The Orangeburg news. (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, September 19, 1874, Image 1
_ * __ _^^^_? ,:l,_^^^^_^ _ ,.
two doll a us per annum. J> GOD A.TST jO OTJ }l COUNTRY. always in advance, y
Ht?LiSeI."~~~ saturday morning?? uptm ebhr 1% 18x1 ~ ^ number 33
Coroner's Inquest on the Body jof
Jnmcs W. Browning.
iiA h . i ? .????..?<..?
held at bamberg on sunday, 3ut1i
august, 1874, by oliver dewktt,
trial justice, acting AS coroner.
Information having been la'ul in this
case by F M Bamberg, a lawful jury of
inquest whs duly summoned, composed
of the following persons, to wit : 11 J
Brabham, foromau, lion. James
Smith, G Y Patrick, W F Patrick, J S
B Jones, J F Jones, VV W Smoke, S T
Fniiy, Ilcnry Smith, Andy Hamilton,
Jack Jenkius, G A ltiee and Jerry
Thomas.
Tho jury having viewed tho body,
..then lying iu a room of B F Slater's
store house, and a post mortem, ul tho
body having beeu made by Dr. J F
Boggot in the presence of the jury, the
following evidence was taken :
Dr. J F Bnggot sworn : Have made
post mortem examination' of the body of
James TV Browning, and am of opinion
that the said James W Browning came
to his death from a pistol shot wound,
tho ball entering the right breast, near
tho right nipple, ranging through the
-' lower lobe of the right lung
(Signed) J F Bacgot."
William L Oonnelley sworn : 1 do not
fcnow anything of the shooting of James
W Browning; was at Murphy's store,
and heard the shooting.
(Signed) W.L CoNNELLEY.
Brooks F Slater sworn : On Satur
day evening, 29th August, 1874, after
?supper, James W Browning came into
my store, come behind the counter, and
asked me for a pistol; 1 asked him what
ho wanted with it; he said that J W
Crum bad threatened to shoot him; I
,gave him a pistol, a nuall seven shooter,
and I went with him; we walked from
?nry storo up towards Dixou's store,
?going towards and along the rail oad
platform; when wo had passed a mul
berry tree, near Dixou's, Mr. Crum
=ppokc. lie (Crum) was standing right,
by tho trc.e. Mr. Browning had pa sod
the tree. Crum asked, ''Who is that'(
Mr. Browning replied "it was him,"" and.
turned around; 1 saw a flatdi from u
. pistol in the baud of Gl um; 1- reeogn i:
Mr. Crum from the light of the flash of
the pistol; previously I did u >t r-.-co^
ttiro Mr. Crum's person, only by his
Yoice; Crum was about lour feet from
Mr. Browniug when he fired; alter Mr
"Crum fired, Mr Browuiug eith r struck
*Crum or pushed hi in; Crum foil, with
Mr. Browning on top of him. Mr.
Browning said as?oon as he was shot,
""fie has killed me." I told him [ d d
toot think he was hurt; a sccoti 1 shot
was fired when M r. Browning was < n
Crum; I do not know who tired tho
?Ebot; after the second shot, and while
Mr. Browtiitig was on too of Crum, 1
beard a pistol cocked; I got down on my
?knees, aud took a pi.-tol out of Crum's
?hand; it was cocked when I took it out
toFhis (Crum's) band. The pistol 1 niw
produce is the one 1 took out of Mr.
Crutn'a hand; Mr. Browning was not on
"Crum over a half minute?a very short
time; Mr. Browning got oil' Crum of his
own accord aud started for my store; on
cnteriug the store, Mr. Browning re
pcatcd that 'rlt'e was killed" more than
once; 1 told him "1 did not think he
was." Ho went iuto tho back room and
'sat on tho floor; I got him on the be i;
just as I bad got him on the bed, aud
Went back to the door, two other shots
were fired sonio distuueo in frout of tho
??office; it was very dark during the time
?of tho fracas; Crum was in the shad >w
of tbo tree. All of this happened in
the town of Bamberg on Saturday uven
ing, August 29, A. D. 1S74, between
the hours of 8 aud 9 i\ M., I think Mr.
