The Orangeburg news. (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, July 03, 1869, Image 1
- T}ie Diggnised Heiress.
Ml . 1 _
?ftUs Vornon sat thoughtfully at her
"window plunged in doep thought. This
siced Dot be wondered at, for the question
''upon which she wos pondering affected
Iser deeply.
She was an heiress, having coipe into
possession, at her majority, of fifty thou
aand dollars. Sho was prepossessing in
her appearance, and this, as was natural
. added to the report of hor wealth, which,
as usual was considerably exaggerated,
brought her suitors in plenty. Among
them she made choice of William Winsor,
and in a few weeks thoy were to bo mar
ried.
William was engaged in the wholesale
clothing business, aud had the reputation
- of being n sharp and active man of business,
j He was of good appcarnuco, and as fur us
Could be judged, was a good innteh even
for the heiress. Nothing to his preju
. dice had come to her cars until the day
before. A poor woman hud come to the
door in evident poverty, and asked for
relief. On being questioned, she said
she had been employed making shirts at
twelve ccuts apiece for wholosalo deal
ers?that after making a dozen and car
rying them to the store, she had been
roughly told that they were spoiled and
that nothing would be paid her for her
Work; but she might have somo more it
che would agree to make them better.
She added that this was one of the ways
in which the firm made money out of
poor work women, by pretending that
the work Wits unsatisfactorily done when
really no fault could be reasonably found
with it.
I The sum, small as it was, of which sho
had beeu dofrauded, was nil important to
d licr as it represented nenrly a week's
work.
"Only a dollar and forty-four cents for
? week's work," exclaimed Miss Vemon
in dismay.
??How then, do you live7"
"It can hardly be called living. It's
Just barely keeping body and taul to
gether." said the poor old woman.
"And who is this extortioner that first
offers you starvation wages, und then de
frauds you even of them?" ntked Miss
Vernon indignantly.
"William Wiusor."
"Who?" demanded Miss Vernon.
quickly.
"William Winsor."
?4I cnu hardly believe this. I know
the gentle in a u."
?'It is true, and you will find it to be
*>."
"I will investigate the matter. Here
is five dollars for your present needs.
Come here to-morrow at this time and I
may have somo work for you to do."
The poor woman departed invoking
blessings upon the heiress.
"I will look into this," said Margaret
Vernon resolutely, "and if it proves true
the engagement between William Winsor
and myself shall be broken. 1 will not
|{ive myself to such a man."
??Nancy," said Miss Vernon the next
morning to the chambermaid, "have 3*ou
an old dress and shubby cloak and bou
not you can leud me ?"
"I have got some that are so pool1 that
t am not going to wear them ng.nin,"
said Nancy, surprised nt smdi an inqui
ry.
"Will you lend them to me ?"
"Of course, Miss ; but what would the
tikes of you wnut of such old clothes ?"
"A little fun, that, is all," said Miss
Vornon. "I nm going to disguise my
self, and see if 1 can't deceive some
body."
With this explanation Nancy was eon
tent and produced the clothes. Miss
Vernon put them on, aud iu uddition
borrowed from another of the ser
vants, a thick green veil, sontowhut the
Worse for wear, and then set out on her
mission. No one in her disguise would
havo recognised the usually elegantly
dressed heiress, Mi?B Margaret Vernon.
Miss Vernon slipped out of the bnsc
mcnt door and took her way to a largo
store, on which wns inscribed the name
William Winson in large gilt letters.
She entered und after awhile a clerk
spoke to her iu a rough voice:
??Well, what do you want V*
'?I want to get some work," she said
in a low voice.
"We can give you some shirts."
"Anything."
?'Can you sew woll V
"I think so."
A wait dozen ihirte were given to
Miss Vernon, and she was informed that
if sutisfuctorily done, she would fee .paid
twelve cents apiece. These she carried
home slipping in at the back door.
Two hours later tho poor woman
called.
"Hero are some shirts for you to
make," said Miss Vernon.
?'Why ; thoy arc the same as I havo
been making," said the woman in sur
prise. ,
"Tlmt is true, and tboy came from the
same place."
