Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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vlqv !. 10 &B Ar ' tr.iY.:' TWO DOLLARS PER ANNUM. )? GOD AND OUrR COUNTRY A L YV ? YS* IN" '-'AD V?NC Ek -}- ? VOLUME 8. SATURDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 24, 1874. NUMBER 38 [From tlio Darlington Southerner.] TRACING A SLANDER. .?#*?> tl--. 1 ? .'j i'es% hii^s k. li; ciiEEsnonouriit. ?I thought it my duty to come and tell you ' 'I think, Miss Bond, that your ideas nf\duty ore somewhat perverted. K.x eusc ttic for say inn s11 ? I have nhticed that you only feel it yrrnr duty ti tell people of unpleasant things you hear about them, but yon never repeat nny. tiling pleasant. If it is your duty to repeat iho unpleasant, it must also be your duty to jrepent tlid pleasant.' 'Oh, I nm sure that I meant it fur your pood. T think that you onjibl to lo much obliged to nie,' and Miss Bond's sharp face colored violently. 'I 9m not. obliged to you, Mis* Hond, nny more (ban I would lie obliged tu some one for throwing mud in my face to knock off? speck resting there. 11 ith cn.?es might be the result of a mistaken senso'of duty; but they would certainly cull.for no gratitude on my part-' 'Well, I think it my duty to toll people when I bear others spc iking against then!.' ?t.'*And I think it my duty not to tell ?people .disa?rteable things L bear about ihc.ni, unless it is to result in frond. I have never found that kind-hearted people take ?p'?n themselves tho duty you have?tho duty- to -round ami wowy; I have always loun I ?ii it su di people are at bean uiilieii'is. gts?ipi.i spiteful, and, in tho long run. u iti* liji ful. Moreover, there is geuurillyso.nu envious or jealous feeling tiiuh disolb turcs. There is a sign to p.ej i luo an I so separate acquaint mo!.-?.' Miss Klwcll ppake sharply, fir she thought it time to give Mhh lion I a lesson. Under the false clonk of friend ship, Mi.-s Bond had been stabbing I nig enough. She was sailing' about in a piratical craft, from the head of which hhe bud thrown out a flag, emblazon cJ with thn word 'Duty.' ?'If that's the way you fake my ki i I iiess, I am sorry that I ever ca-ue near you,', and MU? Bond as.-utned an injur ed air. ?I'i.idncRs!' cxvliimed Mas ElWell, 'really, Miss Bond, your eoucepti ?u ? of kindness and duty are (no.*t rem irk iblc J.ct us cxjuuil'iu into this great ait of kindness that you have dune me. You come here and teil me vile sin ml ir w hich you say was told to you about me ?the horrible story being t'i it [ get intoxicated privately. This thing, yo i s?y is whispered about tlu vi Ii;.; Now., whore is the kindness iu telling lue this? If 1 do ibis d.-ed privately, I ?Iii it without witnesses; bow cm 1 prove publicly that I do (tot drink privately, unless people are willing to tak.j my word1 for it. I could give thu.H no positive proof; I could only say 1 do uot. Now, what good can cume of toll ? iug me this slander ?' . 'Why, 3'ou ought to know it.' 'I do not.see why; it do^s tub no go id to.kuow that people are sla ide'ring in.'.' 'Well, 1 am soiry that I told you.' ?I nm sorry that you did.' 'Of course I told it to you as a pro found secret. On no account, now mind, breathe it. Mrs. Stark would bis furious if she knew I bid told you. It I was you 1 would not visit her, or have anything to do with bur; she is a diii gerous woman, and you bad better keep clear of'her. I thought it my duty to ttll you the report an I warn yoa of Mrs. Stark ' 'Ami who will warn tue against you? Y.oU-. aro as dangerous as Mia. Stark. The person who disseminatus a slander is as bad, even worse, than the one who creates, it; for if there was uu one to BpVqud it'i'd would die with the origin t tor. You have, doubtless, toid this elnudcr to nil of your friuu Is. who, in turn, tell it to theirs. Women like yuu, Jiliss Bond, are the curse of societ y. I ?annot find words strong enough to say from niy soul how I despise an J abtior thorn. How much more Christian it would Utfin y?u to lock up in the chjsi A?f silence the slanders, and rumors, and Lara sayinga that you bear about your ?follow creatures. Under that smiling snask o+'friendship, so rosy, so ngrcja jle, you hide the scowling face, the inalig mint jeer of a demon, an enemy. You a?i>fW ?uvoke the god of friendship bj fott? you stub; and immolate your victim oft tho alter of duty. But those high e?hridinjj names, musical as they arc, will no! hush the discord of your real ittteiitiontf. All tho martial music of th?'; battle-field doca not closo our cars lo'll;th;o' groi-us of the dying and tho rOu-iokfi of tho wounded. 