Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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A. TIE WEEKLY HH IffllOI TIMES gqiio^d to ^grirultun;, gortitultur^ gomqstit (Etonomg, polite Jitqratnre, folifits, and the Current Jteios off the gag. VOL. XVII.?New Series. UNION C. II., SOUTH CAROLINA, JULY 10, 188G. NUMBER 28. UNCLE SAM'S NIECES. I women enteral ?!?? ? ? ?* ' * - * Wasii ixoroN, June 1.?The government clerl employed in the departments nt Wnshingtc number 15,000, marking an army half again i large as that of Xenophoti in the retreat wbic he writes of in his " Anabasis." A euriot army it is?old and young men and women,) all types, strong and weak, crippled, and ac ire?its variety is as broad as that of huma life ! Fifty-eight hundred of its number recoil salaries which range from $900 to $1,800 year, and all, from chief to privates, arc allolle a vacation of oue wholo month at almost nn time of the year they chooso to lake it. This army of clerks never strikes. It is cor tent with its wages, and it has no reason to con plain of its hours of work. These hours ar practically ouly six daily. The department open at 9 o'clook, and the clerks are cxpecte to be at their desks at that hour. They worl steadily until noon, and then take usually ai hour for lunchoon. At 1 o'olook they nre bacl at their desks, and at -1 their day's work i done. Tho treasury contains bolween 8,500 an 4,000 clorks. It Is tho largest department o tho Government. At 4 p. m. four huniai streams pour forth from its various exits, ant the streets are crowdod in a moment, lien goes a dashing young lady with a lunch baske in her hand, dressed in the latest fashion, ant with a new spring bonnet resting juuntil, above her banged ourls. Bosido her is a ga; young man in a Derby, who chats with hei almost lovingly as they pass out together. Ii front is a plainly dressed old womau, who prob ably keeps a family out of the $720 a year whict sho makes by copying papers all day long, an) back of her is a long, thin dude, with a colla: as big as a shirt cuff and enormous ears. Fur thor back thcro is a widow in mourning, am as you look at her you wonder whether her hus unnu was a soiuier. Thoro are 4,000 women in the OoTcrnmcn departments at Washington, and among the best looking and most intelligent ladies of the capital are so employe 1. They come, as a rule from good families. Many of them are thi widows of noted Generals, the daughters o ex-Governors and ex-Congressmen, and no* and then you will find the relative of a Presi dent or a Cabinet minister. Many of them hare traveled widely, and the great majorit) are educated and refined ladies. They do all kinds of work, and receive salaries ranging from $720 to $1,600 a year. As money count era they are muoh moro expert than the men and the rapidity with w.hioh they count thous ands upon thousands of dollars without makiuf a mistake makes your brain whir} as too watol them. These money oouaters get about 976 i month, and they eottat millions of dollars ererj month. At ono aide of each one on tho tabh lie great piles of groohbdoks, doue into packages as they come from the press. I am speaking now of the redemption bureau of the treasury These bills are old and dirty. The strip ol paper around each package of 100 bills states where they came from, nnd who counted them it the country. The young lady takes this off, and moistening her fingers with the wet sponge in front of her, she counts the bills like lightning, and, if the package is not right, she reports sc to the chief, und the banks from which the bills come must stand the loss. The girls seldom make a mistake, nnd if they do so or pass s counterfeit without noting it they must make the mistako good, aud jhe amount Is taken out ti.... ? .->? ..v.. j. invj uuu ivii, uowever, a oaa bill simply by fceliug it, and a bank cashier will make a hundred mistakes where tli?y mako one. Not long ago one of tho young lady counters was engaged upon a lot of $10J notes. She had been dropping the scraps on the Hoor beside licr in a pile, after verifying tho count. Whilo alio was counliag a package she would lay this scrap, marked wiilt the name of the bauk which sent it, on the table beside licr, At last she ouine to a package that contained only hiuety-niue notes, and on looking for the orap was tcrritied to hud that it had fallen among the others. She was sure she knew the name of the bauk, but could not prove it. The bank was notified end refused to acknowledge the mistake, and the poor girl was forced to pay the $100. Doth