Browning died about five minutes after
he entered the store; I sent tor Dr.
Baggot and he got there just as Mr.
Browning was dying.
(Signed) B F Slater.
Edward F Slater sworn : At Bamberg
on Saturday evening, August 129, 1874,
about 8} o'clock r. si., I came down
from F M Banibcrg's; I came to a "pride
of India" tree stauditig opposite to
Crum's store; I heard Crum s ty some
thing about Mr. Fairy and John Smith's
fight; I heard him call both Dames;
Crum said ,lit was not so;" Mr. Browu
ing was present and asked if ho meant
that for him; Crum replied "that he
could take it to himself;" Crum got. up;
Mr. Browning was sitting on tho bench
in Crum's piazza; Mr. Hrowuiug had a
ehair in irout of him, and when Crum
rose he picked up the ehair and pushed
him (Crurc) down with it; he (Crum)
apparently fell back against tho wall;
Mr. Browning rau out of tho piazza of
Mr. Crum's storo arouud tho corner of
Hartzog's storo; as Crum got up Air.
Browniug was running aiound tho cor
ner, as above stated; Mr. Crum said:
"I'll bo d?d if 1 don't kill Browning,"
be (Crutu) went into bia store; J P
Murphy was standing outsido of Crum's
store; Murphy said tolttm, "Dou't you
go down there, Crum," Murphy had
reference to Crum's going down to
Frank Slater's Btoro; Crum said,"I am
going down there to see the gentleman;"
bo alee said, "I'll be d~d if I dou't
kill liinij" Murphy endonvorcd to kocp
hi in from going; Crum started towards
Frank Slator'b store bareheaded, nnd
wont in the street towards Sluter's, close
to Isaao Liobmun's piazza; I started bo
hind hiiu; I saw Mr. Drowning come
out of B F Slater's store; Slater was
with him; they came towards Liebman'a
store; Crum, as he got opposite- tho mul
berry tree by Dilau's shop, stoppe 1; hj
got behind tho mulberry tree; I stop pa I
within about fii'tccu feet of him; as Mr.
Browning got pretty close, [ wontabiut
six feet, where t'ruiu was standing;
when Mr. Browning got about four feet
from himj Crum said, "Is that you.
Browning?" Mr. Browning replied.
??This is mo." Ah soon as Crum said
the words, he threw the pistol ri<:lit
against Mr. Browningand Bred; Crum
had tho pistol in his right hand; ho put,
the pistol to Mr. Browuiug's breast and
shot hi in; us soon as Crum shot Mr.
Browning struck him and knocked him
(Crum) dowu, Mr. Browning exclaim
iing that "ho w.is shot " I said to Frank
Slater, "I am d?1 if Ian goingt)
stand this;" I started towards Crum an I
Browning; Frank Slater ran in bitweo i
me and Crum and Browning; Frank gut
on his knees, and npprirod to g'.'t h >ld
ol one of the combatants; I wont to ?^o
around Frank, but hojuuipol up and
got between the combatants an I uiysnf,
Mr. Browning got up nni slappcl his
hands on his breast and said, "I am
killed;" Crum juinpel upanlstirt.il
offj and got ubout thirty fcjt; [ stirtcd
oh towards Frank Slater's storo with
Mr. Browning; I wheeled and ran after
Crum, and said I was n it going to 1 t
him get away Ab >ut that time Mr.
Browning and Frank Slater got on tho
stoie steps; I was ab >ut forty fo't from
thorn; Mr. Browuiug said, *? I am g dug
to fall;" I went hick to them, an I went
to tho room with Mr. Browning au 1
Frank Slater; Mr. Browuiu j.wout to
got on the bed in the room, but foil on
the. side of the bod. L said, ''Frank, put
him on the bod I'll git tin dmtir.'" I
ran out and. sent two culoro 1 in m to go
afrpr tho d ejt ?r I aslw 1 three, or fo ir
col irud men stuudiig outside thu d > ?r
to help mi catch him. I se it one of
them to toll F M Hamburg that Mr
Crum hal shot Mr. Browning. [ was
not.present when Mr. Browning died.
