Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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-XL a ? im ?*-u TWO DOLLARS PER ANNUM. V 1 ? 1 ' ? i VOLUME 6. i>?Lr; 'W.Ji.t;Sf:-: ???TO* ?3? ..'( GOI) A'iSTI} OTJH ? SATURDAY MORNING, MAY 18, 1872. _!?1-?.?...??,?, Ma M_?JKL..t ?-_:. __i^LLL { ALWAYS IN ADVA^bE NUMBER 14 ?;o:_ PCBL1SITED AT Every Saturday Morning. BY tub . <jRANGEBURG NEWS COMPANY TERMS OP SUBSCRIPTION. ?nt Copy for one year. $2.00 m ?? ?? Six Month?.~ 1.00 Any one sending TEN DOLLARS, for a tlnb of New Subscribers, will receive an 'EXTRA COPY for ONE YEAR, free of ftharge. Any one sending FIVE DOLLARS, iTer a Club of New Subscribers, will receive >n EXTRA COPY for SIX MONTHS, free of Charge. I ??? RATES OP ADVERTISING. 1 Square 1st Insertion. $1.50 ?? ? 2d . 1.00 A Square consist* of 10 lines Brevier or one iaoh sf Advertising space. Administrator's Notices. .......$5 00 Notices of Dismissal of Guardiana, Ad ministrators, Executors, &o.$9 00 Contrset Advertisements inserted upon the 0>t liberal terms. :o: I MARRIAGE and FUNERAL NOTICES, not exceeding oue Square, inserted without eh arge. P9r Terms Cash in Advance. ^Browning & Browning ATTORNEYS AT LAW, ^RAXC-EIIUKC* C. U? So. Ca; Malcolm I. Bmowxixa. A. P. Bmowkixa. W 4 ' * (Formerly ot tne New York Bar.)' .-&TTCK#KY AND COUNSELLOR At liAW, ... OUA\GS IBC IttJ, S?*C. ea?J^jl ) _IL TRIAL JUSTICE, taoBldenco In Fork of Ed lato, ALL HUMS ESS ENTBUSTED will be promptly and carefully attended to. july 2* ly DR. T. BERWICK LEG ARE, SURGEON DENTIST, adit ate Butliuiorc Coltefec t s?1i-1| Dental S.ir&ery. OFPICE MARKET-ST. OVER STORE OF J. A. HAMILTON, liter*,' METALLIC CASES. THE UNDERSIGNED HAS ON HAND *a,tl of the various Sixes of tho above Cases, 'which can be furnished immediately on ap plication. Also manufactures WOOD COFFINS as usual, and at the shortest notice. Apply to H. BIGGS; mar G?6iu Carriage Manufacturer. HEEDER & DAVIS, COTTON FACTORS and 'General Commission Merchants, A'hjrr'a What}. CHARLESTON, S. C. YJswxll Rkedcb. /.r.M.-iKKMAN Davis oct 15 fun T. F. Baouix. B. R. Hudoiks H. C. Hiidoins: BEODIE ?fc CO. COTTON FACTORS COMMISSION MERCHANTS, XORTU ATLAXftC WHARF, CHARESTON, S. C. Liberal Advances mude on Consignment. Rarxa to Androw Simotlds, Esq., Pres t 1st National Dank, Charleston, S. C. may 21 wso tf Washington ho?se BY Mrs. M. W. Stratton, consix tiKistAiS A ASSEMBLY STREETS ivjivmsiA, 8. tu Convenient to iM (Jrccn ville nml Chariest on r.ailroatls and (f/e ?nsiness portion of tho City. Bate of. Transient Board?Two L>oHxra per Day. Regular Boarders received at Rcaionablo Bitten. IQ ? tf MeiVs Wove. "Elle avail au bout de ?es manche?, Um pairt di m?hi? ei blariehf? t" Slips of n kid-skin deftly sewn; A scent as through her garden blown, The tender hue that olothes her dove?j All these, and this is Gerty's glove. .. ... l ? . ,-v- -i 1 ? tr, ?'? *t*Ici? j A gloVe but lately doft, for look? Ii keeps the happy shape it took ; Warm from her touch! What gave the glow T And whore's the mould that shaped it so T ' It clasped the hand) so pure,so sleek, Where Go?-ty rests a pensive check, The hand that when the light wind stirs Reproves those laughing looks of hers. You fingers four, you little thumb ! Were I but you ih days to com e I'd clasp, and kiss, and keep her?go! And t ell" ' jr I hat 1 told you so. The Free-Lore Brokers. A letter fron? New York to the Springfield Republican gives this sketch of the Woodhull Ci iflin firm at home: The counting-house of the lino ol female brokers is at No. 44 Broad Street, audoccupies the whole oflhegrouud floor, running back to the rear uf the building* It is a dark and gloomy phrco, and is made still mure so by the high black walnut, desks which fill roost uf the space, sufficient to accummodate twenty clerks, but occupied by a siuglo individ ual, who looks as solitary as thu last rose ot summer. Behind those desks is a second rouih, and .'divided from it by a glass partition is another bin Cr sat to tum. This last in occupied by