Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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A GIRL .OF THE PERIOD. Miss l'allns Endor* Von Blurky, 8ho didn't know chickeiWrotn turkey ; High Spauishaud Greek she could fluently speak, Qui lpr knowledge of .poultry was murky. e Ci * J v . v? . . . Sho could tell the great uncle of Moses, And the dates of the Wars of the Koses, And tho reasons of things, why the Indians wore rings. In their red, aboriginal noses. ' v ' Why Shakespeare wits wrong in his grammar, And the meaning of Emerson's "Brahma"; And she went chipping rocks with a little black box And a small geological hammer; J .< Sho>had tiews upon eo-education And the principal ueeds of tho nation, And her glosses were blue, and tho number she knew , Of the stars in cadi high constellation. And she wrote in a handwriting clerky, j\nu sue laiKcu witu an emphasis jerky, And she painted on tiles in tlio sweetest of styles ; " But she didn't know ckickcn froni turkey ! < SOME GOOD RECIPES. Editor Housekeeper :?Atnoug my rocipes I select the following, hopiug some of them tuny be of benefit to your readers: Fried Brains.?Soak ia hot water a few minutes, wheu they can bo cleansed readily, than cat into pieces, salt aud pepper,* dip in beaten eggs, roll in coru meal aud fry. To Cure Hoarseness.?At this season of colds it may be useful to know that hoarseness is relieved by using the white of an egg, thoroughly beaten, mixed with lemon jucc and sugar. A teaspoonful takou occasionally is the dose. Bread.FtrDj>iN(j.?TJnlermcutcd browu broad two ounces ; milk half a pint; one egg j sugar quarter of an ounce. Cut thebread into slices and pour the milk over it, boiliug hot; let it stand til! well soaked and stir in the egg and sugar, well bcateu, with a little grated nutmeg, aud bake or steam for one, hour. f ? Oyster fiUtTpKS,?DrAin off liquor, boil, sVinqand to a cupful add a cup of milk, two or thrco eggs, salt nnd pepper, atid flour enough to make a thick batter. Have hut lard or beef dripping ready in a kettle, drop the batter in it with a largo spoon, taking qj* an evstor Ji>r cadi -spoonful. The oysters inusi bfc la^jc 4?nd pluuip. 4 Batter and Apples.?l'ar? and core six apples,: and stew them for ?whort time with a little sugar; make a batter iu the >fskal wW} beat ih the apples and pour the ^ftiflding iito a buttered piediih. The pjjdf dhfg, when properly douc, should rise up quite light, with the apples-on top. To bo eaten at table with butter and moist sugar. Scotch Brotii.?Take half teacup barley ; four quarts cold water ; bring to the boil and skim ; put iu now a neck of inutton And boil again for htlf.au hour ; skim ^wlf flic Sides also the pot; have ready two carVots, ohtHargi onion, one small head of cabbage, one bunch parsley, oue sprig celery tops; chop all these fine ; add your chopped vctrctables.'DCDUfer And salt, to taste: take twp'boars to cook. arrle Sauce Pie.?Take mellow, tart tipples; pare, core and stew till the pulp is free from lumps, and mash fine. To every piut of the sauco add a tca&poouful of butter, one teaspoonful of ground cinnamon, aud beat all together. Lino a pic-tin with crust aud fill in the sauce. Cut strips of pastry and decorate the pie. Pake in a moderately hot oven. When the crust is done tho pie will be ready to remove from the oveu. To'bo eaten warm with a dressing of sweet cream dipped ?ovcr it.?"LaMAR." in " The Housekeeper MacaUoni with Haas.?Break half a pbund of macaroni into short bits; cook tender in boiling, salted water ; drain well; put into a deep dish and pour over it It cupful of drawn batter in which huvo been stirred two beaten eggs, and two tablesspoonsful of grated cheese, with salt and pepner. 