(Signed) .-13 FrSLATEU
Willinm J Jones sworn : Am a re-i
d'eut of tho town of B iniborg. On
Saturday ovouiiig, 29.h August, 1371,
alter supper, boiwccn S and ? o clock, I
left home and went to Fran's Slater's
.store; I left his storo au J went t > Mr
Gruln's'store; whoa I got there L luird
J P .Murphy trying to quiet Crum. lie
told him "not to hive any fim. u ?t to
do that " Ho apparently was trying t)
pacify Crum. My curiosity was excited;
I looked and saw Crum have h pistol tu
his hand; d um walked out of his storo;
Murphy said, "I can do nothing with
you," and Murphy left; Crum started
towards Frank Slater's storo; ho walke 1
a little below Mr. Dixon's shop, and
said, "Is that you, Browning/?.''Mr.
Brown'ng replied, "This is iue,"o
words to th it effect; on thu reply, iMr
Crum lired; Mr. Browuiug, I think, fell
to his knees and rose, und L think struck
Crum. who fell with Mr. Browuiug ou
lop of him; Mr. Browning exclaimed,
"11c h is killed mo," or words to th it
effect; Cruin got up and left. About
twenty stops Irovi where the fuss dour
red, and iu the direction that (/rum
went, two pistol ?hots were lired, but I
do not know who lirol them; I heard
only one shut lired whou Crum und Mr.
Browning got together; am positive of
that; whou Mr. Browning wont in the
room he asked me to pull off his Eh oos
and to piit so nothing under his h :a 1; I
searched for a pistol; Mr. Browuiug did
nqt have one thon; I bv.V Frank slater
at tho shooting; \V II Green was noir
mc at tho tiurS of tho shooting; both of
us loft the storo of Crum together,
when Crum and Murphy wcro talking
at tho storo, from their conversation 1
was made uwaro that Mr Browning
was the man meant, by Crum, and
whom ho was angry with.
(Signed) W J Jones'.
State of South Carolina,
Baun well County.
Au inquisition indented, taken at
Bamberg aforesaid, the thirtieth day of
August, A. i). eighteen hundred aud
scvcuty-lour, before O.ivor Hewitt,
FiSq , trial justice, acting as coroner.
Uoon thu view of the bo ly of Jamos
W Browning, then and thcro being dead,
by tho oaths of H J Brabtidin, tore in m,
James M Smith, G Y Patrick, VV F
Patrick, J S B Jones, J F Jones, W
W Smoke, 8 F Fairy, Henry Smith,
Audy Hamilton, Jack Joukius, G A
llioo aud Jerry Thomas, being a lawful
jury of inquest, who, boiug charged aud
sworu to inquiie for thu State of South
Carolina when and by what moans tho
said damns W Browuiug came to his
death, upon their oaths, do say :
That tho said |J W Browuing caino
to his death by being shot iu the right
breast., uoar the rijjht nipplo, tho bill
ranging through tho lower lobe of tho
right lung, said wound bciug iuflicted
by a pistol ball, shot from a pistol in
tho hand of J \V Crum, in the town of
Bamberg, bctwoju the hours of 8 und D
o'clock, oo Saturday evening, August
tho twenty-ninth, A. I), eighteen hund
red nnd Boventy-four; and so tho jurors
a!'orcsa:d, ou their oaths aforomd, do say :
That, the aforesaid J W Browning was,
in manner and form aforesaid, by the
said J\V Crum, then and there felon
iously killed, against tho povjoand
digni y of the sum 5 State aforesaid.
In witness whereof 1, Oliver Hewitt,
trial justice, acting coroner afoneslid,
nnd the jurors aforesaid to the inquisi
tion, have set our hands and seals, t he
day nnd year aforesaid.
(Signed) OLIVER HEWITT,
Trial Justice, acting Coroner.
II J Brabham, foreman : Jas M Smith,
G Y 1? trick, W V Patrick, JSB
Jones, J P Jones, W W Smoko, S T
Fairy, II \V Smith. <-.i A Rice, Andy
x Hamilton, Jack z Joukens, Jerry
x Thomas.
Story of a Postal Card
A prominent mere haut in St. Joseph ,
Mo , J. B. Johnson, lOsq., lias got hitn
self into trouble, the pist:n i-tor of St.