Mrs Wdodhull iu person, while the intermed iate oue is used by her sister, Tun nie Cluftio, ami C?l. Blond. It m bUO a dingy nphttmeut, lighted only on one side by three wtudowx looking out on a comfortless and narrow yard, .shut iu by the high Walls ol adjoining buildings Two deei.s, a table, some chairs und a long sofa, were the only furniture to be seen ; a rather worn green carpet ttovcred the flour, while on the walls were bun two or three cheap pictures, oue a caricature representing the bulls and bears of Wall street being captured by the women brokers, while, strangest o.'" all, were ' j huge blue window shades, each bcurit.g a teat of Scripture cm blazon-'d iu large gilt letters At oue side a self acting telegraph instrument clicked uwuy in a monotonous mam. -t. und the whttle effect of the pi ice ou my suuacs was intensely depressing iu cuu trust to the bright April vilnlight out of doors. At one uf the desks, wheu I entered, was boated Col. Blood, au ordinary nppearirtg guutletuau, with l.uh-r tierce blfick moustaches, whose man ,,' however, quite belied his un common name. The reuowncd lehnte was near by, and wns recugnizAU at once. She is short aud thick set, and wore a dark blue walking suit, with u stiff ugly hut of a uonduscript character. Her features arc masculine, and bur move ments of the saute character. She walk ed heavily, aud lounged ubout on the edge of the table in a disagreeably free and easy mtfntfcr. It was evident at ouce that she was a course woman. **ul the earth, earthy,1 und her familiar, rowdy manners eould only inspire dis gust. She was nut doing anything in particular at the time, but merely luufing ubout, now idl) sMuniug thu stock quo laiious on tiie telegraph tape, or giving sudden directions to Col Blood to at tend 10 Ceriain bustnc*fl* mutters, or calling in shurp, grating tones for "Jimmy" to deliver sonic letters, when she bud herself jus', scut bun out of the office with a message. If this unrefined, aimless, whimsical being is a type of the coming woman, I said to myself, may the Millennium come soon. But I had not se'ftn till yet. Presently the door opened, aud two supercilious young English tut*u entered aud asked to see Tcunie. Their errand, us l! ay stated, was to get her picture, which they had seen iu some other pluce, but it was patent they hud simply come to gratify a vulgar curiosity. Tennio, bowevor. was blind to their object, or to tb-* coal as-.in of.: ton of their st ire- a.id re ill irks, but loudged on the side of the table and chatted with the yutiug eubs, one uf whom had the ruducsa to rftaVd with' his hut un and a cigar iu his mouth while talking to her. It made my brood boil to think tbut any woinao calling Wersch eapeetuble should be strbjeoted to, let alone endure,- suohitwo'llerableiniolen'ce. Tcunio, however, did not uuud it iu the least, but listened to thoir shallow flat tery with evident relish, while trying to induce (hem to hoy a set of berj pdb lished books and those of hor sister, first at $10, then $5, uoxt $4.00. and finally at the greatly reduced price of ql-50, while the youngsters, despite all her beguiling speech, ended by purchasing a too ceut picture, and weut off in evident glee. And this is the representative woman 1 Faugh! I vow I will become a Beuodick if I ever lay eyes on another like her ! I was glad when the door of tho inner office opened, and Mrs. Wood hull oame out and introduced horse IT to me in a graceful and refined uiauner, in marked contrast to that of her boister ous sister. She is somewhat taller and slenderer than Teuuie. Her hair is black und straight, and was dishevelled ah if from intense occupation, which prevented all present thought of her own self or looks. She wore a picturesque uud well tilting jacket, half open in front like a man's but her dress was neut, womanly und unostentatious. Her lace was stiiking, aud showed the re mains of much beauty. The eyes are largo but red, as if from protracted work by gas-light j the uoao firm and finely cut, und