order out of chaos and the hated cross follows the Union Jack; under her rule wild tribes be comes tillers of the soil and in due time practical citizens; she .is the greatest civilizer of the globe and I hate her. I planted in your soul a cruel hatred for your mother because she was English, and left my good friend Bismarck to fan the flame Fluid kindled. Recent his tory proyes how well ou/work .-was done. It broke your royal mother’s heart,but I have gained my purpose. The inherited diseas.6 of the Hohenzollerns killed you* fa ther, just as well as it will kill you, and you became' the ruler <tf Germany Trad a tool of mine, sooner than I expected. THREE EVIL SPIRITS TO ASSIST. To assist you and further hasten my work I sent you three eviL spirits, Neitssche, Treitschke, aqd later Bernhardi, whose teaclij^gs inflamed- the youth of Gerthany, who in good time would be willing and loyal subjects and eager to spill their blood and pull your chestnuts, yours and mine; the spell has been perfect. PLAYING NO FAVORITES. v You efist your ambitious eyes v toward the Mediterranean, Egypt, India and Dardenelles and you began your great rail- . _ . _ way to Bagdad, "but the ainbi- tious archduke^and liisr more ambitious wife stood in vour way. It was^then tlmt I sowed the seed' in your .heart t hat blos som Ufa assassination of the Duke and his wife and a.lj lu*ll smiled when we saw how cleverly we saAlled the crime onto Servia. I saw you set sail for the fjords of Norway and I knew you would prove an alibi. How cleverly done—so much like your noble grandfather, who also secured an assassin to ret, move old King Frederick of Denmark , and later robbed that country of two provinces that gave Germany an opportunity to beeomeui naval power. Murder is dirty work, but it takes a Hohenzollern- to make a way and got by Your opportunity was at hand ; vou set the world on fire and the bolls of hell were, ringing; your rape on Belgium caused much'' joy. It was the"begin ning, a perfect foundation of a perfect hell on earth, the de struction of noble cathedrals and' other infinite works of art was hailed with joy in the in fernal regions. You made war on friends and foe alike, and the mujrder of civilians showed my* teachings liadi borne fruit. Your treach - » 3 * »• cry*toward neutral Nations has tened a universal upheaval, the thing I most desired. Your undersea warfare was a master stroke, from the small est ’ mackerel pot to the great Lusitania you show no favor ites; as a war lord you stand supreme, for you have no mercy ; you have no,considera tion for the baby clinging to mother's breast as they both go down into the deep together, only t€Kj)e torn apart and leis urely devoured by sharks down among the corals. * ABOVE ALL EXPECTA TIONS. r - I havo strolled over the bat tlefields of Belgium and Fran L have seen your hand of de.- struction everywhere; its all your work, supef fined that made you. I have seen the flelds_of Po- - "i land, now a wilderness fit for prowling beasts only ; no merry children in Poland now, they all succumbed to frost and star vation—I drifted down into Ga latia where formerly Jews and Gentiles lived happily together ; I found but ruins and ashes; I felt a curious pride in my pu pil, for it waS all above my ex pectations. - I was in Belgium when you drove the peaceful population before you like cattle into slav ery ; you separated man and wife and forced them to hard labor in trenches. I have seen the ..fiendish rape committed upon young women and those who were forced into maternity, were cursing-the father of their offspring, and I began to wonder if my owli inferno was really up to date. , - \ You have taken millions'of dollar's from innocent victims and call it indemnity ; you have lived fat on the laud you have usurped and sent the real own\ ers away to starvation. . You have strayed away from legalised war methods and in troduced a code of your own. You are a liar, a hypocrite and a bluffer of the highest magni tude. You are a part of mine and yet yoti pose as the personal friend of God. Ah'! Wilhelm, you are a won der \ You wantonly destroy all things in your path and leave nothing for coming generations. ^CONTENT TO TAKE A BACK SEAT. . . I was amazed when I saw you form a partnership with the im- possible Turk, the chronic killer of Christians, and you a devout -Y- < Y'Y LETTERS TO SANTA CLAUS FOR INCOME TAX PAYERS. 