Joseph into trouble, the postmaster o!
Chicago into trouble; aud the Gover n
incut of the Unite 1 States into trouble
all crowing out of a bit of pasteboard
with some writing on it.
Some wocks ago Mr. Johnson, bav
in* occasion to order s him g.mJs from
Chicago, paste 1 a label abiiut the size of
a posing j Btamp, bearing his business
address, on the postal card.
The Chic igo cor re?p indent received
the card in due time, but bad to piy
six cents extr.i postage, aud so notified
M r. .Johnson.
As the latter had been in the habit
of posting these labels for so no timu and
had never before been called uoou f-r
extra postage, he cms'iltcd the post
muster of St. Joseph, Mr. Ainholdl
about it.
The latter authority informed him
that he had a right to label the cuds
and could continue to do so 'vith sifoty,
unless the cards were going to Chicago,
whose postmaster didn't uudcr.st tu 1 the
aw.
Thereupon, in a happy frame of mind
Mr. Johnson addressed a bard to tlu
Chicago house in his best handwriting,
and. wit Ii n feeling of exultation, tri'
uuiphuhtly and in a bold hand wrote
these words:
'Our postmaster saya your postmistor
is an ass.'
The Chicago postmaster forwarded
the obnoxious p.Mini card to Washing
! ton
Mr Cresswell put on his spectacles
an I read the St. Joseph postmaster's
pithy .opinion of tho Ohic-igo pisttnis
tcr.
The scsult of the reading was a postal
card from Mr Cresswell to the St Louis
postmaster which noirly lifted tho latter
functionary out of his boots, ami made
hitn realize us he had never done be'bro
how frail the tenure of a postinistor may
be.
Thcrcupou the postmaster called up
on Mi Johnson, and informed him tint
he had never said the postmaster of Chi
CBgO was an ass.
Mr Johnson brushed up his memory
and after awhile, concluded th it he w is
mistaken in the language he used; and
gave his postmaster a statement to that
effect.
This relieved the postmaster
He for\Vardod the statement to Mr
Cresswell, and once more felt secure in
his office.
Put it did not end here, for on Thur.s
day la*t an order came for the arrest of
Mr Johnson for using scurrilous Ian
euageon a j ostal card, nnd that night
he was arr>:st< d
Thus for the sake of a litilo business
l.ibel about the size of 11 dostage stamp
the St Joseph merchant got into a dilli
oulty with the St Joseph postmaster arid
the Chicago postmaster; got the St Jo
soph postmaster and tho Chicago post
master by tho ears; got the St Joseph
pcstimistcr into trouble with the govern
meat, nnd has got himself into a tight
place, in which ho may have to pay from
8100 tp,$1,000, or go to jail and stay
from 0110 year to ten years before he can
extricate himself.
Sundry Matters
If there is no insurance upon the
,b irn, ono should bo procured without
dolay. The vapor Irotn a bar0ful of
new bay or grasn is ono of the best co 1
duclor of lightning. Batho tho wh do
body with cold water every night, and
rub briskly with a dry towel. This
brings refreshing sleep, and conduces
to health. (Jive the men and boys a
buckot with soap ami towels, that they
may do the same. They will work the
better for it.
?????? . - ? -.
A married lady, who is in the habit
of spouding most of her time in the
soaicty of her neighbors, happmol ti bo
takeu ill, and sent ha' huib.wi 1 in groat
haste for a physician. Thehusbaui
ran a short distance, and then returned,
exclaiming, uMy dear, where shall 1
1 bud you when 1 come back V
gHonor Your Calling*
It in a good sign wlien a man is proud
of hi:-work. Yet nothing is more com
mon Ulun to hear men finding fault con
stantly with their particular business,
aud deeming themselves unfortunate bo
cause.- fastened to it, by the necessity of
paining a livelihood. In this spirit men
fret, nnd Jn'joriously destroy all their
comfort in v ork.
