The Orangeburg news. (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, March 27, 1869, Image 1
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QOD AND OXJR COUNTRY.
SATURDAY MORNING, MARCH 27, 1869.
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_tHE OR?NGEBURG NEWS?
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Krcry Sntnvday Morning.
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Terms Cash in Advance ""?a
fe?2f. o ly
TKe Diamond Cross.
A jounjj giil. etgod a( a jeweller's counter
rxamiug with cagar eyes the gems bo enticing
ly arrayed. There were all manner of pre
vious stones, rare and dazzling, and pure pale
pearls, and creamy cauieos. All were beauti
ful, and Agnes turned her gaze from one to
another unable to decide which wub the most
desirable, till suddenly n small cross nut with
diamonds and twined with a delicate vine,
flashed its starry light in her eyes.
"Sec..mother, ace that beautiful, beautiful
Cross!" she exclaimed. UI wmild rather have
that than all the other jewels in the case."
"It is very beautiful," said her mother, ??but
diamonds arc far too grand for my Agnes, and
far too expensive for her father's means."
"^ iWrtW'lP iiyr0?.?" fjw ">ked 'be clerk.
Imping that her mother had over estimated it.
?Five, huudrcd dollars," w:is the answer.
Wif^l tjKe moro look at the coveted treasure,
Agnes turned away feeling that it was useless
to hope to possess it . yet the thought, of it
Would not lcr.ve her and she went homo rest
less and dissatisfied.
That evening, soon after the lumps were
lighted, tho door bell rang, and presently the
servant brought in n small package, and with
it a nute addressed to Agnes. Breaking the
seal, the young gtrl found it to be from a
much-loved uncle, who stated that unseen by
ber hc'haJ chanced to enter the jewelry store
at the time she was so eagerly admiring tho
diamond cross, and to gratify himself, n* well
as hia uicce. he had at once purchased it for
Jjcr. The note closed with these words :
'?If ever this gitt becomes iii?ccd a cross, do
not hesitate to dispose of it."
Agues could scarcely believe that it was not
all a dreiun, and her fingers trembled as she
loosened the wrappings.
"If ever this gift becomes indeed a cross,"
she repeated as site lifted it from its dainty
case! "What could my uncle mean?'' und
then as the diamonds threw out their slender
yt* of light, she forgot all else in wandering
admiration.
For muuy days the diamond cross was a
source of much delight. There was scarcely
a lover of gems in the town who hud not
lookod at it with longing eyes as it sparkled on
its downy cushions in the jeweler's case, und
when they learned that Agues had become its
happy possessor, they thronged about her with
warm congratulations. It was not long, how
ever, before there reached her, many invidious
remarks made by tho very friends who bad
seemed so sincere in their admiration of her
uncle's costly gift. One said that it was en
tirely unsuitcd to her style of face and dress ;
another suggested that she probably knew that
'her wealthy relative was within heating at the
time the expressed her wish for the cross; nnd
one even hinted that, after all, tho diamonds
were nothing but paste Agnes' sensitive
heart was sorely wounded, and afraid of ex
'citing more remarks of a similar uatute, she
soon censed to wear the cross in public, con
tenting herself f ith admiring it in secret.
One morning there was quite nn excitement
made by the report that burglars were in the
neighborhood, and thnt several large robberies
had been committed the previous night. On
inspection it was found thnt at attempt had
been made to break through ono of the base
ment windows of Agnes' home, but the iron
hair refused to yield. Agnes' first thought
was of her treasure?her cross. What if they
bad arjceccdcd in entering, and had robbed her
of that I And the fear that something of the
kind might come to pass, so troubled her mind
that she could take no peace or rest when tho
cross was not with her. Uuwilling to be seen
wearing it. she fastened a ribbon to the case
that held it and during the day koj.i it tioii*
eculed in her dress, while at night she hid it
beneath her pillow. This conrtuut Bulicitudo
soon had its effects upon her dreamt). She
frequently fancied in her sleep that a baud
was thrust ettjnlthly under her head to steal
her treasure, and would start up crying, "My
eross ! tny cross 1"
Again she Would dream that her tiny cross
had grown to such huge proportions that its
weight was crmdtiug her, and she would waken
trembling mid exhausted with her frantic ef
forts to tear it from her.