1 Dear Old Santa: I am a little brown eyed girl. A* 5 Christmas i9 nearLy here I want yep 11 bring me a biisycle a ring some fruit anit OArntyf' Your little girl, v' t'- -■ Demariee Urafidoek. _ ^ * ~r DearSantt: I am writing you what I want for chriattiuis I want a big doll with curly hair and that^tn go to sleep. Soma, toys fire worita and candy. Your little girf Y Edna Creech. My Dear Santa: Will you Kindly remember your little boy. I am *ix years old going to school and like it fine please bring me * pop gnn-8 >me fruit and fir* works now be sure and come to aee me Xmas for I try to be a good little boy Al though I make mistakes tome time. Your little boy ~ Aden* Duncan. My Dear Santa: I am a little only two years old but please come to see me Christmas bring me a little doll and some fruit. Your little girl -\ Gladys Duncan My Dear Santa Clause I am a little boy s»ven years old and in a Jew days more you will coins around to uiait little tellows, go pleas* bring me some fruit 1 bundle'Bf roman cannons some fire crackers and a pop gun that shoots a cork I remain aa ever | x Your little boy Jeukins Wall My Dear Santa Clause Here 1 am again and as it is war times I won’eask for very many things for I know they are very hard to get this year We are going to have a Xmas tr*e Friday night before* Xmas ,eva on Mon day and you can pnt some of them on t.n- tree I won .1 like to have an air rifle and a drum little auto and a whistle tint will blow like a little bird sings Now santa you can come to my house and bring me some fruit of all kind* aud you must look on the rideboard and get something to oatcake or anything you would like to have for I will have Mam ma t) fix it for you, - Now don’t forget my little sister her name is Florence and she would line to have a doll, and I am a little boy six years a*d and I go to school and like my teacher tine. Wed I will close for this time hopihg t> ■ ice you at the Xmas tree. Wilbur Hariey. Dear Uncle Santa * , Im a little boy 8 years old goer to school like my teacher very much 1 have 3 addopted Brothers in Servise for Uncle Sam and Im trying to do my bit I give $1.00 to the Bed Crugs and am wil ling to do morr, if it<* not asking too much of you Please bring me a cornett merry go-round Jigger roist r whist e and some fireworks if you can get them, also a little fruit. I wont a-<fc for any Ihpre as its war times so wi I ring of hop ing dny letter wont find the waste basket .Jul an Walker. Dear ancle If you PleareYwish you would give me some Air ritle shotNsome fire crackers, some rjmau camions and a wagon too if yru eaii I want a wsgdn with shaves rtn it Please Br ng my sisteV^d ll and bring me a falce face, we have a little riaby five months old bring* him some thing too if you can and I want a box>< too's if you can Bring them oh uucle sain is g ing to come to sea u-- this time you won’t come will you uncle santie? you will send them by him won’t you? i will close for this time Olin Rountree. worshipper in the Lutheran church; I confess, Wilhelm, you are a puzzle at time, A Mohometan army coin*r manded by German officers, as sisting one another in massacre- ing Christians in a hew dine of warfare. | *' When a Prussian officer -can witness a nud§ woman -being disemboweled bya swarthyTurk, committing a double murder bv one cuUof his saber; and calmly stand by and see a 1 house full of innocent Armenians locked up, the libuse saturated with oil and fired, then my teachings did n6t stop with vou, but have been ex tended to tne whole Gcrntan Na tion. I confess my Satanic soul grew sick and then and there I knew the pupil had become the master. I am a back number, and, my dear Wilhelm, I abdi cate in your favor. v " \ The great key to~ hell will be turned over to you. The gavel that has^strnck the doomed of damned souls since time began is yours. I am satisfied with what I have done ! that my ab dication in your favor is for the very best interest of hell-r-in the future I am. at your majesty’s service. j_ r ’ Affectionately and sincerely, LUCIFER A, SATAN. ■ . : A- ' ' Dear 8ant% Clause, . - - :.~ How are yon?; fine I hope. Santa I am not asking for much this year, be* caute money is *carcc. 1 am asking you for a bTcycte. Rivd jonie fruTt aim iome fireworUS, and please dont get scar*il when you come to my home I will not be awake • . Good-by Johnnie Ussery. ^ Dear santa clause, I am going to toil you what I want for Christinas, 1 want a watch bracelet and a box of handkerchiefs, you need not bring the any doll IJiave a bratnl new one. bring me some fruit and Are works. I will haye pome pecan* on the table for you. I will close for this time , - Margaret Ussery. * • ' j »• -*' • ^ Dear Sanfa I am a liitla girl five years old. Wont vou please bring me a doll bed and a doil. I want tom candy and fruits. I hope you wont forget me Mildred Thomas. Dear Santa Clause 7 I »m a little hoy ten .years old I go to the seven pines school am in the 3rd grade and I want you to bring me a bicycle to ride to school and a train and track and dear old Santa I have oue lit tle brother six yeara old aud he wants' a tricTcle arul a little automobile dear santa I also have a baby brother jnst eight months old pfease bring TiTnt ¥ rubber ball and a rattle Please bring us lots of fruit nuts and candy and aome fire works. My dady will leave your money at the Best Pharmacy. With lots of love from all three of us I am your little boy ' Rufus Moore Dear Santa Clause Please send me a Bible And fireworks Tor Christmas. Your liflle Boy, + .Ashton Holland. Dear Santa Clause, . I am a little boy 3 years old. Guess you know whnt I want, I want a trickle, that I can ride, a poodle d6g, and all kind of fruits and candies. .