Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE WEEKLY MlUHION TIMES. footed lo ^jrieulturc, Jioitieuliiire, domestic fitonomg, f)olitt literature, polities, and the Current ^pcics of the gag. VOL. XVII.?New Series. UNION C. H? SOUTH CAROLINA, MARCH 19, 188G. NUMBER 11. a word ta fooij4 and ta tirwers. i ?11 ? - . - ~ ? ? - - ' Slate Rock, Columbia Co., Feb. 22. ?Editors Chronicle : The time is near at band for planting the crop of 1S8G. Will last year's experience make any changes for tho ( better ? Experience is n dear sohool, but fools will learn in no other. Now, I would ask, in tho Dame of reason and common sense, bare wo not been fools loDg enough 1 No farming community in any age or any country ever got along and did well who depended upon one product. Virginia tried it with tobacco aad failed. South America tried it with indigo and failed. The cotton belt tried it with cot ton and failed, and the all .cotton plan of farming, if continued much longer, will eat up the plantation, dirt and all. A good deal, of lato, is said nnd written about tho inefficiency of labor on tho farm ; still tho farmers stick to cotton, which requires more labor than anything we grow. Cotton will not do to cat. Labor follows meat and bread, and when tho farmer makes cotton to oxebange for all tho necessaries of tho farm, which must be hauled a thousand miles or moro at his expense, aud often sold on time at one hundred per cont. over first cost, is it strange that tho cotton crop fails or is exhausted before all tho bills are paid ? Wo have a farmer in the Republio of Columbia as plucky and energetic as can be found anywhorc, who has stuck to cotton through evil and good rcnort for seventeen vears?ho was stnotlv * J an all.cotton man. Lost year be made fifteen bales to tbe plow, but failed to pay out by two or three thousand dollars, and now offers his farm for sale. It is to be hoped that some one will purchase who has better farming sense to begin with. Another neighbor tried cotton for two years and declared that he got nothing but the seed. lie did most of the work and pulled through, until three or four years ago he changed the schedulo and began making his own supplies. lie is now ablo to declare small dividends every year. All that saved him duiing the cotton mania was, ho ruu on cash, and. as he described it, 'cut cfose and squinohed his thirst.' Another iarmer in an adjoining county. Iv^MHtgagcd hih /arm to a merchant to get supplies, at 86 per acre. He was also a cotton man. In two years ho ate up tho farm, besides all the cotton he could make, and was badly iu debt besides. I speik of these things to show how foolish it is for the farmer to continuo the all-cotton plan r?f fnrminir?which makes the credit svs tem a ueceasity nod then loaves him at the mercy of the merchant, forgetting that there 'is policy in war, but no friendship in trading.' No legitimate business known to civilized man can live to pay the credit prices lor meat and bread and almost everything used upon n farm. Better rub out and begin new, and, in case of death, will what wo havo to the morchaot, and recommend our families to mercy. In fact, no man is exactly free who cither begs or buys his bread, and when bought at credit prices, he is a slave indeed. It is not surprising that our Southern farmers are slow to eatch on to the changed condition of labor. The change was very great, but still the negro as a wage working people is the best labor wc can get. What race of white people would work for thirty or forty cents a day, a peck of meal and three pounds of meat a week, and retire to his cabin at night happy and contented, the year round. If the farmers of Georgia would leave the old rut this spring and plant plenty of everything which can bo raised on tho farm consumed by man or beast, and thon plant onough cotton to keep all hands em? ployed when not eognged with the provision crop ; and then resolve that, all, both white and black, who are able to work, must go at it and ttick to it until the crop is made and gathered, it would almost raiso Oeorgia farmers from a dead level to a living perpendicular. I bolievo tho old adage is : 'A wiso man sometimes changes his opinion, a fool never.' It would appear that, alter tweuty yoirs' sad experience in cotton, we might learn to be wise. It is confidently believed that cotton is now below the cost of production, even for those who can ruu the farm for cash, soil, labor, &o., considered ; I mean now the all-cotton men ; and for those who are trying it on lime? farewell tsid world. * I did want to say a few things on the subject of intensive farming, and although my letter is long, will risk one or two thoughts, and, to begin, let mo say that farmers are not agreed upon this subjeot ; tor instaooe, one of my neighbors prepared land