Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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{ t .I-i .*?? t'r*f?A <?H ?.:?;.,*.he : ? - till ?*!? V>:*>?i??m!a? r , -*ntl*T** *?<-> **^a*--a-W ^**t>/ **1/ ?fcWJ*--* - "?.---? -u^..--^ VOLUME 3. TWO DOLLARS PER ANNUM. } ^-1_:-^. . ,,- JL ?r fott wo? H>J to j . ftjs?V- Un<1 ?Ja V?? ?.^BMi^i ??& >% ?^B-f %*ft )o j ,AM |W *6't Ifta* TI TiT< ?*m 4?*-* M '"IJUJ ?' ' " god A-jNT-D otj: 19^" ?*><4l? A*W?1 -? ?_Ltm-^-r,-.^vr^Wrz. SATURDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY 5. 18t0.' T \t^Zl^Z^ 1\L,*' NUMBER 51 ORANGEBURG NEWS ?:o:? rtliietlED AT ORANGEBURG, 8. C. Every Saturday Horning. ''BAS. IL HALL* CO. M BUSH EES AND PROPRIETORS. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Cepy far one year. $2.00 *? " " Six Month?.? 1.00 Any one sending TEN DOLLARS, for a Clnb of Now Subscribers, will receive an EXTRA COPY for ONE TEAR, free of ?kergs. Any one sending FIVE DOLLARS, ftto a Club of New Subscriber*, will receive mm EXTR A COPY for SIX MONTHS, free of ?:o:? HATES OF ADVERTISING. I Square let Insertion.$1.50 " " 2d " . 1.00 k Square consists of 10 lines Brevier or ?ineh of Advertising space. Adsaiaistrator's Notice.?...$5 00 Kette?? of Dismissal of Guardian?, Ad ministrators, Executors, Ac....$0 00 Contract Advertisements inserted upon the saest liberal terms. ?:o:? HARR^CULAnd-Ft^KR U. NOTICES, *tt exceeding one Square, inserted without ?baige. MT* Terms Cash in Advance, -"?a Augustus B. Knowlton, Attorney A Ooimscllor ?1 I.jmv. AT LKW1SV1LLE.? Wednesday and Sat urday. Resides at "Oakland" near Furt Mette. 8. C. doe 18 ilm I.AW NOTICE. DeTreville & Sistrunk, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, ORAX?EIUJUG, S. a. t. I. DsTSKVILLB. F. O. SlSTBlSK. j?a? 12 tf GLOVER & GLOVER, A/rXOmSKYS abo t'OIl.WKI.LOltS AT LAW. ORANGE BURG C. IL. S. C. Ts??. W. (ii.ovaa. Moktimv.r. (Jtovtin. Jaai ly HUTSONS & LEGARE, ATTORNEYS AND SOLICITORS. Will attend the Courts in Orangeburg, Barawell and Beaufort, and the United States Cearts. OrriCS AT ORANGEBURG, S. C. W. U. Ht.T?os. W. F. HtTSbS. T. K. LaoABB. jaa 28 e ly IZLAR A DIBBLE, ATTORNEYS AND SOLICITORS, OR A XGEli CR (7, S. V. Iambs F. Izlab. Samukl. Diubi.b. fell 28 ? ly MALCOLM L BROWNING, ATTORNEY AT LAW, ORi^OEHUItU ?. II., So. ?a augSl ly FEED. FERSNER, Will bs ia Orangeburg every Thursday, Fridav and Saturday. 0?,es in rear of BULL, SCOVILL * PIKE, fob 20 tf DR. H. W. KENNERLY, tBAXGEBUUO, TTAVINO REMOVED TO THIS PLACE, ri Respectfully otters his Professional Services to the Citizens and Vicinity. Office on Russell Street, opposite Bull, Seovill * Pike's. mar 13 2m IX W. ROBINSON. FAftlllONAIILK TAILOR, I have the pleasure to announce to ray nu saorous Customers and the Public generally, tbat haviug tom-jicu iu a Central Position, kacdy and convenient to alt, I am now pre Bred Cut. Fit and make Up a OENTLE AN'S WARDROBE with Neatnes?, and Despatch. Terms liberal and Work War ranted. Thankful for the Patronage of the past, I respectfully, solicit its continuance. Nest door to Messrs. Bull, Seovill & Pike, I ean be found at all times. j*?0?ty D. W. ROBINSON. FACTOR AND C&AttflSKIOX III KMC'If AXT, CHARLESTON S. C. Mh~?a' a'?T^r.ccr; rsada on Cotton. RaraarKCiC?First Nailou*' Hank, Pco Sm'm Nation?! Bank, Messrs. Jno. Frascr 4 p^lll'teVS: tf' july?l ly Gr. D. KE1TT, Lumber and Timber Factor, and Gciic ral Commission Merchant, Prepared to Advance liberally on Consign ments when in hand. Office West End Broad-Street, CHARLESTON, S. C. dec 11 am E. S. BURNHAM, Svccrrtor to R. W. Rurnham, 421 King St., Sign lied Mortar, just bolow Calhoun St., Charleston, 8. C, oealkr in Drugs, Medicine*, Chemical!?, Alcohol, Pure Winca and Liquor? for Medicinal Pur poses, Perfumery, Soaps, Brushes, Fancy and Toilet Articles, oct 2 ly SASH IBLI^JD AND DOOR FACTORY. KINO STREET, ?l