The Orangeburg news. (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, September 26, 1874, Image 1
Maist?ni? Day."
[Tl>o following Hues were composed
by Timothy Swan, the well known au
thor dl the old tunes. 'China' and 'Pp
land,' when in the seventy-thirtl year
of his age.. They woro soul to his sou,
thcu a resident of New York ]
'Yo ken, dear bairn, that wo maun part:
When death, cnuld death, shall shall bid'
us start;
r>ut when he'll send his dreadful dart
We catiita say.
So we'll be ready for his cart
Ma ist onic day.
"We'll keep a' rigjtt an' glide wi'iti,
Our v ark will then be free ria sin,
Upright we'll step thro' thick and thin.
Straight ">n our way:
? Deal just wi'a', the prize we'll win
Mnist onic day.
"Ye ken there's Anc wha'sjuet and wise.
Has said that a" bis bairns sho'tl 1 rise
Aii'soar nboon the lofty, skies,
And there shall slay;
Being well prepared we'll gain the prize |
M:iist onic dnv.
i
1
t'When He wha made a' thing just right.
Shall ca' us bonce to realms of light,
Be it morn, or noon, er e'en, or night,
We will obey.
We'll be prepared to ta1 our flight
Maisl onic day.
"Our lnmps we'll fill brimfu* o' oil,
Thai's glide and pure?that wu'na spoil;
j .We'll keep them burnin' a' th? while,
To light bur way.
[ Our wark bein' done we'll rpiit the soil
IWnist onic day.
Ftirm, (iartlt!ii and Household.
A Substitute for Paris Green.
Tlie Cultivator has remarks which,
having regard to the terrible results
Riipposcd to have attended the use of
Paris green as a lothdl ag-nt, are perti
nent. It says :
No insect which crawls e in live under
tho application of hot alu n water. it.
will destroy red ami bl ick ant.", nook
roaches, spiders, chintz bugs, and all
the crawling posts which infest our
'houses, lake two pounds of alum hud
.dissolve it in three or four qitaits of
liOiliug water; lot it stand on the fire
until tho n'tum U all mel'ejj; then apply
it with a brush while nearly boiling
bo to every joint and crevice in your
close's, bedsteads, pantry shelves, had
tho like. Brush the crevices in the
floor of the skirting or mop boards, if
you suspect, that they harbor ycrmin
If, in whitewashing a eeiliog. pie tit, v of
alum is added to the lime, it will also
sine to keep insects at a distance
Cockroaches will flee the put tit which
has been washed in cool alum water.
Sugar barrels and boxes can b^ lived
from ants by drawing a widechaik
mark just round the edge-of tho top of
them. The mark must bo unbroken or
they will creep over it; but a contiu? >us
chalk mark halfttti inch in width will
set their depredations at naught.
Powdered alum or borax will keep,the
chintz-bug at a respectful distance, and
travelers always carry a bundle of it in
their hand bugs to scatter over and
under their pillows in hotels, etc
While Playing at :i hotel once with a
party most of whom complained sadly
of the nightly attacks of these disgust
ing insects, I was able to keep them en
tirely at bay by its use, and I distribu
ted tho contents of my bun lie among
tho party, to their great relief.
CUpUMBERR FOR pickles.
First .get a good kind of cucumber,
then proceed as follows.: lie careful in
picking not to bruise them; wash them
clean; pack them in stone jars, as they
are Jar the best, with ono quart of silt,
to every . peck of pickles and ono and a
'half gallons of water to every five gallons
of pickles; also a lump ol alum as largo
?as a hep's egg to every five gallons of
pickles'. When your jar is full put a
clean flannel cloth over the:n, with tt
weight heavy enough to keep them
undor the brine, and keep the cloth
clean and frco from mold. Now, in
soaking them for use, the quicker it is
douo tho better your pickles will b : .
"When frcf honing keep pleu'y of fresh
water on them.