sexes of clerks at Washington work it the eamc department, and it is often the cast that young men and young women have deski lide by side. There is no restriction as t< their social intercourse, and it is a matter ol surprise to outsiders that so few marriage) occur among the clerks. It is not that tht girls are not good looking, nor that they art not good, neat and intelligent. And it is not that the men are not .noble and attractive. Washington living, however, is expensive, end it is contrary to the rules of the department that two members of the same family shoulc hold positions under the Government. Th< ladies in the department earn enough to keep them respectably, and they do not care l< marry a roan who has no larger income thar themselves, and have in the end not as muo) pooket money as before. Many of thi marriages which do tako place are with met outside of the departments, and it is not an nn common thing here for a good-looking olerk U marry a Congressman, a Senator, or a naws paper correspondent. Mrs. Theaker, who it to be Stanley Matthews'* wife, was a Govern roent olerk when she met and married Judg< Theaker, a former commissioner of patents Stephen A. Douglas married a departmen clerk, and Attorney Ueueral Hrewster'a wife although she was Hubert J. Walker's daughter waa working in the departments when he fel in love with her. I don't think womon are justly treated ii the departments. Men who do the same olos of work often receive higher salaries than lb< women, and a $1,400 clerk and a $1,00< clerk are employed on the same work a times, and tba $1,000 woman perhap does tha moat. It was io 1802 tba ihk. ...w ?vi tiw IM> wpjkois ?iia counters ?t s salary of $720 per year. They were not eligible to clerkships. At this some time the men appointed to clerkships received k $1,200 a year, and later, when the salary of snoh women was raised to $900, men doing the ^ same work were paid as high ns $1,200 and t $1,000 per annum. In 1870 women were made eligible to clerkships, and since then they havo been promoted until now two receive $1,800 a year. But the higli-prioed women clerks are ^ eery few, and men who do as good work receive as n rule better pay, and more certain of ^ holding thei* positions. The young men in the departments, as a rule, '* have no ono but themselves to care for, and k* if you ask them why they are. not married * they will tell you that their salary is not large 8 enough for them to support wives. Nearly all ^ of the single women in the departments have 1 others depending upon them. Many of thera a send their sisters or brothers to school, and ^ many of them ore widows, who in this way * support and educate their families. Some of the old lady clerks aro very fine d looking, and some of tliem had noted careers f in society before going into tho departments, i One I know who bad Jefferson for an ancestor, 1 and another, porhnps the most beautiful of the 9 white-haired ladies of the treasury, was the t wife of an Ohio Qovcrnor has a daughter in 1 the departments, and ono of the fine old ladies y of the pension office, now a great grandmother, f is a Kansas woman who was the first woman r clerk ever elected by a legislative body in this i country. These old lady clerks dress well, and among them are some of the most agreei able talkers in Washington. Their hearts are i young, though their hair is white, and they are r almost as fascinatiog now as when tho bloom - was on their cheeks and they were tho belles of I ihoit* nktivo The women do the bulk of the dead letter | office business. In 1884 there were twenty ? seven male olerks in the dead letter office and . seventy-eight female olerks. The annual pay roll of the male clerks was $37,400, an average of $4 41 per day. The annual pay-rdll of the 1 , seventy-eight female clerks was $73,420, or an I f average of $3 31 per day. The men did prac- j r tically the eame work as the women, hut they , . received $1 more a day for it, and had the i men's work been done by women the Oovcrn- ' r ment wonld have saved $0,311. Had the men ' I done all the work at the above rate tho pay- j . roll would have had to be increased $24,165. i . It wonld seem that an equalization board ought < to be appointed, apdthat Unole Sam, at least, should give his nieces the same pay as his . nephews when they do the same work. . Is the civil service of the Government a good i place hr Woineil ? 