The Orangeburg news. (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, April 18, 1874, Image 1

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4)cw *t Kj?ii?ot\*' vt.n;. '? II T>uir? ? /?' >wma ox \y; i x-.. | t? ?flBti i? r?d l.-i .. k i feto #Vn Ovaa^iL^?u^.-,-.. !-1_ * viw'?aDOLLARS P1SR ANNUM. )? GOD ^lN? OTJ\R CQFNTEY. , VOLUME 8. SATURDAY MO?NlNG, APRIL 18, L8T4. '? ? t ?uroa i ALWAYS IN ADVANCE. }? NUMBER 11 19 n? I ~:o:? PUBLISHED AT OiR-A^GERTTIRGr owj"oac?rwy Saturday, Morning* ?2* V BY THE *cys ,??i ^rf't ii 9SANGEBURG NEWS COMPANY * - ?:o;~~ ? lAO? . TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. 9ne Copy for one year. $2.00 ?? " Six Months. 1.00 Any ?bs nonding TEN DOLLARS, for a Clnb ef New Subscribers, will receive nn BXTSA COPY for ONK YEAR, free of '^j^gfgfc. Any one sending FTVE DOLLARS. :-,-.*T ft Club of New Subscribers, will receive *m EXTRA COPY for SIX MONTHS, free o erge. ? :o:? RATES OF ADVERTISING. Iq?*re let ..Insertion. $1.50 *?.!(.???? ii 2d " . 1.00 ^J;, A. Iqvare consists of 10 lines Brevior or j-.'.tW *f Advertising space. Administrator's Notices,.$5 00 Metises of Diamissal of Guardians, Ad seinistrators, Executors, &c.$0 00 ... ??naraet Advertisements inserted upon the : neet liberal terms. ?d*"!** ?:o: . 'C MARRIAGE and FUNERAL NOTICES, ?et eseeeding ono Squar?, inserted without ^'?torgt; Terms Cash in Advance. "Cr5a 0 P perry murphy, ATTORNEY AT LAW, RRANCIITITjfiE, S. C. Will practice in the Courts of Orange ?vre;, Celleton nnd Rarbwcll. ? Ol 'hb 7 3m Drs. D. W. Barton & Thos. Legare. Having united themselves in the practice ?ef MEDICINE under the name of ^ IiAlvTON & LtiftARE/''' . Offers t'..eii profession*! services to the'I T??a of OrAn^cburg snd surrounding " < anntry. Office hmir? fioni 8 to A. M. and 7 to 3 $f at night. 'o?r? Offite Market Street two doors below J. IB. Hamilton's Store. dee 27 1H73 DR. ft ?. TABER. LEWISYILLK, S. C, (ST. MATTHEWS V. 0,,J ot?e- 3??e 5 1873 tf [ xjarfIf yon Inave no Land, go piny see much as you w-nnt -on EASY TERMS at ? tJbe.ULND OFFICE -ef " AUG. B. KNOWLTON. Trev 15 _tf ' you bsivc More I.iind tliu.ii ^'^??w ean TAY TAXES on, Register it for s*lt At the LAND OFFICE of AUG. B. KNOWLTON. Iff you Ii?to Less I^ind limn yem wapt, BUY MORE at the 1 LAND OFFICE of AUG. B. KNOWLTON. * J^NJD AGENT The ttfndersigned has opened nn OFFICE for .the-SALE of LAND. . Persons having REAL ESTATE to dis ? jfeee of will do well to register the same i fer sale. LARGE FARMS subdivided and sold in L*!"?l?ith|er LARGE or SMALL parcels. Sri ? : GOOD FARMS' for sale at from $2 (9 $5 jviN^jlteWt,.^. easy terms. mm Vn- AUOySTUS B. .KNOWLTON, 2* ,^ylB ?rangeburgC. IL, S. fre'see-* >??>>> ' !_ _ Welder mey?rs, fee*,**,. TRIAI* JlSTItbE. OFFICE COURT HOUSE SQUARE, 1,1 Will give prompt attention to all business ^trusted t* him. mar 20?tf ^^owning & Browning, USSei* * ATTORNEYS AT LAW, $ ''e?RA9rOKBURG ?. II., So. 'JJii ? Malcolm I. Bboviniho. A, F. Buownixq. Bcocg. L v --1?1_?i ^BStTSTUS B. KNOWLTON ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR mc**?i>*j, j AT LAW, i >I%AN?JEJ1DK?, S. O. ai td Jnly ? i tf j .?;-:-:?< 4? >? fa*. ^ TRtfAI/ JUSTI?E, e??* ewfa*d?(H? ; ?v:"i ^ ?o> ? . Cr?/? ?#?.>14*H?e 1?^ ^rjf of, JKdiHto, ..iL BUSINESS -ENTRUSTED will bo Promptly and carefully attended to. Sam's Feast. Sarah's stories were wotnlerrul things. To be sure, they wore apt to be a little startling, and generally endod by Bearing her lia<encrs half out of their wits; but that only made them tnoro delightfully exciting. By tbo time the children got a hint of the coining treat, they erowded around, and Sarah began : 'Now, all you young uns must sit mazin' scill if I'm gwinc to tell a st ry ' Sarah's virtutfas a story teller was in her face and manner. She was very black, with large rolliug eyes, a very [ lung face, a moustrous mouth, great white teeth, and