Now scald in a brass or copper k?ttle, j
using weak viuegar for the purp'->so, and
about enough to cover your pickles,
adding a lump of a mil us large as a
quail's egg to every gallon of pick los.
Scald slowly until they get scalding b it,
but du not lot i limn boil; Ukp them out
and lay thctn in a stone jar, us in g
cinnamon or cloves, to suit the taste.
Spread one largo cofl'ee cup of sugar to
ono gallon of pickles over them; theu
pour vinegar (not too strong) also over
them. This vinegar will do for use
again. If made in this way they will
keep for months and bo as plump and
sweet as tho day they were put up.
Your vinegar should not ho to*, sttoug,
as that would mako them sour aud
destroy the taste of tho sugar.
GARE of sheep.
"Flock MtiBtcr," oI'Lancnster County,
Peun., writes tho Gerinantown Tele
graph ns Jollows: "I send you the fob
blowing scaBonablo hints in rogard to
tho c?rc of sheep: During the wint or
and curly spring sheep aro often affected
With coids; these, if neglected, (Vc|uent
ly bccouio so deeply seated as to he
incurable,"'and cud in phthisic or con
sumption. Tho best remedy for a cold
is, first, place your sheep in 11 well
vontilnted, dry stable, comfortably
littered; and second, give it any slightly
purging medicine, with n moderate
allowance of hay, ami a bran mash, one
fifth of which should be oil meal. Colds
and catarrhs arc not only opidotnio, but
endemic; be careful, therefore, where
you winter your sheep, that there is no
predisposing cause in their locality; and
when they aro at tacked, remove the m
instantly Iroin the flock. By fallowing
these precautions, and keeping them
weli led, sheltered, aired, watered, and
salted, one may bid defiance to disease
among his Hock."
HOW TO MAKE OIT.T-r.DGEH HUTTEtl.,
At the re.CClit exhibition of the C'ies
irr County (J'n.,) Agricultural Society,
Lsaac Acker received the first prize on
butter. 11 is mode of management, is as
161 lows : lie feeds ten quarts of airn
men I and bran to each cow, per day ,
with hay. Does not think that com
fodder makes good butter. I ho ten
pet at ore of the cream at ?huruing w as
;">7 degrees, and it was churned fro u
twelve to twenty minuf.es. Uses six
ounces of salt and three ounces of
white fiugai" to twenty pounds of butter;
uses an I'jiubrce butter worker, with a
spongj and cloth, and does not wish
the butter with water. Mr. Acker be
Hoves that tiie essentials to mako the
dairy business pay are good cows, well
led und well taken care of; go>dnud
convenient dairy houses and appliances,
and t hen produce a good article au i sell
it. at a high price. Last yo.ir, hisoiws
uyeraged 230 pounds each.
C A TT I. K S r A N'OII 10NS.
Three, years ago l built a harn, an 1
thinking I would be merciful.to my
cow:-, i had the platform on which the
eo-.-.s had to stand built four lo?t iiu 1
nine inches Ion;,', with only two in dies
drop; I tried this almost two years,
but I found the cows got very duty,
cspeci illy in the spring and lall, I
then took it up, made tho platform four
Ici t six inches in length and six inches
dr. p. L found this qui.tq an improve
ment, but st ill it did not quite suit m ;:
and this lall L made the platform four
feet and fcur inches long, with n slant
id' one and a half iiiuhes fro ii front to
rear, the drop being six in -h - at the
rear, as before This, 1 liud, works like
ii charm with my cows, which arcmedium
ei?.**; but '"or largo cattle the platform
ivouid want, to be from two to four
iuchcj longer. If 1 was going to i-n
pro*, e it. a 1. I would mak : ihu drop
platform an inch or two higher.? Cur
resiMtuffvucc t'omtfrj/ (!vnll<:inun.
? ..iMima . - ? ww. -?
The Jit-st low.
A pretty rich thin a; oenurrcd at the
establishment of Simpson not lou^sihcj
Simpson used to bo our millkm m, and
we attribute to !>im. i;t a greif, iu ?is ire
our loss of confidence in hu :i i litv g:5 t
orally, and m ilk tuen in p.trticuhr.