1 It seems jto ae that it is. The hours of I | labor are short, the work is not such that it | , overtaxes the system, and the labor is honor. able. The salaries are better than women can make in almost any other occupation, and the T associations aro what the women choose to ! make them. There used to be an idea that 1 { women in the departments were as a rule < I questionable characters ; that thvy were in- | t debted to politicians for their appointment, , and that the appointments were often given in , tho way of a bargain for questionable relations , with such Congressmen. There may havo 1 been instances of this character, but they are ' by no means common, and ninety-nine bun- ' dredths of the women in the department to- ' day are as pure as any in the country. No j woman who wishes to be honest need fear that she will bo insulted while working for the Governmeut. 1 The Government olerks stand well in Wash- 1 iogton City. Thoy are far above the nvcrago 1 of the intelligence of men doing tho same j character of work which they do throughout ( the country. Washington is a pleasant place in whioh to live. It is expensive or cheap, as AHA wialtAO * A rnalra it * * ' A ~ U ~ * * " .u Ui.?v ?, ouu Ik 19 IU uu in ido future the great educational, social and literary I centre of the country.?Et. 1 How Gb.nbual Lkb Courtkii Dbatii.? Mr. Reagan gives me a new fact In General Lee's history which is not generally known in the ' North. lie said that towards the close of the downfall of the Confederate Government there was a very general impression among the high officials of the Confederacy that General Lee i intended to lose his life on the field of battle. > This impression was shayed by officers of Lee's ' army. General Lee never lost an opportunity ? of placing himself in a position of danger, f Mr. Reagan says that he drove out from Rich' mond to see Lee upon the day the principal > battle of Cold Ilarher was fought. As he came < > up near where he could see Lee's headquarters, 1 he saw the sheila bursting continually around his tent and ploughing up the ground in front i ' of him. Home of the officers asked Mr. Reagan 1 t to try and persuade General Lee to move his i I headquarters behind a piece of timber near by. 1 9 All felt that he was exposing his life too much, i ' Mr. Reagau said to General Lee: "1 do not < presume to advise any general in the midst of 1 1 a battle, but are you not exposing yourself too i 1 much ? Ought you not to go back nearer your < B reserve?"' General Lee said be hod no reserve. < i He had only one line of men. He did not < dare to shorten his line for fear it would be > turned, and did not dare to (bin it for fear it i * would be broken. General Lee evidently 1 1 Bought death many timea during the closing days of the war. That was the view of the * Southern leaders then and is still believed by * many.? Wathinglon Letter. t ? ? '? _ Wiikhk He Would Be.?Teaober?"Johnnie, I * do you know the nature of an oath ?" * Jobnnio?"Yes'm. It is something that a | man gives when he wants to be believed.'' i Teacher?"That's right. Now let us have it s illustrated. Johnnie, suppose your father ? should swear to your mother that he would be ) at home at 10 o'olock in the evening. Where t would he be at that hour ?" ! s Johnnie?"In Tim Doognn's barroom."? t New Or lea ne State*. . j m ance Jolly.?Many of our roadors r< member "Manco" Jolly, who operated i South Carolina and Qeorgia soon after th war, and was n terror to those that woi tho bluo. Jolly had a tcrriblo account t scttlo with tho Yankees, and ho paid th debt with interest. Fivo of his brother had boon killed during tho war, and h swore that ho would kill fivo Yankees f?j each one of his brothers that were plait After a truce was declared between J oil and tho Yankees, ho went to Texas an married. Ilis father-in-law gave him plantation on tho opposito sido of th river, and Jolly commenced building houcc, and would swim his horso that h rodo while on his many raids in Goorgii over to whore ho was building. IIo wa roturning to his father-in-law's for diunei and whilo about midway the stroan "Dixio," tho nauio of Jolly's horse, gav out and thoy went down together, to ris no more. Jolly has a rotation now livic in Athens, who has given us soino inter csting accounts of his hair-broadth es capes. Mance Jolly was a very restless follow and could sco a Yankee a mile off. Hi relativo says ho was in church with hit onco in JHart county, and all at ouco J oil boc&mo very nervous and walked out o iuo cnuroli, closely followed by bis relation who saw from Jolly's action that some thing was wrong. Glancing through tin woods 1)6 saw a regiment of negro soldier coming through the