Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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i?8 a "fthoiia TO/4HI!H?? lf!T*l irf: . fix j btM)j|itilii nl i?-l?-?'i*M 8 .CK) * MAS Jff . ?i ?' TWO DOLLAKR PER ANNUM. \ fci-'.iLiM-i.'- -J. ' ?OJ il g-od A.isrr) oxjk <poxjjsrTHY. 1 ALWAYS IN AD VA NOK H M _ VOLUME 5. SATURDAY MORNING*, FEBRUARY 3, 1872. N UMBER 51 - THE ORANGEB?RG NEWS ? ?-:o:?? prnLisiwn at OR A. rSTGr"TC"B IT R O Every Saturday Mottling. 11Y T1IK ORANGEBURU NEWS COMPANY TERMS OF BIJBSORirTiON. One Copy for one year. $2.00 ?? ?? ? Rix Months. 1.00 Aay onp Bending TEN DOLLARS, for a <'lnb of New Subscribers, will receive an EXTRA COPY for ONE YEAR, free of charge. Any one son-ling FIVE HOLLARS, far a Tliib of Now Subscribers, will rocoiw an BXTUA COPY for SIX MONTHS, freci.f charge. RATES OF ADVERTISING. 1 Square 1st Tnsortion. J1.r>0 <? it 2<1 " .?. 1.00 A Square consists of 10 lines Brevier or one inch of AdlOr.Haing spneo. Administrator's Notices.$?"> 00 Katie** of Dismissal of Guardians, Ad ministrators, Executors, &c..$M 00 Contract Advertisements inserted upon the tatst liberal terms. MARRIAGE ami FUNERAL NOTICES, hoi exceeding ene Square, inserted without ohnrgo. ???* Terms Cash in Advance, "^?fi MALCOLM L BROWNING ATTORNEY AT LAW, OUANGlBUllBO C? II., So. (? nov 4 AUGUSTUS B. KNOWLTON (Formerly ol iiic .New Wirk liar.) ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR A T Ii A W , OlAANGKIlURiU, S. C. _jnly_8_ _tf W. J,. A\r. II ILEY TRIAL JUSTigE, ll evidence In J'ork of Eklisto, ALL^ut)jN,i;ss ^F1N2ui!i2Xi>^ A^j?Ute .frroinpfly an.l carefully attended to. july'23 1y DR. T. BERWICK LEGARE, SURGEON DENTIST. CJrnduale BaH iiuore CoIIego Dental Surgery. OFFICE MARKET-ST. OVER STORE OF J. A. HAMILTON. METALIC CASES. II TU F. ?NDERSIOJ^ED HAS OX 11 AN D all of the various Sizes of the nboy.c ("uses, whieh can be furnished immediately ou ap plication. AImo manufacture? WOOD COFFINS as iihuuI, and at the shortest notice. Apply to H. RIG OS. inur C>?Cm Carriage Manufacturer. REEDER & DAVIS, COTTON FACTORS General CoinmisKiiui tfowlionfs Adycrs Wftttrj, CHARLESTON, S. C. Oflwr.i.l Rr.epkb. Zi.vmeu.ua>. Davis. oct 16 tV in T. F. Broiue. It. R. Uunoi5a II. 0. Hiitmix*. BRODIK & CO. COTTON FACTORS AM> COMMISSION M ERCHANTS, NORTH ATI.A STIC WHARF, C II AUESTON, S. ('. Liberal Advances made <>n Consignment. Reran To Andrew Simomls, Esq., Pres t 1st National Rank, Charleston; S. (.. may -1 wuc tf WASHINGTON HOUSE I'.V Mrs. M. W. Stratton, boask k CEKVAIS fi ASSEMLLV STREE'j S COI^MBIA, ( . Convenient lo the Greenville ami Charleston Itnilroade and the Ibisinesa |)'M'ti?n of the City. Rule of Transient? Hoard?Two Dollars per Day. Regular Hoarders received at Reasonable dee il> Lf. TO A WATEltFOYVL. JlUJJlJL *. tt K ? T Whither, midst falling dew, While glow the he-ayeim with, the l&at et?p? j of day, KmmBN? W I Fur through their rosy depths, dost th?rt 1 pursue Thy solitnry way ! Vainly the fowler's eye Might mark thy distant flight to do thee ! wrong, As, darkly painted on the crimson sky, Thy figure iloats nlong. Seok'at thou the plashy brink Of weedy lake, or marge of rirer. wide. Or where the rocking billows rise and sink On t ho che t od ooeun side tf, *fbere is a power whose care Teaches thy wny along that pathless coast,? The desert nud illimitable air,? Lone wandering, but not lust. All day thy wing1* have fanVd, At that far height, the cold, thin atmosphere, Vet sto: p not, weary, to the welcome land, Though the dark night is near. And sorm that toil phall end; Soon shall thou find a summer home, and rest, And scream among thy fellows; reeds auati bend. Sonn, o'er thy sholter'd nest. Thou'rt gone, the abyss of heaven Hath BWallow'd up thy form; yet, on my n earl Dovply hath sank the lesson thou ha?t given. And shall not soon depart. He who, from tone to zon?, Gables through tho boundless sky thy cer tain tliglit, In the long w*}- that 1 must tread alone, AY ill lead my step? aright. ??