Oce?sionu'ly, a man fails in lifo he
causa' he is not in tho placo fitted for
his peculiar talent; it h appens ton times
ol'tencr that failure results from neglect
aud even contempt of an honest busi
ncs;;?0--A man should put his heart
into everything that ho docs. There is
not' U profession in tho world th it has
not its peculiar cares and voxu-.ioas. No
man will escape annoyance by changing
business. No inoohauical business is
altogether agreeable. Commerce, in its
endless varieties, is nfibctcd like all
other human pursuits, with trials, un
weloouio duties, and spirittiring ncccssi
tits. l It ia the very wantonness of folly
for a man to search out tho frets and
burdens of his calling, and give his
mind- every day to a consideration of
them. They belong to human life.
They- arc inevitable. Brooding, then,
only gives them strength.
Od ' the other hand, a man has a
p ?wer given him to shed bouuty an I
pleasure upon tho humbles toil if ho is
wisel'Lct a man adopt his budncss,na:id
identify it with his lifo, and cover it
with pleasant associations For Heaven
has given us imaginations unt alone to
make some men poets, but. to enable all
men; to beautify homely things Look
at good things. Accept your lot as a
man docs a piece of rugged ground, and
bepih to got out tho rocks aud routs. 10
dconpn and mellow the soil, to enrich
and plant it. '] hero is something in tho
most forbidden avocation around which
in:iy twine pleasant fancies, out of wh'io h
may be developed an honest pride.
A man can impart to a business a
flavor of honor by his own conduct,
which shall make it hereafter more, cred
itabh: to any one who enters it. Frank
lin left upon the printing oitico tin im
press which has bcncfittcd the profession
of printers ever since Blacksmiths
-l"*?Crtn speak of the uucanoji ized JOIihu
Burnt t. Once let a man convert his
business into un instrument of honor,
benuvo'eua i and patriotism, and from
that moment it is transfigured, and men
judge its dignity and merit, nol by what
it externally is, but by what it has done
and can do. It is better to stick to
vour business, nnd by patient industry
and honorable enterprise to crown it
with honor, than to run away from it,
and to seek prosperity ready-made to
your hand*. It is not what a man find*
that docs him good, but what he docs.
? - - ? <? i-i - .
' The vJooil old Times."
Wo shall hoar from a thousand
stumps the Democratic clamor for a re
turn to 'the goo 1 old times.' Many a
hungry politician will hoar the Bound
and believe it tho promise of tho good
time when tho cry. '1 am a D unocrat!'
Will.upon to tho faithful thu fattest
offices of the land. No doubt Tweed,
the dethroned king of Taramauy, as ho
sits with stripped .suit and shaved iu
his forced retirement and moralizes over
the dogeiidracy of the times, luoks for
ward to the hour when the Democratic
wand shall open his prison doors and
reinstate him iu tho political kingdom
which he lost We have no desire to
welcome the return of the 'good old
times.' We have had enough of then.
They cost us over $3,000,UUO,000 and
over halt a million lives. Wo are doing
our best to repair the injury, au 1 hope
in less than a soord of yours to wipe out
the list trace of Democratic misrule
We have reduced tho debt nearly $ 100,
0?0,OU? ill il little over five years, and
shall continue its reduction until ever
cent is puid. But wo protest ngninst
the ret^ru of tho times which forced
this burden on the notion. Ouco in a
thousand years wo might end uro a like
experience, but to go through it agtiu
during tho present century would tlX
good nature beyond tho point of endu
rance Wo might live through an epi
demic, bo tranquil over tho escape of
Tweed; road the details of thu Brooklyn
scandal every day in tho year, but noth
ingshort of a direct interposition ol
Providence could make us submit with
cheerfulness to the good old times of
Democracy. May tho sacrifice never bo
culled fur.
A pig was born recently in Columbus
with a half human fnco unti head, per
fect chin and mouth, signs of a largo
tusk on one side of the mouth, and a
perfect elephant's trunk extended from
the forehead, with oars similarly shaped
to those of an elephant. It will beau
interesting fact to psychulogtsU to know
that a circus h id passe 1 through Colu.n
bus somo months before this pig was
born, and that there was an elephant
with it Tho maternal sow may have
scon t It a clophaht?heuco the above
monstrosity.*
The Fellow that Looks Like Mc.