long thin hands, which had an uncanny while louk on tho in side, ai though the color were coming off. Perhaps you don't think hands have much to do with story telling, but they had wiih Sarah's, I can tell you. Quieting her audience with threats of ?daring 'em all out the housj, she began in a low, solemn voice : 'Ouct upon a time, 'way down in Ole Kcntuck', there lived a MAN! He was a-w f-u-1 rich, and had heaps an' heaps o' nice things in his dark cellar. Bottles an' bottles o' wine, bur'ls an' bnr'ls o' cider, an' lots an' lots o' hams, bar'ls an' bur'ls o' bacon, an' bins an' bins o' apples, an' jars an' jars o' sweet meats, an' boxes an boxes o' raisins, an' U ! piles o' good things to eat, in that dark celler.' Sarah paused to see the effect. Rush smncked his lips, and the eyes of the whole JohnsoR family rolled in ocstacy at tho delightful picture. 'But he was a-w f-u 1 stingy ! Not a speck of all thejic jec goodies woti'loi ho guv--''to a-u-y body. Lor! ho al'lus kep' the key in his own pocket, an' if he wanted ham for dinner, he went do ivn in that yer daik cellar." an'cut. a .-lice, nuff fur himself. An' if he wanted wine, he jes went down an' Pitched hi buttle, au' al'lus looked the do' arter him, an' never guv Sam the fuste-t speek !' ? ? ell, now,' Sarah went, m roll a t her eyes, 'that ar Sam was a po' nigga ? the only nigga the stia^j man had ; an' he was that stingy he never half fed him no way. He guv him a leetle corn u.-cal fur hoe cakes, an' onct in a great while a lectio teeny bit uv a sliec o' bacon. So Sam got thinner an' thinner, till he wns noar a fhadJer, an' bis fingers were long and bony.' And Sarah help up hers and clawed them iu tho air, till the children could alu.est *ee Sam and his bony hands. 'Well, one day this bad man had to go *w?y off to the big oity, an' ho hadn't got nobody to leave in the house but jes Sam. So he done measured out jes so much corn meal, an' hu said : 'Now, Sain, I shall be gone away three da} s, and that'll have to last ye till I get back. I'll warrant ye'd like to jes eat it every scrap the fust day, an' ax fur mo'-?it's jes like ye; but not a ; enojeo do you get till I come back, fur I've locked everything up. An' if I find anything out o' order when I come back, I'll?I'll?wallop you; see if I don't! V 'With, that so drefful threat, the cruel Mah'sr went off, an' left Sam all alone. Well, Sam went to clearin' up the house, an' when ho wont to hang up his Mah'sr's everyday close ?fur in course he woie his Sunday ones to go to town ??ho bars soniothin' hit again the wall, an' he thought to himself, 'I'll see what that ar is. Mehbe Mah'sr's done leff a penny in his pocket. Oh, golly ! won't I buy a buu !' An' he put his hand in the pocket, an' what do yon s'j>ote hrfound? 'THE CELLAR KEY! ! !' J Sarah, looking wildly at ltor listeners, said these thrilling words in an awful whisper, with a roll of the eyes end drop ping of the jaws, that mado it still nforc horrible. Oh, Lor'! horc's the key !' said Sam to himself; "what shall I do V An'then he thought awhile. But, sakes ! chilleu, 'pears like the Debil is al'us wuitin' fur chuuees, an' bo ho popped into Sam's head to jes go nn' look at the g"od things. 'I won't touch ary bit,' said Sam, 'fur olu Mah'sr'd find out if ono applo stem's gone?but I'll look.' That was tho lust wrong step, olulleu. Yo know how hard it is to dcfr.iin, it ye look at the thingc ye oughtouter. Well, this yer onravorent nigga crept down stairs au' unlocked the do', and peeped jn?t rem' I in' fit to drop. Hq mos' apeeted to fioe ole ^lah'sr behind a bar'l. But it ..- ... . . .. -??.?? i ?' i was as still as the grave, so ho crept ill; There hung the long rows o' hams?so juicy an' sweet; and Sam went up an' thought to hi.