Thus gradually, she was learning that the
jeweled cross she had so coveted, was a heavy
cross to bear, und with this bitter lesson came
thoughts of another cross, higher and holier;
and ehe remembered that one had said: '"Take
up thy cross and follow inc."
It was a winter of great severity, and in all
the larger cities there was much Buffering
among the poor for lack of food and fuel.
The daily papers teemed with accounts of the
destitution that prevailed ; and among the
many whose hearts were moved with sympathy
for the sufferers was Agues, the owtvr of the
diamond crass. All the tuoucy she con hi call
her own was cheerfully given, but it was only
a trifle at tho most and she sighed to think
how little it would accomplish where so much
was needed. Suddenly she recalled her un
cle's words : "If this gift ever becomes indeed
a cross, do not hesitate to dispose of it." Had
it not becotno in very truth n cross? Yet she
bad prized it so dearly?her beautiful treasure
?that she was unwilling to think of even
pawning it, much less of parting with it for
ever. Hut the thought of the good she might
accomplish clung to her day and night, und iu
her heart there seemed to be a voice say lug :
'?Carry thy cross to him who bore the cross for
. thee, and thou shalt have treasure ill heaven."
T!u7 jeweler looked somewhat puzzled when
Agnes stood at his cOUUi.gr one waiter morn
ing and asked him if he were wHHttg>~tfl t.ikc
back the diamond eross. Hut diamonds had
risen in value since the cross was purchased,
snd he readily paid her the sum that had been
named as its price a few mouths previous;
ami before the day was* done the diamond
cross had carried sunshine und plcntv info
innny a darkened nnd destitute home.
It was soon known that thy cross was again
offered for sale, and [numerous were the sur
mises ?t, to the possible motives that bad in
duced Agnes to part with it. but they were nil
far wide of the truth, for the young girl bad
disposed her charity so quietly that few knew
to what use the proceeds of her uncle's gift
hail been appropriated.
With her it was the opening of a new era.
In laying down her cross of diamonds she bad
taken up that of an earnest, self-sacrificing life,
and thenceforth she carried in her heart the
consciousness of blessing others, and of being
?'rich toward trod."??S'. iS. Taacher.
j 1M..mn it a Little M?hr.?A good minis
ter had long preached to it congregation of
average culture with little apparent good
result. Thinking the matter over one Sr.tur
day morning, aftir he bad finished writing bis
weekly sermon, the thought occurred to him
to go down stairs and read it to his pious
simple-hearted domestic. ??Perhaps," said be.
?T shoot t?K> high." Calling her from her
work, he read a few sentences, Relucted as
containing the clearest announcement of the
truth which the sermon was intended to convey,
and asked her, ''l>o you understand thnt?"
"No, sir." was her reply. lie then extem
porized the same idea in simpler language,
and asked her again, "Do you understand that?"
"A little," was her answer?kindling with an
interest which proved the truth of her words,
"but please, Sir, plain it a little more." ' Once
more he expounded his original thought, in
the most lucid manner and with the fewest
and shortest words he could think of. when
she exclaimed with great delight?"I see it all
now, sir, nnd I like it very much." lie went
up stairs, re wrote his discourse, as nearly as
possible in the same style which he had used
in his experiment; and went to church next
morning, almost trembling, lest his people
would be disgusted with his preaching. To
his amazement, the very first sentence seemed
to awaken a listening, such us be bad never
before been able to secure. And, n.s be went
on, he could see one eye after another mois
tening, until almost his whole congregation
were visible touched ns he hud never seen
them before, and as the result of that service,
more than one came to him to enquire, "What
must I do?" The effect upon his own mind
was such that he changed his style af preach
ing from that time thoroughly; declaring that
as for him?let others do what they may?he
would speak so as to be understood hu all
whom it was his duty to address.