'Loosen the macaroni to allow tho sauce to penetrate the mass. Serve with more grated cheese: To Fry's alt Pork.?Oat into very thin yfiae# nod freshen by lotting-Jie for an hoiy or'tnorc incold milk or water; roll in flojtr and fj^y until crisp; drain from the faI and place the slices where they will kfep warm ; jiouroflf most of tho fat from tUc frying.pan and stir in, while liof, a tavle^noonful of flour?a littlo more may be ndded if tho gravy bo liked thictf?and halfyTpinC of new milk; season with pepper ahd shit if not spit enough ; boil up and serve with the crisped pork. Cot Flo\vbr?k?Insert the stems of cut flowers in water iu which twenty-five grains of sal-ammoniac to the quart have been dissolved, and they may be preserved from two to three weeks during tho winter. Apple Dumplings.?Threo Dints flour. butter sizo of egg, heaping teaspoon salt, three boaping toaspoons Itoyal Raking Powder, water sufficient for a soft dough, roll throe-eighth's inch thick. Pare and core in halves any number of good apples, cut dough in small pieces, wrap the apples in it and boil in water 30 miuutcs. Serve with sweetened cream or good milk.?J. S. G. in Housekeeper. Jelly-Cake Fritters.?Cut a stale spongo or very plain cake into rouuds with a cake-cutter; fry to a nice brown in sweet lard; dip each round in boiliny milk, to soften it and get rid of the grease ; lay upon a hot dish and spread with swcot jelly or jam ; pile neatly one upon another. Serve with hot sweetened cream. A Modern Bluf. Law.?Stealing less than a thousand dollars shall be considered theft, punished by hard labor in State pris son ; stealing one hundred thousand dollars shall be deemed an irregularly and tho irregulator rhall be punished by having a carpeted cell, private table and a prospective pardon in an ' institution." /SF' ?? III I i. , I i^?^WW|f?M AK EXTRAORDINARY SUICIDE. A TRAVELER BROILS UI8 BACK OVER A SLOW FIRE, AND DESCRIBES U1J| EXPERIENCE. > The St. Petersburg Zc tinny putdishaf ^ tho following account of a suicide recently couiuiittcd in tbo town of jhitomir, nndeft j exceptionally appalling circumstances; |\ few days ago a well-dressed traveler arrijtyf at tho Hotel do France ot that city, Bta^rig that ho was Mr. Joseph, O , m colonial. , agent, and that ho wished to stay a short ( tiuio in Jhitomir upon business. A rogui , on tho socoud floor of the hotel was assigned to him, and ho spent two or three days in tX7 nllr iri(? n Ka t i f t It a of p.tnt o nlf Itniiolt lltA <> UIBIUQ UWUV VUU D%IVWVOJ AlbUUU^ II WUV weather was uuusafly wet and stormy. On the fourth evening ho retired to his room early aud locked himself in. Next morning ho was QAllcd at his usual hour, but returned uo answer to tho summons. After a good deal of futile kuockiug and shouting, the hotel proprietor became alarmed at his tenant's protracted silcnco and caused the door of tho room to bo broken open. A terrible spectacle proscntcd itself to the assembled household. Mr. O?; 'a body was lyiug ou tho bare bedstead, from which tho mattress and bed-clothes had bccu remjved; ouo of the sheets partly covered the legs of the corpse, which was otherwise in a state of nudity, his left hand pressed tightly upon tho region of tho heart, and his right hand convulsively clutching~"Hio hair. Tho eyes were wide open, fixed in a glassy death stare, and features distorted with agony. An opprossiv'o odor, as of scorched fat, pervaded the room. No wouud was perceptible upon tho body, but tho chest was transversely barred iu several places by dull red stripes. As soon as the 1 police, accompanied by tho local medical i officer, had uiado its appcarauec on the scene of this horrible tragedy, tho corpse was turned over upon its faco, when tho cause ot deatu became tor the tirst time appareut to the terror-stricken spectators. A deep and broad burn was exhibited iu the middle of the back, aud the spine was lbuud to be completely carbonized.? Upon the floor, underneath the bedstead, n were discovered the wicks, imbedded in a little blotch of cold stcarine, of tlirco candles, which had been taken out of the candlesticks and fixed upon the planking upon a layer of melted grease. Over the flame of tlio ca idles Mr. O -had lain upon the skeleton framo-work of his bedstead , and suffered his spioo to be slowly consumed uutil he died. A manuscript, placed upon a table close to the bed, contained not only , a resume of the reasons which prompted this uufortunate man