and and set out his potato slips ; he manured highly and got io the grass generally and when he went to work out the pateh the grass had such a firm hold he found it impossible. He quietly prepared another patch, pulled up the slips and transferred them to patch No. 2. This he v?ui;u iuivu.iivv farming. it is sni'l mat economy is the mother of money, may it not bo tuid that labor is the foundation 8tono ? As labor is now, this is a rolling stono; tho bed rock is not steady nor reliable, hence the farmer can hardly risk setting nil his eggs in one nest, but had better climb the ladder a round at a time ?begin tho intensivo system on a small, scalo, and that for cash, depend more upon his own muscles, wrestle on, toil on, and may be after a long, dark night, day may break in full view of the promised land. Traveller. The Last Words ok a Drunkard? Tho following extracts wore taken from one of the lectures of J. J. Talbot, who recently died from the effects of a drunken debauch at Elkhart, Indiana: 'But now tho struggle is over. I can survey the field and mcasuro tho losses. i bad lost position high and holy. The demon toro from arouud me the robes of , my sacred office and sent me out churchless , and Godless, a very hissing and byword ( among men. Afterward I had a business large and lucrative, and my voice was beard ^ in'largc courts, pleading for justice, mercy and right. But the dust gathered ou my j books, and no footfalls crossed the thresh- j old of tho drunkard's office. I bad money , ample for all necessities, but it took wings, | and went to feed the coffers of tho devil which possessed mo. I had a homo, adorns ed with all that wealth could buy. The devil crossed tho threshold and the light < faded/rem its chambers-; the firo went out < on the holiest altars, and leading me from 1 the portals, despair walked forth with me, I and anguish ligncrod within. I had cbil- ' dren?beautiful to me, at least, as a dream ' of tho morning?and they had so entwined i themselves around their futhcr's heart that i no matter where it might wander, ever it i came back to them on tbo wings of a father's I undying love. Tho destroyer took their t hand iu his and led them away. I bad < a wife whose cbaruis of mind and person j were such that to see her was to remember I her, and to kuow her was to love her. ] Thirteen years we walked tho ragged path of life together, rejoioing in its sunshine and sorrowing in its shade. Tho infernal i monster would not even sparo me this. 'I had a mother who for long years had i uot left her chair, a victim of suffering and l diseaso, her choicest delight was in rcflec- I ing that tho lessous taught at her knees < hud taken root in tho heart of her youngest i born, and that he was useful to bis fellows, I and an honor to hor who bore him. But i the thunder bolt reached even there, and 1 did its cruel work. Other days may cure t all but this. Ah, uie! never a reproach ( from these lips; only a shadow of unspoken grief gathering on her doar old face; only 1 a tender hand laid more lovingly upon tny head; only a closer clinging to tho cross, only a piteous appeal to heaven if her cup was not at last full. And while her boy raged in his wild delirium two thousand miles away, the pitying angels pushed the golden gates ajar, and the mother of the drunkard cntored iuto rest. And thus I stand, a clergyman without n church, a barrister without a brief or business, a fafKnr witKdiit a /tkilil n K<*almn?l nilkAitf nl%Ml'u* w v,,,,u> 11 UWOWHUU "ll,lluu* a wife, a son without a parent, a man without hope?all swallowed up iu the matltrom of driuk.' A Rat at the Opeka.?Richmond, Va, March 3.?During the performance of 'Mam'zello' by Almeo to-night quite a sensation was created by the debut of a large rat in tho theatre. It was between the second and Inst acts and just following the unusual incidents in front of the stage in the second act. The orchostra had just begun the ovcrturo when tho kottle drum man was obscrvod to jump from his seat and striko violently with his drumsticks. The blow was aimed at a huge rat which had obtained freo admission from tho cellars of the th satre and, attracted by the musio, landed himself in tho drummer's lap. lleing dislodged therefrom he then made tho circuit of tho space along tho front of the stago allotted to tho band. All of the musicians leaped from thoir chairs, stamp ing aod striking at tho rat, which then sprang over tho balcony in to the parquet, which was filled with ladies. Almost a panic ensued. His ratship coursed through tho bouso causing the entire audience to spring to their feet, while cries oi 'rat! rat! rat I rang through tho theatro. To the credit of the ladies, bo it said, tbey maintained their presence of uiind and did not scream, but many young men jumped upon their seats in great foar