Mike Welsh lind been recomai uid 1 t >
Simpson us a fit man to assist in tiking
on re of horses and cows; so Mike w is
hired and placed iu oil irge of tins dV
pi rtnicut,
One m u lling alter Mike ha I boon a
mouth at the place, Simpmn who hid
made ready to start off with his m ile
cart, said to him
'Mike, you m ly give the cows, nne
oat meal this morning; a id bi sure y ? i
givo my best milker an extra qunnti
ty.'f
'The best milker, is it sir ?'
? Yes; yoi know that old cow that
gives the most milk V
'Beilud, I flunk I do, sir.'
' NN'oll you give her four quirl, of til :
mash.'
'All right., sir. I'll d > th it sum >.'
On tho evening of that day Simpson
had occasion io go to the old wood ill
pump in the yard lie tried the h in
die but it, wouldn't work ?The pump
bccmed to bo entirely choko-.l up. Fi
nally he discovered that all th ?. upper
part was loaded with something very
nearly resembling out meal inish. lie
called his man servant.
'M ike,'said he,'what is the matt or
with this pump.'
'The pump, is it sir ?'
?Yes. How came this o it meal mash
is hi-re V
'Sure, sir, \ put it in meselC'
'Stupid blockhead ! Why did you do
that V
'It was yersolf that told me, sir.'
?I?I told you to put it in horoi"
'Indudo ye did, sir.'
'Why, you thick heated rascal what
do you mean il"
'.Dun's bo iu a passion, master. Hid
ye not toll mo to givn yer host, milker
an extra quantity of the mash? and
where, in all the world, I'd like to know
is the erather that gives so much milk
to yer cans as dues this old pump 'I
The story leaked out, and added groat
ly to tho distrust already entertained
by Simpson's cuHlounors.
llutlorm.
The following is the Platform of the
Republican party of this Stale, adopted
at Columbia :
I.
W.c re affirm our earnest adhesion to
the platform and principles adopted by
the National Republican Convention,
at Pluhulolphi i, on th s Gth day of J un e,
187-, ns embodying the true ideas of
American progress.
Tf.
maintain the authority of tho
General (Jovcrnmcut to interfere for
the preservation of domestic tranquility
in tht.' several .State-?, and wo acknow
ledge with gratitude such interposition
in this State.
lit.
M'c deprecate lawlessness in any
form, condemn turbulent agitations in
any place, deplore violence, ititimida
tion or obstruction of personal or poli
tical rights by any party, demand an
universal respect, an I conservation of
the elective franchise in the hands of
the weakest, and shall bold all men as
enemies to equality of rights who in
lerfcru with or deny the free and law
ful exercise cd' its use to any citizen,
ivhctever may be his party creed.
IV.
We pledge Ourselves to continue,
scrupulously, to enact and enforce the
financial reforms promised two years
ago, and io largo measure fulfil led, in
proof of which we point to the follow
iog laws, viz: ??The law to Levy
Specific Tax," "the law to Redu< : tho
Volume of the Public Debt," ' the law
to Regulate the Number of A ft ichues,"
? the law to Regulate tho Publiu Print
itig," - the law to Regulate the Dis
bursement of Public Kunds," ' the law
to Regulate Assessments."
V.
We p'edgo ours slves to reduce the
pul lie expenses within the public
revenue, and to secure the enactment
of a law requiring ail public nllicers,
who disburse moneys, to give to tho
public detailed monthly statements of
all receipts and expenditures derivable
(ro'ii a luudeinto assessment and-tax
rate. *
- ? . ?* r^>
vT.
We rhrncfitly entreat the Congress
of the United States to pass tho Civil 1
Rights Rill, which is absolutely essen tin 1
to in1? rse the eofstituiional guaranty
of equal rights lor all American
citizens.
VII.