' Sire, one word," said a soldier one day to
Frederick the great, when presenting to him
a request for tho brevet of lieutenant. *'If
you say two," answered tho king, "I will hnve
you hanged." "Sign," replied the soldier.
The kiiig Stared, whistled and signed.
Dom Platt, Daniki. Wkhstku and
Washington Hack Drivers.?I was at the
capital for tho first time, a green, uwknrd
youth, given to unheard of bluudors, and lia
ble abuso. Sharpers looking at me said : "He
is dowu?go for it I" A cab driver did. He
drove me iu that funny old affair that had one
horse iu front and n door behind, and no cud
of rascality between in the person of the driv
er?=he curried me, I say, from the depot to tho
hotel, and charged five dollars. He could rtti
well have charged uic a hundred. He had
such a self-satisfied, insolent way that he might
have demanded my watch and pocket-Bible
tiud handkerchief. He might have tak< u my
overcoat and called for my boots, ami my fitfct
impulse would havo bceu to yield up and hand
over. I was such a downy cove, and he was
so insolent.
And this reminds me that the first time 1
saw the great New England expounder of the
constitution, Diiuicl Webster, he was under
going the same process of insolent exaction.
Cabby had deposited the great embodiment?
the two hundred pounds of meat, learning and
eloquence?and then ventured to demand his
fare. The godlike Daniel either had not the
necessary coin, or declined producing it, for he
stalked over the pavement to the do>r followed,
by the man. who urged, vociferously, imme
diate liquidation. Suddenly Daniel turned on
the steps, and bringing to bear his "heavy brow ?
and cavernous eyes upon the creature, said, in
deep, fearful voice :
'?Fellow, do you dare to dun me ?"
And the follow sunk into his boot* and re
treated.
Dot I was not Daniel Webster so much then J
us 1 am now ; so I meekly paid the live with
out remonstrance, hut took upon the tablet's of
my memory the number of the robber's cab.
Some days after?long enough for the fellow
to forget me?I saw him driving along the
avenue and I took my revenge. I called him
to iiic-Ji'.'d told him I wished to visit Mount
Voinon in time to takc^hej.-vetting train, and
that if he could do the triTTtiTiiWv- time i
would pay him all of ten dollars. Ho^Wurked
it up to eighteen, tu he paid if accomplished. 1
.1 irtbl nn? tn j??>F "??* 1 -,: 1 ???? .1 "TTir
wc went at a lively rate of speed. On the
first bit of .smooth road 1 softly opened the
! door, hung to the step until I closed it. and
then stepped off. I had the grim satisfaction
ol seeing cabby disappear it* the dim distance,
! suggesting to my mind the wild tradition of
the "Flying Dutch wan."
A man in New Orleans took out an accident
insurance policy before starting on a journey,
and happened to be killed by a railroad !
accident. The widow, armed with the news
paper report in which his name was mentioned
among the killed, presented herself tit the
office of the company, but was informed that
more definite proof would be luccssary. "Why,
of course he's dead," said the bereaved lady.
??That i* possible," mid the polite official.
? and, my dear madam, I am very sorry for it " j
?'Yc'r sorry, arc you, sorry?'' "Of course I '
j ntn; I sincerely sympathize with you in your
bereavement." "Yes," exclaimed the excited
ami bereaved lady; '?that's always the way
with you men, you are mighty polite about
everything else, but when a poor woman gets
a chance to make a little money, you're only
sorry." And the indignant lady leff flic room
iu bcnrch of additional proof.
