The Orangeburg news. (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, April 27, 1872, Image 3
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SATURDAY MORNING, APRIL 27, 1872.
-| ALWAT8 X'S
The oeangee up ^ new
?:o:?
V*Io Krory Satnrtlay Jlominjr.
by ttif.
<*HANOEBURG NEWS COUPWY
cam? >uli t ?
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Browning & Browning,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
*KAMttEltuitCJ II., So. i n.
JIalcoi.m I. Browning.
A. F. Drowning.
"Rev 4
Xtoustusb^kwwlton
(Formerly <?t uu New York Dar.)
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR
AT LAW,
?iiANc-E:?r 5tc;, s. c,
.4M?i* _ ?L
Hi. A\r. IMLI^Y
TRIAL JUSTICE,
Rettidruce la I'os h of KdlHto,
* ALL BUSINESS ENTltCSTED vlll be
>pr*Mptlr ?ad earofully attended to.
jwdy It ly
' %K f. berwick legare,
SURGEON DENTIST,
djiradntttc Baltimore College*
l>cnlul Snrjcery.
OFFICE MARKET-ST. OY Bit STORK OF
? ' ' -h. A. HAMILTON,
? metallic cases.
8f
THE UNDERSIONED HAS ON HANI)
. 'ell of the various Sites of tbc abnre fuses,
which, can be furnished immediately on op
plication.
Alse msnufacturoB WOOD COFFINS as
oiuel, and at the shortest uoticc.
Apply to 11. RIGOS,
mar 6?6m Carriuge Manufacturer.
?TKii COTTON FACTORS
woor*l
and
General CommMon Merchant.^
" " '? a i . en
\ _ CHARLESTON s. 0.
f 'OswatL HiEi.ru. Ziumkuman Davis
i aet 15 Gib
f^ -^Jh BaoniE. U. R. HuAuin*
I n. C. Hluuins.
BRODIE <& GO.
COTTON FACTORS
Aan
COM MISSION M k lie IIA NTS.
NORTH ATLAXTIC WUAllF,
OIIARESTON. 8. C.
.Liberal Advaucus made uu Consignment.
f^WAsWto. Andrew Simonds, Esq., Pres i
1st Nui/oual Bank, Charleston, t. C.
way 21 wee tf
WASHINGTON HOUSE
frfI/ jatw. M. W. Strattdii,
roa>ra
hRRYAiS A ASSKMHLY STREET.*
lULl'MUlA 8; C
^Jeaeenlerit to the Greenville and Charleston
> Railroad*, and iKc r.;;<-ih<- .. portion of
. . iUaC?j. R?lo df Transient
,. , ? - hi%t%rM
lUfuief' iioofdtfs foceived if1 Rrs-sohablo
f ? ? ?
?*0 10
Tender and True.
He stole from Us nest in my golden boir
A krtut of riband blue;
He placed on my hand a jewel rare,
And whieppred boD, as ho held it there?
Tender aad true?adieu, adieu !
Tin- mim ond wns bending with biossome white,
The roses blushed through the dcW ;
The violet ?nulcd in the plowing light.
And life wng hnppy. and hope wan bright,
Temler and true- adieu, adieu 1
They brought my soldier home to me,
And my knot of riband blue ;
Hut the cruel wound on the brow waa hid
fiy the flng dropped over the cofan lid.
Tender and true1?adieu, adieu I
Tin- nhnnhd BoWerS in the brceie* ahnke,
The roses still blush through the dew;
Bui the cpring time of hope willilover awnke,
And tbi lone, lone heart will wail till it brenk.
Tender mid true?adieu, adieu!
An Affair of Honor.
A wrier in the Ciifttrr It as stilted
tbut with their new bchirred j ifkets
their vermilion kepis, tint! their red
trousers, I In* Viffieer'a of the PWnch siafl
rvKemblu Ihn Soudan goi-ne. a red-legged
bird, with a ruff and u criiiisuu bill
('apt Sp-idtiSti?, uf the staff, litis taken
uffeuce ut this comparison, und M Tar
tine, who, loving the army, won hi at
any other moment have tendered an
apology* liar from the dimple fact of
filling the editorial chair for a d.iy, und
being out of temper during his t mire :
uf office, indorsed bis brother journalist's '
libel, and declared himself personally j
responsible. Accordingly Capt. Spud..s$e I
and M. Tartine, are going to ny und
run each other through with foils at j
halt-past eight o'clock in the morning in
the Wood of VinceuncS. This is what J
in civilized ecu Ulrica is termed ''au ;