woods. Jolly sa\ that it was too late for him to got hi horse, as the black troops woro nearly t whero tho animal was hitchod, nod thc^ had begun firing at Jolly. Ho ran througl Lho woods, the soldiers shooting at him al the time. Ilis mother was ii. the churcl inu fainted whon she heard tho report o the guns. The soldiers, aft r capturin< Jolly's horso, left and had not boen gon many minutes before Jolly had oalled to gether a few of his followers, who wor desperate men, and followed after the sol diers. Jolly's mother and the preache all tried to Btop him, but it was no use Ilis blood was up and ho intended to pa them back for shooting at him and steal iug hid lu>r<*c. They Jiaa a akirmioh will tho negro soldiers and several of them bi the dust. Next morning Jolly rode int< Anderson, S. C , and informed tho com manding officer that uuless his horso wa >cnt to his houso tho next day that hi would kill him and fivo of his men! Tin )fficer knew tho man ho had to deal witl ind sent tho horse to his houso. Five thousand dollars was oiTcred for Jolly, am iquads of cavalry were continually scour iug the country, but they always oatnc back minus one or two of their men, whe were marked " killed" on the muster roll Tho horso, "Dixie," that ho rode on all o bis raids, was a thoroughbred racer, )nd it was foolishucss for any common steed t< i ) -1- l:_ frti i ujr uuu wiicu uiuj. jl uo norso was wcl trained, and Jolly could uiake hiui conn by a shrill whistle. The horse would no allov* any ono to approach him after darl except Jolly. If a stranger cauie near, h< would got perfectly frantic and kick ant bito as long as they were in reach. Mane Jolly has soveral relatives still living ii Franklin and Elbert counties. Ilis histor was written and published in llurpcr' Magazine, and it is said to bo very thril ling and interesting.?Allien*, Ga., Bah ner. Ilow Mas. Prima* Travkls?Pittsburg Pa., July 9.?Mrs. Geo. M. Pullman, wifo 0 the palace car inventor, her four children servants, five horses, family carriage and do cart, took up tho room in too large Pull ma cars on the Port Wayne road yosterday evening The Pullman family is en route to Long Itrancl for the summer. The car for the horses an carriage has six stalls and rooms for three car riages, besides the berths, lookers and sittin rooms of the grooms and hostlers. The stall are models of convonicnco and equine comfori Separate oompartmens are also arrangod fa the feed, hay, lamps and othor artiolos require for the horses and carriages. Tho private ca in whioh Mrs. Pullman travels is in ituilatioi of a modern dwelling. Divans of more thai Turkish luxuriousncss occupy the corners ami sides of the main room in the ccnlro of th ear, whilo reclining ohairs, ottomans and cos, chairs are scattered around. A magnificon cabinet organ iscneofthe handsomest orna ments of the drawing room. Tho diuiug roon and sleeping and kilohen apartments are fittc up on the same magnificent scale. ?- -. A Good Siiot Witii a Hi kmc.? Jo Hrown, ono of the Georgia Senators, iue< to be tho beat shot with a squirrel rifle ii the Sooth. Ilia father would givo hiu twelvo bullets and toll him to bring i twelve squirrels. 'And mind vc,' the ol man would add, 'let the holes be throug their 'tarual hoada.'? Chicago Tribune. A scientist says that in tho moon a nut fal ing from a hough would crash through a ma like a bullet. That settles it; wo shall neve go to the moon to gather nuts. s- Ronninu a Newspaper.?Of course o anybody cau ruu a uewspapor, as no par- [ c tioular amount of brniu is required. All i o you have to do is to sit arouud ou a dry- s o good* box when the weather is fiae, and o talk polities with any other uiuttonhcad v a who is foolish enough to spend his time in v c tho sauio way, and whou the weather is too g ir recherch, as it wore, for that sort of heavy t i. work you can ovcupy an upholstered chair i y on the tropical side of a coal fire aud swap a d lies with tho county judge and rake in the h a collateral ou advertising aud subscriptions, o Tho newspaper man's life is a Dutch pic- "t a nic, S threc-ringcd-circus with four clowns f c and a trick mulo nil for one price of admis- o v siou, all tho year round aud no postpone- f s mont on account of bad weather. Oh, the d r editor's life is a rosy ono ; he rides free on it the railroads and takes cabbage subscrip. tl o tions ; ho gets complimentary passes to all b c the theatres, and gives five dollars worth of si g advertising for a fifty cent ticket to a ten- si >. cont show ; be tries to get up a nine-coluuin tl i- paper