-1.--^- . Till: FINCER DP FATE. BY \v. s. GILBERT. 1 am going to give you an instance of the desperately strong measures Kate will take in order to bring about an event .?die has set hef mind upon. i mu a middle-aged bachelor, of staid i^j-'UdMl ?Mfhiti I gm i pi-Cftj* ct.ijr* fortahly '-off," having an independent income of $400 a year, and a Civil Ser vice ptnsioti of S7?0 a year. T was for ma j years 3* crotary of the Wnrrant officers' Shirt-Frill and Shaving-Soar/ Department ?a branch office under the Admiralty, Somerset House. I have led a quiet aud retired life? shunning ''sooiety" in its gayest souse, srid associating intimately with three or four other heads of subordinate depart ments, and with no one else. 1 am naturally nervous, and, I am afraid. irritaMe. I hate bright colors, upnecos Sary conversation, useless noises,?such as vocal and instrumental music, und ti e neighing of horses.?and 1 can't hear to see people in quick m itiuii. If I had my way, no oue should speak to me except on mutters of pure business, und only then, when thft communica tion could not he conveniently reduced into tho form of a memorandum. Above all other things, 1 deleft forward peo ple; and above all other forward pcoplo, I detest strangers, who address mo on immaterial topics in public couveyau CCS. 1 had occasion, a few weeks after my retirement from official- li'V, to travel to Glasgow by tho limited mail, on my woy to New Yoik. It is u long journey to Glasgow ? twelve hours?tlie train I....?;.... v... . ?> ?* ? and professing to arrive at nine, A. M , the next day. A railway journey to tJlasgow is detestable, but posting i? ?vorse, and walking out of the question. It was a cold night in April. There were very lew passengers by tho limited mail There were only four first-class carriages to Glasgow: of tlnse, three were occupied by threo ladies-?one in each carriage; tho fourth was a smoking carriage, and empty. I don't smoke; hut the train was on tho point of start ing, and the guard assured tno that it was unlikely that wc triWild take up any first-class passengers on our way. It was u new carriage, and had never been used. At till events, I wus safe' from .lalo intrusion ; so 1 jumped in. The train started, aud 1 had my carriage, all to myself. The train did not stop til! we reached llug-by. At Rugby, a lady opened the carriage door. She was u stout, plain, middlo-ngod woman?five and forty, I should say. She Wim extravagantly dressed in showy colors: Her complex ion was very dark-, and she wore a re spcctublo moustache. This wouldn't do ; I could settle )V?r at all events, '1 beg your pardon, mn'utn. hut thi? is a smoking-carriage.'' ?Exactly,', replied the lady, with a Bfrobg'foreign accent, 'but I stnokos.' This was a contingency that I had ?You -fttv/w? ftp Way sar?' said the1 foreign lady. Here was a chance of es fa pe! 'I hare no lights, madam.' 'Ah, dash 1' she ta\d. 'Hut, no conse quence,?G unrd !' Th j guard came up. _fi. 'You give nie l'ght V And he gave her a light, and then he disappeared. I was nearly choking with th> fumes of her detestable Ilavanuahi At last 1 could stand it no longer, aud;|I said,? '1 beg your pardon, but ! object to ' smoking 'Ah,' replied the lady, 'you ?"j^J|^ smoke?you travel in sniokwig-carriagc'T Donkey?jackass donkey !' She said ihtwu last;three words with the air of onewho ha'd done a abort ad dition sum, aud was slating the total. 1 had never travelled abroad, but I knew that foreigners are remarkable for their politeness. 'I entered this carriage to avoid the society ot ladies.' 'Me, too,' taid the foreign lady. 