; fLir uj honor." j
M. Tarttue's two friends are MM.
l'lutueau and de Linen, both of the J
Ciyure; Capt. Spaduxse'fj Lieut. *le
Pierrufeu aud Viscount da Caracul?,
both of tho stuff, ('opt. Spadaase being
the insulted partj has had the choice of
mcapons, and has selected foils, because
he ia u pood fencer; M. 'I'artiiic. who is
also a good fencer, as every Parisian
journalist need be, is rejoiced at this
selection. The prospect of the duel has
caused some excitement at the Oigarc
office, not because the duel is any thing
new to that most respected organ, but
because a delicate question bun uriseti
which the editor alone Was quite compe
tent to solve, aud has solved. The ques
tion was ihis: Considering that the
paragraph about the Soudan goose was
uot written by M. Tartine, but by M.
Hector Soiipeaulait, aged twenty-two,
had A. Tartine any right to take the
glorious consequences of it on bis own
shoulders? M. Soupeauluit contends
no He has never yet fought a duel,
and this brush with an officer of the staff
is just I ho opportunity he had long been
awaiting of ^ctlitip into public notice
lie thinks himtelf ill-used M. Tartine.
on the other band, urines that the para
graph having been signed with a nom
tic plume s and not wilh M. SonpoHulait's
real name, the responsibility ot \\ rVfeted
with ?be acting editor j and that, further,
the duel having n-snlted much less from
the paragraph' itself than from the tone
adopted by M. Turtiue in uusweriug M.
Spudusso'u expostulations, i: is enques
ti uubly Ui.o.i him that the hotn.r f the
| meeting deVOltes. '1 he editor, viewiv?
iiiu cuse with uti equal eye, has admitted
M. '1 art im-3 thiiu.it lo be round, and on
alt c?iBM!a DoiwUtted the plaintiff. Thw
has beeil u grcul griel to .M. So?pcaulait.
i icparat. ry to a duel it is the usual
lusiom oi the coiiittutants to spend a
>i w hours with their respective fencing'
.i.asters ; At Turtiue has not disdained
the practice, urn), though an old baud in
ihm sort ol business, he has listeued
vvita his wonted deference to the Couu
sei? about keeping one's eye steady, oueV
wriat til in, and one's body wwll thrown
I b.icW. "jNow, theU| lunge ?'' roan* out
I tlie fencing-umster, und M. Turtiue
lunges. "Yes; that's it, but make rather
j le>s play with your elbow ; tho mistake
I about civilians U that they doli t believe
i enough in the wrist, and the wr.si s
every thing," says the V. M. ".Now,
thou, lunge again;" aud this time .'<)
lurtlnc makes Pitch a Scientific tbrusi
that his foil bfebda like a half circle, and
looks us it it were- going to snap. "Good!
erieS the master, "but rather too good ;
it that thrust were purrtod you'd be off
your balance ami not able to cover in
time: Seel" aud quick as a flush M
TariiuV? foil hi clicked a^idc, nnd be
fore he cnu break he is spotted just
where the rijjit lung works. He latighs.
"If my antagonist were as prompt no
you, I should make my will to-night."
'?The Staff ire always good swor Ismen,"
answers the F. M. "They have nothing
eise to do. This is how I class the aim;:
Stuft", inlantry, light cavalry, engiuoers,
heavy cavalry, artillery. Your Capt.
Spudasse is a tough man* I kuuw him;
but never mind that, keep your eye to
the trout, and I auswer for you." With
this blessing M. Tartiun takes off his
musk, while the fencing-master wraps
up in buize a pair of deft-looking weap
ons, which he kindly loaes out to his
pupils on occasions like the present, and
which, Kaya he, have doue a pretty
amount of bleeding in their day M.