in a three-column town, and some- n tiuics he tries to pay his bills, but this lat- e , tcr ho doscn't always succool iu doing. It s Newspaper men have been known to pay ft n their bills but tho cases are as seldom as w y the 30th day of February. The only in- a '( stance of tho kind which I can uow call to u mind is a fellow who used to rua a papor <_ in Wisconsin, but he dou't do it any uioro? y 3 ho's in the penitentiary. Speaking ot peni- t< 3 tentiarics reminds mc that this sainc fellows si v afterwards started a paper iu tho prison s< g honored by his prcsoncc?conclusive ovi- s< n douco that tho onlv wav to roform a rtrin. tor is to kill him. One of the most plcasiug oxporlcncos of an editor's lifo is the fact that .everybody j clso knows so much better how to run the t< paper than he docs himself. True, no two & people havo tho same idea, but if he wishes " to succeed he must adopt them all. Woro " I to lay down a course of training for the ^ young man who dosigus going down to his a doom by the dark and gruesome path of a journalism I should suggest that at least I twenty or twenty-five years b> spent in sonic ' first-class circus acquiring the art of riding * not loss than six separate unbridled, barebacl.tUursu* at one aud the muiu time. t Thon I would recommend thirty or forty' ? years in a roller rink to get a good, healthy li callous upon the vulnerable parts of his 0 s anatomy, and to cultivate the necessary 0 Q stock of agility which he will need in ( 3 jumpiug from one side of the political fence j to tho other, and which is also useful iu a . dodging croditors. i It has been asscrtod that printing is not a boaltby business, and that one of its chief a , ailments is lead soiling. I can testify t to this from personal knowledge. A friend c of mine once started a paper out in Arizo- t r ua some years ago aud be had uot boon a i runuiug six mouths beforo he died from o lead poisouiug. It was a 44-calibcr Smith h A Wesson in tho hands of a miner which f caused tho attack. It was fatal aud ho has hann .Inoil aoo. C?.. . wvvu V4WUV* Vf VI OUIUUt X ct/i ?V kjtlll. t I # ? ' Reading.?Good reading 6ccni3 to bo 8 8 one of tho tost arts. Rut few of the pu- 0 1 pils iu our public schools cau read intelli- ^ c gently. Of all tho teachers, but few can 1 entertain an audience by reading. As by 1 >' reading wo obtain an idea of all other sub* jects, it should rcccivo special attention in I I- tho school room and at the fireside. Noth- ( l* ing is moro disagreeable than to hear a b child try to road in an unnatural tone of voice. It destroys all the boauty of the '? selection. Wo like the old-fashioned cusn if fi torn of having some one read aloud to the . ^ family. It has many advantages over tho ^ n present custom. Many persons can trace g ;. their love for literature to tho stories read t ? to them when they were unable to road c 1 themsolves. The human voice is one of 1 tho most perfect of musical instruments. 1 ^ It can givo forth tones of tho sweetest " t or the most discordant strains. All that it ? r uecds is cultivation. The unnutural tone r d used by many childron in reading docs L r thom a groat injury. Habits are being 1 1 formed that only years of patient study can r I oradicatc. There is a magic power in tho J 0 human voico. Tho fiercest animals havo j u oftnn hoflii nnwml .?r.a m. J v..v ? ~J tiiuouiiuak lUtlO. 1 lie g t voico of tbo mother has much to do in dc- j ' termining the character of the children. ( 11 If her voico is harsh, tho ohildron will bo rudo. While on tho other hand a pleasant voice will fill tho houso with sunshine, 1 and it scouis oasy for the ohildron to be \ e good. Kvon tho duuib animals can bo ini flucnced by gentle words. A kind wjrd 1 ? spoken in a pluisant tone is always meat ( effective. A look eau oause a child to cry, t 1 and the swectost words when spoken harshly i n may have tho saino effect. Tho influenco f d does not depend ho uiuoh upon what is said h as upou how it is said. A teacher with a . harsh voice should never bo employed to 1 instruct children They becomo rostlcss under cruel treatment. Their childish 1- faces become sad, and their cheerful nature n seems froten by the unnatural tores of tho ir teacher Happy in that child which never 1 hears a harsh nord.? The Grammarian. ( Solicitor Orr.?The Palmetto Pott, mblishcd at Port Royal S. C., in commentDg on the result of the Ferguson trial ays : 'We hear the jury did not know upon rhich Solicitor Orr (for the prosecution) ras. Ho must havo handled tbo case very ;ingcrly. But this is