Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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PP^? IIM wwttn ^*t MffrTHFlr ''W^Pj-lff'IV^ilHBB^BIWHiWHK^BMMHM teaMEs .?,?\ I\ *STj! > Iff Hi jffar?Hilr*wBfcK./5H-.J? Bla^^WilaHlll^?roKM - ff ff wMjiw w n'wrT flrr 1 1 if 1 ' ' ",,v "* ' ti ' - in^ -^rftiif^ ' ill?im11#i^i5iWK#MMmw<wi^ T^njyTfr<jBpgtt^igrfra ivk^iiifcv'SB I _ 'lli^k iT*?hf ,kllfll? i VTlMBK^fl A Showing the Uses of the Modern Statesman? fly 2?ueft ^Sees Ui? Viw Clear it t> Choice Between Two Frauds. --*> < Washington, D. C., Mar. 8. 1 hare seen a groat light, as they say at Methodist cainp-mecttags. As Grant wrote to "^ewcornb, Eastou and Smith," ofSt. Loais, during tho Gratz Brown campaign ta 1870, 1 have been "enabled to see my way dear." I shall support the administration of the fraudulent President. I shall acquiesce in tho verdict of Bradley. I ahull hail J. Madison Wells aud EJlixa Piokaton as martyrs and canonize them oseaiata. For mine eyes have sien and mine ears have Sieard the glory of tho opposition of Bhune. *Up to yesterday aud to-day 1 had been full of the gall of bitterness toward the mea who had stolen our Presidency ; full of the fierceness of reiMnttnnnL nirnin9t the man who had accepted the stolen property at their hands; and full of the aqua forth of contempt for the pusillanimity of those rightful owners, Jthe democrats, who had stood quietly and <allawod their pockets to be rifled without "even mo much as an able bodied rernonAtranoe. Hut now T am at rest. Having Heavnod (that Blaine was really, actually and in fact at war with Mr. Hayes, I hasten to .assure >tke Utter of my distinguished consideration, and to congratulate him upon <his great luek. No other possible conjuncture could, have made his tenure of the Presidency eve? tolerable in the eyes of respcotable people. I have heretofore remarked that Hayes was a lucky dog. That ho accrued in truth? "A faverit of Fate, in Fortune's lap caressed." That honors and emoluments have fallen upon him like ripe apples irom the tree.? That he seemed to have been singled out by God AJaiighty as a living testimony unto all men of the omnipotence of Good Luck! And all that sort of thing. But no stroke of luok that ever descended upon his head bears any comparison?not even the remotest or the far-fotchcdest?to that stroke which fell in the Scnato yesterday when i Blaine declared war on the new Southern policy of Ilayes. All the other pieces of 1 good luck which have befallen Hayes bear . the same rotation to this one that the sputter of a tallow candlo bears to a bolt of chain lightning. Blaine bos his uses. The State i of Maine has i.ts uses also. Th* State of Maine exists on the njap in order that Blaine may sit in Congress. An4 Blaine sits in 1 pAitivwAflo in ah/Liu thai ilananl man mnir Irnnw I WU^IVOO A U Vt VT't HUM! UUVVUVUIUU UAHJ *uv n Tft-H^at course to take ou occasions of dilern-. i > -ma*, 3&fa?M wane times hesitates about tak-"r'uaemorauda and the like?but ho does sometimes hesitate about takiug a position ; and on these occasions all men who have at 1 heart the interests of tho country and who want to bo right hesitate also; the suspence is painful. Hut no sooner does Blaine rear up on his hind legs and begin to paw the air with his forepaws, bcllowiug the while like a four-year old bull with a stone wall between himself and the object of his desires, than all good men complacently betake themselves to the other side and put their trust in God. Blaine is not like Daniel Webster. Blaine would rather be wrong than be President; i but he would like to be both. When our 1 Proctor Knott remarked that Blaine was J "the d?dest scouudrcl on tho American continent," he did very wrong. Knott | should havo said, "Bluinc is the most useful uiau on tho American or any other continent.' Blaine is to politics what the light-house ^fs" to navigation ; his light shows where those places aro which must be kept away from, lie is the red flag of politics, for, whenever you sec him you know there is suiall-poz i in the neighborhood. lie reminds uic of < the fellow who used to go about the country as an advapce agebt of a noted temperance 1 lecturer. He always traveled forty-eight 1 hours ahead of tho lecturer, giving a fearful 1 / Tiiinnln nP t.lm #?fT* nP itifAinnprinnA ' ? r -- - ??