Tartinc knows them for old friends, nod
coiiaigiiH them to MM l'lumenu and
de Linea. Then he drerree, strolls home
with his (rtends, lingering juH lodg
enough ou the tray to tuke u glass of
vormouth, und once homo in fur" sitting
d? wu ttttd wri ing his next day's chroni
i|U'e, but that his friend protest with
energy mid indignation, forcing him to
go tu bed on the spot, and exacting the
most (solemn pledge that ho will not get
up again when they arc gone. M. Tar
tine reluctantly promises, and with eyes |
fixed on the fireplace, where tbc embers
df u fire of beech logs are dying oUt,
soon after falls into slumber and sleeps
the sleep of the just.
The wiuter morning is breaking gray -
ly over Pulls, when the t?vo triends re-:
appear on the morrow with a roomy cib j
attd a surgeon. The surgeon is the
damping feature of these opisodes. He
scans you, appears tD weigh mentally
how much blood there is in your veins,
and icveals by the bulgineas of his coat
tails that he has brought no instrument
ease with him. Then in shaking hands
aothing can prevent his extending his '
forefinger so as to touch your pulse and i
in a voice that sounds knell like, though I
it is meant to be encouraging, he sayH, i
"You'll do." There is a controversy
among doctors as to the best thing to
diiilk I efore starting; some say black
coffee, othei.* brandy and water, others :
nothing at all. M. Tartine's surgeon J
suggests coffee for the patient?that is i
the combatant?and the other mixture
for the rest of the company ; also smoke
f r everybody except .M. Tartinc, who is
best without it. So while M. Tartino
drcfr>c8, M. IMuincau makes coffee with
a spirit-of-wino lamp, M. Linea mixes
one third of pale Cognac, to two thirds
of aq pur.f and the 'urgooii helps him
self to trabueut. All thia is done quick
ly though for the Wood ol Vincuoucs is
Kate's own distance away, and there is a
very pardonable wish on the part of the
whole circle to be firnt on the ground.
M. Tartine is sum dressed; and the sur
geon takes this opportunity of drawing
M Plumcnu aside and asking whether
a little sal-volstile would not be?but
the look M. 1 Mumeu u easts him is bo
laden with strong protest on behalf of
his friend-, that the surgeon mumbles an
??I beg pardon," and concludes that rc
ctrlcdly this M Tartinc is oot u man to
be apprehensive about. In a few more
minutes everything is ready, the coffee
is sipped, and lite brandy nud Water
gulped; M. Tartine obtains, after a
little pleading, permission to light a
cigar like the rest, on the ground that
it is iuvnriable custom so to do ; and
then, walkiug on tiptoe so ntt to* wake as
-;rr possible of the other lotigerS, the
whole party stalks, stealthy and clond
e n com pass* d, down the stairs. U course
the cabman sees ut a {.'lance on what
sort of errand he is going; and his fea
tures break into a smile, for he likes
i)t)s MoU of fare, well knowing that,
whichever Way the chance turns, hia
day's receipts will be the bettor tor it,
duellists being generous for good luek.
Two nags compose his team, und he
whips them into a race trot. The early
baker, with basket Oil his back and yards
of bread tapering out like the masts ol
a ship, turns round ou the pavement to
look ; the milk-woman in her donkey
curt, with bright tin pnils mound her.
,:ets b'lHtiiy out id'the way, and clamors
remonstrances; a pair of night police
men watting at a struct corner to be
relioved notice the baise oovoring of the
foils held fishing rod wise between M.
IMumeuu's knees, wink to o?'.*.'h other
and smile ? und a ragman, who hart seen
more than one trip such -is this since he
hus plied bin smrtll-hotsr avocations iti
Paris, waves his crook us though to say,
"I know-what you're nbetot, utesaiuurs
but it's tame sport at the bust." Five
'and twenty minutes after starting On
v
Hastille is reached; in another ten
uiinutes the Faubourg St. Autoiue,
metropolis of cabinet makers, is cleared ;
und, breasting with undiminiahed vigor
the once magnificent but (since the
siege) half denuded Avenue do Vin
ceunes, the two cab horses make tho
best of their way toward the donjon
keep, which has pcrved as a Stute prison
in former times, and will no doubt do so
again, an it please Heaven. During
this while the conversation inside the
cab has turned on the weather, Which is
fine, ou the springs of the cab,?which
arc less so,?aud on the paragraph.