'Hash ! I hate lady. I like guuthtfhfii" Thcu she uddvd as tin nitcr-thtfei^jit, 'Vou arc huughtj old customer, but 1 Wim you?you rummy old pas-enger V I wua exceedingly annoyed at this 1 plume myself on my good taste in dress ?that is to say, 1 study to dress myself in such a way as to call for no remark of any kind, which I hold to be the per fecti?n nf gm>d t;i*-tc. Nfy personal ap pearance is simply gentlemanly, without any thing remarkable about it. It has been my cofibtun? study to be gentleman. Iv. but u^uaf: nnd to be called a 'rummy old ptiiHcuger' was, under the circum stances-. Rf? irrigating thing II iwever. ' I ma in tili tic 1 a dignui-d silence, j It was a very cold night, and my Pel low passenger had ev'uleutly a strong ' ifcvVn Tr.' ?>:e-nJ lui'iu i lii IiTT VCI*il?""sn 1 'bought it wuul 1 irritate her if I let down th window. Accordingly 1 did w m & M % w *Th::nk*';,on. old j a<si tiger.' sho si: 1 I "I like flesh ;iirs. 1 Jet this one down i ton !' And she lowered the ?ither win dow. I couldu't staud the draught, so 1 put up my wiudow- and she put up hers. I was sulkily tin ions by this time In halt an hotfr we should reach Stafford, ? and '. deteftniiicd to change my carriage i at that station In thdnieaiitune I :;ied (.to slenp. but the Ibreign lady kept up , such an iacessont clatter, that sleep was out of the question. ?Where you going, old passenger? i You not fell? Secret, eh ? Ah, ?ly ? ting ? Yi>u old cashier, perhaps, bolt ing with bank moneys, eh ? Confiden tial clerk, with employer's cash box in portmanteau, eh ? Old boy going up north t-> marry old girl on i!:e sly, eh ? I! igman, nnd echamed of it. perhaps, eh, you old passenger ? Hah ! Hag man pood ok anybody else ! Never be ashamed?look at me! Me not blush ut myself. What you say 1 am??eh? You not guess Duohess ? No! Count ess? No! Lady of large property wife of Glasgow uicrchaut ? J)evil a bit ! Missionary woman? No. i lit rone dancer? No! StiM^ird??? <?n '\*--? Indiatiian. spending pay? Ves?that's, it! Come homo six mouths. Find big ; Amer: 'no ship watcr-loggo 1 ?cargo 'notions' ? nobody on board but pu -\ cat, you rummy old passenger ? boarded her- Hullo ! What's that.' 1 did not know what it was, but there { was a sudden snap, and our carriage j fradually slackened speed, and ofcntu J ally stopped. I [nit my Lead out of tho j wiudow The coupling had broken, and our carriage and the guard's van had been separated from the rest of the train. The driver knew nothing about it ; ami there we were, haW-way between Stafford and Hugh* ut twelve, A. M., on a very cold April night \ 'Great Heavens '.' said I, in the very grcutest alarm-, the coupling has broken and wc are left behind' by the train ! We shall be smashed-by tho next dowu train !' ?Not a bit, you old strange ouc " replied she, without even looking out of the wiudow 'Guard at end of train. If we broke off, he broke offtoo.' The guard had in point of tact rushod forward, waving his lantern in'the faint hope of being able to attiact 'ho aflfobfioa of the driver, but in vain. So he re turned, very exci'cd but very sulky] What in tb?~*orld ted I. wc to' dot' ot out of this, you anjd your old wo $a\k I ?uu back to-(Bembridge to telegraphT Co mo, outyoujijo"? 'But where are we to roI? It is rain ing bard, aud wc shall be snaked.' ?There's a light yonder across tho com mon. You'd better trot ojer^hcre, you and your old woman, aud iJhock 'cm up. t don't know the couutrfr just here.' And off he went like lightning. 'Iiis advice very good, ?y old roan,' said my companion. 'I tale your arm, and wc trot. Come, ru.u c/jap.' There was no help for itJL I euccurab ed, aud ~?c had a squashu walk over a pat bless and lurzy couimoii, half a mile i a diameter. My comastoiou had a kiniok of tumbling down iir a Bitting at tTtu'de at the faintest provocption ; and if 1 lifted her up once, I [lifted her up twenty times. Twenty I tmes sixteen stone is exactly two tons-rwbich repre sents the wi ight I lifted off Bembridge Common that night. (I h vre since had reason to believe that h.