to tiara ?i? to KV gm -^r^r^^v-:?^?r^^ VOLUME.* Jt .1 milt *->?w1jwi1 WTf v: BW J Vit _ v?/ \4 b*tJrr>v>r*ti **t?i mAt ntc^a v< totf?#f?rpt ya-W ^otsw ?4t if..-4&? f ====-==: '? -- ? -? GOD ^ljNTT) .u?4 Is. -.a***-;**" Mil SATURDAY - mi i *?;nt A a a r-rfW Vf?' _ TRY. .mM a m*ay*j -? 1 tirvKv.'-iS ra ?' *j V? rfrttrM i-m 1 ***** UGUST 21, 1869. ~'.ea* vv > ' . ^T:^-r~^a*? ,1 ill" icm AUm4&M NUMBER 27. The Impromptu Marriage. ."#or. heaven's sake, Susy, do bo se rious, if you can, for five minutes. Pray, pray, cease this" trifling which is but . cruel playing with my feelings, ami let us treat this subject as it deserves, sober ly and seriously." "Well, there, then !" cried the laugh ing, blackeyed girl to whom Charles West erly spoke. "There, then, is thut grave enough ? See, the corners of my mouth down, aud my eyes rolled" up, and 1 am us sober as u patient who bus caught sriMfrtC-tbe dentist's instrument. Do 1 "You suit mc anyhpw, aud you know it Well, you witch I" cried Charles, ga? ing with a smilo at tho pretty face puck ered up in its affectation of demuroness. But ho was uot to be driven from his point, as he resumed gravely, aft . pause?"The timo has come. Susy, when 1 Atel I have a right to demand an ex plicit answer to my suit. Yon have trifled with my eamest feelings long enough. I have growu restless under my fetters." "Shake them off, then Charley!" h> tcrruptcd the saucy girl, with a defiant toss of her head, which said, "I defy you ? to* do it." "I cannot, Susy, and you know it," ropliod the hapless lover impatiently. -nXka* bciug the ease," said Susy "take my advice?wear them gracefully stud dou't pull and jerk so, it only makes . tthetu hurt you." The young man turned away, and talked up and down the room, evidently ?frotting aud fuming internally. Susy, ?meantime, looked sjut of the window aud .yawned- Charles continued his moody ?walk. ? "Oh !" what a beautiful bird is on the ?lilac tree4'" oricd Susy, suddenly. "Do ;you come and sou It." .Charier, ?Mtcchunicijlly approached the %ti?dd**i?~k>oked ou: ? '*4*?mH you fhiuk, Charley," said Susy inyingher hand on his arm, and looking Wp eagerly iu his face ; ' don't "you think . you could manage to-"? "What, Susy?" usked Charles, all his .tenderness awakened by her manner. "What r ."Drop.a pinch of suit on his back!" returned the provoking girl, with an af fectation of simplicity; for then, you khon, you could easily catch ft ?" His answer \va to turn angrily away. His walk this time wus longer than fcoforc, aud his cogitations were more earnest; for he did uot Weed-any of Susy's wrt fully artless devices to allure his ue * tlce. At last be stepped abruptly before hor, and said : i?**??sy, for three long years without cither confessiou of love or promise of marriage on your part. Often as 1 have demanded to know your sentiments to wards me, you have always coquettbbly refused me an auswer. This state of ? things must cease. T love you 'better thxa say life ; but I will no longer be your plaything. To-morrow you are going away, to be absent for months, and W jou cannot; this 'very day, throw aside jour coquetry, and give me au fiorr t yes' for sn answer, I .shall con ?eider that I have received a 'no* and act ?accordingly." rfJkssd how would that be ? What I^otthf you do?" asked Miss Susy, cu riously. '"?Begin by tearing your false, worth ' A "Yankee story," beard by us some two years, ago iu England, may uot be new to our readers, sind the "texture" seems to show the ets-^SUntie loom. Iu our opinion, however, * is ho good that we are tempted to give it at tbe risk of its being a repetition : Au Auiericau?a . Veritable "Down Easter." and not to be mistaken tor any other stripe?wan riding in au English railway carriage, his sole companion be ing an Englishman, equally unmistaka ble as a typical "John Bull." They were strangers to one another, and had traveled some live milvi.or more without a word passing between thorn. "The '-whistlo" was hoard,- interrupt ing their unsociable m -dictions ; when the Yankee, whose curiosity could not any longer bo kept in restraint, asked what it was for. '?Aw?u\v !" yawned the British.? "Signal we are gawing to stop at a sta tion." Jouathan craned his Deck out of the window, but could sec uo signs of u station. lie said to bis traveling com panion. "I don't see it." '?Of course you cawn't see it," was the reply. "It's