-Belf, 'Now, I'll jes smell o' one.' So ho smclled of-it, an' it was so nice seems like he couldn't help jes touch it with his linger an' clap his finger in his mouf, au' then ho did it again. Ye know, chillen. how the old Debil Stan's side o' yo an' helps ye on. Arter Sam had tasted onct or twice, he 8oen a teeny bit of a ham, way off in the fur corner, an' lie said to himself, '1 don't b'lteve ole Muh'ur'll ever miss that ar one?'tain't much 'count no way !' An' chillen, he was ih it hungry ho cnu'dn't holp it, I do b'liovo. lie siatchcd that hnm, nn' he cat.an' eat till ho couldn't stuff another in mf tul. an' hid the rot behind a bar'l. Then he went on an' wont on till ho co ne to the apples?bins an' binso' beautiful red apples ! And he smelt of'cm, an" then he oat an' e it an' oat till he couldn't stuff another moul-ful. Then ho went on an' went on till ho came to the shelf o' sweotmcats, an' he looked ot 'ein an'sm dt of'em, and finally he snatched a jar, tore off the cover, an' eat an' eat an' cat till ho couldu't stuff another moufful. 'An' thoo he couldn't eat any more sure nuff, an' he went out an' lock tho do'. But he nevor had so muoh to eat in his life, an' 'pears like ho was stutfe 1 so full he sort o* lost his reasons. He went out an' laid down on a bun :h in the sun, an' he said to hisself,' Lor' ! aint it nice tn have nuff to eat fur onct; there's poor Jim don't s'pose he ever had nuff in his life.' An' then a wury wicked idea come into his head. s j bye in by he got up an' wont over to Jim's?ho lived V&\% do'?au' he to!e him soon 's it was ni'ht to owiiover, aii' he tolo him to fotch Sally. Sally was the house gal. an' Sam likad he.,-, .in' then'ho wunt tov t'uin a a Hi com nu, to come too; a id finally, chillen. h^ vitcd ijuite a 'ap-jetablu c'?uip?n/. TU hi he went home, an' he wont into the woodshed an' fotch .d in big stieks o' w od, im' he made up a most won'or fu I fire, an'swept out th : hi; kit-chni idem an' nice, tho' he wasn't ex<ri na-it uow Sain wasn't 'B>ut ten o'ohnk la i?? company 'gm to c mie, th** la lies -til dro-ised up fine in some of their minis' things?low neck an' short sleeves, an ribbins an' white gloves. O, go way ! yer don't see no sich things up har 1 An' the gemmeu 1 Lor', chillen, if ye could see tho fino long tailed bluo coits, with buttons shinin' like marygolds, ye'd laff tit to split y'r sides. 'Atter tho company was all tharo, an' talked a littlo'bout the weather an'sicr topics o' conversation, he axed 'em ?Wouldn't they like a little refresh ment ?' They was very polito, an' said, ' 'No, thank ye,' an* 'I'd rather be 'xcused.' But he went to the cellar, an' he took'd out groat plates o' apples, an ' great pitchers o' cider, an' Tom holp jd him ; an' they fotched out Ule Mah'sr's tum'lers, au' ho filled 'em all up ; an' he futched out a whole jar o' sweet moats, and a great dish o* houey, an' pickles?oh, Lor'! r.uc'u heaps o" things I An' all the time Sam said, so polite, 'Ladies an' gemmen, hep you'self, then 'a mo' in Mah'ar's cellar !' 'An' thoy did hep thcirsclve-?, an' they oat au' oat till they couldn' stulF another moufful. An' whilo they was all stufun', an' Sam was ?rvrine round with a hottle o* winu iu each hau I, sty in' so polite, 'Ladios un 1 ^'cmuun, h youVelf, there's mo' iu Mah"sr's dollar he happened to look up ! 'Til EKE WAS IIIS MA IPS 11!' As Snrah snid thisidic gave a hi>rrik?s yell, nnd sprang forward, clutchingn tho nir, as though to soizo thorn ; ad her spoil bound listeners scr^ntnod, ad so:nc ofthoiu foil over baokwar Is. Delighted with tho ufiect of ier tragedy, she waited till they gath?cd themselves up, with awo-stmok faco to listen to the end. Sho lowered hor voico to n glftly whisper. 'Tho Mah'sr sprang togetSaihut Sam let out a soreooh null'to mi the dead; an' elared out thro' tho do* /tho* the debil was artor hiiu. Thoest of tho company slunk out 'thout <iu( to bo 'xcused, on* wusin bed evcrjoul of 'cm in two minutes, an1 snor/ fit to raid*, the roof. Sam's "Muh'sr rt till he got douo tired out, air thou hoiaggcd hisself homo.