the mouth sweet and womanly It was the face of oue who hud felt much both of- joy aud puin, aud the index of a sensitive, spiritual nature. Sho spoke earnestly aud rapidly, explaining her p! in and urraugemcuts lor the future, without preteusiou, but with tbc eager tone of oue who was thoroughly absorb ed iu an idea. She has many invita tions, she said, to lecture, from all parts of tho couuiry, at the highest rate of compcusatiou, namely, from $250 to 85>?0. Sita has several present egage incuts of this kiud to fill, ami then in tends going to England to speak at St. James Hall, London, und other places, lier stay abroad will be short us she wants to b". here during the presidential campaign, In order totuko purtiu break. tiug up tl>o Kepuliicni party, to which she looks forward as a necessary work. Shu avowed frankly her entire depen dence on Spiritual influence fur guidance, uud -said thut she never did anything of importance without first having some manifestation of the kind. This seems to be the kcy-uote oi her character, and ? he impression 1 received from my brief interview was that Mrs. Woodhiill is what -Napoleon Used to call an ideologist, hut of a kind that would inspire sympa thy rather than strong dislike From my meeting with her und from the float ing facts which I have picked up from various sources, i have oo rcua >u to think any worse of her than this, und onarity demauds that, however we may oppose her opinions as expressed from the platform, we shull uot assail her per bou.il character without ample grounds Alter obtaining certain published d >eu UieutS which 1 wauled, containing speeches ol Mrs. Woodhull and her sis ter, I took my leave, feeling, as I gained the open air und sunlight, as if the phy sical contrast between the s reet aud the Woodhull hutiTjtum was only typical of the moral contrast between the views there preached aud those t'lUght by the rest of society. '1 here is little doubt but that the firm is d .iiuiugiu influence und reputation, and that, like' ffjtf im uiottul i'isk, they will soon have "gone where the woodbine twineth." They have made few proselytes here, and uot much ol u sensation outside the Hewjusss-j *", 1 L.;'w nOiii thai knew them so little will not miss them long uor mourn their ubscuce much. A curious pcrsouul item comes to us in tin English paper relative to the late Professor Maurice; "In early life he wrote a novel eulled 'Eustace Couwuy; or, Brother aud Sister.' He sold the novel to the late Mr. Lent ley some where about the year 1830; but the txciieuient caused by tho Keform bill being unfa vorable to light literature, Mr. Beut ley did uot issue it till 1834, wheu ho had quite lost sight of its author, theo u curute iu N\ urwickshiro. The villain ol the novel was v aptaiu Marryatj uud Mr Maurice, who first learned ol til > publi cation of his book l?oin a review iu our o din us (A/AeJMBMiH, No. 335, p. 230j, tisd .-Oon the pleasure ot receiving u ehulleoge frou? tho cerebrated Captain Murryut. (Jreut was tho latter'a uatou ishment ou learuiug tli.it the anonymous author of 'Eustace Couway' hud uever hcurd of the biogrupiier oi Peter Simple, aud, oeiug iu holy orders, was obliged to douliuu to indulge iu a duel." Tho' Prussian ueedlo guu is to be bu norsode'd by a more effeotivo woaoou Tho Lute J&iijumiu Franklin. [Never put'olfr UH to-morrblr what you ca? do the day after Jo-morrow Juat aa welL?; Tbi/S ,party was one of jfcboso persons whom they call philosophers. Be was born twins, being born simultaneously in two different houses in th^ City of Bos ton. These, houses remain unto this day, and have signs upon them worded in accordance with the facts. The signs are considered well enough to have, though not necessary, because the in habitants point out the tv.