more than live mile miles from heaw. Our rni'wnys make such speed, it is absolutely necessary to sound the signal live miles off, to give the en gineer time to stop off his steam, put on the bweak, and suspend the motion. I pwesume you don't make such speed on the other side of the Atwantic t" "Wall, stranger," somewhat tartly re joined Jonathan, seeing that his nation ality waf discovered, "we tnako consid erable time t'other side too.' We tried the whistle, but it wouldn't d? nohow. ] 1 doestiuctly remember traveHfl.' on a train at ween Busting aud the Green Mountings of YarinoyVon which was a conductor who depended on his whistle. \\ al, as we were streaking along, we seed 'bout ten miles ahead a team of oxen and a wagon with their driver whippin' 'em acrosst the rails. Our conductor Ordered the boniest kind of a screech put (?n tho whistle ; and that war the last thing [ hoard 'ccptiu' a all firod smash, that knocked sound out of ury oars, and day-light out of -my eyes. 1 reckon I mus' a been deul for mnrc'n five minute-." "When I kim to my senses agin. I seed the wagon lyin' en the railway track broke up into spokes, tho oxen knocked into squash, and the driver lyin' dead on the top of'em. And besides tho hoi of the railway cars war off the track ; the passengers crushed and squirmin,' ami the conductor lyin' close by the engine, looking as if he had boon drawn and quartered. Jest at that minute the whistle he'd ordered to be sounded 'bout ten miles hack came past; but it came too late. Yes, stranger ; we tried the thing iu tho Stall's. It wouldn't do. Ii wa n t quick enough ; and we arc now using electric lights." John Hull, who as a matter of course was provided with a Times newspaper, made no rejoindor; but unfolding the brond sheet, and raising it so as to hide his ruddy fuce, remained absorbed in its contents during tho rest of the journey. Put A Hole Tknouoii It.?One night Gen.-was out on the lino He observed a light on the mountain opposite. Thinking it was a signal light of the enemy, told his artillery offi cer that a hole could easily bo put through it. Whereupon .the officer, turned to the corporal iu charge of the gun, said : "C, irpnral, do you sec that light ?" "Yes, sir !" "Put a holo through it." The corporal sighted the gun, snd, when all was r?ady, he looked up ml said : "Gen? "Don" tip Erouuh it, anyway Sign Charleston, says: A man wh farm land he notice in on A mn?! w farm was re He replien ^ price of ing in th tbe pum before h JonIi Killings on Biles. Biles arc tbe sorest things ov then size on rockord, nod uz kross tew the touch az a settiug ben, or a dog with a fresh bone. Biles alwas pick out the hnndyest placo ou youre buddy to bild their nest, aud if you undertake to brake them up, it only makes them mad and takes them longer to batch out. There aint no sutcb thing az coaxing, nor driving them away. Tbey are like an impudent bed bug, tbey won't movo, till they hav got their fill. Biles are az old az religion. Job, tbe profit, was the fust champion ov biles, and be is currently reported tew bavu mure biles, and more pashunco to the square inch, than enny one, two very rare things to be found in euuy man. Biles arc very sassy; sumtimcs when ycr go to set dowu tbey will get betweeu ycr aud tbe chair ; that iz one evidence of their ill breeding, and 1 bad one once plaut herself ou the front end ov mi noze, w hich baz a most remarkable piece ov bad manners, for there iz no room ou mi nose enuywhare for a bile, for wheu it is ebb tide with my noze, it covers half of my face. Biles arc sed tew be helthy, and 1 guess tbey am, for I hov seen sum helthy old biles, as big as a hornet's ucst and as full ov stings. J always want to be healthy ? I am willing tew pay the highest market price for a j good deal of helthy?but if I hau to have 2 biles on me. awl the time, in order to be helthy, I should think that I was bulling the market. I There is one more smart thing about biles ; tbey are like twins J they hardly over kum singly, and 1 hav known them throw double sixes. I What! tw dye biles on one man at a time i* This is wus than lighting bumble bees with your summer clothes on. Biles arc sed, by the. educated and eorreet spellers of tbe land, to bean operasbuu of ndcher to get rid of sum thing wich she wants to spare. This is so. without doubt, but it doii't strike me as being a very polite thing