POSITE CANNON, CHARLESTON, S. C. A large Stock of the above on band. All orders for the same promptly filled. sept 18 Cm wmTcTbee & jxl F?eTors an*T COMMISSION MERCHANTS, 22 ADGER'S WHARF, CHARLESTON, S. C. W?. C. Rkk. Tbbodokb D. Jkrvet. LIBERAL ADVANCFS made upon Con signments to the above ilousc, for the Char leston, New York and Liverpool Markets. Apply to JAMES BROWNE, sept -1?tf At D. Louis' Store. reede I' & davis, COTTON FACTORS -a no ?EXEIML tO Jill I.SSI ON MERCHANTS, ADGER'S NOIttH WHARF, (HARLES T O N , So. Ca. VOXSWXMEXTS ItESl'Lt'TFCU. V SO U CITED. Oswkll Rrr.iiKit. Zim.ukum.v-n Davis. au? 28 - W IE I T 3 ;' s 91 A It It I, E W ORKS, 117 Meetiny- Street. Ok?tHe*ton, So. Ca. "jt/jTONCMENTS, BEAD STONKS. MAE J3JL Mo ami Stone Tile; Blue Flagging and Brown Stone Work, of every description. SCOTCH ? It A N IT E M ON U M EN TS, Iron ItitilliiffH. a. a. white, n. n. whitk. may 1 c 12m EDWABD PERKY, 155 MEETING STREET, Opposite ClinrlcHton Hotel, CHARLESTON, E. E. DEALER tN SCHOOL, LAW and MEDl eal Hooks. LAW BLANKS, &?.. BLANK BOOKS of j ?11 Styles on hand and made to order. STATIONERY of all kinds. PRINTING of every description executed with promptness and ut reasonable rates. PRINTING PAPERS and Wade U Co.'a Rook and Job PRINTING INK. oct 2 Cm Campsen Mills Hour RECEIVE!) TUE FIRST P R E M I ? M At So. Ca. State Fair, Columbia. S. C.,*j 1869. Th? undersigned offer to their Country Friends and the Public iu gcncrul a cboicu and pure urticlu of Flour. They have on hnnd and Grinding Daily a full supply of Choice Family Extra and Super FLOUR. Also, Northern and Western Flour at low est inurkct price. CORN, OATS and HAY?5000 bus. Prime White and Mixed Corn. 2000 bus. Prime Oata und ?Oti bale* Prime Eastern and North River Hay. JNO. CAMPSEN A CO., dec 4?8m Charleston, 8. 0. MI 1,1, 1H?\D and CHANNEL OYTEBS supplied in quantities to suit purchasers. Orders from all parts of tho interior solicited. Address THOMAS McCRADY, Agent, P. 0. Rox No. 880 Charleston, 8. C. Ilt:ii;iu-,.\Pi:n?James Adgcr & Co., Hon. J. B. Campbell, Dr. St. J. Ravcncl, David Jen nings, Me.Ci tidy & Son, W. G. Dingle, John S. Ryan. nor 20?8m I3. 3?. TOALE, Manufacturer of Door*, St?h Blinds, Charleston, S. C, HAVING THE LARGEST AND MOST COMPLETE FACTORY in the South ern State*) and keeping always on hand a large and most complete stock of DOORS, SASH KM, BLINDS. Sash Doors, Store Deor-, Shutters, Mouldings, Ac, Ac, I am enabled to sell levr and at manufacturers' prices. ft. n.?strict attention paid to shipping in good order, jnty -v* srl 24 iy My Wife's firidal Tonr. BY M.iSK SKINNER. Wiioo I married my second wife, she was ?I red fill set about going off ou a bri dal tour. I told her she had better wait six mouths or a year, and I'd try to go with her, but she said she rather go alone ?when a womau was traveling a inuu was au out-und-out humbug. So I gave her seventy five cents, nud tuld her to go off and have a good time. I new; begrudge money where my wife's hnppinc s is concerned. My first wife never could complain of not goiug any wheres, for I'm dreadful fierce to go off on a good time myself, and always waa. I dou't pretend to say how many times I took her out to see the engine squirt, aud there was no end to thu Tree lectures I let her go to. The neighbors used to say : "It does beat all how the Skinners go r When Signor Hlitz was in Slunkvillc, with his wonderful canaries, he gave my JH -At 2. ^l^lumyitary ticket. I not only sold that ticket for my wife, but I gave her halt* the money. I don't boast of it, though : only meution it to show how much I thought of my wife's happiness. I don't think any man ought to get married till he ecu consider his wife's happiness only second to his own. John Wise, a neighbor of mine, did thuslv. and when I got married 1 concluded I'd do like Wise. But the plan didn't lork in the