*t' ? But oqg earthly consideration could havo 1 induced patriotic people?pcoplo who value manhood, honesty, honor, law, peace charity and other beuisons, benefices and amenities of life?to tolerate a President not elected 1 by the people, but couutcd iu by Bradley, ' Stroug, Miller, Garfield, Iloar, Edmunds ct al That one thing was that Blaine should oppose his administration. That left the situation in the nature of a choice between two frauds; und, as friend McCul- , lagh once said of Bill Grosvenor?who, by the way, is the Jidus Achates of Carl Schurz ?"Ilell could not produconor Omnipotence duplicate" a fraud which would not instantly be chosen as the lesser of tho two if the other hapehued to be Blaine, 1 am told that Blaine opposes Hayes hecause Hayes refused to give him the patrouage he demanded. That Bluiue went up to . the White House and commanded Hayes to stand aud deliver two or three Cabinet places and no cud of other valuables, and that lfaycs iu response kicked Blaiue down the front steps, whereby a soreness was produced in the seat of Blaine's intellect.? But Blaine is taking the wrong way to get even. It is just "ike him. lie never docs tho right thing. He is so smart Blaine . i. \ .a n r ? ?i % is?so uauineu smart, u i uiay do auowea the term?that he can't get out of his own way ; therefore most of tiic blows which ho designs for others hit himself. Now, when he eamo away from the White House the other day, rubbing the inflamed seat of his intellect, and vowing vcngonco, if he hnd any sense it would at once have occurred to him that the only way he could injure Hayes was by supporting his administration. And by the tiuio lie had supported Hayes six weeks the latter would have been glad to give him all seven of the Cabinet places in cousideratiou of his distinguished and invaluable enmity for the balance of his term. Hut no; Blaine lacked sense, and consequently he did not perceive tho fine point of strategy that lay within his j * ' to C#lt ^riu^o^SjIl Now, Kellogg is a oar pet-bagger, and the carpet-bagger hating become, as honest old Tom Robertson says, "hated at the North, execrated at the86uth and dospised by the nigger," Bfaihe finds congenial fellowship wXplIogg. Therefore Bloino seises toe coat-tails of .Kellogg and~expects Kellogg 'to pull bin into the Presideney'ftar yetnr from flow. I once knew a fellow whose; ideas ' of locomotion were similar to' Blaine's theory of political {>rugroM. jlnis louuw, Having partaken argely of the peculiar constitutional lav of a late administration, walked solemnly into a water closet at one end of a railway station platform, took a seat and inquired, "Why in h-~l don't this train start i1." ,It is fortdriate'for Kellogg tTiat his reputation is as bad as a reputation ean be; otherwise Blaine's advocacy of him might be injurious. And yet Blaine represents his constitu- i eucy with fidelity. Perhaps you are not ac- 1 quuinted with the constituency of Blaine.? Blaine's constituent* are these natives of Maine who ucglect to emigrate precipitately as soou as they are old enough to realize what kiud of a State they have been born in. Providenoe keeps a few people in Maine, who are oarefully selected with a view to influencing all respectable folks to emigrate at once. Well, these are Blaine's constituents?the few persons retained as moral scarecrows by Divine Providence.? After this explanation you will understand the secret'of Blaine's wonderful hold upon the peoplo of Maino. No hold has ever been seen dike 4*, -uuinas ?i si oopt that hold which Blaine got on the Mulligan letters. And no hold like it will ever be seen until the devil gets Blaine, oonstituonts, Mulligan letters and all. But, to bo serious, Blaine is becoming the most colossal uuisance of the century. He is not only deluging the namo of the American people-with disrepute, but he is becoming a disturber of Mia I \ A Wit S?A nnd am intiAtAvnf a .11 vtav wvuv/V, UUU UU lUTCltlUW ^UUUiUl VI J ooxious notions which arc designed to bn- ] devil the feeble minded. Never accomplishing anything and proposing nothing, lie 1 hangs on.thc verge of politics like a JJpdouin i uppu the flanks of a caravan, watching for j some pilgrim with a sick camel to drop out i of the procession. I If the fools were all dead, Blaine < could do no harui. But some of them I still liye^.aod, as a consequence, Blaine i ulwaya^vkjnst. enough of following to j keep his owh' n*.to the iutoler- ] able poinUandioinfeet"((K?,poH||hal atuos- 1 rhnri i|hiwnwlivV>frtvf no success in him; but