"Am I to bring them back tboro ?"
"No, you will bring them hero. I
will pay for tho work when done, double
the j-.rico you have been receiving."
"Thank you, Miss; you are very
kind."
"Sew them as neatly as you possibly
can. I wish to sec whether thoy wdl be
rejected as poor work."
"Yes, Mips Vernon, I will take pains
with them."
Three days later the poor woman re
turned with the work completed. Miss
Vernon paid her for them, and requested
her to call ngtiin tho next day.
"Nancy," said the heiress, after her
protege had departed, "I shall wish to
borrow your old clothes again."
"Certainly, Miss," said Nanny, "if it
is not nshauicd yuu are to appear in such
rags."
"No one will know mc, Nancy."
"Sure, Miss, you can take them when
ever you like."
"I don't think I shall need tbem
agnin. Nancy, but I thank you all the
same."
Not long afterwards Miss Vernon, in
her shabby disguise, entered the estab
lishment of William Wiusor, with tho
bundle of shirts uudcr her arm.
She went to the couuterand laid them
down.
"What have you got there," demand
ed a pert young clerk
"Some work, sir, said Miss Vernon,
humbly.
, ?\V\-11, Ovu'i j >ju uj;m lim Imiu
die !" said tho young man, picking his
teeth with bis knife.
Miss Vernon did so.
The yonng man dcigued to tumble
over the shirts, glancing at them care
lessly.
"Shocking ! shocking !" be said.
"What's the matter, sir V
"They're wretchedly sewed, that's
what's the matter. How do you ex
pect we are going to sell such shirts as
these
"\ am sure T thought they were well
done," said Miss Vernon.
"You thought, did }*ou ?" repented the
elerk. mocking her. "Well, I think dif
j ferently, and that's all about it. We
shan't pay you for these shirts. They
will have to be sold at a loss.
"But what shall I do?" asked Miss
Vernon, in seeming distress.
"That's your business, not mine. We
will try you once more, and give you
another half dozen shirts. If they are
done better, you will be paid for tbem."
"These are done well," snatching the
bundle from the counter, "and I will
show tbem to your employer."
To the indignation of the elerk, who
was not used to such independence in
the poor women who worked for the es
tablishment, Miss Vernon took the shirts
to another part of tho counter where she
saw William Winsor himself.
"Mr. Wiusor," she said, "your clerk
will not pay me for these shirts. He
says they ard not well dono."
Mr. Wiusor took up'one and pretend
ed to examine it.
"No, it is poorly done. Wc can't pty
you for these, but you may have another
bundfo, Und, if they are satisfactory, you
will then be paid."
"Didn't I tell you so ?" said the elerk
triumphantly. "Now, young Woman,
bow much did you make by that opera
tion V*
"More than you think perhaps," said
Miss Vernon, quietly.
"Do you want any work ?"
"No, don't, wish any," she said.
"Oh ! you arc on your high horse arc
you ? Well you may b? glad to gr*t
work some day when you can't have it."
That evening was the one which Wil
liam Winsor usually spent with his bc
trothod. Wheu he was introduced, ho
went forward, warmly as usual, to greet
Miss Vernon.
She drew back coldly, and did not of
fer her hand to grasp his.
"What is the matter, Margaret I" ho
asked, surprised and startled. "What
havo I done to entitle me to such a re
ception f" -
"My hand has taken yours for the last
lime, Mr. Wiusor," said Margaret
"Good I leavens ! What is the mean
ing of all this ? Margaret, explain your
self, I cannot understand it."
"I cannot take the hand of one who
grows rich by defrauding poor women
out of their scanty earnings."
"Who says this of mo ? Some ono has
been slandering mo. Confront mo with
my accuser. There is some mistake
hero."
"1 will do as you desire. Wait five
minutes."
Miss Vernon left the room, and soon
entered in her disguise.
The young mau strodo up to her an
gr'y
"Are you tho ono that has slandered
nie to Miss Vernon ?" he demanded.
"I told her the truth !"
The young man reflected. Violent
contradiction ho saw would not avail
him ; ho would try another course.