-' Sarah |stopped. After waifg a few minutes, Hush asked, in a soaa sort of a-voice, what became of Saui./ Sorah rolled her eyoa, shook^r hoad; dropped her jaw, and saidj hIowIj^Ho nevor was hoard of again:' I \ 'Run away ?'suggested "flush?i**^ 'S'poss bo. Mebby up norf tbiB very; day, fr all I know.' And Sarah turned to her work. > p^ar^o** j } - IMIIJ. . .--KIWI i -? How Uuclo Shade iLost His Kol I gion. i?!l j. /?; rt { HTi^!?!:.i( ] Everybody about ttockingham is ad fiuaintcd w'th old Unolo Shadraok Leak, colored. -Uncle Shado,' as ho is mpto j:?noraIly known, has during his lenghty and not altogether uneventful existouoo experienced to rather heavy fails. Ac cording to a statement made to us by him, his first great fall W4B in tho time of the Sherman raid, when ho foil from grace, (and that was a time, you know, when everybody's religion %was put to a severe test.)?his next 'downfall' being from an ox cart in front ot our office about 250 feet of lumber jailing upon Itiin, and which tickled Tom Hurt so Hut we will lot Undo Shade hjuitelf relate in his own peculia way, how he fell from graoo, his first, great fallf) ia i i me of the raid; 'I wuz liviug wid mars Watty don. I had heard a good deal Bed about de Yankees, white folks aed d i wuz mighty had folks, an' dat I mus' be berry tick ler an' tell dem nuflan but do trufe, as if da cotch me in a lie, da would be nhoro to kill me. Well, I wuz stnndio' in de front yard near de piazzy when de fuss Yank I seed made his 'pearanoe. He' wuzent dtess liko a aojer. but had on a high erown, hat an, rid up mighty qui etly, singin' uv a hymi. Do hymo wuz dis L believes, dat ho wuz a sing ?in? : "?'^m ?*??**?.j Hallaloo ! Hallaloo ! u ?. I b'lougs to do ban-' hallaloo ! I bad been a proajlher myself up to ?V-tii?e, aj?d I wus?atjU?od fruin)do way lie cuuTTTp"*; a'aFWs was a prcacSbt too or at least a mignty good iu.mi. he ok he rid up to nie. '"Sa niuy,' (ua culled ?Ii do nigger x?uvju, S.nu,j -low doz de do, sir V 'l'utty, woll tank 3*ou, boss.' (sod I) 'how doz you do V "lbe quite well, Sammy.' O. ho did talk so awuet and oioe. Sammy has you got an pig hams?'he ax.-d iu his sweet way. 'No, Sir, boss, have uo hauls,' I ( nod. *Got any chickens den, Sammy V he fuithcr enquired. We had chickens, hut I told him no, causn I didn't want him to git ,um. 'Any eggs, Sammy V 'No, Bir, no oggi.boss.' I replied. 'Pleosc hold mjhoss, Sammy.' I tuck hold ob do bridle, and ho got down off his hoss and went to de ohicken coop, and pulling a lar<,o buuch of keys fr um hin pocket unlocked do door, went.in and filling his higi hat wid egg? cum toating dem baok where I wuz I felt dat my time wuz ;oout up. having told n lio and hud beet cotuh in it. Hut my faith in de Lurfhad so fur sustained rue. Ho sot do Int ob eggs on de piaz za and den he tuned round to git. up on his boss, down went do old hat and broke ebboregg but four? Utuph ! how I vuz skerd ? I fait shore dat I should soon bo a dead nig ger. 'Sammy,' scd ho as ho looked at de eggs on de grouuu, 'ain't dat a hell ob a case?' I wir/, fctonishod (o hoar him use such ugly language, and I sod; 'yes, inoma, dud is a bad casj' 'Ye-1,' pcs he, "but 'ain't it a hell ub :\ case?' Not wishing to cuss, being a preach er, T Bed 'yes, roossa, drt an a very had case.' Den be drug out and old fword and its be, b 8 eyes flashing lire liko do debil: 1 Damn your "old soul, didn't I ask you it' it wiuent a most a lull ob a cafici" Thinking he wuz gwinc to cut mo in two, T jumped about thruc lo it high and hollored out; 'Ycb, mossa, damn my soul if it 'aiut a most hell oh a case !' Iso been a wicked man ebbcr since but if I'hb lost dut nasty Yankee will hab to answer fur it, which is sotno cou solution.'