A Woman's Fhikndship.?Tt i.s a won
drous advantage to a man, in every pursuit or
vocation, to secure an adviser in :i sensible
woman. In woman there i.s at once a subtle
delicacy id'tact, ami a plain soundness nfjudg
lucnt, which are randy combined to an equal
degree in man. A woman, if .she be really
your friend, will have a sensitive rcirard for
your character, honor, reimte. She will sel
dom counsel you to do shabby things, fur a
woman friend always desires to be proud id'
you. At the same time her constitutional
timidity makes her more cautious than your
male friend. She, therefore, seldom counsels
you to an imprudent thing. A man's best
female friend is n wife of good sense ami heart,
whom he loves, and who loves him. Hut,
supposing the man to be without such help
mate, female friendship be must still have or
his intellect will be without a garden, and
there will be many an unheeded gap, even in
its strongest fence. Bettor ami safer, of course,
are .such friendships, where disparity of years,
or circumstance.*, puts the idea of love out of
the question. Middle life has rarely this'
advantage; youth and old ago have. We may
have fouiale friundships with those much older,
and those much younger, than ourselves.
Female friendship is to a man, the bulwark,
sweetness, ornament, of his existence.
A newspaper iu a rival city thus speaks of
a promising western town :?"A Chicago pa
per concludes ao account of a marriage in that
city with the declaration that "the parties
were then united for lifo.1 If they were it
was certainly the first thing of tho kind that
ever occurred there'"
NkV? Manner ?r TW^LViNfTTPToNKs for
Far MINO 'Purposes. ? Professor HcnkoH
says: flttpposc yon hnve 4,000 pounds of
bones, you ooed 4,000 pounds t>f ashes, (aver
aging ten per cent, of carbonate of potash,)
600 pounds niislacked lime, and some 4,500
pounds (tifly-five and a half gallons) of water.
Dig a hole some two feet deep, large enough to
reccivr the bancs and one-halt' their volume
besides.; parallel to this you dig another One
twenty-five per cent, lifgcr both being filled
with bonto. First slack tho lime and mix
with vonr ashes, covering 2,000 pounds of
bones in the smaller one. When it gets dry
add continually water enough to keep it wet.
Wlieu the bones crumble in your fingers, then
take ll* whole nmss out and spread it over the
bones in the second holo leaving the decompo
sition io go on. When this is done, let the
muss dry; and to make it fit for use add peat
powder o.r mellow gnrdun soil until it is well
dried sod powdery. Let it be shoveled over
several times, nnd theu upply to your fields.
Thus you get a fertilizer averaging twelve
per cent, of phosphate of lime ; two per ceut.
of alkalies, and six per cent, of nitrogen.
The Jjits used in this process must of courso
be dug* In soil to a great degree impervious to
wuter. Clayey soil will answer, if first
sprinkled uud thcu pouuded, or clay may be
"puddled" in a basin in any soil, and n water
tight jjii be made. If the bones are tolerably
fresh, there will be very little loss of ammonia.
We have known the softening of the boucs to
be complete on u small scale.?Ayriculturabiit.
Tin; Farmer's Shop. ? Every larmcr
rdiouhj have a shop fitted up with such tools as
are us^jjl by the carpenter, joiner, machinist
and blacksmith, or with those that would be
valuable iu making repairs. Above all. we
Consider a good foot lathe very desirable. It
wouhfWjo impossible within the limits of a
newspaper article, to merely notice the advan
tage. ik\ very good foot lathe costs from sixty
to ono'nnndrcd dollars, and the money is well
expended in the purchase. Articles of use
and o'/patnent made of wood, ivory and metal
uiavSti* turned out by the foot lathe conven
ient ml for tise'lrr^tirrj-uuwi'i^LJillJtl,c
The/'practice on the lathe Is one ol the most
fascinating pastimes for a stormy day or an un
employed eVouing. Apart from its use in
making ami repairing, the foot lathe is a plea
sant companion for the business haunted and
brain weary. One who adopts it as a com
panion of bis leisure hours will become an
adept, a ltd the more he uses and becomes ac
quainted with his machine the better be will
like it. He will be surprised at the number
and elegance of the little articles of use and
ornament he can produce from the rough ma
terial, and at the pleasure thut the practice of
a meeltanie.il art can nfturd.? Seitnti/ir Ameri
can.
GhAptino. ? Kvery furnier should learn to
do hi- own grafting. It is a very ea?v Opera
tion when oneo understood. A sharp pen
knife and a good fine saw are indispensable.