and ^ Ration. Tbo whole theatre QfejIBw *o uproar, until finally a gallant ex-officer stamped the intruder out of existence aod order was restored. The inoideot was the talk of tha evening. L?L*CK HUNTING IN (iKORUIA.?Tbcri is io Sumtor County, Ga., n certain poo< or swauip of 100 acres or more. Tho wa ter is very shallow, and grass grows luxu riantly io it. Hero horses and cnttlo lov to feed and ducks to congregate in grea numbers. They do Dot fonr the dorses ant cattle, but arc very shy when a mau i around. Jim Murray thought that b; hitching his horse to a flat bottom boat hi could drive all over the swauip and kill m end of ducks. The plan worked well a first. Tho horse dicw the boat easily, bu when at the right time Jim said 'Whoa, and jumped up to firo at the ducks, thon was a bitch in the programme. Tho horsi stopped, but the boat didn't. It ejuietlj floated on and banged against tho horse'i hind legs. Tho horso jumped, and at thai Jim took a header backward into the wator is guu going twenty feet beyond him Just where the gun went is not cortain It has not been seen since. The horso one the boat kept right on. When tho horse wanted to stop, the boat hit his legs and urged him forward. When the boat wan tAfl (n fttnn flirt Kurort flirln'fc lrnnm If ? ?r ? " Finally boat and horso got thoroughly tarn ;;led up, and the latter went down. Thee Jim's brother Torn, who had been watching the Bbow from the solid land, waded in and cut the horse loose, and at the sauie lime Jim waded out. The boat was nol liurt in the least. A l)oo That Consulted the Clock ?An old farmer from Ainboy, Oswegc jounty, took great interest in the trained logs which appear in the Grand Operafiouse this wcok, as they were taken iatc die Candeo House after the show last night. I used to have a dogs,' said the farmer, which was the most knowing nnd intellectual dog you ever see. lie could tell about nrhat time it was by the clock just as well ss I could. Ho would run into the house in tho afternoon without rayiu? & word to anybody, and look up to th< slock and if it wasn't quarter past five be'd go off about his business. Then be'd com< back again and tho second it was quartet past five be'd bark and start for tin cows 'One day mywouian thought she'd at* if tho dog could be fooled, and at 1 o'clock in the afternoon she turned the clock to 5 The dog came in, looked indifferently uj tl the clock, stopped shook his head, and then ran out to look at the sun. He came back again, squatted down and eyed thai slock as if he was waiting for a rat. When the minuto hand got around to quarter pail he started off as usual and before wo could itop him he bad all thorn cown up in th( barn-yard. I drove them back, and a tnon mortified person you nover see than th al dog. He ran into the house, but the womac had turned the hands back to tho true time The dog jumped up at the clock and acted as if he wanted to tear it to pieces. II< always seemed to distrust the dumb thine after that.? Syracuse Standard. Cheap money needed.-Quite a nuutbc of the business men of Augusta have ex. pressed themselves on tho financial situatioi in that city with refcrcnco to the condition whioh prevent a sufficient supply of monej at low rates of interest. President Ilickuian, of the Grauitevilh Manufacturing Company, says : There i: plenty of cheap money in tho country. It New York it can be had at 1 to 1) per cent on call, and at 3 to 4 per cent, on time with good collatorala. The reason tha money is not cheap and plentiful here i because we have nothing to give in exchang for it. We have cotton, but the money w get for our cotton has to bo 6pent for meal corn, flour and bay, and a hundrod othc things that wo ought to raise ourselves. N laws can bo enacted that will uiake mono; cheap in the South so long as ootton is raisei to the exclusion of everything else. II who raises nothing but cotton ca buy it cheaper than he can raise it. The why raise cotton ? Why not do nothing an buy it? The present banking system is har on tho South. National bauks aro taxc too hoavily. In our country where ther is so little money to deposit national bank canuot make money with the present heav tax on them. Capital ought not be taxed i all; to secure cheap money it should be freo A Lion Sucttr.si) by a Poo.?Thre months since two lion oubs were born i my menagerie. Tbreo weeks afterward, fo some reason, tbo mother forsook themprobnbly her milk failed. Wo found on dead and the other nearly so. My hea keeper removed it. and put it with a fema! dog to suckle, and has suocceded in rearin it to its present age. The strange fact that it refuses its natural food?raw fleshbut partakes freely of any cooked food, ei pecially vegetables of all kinds, and acti ally takes tea with relish. It has beoom quits attached to the keeper's wife, an follows