We especially ptedgo o^r^dves to
maintain the settlement ol t j Public
Debt as uittde last winter, au l to reject
all claims against which there is a
shadow of suspicion.
VI Ii.
Who hold thai all franchises granted
by the State should he subservient to
the ] ublie good; thai charges for travel
and freight should be equitable and
uniform, ami no unjust discriminations
be made between through and local
t ravel and freights.
IX.
We shall advocate such a modilica
tion of our present system of taxation
as will prove of the largest a Ivantage
to i ur agricultural interests, and shall
lend our earnest endeavors to tho enact
iheiit of.?buch laws and to the encourage
iiM'ttt of seh means as will the most
speedily deveiope the. resources and
build up the manufacturing ami in
dustrial prosperity of South Carolina,
ami the construct ion of such new rail
toads as will give the largest aud
cheapest facilities to all our citizens.
We will ni t only protect, in the
truest sense, the properly Of the State,
but pledge ouiselvos to such wise, just
ami hutuano* laws as will perfect ibc
education a ud elevation of our laboring
classes.
XT.
With full faith in thejustici of these
principles, acknowledging our errors in
the past, lmi feeling.confident of our
ability and determination io correct
them, ue appeal to all true Iteptibli ? ins
to unite in bearing our candidate to
victory, and pledge ourselves to carry
out , in the practical administration of
the fjovcrtiniout,every priricipjo inscrih
cd upon our standard in the interest of
the whole people of the State.
? - ? -?.-?..?.
a SaI> STORY. ? Perhaps the e fuel
power of slander Could not. be butter
illustrated than in the case of.:
Mdlle. Zoe, a dausuuso who recently
made a figure in the Chicago Police
Court. An investigation into her
antecedents revelled the fact that she
whs a.member of an aristocratic Ludittn
upolis family, and onoo a reigning belle.
Driven troni her homu by a oriiel an 1
ttnlbuuded report alfpcting her reo u i
lion, she embraced the stage as a pro?
Cession, sank lower and lower, and
lit).illy became the loading attraction at
a low variety theatre in Chicago.
The. body grows according to what it
feeds on, so docs the mind.
Ethibpeaii Wit.
It-is ani old story, and perhaps some
of my readers have hoard the amend
ment. I heard Billy Morris enunciate
it. and it afforded mo a hearty laugh,
Ohl Sambo had a mind to sharpen
the wits of his hopeful son ami heir,
nud in furtherance of this praiseworthy
object he propounded as follows.
!Julius (Jcusar, I wants to ask you
a question.'
'Proceed; ancient.'
'Now lo de huah, rfulius,? s*jm^u dar
wj?s six piggeons a sittin' on a rail fonco
and you should fire a gun at 'em, and
kill lour of 'out, how mauy woul I b
left V
'Par was six in do fust place ? said
Casar, thoughtfully.
?Yah.'
'An r fire V
'A-yah.'
'A nd kiil four of 'cm ?'
'Put's ii, my son. You kill 'our out
ob dc six?now how many would dar
be left V
Julis counted over his lingers, an 1
finally answered.?
'Why, olo man, diit's no question at
ail. Dar'd be two left, ob course.'
'No. .J ulius-'
' But I say. dar would.'
'No, no, Julius.'
!j)y gully ! ! like to know how you
make it out :"
(Julius,' said the sire, with a look of
extraordinary wisdom, 'when you lire a j
big gun at six pigeons, a aittiu uu a I
fence, aud shoot four of 'em, wouldn't i
dc odder two fly away mighty qitiok i
Sjjfc now? how many would be lelt?'
Julius Cicsur for a time hung his
head, and old Sambo was towering in
majesty of intellectual superiority when
the hopeful son and heir suddenly I
brightened,
'Say. ulc mnu, you t'iuk you're .smart
don't yet'
'I was only gibiu }"ou a lesvm .Ju
lius.'
JJut you ain't quite so smart as
you think for. 1 say dar would bo two
left !