lie always comes i near euough to success to nerve his misguid- I od' followers for auother effort in his behalf. His followers are of two classes: First, play- i cd-out aud used-up old hacks and frauds, < who have been kicked out of all other fel- t lewship, aud, secoud, credulous and cuthu- < sinstic boys, who are led to believe that i iron check aud leather luugs constitute the : true statesman,'and that Blaine's system of i ten-cent thimble-riggery is iho true game of 1 politics. ~ i As a Keuncbcc town councilman, Blaino 1 would have been a success. But iu the < arena of national politics he figures as ridi- i culously as a cockroach turned out to pas- ( turc in a ten-acre lot. It is only when he I becomes the boss cockroach of a horde oi grasshoppers that he ceases to b? ridiculous, and he only ceases to be ridiculous when he becomes pestiferous. Ho may not be able to accomplish anything of great detriment, but he sometimes has power to delay the accomplishment of that which is beneficial?as iu the present instance he obstructs the pacification of Louisiana and South Carolina. * *When Stanley Matthews and Mr. Evarts, on behalf of Hayes. advised that poor shivering upstart, Chamberlain, that the good of the country required his withdrawal from the position to which he prcteuds, Matthews aud Evarts simply tried to do by mild persuasion, out of pity, what simple justice would have dictated should be done by the hair of his head?and what will be done by tho hair of his head, too, if, at Blaine's instigation, he should stick there thirty days longer. But Blaino thinks he sees an opportunity, and grasps it. i Now, if a little nigger should sec a mule's 1 tail, and, imagining that it afforded him a 1 good opportunity to stoul a ride, should ! grasp the tail, with the consequence traditional in such cases, everybody would laugh and express wondernicut that, after two ( centuries of uniformly disastrous experimcut, the Ethiopian should still be so infatuated as to grasp a mule by the tail. But the nigger in this ease would not be one , whit more absurd than Blaino is when he embraces tho carpet-bagger and tries to make political capital out of him. lie might as well go out into the fields and bestride the decomposing carcass of a dead horse with the design of taking a ride !? Poor Blaine! Wlieu that great big Presidential maggot gets into a small head it produces rickets. Blaine "hoped his tongue would cleave to the ruool of his mouth."? That was the most discreet wish I ever know him to avow. If it only would, he might possibly obtain a reputation for good sense in the course of time?unless he should learn the deaf and dumb art of talking with bis fingers; and even if he did that it might serve to keep bis fingers busy in conversation and thus improve his reputation as a respecter of the laws of meiim and luum. Meanwhile I liavc my little laugh on the boys who, ten days ago, were supplying lung power to produoo the Blaine yell and ?why, three Cabinet places were the merest bagatelle, you know ! Blaine was going to bo President in fact ! But he would allow Mr. and Mrs. Ilaycs to occupy the White House, you know, just to humor the childrcu and keep peace in tho family!? It ia f ? it .1 . And now MortomSwqajrCaiDeroD and those othet sly oldfeflowanate quietly gone and made their peace wittf ffaydi, rearing Blair*, tril unoonscious, Vweiag away with his groat spaoeh at the emptjr air.. Aa I said before, Blaine is rery amort. Nope of those sly old fellow*.ere po smart as Blaine. He is no? 9?dj ao smartthat be oan't keep out of hja qwb *ey, but lie runsyo fe?t that he s^bs his toe ogaiost hw^scH'apd tumbles down. He opcus nii'moutb nod pats his foot in it. lie raises his hand' to strike ....i*..- u:_ ?v, i, _L:.U I_ *.xmj oo auu ruiiwwo iiif vwu nuiuu in protuberant. It was funny to ae# Blaioo prancing up and down (b?v Fqg-bank, end uobody paying any attention to him ^xoept JuluLl'ntteifww auduSjMMwMWh?w*iA . a Tew niggers and some taunted, female* iu the gallery. How ho brandished that telegram ! Blaine knows bow to brandish private papers. He knows how to get them, itlso. "Howly Chroiat," said Mulligan, "he's got uie uiimoraudy, too !" .With what Sue frenr.y he waltzed a found there in a small open space, with John Patterson on one sido and old Hamlin on the other, and threw down the gage of battle. Would any solemn old Senatorial pump staud sponsor for Stauley Matthews' dispatch ? Show him the sou of u gun ! But one of the old pumps rospcudcd. They t were past tho tiiuo of life when it is contidcred necessary to knock chips off the shoulders of small bpys. Poor Blaine !? He^couldn't even fiud a windmill to tilt igaiusi; for ho was the only one in the Senate, and it is written that no windmill can 1 tilt against itsolf, Suppose some Tipperary 1 Irishman should waltz into the vaticau some ?f i,;n ??. 