to undergo self-inflicted martyrdom, but minute details of the , torturiug process by which ho had chosou to destroy his life. It was written in four languages?German, llussian, Polish and ( Czechish?aud commenced in a firm, bold \ handwriting, the Just few pages, however, ; being scarcely legible, having evidently i been penned in dire agony. The first par- < agraph, in German, ran as follows : "I | thought it would cease, but it ceases not! < So bo it, then. Hereby I proposo to solve an important question, namely, arc suicides < in their right senses, or aro they the vie- | tims of mental aberration ? Thus tho qucs- | tion is commonly put; but I fancy that it | docs not touch tho real point at issue. A t man makes up his mind to put an end to 1 his lifo when he finds that he takes no in- i tcrcst in it; when he cannot discover in ] the whole wide world the least thing which awakens sympathy in his breast. The qucs- , tion, therefore, is not whether the suicide ] be uiad or sane, but whether or not ho have anything to hope for from life. 1 hope for nothing in life; but my intclloct is perfect- ; ly clear, (in Russian.) There is still < another question to solve. (In German.) Arc suicides cowards? That lover who allowed himself to bo dragged to death by a horse before the eyes of his betrothed affords ho proof to tho contrary. Perhaps he would have cast himself loose from the cords that bound hiui had it been in his power to do so. That other fellow, who burned himself to death in Odessa, was probably no coward, for ho might have thrown away the petroleum lamp and thus saved his life. Yet his clothes were already on fire, and the straw he was lying upon was smouldering; still he may have wished to escape death had it boon feasible. Now a burning candle, to the flame of which the' backbone and spinal ninrrow ar exposed, must certainly make an end of life; that cast of death must be uttendod with atrocious sufferings ; and tho person inflicting such agony upon himself, having no power to contend with but his own proper will and pleasure, can at any moment interrupt tho process by the slightest movement of his body. I will submit myself to this torturo. (in Russian.) Should I not succeed iu enduring tho pain, tho question will bo settled, at least for tho present, in the 8cu80 that suicides are cowards. But if my corpso be found, exhibiting proof thai I have obtained death by two agencies ?by burning candlos, as ministering factors, and by my dominent will, which has not blenched before excruciating torments ?that will bo proof positive that mon may die of thoir own free choice. - Let me begin! Here tho writing became irregular, and progressively more and more illegible. "I arise from my fiery couch amid bidoous sufferings, but still not so terrible as I had anticipated and feared. I arise, but not to savo myself. No! Jifo is as obnoxious to me as ever. Hut I must send you, (in Czechish) my mother, my futhcr, a last farewell; my last remembrance,*my last sentiments arc dedicated to you ! I think also of those who are the unwitting cause of this my dreadful death. Unwitting?for thoy knew not that their love was indispensable to my lifo. I die without their uffcction, like a fish without water, like a creature of (Jod without air. My breath fails me. Farowoll! You will follow mo soon. Consideration of your feelings? you, who alone lore me?ban prevented me % r-v\ * ** for a long while fioin thus putting an eud to myself. I oaunot do otherwise. It is so oasy to follow tho dead. But it would bfe better were you to forgot me. Thjirii lty>t of mo I I ant dying?tho experiment will.suoceed?tho worst pains aVo past. I do not suffer so rnuoh now. Pain has at length become my frioud. (La Geruiau.) I repoat it?I am in tho full possession of my faculties?my heart beats as stoadily no 11 o ii n 1 V\i?S ??- ? ??'?