~ . Little M C. Diamond. P.S.—Mama said please bring her a silver set. Dear Old Santa. I am writing you a note this cold morning, to tell you what I want. I want a trickle, shoot gun, and every thing that you think would please a little boy five years old Now dont forget my jmgilive bring ber a Box of stationery and box of candy Your little Boy, Barney Diamond Dear Santa Clause: I am a little boy 7 years old aud have a little brother 6 year* old. I am writ ing you this letter to tell yoA what we want vou to bring for Xmas Harry Neal wapts a ball, rocking chair and some fruit and I want a bicycle just big enough tojr a 7 year old boy to ride, i'll laave the front door open so you can bring the bicycle in..And bring mesome fire works too. Hope you are well and enjoying this cold weather I am Your -little boy. Basil Jenkins. Cear Santa as the war is going on I will not ask for much but I do so want a bicycle,'and fireworks that is all Your iictle girl. Louise Creech. \ i Dear Santa I am a little girl seven years old I go school everyday I am in the s cond Xraue. I want you to bring me a tea set aixd a fitHe piano also some candy and fruits too our friend |Lily Mae Thomas Dear Santa It is just about christums so I will write you a ltuter and telryou what I want for christrHas I am nine yeat^o'd and am in the fourth grade.' I watv^ a bicycle for christmaH also a drum wa you bring me some tire works too f - Your IRtle friend '* rry Thomas Columbia, 8. C., Dec. 12tli— You won’t have to figure oiit own income tax all by. yourself hereafter. The govern - ment is going to send out men to Help you. It will be up to you to hunt these men, who will be sent into* every county ’seat town, and some other towns be* sides, to meet the people. . Post masters, bankers and newspa pers will be able to tell' you 'when tne government's income tax man .will be around, and save you a great deal of time, and annoyance. Returns of in come for 1917 must be made be tween January 1 and March I*, 1918, 4 ‘The Government MUST HAVE MORE MEAT Why Back Varda and Farina Mast Raise More , Chickens, Ducka and Oeeae es” Collector of Internal Reve nue D. C, Heyward said today, “that many persons experience a good deal of difficulty in fill ing out income tax forms. It recognizes, too, that tax payers resident appoints, where collec tor’s offices-are not easily acces sible find it hard to get proper instruction ioThd law. Ne^t year, when every married per son living with .wife or husband and having a net income of $2,000, and every unmarried person not the head of a family and having a net income of $1,000 for the year 1917 must nlake return of income on the form prescrilied, there will be hundreds in every community seeking light, on the law, and help in executing their returns. My own and even other collec tion districts in the nation will be divided into districts, with the county as the uuit, and a government officer assigned to each distHct. He will spend hardly less than a week in each county, And in some counties a longer time, very likely in the courthouse at the county seat town. In cities where there are 1 collector's-branch offices, he will be there, and in other cities pos sibly at the city hall. My office will in due time advise post masters and bankers and send out notices ’to the new'spajiers stating when the officer will be in each county. It will be un necessary for prospective tax payer s to ask my office for form on which to make returns. The officer who visits their county will have them. “It may be stated as a mat ter of general information that ‘liet income’ is the remainder after subtracting expenses from gross income. Personal, family or living expense is not expense in tlie meaning of the law, the exemption being allowed to cov er such expenses. “The new exemptions of '$1,000 and $2,000 will add tens ofsDiousandsjta. the number of inching taxpayers in this dis trict, masmuch as. practically every f|trimT v merc}iant, trades man, professfoha^rhan and sal ary worker and aNgreat many wage workers will berequired to make return and pay t Y“The law makes it tlie di -of the taxpayer to seek out the collector. Many people assume that if an income tax form is not sent, xh- a,government officer (Joes not calf, they are relieved from making j-eports. This is decidedly dh eTTor. It is the other way round.