cause of the impending strife. M. Tar
tine declares that he regrets this para
graph as much as any man. ami shall
certainly as soon as ever the duel is
over say so. "Why not Bay it before
the duel?'' asks the surgeon. Hut to
this M. Tartine replies at once with great
energy, "Never!" thus proclaiming his
adherence to those time hallowed prin
ciples of honor which permit a man to
declaro himnelf in the wrong once he
has run his adversary through the body,
but on no account before that M. Tar
tine is ?tili dilating ou this subject when
the cab begins to slacken speed ; then it
turns, and finally stops at the place
agreed upon?a sequestered nook of
wood, which really for cutting a man's
throat, or haviurj one's own cut, is as
pleasant a locality as used be. The
literary paity have preceded the military
by just four minutes; but the olhccrs
are in excellent time so far an the ap
pointment is concern, d, So ?nobody has
any reason to blush. Capt. Spadasse is
in plain clothes, so is L cut.dc Pierrufeu,
but, Viscount de Caracole, being ou duty
that day with his chief, is in uniform,
and, forsooth, instead of resembling a
Soudan goose, he looks in his fmggod
jacket ami gold aiglets a very smart
young r.eutleimuJ. A military surgeon
who Dceompani'JS the officers is also in 1
uniform, aud wears spectacles. There is !
some ceremonious bowing alt round, and
then for form's sake tlr"*ar*fjjr secoudu
advance and confer, with every appear
ance ol gravity, as to whether a recoil
cili.ition is not possible ; during this
colloquy the military surgeon, a man of
method, opens his iustrumcnt-caso ami
lays it on the grass. Of course a recon
ciliation is not possible. Capt. Spadasse
cr.uld over look the goose allusion, but
there bus been an article in the Cigare
headed "PrfCrOrhv'hnn," which is most
offensive to the whole service, and blood
shed is absolutely necessary. Capt.
Spadasse has even stripped himself of
his coat and waistcoat while i?i* seconds
are conferring ; Beei.ig which, M. Tar
tine immediately follows suit, und also
casts off bis boo's because of the slippery
turf. Another minute, nnd the comba
tants are face to face; then nothing re
mains but to feel under their shirts to
see that they wear no breast plates (a
humiliating formality, but customary.)
aud to hand them each a foil, which
formalities being accomplished, there is
u moment's pause, ami the two cabmen,
who nre looking on tit tie scene from
their boxes, uppcar lor the fir*t time to
feel uncomfortable. Not so, however,
the seconds. Whether it be that urnrtic
murder h ... less letters f'->f Ilium, or that
they intuitively feel that there is nothing
very terrible going to happen, they all
maintain a countenance ol philosophical
placidity?and, to tell the truth, when
tho wfril j- l' :- und i!iu principals
C'iga"ge, the indifference of these abettors
becomes to a Certain extent justified.
Capt. Spadasse, who has his plans for
this winter's amusement, has no wish to
be placed under arrest for a month for
slaying M. Tartine. and this preoccupa
tion reveals itself in his studied care to
keepojguurd instead of attacking. On his
side .M. Tartine would rather loam i whole
page of the Journal (>?ici>l by heart ?
no painless labor ? than do serious
harm to Capt. Spadasse, and his chief
aim is only to give such a thrust as bhall
rip open two im?' *sof bis enemy's shirt
sleeve, wi h perhaps half all inch of skin
beyond it. Animated by these mutually
considerate thoughts, the two fighters
made a defensive show of it. They feint,
recover, clink break, and in a general
stay try to look us if they meant busi
ness to any extent ? without accom
plishing it. The only objection to this
form of duelling it this ; if the feinting
I lasts too lung, und both swordsmen dis
I cover each other's strength, they are apt
tj get excited, and to maLe a vanity
question as to who shall draw the first
' bleed; so that many a duel which has
' begun with most benevolent drsposi
1 tions on ciflior aide bar ended abruptly
with the thud of a sword-hilt against
the fifth rib, and a panic-stricken de
mand for a hurdle* to carry homo the
dead body upon. Happily, in M. Tar
tine's case, however, all such gloomy
climax is avoided. At the fifth or sixth
puss, the captain, growing tired of it,
attacks; M. Tartinc parries ; the cap
tain stamps his foot and tries agalti ; M.
Tartinc responds ;*but somehow the
swords in the medley become entangled
and both thrUst together ? with this
result, that the captain's shirt-sleeve gels
ripped open as if with a pair of scissors,
und M. Tnrtiue loses a piece of bis own
shirt-frout just near the collar-bone.