Splitting the stock so that the bark shall not
be bruised, and Bhaping the scion wedge
fashion both ways, preserving also the bark
uninjured, and placing the rim of the wood
of both wood and scion exactly together so
that the sap can intermingle?there is no dan
ger of failure if properly waxed. We make
a Shoulder to the graft, and think it adds to
the certainty of success, though probably
weakens it. We prefer also two eyes of buds
to a graft and would rather have, only one than
more than two. tine year's wood should
always be used when it can be obtained, as it
is more certain to take and grow more vigor
ously .
Wc wish to remind those about preparing
grafting wax, that we have found four parts
of rosin, one part of beeswax, and one part of
beef tallow, to be the best preparation. Melt
them together in a .skillet (which is the be.-t)
or a tin cup and mix well. It should remain
in the vessel and be used as needed. Twenty
or thirty scions can be waxed with one beat
ing up. W hen much grafting is to be done,
a little lire for beating the wax should l c
made on the spot between two bricks or stones.
A Mi'iir.t. Criminal.?A perfectly model
criminal was tried in Paris recently. Being
asked if he bad anything to say, he replied,
'?Yes a good deal. In the first place, I object
to the judges.,' "To the judges? You mean
the jury." 'Nothing of the kind; I mean the
judges? all the judges of France."?"Impos
sible!"-- -"It is not impossible, but a fact."
'?And, sir, on what grounds?" "Because they
are prejudiced against mo." Judge (severely):
"Prisoner, you must not day such thing*. No
judge in France is prejudiced against any one."
"Weif, I don't know about that," replied the
prisoner, but you must know as well ns I do
that they have already condemned me five
times."
Congress and the Legislature of Massachu
setts are snid tobe the only legislative bodies
that adhere to the old custom of engrossing
bills on parchment.
Twelve IWStVf *rioW;oa ? ieeei toi* winter
ill; Cadada. ;i
Tho SioitX Indians call General S ller ma n
j "General W<dk-*-Jieap.'' .
j Straw!lorries have nppcarod in London, and
! ai'o sold at three shillrmw an ounce.
I Seventy-eight prominent Americans have
! been -orovoetad ft*^isJsiarJ* Eo^mh
I Knssia has joaW ejxih^d, afcoq* forty treasury
officials to Siberia, for robbing the govcro
| ment.
Boston is in lack. Over 63,000 boxes of
oranges have arrived there during the past
week.
A Brooklyn clergyman was robbed on Moo
day night of a carpet-bag full of sermons.
The heirs of Noah Webster are said to re
ceive $25,000 annually from the sale of his
dictionary.
In order to dispose of polygamy at short
notice, it is proposed to give tho right of
suffrage to the women of Utah.
. Kentucky has n stern parent who keeps his
daughter chained to n log, in order to prevent
her marrying contrary to his wishes.
It IB said that the Indians of the plains will
not take scalpsfrcri* heads of negro soldiers
killed in battle,
AiuoUg the bills reported to the Michigan
Legislature is one to prevent tho shooting of
any person "in sport."
Spring opened iu Northern New Hampshire
with the thermomctor thirty-four dogrees be
low zero.
A company at Lexington, 111., consumes
forty-nine tons of beets daily in the manufac
ture of sugar.
Concord, N. H., has hud eighty-three days
of uninterrupted sleighing up to last Monday.
Nearly six feet has fallen this winter.
Texas has agreed to pay $100 and to give
forty acres of laud to a company for every im
migrant it brings into the State.
In Texas the wheat crop promises well, and
I hi some parts of the State coru is rising in
price and is now worth fifty cents.
The Louisiana Legislature has passed a bill
authorizing the liceusiug of gambling-houses,
the price of the lieenseheieg fixed at $6,000.
A story cotucs-tnon jgehrium of two soldiers
who played a game of cards. One staked bis
life; lost; and hanged himself iu the morn
ing.
The New York Telegram wants to know
why actors who are engaged for "general utili
ty" always embraces the part of Hamlet.
A three year old child, temporarily left in
charge of its infant brother in Columbus, Ohio,
last Saturday evening, got angry with it and
killed it by beating it over the head with the
nursing bottle.