-d birthplaces to tho stranger any bow, and sometimes as often us several times iu the same day The subject of this memoir was of a vicious disposition, and early prostitu ted his talents to the invention of max ims and aphorism! calculated to inflict suffering upon the risitig generation of all subsequent ages. Ilia simplest acts also, were contrived with si view to their being held up for tho emulation of boys forcver-^-boys who might otherwise have been happy. It was An this spirit that he became the son of a 6oap-hoiler, and, probably, for no other reason than that ihc efforts of all future boys who tried to be ans thing might be looked upon with suspicion unless they were the sons of soap-boilers. With a malev olence which is without parallel in his tory, ho would work all day, und theu sit up nights, aud let ou to be studying algebra by the light of a Smouldering fire so that all the boys might have to do that also, or else have Benjamin Frank lin thrown upon them. Mot satisfied with these proceedings, he had a fashion oi living wholly on bread und wuctr, uud studying astronomy at meal-time?a thing which has brought affliction to millions of boys siuce, whose fathers had read Franklin's pernicious biography. His maxims were lull of animosity toward boys. Nowadays a boy cannm follow out u single uuturMS^-stiuct with- j "out tuml ling oVer"*?Tiut^^rihiiKC wer?| lasting aphorisms, and hearing from Franklin on the spot. If he buys two cents' worth of peo-UUtS, bis father says, uRemember what Frankliu has said, my sou?'A groat a day is a penny a year;'" I and the comfort is all gone out of those pea-nuts. If he wants to sptb his top when he is done work, his lather quotes, i "Procrastination is the chief of time." j If he does a virtuous action, he never gets spy thing tor it, because "virtue is its own reward." And that boy is hounded to death, aud robbed of his natural rest, becauso Frank l'u said once ! iu one of his inspired flights of malig nity? ?1'itrlv t:> bed and curly to rise, Make n rr>nn benlthy, wealthy and wise." As it it were any object to u .buy to be healthy, and wealthy, and wiso, on such terms The sorrow that that maxim has co.>t me, through my parents experiment ing me with it, tongue can not tell. Tho legitimate result is my present state of general debility, indigence, und mental aberration. My parents used to have me up before niue o'clock in the morn ing, sometimes, when I was a boy. If they had let me take wy Natural rest, where would 1 have been now i Keep ing store, no doubt, uud respected by all. And wl/at a A adroit old adventurer the subject of this memoir was ! In or der tt) get a chance to fly his kite on j .-v-.mray, tie useu "to hang a key on the j string, and let on to be fishing by light liiftg, nftd ti guileless public would go home chirping about the '-wisdom" and the "go iius" of tho hoary Sabbuth* breaker. He invented *i stove that would smoke your head off in five hours J by the clock. * * * He was ul Ways j proud of telling how he entered Philu delphia for the first time with nothing ' iu the world but two shilling.', in his podket aud fonr rolls of bread under his arm. But really, when you come to eximino it critically, it was nothing Any body could have done it. * * * Benjamin Franklin did a g at many notable thing.* for his country, ind made her young namu to bo houored in ma ay lauds um the mother of such a sou. It is not the idea of this porefnoir to ignore that or cover it up. No; the simple idea of it is to snub those pretentious ] maxima oi' ins, which he worked up | with a grout show of originality out 01 j truisms that had become wearisome ' plain tides us early as che dispcrsiou from Habel, uud also to snub his s'oro and his militury inspirutious, his nuseemly endeavor to make himself conspicuous when he entered Philadelphia, aud his flyiuo kite, and fooling nwaj hi;, time iu all sorts of such ways, when he ought to have been foraging f?r soap-fat or eon structing candles. I merely desired to do away with somewhat o,f 'ho prevalent calamitous idea among heads of families that Franklin acquired his great genius by working for nothing, studs ing by moonlight, and getting up in the night instead of waiting until moruiug like a Christian, and that