"Hark, you, young woman," ho said,
in a low voice, "there is a mistake. 1
will make it up to you richly. 1 will
give you ten dollars on the spot, and all
tho work you want at doublo rates if you
will tell Miss Vernon it was all a mis
take.
Too late, Mr. Wiusor, said the veiled
figure, throwing up her veil and showing
the contemptuous face of Margaret Ver
non. Your bribe is offered in vain.
Good oveuiug, sir.
Confused and astonished, William
Wiusor found his way to the door and
has uovcr ventured to enter the house of
the heiress *inco. Ho was paid for his
meanness in his own coin.
Joy in tho House of Ward.
Dkar Suua:?I take my pen in hand j
to inform yu that line in a state of grate
blis and trust these lines will ftud yu in
joyin the same blessins. line rejuvena
tid. Ivc found the immortal waters of
youth, so to speak, nud am as limber and
as frisky ns a 2 yer old steer, & in the
titter them boys which see ??grf'np old
bald bed" to me, will do so at the Perril
of their hazzard individnoally. lino
powerful happy. Heaps of joy has de
sendid upon mo to onct & I feel
like a bran new man. Sometimes 1 ursk
myself ' is it not a dream V He Mithin
within myself scz "it air;" but when 1
look at them sweet little critters I know
its a roollcrty?2 rcallorty's I may sa?
& I feel gay. There's considerabul hu
man natur in a man, art er all.
I returned from the summer Cam pane
with my unparalelcd show of wax works
and livin wild Beests of Pray in the ear
ly part of this munth. The people of
Baldinsvillc met me cordully and 1 im
mejitly commeust rcstin myself with my
furuierly. The other nite wile I wuz
down to the tuvuru tostin my shins agin
the barroom Uro ?.V. amnziu the krowd
with sum of my adventure, who shood
cum in bare heded nud terrible excited
but Bill Stokes, who sez, sez he, "Old
Ward there's grate doius to your house."
Sez, 1, ' William, how so '("
Scz he, "Bust my gizzard, but it's
doius" & then he larfcd ns if heed kill
himself.
Sez I, risiu and puttin on an oust cor
look. "William, 1 wouldunt be a fool if
1 had common cents."
But he kept on lariiu till he was black
in tho fuce, when he fell over on the
bunk wharc the hostler Bleeps, and in a
still small voice scd "Twins I" 1 ash uro
yu gents that the grass didn't grow un
der my feet on my way home, & I was
fdlorcd by a enthoosiastic throng of my
fuller sitterzuns, who hurrard for old
Ward at the top of their voices. 1 found
the house chock full of people. Thare
was Mia Square Baxter and her three
grown up dartors, lawyer Perkinses wife,
Taberthy Uiplcy, young Eben Parsuns,
I Deakuu Simmons folks, the Schoolmas
ter, Doctor Jordiu, etecttcry, ctsottcry.
Mis Ward was in the west room which
jincs the kitchen. Mis Squuro Baxter
was mixin suthiu in a dipper before the
kitchen fire, & a small army of females
withiu were rusbin wildly round the
house with bottles of camfirc, peaces of
flanuil, &c. 1 never seed sieh a hubbub
in my natural born ease. 1 eood stay in
tho west room only a miuit, so strung
up was my fcclins, so I rusht out und
ceaaed my dubbel barrild gun.
"What upon airth ales the man?" scz
Tabcithy Uipley. "Sakes alive, what
air yu doin & she grabd me by the
coat tales. "Whats the matter with
yu'(" sho contiunerd.
"Thino, tunrm," sez I "twins !"
"I know it," sea she, covering hor
face with her apnn.
"Walt," sei I, "thata what's t i mat
ter with mc !"
"Wall put down thair gun, yu peaky
old lool." sod sho.
"?inarm/" sez I, "this is a Nnshunal
day. Tho glory of this hero day is not
confined to Buldinsville by a darn site.