?llockingham Spirit of the South. A wcok conclusion?Saturday night. There is a boy residing near Hocking ham, only fifteen yonrs of age, who weighs 250 pounds! 11 in nam e is Long. i t*di .***?? Hook My Frock. i")t> ..tin Mo ' ?' '"?' ' 4 A day or ttro ago Justice Jocko, of St: Louis, received a call from a youog rtinh and a young woman, each of- whom was the bearer of a portly carpet-sack. 'Be you the squire V asked the young man with an air of diffidence. 'I be. Do you want to get married?' 'Yes, sir. ? We want it done right away, don't we, Mollie ?' ?Yes, Squire,' said Mollie, 'but hain't you got a dressing room, whore I can put on ray bridal dress and titivate a little V ?I am sorry to say my bridal chamber ifl crammed full of hobby horses, toys, trinkets and stuff seized by the constable from a fancy store. However, thore it is, if you think tl>ere is room enough for you to dreas.' The bride looked into the room adjoin ing the office, and declared that she could make out to slip on her dress in it. With carpet sack in hand, she ^entered tho lumber room and closo 1 the <2'ior. The bride-groom asked for another room, saying he had his wedding Gains in his valise, and would like to put them on. He was told there was no other room vacant, and that he would have to take a seat and wait until tho brido had enrobed herself and then ho could take hin turn. The young man sat down with an air of impatience, holding the carpet-sack between bis knees and twirling his thumbs. Constable McKeary, whose appearance is that of a Don Juan of the most killing type (although in reality he ia. the chastest man that ever chased a I juryman or repleviued a widow's par lor furniture,) had been writing at his desk when the bridal party enterod, and now .arose and passed into the passage way leading downstairs. The young man with the carpet-sack turned red iu tnc? ?aJ\c_8awjL the door eUjse upon the o^frtable. He "^evidently tnought ,McKeary had g?ne into the store room where the bride was making her toilet He became rorvous, threw his carpet sack into the corner, arost. sat down in another chair, and was extremely fidget ty The more he tried to conceal his emotion the rodder his face grew. At length, unable longer to endure the agony of doubt aud mistrust he ran to the door of the store room and entered. A scream was heard, and then the young man returued looking very sheepish. 1'his rash act of the bridegroom's came near breaking off the match, but the Justice explained to the bride that it wan all a mistake. 'Aro you a married man, 'Squire ?' asked tho bride, putting her face to a crack in the door. 'Yes, I have been married ever so long.' 'Well, then, I wish you would just come in here and hook my frock-' The justice complied with the modest request, and in a moment the bride came out in gorgeous attire. The bridegroom then entered the room and made his toilet, and when he returued the cere mony was performed without dolay. Then the brido re ontered the store room und changed her dress, and tho happy couple marched out with thou carpet sacks, highly elated. ?Ami They Shall Pay a Tax.' My beloved brethren, the lex roads. ?An they shell pay a tax.' Now there he umny kind oh tax. Thar be shoe tax. and vnrt-ix an thar be attax of the eholymorbus and tax on lawyers?which my beloved brethren, i? the best kind of tax, but the hardest an most dimoultust to collect. Hut thar's a day a eotiiin, my bolovud brethren when all these tilings will be brought up a standing,' glory halalu. lab ! Now, what does the book *ay, >uy retched sinners ? Does it say 'wo unto ! yew editors'/" Not a bit of it, my be ! l?Vod mourners. It says; Wo unto ye lawyers?yew skribos and fariscize.' An the ?J<dgo will say in that day; 'Vow Arp, an Underwood, and Print up ?stand up.' 'Yes, Lord,' An the Judge will ax. 