her like a dog.?I Aver pool Pot 3 Mind in Fakminu.?The idea generally 1 prevailed in the past, and possibly nioro by u ? farmers than others, (hut for the business i - of farming but little intellectual training e b was necessary. A willingness to work on u t in the old routine that has been transmitted tl 1 from the practices of the past, was all that tl s could be safely relied ou for success. This h f narrow view, boru and kept alive by ignor- a 3 anco only, is a mistaken fallacy o( the past, r< 3 fast dying out, rather than the sentiment tl t of intelligent, present thought. The agri- ti I culture of to-day is not based on manual a ' labor alone. The education of tho mental tr 3 faculty*,"'as well as tho training of the p< j band' to work skillfully, is recognized ti f as an essential in fitting for the life work k i of thc-farm. Upon these, intelligence and ic t labor combined, rest the hope of progress , in agriculture. And yet it may bo qucs- di . tioncd if farmers fully appreciate the value si . to their children of a home training and w I education in the work and in tho business hi 5 ot the tarui. J'Jach yc ir there go out from ic I the farms youog men and women to assume T - tho work of nianagiug farms for them- ol . selves. Arc these young mcu and women al - as well oducatcd aud trained in tho work p< i and business affairs of the farm as they, cc tho sons and daughters of farmers, ought, tl I with their opportunities, to he ? We fear tl i thcro is yet too much ofiudifforcncc in pa- tc ; rents in teaching their children tho busis v< uess of farming, cot ouly as a trade, but le as a profession. It ought to be kept con' stantly in view that the training and cduca- to ' tion uceded by the farmer can largely be w ' learnod at houio, and that the practical cc knowledge thus gained will be of incstU ci ) mable value?so much capital with which w to begin tho business of farming. gi 1 g< The Man who Whites Conghess1 men's Speeches.?Col. Carter, the charac-* ' ter who writes speeches for Cougrossmen, ^ 1 is having a good time this season. The ^ > silver question has been a perfect mine for ^ 1 him. Thero arc seventy men who aro now ' down on the Speaker's list for speeches on ^ : this qqfstion, and it is said that not a few ^ ' of thoiu camo from Mr. Carter's pen. Mr. g ' Oartcrwho is quito deaf, also does a great j 8 deuf wwbrtf To* attorneys. FTe has probably ' written more speeches than any man in ^ ' this country. His writing is by no moans ? - . 1? - coDunca 10 any particular set ol subjects, lie writes upon all the topics coming before Congress. The other day in conver' sation Mr. Carter said : 'I write speeches upon all sorts of subjects, but my hobby is ^ k sermons. I love to write sermons. Yes, I . . n I have quite an extensivo patronago in g this line from clergymen all over the coun- ai ^ try. A clergyman gets tired, and yet lie knows his congregation will expect a bril- -u liant sermon from him next Sunday. lie | sends to me and I write it for him. Very n often I can giv3 him some novel ideas on t) tho subject. I certainly do enjoy writing 1 a sermon. I do not care much about the Unitarian and Univorsalist variety, but I B r fairly revel in theold-timo Methodist kind.' 0 Carter is one of the characters at tho Cap- f j itol. There are others who write speeches F s occasionally, but bo is tho only tnau wlip s f u>akos hia living exclusively from this v peculiar and novel kind of work.?iV. V. l , Telegram. v o Farmers Waiinki).?Spartanburg, March 0. a ?The call for a farmers' convention is not a d surprise, as Capt. Tillman's suggestion met J 1 with such general approval. The signers from a ' this county are all farmers, with no other busi- j ' ness. except one, who, in addition to bis farm e also practices medicine. They are good and e true men, and our county wil (certainly expect 8 j no harm from a convention of such delegates. c ' With the farmers of the State united for politi- c r cat purposes, and the Free Traders combined \ 0 for the same purpose, and the "State House 1 Ring," if there be any such concern, there will 1 be little chance for the rest of the people. ^ o They can do nothing but "lie low and say nothQ ing." The mass of our people, however, are not aroused to anything like an excited interest 8 ? as to any of these movements. Professional c ^ men without business or means, soroheads that I d have healed up since tho last election, and those j d who aspire to place and power are anxious to } 0 see any political upheaval, thinking that they ^ g will come to tho surface and float like trash on a troubled stream. Against such as these our v y farmers should protect themselves in their con- v vention. Such will attempt to run the conven- 8 ' tion, their idea being that the farmers need bold leaders. Our county has great