This is enough fur all the exigencies of
the case. The four seconds busily in
terfere to staunch the blood. Each man
has a wouud the teuth of au inch deep
and about three inches loug, something
like a good pin scratch. The surgeous
hurry to the fore with lint aud collodion;
and it is unanimously declared that the
honor of all concerned is satisfied.
An hour later the whole party arc
breakfasting together like gallant rivals
iti the chief hotel of Vinccnncs.*
"Aud now will you tell me," laughs
Cnpt. f'padasse, as he helps M. Tarti.ic
to Chablis, "why you all us Praeto
rians V
"Hah !" smiles M. Tartinc. "the arti
cle wasn't mine, and I don't know whose
it was. When 1 read it in priut I j
thought I was dreaming."
"Dreaming about the Soudan." inter- j
poses M. do Caracole, laughing in his ^
turn, aud he instantly adds. -'Wo will
use our small influence with the goveru- I
er to get the interdict on the Ciyirc ;
repealed." I
"I never doubted the generosity of j
ihe army," says M. Tarttue, bovring.
"Nor we the loyalty of the press," |
answers ('apt. Spndtwse, rcturuing the
bow.
i "Perhaps it would have been as logi
I cal if nil these explanations bad tak :u
place yesterday instead of to day," cuts
iu tho civilian surgeon onec again, with
a shrug.
"Pardon me. dear eolleagOe," rejoins !
the military one politely,- "tho laws of
honor are not thingR to be lightly set
! aside."?Hid J/.t// Gazette.
A Palace for* Horse??
Every detail exhibited (he most per
fect adaptation and taste. Truly u palace
would be a more appropriate name for
so perfect und expensive a stable. Five
large stalls on each aide of a wide alle)';
I the divisions are about six feet high,
with an iron railing extending around
}he top, completely isolating each occu
pant from the others, as we'll as ffOrtn
the gaze of visitors. As the door is
open to admit doe Elliot to his stall, 1
notice there is no manger; the hay is
eaten from the 11 >or. In one corner is
an iron receptacle tor feeding grain. It
is low. very simple, and convenient, j
The nearer nature is imitated the better.
That I knew and often advised. There |
is more economy and*less trouble to feed
from a manger than from a rack, yet in
nineteen out of twenty stables through
the country, the manger will be found
so high and extending so far out over
I the head that a horse of ordinary size I
I must reach up to eat his hay. and iu so
doing sifts the seed and dust from it
upon bis head and eyes. Nature has
i o - ? itgm -[ the horso to eat his food from
1 *)t? gtotlud, else the pasturage would be
1 raised to a level with his head. The
j proper exercise of the muscles of the
! lorelegs and shouidors requires this, ami
j a neglect of it is often the ouuse of weak
j knees. While Imking at the floor, Mr
Bonner uuticip'ated trry inquiry, by say
ing: "The floor is made up by a series of
slats, with spaces between large enough
to allow the passage ol Water. Beneath
there is a water-tight floor, with a pitch
of two inches ou ouo aido for drainage,
with the false flooring just that much
thicler and highttr on that side."' The
i extra flooring is sw constructed ia two
i sections that it "?n be raised from the
, centre both ways, and placed on edge
when removing the accumulation ol
objeCtiovable mutter boaeath. At this
time my atteiiltOB) WaS Called to the
I uecupnuts of strAve of th"e other stalls.
??IIcfc," surd Homier," is Princess, Flora
j Temple'* greatest competitor. When 1
bought her, u short thue ago, und placed
her under my treatment, she moved hku
u foundered horse. This 1 knew was
the efieot of contraction and bad shooing.
This result of my treatment is proof of
tho'correctovt* of my judgment, as you
see she now mOYCi as freely and natural
ly as any other horse. 8he is a little
vicious, and we will take her in hand
when convenient if you wish." Princess
looked at me with suspicion, but I soon
made her ladyship submit to a caress.
Of an irritable nature, she deeded care
ful handling and a little watching to
prevent a snap judgrnedt in the way of
a kick. The next horse shown me was
i bay, four years old, named Startle,
ouo of the finest modeled horses of his
age I ever saw, and from present acounts
is the coming horse; he has already
made the fastest time ou record by a
horse of his age.