1 now tear the fliuiBy, but brightly spangled dress. frpBre'ycrUr1 protections, and show t torn . nS) tttey really are, uot iriondly, but jnnjicious, not kindly, but ?nurdcruus, What you tall friendship, 1 cull malice; what you call duty, 1 cull enmity. I jiovor tukc tho troublo to truco a MhtXKTef*^ to its source; but, in this iusiiujoc, I intend to do so. **You got it ^m,.M^ Stark, therefore, to Mrs. Statk I iutend to go.' 'Oh, dcur no!' cxclaiuiod Miss Bond in alarm. ?S?ch is my fiked intention. Every blander struck uu the head, i:; some thing done in the cause of truth. Now, ifr* possible, I mil going to strike this slander oil tho head; so tho slanderers had bettor get their ambulance ruad/, I have an engagement at twelve o'clock; it is now that hour. (Jooil morning ! Miss Bond. Before We putt let me tell you an anecdote. Some theological students who had been sbiudored, wont to their teacher, who was a clergyman, aud repented tho aland ts about tliciit selves. 'I knew all this before.' Iiu said. 'Why then.' ?all ono,'did you not inform us V 'Because,' was t!?e r: ply, 'I prefer that the devil sh >oi 1 carry his own mail and botr its ex penses" Please remember, Miss IJond, that when you go about disseminating slander, you are carrying the devil's mail ' Absolutely thunderstruck at s-eli plain language, Miss Bond could make no replyj but got up, pulled her veil over her theo, au 1 make a speudy oxit frqui Miss HIwoil's house. When Miss Elwell h id got through her cnnagcino'nf, sh s r'piirol to the house of Mrs. St irk. The la ly s.it .s tw - inj? in her dining room. 'I am so glad to see you. my dear chil 1/ she sail, -1 w is fooling si I ill; I wanted som s out) talk ti llivj you heard tho list pie.o j of no v ; ?' '1 have,' replied Miss Klwdl gravely; 'I niidor.sinn 1 thitym siy f ant in the habit iif getting priv.it el f into ci j t.o I .' '.Mercy!' ejaculated Mrs. Sta.'k . Why. my daar chill. I Wit in* t'li u iug of such a thin r. I only wi ite I 1.1 know if you hu I hoird tint it it sii! that old Mr. Diwsoi is thinking of marrying Miss 3 mior"*.' ?I was thinking of it, Mrs. S:.ark, an,I that is why [ a.u hero I roaoivol an early visit fro n Miss 11 in I, evil: mly paid I'm- 11) : ospr.jss purp is ? if it' ll iiig me that yo t brought tliis dis^r.to : I'ul alloguti hi against tu i. As I It iv o nothing ospeeitlly to ? I? t > day, I in ten I to trace this slaud u* t'? its so o.'oo, und L be.'in with you. Miss 11 >:i I old incj you t ild Mist 11 juI; uv.v w'utdl you V Slanderers are general!y onvarls, au 1 when fearlessly attacked, sold i n s'. t ud up bravely t.i t'ieir w.irds. .-Irs. 3.irk gro.ir ji ile an I a he tri; 1 t > ;/?l> eh?J matter. 'Ohj thai Mitt Bon I. sh r* a t irriWti inischiet* in iker ! Wait d:.l y ?i t'.iin* lit' Mr Weil's si;' ii in I ist .S i i i iJ '. i hear i hat h ! is ?' ?1'Ieis: return t> tin <'r?j ?et, Mrs .'War!;.' i t ivu re I .Sli'.'i id v ill. 'W i > i i or hi ? 1 you lIi it I y; i; i \i > c' : i : I yrivatoly V 1 eil, Mhs M ??> i :y in ? i i iii cd diu Ii id he u l it; li it sh i tot I it tin ? i.i ?:? >;lii loueo. ?ii I I I 'Id it to a.i s Uli id in conti Iciicc, and s'lO to ik ail Oitll tilt'. .?In: wool 1 not breath it; au I to ihiti!: of h :r lellin yon.' ?S.auderors, Mrs. St irk. hiva v :ry little re'ird lor their oath t Li'yai could not kep .vh it yo i h nr 1 in io-i li Ione:\ w!iy shoul I you supp is.) to it .Mi.ss lion I could, even though slu did swear by a'l h sr go Is o ?t. to rev :ii t!i : e linmuuiu.itioi. Njk 1 an g>iigti M iss Mooney.' ?Oh! miss Kl ?voll, pray don't! mIsi Mooney in id.; mo pro.nisj u >t to toll; she will be exceedingly angry.' 