JuliusCiusnr! Do you dispute your
paternal ? Don't, you see dat dar
couldn't be unj ob em when yon had
nud and frightened <1 m dat you didu't
m:. j
Hut; ?le tSambo J umble, jes' you look
huah. Dur was six pigeons a sitting on
do fence V
Yah.
And 1 lire, an kill lour of 'o:n ?
Ex nctly.
Den ! say dar would bo two left.
J ulius, yiui is a simple. !.)jnt you sec
.what 1 tale you? Wouldn't ?lein odor
two Le frightened, and lly away m i?hty
suddeii i ? - '
Ml venerable paternal; your men til
optics la objllSCatcd. You don't see -le
grand consummation. Here it am:
L lire at d> in six pigeons on de fence '.'
Yah.
An I hill four oh cm ?
Snrtiu.
Den whars do odder two 7
Puts.what 1 axed you JuMiH,
I tell you. old Sambo Jumble, d uii
odder two left berry quick. Wasn't
dat what J said? (Jolly lob course dey
left
Old Sambo scratched his head, a nd
later he might have been seen studying
the anecdotal column oT an ol 1 news
paper, wherein ho had found tin: puz
r.lc with which lie had thought la eon
found his son.
-?.?nun . - ? Cttcmi i -
Worth Keinem bering.
Bcn/inc snip common clay will clean
marble.
Cti?tor oil is an excellent thing ti so!"
ten leather.
Lemon juice and glycerine will re
move tan and freckles.
A tlose of castor oil will aid you iu
removing pimples.
Lemon juice und glycoritlO will clean
and soften t Ire hand -.
Spirits of ammonia, diluted a iit
; tie, will cleiiso the. hair very thorough
ly.
Lunar caustic carefully nophed so as
not to touch the skin, will destroy
warts.
Powdered ni;.rc is good lor removing
freckles. Apply with a rag moistened
with glyeci inc.
To obviate oflensive perspiration w
J your lil t with Boap and diluted spirits
of ammonia.
The juioo of ripe tomatoes will
remove the stain of walnut from the
j hands Withoutiujury to the skin.
I To remove iron rust from linen, up
j ply loillOU-juice and salt .and OXpusu to
I thu SUli. Make two applications if u s
j cessitry.
The witty wife, of a noted physician
advises her husband to keep away from
funerals id'his oiitients, as it looked top
much like a tailor carrying home his
work.
The Christian Union, Mr. Pccchcr's
paper says : "It bus been Mr. Beccher's
i fortune to have the, weakest things in
i hire brought full before public gaze/'
I If not more so.
A Gypsy Divorce
A camp of gypsies, is near Washing
ton. and a Republican reporter lias
visited it and talked with Gitaui, a
gypsy maiden. \Vo quote :
'?We suppose you are human beings
and have to gut divorced V
'?Sometimes; but it's a dreadful thing
with us io get divorced. It causes ^rief
and mourning, and blood has to be
shed."
"Well, prav tell us bow you gH
divorced?"
"I knew I am talking too-much,"
and the Gitaba trembled as she spoke,
but a hull dozen bright silver quarters,
thrown into her lap, seemed to rive her
assurance. t;l know 1 am talking too
much, but I'll tell you. It is this.way:
When a man and his wile nr.; to be
separat.fd, it it: done by the sacrifice of
a Imrse.
'?One is picked out which is entirely
sound and free from a bruise, or even a
scratch, and ? bo is led out to the spot,
where the divorce, is to take place, nod
exactly at. twelve o'clock. The men
cast lots for the one who shall kill the
horse?, and for this occasion be is the
priest. The priest takes a long p ile in
Iiis hand nod walks around th? horso
Bevern I times, and in a loud voice prai
scs his good qualities, and names all tho
persons who have owned it.