Ou youder woodsh?ds," sed I draw in
myself up to my full lute and speaking
in a show action voice, "will I fire a Na
shunal sulootl" saytit whitch I tare my
self from her grasp and rusht to [the top
of tho shed, where blazed away until
Square Baxter's hired man and my son
A; tennis Junoyor cum aud took me
dowu by maue forse.
On rcturnin to tuo kitchiu I fuuud
quite a lot of people seated be4 tho fire,
tulkin tho cveut over. They made room
lor mo & I sot down.
'?'Quite u eppisodc'-* sed Doctor Jordin,
?t.in his pipe with aieu hot coal.
"Yes," sod I, 2 oppisodes waying
about 18 poundsjintly?'
"A perfeek coop ; do tut," sod the
skooltnaster.
"E pluribus unutt); in-'proprietor pcr
sony," sed I, thinkin Ide let him kuow
that 1 understood rutrin lanwidges as
well as he did, if I wasn't a skoolmns
tor.
"It is a momentous event," sed young
Eben Pursuits, who^had been 2 quarters
to the Akadetny.
"1 never heard 'twins called by that
natne afore," sed l^"but L sposc its all
rite."
"We shall soon liavc Wards enuff,"
said the editor of the Ualdiusville Bugle
of Liberty, who t'as looking over a
bundio of cxchtu?ge4|>ap^r.s in the corner,
?to upply to the Legislator fur :i City
Charter.
"Cood for you, oli man," sed 1, "give
that a eonspickius iplace in tho nest
bugle."
"How redieklus/' sed pretty Susan
Fletcher, covern her face with her kuitin
work & latfin like gasest.
"Wall, for my pcrtt''sed Jane Maria
in the world, "I think yu'al act like a
paek of fools."
Scz 1, "Miss rcascley, air yu a par
ient?"
Scz she, "No, I ain't."
Scz 1, ??Miss Pcttseley, yu never will
bo."
She. loft.
We sot there talkin & larfin until the
switchin hour of uito, when ?rave yards
yawing & gosta troop -Ith. as old Dill
Shakspire nptlee obsarves in his drome
of John Sheppard, csip, or tho Mara I
House Breaker, when We broke up &
disbursed.
Muthei & children is doin well; & as
Rcsolushuus Is the order ol the day, 1
will fuel oblee^ed to ye if yule insert
the folleiu ?
Whereas, two Eppisodes has nppi ared
the undcrcincd'rt house, which is Twins;
it Whereas 1 like this ?stile, sadc Twins
beiu of the male pcrswashun & both boys;
there 1 Be it.
Resolved) That to them nabcrs that
did the fare by snde eppisodes my hart
felt thanks is doO.
Resulocdt That I il? most hurtily thank
Kisjine Ko. No. 17, who under the im
prcsshun from the fuss at my house on
that hauspishus nite. that there was a
kohflagashun goin on, kum gallantly
to the spot but kindly rofruncd Iroui
squirtin.
Reso'vcd, That from the bottom of my
sole I thank the Bnldinsville brass band
far given up the idea of Saranadin me,
both on that nite & si use.
Resolved, That my thanks is doo to
several members of the B.iUi Bitillo meetin
house, who for dasc haiot kallcd me a
sinful skofTer or intrcctcd me to mend
my wicked waso and jine snid meet in
house to onct.
Revolved, That m)- Buzzum teems
with mcny kind cmoshuns torus the
follcrin individouls, to whit nntnlec?
Miss Square Baxter, who Jenerusly
rofoozed to tuko a sent far a bottle of
enmfire; Inwver I crkinses wifo who rit
sum vorsis on the klppisodcs; the editor
of the Baldinsvillc Buglo of Liberty, who
nobly assisted me in wolupin my Kangc
roo, which sngushus little cuss seriously
disturbed the Eppisodes by his out
rajns screachins ami kickins up; Mis
Hirum Doolittle who kindly furnished
sum cold vitth-s at my house; & Wnt
8unscs fur their mcny ax ol kindneso.
Troolv yurcs.
Artemus Waud
The scenery and baggage t>f Whit
man's opera troupe were seized by the
attaches of the concern, at Memphis, on
Tuesday. The hotels anJ press wore
victimized as usual.