- ? * * * ' w uguui, wuh iuj uuiou occnts ?o uio a lit tin Jcraugcd. Poor Wertherftho stargeunhcd S* js still interested him 1 -I also bavo cd at it?it is a insert thero abovo, like e bonoath, like everywhere ; oye, as in uiy.hoart and everywhere else ! (Iu Polisli.N I return to my strange, silontly buriAnj* bed. 1 must put something under the Indies to raise them up a little. Only one ttymg annoys me, that ono cannot die nobly %ud pleasantly ; the evil suiell of my owd consuming body offends uiy nostrils. (In Czechish.) Mother ! father 1 forgive mo ! (In German.) Perhaps I should also sot dowu that I. forgive tho-bciug wiio has caused my death. But that would be d lie. I ^prse her; and if spirits have the [fowef to retikn iu ghpstly terrors, oh ! I will do so, nod leavo her no single moment's peace. It would have been so easy for her to niako me happy, or at least coutcrtcd. If I could romaiu alivo my life should be vowed, .exclusively to vongoanco on her. But I atq going to my rest. Bo she accursed with my last breath 1" Such wore the last words scrawled on this extraordinary document by un obviously dyiug hand. Tiik Kriiith nv It a i? in at. I.iva?On Thursday evening of last week, at about 8 o'clock, us l)r. Geo. L. Kirby, a leading physician of this town, was going from his office to his residence, ho hoard cries of distress and calls for assistance, proceeding froui the large two-story house owned by Bryaut Capps, colored, and used by hiui us a sort of a hotel for the accommodation of colored people. Hurrying into the room lie fouud a mulatto woman, named Maria Creascy, hailing from Boston, Muss., with an enormous gash in hor throat, and literally bathed in blood, which was still flowiug profusely from the wouud which had nearly severed the jugular vein. Hastily applying pvessuro to stop the blood, ho sent for tlio necessary appliances, and, with the assist,,nn? n- VV IT M nnro ennn lwwl f hn V4 *'JVW,V) UVVM VMV bleeding entirely stopped, notwithstanding the resistance of tlio woman, who iusistcd on tearing opcu the wound, to prevent which it became necessary to tie her hands behind her, and tho physicians now express the opinion that without further violence on her part sho will recover. The strangest part of this attempted suicide is yet to be told. It seeuis she is a resident of lloston. Mass., but her mother is living at Smithficld, Johnston county, in this State, and that sho had started on a visit there, being accompauicd by her daughter, a child about 14 years old. There is every reason to behove that her mind was affected ; doubtless impressed with the lies which are scattered wholcsalo throughout the North, of violeuco aud murder in tho South, and by the time she reached Goldsboro. fear had,completely banished reason, aud fearing that herself and child were to bo murdered separately, tried first to kill the girl with a broken lamp and then cut bcr throat with the pieces of sharp glass. No other explanation can be feu ad fur her attempt at sclf-dcstructiou. The injuries to Iter girl arc not serious. Marshall Avora, the brother-in-law of Maria, who is an industrious blacksmith at Smithfield, arrived hero Friday evening, and carried both the mother and girl to Smithfield Saturday morning. On his arrival here he found Maria exceedingly nervous, and laboring under considerable aberration of miud, but he finally succeeded in calming her nerves, and convincing her that sho aud the child were perfectly safe, and that no harm was meant them ; that the colored people aro as safe here, if not more so than they can possibly be in Massachusetts, and that nil she had heard and read about the ''burning, whipping and killing of negroes by the Southern whites," were lies manufactured to order for political pur poses. Maria, after regaining her self-possession sccuicu to rcmcuiDcr an mat nau occurred Slic Hays it appeared to Iter that the ku-klux had completely surrounded her and the girl and wcro trying to kill both ; that she first looked for her scissors, with which she in tended to sever tho jugular vein, but could not find theui, and that then she attempted to end her own existence by means of the broken glass. Maria is tho daughter n! Angelina Ennis, living at Smithficld, hut has spent most of her life in Boston.? Coldsboro (N. C.) Messenger, GIk. Tammany in South Carolina.?We had hoped that tho wrangling for ofiico and tho dissension in the Democracy of this Stato would bo confined to Charleston, where personal ambition, backed by partisanship, has hopelessly divided tho white Democrats, so that the city is sure to he remanded back to Radical rule, or, what is wsirfirt PAnnrFmln 1 )i?mnr?rnf u fiimnnrfjwl \w "" ?