Tho horse is then led into tho lent of
the woman who is to he divorced. If
he kicks round and jumps, the wpuiah
has been very bad ; if he keeps quiet,
sho has not been so bad. The priest
then takes a large knife and stabs the
horse to the heart, ami when it is stretch
cd out on the ground, the husband
lakes Iiis place on one side of it, and
the wile on the other. They join hand'
across the horso, and repeat some
sentences in the gypsy lang nag'*. Then
they w ill.- three times arptiud the horse
in opposite direct ions.
"Tbc last time. When at the bead of
the bore, they face each other and
speak, and d ? the same thing at the tail.
They n^ain shake h ind< ami si-patvtte,
one going north and the other Routh.
S'te never marries again, and bus to
wear a mourning veil, and big shoe- "U
Ikov fecit Tho heart of.the horso is thcu
taken out, pasted, sprinkled with
brandy, and oaten by thebtubandnnd
his friends. The horse is then buried on
the spot. Tho husband can many
again;
Wife A net ions in Virginia.
The history of the Virginia Common
wealth commences with an auction sale
? not, however, in a store, but beneath
the green trcC.t of ?I ?tniCStowh, where pro
bably the most anxious and interested
crowd of auction hahi'u>:$x ever kn iwu
in the history til the vv irld, .veregtth ;r
e l. In a letter, still to be s^en, date I
London, August 2\\ 1(521,and directed
t > a ?ycirtby colonist of thatscttleirent.
tlie widtt'r begins by suyitig :
"We send you a shipment, one wid ?w
ami eloyen maids, for wives for the
people of Virginia. There has been
especial care in the choice of them, for
the re hath not one uf them been received
but upon good commendations: Incise
they cannot be presently married, wc
desire that they m ty be put with sever
al householders that have wives, uutii
they can bo provided with hu-bau Is."
liut the writer of this epistle had
little reason to fear that any of the
??maidens fair" would be left over. The
archives contain evidence to prove lb it.
these cargoes of young ladies were, put
up at auction, and sold for one hun Ired
and twenty pounds of tobacco each, an 1
it w.is ordered that this debt should
have precedence id' ail others. Tlie
solitary "one widow" wont along with
the others, for they could not be pirtiou
Itir in those days 'I bo goo I minister
ol the colony no doubt had a busy time
that day. lie did n i mention any fee,
nor did the bridegroom think of tender
ing any. Ali wiis joy and gladness; no
st onus ahead, no uneasiness for the fu>
iure, no inquisitive clerk to stand arid
say. -'Here's (lie license; fork over that
dollar." Nothing of that sort. From
some of these couples tho first families
of Virginia arc descended, and well may
auctions bo popular there.
??> ?-?-?*>
A DouutpuTi Kk.mauk..?A Wash
ington st >ry is that Mis. Speaker
iJhiiKi bad a difficulty with Mrs. Sena
tor Sprugueabout a cook. Meeting at
dinner-table, with only Moni Zach
Chandler between them, Mrs.Spraguo,
leaning forward, said, "I am sorry, Mrs.
IIlaiue, that we have anything dis
agreeable between u.s." The lion.
Zach was considerably embarrassed,
never having heard the interesting
story of t he cook.
A darkey, left in charge of tv tele
graph ollico while the operator went
to din nor, heard some one 'call' over
the wires, aud began shouting at tho
instrument; 'J)e operator isn't yer 1'
TlfcO uoisa ceas.cd.
A sympathy with the pains ami pleas
tires of others is the foundation of our
racial virtues.
A Snake'Story? ?*?
Many years ago', when a boy, I lived
i M iiine, and near my father's house
ran q uitc n largo stream. One day whou
T was about fifteen or sixteen years old,
L wont fishing with my brother, tvo
years older. A.few"rods from the stream
in La <? opcli field, my brother .saw one of
tho largest-sizpd striped sua-kes sur
rounded by i\ large node of young ones;
and upou being discovered, thebldsnake
began to hiss, opening her mouth wide,
and all the little '.'ties ran down her1*
throat. Then my brother called nie to
iioinc, and when L got there a few .of
the lost ouos wore jur.-L enter ing he.*
mouth, lie said that when fie firmsalv
t,hc -:::'.icc she was lying in a wavm,lsufn-''
ny spot, and those little one;, appirotiW
ly two or three dozen of them, were
lying around her ou the grass, and when
she began to hiss*hoy crawlc I to her
mouth and went down her throat, one
only at a time, til! they all disappeared
in that way. tt was very wonderful to
us, neither of us having ever hoard of
tho like; and wo were not satisfied to go ?