'I don't caro if >li ! is,' replied Miss '??'dwell; 'when I am tracing up a stand r I do not take th >so tilings into eon.si lor at ion 'Hut hho'll como here and attack mo.' Well, I su,?p ??o t!i it y-t i ui.i d j.'o.i l yoursolf.' She'll think'that I am not to hj trusted.' 'And she'll think right. (.J i > 1 morn iug !' Miss ooney was busy with hor * i ioks,' as she ci'le 1 t'lo n, iv'i in Mt.?s Klwell was ushered ihti her pirlor. 'My child,' slrj said, putt iug ott one linger ?o her, 'I an he id over ein in work. This is tho I ist of the til) nth an I I have beeil ougigo 1 ill n ir iin g in looking over in/ biiks. I li;r.l that I have eolloutod ono dollar in irj t his mon tli lor the orphans of Joruiiil jni thm 1 did last mouth; but 1 have uoltuutud two dollars loss lor tiu po"?r o d wid t ws of the soldiers of ip ?lojii th i first, than I diil last linntli. ? This is very discouraging. But thou, I have eolluit ed more oti all my othor charities this month than 1 did the last. 1) > y.>u know, but please don't breathe it, I would not injure the worn m for the world, L am certain that Mrs. .S i) vor dresses hor girl in the cloUiiug slid col* lucts lor the poor. 1 sjtit liar a '> in llo to distribute in lur ward, and L a n oar tain that I saw hor daughter Myra with one of tho dross :.-> on. .N' j.v, da i't y>ia breath it; but 1 hoar that the Liu v. Mr Tompkius drinksall thawiua at his ti blc i hut is scut hint for the sick paor. 1 tell you this in strict, uouti leueo.' 'To how many peoplo did yo i toll it iu strict confidence, Miss Mojuy, tli it I got privately intoxicated /' uxkod Midi Ifilwoll. Miss Afbonoy ra'sad both of lur fat hands, and exclaimed : 'i novcr said any such tili ig ! I do uy it positively V 'Thcu you accuse Mrs. Stark of false hood; she says that yuu told it ta her iu coulideuce, she told it ta misj Uoa I ? tili?] Miss Bond thought it her'duty' to lull it to me.' 'I have a faint remembrance of ?"Mine. thing being said by .Mrs. Pulton about it; I really don't remember, my thoughts are so taken up with my charities and church matters.' ?Then I'll speak to Mrs. Pnlto'i.' 'Mercy, no, don't! What is the use ?' 'In truuing up this slander it is.neues sary thtt. I should see all parties. Good morning! Miss Mooucy, I'll leave you to thi contemplation of your many charities,' and Miss Klwell bowed au I departed. ?Oh, horrid !' sighed Miss Mooucy: ?Mrs. Pulton will be coming here and making a frightful Ius-j, lor she toll mo in confidence.' .Mrs. Pulton was at homo, she was glad to see Miss Klwell. 1 am here simply t? ask you, Mrs. Palto i, said Miss Klwell, 'who you got your inlormalion Iro n, that I get inlox ie t:d privately.' Mis Pulton was dumb. '1 hope that you did n it origins to so dreadi'uI a report, Mrs. Pulton, so vile a slander.' ?To tell you the ttnth, Miss HI we 11, I heard it from my hu.sbau 1 1' ' Vour husband !' He told no iu coufi luiioe that you bought the li.jm-.?- in his store. Hut pluiso don't me itio i it to him; he told in : iu coilli leu ! : au I I tol I Miss M ion * uy in confidence,' 'Ah! then I must sec your husband.' ?l'r.y don't. Miss Klwell; lu'SI bj vu ry angry with in :; please d m't !' Kxpostul.iti in was vain: it > v th itshu h id got. thus far. she wis inl g >i i? t.i turnb.iek. To the stire of Mr. Paltou Mi.-s K'well pro?jo led. She found In in a'.o ie. '.Mr. P.ilt m,' she said, was coining to the point at one.:, "it is possible that you ori_t.in"e.l a report that I g.'t inlox icated privately V Mr. Paltou looked sh icked. ?My dear lady, 1 u svor setabout sueh a report; I have never luirl suj'.i a tor rible slander.' ?.Miss 1? n 1 told it to me, an 1 she heard iL I'riai Mrs. "Stark, an 1 Mrs Stark h aid it from Mts> Moiiiey aid .Miss Momoy hoo'd it Irani Mrs. Paltou and Mrs. Paltou s lys that .she heard it fro il you.' 'Ni t mi: think, whit have I ever s.iid to leid to such a slau lor I renumber this little circumstance. I mentioned to my ui!c that you had been in the store and purchased a bottle of ru.n. She wondered ?hat you wanted with ru ii. I laughingly said, 'to tlrint of eour.-o ' She repli id th it -if you drank it must be done very privately. 