> p,-? ??--|'i the worst class of Radicals. If the people wcro wise they would support no man who pushed himself upon their suffrages ; and no pntriotio citizon will press his personal claims to office when ho sees in his action evil to the State. Now wo hear a voice from Abbeville, which, if copied from the manifesto of John Kclley, would not have sounded more like the rule and ruin policy of Tammany in New York. The Abbeville iVn (ir.rf Banner, generally conservative and sensible, as well as able, declares beforehand that the Abbovillo ]>cinocrncy will not support General Ilngood for Governor because of his action, as a member of the Equalization Board, in raising the assessment for tnzes in that county.?Marion Merchant and Fatnxcr. * A Fall Fallowino.?The old praotico of summer fallowing, or working tho soil ouo year without a crop, for tho purposo of gaiuing a double crop tho second season, is very properly obsoleto. While some may question the propriety of this opinion, there can bo no doubt us to the value of fall fallowing. Tho coustant turniug and workiug of tho ground during the fall months cost nothing but time and labor, at a season wkan tkaaa nan niit hrt Otherwise CmoloVAil 'and so, in reality, costs nothing, l>ut (tie benefits to tho soil aro very considerable. Especially is this tho ease with heavy clay soils, and less, in a descending ratio, through tho gradations from-heavy clay down to light loams?at least it is so considered by many; and it is reasonable to suppose that if tho atmospheric effects upou tho particles of a clay soil serve, to some extent, to dissolve tho mineral particles, they may easily do tho same servico for a sandy Boil aud holp to set loose some of tho potash contained iu tho granitic or feldspathic r ? ? * * * parucics oi sucn n sou. 1110 mecnauicai effects of tho full working arc ccrtaiuly more useful upon clay than a light loam ; but (here nro other purposes to servo than merely to disintegrate the soil, and mellow aud loosen it. There are weeds to destroy, and the forwarding of the spring work by tho preparation of the grouud for early sowing. These services aro as useful for a light soil as a heavy one, and as it is reasonable to look for some advantage from tho working in the way of gain in fertility ou light as well us heavy soils, it is advisablo that owners of either kiud should avail themselves of whatever benefits the practice affords. Fall fallowing consists iu plowing and working tho soil with the cultivator or the harrow. This may be done at such intervals as may bo convenient, or which will help to start some weeds into growth, when these may bo destroyed by the harrow or oultivntor. Heavy soils should be left iu rough ridges at tho last plowing, with os deep lurrows between them as possible, in order to expose the large: t surfaco to U10 effects of frost and thaw. Light soils may be left in a loss rough coudition, hut the last plowing should be so done as to throw the furrows ou edgo, and not flat, leaving tho field somewhat ridged. A very little work in the spring will put the ground into excellent order for tho early crops, and for spring wheat, especially, this better coudition of the soil will bo of the greatest benefit.? When thus treated in the fall, the soil is remarkably mellow, aud is dry enough to work much earlier thnu the compact stubble land which remains as it was left after the harvest. As to the time for doing this work, the sooner it is begun, and the often Ti * ur 11* 13 rujjumuu, inu uuiicr. 11 13 uuv iuu into to finish when the ground is frozen, or there is an incli of snow on the ground.? American Agriculturist, PnACTicAL SELP-ACTINO DOCI LAW.? "They having not the law, arc u law unto themselves."