-r ? Actual weight in fifteen stone three, but ? say sixteen stone, because I take into roonsideratiou the nioi.-ture with which hen clothes were saturated.) At length, after t.venty&noutcs' difia .Ciilt walkiug, wc reached tffio light that liad attracted our alteotioniI It proceed ed from the window of a v, ry small cot tage. Wo kuoekeJ, aud e veotuully the door was opened to us. 1 a the mean time, my companion, who had informed I mo thut her oamc was Do r*y F^rtefecue, sang negro song- in a desfp Wrjrtralto. 'Wot is it. ?' said the cottage f. 'There has been on i cc tdent on the line, ami wc want sheite;.' ; ' Wot'll yon give ?' *' 'A g uiiea.' ^iiid Mis, ro.Vtescue. 'This ruin old card give a g ,inea^ 'Well, you can lie in the/stuble. My cottage is chock-full.' 1 lit; to ik a lantern, and Iallowed me isjto thr> :il?l*?,' ahich wt-^Lx hut with a very untidy d itikcy. I at once de cline I to .' ire this stable with Dolly, i preferring to risk a night in the laiu. , I stated my intention. 'Old hoy is quite right. lie's a rum- 1 my old passenger, but he's quite light, j j C.uiutt?i*lung. queer little old man?wc walk Boiuewhere else.' j 'Now, lookce here,' said the man; wot's your game, you two? Wot are Iyer hop to? Is this here a lark? \\ hole's inv "iiitica ? (.Jive us 'old o' I n.y guinea a I ore you goes. Come !? be j a gontlemitu afore you goes ! None of i this with mo, you know! (.Jive us 'old o' my guinea 1 Come!' 'Old man,' suid Dolly to me. - pull crtrf employers' cash-box, and give gtr'.oca like birds.' 'Wet'.-, this here about cash-boxes ?' said the man. 'Come, out with that guinea ! We hears a good deal about it. hut we don't see none of it. Come, let's sec some of it. He a man !' 'I shall give you nothing,' said I. 'You are an insolent scoundrel 1' 'Wot '.' said the man?"Wut's this bete about ca*h;hox?H t Come along o' me !' j ?and he laid his hand tipou in % collar. You se.mndn 1 V sai t'J, 'if I Were a S ? pin ger man, L I' - ?\\'nt! assault tho portico' My eye'/ here's a go ! Come along o' mc : I'm tue c i.istabie. t 11 givo you a lodging. So, it s cash-boxes, is it ? Come along o' me ? Lot h on ycr !' And he led u-> loa square building at the Lack of his house, and, uulockii.g the dour, push* d us in. 'Now.' said he, 'I'm a-goiu* to search you.' And he did; hut he found nothing exc;pt a few sovereigns?lor my money was in my uVsputeh'-box, trhiehhsd bc?:n place.d in the luggage-van. 'Now, said he, 'how about soarchin' your good w >muu ? I ain't a-goin' to do it?and I ain't got a missus. Lookee here, suppose you do it?' 'Sir.' said I, 'this woman is a total at ranger to me.1 'Ah! separate rcsponsibiii les, ch ? The hold si-oy. Now, lookee here, uia'nm, I ain't e goiu' to search you, because I've been properly brought up; but I'm a-goiu' to shake you, to see it you rattle.'> M i-s Fortescuc lii.ute no rerhal reply, but pulled out a gigantic clasp knife. 'All right,' said ?ho. 'Cono on, po ; liooman !' lie hesitated. 'J^ook, pdice-man; f tell yv,u what I d->. 1 walk out of-1his. 'Good nights!' And she did. The policeman turned p*l? and civil. ?Ain't you goin' aloDg with her, air 7' laid he. 