case of my second wife. No, I should think not. I broached the subject kindly. "Matilda," I said, "I suppose you are aware that I am uow your lord and mus ter." "Not much you ain't," said she. '?Mrs. Skinner," I replied, "you are fearfully demoralized. You need reor ganizing at onco. You arc cranky." And I bratidialu-d tu? vivtv.twa cent utnhrrll.i wildly amund Uof. ' She t?u>k the umbrella away from me, aud locked me up in the ulnthcsprrss. I am quick to draw mi i ufere nee, and the iuforenee 1 drew here was. that I was not a success as a reorganisier of female women Aftor this, 1 changed my tactics. I let her have her uwn way, and 'he plan worked tu a charm from the very first. It's the best way of managing a wife that I know of. Of course this is between you and mc. So when my wife was bound to go off on a bridal tour anyhow. I cordially as scuted. "Go, Matilda," said I "and stay as long as you want to; then if you feel ns though you would like to stay a littlo while longer, stay, dear, stay." She told mc to stop talking, aud go up stairs and get her red flannel night-cap, and that bag of penuy-royal for her nunt Abigail. My wife is a very Stuart woman. She was a 13 .xter, aud the Baxters area very smart family indeed. Her mother, who is going on eighty, can fry more slap jacks now, than half these primped up city girls, who rattle on the piano, or else walk the street with their furbelows and fixings, pretctiding to get mad if a young chap looks at 'cm pretty hard, but getting mad in earnest if you don't take any notice of them at nil. Ah ! girls ain't what they used tobe when I was young, and the fellows are worse still. When I went courting, for instatree, I never thought of sl iying till after ten o'clock, and only went twice a week. Now they go scveu nights in a week, and cry because there aiu't eight. They write touching notes to each other during tho day. "Dear George, do you love mc as much now as you did at a quarter past twelvo last night? Say you do, dearest, aud it will givo me courage to go down stairs add tackle thetu cold beans leftover from yesterday." Well, well, I suppose they enjoy them selves, and it aiu't for us old folks, whoso hearts havo got a little calloused by long wear, to interfere. L<?t them get together and court if they like it, and I think thoy do. I was forty-seven when I courted nvy present, wifo, but it scorned just us nice to sit on a little cricket at hor feet and let her smooth my hair, as it did thirty years ago. As I said before, my wifo is a very smart woman, but she couldn't bo any thing else, and a liaxter. She used to give lectures on Woman's Rights, and iu one piaco where she lectured, a big col lege eonferred the title of L. L. 1 >. upon her. Hut she wouldn't take it. "No, gen'.lemcn,'' sno said, "give it to the poor." She always was just so charitable. She gave my boys permission to go barefooted all wintert Aid insisted upon it so much in her k}ind way, that they could uot refuse. 1. She fairly dotes ooyny children, and I've) seen her many ? time go to their trowsers pocket and tkke out their pen nies after they'd got^ to sleep, und put them in her bureau drawer for fear they might loose them. I started to toll yc-n about my wife's bridal tour, but the fa?tfis, I never could find out much about it myself. 1 believe she had a good time-. She came back improved in health, /and I found out, be.ore she had been iulibe house twenty four hoars, that she had gained in strength also. I don'wsay how I found it out. I simply say I fbuud it out. In conclusion I would\say to all young ! men: Marry your secosd wile first, and keep out of debt by w menus, even if j you have to bonow uio&ey to do it. ttoos$r*er8.?1 The Natur of Koot^Rits.?Roosters according to profane history, if mi cdu kushun remembers me aright, were forui Ij-fcrAv, % '.Wi.".