?ltomaus, ii chapter, 14th verse. Tho combined wisdom of the legislature having repealed tho "dog law," and not having given us a "better one," the above tQ?t is peculiarly applicable to the sheep raisers of Tennessee. The merits of the law recently repealed will not be discussed, but as the sheep owners havo to be a law unto themselves, the following is suggested, und if enforced will be found to work well and effectively. 13e it resolved by tho sheep-owners of Tennessee, that each and every one of them keep on hand a double-barrelled gun well charged with buck shot, which will be found a "very present help in trouble," lie it resolved, That each and every dog found upon tho lands of such persons, unaccompanied by its master, be treated to the contents of said gun. | lie it further resolved, That ia addition to said gun, said farmers keep also on hand ' a bottle of strychnine, to bo sprinkled on any sheep that may be killed on the place. To I provide for the weak and timid dojjs that may congregate, it is best to cut the carcass [ into pieces of suitable size, and having put in each piece souio of tho contents of tho bottle, scatter -them around eight or ten feet so that all that may come cau be occoui' uiodatcd. Let all adopt this law and practice it, and it will protect the sheep auu materially | lessen tho pets of tho legislature. To keep down disputes und fusses, never f ? 1L' nlmnt LillSiitr or Vinctrw# Lillorl | ' """b " '"b I and all will bo woll. It is not tho killing, ( but the talk that causes trouble. 4,J,et not P your right band know what your left doeth." ?Jlurul <S'uh. A Man Who Lost His Coupons.?A party in Illinois recently spplicd to the , Secretary of the Treasury for the reJompI tion of fivo coupons of United States bonds , representing several thousand dollars. The applicant alleged that for safe keeping ho hud placed the coupons in n tin box nnd . deposited them in n stove pipe, but subso, qucntly a fire was built in tho stove nnd , the coupons destroyed. The nshes, howover, wero retained in the box and were presented with the application for redemption. The matter was referred to First Comptroller Porter for his decision. A scientific examination satisfactorily proved that the contents of the box wero tho remains of coupons, as alleged. The decision in tho , case, which has just been given, is quitj important, froui the fact that it holds that the statuto authorizing tho redemption of called bonds, where clear and unequivocal evidence has boon furnished that they have been destroyed, does not apply to coupons, which at tl>3 time of the alleged destruction thereof have been detached from tho bonds. The coupous in question, having been detached from tho bonds, cannot thorcforo bo redeemed.? Wuthington Sjwn'al to Philadelphia Timet. w* r* ^r' m Tuk Value ob Muck.?i'or a soil deficient iu vegetable matter muck is vaiuablo, as it gives increased warmtn of soil and capacity to withstand drouth. Muck is of great ruluo iu compositing, as it doubles the manure Without much diminution of its value. Muck furnishes some nitrogen, a most valuable mauurinl agent. Muck is a valuable deodorizer and will o?g*iv56l/ll?cStniHfb,liiSr\H?.* Arlvqd.ftom ^ Muck is vaiuablo because erf Its pow*r to , ^ retain and absorb ammonia. Clay loulsnrcimprovod by doses of mack J Ml light lauds aro improved by muck, il ren ders clay lands friable and open : it im- % proves sandy suits by moistening thcpi and preventing excessive drying ol*l|M!Eoil. It absorbs and retains minurinl matter. The proper way to handle tnuck is "^to compost itj haul it into your barnyard and spread it on your fields with your ma~ uure. There aro "millions" in muck whon it is handled as au ubsorbnnt or a deodorizer, and as a compost. Muck is ripeucd by exposure to tlio air.?Ex . Gentry vs. Tramps.?A recent trip of tho steamer City of Chester, of the Inuinn line, from New York to Liverpool, was culivencj by the wit of a Washington girj who was the favorite passenger. In the . same stcjfcujcv was a young English snob, who wore a' suit of clothes of vity large