this programme, rigidly inflicted, tvi!! make a Franklin of every father's fool. It is time these geutlemcu were finding out that these execrable eccentricities of instinct aud conduct are otily the evidences of genius, not the creators of it. I wish I had been the father of ray parents loog enough to make them comprehend this truth, and thus prepare them to let their sou have an easier time of it. When I was a child I had to boil soap, notwithstand ing my father was wealthy, and I had to get up early and study geometry at breakfast, aud peddle my own poetry, and do every thiug just as Frankliu did, in the solemn hope that I Would be a Franklin some day. Aud here I am.? Mark Twain. The Colored Citizens. The Convention of colored citizens at New Orleans vflas a significant assembly, and, immediately followed as it was by the celebratiou in Washington of the tenth anniversary of emancipation in the District of Columbia, furnishes the means of ascertaining the political tendencies of the new citizens. The New Orleans platform very plainly ex presses the conviction that ''as all toads out of the Republican party lead into the Democratic1 camp, we pledge our unswerving devotion to support the nominee of the Philadelphia Conven tion " It also contains an exuberant and glowing tributo to tbe service of .Senator Stunner, and of gratitude to President, Grant ami to Vice-President CoUVtx. I'uddo thia dechmtiou of.', on tinned fidelity to the Republican party and its Administration and leaders, t'uero is also a solemn appeal to the country iu favor of the Civil Rights bill, which eiuiply removes the lust lingering inequality before the law. Social rela tions must scttlu themselves. They arc not the creation of law. But there can be no cxeusc for the abuses to which these equal citizens arc subject. The members of the Convention pro nounced agaiust all who voted lor the defeat of tho Civil Rights bill, uud pledged their efforts to elect successori? more favorable to equulif-y. Hut while they declared their unshaken fidelity to the Republican parly, they did net insist upon tha incorporation of civil rights in the platform at Philadelphia as the con ditiou of their support. This was wisely done) for while there will un doubtedly be a strong feeling in tho Convention favorable to iuolu ling the substtnee of the bill iu the platform, the proposition may fail, und it would be very foolish for that reason to do any thing for the advantage of the hereditary enemies of till the rights of the colored race. Indeed, it is a mistake to make the ftipport of a pnrty which is prefer able opou all general grounds depend upon its adoption of a singlo measure, and ail the innre when that measure is one which tho party is sure presently to sustain. Mr. Ffndsiriijle PonsJss.h verv truly said in his speech that the colored citizens owed rheir gratitude to the nation, not, to the Slates ; and that the Cincinnati movement should be suspec ted because its force must be derived from those who, under the plea of Slate rights, had bo long degraded his race. The day after the Now Orleans plat form was adopted was a holiday in the District of Columbia. The sun shone brightly, und about noon tho procession passed be!ore the vYh'fre House. It was a marvelous spectacle. Tho city was Washington, which, twelve years ago, iu that .-.urn- White House, Democratic eoupirutors in possession-of the govern ment wore plotting to make the capital uf a Have empire. And now, amidst inspiring peals of patriotic music, baud following t. I. inarchod long columns uf the late outdared rnoo, trained soldiers of the most, manly bearing* and the President of the L'uitcd States?the great captain in tho war which gavo them their manhood aud the uatiou its salvation?stood, surrouudod by his cub met, and modestly saluted them as they passed by. It was all festival aud joy. 13ut uiuo years ago, at Wagner, at Fort Pillow, aud iu bow many uuknowu spots aud uulold WiiySj the i.'imc race were bravely charging a?d dying, or