Sillium Thoughts*
BY JOSH BILLINGS.
The fear of God iz tho pilosophy of re
ligion ; the lovoof God iz the charity ov
religion.
Hope iz a hen that lays more eggs
than she kan hatch out.
Bettor leave your child virtcw than
money ; but this iz a sckret known only
tew a few.
I honostly belcavc it iz better tow
know nothiug than'tew know what aiu't
so.
About the hardest work a phellow kan
do iz tew spark two gals at once, and
preserve a good average.
Prudery is one of virtew'a bastards.
A nick name will outlive ouny man
or thing ; it iz like the crook in a dngg's
taile?you may cut it off and throw it
behind the barn, but the crook iz there
yet,, aud the stump iz the epitaph.
If you nnalize what most men cull
plczure, you will fiud it composed ov one
part humbug and two parts pain.
When you hain't got nothing to do,
do it at once ; this iz the way to bo biz
zy.
We have been told that the best way
tow ovcrkum misfortunes iz tew fight
with tbem. I hav tried both ways, aud
recommend a succcsstul dodge.
The art of becoming ov importance in
the eyes ov others iz not to over-rate our
sell', but tew cause them tew do it.
The true way to understand the judg
ments of Heaven is to submit to them.
Method iz everything, espcshily tew
ordinary men ; the lew who kan litt a
tun at plez/.uro hav a divine right tew
take holt ov it tew a disadvantage.
Tho mind ov man iz like a piece ov
land, that, tew be useful, must be ma
nured with learning, pluughedjwith ener
gy, sown with virtcw, nud harvested with
oLi>u/Mnv ? A , ^
-WIYeTe religion iz^trady*. n^J^jL[
a roorchuudizo.
C'onvcrsashun should be ?.nliveuod
with wit, not composed ov it.
. The less a man knows the more he
will guess at ; and guessing iz nothing
more thnn suspicion.
doing tew law iz like skinning a now
milch cow for the hide, and giving the
meat tew the lawyers.
Heath tew most ov us, iz a kind ov
"farewell benefit"?"positively our last
appearance."
Phools arc quitQ often like hornets?
very bizzy, but what about the Lord on
ly knows.
Living on hope iz like living on wind;
a good way tew git phull, but u poor way
tew git phatt.
Jealousy don't pay?the best it kan do
iz tew discover what we don't want tew
lind, nor what we don't expect to.
Sekrets are a mortgage on friendship.
I don't think a bad man iz az danger
ous az a weak one. I don't think a bile
that haz cum tew a bed iz az risky az a
bidden one. that may cum tew a d >zen
beds.
A vivid imnginashun iz like sun
glasses?make things at a distance look
twice az big az they am, and cluss tew,
twice az small az they am.
Hope iz a draft on futurity, sometimes
honored, but generally extended.
If the world despises a hypokrit. what
must they think ov him in Heaven't
Flattery iz like Kolono water?tew be
smcltt ov. not swallowed.
After all, there don't seem tew be but
this difference between thewize men and
phools?the wizo men are all fuss and
sum feathers, whilo the phools nre nil
fuss and no feathers.
Without friends and without cnomys
iz the last reliable nckount we hav ov a
stray dog.
Men generally, when they whip a mule,
swarc ; tho mule remembers the swaring,
but forgits the licking.
Sum folks woiiil -r whnrc awl the lies
cum from, but 1 don't; ono good liar
will pisin a whole country.
Hunting after fame is like hunting
after fleas, hard tew ketch, and suro tew
make you uneazy if yu do or don't ketch
them.
Menny people spend their time tricing
tew lind the hole whnrc sin got into this
world. If two men break through the
ice into a mill-pond, they had hotter
hunt for sum hole tow git out, rather
than git into a long argument about the
hole they cum tew fall in.
Imagiuashuu, tew much indulged in,
soon is tortured into reality ; this is ono
wny that good hoes thief's are made?a
jnau leans o\ zr a Jeuce ail day ??d imag
ines the boss iu th-i lot belongs tew him,
and sure enuff, tho fust dark nite, the
hoss dues. *
If you must chaw terbackcr, young
man, for Heaven's sake, ehaw old plugg;
it iz the nnstyost.