11 iUUIUIIi^ Tl 11 II Ufc/V/UU DIA lUUUUO Ul U1D WilV ^ iails dragging on tho floor, and invito auy t spalpeen in tho august college of cardinals ? tread on theui?ujist trid on thj tip ind 1 iv wan av thim!" Or imagine a robust Wdi. goat trying to provoke a hilchiug-post -o mortal couibat. It is a long tiuio since inything has been seen so utterly absurd as Maine's effort to make a Donnybrook of the Fog-bank. y I am sorry for Jim. He is out of his ino of business. lie should immediately rcligu from the Seuato and get back to the House, where the boys*will always be found ready to whoop it up for him. They never have auy rows in tho Senate?except in exjcutivc sossiou ; and what would Blaine give for a row when there are no boys or uiggers ,n the gallery and where no report of his ^reat snoech could be printed in the newspapers? , A row of that kind is of no more ludicncc of'smair boys fa^ossnin^Jcnnica ? for his antics. The only affecting part of the transaction is the cool desertion of Blaine by Simon [Jamcron, Morton, Sargent and the othor sly fellows, leaving him to the teudcr nier3ics of Stanley Matthews, who, as Blaine will presently find out, knows no such thing is mercy for him. The situation recalls uu incident of boyhood : A neighbor of our's had a flue plum orchard, which was surrounded by a high board fcucc, and in which by way of additional security against tho iepredations of small boys, the owner was wont to pasturo au old Meriuo raui with enormous horns and a disposition similar to Lhat of llolinan. One dav half a dozen of us small boys held a consultation about thoge plums. We agreed to capture tlicui. Wc ill climbed the fcuce. I was detailed to look after the Merino ram, and, in discharge jf this delicate responsibility, was soon involved in what a Soutboru gentleman would sail "a difficulty." I got a good hold on the old fellow?by the horns?and immediately my philosophical mind was beset by the perplexing question as to whether I had the ram or the ram had me. But no soouer was the dead-lock pei feet than all the other small boys ran away to the owner of the orchard and told him there was a wicked urjhin out there trying to steal his plums.? ? rhen the owner came out and lifted me over that high board fence, prrtly by the tip of my east ear and partly upon the tip jf his boot. What hurt my feelings the worst was that, after huving dismissed mc iu this feeling maimer, he praised the other 3mall boys for their honesty, and gave them nil the plums they could stuff" into their pockets ! That episode destroyed my faith in human uaturc. Blaine will soon be a skeptic also. A. C. B. "Fuaud-Only Fraud."?Senator Norwood, whose term of service has just expired, has been in the city during the past three or four days, a visitor. "Well, Senator," said the reporter, after the usual preliminaries had been exhausted, "what do you think about the result of the Presidential electiou ?" "You mean, what do 1 think about tho result of the Eleetoral Commission. Well, it was a fraud !" "Oh, of course. What do you think will bo the end of this Hayes business?" "Fraud?only fraud." Mr. Ilnycs is a' very pious patriot. Ho | asked some of the churches to pray for his j Administration, and then invited II b In- j gcrsoll, the boasting infidel, to dine with him < on Sunday, that they might make merry , over the credulity of the poor brcthern who , had wasted their benedictions upon his ' Southern policy" of deception and imposture. r*-?- L : The standard of drunkenness varies between London and Edinburgh. A witness in a London court recently testified that "a man is properly drunk when he cannot walk in Edinburgh, at about the same time, a witness gave it as his opinion that "a man hasua' enough till he canua' speak." "Can animals communicate ideas 1" asks an exchange. If they cannot there is a vast amount of wasted conversation o' moonlight nights around fences aud back sheds. TW WW W y . C ' Iftf Sss^lft^ ? Which 1 with plundst wOlt hsto AUod Sheee tiit "Sunny 8eeW 1-tHed. 