1 re plied, -ye.- very ptivately.' 'Now. s-co 'what a great matter a lit tie fire kindle; h;' :tud this, was all.' ?No. 1 laughingly said to my wife, :l tell you in ?'riet conti.lo;e.:. ?Yes. she sai l that you toll her in couiidenee. and she had told Miss Moon ey in uAuU !en*:e, in fact every lady told it iu couiidenee.' ?Secrets arc generally told in eon'i den?.', you know. Let us walk up to the hoU<e utid sco my wile about this matter.' Together they walke.l to the house; Mrs. Paltou had gnu.:, the servant said to t-oa Miss Mooucy. They proceeded t<> Miss lyiooney's that lady had gone to Mrs. Stack's. Mrs. Stark s house was visited, but she had gone to Mis Ponds There the lour ladies were found in Miss lion I s parlor disputing in a tu ist frightful in innei\ and each aoousing the uther o! a viol itio'i of eonliJeujo They grew suddenly silent when Mr. Pi! to i ami his eimpuuiou appeared, althmgh their red faoes an 1 agitated manner showed the liurce wordy battle tin/ hid been iu Then M(. Paltou explaiuei how the slander bad originated, and the ladies bung their hea Is in evident shame. 'We certainly owe /l/isa Kl well an ample apology,' he concluded, ?nil 1 1 lor one must humble beg her par ihm. I ncviI* dreamed that my little joke would be turned into so serious a matter as this.' ?We are all very sorry.' e :h ie 1 th ; ladi s, smoothing their rulH ? I lo>ks. '1 accept your up dogioi' replied .1/; ss 1.1.Veil, and UJW let me uiakj i little speech. The ruin I purshasu 1 was lb." the purp is: of miking so.hj bi.tvs f*r old Mis. liiair, who is too poor to par chase (ho tonic she needs. Th is has my good deeds been the occasion of much evil speaking, iu this matter two things strike me forcible, one of which is, that it is not sate to entrust secrets, evwu iu couiidenee, to Wouion; another, that we are very s\\ ilt to believe tlie ill we hear of each other mid H ill swilter to disseminata it. 1 hope that to days lesson, ladies will be of .some service lo you. 1 have killed this slan der, but if L had not, this slander inigll. have killed me. tiood morning l' An Irishman foun 1 a government blanket, recently, and rolling it up put it under his arm and walked oil', saying: "Vis, that's moid?U lor Patrick, and S for McOurty; be my suwt, but this loarniu's a loin tdiing, asm: lather would say; for if I hadn't any cdioation I wouldn't have been ufthcr iiudiu me blanket." Tho Nominations for tho State Hoard ol' Equalization. The paramount issue of good govern ment before the people has more parti cular refcrcneo to tho property of the citizen. The burden tlie government falls Upon the property and the amount ol* taxation advulorcm, the disposition (if the tax after collection, and, above nil. the regulation of the rate of assess ment, are tho great questions with which the republican party has to d al in the redemption of this State The legisla ture levies the rate of taxation on a certain basis of assessment. The assess ment is fixed in this way; the tax payer make his return to the county auditor; the nuditor accepts or increases the re tum. If nn increase is made, then*tho tax payer appeals to the o unity board of equalization, and if (hat board decide against him, then he has fifteen days; to in?ko good his return, and then lie curries his case before the .State board of cijualzutiou, which makes the final decree As at present constituted the county board is uppiiited by the judge of the circuit, and his Honor T. .J .l/ickey, I has, we believe, the credit of 0 rigijiatiiig this change in the lav. But it i. clear that the 'court of last resort' in this matter is the Slate board of equalization under tho recent statute and hold office for four years. The State convention failed to m ike the nominations, aud tho St.ito executive i committee have nominated the follow ing gentlemen, who, if eleetod, with tha guvotfiior. State treasurer an I orotnptro! lor General, will compose the board. The committee will place upon the rogu iar State ticket the following names : '.'or the li^st district?B. I). Town sand I Darlington. For t'.ie second district ? W B Smith Charleston. l'or the third district- W 1) Mars. Abbeville. For the fourth district?C W Melton Chester For the fifth district?S J I.ec, Ai koti;; If this ticket is elected, and it most ccri!?