faithfully guiding nud concealing their friends, helpiog the quiet man before whom their brethren were now gayly marching to win his groat victory. It was a spectacle never to be forgotten. No man.who saw it, and who had taken auy part in the political movements whioh restored their long-lost manhood to a race, bat must have resolv cd anew not tu rest until the great political organiza tion which proposed to rob them of that manhood forever was as effectually vanquished and dispersed as the armies of tho rebellion. Later iu tbe day an immense crowd was addressed by Mr. Elliott, a oolored Representative in Congress from South Carolina. Tbe poetio justice was com plete. Mr. Elliott responded to the words and to the convictions of Mr. Douglass at New Orleaus : "If the Republican party goes down, freedom goes down with it. Rut it will not go down, for it stands to-day tri urn ph.ant, with a vast majority in uearly all the States, and with an uubroken front. Though personal dissensious may arise and widcti our rauks temporarily, they will close up when tbe long roll of bat tic is sounded, and we will all march together (o victory." It is the well-grounded faith of the eolroed citizens that their friends are of the Republican party, and they may count upon tho steady effort of those friends to sccuro the absolute equality of all citizens before the law.?Harper'* Weekly. May IDA. Humors of tub Day.?Ariemus Ward in oue of his letters thus gives his ideas of reorganisation : ."I never attempted to reorganize my wife but oucc. I shall never attempt to do it again. I'd been to a public dinner, and had allowed myself to be betrayed into driukiti' to several peoplo's healths; and wishin' to make 'em robust us possible, I continued driukin' their health uutil my own was affected. Cou ckencc was, I ptckntad roysatf tu B^tsy'a bedsidu late at night with considerable liquor concealed about my person. I hud some how got possession of a boss whip on my way, and rcmemberiu' some cranky obacrvutiou of Mrs. Ward's in the morn iu' I suapped the whip putty lively and iu a very loud voico I said: 'Betsy, you need orgauiziu.' 'I have earoo, Betsy,' I contittucd, craekiu' tho whip over tho bed?'I have come to reorgan ize you., I dreamed that night that somebody laid u hosswhip across mc several times, uud wheu I woke up I round bhe had. I hain't drunk much of any thing since; and if 1 have another rcorguuiziu' job bu hand I shall let it out." ???> ? - ???? ? ? Robert B. Elliott, the oolored member of Congress from South Carolina, was born in Massachusetts and educated in England. In 1S33 ho entered High Holborn Academy, iu London, where he prepared for Etou Ooll -ge, which * he entered in 1S33; and graduated iu 1859. He afterward studied law, and practices his profession. He was a member of the State Constitutional Convention in lSt>8, a member of tho Legislature of that State from 1868 to 1870, and As sistant Adjutant-Ooucral uutil elected to the present Congress. He is a readj speaker, und has uoue of tho accent pe culiar to his race. He has ma do a for tune within the past few years, Jives in considerable style, drives u fine span of horses, and spends his money freely.? Harper's Weekly. What Makks Mitft??It is not the host things?that is, the things which wc call best?that make men; it re not tho pleasant things; it is not the calm experience of life; it is life's- ruggod ox pericuces, its tempests, itrf trials. The discipliue of lifo is here good aud thore evil, here trouble aud thcro ^oy, here rudeness aud thcro cvenucss, ouo work ing with the other; and the alternations of the. uns and the ether which necessi tato adaptations constitute that part of the education which makes a mau, iu distinction from uu animal, which has no edueatiou. The successful mau iuva riubly bears ?ho mark of tho struggles which he has had to undergo on hiB brow. . ?M?S" I ??i ' The Norwich Bulletin tells of a man who went gunning with a bhovel Thuis day night, and in one burrow found six young foxes, bix woodchuoks, a lamb, a rooster, a partridge, a skunk, a suakc, a rabbit aud a muskrat. All but the foxes woro partially catao. "Lono Mat it Wav^-Vt^ jo?