iu iiacber to sbuv opb her bile outo-other folks. I say, let everybody take care of their own biles. There is a time in their career wheu tba konscutrutc mil the pathos ov joy that, a man has on band to spare, and that iz?when tbey bust ! This is the calm after the Storni ; the wedding day of patience ami joy; this iz the christen ing of hope, the inistiek hen that lays 2 eggs a day ; this is buttur on your sassiiges. ICxil bile... Responsibility.?A young man in Virginia had become, sadly intemperate. He was a man of great capacity, fascina tion, and power, but be had a passion for brandy which nothing could control. Often in his walks a friend remnustrated with bin in vain; as often in turn would he urge bis friends to take the social glass. On one occasion tbe latter agreed to yield to bun. and as tbey walked up to the bar together, the bar-keeper said : ' Gentlemen, what will you have?" ? Wine, sir." The glasses were filled, and the friends stood ready] to pledge each other in> re newed and eternal friondship, when he paused and said to his intcmpciate friend; "Now if I drink this glas? nnd b*?r>oni?? a drunkard, will you take the responsi bility ?" The drunkard looked at him with so- 1 verity, ami said : "Set down that glass It was s?jl down and the two walkej away without saying a. Word. Oh! tbe drunkard kn.ows tho awful consequences of tl first glass. Even in his ow.i mad: agj for liquor, he is not wilting '.o assume tho responsibility of ??'Cither's becoming a drunkard. W hat if the question* were put to ?very dealer, us he asks for hia license und pays money : "Aro you willing to assume the responsibility ?" How many would say, if tho love aud gain of money did not rule, "Take back your license ?" Exhibiting Calves.?Now that the strong-minded women propose so serious ly to wear trowsors or pantaloons, fashion is seeking to revive for men's wear, in Knglnnd, fhe_?to? style of koeebreeohes. Not n bad idea'for'tvefl-Hritbed-ge'rffleniQn, but what are'tho spindle shanked to do, unless they take lessons in padding from the ladies of ' he "nude drama?" In that case, calf-dressing will not be confined, as an art, to the veal butohere ?. ... ...-_-??*?/??:???? ? Recovery or a Lost Uaa^h?mj Rim. Tiiuouoit njE; 1 >hkam of a Nwjro Girl.?A few nights ago, a lady, while taking a pleasure walk with her infant child along Jefferson street, lost a valu able diamond ring from her finger in - some anacconnteblo way.' Diligent end extensive search was made throughout . the neighborhood, but without any clew to the ring, and the lady gave it up as gone "for good and all." Before day light the following morning the lady was surprised by the calls of her nurse, a small negro girl. On being admitted to her mistress, the girl, who had not heard of tho ring being lost, said she hr.d just had a dream, iu which she was apprised when, where aud how the jewel had been lost, and that if allowed she felt s ire she could find it. She then described the plaee and manner in which the ring disappeared, and begged her mistress to I go with her and tes;t the dream. This j strange e'reunistanee was made known to the house hold, but all treated it with the utmost incredulity. It was afterward coucluded to humor the girl, however, and she and several white members of the family proceeded to tbe desiguated spot, more than lot) yards from the house. Here the dreamer told her mis tress that as directed in her dream, she must drop another ring, and it would roll as a guide tc tho missing ouc. A plain gold ring was handed the girl; she let it fall, and sure enough it rolled and stopped within two inches of the lost diamond ring, which bad got iuto a crevice between two biicks of the pave ment. It may be imagined that the ring huuters were somewhat astounded at the miracle. They did uot pause to inquire whether or not the girl was influenced by the anticipated eclipse, but she obviously eclipsed all the little niggers they had seen. Her own astonishment was greater than that of all the rest. Our informant avows that there is not tho least fiction about this curious dream and its lucky result.? Luuisr!M>- Coupler Journal. The I>asck.--What a strange thing! this dancing is. after all. when you look I at it from a philosophical, or, if you please, unsophisticated point of view. The other day, Insulanus asked a lady bow it came to pass that the entrance upon tbe floor of the ball-room made such a wonderful change in her usual manners and habits. She asked him what he meant, as she did not understand He asked her. "Suppose T'introduced y?