^^vwill be, then there will be four ^'''JsJJ^^^s, representing tho t.ix pay iiig cipzons ol tho oppi^utotr. These gentlemen of the conservative prrty will thus control the assessment ?if property nil over the State. Tho tax unions would bo dit/'un -tea ojfico, with their turbulent occupation, gone. The iic.mi 'ation, therefore, of theaa d: n > erat<e gentlemen is an uvideiico of eou fid once by thorct-tilar republic mi orgiui zation, and an evi leuee, under tho l'ro.vu ingshadow of the tax uuian orgar.izi 1 ion, not often witnessed in political affairs. Wos-iy this baeuuo, althoi^li I lie republicans of tli ? St it s ar s gr i In il ly acquiring property and becoming tax pavers, still the large bo ly of t ie tax payers arc of the opposition, and in re turning their'property can t!io basis of assessment upon tliatr o.v.i v.il nation. What, may be regarded as a valuat ion is fixed by the constitutional and st.it ute law. Section SJG ,of article 1 says; ?All property subject to taxation shall be taxed iu proportion toil* volar: Section 1 of article i) says th it '-the general assembly shall provide by 1 iw for a uniform and equal rate of assess incut an 1 tax.iti in, and shtll prescribe such regul itions as shall secure a just valuation (or taxation. What. then, is to be regarded as the /it t valuation of properly ? We are not I :i't in the dark as to what the law re gaids as a just valuation of property During the last session of the legisln turn an assessment act w is pass od con solidatliig till other acts relating to that subject, and in section ?1) says that the true v.ilue of any property '.shall bo h ?! I to be the usual soiling price of si mil ir property at the place where the rotor.i is to be made, and if there ba no usuil selling price, then as what is honestly believed c mid b.' obtained for the sum : at n fair sale at tho place aforesaid Secti u til of this act provides that none but 'int'elliga it tax paying citizens shall be put noon the board. Now all that the taxpayer \< expected to do iu n liking lti= return to the and lor tin lor oath is to assess his property at what he h o licet ly believe* to bo its 'innl selling price at a fair sale.' If the auditor dis agrees with him, then [the final appeal lies to the Stale board; and for that board tho regular republican party hive nominated lour conservatives on- ol tii: live to bo elected. In tho midst of an exc.ted campaign, when j ihe opposition j is doing his bosL to draw the lines as close ;<s possible, this is liberal, wise an 1 generous. '1 he judges of the diiferout circuits have invariably appoiiite I loading c in sci'Vativu tax payers up m the county bonds of equalization, and now, with the election of the leading conservative tax payers nominated by the republican executive committee, it may bo truth fully bo siid that iu ragir l to the as s^suiiu.it of property, the whole matter is iu I he hand of tho conservatives'. The bolters ue oll'uriug nothing, tin 1 iu view ol their certain defeat, what they ini^ht. oiler amounts to nothing; whereas in this vital matter of the its sosstucut of property, the regular orgnui zation offers tho right hniid of fellowship to tho opposition. 1 his is I ccrtiiiuly an earnest of the pledge that tlit; election of Chamberlain und Cleaves means reform and good gov eminent.? Union UcraUl. An Educated lSenr. The /Cju'scopal Itvt/ixter has a letter from Centre Harbor, N. II., iu which the writer tells the following : (>nc amusing story of this region, and I will have done. Sonic years ago a young hear was caught by a BtOttE lad m ar the borders of Lake Winuipesau kee, and carried into the neighboring village, where he was tamed, and grew to be. the play-IeHew of the school-boys. Alter some months spent in civilized society, ho suddenly disappeared in tho woods, and after several years he was forgotten. Uno winter's day, while a new school iiii-tress was teaching, tho small boys and girls how to spell and knit, an cnor n o is bear walked into the school bou-e and took a seat by the lire in the nio.