'j rv>? t>~ k ! "mstgntfsst-tm I And I 8t(Jrk??p liil'tfng fbr^lit shout Of riwe#Oef*e, ? Most c*v&li?rTjr did yo'uct " '4 ? " Whit I w*nt.? *" ? Z}VV . .I.! 0 I played "rejsma" to win your vote* j.. ? My r'T-iiur'' unmasked : ? M Wjtot jBhiii ?>??? tlftfit ^ *' la the Nivonge I've K The sentry walks his daily round t ? Within your State House walla; *r ? Where civil rule onoe sat enthroned - j The drummer beats hie eflDe. I t 1 Who steals my good name steels but trash; a My wealth is in this hag; Where blue PenObecot's waters dash 1 I go to save my "swag." tl Shoemaker firstf and Governor latt ; ^ My pride haa had a fall; c, In politics I have ptggtd out, And I may lose my aiipft. . n 1 - - . ' _ j H The State I rulod is now redoemed, in The people at me scoff, And, having taken all things else, " Myself I'll new take off. h *Gov. C. frequently flattered the South Caro- V inians by referring in hie letters and speeches o their "cavalier stock*" f Chamberlain served ^Apprenticeship at the ? hoemakers' trade, but his recent conduct has ? >reught gjpat discredit on the order of St. Oris in. *J ' " r ? J LNSWEg OF THE PEOPLE OF BOOTH CA&O. 7 LIHA. b : ?to? 1 1 DANIEL II. CnAMDKBLAIX. * J Go, traitor I Go! Tby broken trust it Is monumental crime ; ^ Wo^parc thy life, for God is just, And we wiH bide His time. * (, M.!i let The rifles iji yoti grauito. pile / _ But symbol tbj. career? V Through all the years thy partyAiled li The State was rifled tlicre. W ? ! -<sa ? -.v m .) ? The jarring drum-beat's signal/note, h That drowns our church-bHU' chimes, Shall be forgot; but history ,veeps Tho record of thy eritney oi / fl Thy legislative bayonets gleam Above our broken laws; b Though we have quafled the bitter cup Illcld by thy staugcr hand, . The law inviolate we-keep, " And spurn thee from the land. d We stand beneath the Union flag, 11 Still trusting in our right; tl But press us not; a people wronged . May show a people's might. d No ''Sluto rights heresy" now clouds The justice of our cause; No shade |f slavery now dims The lustre of our laws. * ? v Go back to thy far Northern home, # Thou thhiy that freemen hate! u Go live, the scorn of honest men, Debauchcr of the State 1 The clouds that on our hopes you cast 3 Time soon shall drift away ; b The niornfhg light is breaking fast v On a new and brighter day. c q Here where you sowed the seeds of strife lTwo moos blessed shall stand ; n Their vights inviolate maintained) i; While justice rules the land. The law supreme in peace shall sway ^ The soldier and his sword ; And all shall bless the happy day They trusted Hampton's word. ? . a A few weeks ago the children attendiug li * school kept bj a priest at Capua, Italy, li ivcrc left,to themselves a fetor minute#, and v >uc of therm allowed a favorite canary of the a nastir's to escape from its cage. When the t attcr returned he demanded the nauie of t .he culprit, and, on dismissing tho other \ diildrcn to their dinner, desired hiui to stay I behind, and go down on his knees as a fur- r her puuitthment. The other children, as L ,hey passed the butcher's shop of their c schoolfellow's father, cxplaiucd why he ^ ivouldn't be homo to diuuer, and presently t lis mother went to intercede for him.? \ When shutnade her way into the room she t found the poor little follow lying dead, cru- < tsified on a table, his feci being cut off bemuse the table was not long .enough.? When her husband came, ho discovered tho f priest in an adjoining room, and plunged i poignard into his heart, killing him at 1 jnce. To Dkstuoy Stumps.?We find in an j jx-changc the following directions for cflfec- i tually destroying stumps, which is worthy ? ->f trial: I ' In autumn to bore a hole one or two in- ' shes in diameter, according to tho girth of i the stump, vertically in the ccutrc of the I latter, about eight inches deep. Put into I it one or two ounces of saltpetre, fill tho hole m 1*1. 