election year, and bo Ferguson family and friends are very nfluential they say in the country, and Orr nd Bcnct arc both candidates for political lonors!' This is a gross injustice to theso gonIcmcn. To begiu with, Mr. Bcnct deonded Ferguson, therefore ho had no foar f offending the 'family and -friends' of i'crguson. Moreover, Mr. Benet always ocs his duty in any caso he is employed ' i without regard to outside influences. To hose who know Col. Orr any defence of , im from such a chargo is wholly unneccsirv. To thoso who hoard his earnest, trong and nbio conduct of this prosecution : bo utter absurdity of such a charge i* lanifcst. No truer, braver, firmer mau ver discharged a public duty than Solici)r Orr. lie knows no turning aside from ( jar favor or affectiou. Moreover, if he 1 rero a man capable of being influenced in ny such way as the Palmetto Pott insin- | ates, it would bo unnecessary now Col. ! )rr's term of oflico does not expire for two < ears yet. But it was a work of superogation 3 defend him against such a charge. Iio lands too high as a pure, honorable, consientious man, to need it.?Abbeville Mettngcr. 1 A Plucky Little Girl.?Belmont, Mass., , uly 7.?The dwelling bouse and stable of Ed-ard Barry, a day laborer on the Fitchburg .ail road, was burned to the ground early yes:rday morning. When the fire broke forth ' Ir. Barry was walking upon the railroad track a the direction of home somewhat under the ' aflucnco of liquor. In the house sleeping [uietly were five children, the eldest of whom, ' Icllie, had just reached her tenth year. Ever ince the death of her mother, which happened , short time ago, the little girl has served at lousekeeper for her father and taken care of icr smaller brothers and sisters. When the car part of the house was nearly consumed Nellie was awakened by a falling timber. Withint waiting to dress the caught up the baby, wo years old, and ran through the thick smoke rith it out upon the green award. She then lastened back to carry forth another, and so ontinucd until she had the whole four seurcly nestled together in front of the burning uilding. Just as the fire department arrived he room in which the children had been sleep- 1 og fell through with n crash, sending a hower of sparks far into the heavens. Important Decision.?Several months go mo (own council ot .Laurens arrested, ried and convicted a gentleman of the ouotry, as ho thought, in a harsh, arbirary and unjust manner, and he promptly nnounccd his attention to appeal to the ircuit court. Judge Hudson sustained iim, and ordered a new trial on the ollowing grounds : 1st. That before any man can bo tried loforo council be must be served with a unimons setting forth the time, the place, nd tbo naturo of the offence, at least five lays before trial. 2d. That the defendant was entitled to a rial by a jury. The council was represented by Solicitor luncan, assisted by Williamson Martin. 3ol. Irby, the defendent, was represented iy Lewis Simkins.?Ex Jay Ooi ld's Pu.vykh.?Our father, who art n England : Kothchilds be thy name; thy inancial kingdom iu America ; Ihy will be done 11 the United States ns it is ia England. Give is this day our bonds in gold, but no silver ; ;ive us plenty of laboring men's votes to keep he monopolists in power and their friends in iflice. IV e know, our father, we have done nany things that were wrong ; we know it was vroDg to refund the bonds end make them pay ..jib hi uuni , ?c unow 11 was wrong to demonitize silver ; we know it was wrong to water ill our railroad stocks but thou knowcst we nadc money by that. Now, our father, thou tnowest wc arc above polities. It is the same o us whether the Democrats or the Republicans ulo, for thou knowest we are able to sway all lolitioal jobs in our favor. Lead us not into he way of the strikers, but deliver us from the lands of tho insane Knights of laibor. Thus hall we have tho kingdom, bonds, interest tower and gold till Republic shall end. Amen. Selah.) Apr Kit Eating a Great Variety.? Never have a great variety at one nieal, >ut tnakj tho variety from ono nteal to the text. Did you over stop to think what a longlomcrated mass your stomach eonained after eating a groat varioty at one ncal 7 If not, just atuagine all you have rateu and drauk mixed up in a bowl, and lieu ask yourself the question whether it s any wonder that people have dyspepsia, ? Wextern Health Journal. A Kansas paper publishes 'fourteen rules to bo observed during a tornado.' Dnly one ia necessary?be aomewhare else*. An IxcoBiuuinLa Witness.?Perhaps wc have all