*? mpjthe^.waa),*u/the habit, of /tiring the [be^'s9b*b&#t;tha,wta*>P*mTH? band didn't like it. arid believing that if ?he saw her practica as others #?w* it, She would desist, he to directed their af ternoon walk aa to bring the- nursery window into full view froia; the central part of the town. Stopping .abruptly, he pointed to the o&ddin?lLn^Jh??rfsg unconsciously in the breeze, ana asked, sarcastically: l?fa? '?My dear, what isthat displayed id our window f" ? a "Why," she replied, "that is *he Hag of our union." Conquored by this pungent retprt, ha saluted the flag by a swing of his hat, and pressing his wife's arts closer with his own, said, as they walked homewsrd: "Aud long may it wave." 1 ,am mm i 1 ' . ! A sudden gust of wind took a parasol from the hand of its owner, and a lively Irishman, dropping his hod of brick^ caught the parachute. "Faith, ma'am/' said he, "if you wars' as strong as you are handsome it would not have got awsy frond you." "Which shall I thank you fat first, the service or the compliment?" asked the lady, smilingly. "Troth, ma'am," said Pat, again toaca* ing the place where originally. Stood the brim of what was once a beajjty^"that look of your beautiful eye thanked me for fcoth." in? -~ mimiXiTCTy.M^? * A Misplaced SwiTi?H^r-^M the passengers were preparing to leavs their seats, on the arrival of the. Now* York train in Boston the other, e^ejupog, so old gentleman pioked up a dark object which appeared to have dropped from a lady's bonnet. tJ ^njqtv* 'Madam, is this yours ? You.appear to have dropped it by accident." ' Thank you, sir" (placing her hand to her head)?"a railroad acciieat?a misplaced sicilclt." . .... - - mm-?-??hi A charming young lady at fire Hd mfe'opathfc Ferir last night was fcfyirig to induce a married gentleman, acc?mpa nied by his wife, to take ,a .fty|a|& hi * 86?0 diamond eross. "DaUkeftjfMitot, dear!" asked his wife in a plaiutivo voice. "Pshaw! you are cross enough for die, Mirauder," Said the canuibal husband, who afterwards took his wife 119010, hot returned alone to flirt with a pretty young lady.?=Xiew York Covimcrciaij^vertiter': -m ?- -1 - A useful thing in thee long run?! Breath. Mexican Generals" drop off at the rat? of thirty a mouth. Tho Chicago Post says: "Wc?re like' ly to have an early oring. The bark ed the north side of l_c dog hs tbidner thad usdal." Lazy California fcfar-tenders plaeo the ingredients of a cobbler in a' tumbler, aud then wart for as earthquake to arix them dp. ? ..; w* il ?'Buy your vaccine virus Ifere^* Baft an apothecary window in New" York, "our calf is a great deal stoker than thai of auy other establishment." '** It is said that "two of Darwin's Sons have boon on a visit to the laird df mon keys Tho monkeys were half tickled to death at seeing them, and asked kind ly after father." Tho uamo of "A. Kahn," as "sj dosi er io oak, pine, and other timber," fat New York, suggests the familiar line that "Great oaks from little A. Kalma grow." Mr. Warner says that he' lately heard a thin, dyspeptic mad, discoursing oat the government of children, sdm up bit remarks with "punish'Cm in rovo!"itf such a tone that it sounded like "shoot 'cm ou the spot'." Throe cities lay claim to Cfeo distin guished Itouor of being the rsaajSetfce of the man who fou'ud $7,000 while digging iu his cellar. Baltimore varies the tale' by saying he was digging for Iwesv radV Said a Dotroit lady to1 a gentiMlan of that city: " Yod are not a swust?an, I bolieto." "No," said he; "if I ssoro tho proprietor ot st band-organ, settasprcsxly to play 'Old fluradTed,' 1 ootrhfefc geh seventy-five out: ?f it. au ("It's no' matter irW feto tftay say when you talk, to yourself; but, when you talk to otbcf people, yburv&iuoss is to use words with rotcrcrrcV 10 fh* way iu which iboic other poopru aYc liko tu' uuderstaud them/'^-r?s" /tef "of the Brtvhfmt IViMf,