-, who cum suddenly upon one ov the heathen gods. ntjaTime "WTTcYr he wus not prepared tew see company, aud war. for that offence rebuilt over into the first rooster, and waz forever afterwards destined tew crow, nz a kind ov warning. This change from a man nkounts for their fighting abilities, and for their po liteness to the hens. Thare is nothing in a man that a wotnnn admires more than his reddyuess and ability to smash another fellow, und it iz jia so with a hen, When a rooster ^ct.s licked, the heus all march off with the other rooster, if he ain't half so big or h indsutne. It is pluck that wins a ben or a wo man. Roosters d'Kj but very little household work. They won't lay enny eggs, nor try to hatch -?uny, nor ben to the young ones. This satisfy* mc that there is . vuiu i, ... 1. Iwi ? I. - -.:?>. i ^' at okOUOc l>? the rooster's fust origin. Yu knn't git a rooster to pay attcn shun ton young one; tha spend their time in crowing, strutting and occasion ally find a worm, which they make a re markable fuss over, calling their wives from a distance, apparently to treat them but j is az the heus git thare, this elegant and elaborate coxcomb beuds over aud gobbles up the morsel. Just like a man, for all the world.? ./<>.</? ISilh'i'j*. Ru n koii a Moment.?The British ship Britannia was wrecked off the coast of Brazil, and had on board a large con signment of Spanish dollars, lu the hope of saving some of them a number of barrels were br ught ou deck, but tho vessel went to pieces so fast that the only hope for life was in taking at once to the i boats. The lust boat was about to push j off, when a young midshipman went back to sec if any one was still on board. To j his surprise, there sat a man ou deck : with a hatchet in bis bund, with which he. hud broken open several of tbd casks, the contents of which he was now heap ing up ubout him. "What aro you doing there ?" shouted the youth. ;'Don't you know the ship is fast going to pieces ?" "The ship may," said the mnu; '*l have lived a poor wretch all my life, and 1 am determined to die rich." His remonstrances were answered only by a nut her flourish of the butchet, and he was left to his fate. We should count such a person a mad man, but he has too many imitators. Men seem determined to die rich at all hazards. Least of all risks do they count tho chance of losing the soul in the straggle, at any moment at all. Aud yet the only riches we can hug to our bosom with joy in our dying hour, are the riches of graco through Jesus Christ, which wo must mnko ours bofore the dark hour comes. Buckwheat Cakes.?Those are peculiarly ndupted to cold weather. The "?ppotjto craves them, and tlw-y Supply tho system with warmth, to enable it to resist for a long time the feeling of hunger. But they must be made just right, aud hero it> a prime recipe: Make a thin batter with a quart of flour, half a oup of yeast, warm water aud a little aalt Let it rise over night. Bake on both sides on a griddle. A little of the batter left in the rising dish will serve as yeast for the best hath. It is better to add a teaspoon!'.:'! at saleratus before baking in the morning, and it is very essential that this be good aud strictly puro. The Last Morsel. * . ? ftiii m^Hitii vkmM ?> ? <ws < All that remained of the last loaf of bread which widow M-could call her own, was npon the table. Where the next morsel of food was to come from was a question to which the widow her self could not give a ready response. Three little children looked up with love and trust into 'her face, and called her "mother." For six months she had pro vided as best she could, for their many necessities, with her own feeble hands ; but health and strength failed?a severe pain in her chest preventing her from working *o hard. Added to this, but little sewing was to be obtained, and for that little the remuneration was