'I am not. I paw the night here.' lie retired, swearing fluently, and locked the door on me. I could not ?lcrep?tnJl, *t ?II etedt?, I was free at ladt froni my proeecutrri. I was so pleased, that I sang a rtferr.y song, and carved my name on th? wall with a rusty nail, aa other prisoners have dono before inc. The next day I was taken before a magistrate, who dis missed the caso at once, aud I resumed my journey. When I reached Glasgow, I found that my ship was on the poiut of sailing My luggage had been placed on board, und my half-cabin was ready far me. We had dreadful weather at sea ; we were driven many hundred miles out of our course; and for three weeks after leaving Glasgow I was terribly ill, and did not leave my cabin. I believe I should not have left my cabin at al! if 1 had* not beetf throwu bodily out of it by a tremendous concussion one very stormy night. 1 rushed on deck, and found every thing in the wildest confusion. A fear ful storm was raging, aud the ship bad struck on a sunken rock. Th -re was absolutely uo hope for her, and it was impossible to launch a boat, eveu if it ^ could kave lived in such a sea. I don't want to harrow anybody, so I will content myself with explaining that amid the shrieks of three hundred pco j pie, the vessel foundered. I always take tbc precaution, when ttt sea, of wearing a little tudia'-ru'bbor apparatus round my ueck, which I in tlate, and in that coudition it prevents my head from going under. I inflated it hastily, uud i found that it answered admirably. 1 was tossed about violently lor some hours, and when the gale at fangt!] -ubeidod, 1 was far out at sea. No land Was visible; aud aa I rose and fell in the sulky lopping sea, 1 felt that 'Illy- l'.dtll? MiU*al'rl&fitJ!. T^lboacd^gcrty towards the horizou ou all sides, in the vain hep* of*seeing a distant toil, but 1 saw none. There was, Lowcter, one thing in view?a dark round thing floating oi. the waves a mile or so from me. I struck out for it, and I was hor rified to tiud that it was alive ! Still 1 approached it, reflecting that death from a sea-monster was preferable to death from starvation, and to my amaiomcut 1 fouud that it was making straight in my direction. On approaching it, I was appalled to find that it resembled noth iif* so much as a human head in a floating plate; and ou coming within three or four yards, 1 discovered that it was the head of Miss Fortescue, suppor ted above water by a contrivance simitar in character to the apparatus 1 have already described. I should add that her great fat bunchy body, and ([ had no doubt) her legs, were still couneetcd with it. 'Nut Miss Fortescue?' said I. 'lluiumy old passenger, by Gar I' said she. 'What you duiug here, Bar?' 'I am not here by choice. I was wrecked in the 1Auron. llorealis.' 'Ale, too !' said she. 'You!'said [. 'Were you on (board the A urora ?' ??Horc.ilis,' added she. 'Yes?me . . . 1 ft <M( 'I urn very cold, and this confounded thing has given me a crick in the neck.' 'Situation damp,' said she. 'Try this, you queer one !' It was a flask of brandy. She held it to my lips until 1 had liken a comforta ble draught. 'Two shillings,' said she, holding the bottle to thv hj^ht to see how much I had fa ken. 'Here it is ' said I. 'Stewardess, a shilling?urake three.' I determined to resist this extortion, for on that line of packets the steward's fee is included in the 'tare. 1- told1 her so. 'You mean old euss !' said Miss* For teseue. 'I give you nothing more ' I tried to look dignified and iudiffbr1 ent, but it Was of no use. You can't look dignified v*hon you'arc'perpetually bobbing ap and down on a lopping sea, supported entirely by au InrHu-rubbbr bag round the nook. P aside*, I was very hungry, and*she had a large Water proof basket/ ou the arm. So I g-ive her the shilling, which she. bit aud pock eted. "Now then/ said she, 'what's to do next V 'What iihvc you got there?' said I 'Garnian ?ansage?cucumber?carrot ?bottle barley-water?two tomatoea?a bloater?two egge?one pound macaroni ?bead of endive?stick Spanish liquo rice?three pounds snuff.'' ?What arc your terms for the carrot P ?Carrot very dear out here', yod pecu liar old one. Carrot a guinea.' ??Hod it over.' I gave hor a guinea and ate the" car rot. 