' Sec what an arm, a Shoulder, a loin,"
said Mr. Bouticr, calling my attention
to the various points constituting a groat
trotter; and so thoroughly does he seem
to havd studied the po'lrfts necessary for
speed and endurance that, I auf convin
ced, he could at a glance select a trotter
from a large drove. The next burse
shown me was the peerless Dexter.
Many a man, or woman either, would,
I imagine, feel it an honor to caress this
greatest of horses, but like a true king,
as he is, he will not permit familiarity
from a stranger; yet towards his master
he seems to evince the greatest affection,
following hitu with the docility of the
most gentle pet, while at the approach
of others he shows instant resentment.
Intending to renew my visit to the
stable next morning. I was now conduc
ted by Mr. Homier to his private resi
de nee. Seated in his library, the topic
of his conversation became that of prices
paid. I urn able to give the prices paid
for the following named horseet
Dexter.t.$33.000
Pocahontas. i*5,OG*0
Lantern. K-OOO
Ed. Everett. 20,090
Lady Palmer. 5,000
Peerless. 5.500
Bruno. 15,000
JoeKlliot. 10,000
Flutbush Maid. 4,000
Meiubriuo Hertie, about (Mr. Bon
ner's words).... ^.. 12,000
8147,500
Tf;e stftbic. a:ul groiind upon which
built must have cost at least ouo hundred
thousarhd dollars, making an aggregate
of the haud-.o ne amount of a quarter of
a million of dollars.?Herald of Health.
Lntrmpbrate Confessions.?Presi
dent Hopkins, of Williams College, is
thoroughly good and greatly loved, aud
he is a stately and dignified old gentle
man withal. All these excellent quali
ties added a quaint effect of contrast to
the suddenness of the following answer
which the worthy {president once received
aud tf?.*iih il ustrates the principle that
?'ridicule is the test of truth." In the
railroad cars one day the President
descried on-; of hts students, a youth
of regrettable habits in poiut of dissipa
tion, and wearing at that m itnent the
h;:ggafd aird dishevelled loots of one
not yet over the effects of a debauch.
Stepping up to the young man, looking
him sternly yet sadly in tho face, the
President .'Tiid, iu a deep and impressive
tone:
"Been on a drunk!"
' So have I," was the answer.
A Jewish Hibbi in Richmond wi?ics
the Dispatch that the light oiirg rod of
our times was knnfn fn thn ?b?r!err?.,h
century and quotes from a work cxtuut
iu 1201 the following: "If you want to
prevent the thunders from deftroyfirg
your castle, thin put on the roof a nvctal
wire, and it will be sifved." Hut more
remarkable is fhis about tho telegraph,
which a Jewish txilo from Spain in
1302 wrote: u\Vc have a good proof
I for an ifftterbto connection) iu the mag
net stou ). If you break this stone into
two parts (positive and negative), and
you lay one part cWft' side and the other
on the other side, even though they arc
separated thousands of mile... but Con
nected by (a wire of) iron, then every
movement which you make ou one side
will be visible on the other in the same
j moment;"
-
John Quiuoy Adanrs has twioe run as
. tho Democratic candidate for Governor
of .*d;ii??icli?>ct's. "My son," said once
his father, Charles Francis Adams, "do
yon- think you knMv enough tube (iov.
I or nor of Maaaacrfutfetktf" "L probably
.-'.ail by thu time 1 ami elected," replied
; the witty sou.
ThejBpurut out medical profession of
i Chicago oxpect to repair their fortunes
with patience.
Co.Ml'OKITION- ONTO A ^f?Stfi
Udify insects, the cat is ^ MSHSa
A good cat la turd to die. It Bftwo
eyes, a tail; tfd? bead od to k^CSs
and a leg dtidef dach dutaide corJHf
iu body. Ita boolj MafTofWOTfe?
two ?f which art Be1litf!.?r**tfJ?lj?
kitten?; that fc, if it ? a MftaaWWiy
T. cat has no kitte*o*l td^eVwIrM^J^J
eat balk 'of yarn, arid pkty *a*???at?
but are not so sweet -a* rose*, ibAfo
fresh ones. Some folks like ??tj?pk&>
huckleberry dumplings arc V&jt?:
Father ween a stove-pipe hat g^iaa
day, and Auut Folly had twins last guns
mer. A black cat doa't ^tMUWHr
tobacco as a member o? Je^9g9%?W*
spits mote wheri it is Bjad^ mSltmf^ e*
Squills will make a !*BTV^ftflMV"
pentino is better for the aaHT- fRflrcr
cut her thumb on a fiat iron and hid it
to the cat. Then father walloped fter.