aWay without knowing something rnoro ?
about it, and s.o wo determined to der
siroy the snake and make a post mortem
examination, whieh wc did. We found,
a large sack eight or ten inches in
length connected with tho throat of the
snake, and through this thiu membrane
wc could hoc tho little snakes, all coiled
up, and each .separately by itself, which
excited our curiosity still further.
I pon opening this sack we, found little >?
cells or pockets attached to tho sides of
it, large enough to hold one apiece, and
capable of being distended to a' much
larger size, with a mouth opening to*
waf.ds the throat of the snake and into. ?
which one nod one only of these little:
ones had entered And hero was s; a3
thiug more wondirful-scill: How oouM
i ich ol th liulo creatures have found i
its way into these littlii pockets, and
only one iu the same place 7 Upon
opening tho little pockets an'dTCiki?g
put the young ones, incrvliblo as it In iy
seem, we found the number to bo thirty
two, and what Was also remarkable,.thoy
were ol differcut sizes, souic of them <*
being fivo or six inches in length, and ?
some not more than three inches.
"J ? , H I tiro if I Do*
In olden times, before the Maine Iut
was in vented ^ ,Wingi kept tho hotel iit
Middlo (!ranville, and from his well
stocked bar furnished ''accommodation?
to man and beast." He was a good
landlord, but terribly deaf. Pish the
viliiago painter, was afflicted in the
same way.
One day they wore sitting by them
selves in the bar room. Wing was be
hind the counter, waiting for the next
customer. While Fish was lounging
before the lire, with a thirsty look,
wishing that some one would come iu
and 11eat.
A travi lor from the south on his way
to Bimitou stepped in to inquire the
distance. Going up to the couutcr, ho
said.
'Can yon tell ino, sir Iiotv far it is to
1 ?ranton ?'
'11 randy V says the ready landlord;
jumping up,'yes, sir; I have some/ a;
die same time handing down adeemtor
of the precious liquor.
? Vou misunderstand me,' said tho
stranger. ll asked haw far it was to
? Brauten.,
! 'They call it pretty goad brandyi' says
I Whig. 'Willyon take sugar with it?'
reaching, as bespoke, for tho bowl and
toddy stick.
The despairing traveler turned t>
Fishi
?Tho landlord;' said he, 'seems to be
deaf; will you tell mo hew far it is to
Brantou ?'
'Thank you,' said Pish, 'I dont care
if 1 do Utkb a drink willi yon.'
The stranger treated and floJj
-??-?-?Mo.ria? . -. <aMii>i'..
A writer in the Medical Journal, in
speaking ol the adulteration of the vn
ri> us articles of food, speak* of a reputa
blc deacon who kept a grocery store,
und who discoursed daily with his ap
prentice, somewhat, alter the following
fashion:
J ohn have you sanded tho tugnr ?'
' Vos sir.'
'II ivo you watered tho rum and thg
molassosV
Yes sir.'
I Then coaio up to prayer*.'
J Scarcely a week passes without tho
record of some wonderful stirigical ope
ration. Sally Brown was reoenrly taken
in hand, had a broken knee and dislooa
ted rib takpn out, and new ones put m
and sho is now as id as ever. It may
not injure the story much to add that
Sally is a canal boat !
'1 cannot imagine,, said an alderman,
'why my whiskers should turn gray
so much sooner than tho hair on my hoad
'.Because,' observed a wag,, 'you havo
worked much harder with your jaws
than with your brains.'
There is no slavery so hard, so dogra*
ing, to mserablc,'-'tiploathsome as that
of intemperance.