Max Adder, who writes for a Phila
delphia paper, has a friend named Slim
mcr, who deserves pity. He was going
up to Heading not long since, aud
when reaching the depot ho happened
to look iu the lady's room. A woman
sat there with a lot of baggage aud
three children, nnd when she saw Slim
mer she rushed toward him, and before
he could defend himself sho throw her
arms about his neck, nestled her Load
upon his breast, and burst into tears.
Slimmer was amazed, indignant, con
founded ; aud oro ho could find utter
ance for his feelings, she exclaimed?
"(). Henry, dear Henry ! wo are
united at last. Are you well ? Is
Aunt Martha still alive S Haven't you
longed to see your own Louisa?"
And she looked iuto Slimmer's face
and siniled through her tears.
"Madam," said he, solemnly, "if I
am the person alluded to as Henry, per
mit me to say that you have made a
mistake. My name is Lemuel, I have
no Aunt Martha, and I dou't own a
solitary Louisa. Oblige me by letting
go my coat; it excite? remark."
Then sho buried her bonnet deeper
into his waistcoat, and begin to cry
harder than ever, and said ?
"(), Henry, how can you treat me so?
How can you pretend that you are not
my husband?"
'?Madam," screamed Slimmer, "ifyou
don't cease slopping my shirt bosaai,
and remove ?our umbrella from my
corn, I shall be obliged to call the
police. Let mc go, I say."
'?The children are here," she por
sisted. "They recognize their dear
father; don't you, children ?"
"Yes, yes," tlioy exclaimed, "it's pa;
it's our own dear pa."
And then they grabbed Slimmer by
his trowscr legs aud hang to his coat
tail.
"Woman !" he shrieked, "this is get
ting serious. Unhand mc, 1 say."
And he tried to disengage himself
from her embrace?while all the brake
men aud the baggage master, and tho
newsboys stojd around, and said his
conduct was infamous.
In the midst of tho struggle a
stranger cutercd with a carpet bag. lie
h.oked exactly like Slimmer?and when
ho saw his wife in Slimmer's arms he
became excited, nud iloorcd Slimmer
with that carpet-bag and sat ou him,
and smote his nose, and caromed on his
head, and asked him what be mernt
Slimuier was removed on a stretcher,
and the enemy went oil" with his wile
aud family in a cab. He called next
day to apologize. His wife bad made
the mistake because of Slimmer's like
ness to him. And now Slimmer wishes
he may soon Le kicked in the face by a
mule, so that he will resemble uo other
human being iu the world.
How They Finally Got Married.
One long simmer afternoon there
oamo to Mr- Davidson's the most curi
ous specimen of an old bachelor the
world ever heard of. He was old. gray
wrinkled and od 1. He hated old wo
men, especially old maide, and wasn't
afraid to say so. He and Aunt Patty
had it hot whenever chauco drew thorn
together; yet still he came, and it was
noticed that Aunt Patty took unusual
pain with her dress wheucver ho was
expected.
One day the contest waged unusul'ay
strong, and Aunt Patty left in disgust
and went out into the garden.
?That bear; sho muttered to herself as
she stopped to gather a flower which
attracted her attcntiou
'What did you run for V said a gruff
voice behind her.
'To get rid of you ?'
'You didu't do it, did you ?'
'No; you are worse thau a burdock
bur.'
'Von won't get rid of me, either.'
'I won't eh V
'.Only in ono way.'
'And that?'
'Marry mo.'
'What! us two fools get marriod!
What would neoplo say ?'
'That's nothing to us. Come, say,
yes or uo; I'm in a hurry.' J
Well, no then.'
'Very well; good by, I Bhan't come
nga in.'
'Stop a bit?what a pucker you'ro
in.'
'Yes or uo!'
'1 must consclt?'
'All right; I thought you were of age.
doud-by.'
"Would my little Ezra, askod a fond
mother, "like to be a missionary, aud go
preach to tho suffering heathen ?"
Tears?bright poarly drops ol fooling!?
glistened in little Ezra's oyes as ho mui
mured : "No, I wouldn't; but I'd liko
to be on the perlice long enough to put
a tin roof on the big lummux that stuck
shoemaker's wax ou my seat to-day at
school."