confidence te In the genuine farmers of our State, but none ^ D at all in briefless lawyers, bob-tailed politicians, c r chronic office-seekers and the like. Of such f beware. They are to be found in every county. ' ?Cor. Ne%cm and Courier. e ^ ^ A Miskrabli Pats.?On Monday morning ' '? Mr. J. Burton Smith brought his grown son to ] 8 Spartanburg to hare him committed to the ^ id lunatio asylum. In September last an earwig | ? entered his ear ; he suffered excruciating tort- ( h ure. His head became so swollen that it burst r at the temple. Twelve days age pressure upon his neck forced the putrid little viper from his 0 ear. But his sufferings have been so intense | d that his intellect is gone?his mind is a blank, i 4. ?Spartan. ( I'en and Ink foii (Jiiii.dken.?Ono nain reason why poor writing is so general, s that children do not take pen and ink arly enough. Children who writo nicely ipon slates gcncrlly write miserably when hey first take pen and iuk. They hold he pen in a cramped position, pinching ard as though fearful it would ho jerked way. They tako too much ink and the jsult is unseemly blots. They bear on so lat the point of the pen frequently puncircs the paper and fhc ink flies #about in shower of small drops. It is a hcrculcau isk to got children, when tlioy first take en and iuk iu the fourth grades, to habitally hold tho pen loosely, assumo and ccp the proper position, aud tako a littlo ik at a time. The secret of the difficulty is this. Cbilrcn write during the Grst two years with a ate pencil, and duriug the third year ith slate and load pencil. They form the ibit of bearing on because it is necessary i order to make a mark with a pencil, hey arc able to write with a pcucil in one * uiauy different positions, and they usuly tako and bccomo accustomed to some }sition uusuited to pou writing. Tbo mscqucncc is, that when they take a pen icy arc confirmed in the habit of taking tat wrong position ; they are accustomed i pinhcing hard and bearing on, the jry things they must not do if tboy would arn to write well with a pen. The remedy, it sccuis to me, is to learn i write with a pen the first thing. They ould have no bad habits to uulearn, and mid easily bo taught to hold a pen prop^ |y. At this more tractable ago they ould more readily follow the directions iven, and form the habits essential to a jod hand.?II. K. Warren. The Heathen Chinee Doomed.? II Paso, Texas, March 4.?- In the last few ?ys a large number of Chincso from CalL imia have passed through El Paso on leir way to New Orleans and some Texas ities. Many of ihcui arc also locating in lie tentorial towns of New Mexico nnd trirona. San Frauuisco is represented as warming with Mongolians who have been cipeu <Vit of Oregon nod Washington Tcritories, and the prcssuro, it is claimed, is eing relieved by the 'six companies,' which re shipping them East whore the antag* tr'sm against the Chinese is not as 6trong 3 on tho Pacific slope. Ilis influx, however, into the territories f Arizoua aud New Mexico, has aroused ie latest antagonism tTicre and antLChE csc leagues havo already bceu organized at ocarra and other towns in New Mexico, ad at Tucson and Tambatane, Arizona, hich places are suffering from a heavy lcrcase in their Chinese population, nnd 'hich may lead to their violent eviction, as ras recently the case in Washington Terri* >ry. A Den oe Wolves.?Lawrence, Kan., larch 10.?A farmer in the southern part f this county discovered a cave on his arm inhabited hy about three hundred irairio wolves. A large party yesterday cnt one or two dogs into tho cave ar.d they rerc promptly torn to pieces. Tho men hen dug a holo iu the cave back of tho rolvcs. Two men entered and advanced n the rear of the mass of animals! After ,n all day's siege the hunters decided to Irivc out thoir prey and kill as many ns >ossiblo. All drew back from tho front iud kept quiet and two men again entered n the rear. A stampede followed aud in l short time tho cave was empty. Tho hooters did gold work and about a hunIrcd dead wolves strewed the ground. The ilhcrs escaped. It is supposed tho animals wintered in the cave. .? Never suspect a friend of doing you a rrong until the truth is as plain and as ilear as the sun at noon on a cloudless day, md then, yes, oven then, do not accuse or leosurc until you have heard from his own ips his version and explanation of the sup* >oacd wrong;. If you ever wero a friend to lim he ia certainly entitled to that much orbearanee and consideration. If this rule ?ero practiced, maoy a uiiaundorstauding vould bo averted and many a heartache pared. Df.atii ok tub Rkv. Mr. Lucas.?The Fev. rhomas Lucas, of tho Episcopal church, dieu in Tuesday at the residence of Henry Ewbank, ifteen miles above the city, near Traveller's lest. Mr. Lucas was about 70 years old and pad been