'Did pow pay any tax in the other world?, Tin:i) will they all an?wer, mity skeerd 'No I.oi ii. Tho law reads; Injuns aud lawyors not taxed.' ?m Then *h?ll the Jedge, with a mity stern eye say; 'You lie like forty,? Pcilico, put these fellows ov?r on the ? . ? v ?> V* : * loft with the billj gotcs, and feed 'em on rat tail files and carpet tax for 999 years?Clerk call up Tom Aleck and the rest of em,' An, my beloved brethren!, tbar shall be weepin, and wailing, and smashen or teeth?Bill Arp in Rome Commercial. Disc out lit tire of a Snob. An amusing story of an English noble man, recontly deceased, is fold by the 'Man About Town' in the English Sporting Gazette. We give it in his own wordHj 'The Duke,' he says, 'was onco in church, no matter where, wheu a eollec tion was announced for some charitable object. The plate or bag, or whatever it might be, began to go round, and tho duke carefully put his hand into his pockot and took out a florin, which he laid on the pew before him ready for transfer to the plate. Betide him sat a litt'e snub who, noticing bis act;on, imi tated it by ostentatiously laying n sovereign along side the ducal florin This was too much for bis graoe. who dipped his hand into his pocket again and pulled out another florin, which he laid by the side of tho first. The little suob soon followed suit by laying another sovereign beside the first. His grace quietly added another florin, which was capped by a third sovereign on the part of the little snob. Out came a fourth' florin to swell the duke's donation, then the littlo snob triumphantly laid three sovereigns at once upon the Board The duke, not to be beaten, produced throe florins Just at this moment che plate arrived The little suob took up his handful of sovereigns and ostcntatio usly rattled them into the plate then turning defiantly toward his rival as who would say. 'I think that takes the shino out of you' Fancy his chagrin when the duke, with a* grim smile, put one florin into f..? -, *-?-?>-"l ''/';<*k'?^pa9HUft*|f> remain ing mx hack into his^pmWt Hi* grace used to chuckle whon he told that story, and 1 think ou the whole he got the best of it Hailway Signal Codi) of the United Slates. We publish the following railway sig nnls for the benefit of all interested: One whistle signifies 'down break.' I Two whistles signifies 'off brakes.' Three whistles signifies 'back up.' Continued whittles signfiics 'dun gcr.' Rapid short whistle, ' a cattle alarm.' A sweeping parting of the bauds on level of the eye signifies 'go ahead.' Downward motion of the hands with extended arms .signifies 'stops.' Beckoning motion of one hand sigui Ties 'back.' Red flag waved upon the trick signi Ges 'danger.' Red flag stuck up by the roadside signifies'danger ahead.' Red flag carried upon a locomotive dignities 'an engine tollowiug.' Red flag hoisted at a station is a signal to stop/ Lantern at night raised and lowered vertically is a signal to 'start.' Lantern swung at right angel across the track means 'stop.' Lantern swung iu a circle signifies 'back the Traiu,' \ A Cruel Disappointment A story is fold in Paris op a son of M Uixio. This eminent mas for ;i s |?i t time incarcerated in tlie fortress of Vin cenncs, after ilio vonp d etat. Hin wife accompanied by nneol her sons, went to see him. They dined toge'hor in his chamber The son was extremely sad and taciturn during the dinner, and at last atttaotcd *his lather s attention. 'Why, my deaj boy. what is the mat ter V 'Nothing, father;' replied the lad of eleven. ? 'Nonsense; I sco something is ihe niRtter with you. Come, tetl whjtit is.' The boy blubborcd, 'Why, pa, [ am so disappointed. 