-t familiar manner. Doth teacher and children fled to the farthest corner of Hie room, each striving to escape the the horror of being eaten first. Mcaiiwhilu the bear sat snuffing, an 1 warming himself by the fire, showing signs of genuine satisfaction, and de ferring his meal Until he had thorough ly varmel himself. The children screamed but without embarrassing bruin. Standing upon his hind legs he began to take down, ono by]otie, the h .ts, bonnets and satchels that hung on the pegs by the wall. His ino niory 'did not fail him, for the satchels contained, as of old, the children's ditin jr, an 1 Iu hau arrived before roccss. Having ma le a comfortable meal he went, to the mistress' desk, hut. found, it locked. (Jiving a shako ol resignation, he passed tut by the door and disap pea red. The village was then alarmed and the bear pursue 1 aud shot, much to the reg et of the pe (pie when they dis eovered by soaie marks up ju his ho ly that ho was their old friend and play fellow. Tito Sulphuric*" !Aei?WJTJuT?~* ~ fur Diphthurin. The ITamllton Spjc' ator. (South Australia.') publishes the details of the ?' real'; :d c .re for diphtliori-. The dhcase is declared by *!/r. Groatheal to be of hydatid growth, and that the perms of it floating about in certain im pure at mosphercs were inhale 1 by hu man beings. For a gro wn person, four drops of sulphuric acid dilute 1 in three tju li ters of a tumbler of water, with a ? mailer do.vc for children. The cfl'uet. ol' this treatment was s.ti I to bo ins tan tanctus; the ncid tit ones destroying the j artisitcs and (be patient, coughiug up the obstruct ion. The papers have teem ? I with accounts of MiTeiers who bad recovered in a few minutes by adopting the 'Greathcad' treatment. Children,nluiO't previouiiy in a dying stale, wore declared to he playing al most within ten minutes; and at a und era to computation some forty or fifty of there sudden recoveries have been placed on lecord with full particulars. Hillen by siltuUlcsiuikc The I lorry No ws says that a colored lad who leads about his blind father, wuilc on Iiis way from here from ho in was bitten on the loot by a rattlesnake, The so ike was uetr three feet lo.ig, It was killed*by .1 im Perking, who after killing the snake, corded the boy's leg tightly. The boy then walke 1 on; mile, to 'he resilience of Mr. Isaac 0 Lou.'. When he got there his foot was badly swo dien*. Mr. Long gave, him about a gill of whi-key with live grains of Dover's powders and applied to the bite a poultice of fresh beat onions. 'fins wa? all that was done, and the boy was out and about the next, day as usual; no coupluint, only a little sore. Coming Muck. Our exposures of tho spirit an 1 de. sign of Judge Green and bis democra tic allies ate opening tho eyes of all tho honest republic ins who have been led astray. S. 11. Myers made an excellent, speech nt KdgeQeld on Thursday, in which he repudiated any further en ucctioii with t'oat fraululent attempt upon the lives and liberties of the re publicans. Lie found it run in the in terests of democratic money, end only a white league ku klux possum. - ..in M?.. - ? -en ?. '?Three (rays aud an nee !" said one of the ohlest inhabitants, m be I steppetl up to the stamp window at the post office, and laid down u tunceut piece of currency. Tho clerk at the window ??didn't sco it" until be had looked over his copy of ''lloyle." Then he dealt out time cent and a one cent stump, The oldest inhabitant passed silently out A Cnroful Girl. - _ ? . itiviVt ' A blooming country damsel, dressed in this height of fashion, came tripping along in eompnny with her heau* andy. while crossing a street, turnod suddenly,: around to look at a passing objpet, just as the tip of her shoo rcstod on the curb Btono of the gutter. As she threw ih i weight of "her body on the insufficient foothold, her toe slipped, and plu n-> into the dirt wont her.little foot, aol plashing over her stockings and gar-1 ments went tho mud. Her gallant ?