rector of the church at Sumter, tbout a year ago he retired from the pulpit md came here to spend the remainder of his lays with Mrs. Ewhank, who was his sister, lie has been conducting services in the Episcopal chapel in the neighborhood. His body was prought to the city on Tuesday night and was ifnt to the low country on the C. & Q. R. Rrhursday morning.?Ortenvillr News. Lauricn Rivets advises all young men to ;et married, but not to marry a girl think^ ing aho's domestic because she has flour on her faee. HOUSEHOLD RECIPES. Pockktiiook Rolls.?Take at noon one pint of mcruiog's milk, a piece of butter half as large as an egg, ono tablespoonfni of sugar and a little salt ; boil all together and when cool add one-half cup of yeast (or one-half of a yeast cako dissolved in one*half cup of water) and two quarts of flour ; knoad as you would bread and set in n warui piaco to rise. It will bo light by six o'clock in the eveniug ; then knead it again. At nino o'clock knead it down again, using as littlo flour as possible. In tho morning rollout without kneading about half an inch thick, cut out, apread very thin with butter, fold over, put in a buttered pan and after letting thorn rise a few minutes, bake. Soft Muffins.?Ono quart of milk, three eggs, one teaspoonful of salt, a pieco of butter tbc size of an egg, four teaspoonfuls of yeast, aud sifted flour to make a stiff batter. Warm the milk aud butter tos gcthcr and add the salt ; beat tho eggs vory light and stir them iuto tho milk and butter; then stir iu the yeast and last the flour. Cover tho mixturo and set it to riso for throo hours or until light, iu a warm place. Bake in muffin rings or heated ecui irons until a light brown. May be mixed at night and used for breakfast. Roll Pudding.?Rub a piece of butter the size of an egg into ouo quart of flour iu which has bccu sifted two toaspoou?uls of cream-tartar aud one teas-poouful of soda. Mix with sufficient sweet {milk to ^ make :i dough that can be rolled out. After rolling it out into a sheet, spread with any kind of fruit, fresh, canned or prosorvod, and then roll up, being careful to fold tho ends so that tho fruit will not run out. Steam one hour a-.d cat with a sauce. Cookies.?Ouc cup of powdered sugar, one-half cup of sour milk, one-half teaspoon'* ful of soda sifted three limes through tiro oups of flour ; one-half of a small nutmeg and a handful of raisins. Rub the butter and sugar to a cream, then add the egg, oc? milk aud spice and last the flour. Roll thin, cut into round cakes and bake in a quick ovtu pressiiiaymo raisin into the centre of each colfll^^^ Sausages.?If fried, it must belong and gently, but they arc much better if baked in the oven with a little water. This steams and thoroughly cooks them ; they should be baked until nicely browned and they will n.?t be as dry as when fried. Servo with potatoes, cider apple sauco, plain stewed opplcs without sugar or sour pickles. Kvcry housekeeper should have not only a recipe book but also a receipt book. Ilavc a bottle of mucilage and a book, and pasto in the latter every receipt given4by 'The butcher, the baker, The candlestick maker.' This will be found a safe aud convenient way of preventing trouble and no bill will be paid twice. Wedded Over thf.ih Child's Grave. ?Nashville, Tcnn., March 9.?A remarkable wedding occurred at Chcstuut Mound, Tcnn., yesterday. The bride is of a good family aud the bridegroom betrayed her two years age. lie refused to redeem his promise, and to escape tho vengoance of her male relatives he fled. During his absence a child was born and died. Tho father subsequently repented aud obtained forgivcuess by a solemn promise to atone by at once making her his wife. Tho cer* emonv took nlaco vesterdav morninc. * ft f J O They repaired to the grave of their child, with friends and the miuistcr, and kneeling one at each side of the tomb with bauds clasped above it they spoke the vows which unitod them, the servico boing read by the ininistor, who stood at the foot of the grave. ? 'Ain't it time you paid tnc that fivo dolara yo i owe mo, a9ked a farmor of his neighbor. 'Taiu'tdue,' was the roply. ,llut you promised to pay mo when you got back from New York.' 'Well, I haint been there,' he replied. . Mas. Catnip. (To her worsor half, who has boon pacing the floor with Miss. Catnip >.etat one)?'That child is tuch a trial, isn't she, Georgo dear ?' George.?'I should simper ! And when I she outgrows paregoric you can bet I'll never movo for a new trial. You NO mother, (displaying the baby.) ?'Now isn't aho a dear little thing, Mr. Podsnap V Mr. Podsnap, (father of a large family.) ?'Yes, they're very expensive. I've got six of 'em.' ? 'Does your family play ball ?' was asked of a little shaver. 'Mo and mother does,' he replied. 'I bawl and she makes the base hits.