'Now,' said she, 'I go straight oo iu that direction for shore. Come along, old oue !' rNetor!' said I; 'I will take the oppo site point of the compass, and run my chance. Oood-by.' And I struck out vigorously in tho opposite direction. After a day aud a half's vigorous* swimming, I reached the poiut of a low sandy shoro, which seemed to stretch for miles in a direction due south, as I judged from the position of the sun. I waa well satisfied to feel dry ground tin 1 der my legs again, and I lauded With' much gratitude. I was extremely hdngry, and I walk ed tar tifftes along the shore picking up mussels and periwinkles, and eating them raw. I saw no trace of a human being of any kiud. and as the sun went down I began to wish myself in the sea again. Night came on, and I was hungry and alone. However, I still wandered on in a listless, purposeless way until I fell over something that lay across my path. To ffiry intense joy I ffuud, ou investigation, that it was a sleepiug, breathing human X*eing. 1 could not tell whether it was a man or a woman, as there was no moon, and the clothes he or she wore might have suited! cither sex equally well. I endeavored to awaken the figure, but in vain; so I determined to sit by his or her side until morning. Accordingly I dropped myself into a* sitting position, when, to my extreme' amazement, an explosion of fire took pfaco immediately under me 1 across me that thershtnd Was a mass of slumbering fire, only waiting for accidental contact with an exciting cause to blow ilsolf and every thing upon it miles into the air! On closer examination, however, I found that I had sat d >wu npon a box of vesu vians, and that one of them had explo ded. It suddenly occurred to mc to use these vesuviaus as a means of identify ing nry crlnpaiiiou. I ignited one, but it was not a flaming veauvian; it smoul ded. and fizzed, aud smelt, but afforded no assistance. 1 lit auothcr, aud held it close to the person's nose, but it only illuminated a small circle ad big as a half-crown- I lit a third, and this time the red hot end tumbled on to the sloe pcr's cheek. The sleeper started up. It was Dolly Fortcrcue ! 1 was not a bit surprised. I had brought myself to look upon Dolly as my fate. Dolly was not a bit surprised. She looked at mc?grinued and spoke. ?That dash hot, you odd1 ode !' When mcTrrfng Lrol^e, we looked about us The island wc found was about tweuty-five miles long aud seven broad, principally rock ? no vegetation ? oo fresh water. The island was crescent shaped, tho two horns being twenty miles asunder. I had lauded on oue horn, she on the other, aud we had met in the middle. The only native inhabi tants of ttie place wore pcriwiukles and mussels. So wc set to Work to make ourselves comfortable. The object of this narrative is not to give a detailed1 account of tho highly ingeukus mauner in which we contrived to live comfortably, and even luxuriously on our island, but rather to exhibit the caprices of a determined destiny. I detested Dolly with nil my heart, and'avoided1 her Whenever practicable ; but she paid mc every nttention, and, notwithstanding her unpleasaut appear ance, she was really valuable to me. She christened tho island "Forfetcue,' and crowned me its monarch. My first act as king was to try her ftr drawing her knife ou'thc policeman iu liemhridge lock-up, aud by that means breaking out of custody She was found guilty by r.n impartial jtfry of Mc, aud sentenced to transportation for life ou the other side of tho island. She wout, meekly and uncomplainingly?but, as aho took all our cooking implcmeots with her. I waa obliged to follow. i his ineouvenicnt life went on for thirteen years. At the cxpiratiom ol that period, my kingdom was visitedby-a missionary ship, which had drifted out ot her course. 