plaid, with a fatigue cap to match, a siuglo eyeglass, thick-soled boots, spotted shirts and . loud ucck-tic. lie had that exasperating: drawl peculiar to English snobs. "Awj jaas," said lie, in conversation with tho ^ Washington girl, "I have seen considowabro * of your country. I have been to Nej^^ Yawk, Chicago, Oiuahaw anil other place^^p and it is n gwatc country, but you don't seem to have any gentwy in Amcwica." "What do you call gentry?" asked tho lady. "Aw, why people, you kuow, who don't have to do anything, you know ; people who live without work." "O, yes, wo have such people," nnsworod the lady, "but wo don't call them gentry." "Aw, theu, what do you call thorn, pway ?" "We call them tramps." "Aw I"? Wathinyton Re? public. Neatness in Women.?A woman may be huudsomc or remarkably attractive in various ways; but if sho is not personally neat she cannot hope to win Admiration.? Fine clothes will not conceal the slattern. A young woman with her hair always in disorder and her clothes hunging about her as if suspended from a prop, is always repulsive. Slattern is written ou her person from tho crown of her head to the soles of her feet, and if she wins a husband ho will turn out, in all probability, either an idle fool or a drunken ruffian. The bringing up of daughters to be uble to work, talk aud act like honest, sensiblo youDg women, is the special task of all mothers, and in tho industrial ranks thrcre is imposed alscf the prime obligation of learning to respect household work for its own sake, and tho comfort and happiness it will bring in tho future. Housework is drudgery; but it must be done by somebody, and had^bcttcr be well than ill done.?Exchange. * .? A Roy Calgiit in a Man-Trap.? Philadelphia, October G.?An explosion today in the law offico of llobcrt lSirish, by which a lad named Wui. McDowell was severely injured, proves to be tho work of a trap contrived iu Parish's desk with parlor matches, san .l paper and two horse piftols. The boyt had several of his fingers torn off, and it* was found necessary to amputate his hand, causing a shock to his nervous &3'stcui from which ho will probably die. It is presumed that McDowell climbed on the desk to opon the window shutters nod tho pressure caused the explosion,. The powder and matches wore so arranged in the drawor that any jolting of the desk would cause an explosion, and it is supposed that Purish hnd taken this plan of protection against robbery. A iwurraut, has bcon issued for his arrest, Roys Foolino witii the Sea Serpent.. ?Tho news comes from Newport that a few days siuco a couplo of boys attached an old tin kettle to what they supposed to- bo a. piece of rope lying 011 the beach. Immediately that picco of damaged tinware slid out to sea and began to lash the waves at a furious rate, scooping up water no v and then and throwing it high into tho air, like a miniature waterspout. About half a mila-s*ahead of the kettle was a dark objcot thosize of a hogshead. Tho boys had. affixed tho abandoned culinary utensil to tho tail of tho sea serpent. That was all.?Boston An honest, loyal, shrewed and witty but slightly profano old Democrat, in a town, not twenty wiles away, recently put to & friend the following startling but expressive conundrum and comment: "Will you tell we what in a Butler Democrat is ? I should as soon think of speaking of ns he tom-cat."?Boston J'ost. Alide sends us a poem, "Why Art Thoo Sod ?" Now, Alide, wo will be honest with you. Tho reason wo are sad is because our back suspenders button has busted, ami we're afraid the other ono won't hold till we get home.?Marathon Independent. "TllCV nr.! trvin<? * Int nf'Plnnfnr#' ttinrr ? -j " v r ? - - o crs in there,'* said Smith to Jones, as thoy M passed a building whence floated strains of ^ "A Maiden Fair to Soo," etc. "Glad of it," rcturnod the misanthropical Jones ; "hope they'll give 'om sixty days and costs." - - ?? "IIow many deaths last night ?" inquired a hospital physician of a nurse. "Nino," v/ns the answer. "Why, I ordered modi' cine for ten." "Yes, but ooc wouldn't take it." J i