The New York Times says : "If California
is such a splendid place for making money,
why is it that there is such a rush of office
seekers from thore to Washington ? Is it
easier to Wants money in public office than any
where else.
There arc ??0 American students at the
various German universities, and over 1,000
male and female American pupils at first class
German boarding-schools.
The Danville Register tells of a negro well
digger who was buried iu a well sevon hours
by its caving in, and covering him to the
depth of twenty feet with stones, &c, and Who
was not fatally injured.
Senator Schurs boldly protested against the
appointments for Missouri as proposed by the
President, and for his trouble received the
consoling reply, "I know the people of Mis
souri better than you do " -
Petitions, numerously signed by Republi
cans, are ?nid to be prepared for presentation
to the new Governor of Tcuucsscc, (Mr. Sen
ter), asking him to withdraw the militia from
some of the counties uow uuder martial law.
A scientific lecturer at Shcfficd recently told
his audience that when the star fish, which
live principally upon young oysters, finds one
too large to be swallowed, it turns its stomach
inside out, and then envelopes the oyster.
Mr. Catlin, the prairie truveler, communi
cates to Trubuer's Americau uud Oriental
Literary llccord tho curious statement thai a
a great river, "larger than tho Mississippi,"
Hows under the Rocky Mountains! Mr. Cat
lin is about to publish the evidence which ho
has collected in favor of this startling hy
pothesis.
An officer who had lost his hand by a grapo
shot, was in company with a young lady, who
remarked that, it was a crnel ball which de
prived him of his hand. "A noblo bull,,
madam." said he, ''for it bore away the palm."
Charles Bannister, coming from a coffeo
house ono cold and stormy night, said that he
never saw such a wiud. "Saw ruch a wind IV
replied a friend. "What was it like?"?
?? Like?" answered Charles, "like to blow my
hat off?"
An (Unprofitable Crop.-*-"Brcthrco," said'
an American proaoher at a rocent meeting, "I
fear very much that I must compare some
hctc to my crop ef wheat and potatoes; for
you have eyes aud see not, ears bavo you and
hear not
hundred dollars to keep fur'hlnr. ?nd?aTr-*^
what do you do T Do you pray for Via rf?? .\?
' No, air," repliod tho landlord. **I pg#.dt>? ajfT
another 4l^o-hisa." . . ...
? 'ft* .artoOr gVnrnsflhrt
A New".Harep j?oet, do.eribin^ ,&J??^5|faf
tics of threo prominent institutions of toe* 3
city says7: ' Th^ Medrc*T Cbrieg% ^To*^''
road to the Cemetery * the ^Dttiaity^tAfc* urn idt
on the road to the Poorhous? } and Umm I law*}?vi? la
school ou the road to tho jail.." ?..;t?n<U %Av*\
Oh, my dear Bir," said, a poc^ s^flwe* to ifL ^ ^
dentist, ?;that in the second wrong, toWt /o*T
have pulled out?" -Very sorry, I?? ?'
the bluudering operator: "but as there were' ****H
only three altogether when I commenced, Fan* > >
sure to be right next time." i <? JT
Singabore has a boa constrictor that has 4
swallowed a young lady, who wore at the #tne
a $15,000 diamond necklace. The young
lady is of no value now, but the nechln?V'le^*? im
so about thirty thousand rtaViVt? ate diligently" thm
searching for th? ?tfa%?. jsv?i?h* \*
New Lexington, has a Pcirtmaster ?*?*? ?*n -l*vi
said to be a "druggist aiul deptii^ .i .B^^Vrw vf,&l
keep* a grocery, dry goods, boot and shoe_
store; is a silver-smith, jeweller, painter, cafoi?
uet maker, and when times get a little dull/
gets out a patent fbV some invention/' " WWM
"It seems to me I have swri yotfr ffktymi&fr *?*aidi
nomy somewhere before," said a swoJ*1 to
stranger whom ho met the other day,;, ?<HnC^ir>?d??