scanty ?a pittance. What was she and her three fatherless little ones to do ? It was a bright day. The gladness of nature was a mockery to her heart. She placed her children aroond the hoard, aud leaving her humble abode, ?hc hied herself to Ureen wood. Tears streamed down her pallid cheeks a: she trod the well-worn track to her husband's grave. The widow startetjfasf "she CaughViigto of a w'hufi -^iKb, newly erected at the head of her lost compan ion's grave. Tt was au honor she had long yearned to pay his memory, but she lucked the means. Who had fulfilled her wishes so pxaetly ? She pressed for ward and read: Sacred to the Memory of S-M-, Who died tireally beloved by All who Knew Him, In the Thirty-third year of his Age. Near the top was carved a Masonic emblem. The woman knelt upon the sod, aud blessed the widow's (_iod for this token of his mercy. "Surely." she thought and murmured aloud, "those who hay<* l.<?n?? ?.? ...:...ic..i -c - dcring ashes of the dead will not be en tirely unmindful of welfare of the liv ing." A strong confidence was boru in her heart. She arose and retraced her steps. "Mamma," said the little ones, totter ing toward her as she approached the door; "a man came here just now, aud left a whole basketful of nice things^ which he says was sent to us, but he would not say who scut them. There is meat and bread, aud tea, and sugar, and I don't know what all ! Haven't wc got kind friends, mamma ?" Now you won't look sad any more. Suro enough, the woman found her pressing necessities relieved, aud supplies were sent her from time to time, and continued for years to be sent. Who were theself-constitutedguardians!' It is unnecessary for us to name them, but we vouch for the tiuth of the story from persoual knowledge.?]'uhir,ay'* Drmwral. Fashion.?Fashion rules the world, and a most tyrannical mistress she is, compelling people to submit to tho most inconvenient things imaginable, for fashion's sake. She pinches our feet with tight shoes, or chokes us with a tight handkerchief, or squeezes the breath out of our body by t'ght lacing. She makes people sit up at nights when they ought to be iu bod, and keeps them in bed in the morning wheu they ought to be up and doing. She makes it vulgar to wait on our peives, and genteel to live idle and useless. She makes people visit when they would rather stay at home, cat when they aro not hungry, aud driuk wheu they arc not thirsty. She invade.? our pleasures and inter rupts our business. Sho compels people to dress gaily, whether upon their property or that of others; whether agreeablo to the word of (5 od or the dictates of prido. Sho ruins the health aud produces sickness, disease fend DOS&sioni death. She makes foolish parents, invalids of children, aud servants of all. Shu is a tormentor of conscience, de spoiler of morality, an enemy of religion, aud uo one can be her companiou and enjoy either. Sho is a despot of the highest grade, I full of intrigue and cunning; and yet husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, sons, I daughters, and servants, blaok and white, voluntarily have bocome her obedient servants and slaves, and vie with one t another to see who shall be moat obsoqu ? i i0us. Protxctiow to Hons Ks ?Many of the beat teamsters protect the breast of their hones by a' piece of cloth nbout t wo feet square, hanging down from the lower end of the collar. This is an ex cellent practice in cold weather, as the moat important part of the animal is con stantly sholtcred from tho cold wind, es pecially when traveling towards a strong current. The forward end of horse blankets should be made as closely around the breast of a horse as our garments St our bodies. Some men have been using horses all their lives on the principle of forcing obedience by the whip, without ever learning the true system of caressing, coaxing