\The taxpay- recogniz- I tnhik I wi Dear Old Santa as dnistmas is so near I tnlo.k I will write‘to vou and k*H you whatT want you to bring me Xmas night. 1 want a bicycle and a knife. I want some If re wprks fruit and candy too Your friend ’ • - ‘ ' ‘ Y _ VV\ H. Thomas - Dear Santa _ } Flease send me some sparklers and a doll uabv and*«ine good tnojth Paste and a machine to make my doll clothes. Also Remember my little_Baby Brother uqd I am writing you a few lines to JeA imtr Evelyn Roupdtiee Dear Santa you know what I want fer Christina*. Will you please bring me a «torV book, pair of vaces, Fruits, candies and all kinds of nuts, good bye. Your little girl, t Zeltna Diamond P. S.—Don’t forget my pepa. bring him a Box of Cigimr - Please allow us space in your columns to extend to Those in this and other commvnities in ^Barnwell County, who respon ded so quickly and sympathe tically to us during the sad and awful destruction of Mr,. Noli and family, on the morning of the 7th inst., our deepest grat itude and sincere thanks. * Mr, and Mrsr A, L. Lowman. s er has to go to the governmen and if he doesn’t within th^ time prescribed, he is a violator of tlie law, and the goverment will go to him with its penal ties.” \ tke wftf the- meat ~ reserves of tlie country are di minished. The herds of live stock in Europe have been re duced by slaughter made neces sary in order to feed the armies. Our own meat production in the . years just. proceeding the war was barely sufficient .for our own uses. And yet we are now called upon not only to feed our selves, but to feed Europe to a large exteht. And we must do it if we wiu the war. - ; Where will we get the meat? You can do j’our part on. your farm and in your, back yard by producing more poultry—in creasing the supply of eggs and chickens, geese and ducks. Our total number of beef animals cannot be increased with suffi cient quickness. Several years are required-tpdmild tip cattle herds. Hogs can be increased considerably in a year. They Can be increased faster than any other meat animal. But poultry can be doubled in a year. It offers the fastest and cheapest possible source of meat increase. That is why it i$ so important that everyone help’in the poultry production next year. The more poultry find eggs we produce the more poultry and eggs we will eat. The ' more of that food we eat the less beef and pork we will need or wdnt—leaving that much to go to Europe. Thus we do in directly the thing we can’t do directly. By poultry production we get quickly more meat to to win the war, although we cannot increase in that time the number of bur meat animals. Get some good hens. You will help^win the war.' You will reduce your own cost of living; You will turn waste in to food. Get some good hens. The • Pension- ’ Commissioner will be in Barnwelf every Satur day during January. AU parties concerned and those wishing to make application jvill meet him in Barnwell every Saturday dur ing the month of January 1918. L. F, HAIR, Commissioned. Dec. 3rd, 1917. ? HOME. BANK MAKES FINE SHOW r V i ■■ m. Annual stockholders meeting of the Home Bank of Barnwell was held Tuesday at their di rectors meeting, apd the report from the officers showed that" the bank had had a very pros perous year. A dividend <^>f eight percent was declared and ordered paid immediately, and one thousand dollars was placed in the sur plus account, this makes since the organization of the bank ov er twelve thousand dollars that has been paid to the stockhold ers and five thousand placed to tholsurplus account. The following directors were elected to serve for 1918t L. M. Calhoun, J. O. San ders, T. S. Cave, S. B. Mose ley, J. B. Calhoun, J. Cohen, Harry D. Calhoun and J. HL Hewlett. The directors then elected the following _ officers : Harry D. CaHioun, Pres,, Norman B* N Gamble, Cashier, and William McNab, Asst.-Cashier. 1 The deposits of the Home Bank ljave increased fifty per cent'from last year, and as a whole the bank is in a very prosperous condition. - 1 * ; , * . 1 • . ' Y NEWS QOLUMN TO OUR CORRE SPONDENTS- Upon the eve of the appfpachr*. ing Christmas time we beg to offer to you our best wishes for iour happiness and prosperity that the coming year may added joys and successes. W& earnestly solicit the con tinuance qf your weekly letters and hope that you will be in-> spired with new zeal to furnish the paper with the news from your sections, that our reader! may be advised oJYtlie progress of their neighbors aud friends. —- r j r: •V(I t “t* C" — . - * • % J— .*