known a man or woman who was incapable of giving an answer, yes or no, to a direct question. There are auch people. They are equally incapable of being impertinentor tantalising, hut their habits of thought are widespreading and their manner of speaking must be diffusive. Let such a man?or, to make matters worse, a woman?be subpoenaed as a witness in court, and the quickest witness lawyer known to the bench is most often completely routed. A case in- point was that of a man who had been placed on the stand with the expectation of developing through him the character of the prisoner at the bar. The fbltovHng was the result of the rash step: "Do you know the prisoner well ?" asked the lawyer. " i:-.? i?-_ nuvn UIUJ, (0|IIICVI IUO WllUCSS. "No levity," sternly. "Now, sir, did" you mr see the prisoner at the bar ?" "Had many a drink with him at the bar."' "Answer my question, sir," yelled the lawfer. "How long hare you known the prisoner ?'' "From two feet up to five feet ten inches.'' "Will the court make the " "I have, your Honor," said the witness, anticipating the lawyer; "I have answered the ]uestion. I knew the prisoner when he was a boy two feet ten The lawyer arose, placed both hands on tho table in front of him, spread his legs apart, leaned over I he table, and said : "Will you tell the court what you know about this case ?" "That ain't his name." "What ain't his name ?" "Case." "Who said it was ?" "You did. You wanted to know what 1 knew about this Case?his name is .Smith." "Your honor," howled the lawer, plucking bis beard out by the roots, "will you make this man answer?" "Witness, you must answer the questions put to you,'' said the Jndge. "Lord o' Goshen, your honor, hain't 1 bin loin it ? Let the council fire away I'm ready." "Then," said the lawyer, "don't beat about the bush anymore. You and this prisoner have been friends ?" "Never." "What ! 'wasn't you summoned hero as a friend of his ?" "No, sir, 1 was summoned here as a prcsbyterian. Neither of us was ever Friends; no Quaker about him." .'Stand down !" yelled the lawyer in deep disgust. "iley ?" "Stand down." "Can't do it. I'll ait djwn or eland up " "Usher, rcmore that man from Uia box." Witness retires, muttering, "Well, if ho ain't the thiek-headedest lawyer I ever laid eyea on." How iik Could Take Revenge.? 'Life,' said cynio?"life is not worth luring.' 'No T said the damsel at his side. 'Why V 'Life is a bore. Human nature is so tame, iusipid, ridiculous in all except tho vicious classes. Socioty in tho ncceptcd sense docs not live, my dear Miss Jones. It passes the time.' 'Aud has lots of fun sometimes.' 'Never. It believes it has fun, but it's very sorry, stupid, dull fun. I am a oynic. People bore me to death. Of coarse, there are exceptions, such as you? but?others. They talk aud talk and talk, and I?I sit and listen, and think what empty, brainless things men and women are. They weary me.' 'Well, why don't you take your revenge V 'How V 'Talk back to them.' And tho cynie grinned a sickly grin and dropped the subject. Eihjcatino tim Xkoro.?"Come lieah, chile, and'cite yo'g'og'afy. (limmc do book. Now, den, whar urn de souf pole ?" "Down souf, of course." "Wot rihberempties into de Gulf ol> Mexico? ' "Dunno.'' "Wot country was yo' bo'n in ?'' "Dunno, mammy; flin t got so fur as dot." "Whar am de . Sa'ay, chile, how yo' git yo ha'r so full of kinks?" "Tildy poured 'lasses on it." " Lasses, eh? Course yo' couldn't git no g'og'nfy lesson fru dem kinks. Now, den, ignorus, if yo' wanter git de prize in Sunday school, quit cotchin flics in yo' n;ouf an go larn yo* kattykism."?From Ltft. The Spartanburg Herald says : " We do not intend to pass judgment on Dr. Bellinger's guilt or innocence. He swore positively that he killed the negro in self-defence. Immediately after the killing it was published in the nreaa that 'Dr. llrllin<r?F uiil L ?V..._I|V. W?? M? nvuiu UIQ UC* fore be would tell why he did tbc deed.' If he made this statement the Assertion now tbnt it was dono in self-defence is incredible, and Dr. Bellinger bos added perjury to murder. If be did not make the statement the paper which published it published a wicked slander, and imperilled the life and character of a good man.'' We are authorised to say that the interview referred to took place only in the imagination of an unscrupulous reporter. Dr. Bellinger never at any time made the statement quoted in the Herald. Of course, the Herald has no desire to injure Dr. Bellinger, and has been betrayed into this error by misstntemenis of others. ?Ntrrt and Courier.