A Crabb-ed Affair.
Many years ngo, a man named Crabb
petitioned tho Legislature of Massachu
setts to change his name, aa his lady-love
bad refused to marry him while he went
by so uulovcly a cognomen. Ho was
unsuccessful, and the parting interview
between him and tho idol of his affec
tions was as follows :
Mr. Isaac Crabb, dejected and des
pairing, proceeds to the home of his dul
cinen, aud knocks at the door with a
trembling hand : and, while ho is wait
ing for it to be opened, he fancies he
hears her say,
"If you are Mr. Crabb. stay out."
Presently ho is admitted. His loved
one, with a doubtful expression of coun
tenance, says :
"Am I to address yo? us Mr. Harri
son or Mr.-, oh ! oh ! I cannot speak
the odious name?or Mr.-"
"Crabb, madamc,?my name is still
Crabb but will you, my love, still per
severe in denying it, will you-"
"Don't sidle up to me. I can't bear u
critter that goes sideways: keep your
claws oft."
Oh! cruel, cruel! Oh ! shall uoyoung
Crabbs crawl upon our knees, aud ?hure
our affections and our kisses !
"No, i'ii have uo such critters poking |
bout me."
"But why should a mere name sepa
rate two persons whose hearts arc uni
ted"
"Any other-Bamo I could abide, but
to think'of sleeping with a Cr-"
" We shall both bo Crabbs together."
''No wo sh^u't, oither."
*'Ib th>t you: ultimat um ' T^^r?VrV^e
-rVew^fl^^ ' woman ;
farewell unfeeling legislature; farewell
prejudiced, unfceliug world; farewell all
my joys and delights of matrimony?in
continently will T drown myself; I will
make my bed in the deep water with my
fellow crabs :'
Th?u all yblovers, when you go
A fishing to tho sen,
And find a crab (h) upon your hook :
Then think oh, think of uic.
i died because i was a Crabb,
My love was crabb-cd too;
And yet she would not be a Crabb
For all thut 1 could do.
O, Crabb-od fate? above my bones
There rests no marble slab?
1 lie beneath the earth ami stones
A poor, forgotten Crabb.
A Tkution on Liberty.?Said a ro
bust Teuton to me one morning: "Vats
you tiuks apout dis ttug vot you calls
liberties ?"
"Liberty, my friend is a great institu
tion," I replied.
"Veil, dat's vot I tinks. I yust cooms
to dese country for te liber?oi. Vcu I
counts here to dis city de beoplcs say nix
no peer; den 1 says no liberties. Vot
you tinks of dat, hey?"
I told him that if he was dissatisGed
with the laws of our country he would
enjoy his glorious liberty and go back to
where he came from; to which be re
plied :
"Dat's yoost what 1 do. Vcn I no
qots mine litter I leaves do country."
Proof of Rationality.?A man re
siding in a New England town, at some
distance from a near relative, received a
message one cold evening in December,
to hasten to his residence, as he was in n
dying state. When he arrived, he was
told that his relative was a little better,
but thnt his reason had entirely left him.
The sick man presently turned his head,
saying in n faint voice :
"Who is that?"
He wns informed that it was his rela
tive.
"Oh, ah," said ho, "yes, yes. Ho must
be cold. Make him a good wurm toddy
?yes a toddy."
"I guess ho ain't crazy," said the visi
tor to tho friends standing round ; "he
talks very rntionnl."
-?^??^7. ?-?-^??? ?
Velocipedes are a drug iu the New
York markot. $70 machines won't briug
at auction ovov ?12.
The ioo manufactured in Now Orlci.ns
stands exposure to the sun longer than
Vho natural article.
The London Standard hoa an editorial
on whs: it e^tlls far "Musical Teredo
at Boston,
NoRTHEBN MEN AT THE fyHT&g~
We copy the following from an account
of the recent Illinois Proas excursion,
published in the Illinois Stale JUoitter,
Ht Springfield.