1 made sure of seotng you in a dungeon, chained to the wall, and you ain't. The late djpar:ed?last winter's boa nets. An Indianapolis beggcr goea about soiling his wife's wodding riugs to buy . bread lor his children. He has ahca ly told tilty of them, A Colored Girl's Remarkable jppi* ory. There is a negro girl in Brucetown, about 9 jears of agn, whose mainory : it truly marvellous. Her wonderful pow era were first brought to the notice of a white man, who,keeps a grocery lo that city, about two weeks ago. Hohad been reading aloud in her presence tha day before, and accideotly hoard her repeat, word for word, what ho' had rsad (torn the paper, though twenty four hottrfl had intervened. After this he tostad her memory frequently, and has found bor c puble of repeating thirty or forty lines from a book after hearing it read ouce over. Her intellect in othor ire* pect docs not seem at all aboro, if equal to the average, Such instances of rnora ory are not very unnsual.?Mary Sura men ills tells of an idiot in Edinburgh who never failed to repeat tho sermon word for word, eflor attending the kirk euch Sunday, 'Hero the minister cough cd-; Miere he stopped to blow his nose , She also tells of another whom she met in the Highlands, who knew tho Bible so perfectly that if he was asked whara* such a verse could tell without hesitation end repeat tho chapter. We remember also to have road a year or two agoiaa account of a man in Now York; .who could read ono side of the Herald) 2nd then repeat it, word for word, Jadvertistf meats and all. Thirty years ago/ or thereabouts, there woe a book paddlor in this part of Kentucky, who had * considerable reputation, for his remarka ble memory. Old Jimmy Hutchinson sold Pilgrim s Progress, ClelUnde Hymns, Children of the Abbey, and Solitude Sweetened, and was able, to ra peat whole pages from almost ,any .part of these books. . ?. * . n f ? Y! r\ Shaving a Granoer ?PersonsWha I visit barber shops would give a premium for a ^IjMrher .who1 would not insist upon ting to a 'shampoo,' when they only wished to be shaved. A man who called at a tonsorial establishment oo Smith hvld street succeeded in nonplussing a most persistent knight of the razor. The 1 arber insisted noon giving the trans ient customer a 'shampoo,' sad the T. C. peremtorily demanded why such a request was made. Thou a little colloquy ou.tued something like this : Harber?'Your head's very dirty, sah 1' T. C?'Well, I know it is, and I want it dirty.' Harber?' Want it dirty ! Why,^rhat (ah V T. C?'Well, I'm a Oranger, ?od I want to have soil on my head !' The barbor ceased his importuning*, . and quivtly shaved his man.?P?ttburg Chronicle. A Rkpko.bate.?A person applying to the Judge of Probate for a letter of administration, walks up and raps. -The Judge bids him walk in, when the stranger inquires ? 'Docs tho Judge of Reprobate reside here V 'I nm the Judge of Probate, sir/ answered tne Judge. 'Ah ! all tho same, I supposo,' said the stranger. 'My father died detested, and left a number af fatherless scorpians, of which I am chief. As it is, and being the oldest infidel, the business naturally dissolves on me and if you will graut me a h'tter of condemnation, I will Bee you handsomely sacrificed A School Mibstress B^ajns a Pi ph..?'I ho Eldora (Iowa) fjcdg^r, of this week, says. 'Mr. Smith, mail ear rior between ?rundy Center aod; Union, brings tiding! of a fatal ease of punish tuout by a school teacher. His story ia that .ui Wednesday of last week, a m'IxmjI mistress in Fairfiold township undertook to eha.-tisc ono of. hor mipil.-<, a b-iy about fiftocu yoars of age., The I boy made a lierco rcsistuuoo, and the tide of eon diet began to sot in against tho female disciplinarian. Gathering a heavy chair which was near, she lifted it high o~cr In r head, and with * swoop itU "in aster ftroko' brought it down up on the Mevotcd head of the recalcitrant student, scttlipg his resistance and. his oarthly oxistonce at a single blow.' . IHIWI ? ???illll.I i - Truo politcuoss is good nature beauti fied aud refined by art. A bad habit to get into, a oftat ^hat pj not paid for. * . t .)j?>p Never strain at a gnat and theo swal Jo" ^alf a dojen, captla, '-.'ft Ijfc tW./i