cannot imagine where." "Very likely," re*, ->
plied the other; "I have been the keeper of a ^*
prison for the last twenty JCSrf." ' **
Maclin and Johnson disputing on a Iherary
subject, Johnson quoted Greek. 4fI doat'i.imW^ ?ft
derstaud Greek," said Maclin. "A maa wb? ,;<, y,
argues should understand ovcry language, re*
plied Johnson. "Very well,!' said Maelio, and .
gave him a quotation from the Irish/
A Son of the Sew^'WhatY yotrr da??4?** V**
said an ofteet io a yofWg ec4ared bid? ?4*w>?r>?^
joined the ship at the Capo< "Algoa. Batyt* gai^
sir." "Where were you bom ?" 'vWaon/t bor^;,,,. te
at all?" "Wasn't born at all?" 'No^l^,
Was washed ashore in a storm." ,
Bad Spoiling.?An ignorant but quick wit.
ted person was taken to task by a friend 'fSr**
[TrfHlill? fl|11iirm5in a lftttflr lte juat^anAo*. - >^
"Bud spelling, is it ?" said tho firstlook a*
that I" holding up a stump of a quill to h?u% .^ff
' how cau a man spell right with sack a pew as
that?"
A rough individual, whose knowledge of
classical language was not quite complete, had
been sick, and on recovering was told by hia
doctor that he might take a littln animal fctdba u* tu
"No, sir," said he, "I took gruel easy enough,
but bang me if I ean go your hay and oat*/'
"That's a stiipid brute of yours, Jona,"
said a Scotch minister to his parishioner who
drove his merchandise from door to door en *
a small cart drawn by a donkey. "I never
seen you but the donkey is braying.** ^Je^p^ rrs
sir/' said the dealer, "ye ken the hnafTlCf^j. ^
warhi wtan frens meet.'' ,
The city of Key West, Florida, is at present .
literally over-run with Cuban refugees, and
every vessel, steamer, yacht or smack arriving
from Havana is generally crowded with them. " *K?
A young Udy living uear Atlanta, Georgia,??5?*'?%
it is said, has fbar suitors, aged respectively
thirteen, eighteen-; thirty-five and sixty. She
is twenty-four.
,Ja*ya<h
SQtrrVT G?tfs a .vi? Saud inks.?A Ww
landlord, s</mcwirai noted lor blunders took it
into his head to have a ball at his tavern. ?s
he intended to do things up brown, and tawe^'1*
everything on the big auger plan, he fancied '
that a few "store fixtures" would he a great Warn
uddition to the bill of fare of pork and turkey* )]
He, therefore, made ene/Mry of bis friends,
und found that the only delicacy ia tho market
at that season- of the year was sardines. Ae*
cordingly, he sent to the nearest eity for two
doxen boxes sardines. *
His chiography, however, was so bad M <o>*
make it road, "two dozen boxes of syringes/'
The night of tho party came', and a* sapper
time drew near, the landlord looked anxiously
down the street for the appearance of the stage-'
which was to bring tho principal dish on the
bill. nx.Vm
At lost it arrived, and with a paekago fbv*i ou
tho expectant landlord.
Directly there was a great outcry, and a
sound of cursing in the bar-roofa, . jm^a i.
The entire party rushed out ?o sec whit was 1
tho matter and there stood Bonifuoe, atr xaad as
a turkey-cook, puffing and Mowing witH rage.
"See there! I sera to Dttbnqu* for two aoa'
en boxea of sardines for supper to-night and
tho cussed fools sent twenty-throe boxes of
them pewtov squirt-guns, and Bays that is alf ,
there was in the market."
- -SMiifl
A story is told of a western lawyer wh? ?
lately attended a religious meeting, waere a#;
?was o.tiled upon to offer prayer. Not beia^
j experienced in such duty, he rose, and attempt
I ed the LercVs prayer, and1 succeeded very weU
uutil he came to the possagc. "Give US Ili'hV
tlay our daily broad," when, tVohi tho force of
habit, he i in mediately added, "witk covte,"