According to Dr Magin, no oigar
smoker over committed suicide.
Useful Information- 9
>?! Rhubarb | leaves pattered around will
kill and drive away crickets.
'To clean marble, rub first with soda
and soft soap, then wash as usual with
water.
The fumcB of a brimstone match will
remove berry stains from a book, paper,
or engraving.
A Hille black pepper in some cotton
dippied iu sweet oil is ono of the quick
est, remedies known for earache.
To reniovo iron rust from linen, ap
ply lemon-juice and salt and expose to
the bud. Make two applications if noo
cssary.
Simply bind chips Jof wood, four or
fivo inches long, to tho hen's legs, leav
ing only the hip joints in working or
der, and this will euro her of sotting.
Calves do not injure an orchard, but
usually improve tho fruit by picking up
the wormy fruit as soon as it falls, and
thus destroy tho insect eggs. 'Calves
soldo n aro inclined to gnaw tho bark
or to injure eveu small trees; they will
sometimes rub against tho trees, but
could do no damage unless to tho30 new
ly set.
A Boston Negro's Opinion of Beocli
cr
Rev. DoWitt Talmago fcclla the old
slory here again; how, a few years ago,
he walked iuto a Presbyterian church
in Boston. As ho entered, d colored
sexton, now attending tho colorol con
vention in Saratoga, bowed and said,
'Have a seat, sah?' -Plenty of.scats
dis mornin', sah.'
'No, 'hank you, can't stay but a mo
ment Just stepped in to soo tho church
What is the name of the clergyman ?
Can't sec very plain.'
'That, sah; is llcvarand Henry Wad
Bcecha, sah !
'Fine preacher, isn't he?' reiurnod
Mr. Tal mage.
'Well, sah, peoples has difieront no
tions 'bout preachers?'
'But he scfems quito animated.'
'Yes, sah; cousib'blo animated,'
'And appoars to have talent/
'Well sab, as I said afo, peoples his
such different notious 'bout proichers.
Par's some dat tinks he's mighty good
on dc words. I link myself he's a far
man, sah?a very far man sah; but not
of the pritna facie class. He's a good
man, sah?a well meanin' man, but not
a talented man. lie's a New York man
sah.'
A gentleman at Lako George, after
waving his handkerchief for half an
hour or more at an unknown lady, whom
he discovered at a distant point on the
shore, was cucouraged by a warm re
sponse to his sigual to approach his
charmer. Imagine his feelings whou,
on drawing ucarcr, ho saw that it was
his own dear wife, whom ho had loft at
tho hotel but a short time before.
"Why, how remarkable wo shoald have
recognized each other at so great a dis
tance," exclaimed both in the same
broath, aud then they changod the
subject. 1
If your sister fell into a well, why,
couldu't j'ou rescue her ? Because
you conldu't be a brother aud assist her
too.
Not one of the many balloon ascen
sions made this summer has produced a
fact to confirm tho notion of a steady
easterly currents iu tho upper air.
Don Piatt says shfowdly; , Humor
is to a newspaper what a tail is to a
kite?very absurd but very necessary to
its asceusiou.'
Hair brushes with musical boxes in
their covers are tho latest invention.
A cockney says they will play a hair
while you arc brushing your 'air.
For removing grease spots from any
f ubrio, use ammonia, nearly pure, thon
lay white blotliug paper over tho spot
aud irou lightly .
A student of anatomy Bays ho has
not yet bcon ablo to discover tho 'bone
of contention.' but he thinks it must bo
situated near the jaw honor
'John,' said a father to his son ono
day when ho caught .him shaving the
down off his upper lip, 'dou't throw
your shaving water out when thero nro
bare footed boys, for they might got
their feet pricked,'
Wo ofton hear of pooplo who are too
poor to marry, but a California couple,
who had been engaged for sotno tune,
married because they could not afford to
keep two scparato rooms in a boarding
houso.
A lad who borrowed a dictionary to
road returned it after ho had got through
with tho remark: It was worry nice
reading, but it somehow changed tho
bubject worry ofton.' It was his siator
tcr who thought tho first ioe croam she
tasted was a lcctlc touohod with the
frost.