I fari behind the hen-coop sawsooffcted.
The new minister came?' oWr fautr
house yesterday, and MlMvWrwl
new trousers in a chair fun'oTjtolfjj
cats. He spiled 'em bad. If I bad a
red pig to play with I'd lend yen tny
Sun-iuy-scftob! book. Cat has a Hp\a
her mouth. Mother's lap ain't. Did
you over see a cat hold a box ?of^JW'on
the end of her tail Y A sewing machine
runs, but not bo ea?y as a oat. That is
all I know of her.
Thomas Snntft*
The Dolly Yard?n.?Much natl
been said ot the Dolly V?rden stylo of
dress and yet not much is known about
it. For the benefit of the curioua wo'
give a Philadelphia husband's deserip
i tiou of the figure made by hia wife ii
j the "style":
"it is a dress whH ethijoilfik^Jud
cabbages arid pum'plcitfs WoTrefl all over
it, and a lot of snakes sq'iiiroYing around
for a back-ground. Why it is enough'
to girc a. man the delirium tremens to
look at it. Who ever saw Buch a psttetri?
It's flash wall paper run niad*., You;
look like seme Japanese 'lUaBifi
min fmfagmm1mm?L%m
?ilsson, in anticipation of leaving 'he'
stage, is investing in rtfifroads*. a
Most of the conrpwitors of the GluU",
of Boston, arc wouim. ^ fk^pgn
Can a watch bo said to be perfectly
dry when it has a running spripg inside?
Agassis has found out that the tl?tt
bitcs are not related to the ptfyffq'pod'?.
That tffay be lucky for the phyriopWs:
Out in California, a lawyer who de
fends t criminal for four street car tickets
u? called a shyster. r ?
When a New Jersey riuitidd dfopf
i dead, they juckknife hr/r eordc? dlritfgs;
aud she come*; to life again.'
A 'Ireen Bay man #ai mean enough
tue1 t j with the only school toaeher id
the town, thus shutting up the school.
The las: sensation uovel is, weT hear;
to be eutitted -'Tire Toiaotred Gum Drop;
or, The Candy Woman's Reteatye'r''
A crazy man at Elko, California;
recently swallowed a twenty dollar gold
piece, a cotfjjde of !cr*3\ a few silver dol
lars and a fancy necktie. .
A Gate City lawyer iucludeu if bis*
j bill against his client: "To waking up
} in the night Hud thinking about yoirf
I case, 8rr."
j What is (he Jove of resiles*, iipiirfg'
! ms.r.'' \ v^n.-.iwi .iirc^ui, iuu uatiics
with each flower ou its bank, theu pas
ses ou aud leaves them all in tears.
The ?pitaphs of rhoet men might read;
"Ha was horn; he toilod! and worried for
food, clothing, and equipage; be aoughe
the pliaotom, happiness} bo daed."
Very intimate relations exist betweeri
the sun and digestion.- Digestion and
I assimilation become weak and imperfect
if the man or animal is not daily exposed
to the direct rays of the star.
"John I" eTrcrairtfed1 F*ir>y; thf1t?-?5^
her arms' aron'mf TfeK1 bVothoew taeok,
"what substitute can tffere bv fVr the
endearments of a sister *" **vTerl."
said julin, "fou* sec," f?^, "flftfC tf^seodst
on whose sister itVrs."
Tu PouTghkeopsic a dry gtfejj clerk,
wt'o hist surarttfer saved from drowning
the coot 6T i fetms,l t>MrT, fas' fceofveo ?
letter from her fafn'er ?afJrr* fl?a*t "a-f
ye saved the gal, she's you*rrT.'y Tat
clerk demurs.
A gentleman from Lerndoa lately, Itf
making a return of his income Iu the
Tas Commissioners, wroto on the paper:
'Tof the lest t?reo years tny income has
been somuwhat under L'l?O ; Jo future
it will be more precarious, as the ruau fr
dead of whom I borrowed the 1009ey.'**