1 -1 li t it - mi.li mui:i imu |>iug up ugut. id me criming spring take out the plug, pour in about cue-half gill of kerosene and thcu ig- 1 cite it The stump will smoulder away ! without [dazing, the very extremity of the ' roots, leading nothing but ashes." A Long Island Judge thus settles the ( question of scholastic corporeal discipline, , uot forgetting that he was once a boy :? "No hard instrument, such as a ruler or ferrule, should ever bo used in punishing a pupil. A tough whip should be used, but not on tho bands, nor feet, nor head, nod if common sense, natural instinct, or some dim recollection of tho past does not call to uiind the suitable place of application the teacher should stud; anatomy nud fiud out." mjuHtmnprari Lne hrnnbcr of parties who can rightfully ilaim to hare uiado Hayos President, is [uito as great as the number ef thoeo who :illed cock robin. ? Here, for instance, is Mr. Chandler, of dichigan, to whose high character and redark able capacity- as Secretary of the Inerior Carl Schurs the other day gave such tuphatio testimony. Zoch says that he uade Hayes President: or, to put it io his wn classical language, The d??d fool rould not have been President At all but for ae: it was I that care him the rotes of iouth Carolina, Florida, and Louisiana." Jo donbfr-thia i* aot aad^the rhich oan be doubted in Chandler's statelent is his description of Mr. Hayes as a -d fool. That question is still undecicd. n .? - n Next comes the celebrated Mr. Jay Gonld, rho put up money for the campaign, and ftcr the election, when all was lost, started be scheme of counting in tho Hayes elcc>rs by the combiued use of troops and of ash in Florida. He made Hayoa i'resideut. Tho lleturning Board of Florida can put i au equal claim with equal justice. Hayes i their creature also, and if, for want of tould's inspiration or tor other cause, they nd failed him, he would not now be in the Vhite House. Then there is Madison Wells and tho ther gentlemen of tho Louisiana Returning tosrd. They bava the best right iu the orld to say that they made Hayes I'rcsieat, aud that without them he would still e (Joeefuor of Ohio. t?i> iuj^ui iiiai cuntti un ; liiu juuiii iuuk he hint and rcuiovfcd thedinen.? Charlotte Observer. ti? <#i A number of years ago attention was at.raeted to a theory which insisted that the ast effort of vision materialized itself and -cmaind as au object imprinted on the rc,ina of the eye after death. This has been proved a fact by an experiment tried in the orescnce of Dr. Gamgee, F- R. S., of Birningham, England, and Prof. Bunsen, the subject being a living rabbit. The meaus taken to prove the merits of the question were most simple, the eyes being placed near an opening in a shutter, and retaining die shape of tho same after the uniuial had been deprived of life. A want long felt," says the San Francisco Chronicle, "has at length been filled by the opening of a uew drinking Raloon on Montgomery avenue, at a point whero fivo doors intervened without such an indisponsablo convenience." .*?? "What would vou do if mamma should die T" she pathetically asked of her little throe-year old daughter. "I don't know," remarked tho infant with downcast eves and melancholy face, "thsposo I should have to thpauk uiythelf." An honest blacksmith, when urged to start a libel suit, answered : "I can hammer out a better reputation on my anvil than all the lawyers in Christendom can give we" Judge Joe liradloy in another maker of In^es. Without his steady perserrerance 1 voting in the Electoral Commission every irne in fuvor ol fraud, the conspirancy nevr could have been carried through. Johu Sherman, Stanley Matthews, Iharlca Foster, aud William M. Evarts kewisc made Ilayes. Hut for the strcuuus promise* and uasuraooee they gave in is behalf to the Southern Democrats iu the louse of llepreaoatatirea, the eleotetal ount would not hare been eompletod, and ho President of tho Senate would now be taring sway as the provisional President f the Uuited States. ^Mipiaau rtives, who, getting frightened ulmosl to oath, threw awny their authority and their uty, aud voted for the unconstitutional ribunal, also Jiave a right to be classed in ho array of those who were indispensable a the creation of the Fraudulent Prcaiont. These arc, all of them, nuthors and creajrs of the present Administration. If ither one of these variod elements had been i! \f- II ...... IJ 1_ ruutiu^, i'ir. iiujfta wuuiu uoi uuflr ue coilidering how he can evade the promises and ilcdgcs given for him to the Southerners by Averts, Matthews, Foster, and Sherman. But among those who are responsible for dr. llayes, the American people are not to ie couutcd. By a majorty of one million rhite men, and a majority of 250,000 of all olors. thoy voted that they would have Samuel J. Tilden for President. They had lothing to do with putting Hayes where he a.?Ar. Y. Sun. "The IIigii Collaikk "?It is a