> Bpcedil v helped her on to tho sidewalk, Where she presented a pitiable appear ance, and then endeavored to free her from her gudd?n acquisition of soil with his handkerchief. 'It's no use, Charley,' sobbed tho, rural beauty, 'it won't come clean; and, ?and?my st sto stockings arc ruined.^' 'Never mind the stockings,'consoling ly responded her swain; 'I can buy yoa I a r w pair.' 'Buy me a new pair; whero would I put them on ?' 'Why, we ran go to a hotel for that matter,' replied Charley. 'Never!' almost screamed tho girl;; : I'd sooner jump into the river than g> to a hotel with a mm that I'm not mir? riod to' i?< Charley seemed conscionoe stricken as the enormity of his proposition flash ed upon his mind, and when last we saw the pair they were in quest of a clean pair of h? po and a proper place tO' put them on.? Cincinnati Enquirer. ..t . Judor Bryan's Order.?Wc know of no law which prevents any citizen, whatever may ho his official position, from making himself ridiculous in the estimation of intelligent pcopb. ? ? f Wc 'suppose that the U uitel St 'tea r district judge for the district of South. Carolina was awaro of this fact whence issued the remarkable order to the "commissioners of election" which ap. pea red in the News and Courier of thin morning. Cau tho learnol judge inform u* by what authority ho issued an order, aud ; by w 1 at legal process ho pro o os o tforctt ?I? Jsait-lh + i Ahr? commissioners of election will designate the polling precinetsin each county la ? time for every citizen to know where b>i; can vote, we see no rcasou why tiny should pay any attention to tho order issued by the United States district judge Their duties are defined by law.? Charleston Chronicle. A Kansas Advertisement.?The' following, clipped from tho AtohUoa Chamjrion, shows what kind of women they have in Kansas: Lost, strayed or stolen : An individu al whom I, in an urgoat moment of h'lcliucss, was thoughtless enough ti* adopt as my husband. Ho is a good looking and feeble individual, not know? iug enough, however, to cotno in when . it rains unless some good-loaking girl offers him the shelter of her umbrella. Answers to the name of Jim. Was last ' sacn in company with Jujie, ll.arrto, walking with his arm around her w*jst. looking more like a fool,' ir possible,' than ever. Anybody who .will catca 1 the poor follow and bring him carefully ? back so that I can chastise him fprrun-;, uing tiwav, will bo iuvitod tostavio. tot by Kate B. fsrMiTir. ' ? ' * * * * *? A Li udon girl, who advertise 1 re? ccutly for a husband, requested her host of correspondents to be present in the pit ;;t the Dairy Lano Threatro, oa th-i-, following evening, dressed in a blue . coit, whito pantaloons, aud scarlet coat and immediately on tho conclusion of* the first act to stand upon tho benches, nourish a white handkercief in one hand, ' and apply ? jilass to the right cyo with' the bther. When tho curtain fall, fifty men; from giddy youth to giddier old' ' age, stood up iu thu prescribed uniform, ' and 1 cgan tho eye glass and handker? a chief perlt rtn nice, "amid convulsions of laughter from a largo portion of the spectators, who wcro in thosoorot, H ow It Is.?A patron of a certain newspaper once said to tho publisher : j -Mr. Lrintor, how is it you havo never called on mo for pay for your paporr"' 'Oh," said tho miiti of. typ s, "we neve? a.-k a gentleman for money." "Indeed," i I replied the patron, "how do you manage ti got along when they don't pay V* ?Why," said tho editor, "after a certain ' time wc conclude that he is not a gentle man, and we ask him.". "Oh?ah?yej ? I seo; Mr. Editor, plcaso give me a r coipt," and hands him a V. ^Maliii"' my name till right on your books." A wedding was celebrated in the Gor man Catholic church at Clovoland, Ohio, the other day, nud all app irontly went merry until the bridal purty reaehe I tho door of the church, when all at once tho bride took to her heels and started off duun street with bridal voil, ornogoblos soms and whito drapery generally ilnp. ping in the morning wind. Tho groom was .'-truck dumb at this unexpected denouement, and stood gazing after hU uugracious partner.