The talk about Northern
being permitted to live in that
is all twaddle. It is not true. lTW'V?
can readily assert of our own t{??lWal
knowledge of sovcral cases in pomt/fffifre
persons known to be avowed Radieaifc^n
politics went South to live and ruake,it
tneir future home, conducted themselves
as good citizens, which they are, and no
people were ever received w4th more
cordiality and kindness, and none -would
do these same .Radicals an act of ktutd*
oess more readily than the native Souther
ner. They arc anxious Jthat people Jrgm
the North shall come to their co?ntjy
and become part of it, but they very
naturally want ruon, not the scum and
refuse of the North who leave-their
country for their country's gcod.nSufw
Wiiat Become* ?v ^ali, tu% PSXkl
?A sagacious question very 'often ask?ed
aud very difficult to answer. OT'rne
millions of pins that ?seap<J"<is iW'ikiS
metropolis alone, how few.- .lIOffltFT
picked up. Bp the fairies.take thftm?
A pin, though small, is not n Tery.Mr
ishablc article, but it Las a marvelous
ajititudc to make aWay with itself. jBtot
even larger pieces'of metal in7!Jfriiy4fe?
manage to disappear. There a*flM:|>e
tens of thousands of horseshoes idfpp|y>d
in IiOiid'ju in ihe cpuisu uf the y ear,- yet
how rarely they are seen. This ifl nil the
more remarkable, inasmuch as* nT is
considered lucky to pick: them up*,' tfiere
fore, people arc on t he look out for t!hebl.
There) is a great demand for the nail* by
which, they are fastened, u\ ^h?.Wftftu"
I^cturuig world. Tbc bauging..tlwyjia,ye
sfu'ob twist Bavr&Tsr
the s.-ime malleability could not bo giv;j
to thb iron in some quicker and Juore
simple manner than the traffic of horses'
- mttm >v <
A Newspaper.?We heard a gentle
man on yesterday conversing about news=
papers, and stating how he would fix ujp a
local columu. Well wo wish wc could satis
fy all. Frequently ourjcolutnn is too long,
often it will be too short. Some 8&f ttfat
wc do not have jokes enough, others that
we have too many. Ouc thinks an ar
ticle too lotjg, another too short, One
would have poetry, auother none at^sdh
Now wc are aware that the local should
be uew. and fresh, vigorous and energetic,
like a fish just caught out of a stream
and placed in a frying pan?it is known
to bo wholesome and sweet. A loeal
column should be like a turtle, containing
all kinds of meat. It should bo like the
Mussulman's hog, which was devoured
from "tail to snoutj" Between ourfelvos)
local news just now is a little dull ifr&ir
city.?'Atlanta InicU iff sneer.
-???.,-,,?I, -, ,
A Chicago Bohemian is to reciev?
81,500 for a play he is writing.
A shower of little clams iu the'shell
fell in Delaware Couuty, Pa., last 3fWk.
A new Jersey woman first thrashed
her daughter's lover, aud then told him
to tako her and be happy.
Two negroes at Delaware, Ohio, !l*e*
ccntly got into a quarrel about a jewB
harp, when oue shot the other.
An American wedding is soon to come
off in Paris, a clergyman having been
imported from this side expressly fco^tic
the knot.
One man in Naples, Cal., tecently ship
ped 20,000 gallons of wine and brandy,
the produce of his vineyard.
President Grant was permitted to vio
late the rules of the Coliseum and puff
his favorite Havana.
A brido of six weeks in West Virginia,
while walking through tho woods withher
husband, was instantly killed by a falling
tree. " '
New York churches have tho contribu
tion boxes passed around by handsome
yoUng ladles, and it pays handsomely *
A bushel and a half of Greenbacks
were taken in at one of the doors ot the
Coliseum one day last week.
The Buke Hamilton, Eugenio's cousin,
has been outlawed from the Tuilcrics.
Ills latest sensation was delirium tre
mens,
Mr. and Mrs. Mansfield wer? ?cfcnaiU
ted to tho Iowa bar on tho same day last
week.
A l_ ouuectirs*- d?aoaa fallen frCK
grace iu tho way of chicken, stealing.