>u to a friend of mine, a stranger, and he would not only" take your hand, but put bis arm around you, what would you do?" You may imagine her look and answer. What would she do? All our holy readers know what they would do. aud what the father, husband, or brother of such a lady would do.?"l>ut," said Insulanns, "as soon as you enter the room of the "hop' or ball, you permit n stranger who is introduced to you at the time, not only t one rmidi W+mnfm ?aal antu ad* ta*tf Books in the Old Testament^* JwHk nflftufr ('t,nr^-?. at, ?i jiHulaw #2ft?f Verses.,., 23,214 Words,...f.........y 592,43? Letter;:. .%i5S,itO Hooks in the New Testament,_..... VI Chapters,. Nt--* Verses,... .a4, . .tWtft.. s?sit_tt>.7,9ft Wh.de number of worts in the Bi_>Io, 3,718,055. s*J le o--?l*i ajsw> asrtlstaanv? *n? The middle,chapter, aud the least in the Hibls^s^a^jLU.^, The middle verse is the 8th of Psalm . 117. The worJ^a'nff^^fcrtff'H^^W-^ Tesbmetit^-W^t?*'.' U The same in the New Tcataoaeat^ also 1 occurs 10,643 times. M j^. a^'J ?Jj Tlie word .Jehovah occurs 6855 tirres. - The middle hook of the Old Tcsta t ? ! satiT a, a^h?* h*an mcnt is Proverbs. The middle chapter is Job 29**'s"w***1r** The middle verse is 2d Chronicles, chapter 20, 17th verse. wrvwj The least verse is 1st Chronicles, chap ter 1, and .1st verse. The middle book in the New Testa ment is 21 Thessalonians. Th? middle chapters are Romans 13 ami 14. **?'??' ??K-^Thrt *u kt.^M The middle verso is Auti 17, 17th verse. , t^c*? The least verse is. John 9, 35th verse. Tb?.- 21st verse, chapter 1, of Ears, has all the letters of'"'.e alphabet. The 19th chapter of 2d Kings; and chapter 37 of Isaiah, are both alike. |. -??? 11 ? " . Wygi.Afap*a*a?_^ A Young Man Takes a Two Yea as Nap, Awakens, and Asks, 'Ts Bkkak fast Ready?"?We are informed that a young man living in the lower part iff (his County Was taken sick about two . years'ago, and tell into a deep sleep, from which . he only awoke about.two weeks since. The first expression be made use of on coining to. was, uIs break fast ready '?" j?st as though he bad been asleep but one night. A physician bad ; been attending on him all the time, and. happened iu just after be awoke. On walking up to the bed. he called the pa tient by name, remarking that "You must f el better, as your cheeks have more color ;" to which he replied, by asking, ' Who are you?" On being informed that he was a phyaieiau who bad been attending him constantly for two years, he could hardly believe his senses Pining his sleep he was fed regularly with spoon victuals, as though be was conscious. He is now up, enjoy ing good health,, and busily engaged in ? trying to get tbo events of the last Uvo years posted up iu his mind, tliat he may unite them with the past and present. He has a distinct recollection of evcry thing up to the time of bis going id sLep. We have beard no explanation ' of this case of Rip Van WtnkJetsav [MiKiis'j,! (Iiul.) Courier, ZStktth. at 6i *adi' tmtmK A tt k m it f. r> S i: IC 11> E.?A man >nacqed Price, from (jirecne county, Va , attempt ed suicide at the 0 veenbrior White Sul phur Spring-, a f.-w days ago, liy ?erJ.tiag his throat with a razor on the lawn. An account in the Alexandria Gazette says: There wore a number of persons in full view, -but the attefitTou ?of* Oft*. * Wise was first attr^o.^r^****^ I nv*n -was really attempting. Uea. R. L. Walker and others at once ran to him and snatched the razor from his hand. His throat was very seriously lacerated, but it is not thought Quit doatb will re sult. The unhappy man* bad brought' here for exhibition a*toaowfeh the print of a child's foot cm it, found some dm* ago in Modisqa^aouiity But as few per sons hud sufficient curiosity tfi see it to pay for the privilege, the ad venture Was unprofitable. The disappointment, with perhaps ??known causes b?*fes, led to the desperat* attempt.>-*fc: V. vt*< A young girPnnniad.lb.try, ab?mt 15. year* of age was raped in Bcutoo County, Indi. in, several days ago and died from the effects of her injuries. The man, whose name our exchange does not give, subsequently suicided, by taking poison, upon heaiing of the .death of tbe peot. girl be had c-rully outraged.