1 signalled aud my sig nals were answered. A boat full of Baptist missionaries put off to us, bear ing many bales of tracts for our caver sion. They were very lunch disappoin ted and disgusted when they, heard that1 we were Christians. And when wc added that we were Protestant?, they moodily returned to their *boatft, au?f rrfechnnically began to put off to sea. I streamed aloud in my terror at their contomplatcd departure without us. Their chie'f explained that their tuis mion was to convert, and that we needed no conversion. 'You are a Christian,' Bald he? ?'Protestant, aud, no doubt, Baptist. What can we do7' 'No,' said I, as a ray of hope broke through the olouds that were gathering around us, 'not Baptist?Church of En gland !'' 'IIa I' said their loader; 'will you let me make a Baptist ofyoit, H we take your with us V 'I am open to conviction,' said I. 'Andyour wife?' said he. 'This is not my wife ?' said- I, in ? passion. 'Shocking, indeed?' said he. Will you marry her if I take you off ?' 'Yes,' said Polly, 'he will marry me, yon melancholy old Presbyterian !' So hs took us into the boat, aul we reft the island. We were married ta soon as wc reached England!. Ina week my wife had enough of me, nnd fled. The arrears of my peusiou amounted1 to sitnethmg considerable, and she ran' off with them. 1 ran after her, but I could never find her. I sup pose, cow that I want her, I never shall*. Not A Satisfactory Experi ment.? Here is a bit of grotesque hu mor from New Orleans r? Mr. Cray discovered a mm explosive illuminating fluid. To show bow safe the new compound was, he invited a number of his friends to meet him in his rooms, whither he had brought & barrel of the fluid, which he at once hnrawiftdfld tft stir jrith i Ajuju&ftalutg As he weut through the roof of hit house, accompanied by his friends, bo endeavored to explain to. his nearest compatjnon ilc royctje that the particular fluid in the barrel had too much benxirre in it; but the geutlomaa said be had an engagement higher up, and could not wait for the explanation. Mr. Gray continued his ascent till he met Mr. Joneir, who informed him that there was no necessity for him' to" go'op high er, as everybody was coming down; Bo Mr. Gray started back to be with the ptfrry. Mr. Gray's widow offers for sale the secret for the manufacture of the non-explosive fluid at a reduced rate, as she wishes to raise money enough* Co' buy a silver-handed coffin, with a gilt plate, for the late Mr. Gray. No cards. A gentleman'who had taken the horse cars for the Worcester Depot in Boston, iucirmbcred with manifold bags and par cels, reached the bell-rope with an effort when he wished to get off, and gave a vigorous pull; the result was a sharp ring from both bells.' 'What are you ringing both ends for?' waa the discourteous antr* surly in-' qniry of the conductor. 'Because I wish the car to Stop at both ends,' was the quiet reply that left a convulsed car-load and discomfited I_i. Fall and Winter' Goods,! F. W. H. Briggffiann HAS just received a FULL STOCK DIIY GofcDS, CLOTH INT.. FANCY GOODS, BHOES, HATS, Ar. All ray goods is LOW ia price tt suit IW My irr?*to is small profits and quick saiar My slock of J II A R DWATfl P., CROCKERY W UtL. GROCERIES, i LIQUORS, WISES, alk. LAtiEH BEER &e Is of thf first quality ar.d low in prte't. COTTON and nil otl-fr I'red o Ca bought at the highest market price. P. ir. W HRlC.r.viAN?. oct 14 oct a \j ! Oil A N G EBU KG ?1 n Commov *; ?? rw i Wesley tlottser, .Wim . vs Amenta Speight* 'and others. Ity ordcrof the Court in this rifckh; I will sell l'<>r cash, Ott the s:ilcd.?\ in February I next, (1st Monday, i ."?0 Metres < f land on iL? Santec River, which was of the Estate of ? Fly /.cigler. deceased. Purchaser to pay 'f<?r title. Hr.o llOLIVKlt. Jan 1-. I9T2 rl? t i Ret i- ???.