nud rewarding by such means as the animal can appreciate. A hand ful of grass snatched from tho roadside and given to your horse when tired, will do more good than a cut With a' whip. Tho horse is not ungrateful, him kindly, and he will serve yc^i'aithfully. He is fond of being patted, and we hhould tuVrc advantage of this trait in his disposition. How to Fit a Collar to a Horse. ?In purchasing a Collar for your horse, it is important to get one that fits him. as both the animal aud yourself will thus be saved much annoyanc-. Tbc Harness and Carriage Journal says ; "The plan ndopted in the West, and which, we are assured by men who have been long in the collar business, docs not injure the collar in the least, is to dip it in water until the leather is thoroughly wet, then put it on the horso, secure the hames firmly, keeping it there until it becomes dry. It is all the butter if heavy loads are to be drawn, as that causes the col I lar to be more cveuly fitted to tho neck and sholder. If possible, the collar sho uld be kept on from four to five hours' when it will be perfectly diy nnd retain the same shape ever afterward, and as ?t-is exactly fitted to the form of the ucca, win never produce onaics or surea ou the horse s neck," A Little 0Irl Buried Alive.? j About-four weeks agon little German! girl iu Broo iyw, Ohio, took sick with the luck-jaw, and in a few days she was thought dead aud buried. Ou the even ing of her burial, the mother, for some reason was led to the grave, and, with her ear pressed close to the ground, thought she heard a noise and believed her child to be moving iu its coffin. She withheld from asking assistance for fear of being ridiculed, and immediately pro* cured a spade uud began to dig up the earth. Soon she came to the coffin, and hurriedly taking it from the earth, open ed it and there found the body of her child nine hours after its burial, as warm as if it were living, ou its side. She took the child to her house, where a phy sician was immediately called in, and every restorative applied to briug the child tu lifo was too late. Tho soul had taken its flight, and iu a few hours more J the body was cold and icy. It was soon buried again, and has not huicc bee . dis turbed ?Buffalo Express. A Washington letter says : "Two rep resentatives of foreign banking bouses (one from London and oue from Frank fort) have arrived in this country for the purpose of making propositions to tho ^overnme^t to negotiate abroad a four and a half per cent, loan, should Con gress authorize it, on tho plan submitted by Secretary Boutv,*cll in his annual re port, nnd which will be considered at an early dny by the Senate Finance Com-1 mittue. 'I hey state that if the interest ! is made payable semi-annuuUy in Lon don, Puris and Frankfort, they will be able to effect the sale of at lct-st two hundred millions of dollars of such a loan. Pending the action of Congress on this question, the terms on which these foreign houses will undertake tho proposed loan will bo submitted to the Secretary of the Troasury. These are of course based ou a commission, which, it is said, will bo much less than was paid for selling the five-twenties. The Coward estate in England, claimed by American heirs, is said to amount to ?150,000,000, and the prospects are be lieved to be good for the rocovery of the entire sum. All the foreign line has be come extinct in the death of William Coward, in England, in 1817. No heirs have appeared, the property was- put in the hands of three trustees to manage 1 for the benefit of future claimants. Some of the heirs cf thii estate are resi ' dent* of Toronto, New Jersey The Lancaster Ledger says : Our able cotemporary of the Fnirfield Her ald advocates a more liberal policy and loss prejudice in political affairs?espe. cially in our own State. He thinks the white people of the State should mieMr^. the weapons eneuufactuaed by the bitter enders in Cougress and tarn them to advantage. There is much sense in the argumenta of the Herald, and we an* free to admit that we agree in seme par ticulars, sad have no abjection to tke experiment being made. If tb<? Statu is to be wrested from the hands of its present unworthy guardians, s nev: aud complete system or plans must short ly be inaugurated. Tha policy of "stand aloof,"^ let them work out their ?wu destruetion/^nwy, and in our judgment?" * will, Imd to our own. The sdvsnccs made in Edgefield recently, where rt-p resentative men of both parties met,*4' eon versed, and parted on better forms, augurs something. It is estimated that ovor oue niiTIhdV "l of sk'Med, workmen sre entirely uut ;;f employment in the United States, with constantly decreasing demand for labnr ets. Hero then is an element iu our midst, fraught ultimately with vital dan ger, not only to our social, but also to our political institutions. Men must have bread, and when pushed to extrem ities, will have it. We have now reach ed that point in carrying out the pro tective tariff policy when it ceases to foster any other interests thau those of the manufacturing capitalists. Large profits obviate tho necessity fur increas ed labor; in the constantly closing mills and furnaces' we find couSrnation of this fact. Four years of the present policy, steadily pursued, will create a i pauper population in this country of fearful proportion, and such is invariably an element of danger. One of the newspapers tells a story of -?? a North Uaroiiuiau woo, nxe tue most of his countryman, was not willing that any thing pertaining to his property, his coun try or his estate should lo?e in the estima tion of strangers for the Want of an impor tant name. He was hailed by a Virginian from the shore of the Roanukc while he was floating with the current in a small flat boat : ''What hsVe you got in your scow, and where are you going ?" Ho jumped up, and, assuming a proud bear ing, answered, "Stranger, this vessel is the Rebecca; and I'm her Captain. Our cargo is fruit and furniture, and wo are bound for ply month and a market." "What kind of fruit ?" "Persimmons." "What sort of fuaniture ?" "Hoop polo." The North Carolinian tlues not stand alone in his vanity. A Liverpool muten vender calls himself usually a "timber merchsnt on a small scale," aud almost every dramshop keeper in Xcw Yn.?k pretends to be an importer of liquors. A niee young Woman called upon sj clergyman one day, and told hiai thae her husband was unkind to her, that he passed nearl* all of his leisure hours away from home, aud that, in short, hi* conduct was rendering her miserable "I thonght, sir," Said she, "as yiu are a good and wise man, perhaps you would advise me What to do, that I might re- ' claim my husband." "Your complaint is not an uncommon one, my good woman," said the pastor, "and I think it is within the reach of a simple remedy." "Ob, tell it to me, and I will bh>, you," said the poor woman. The paster took her hand kindly, ami looking into her face, said, impressively : "Always meet your husband with a smile." ?IS? ?II An English clergyman went to a hate? tO Ottier dinner for A ??..;.?;>< ? of du n n friends. "May I ask, sir," demanded the w.iit or, gravely, "whether the party be High or Low Churoh If "Now, what on earth do my friends' opinious matter to you?" said the ch r gy man. "A great deal, sir," rejoined the \\Mit or, "If High Church, I muat ptvvi.lo more wine, if Low Church, more wit. ties." :? , k)**hH**W u - nail ??? - Know all men by these "presents," is Grant's reply to all seekers of office. As a tanner, Grant was bred, but ?s a statesman, he is doughy iMMfe Jfty Ben. Butler the other ^Sy quoted from the sermon on tho Harp of s> Thousand Strings, crediting it to the Scripture.