well nown fact that the present style of meu's ollars arc high?very high?behind, which ;ivcs chem the appearance of possessing an mbitious desire to crawl ovor on a man's lead and convert themselves into a sort of mod or bonnet. Well, a young man who ras guilty of wearing one of these ambitious nd restless looking articles, went into a barter shop to have his hair trimmed. The tarber seated him, and stepped buck for a 'icw of his subject. Unfortunately the lead had almost completely disappeared beicath the barricade of white liuen. The might of the shears put him in a half a lozen positions, but to no purposo. A last, yith a sigh, and in the most beseeching uanuer, ho said, "Mister ain't thcro some II.._ ?<r 9" rni. u . i. i 1 1 the Detroit Free J\eu says: A boy, aged twelve, whose uucle is a member of the Legislature, was permitted to make trip to Lansing a few days ago in order to visit tho Stato " House. He came borne ebaok full of impertsnco, and when his littlo brother ran to meot him at the gate William ootdly waved him back sad said : "I refer job t</th? committee ou'daheriei, bnb, and how's W?y dog T' His mothef was glad to see him, and when ahe uaked Uim?if had enjayed himself, he replied; z. "Oh, I suppose so, though I now move to striko out all after the enacting clause." "What sort of talk is that, Willie, dear V* she asked in great surprise. ? "Never niiud she talk, mother.-bat move ihypr^luus ijtnwtluii ?qfl mug on tfci? mru- cakes." Tho hired girl came in with the dinner ana wanted to know nqy: JuMikod Amusing. Ho looked at her with groat dignity tad replied : I now inoT^>t6 lay your 'j^jitfob on the table, Ilauuah, for future consideration-.' Sbo got mad about it, and William slyly informed hia mother that it was his Opinion that Hannah's title should bo made to oouform to tho body of tho bill. He went out'to see tlie boys afler dinner, and a house painter asked hitn where No. 667 waa. . "We'H have a call of the House and tee," replied the boy, as he lookod around. i(i" Whose house ?" asked tho painter. "Or you can rise to a question of privilege," continued the lad. "I dou't wuut no snss," said the painter, who thought the boy was making fun of his rod nnu "Of course uot. Let's pass the bill to a 'bird reading, or also go into committee of tho whole and debate it." "I think you need dressing down!" growled the painter and he banged William into a snow ball and pushed a heap of snow down behind his collar. "Have the uiineritv no rights?" yelled the boy, as he kicked the painter on the shin. He would have beeo welloped had not hia mother appeared. .. The paiuter moved AW>tf of fitevKf nf bar Kaftf ualLrl "I'll we jou again, bay." "I refer the whole subject to fatthar with instruqtjAS to report a bill to walk you iuto a police court," replied the repreaentative, and he went in to Ull.hia mother the difference between suspending therulciand rushing a bill, or referring it to the committee on cornfields until aouto one came around with the oigare. . Dr.. Maiiy Walkkk bounoift.? ? ashingtou, March 22.?The Trcpsury Department has another sensation. Dr. #^ary Walker isstaudiug office seeker. For years her bloomers have hovered about nutc-rooms of differont Secretaries, until aho has become such a bother that Secretary Sherman made an order to the doorkecpetr that she be no longer admitcd to auy part of tlio departmet. To-day she alippod by, and had reached tlio ante-ohtmbor of the Secretary. Word was at once passed to the venerable gray-bearded man who guards the main door in Fifteenth street. 11c walked up to the scoond floor, and at ouce told Dr. Mary eho must go away. "You go to hell," answered Dra Mary, vigorously ; "I shall do nothing of the scrt." At this the doorkeeper made irliwblo pass at her, as he said, "Gome now, you oomo out of that." At this suggestion of violence Dr. Mary jumped and clacked her heels together twice as she dronned her *j # - ri hand upon a hip pocket, saying uYou lay a hand on me and 1 will shoot you." The doorkeeper saw a chance for a flank more* mcnt He seized Dr. Mary's right wrist and then passed his venerable artn about her waist, lie thcu began to propel her toward the btrcot. Dr. Mary kicked his shins all the way and yelled uiurdcr, greatly to the amusement of persons in tho hallways.?> After he had piloted her to th 3 street he apologized for his forced rough treatment, and said that her importunity had brought it about, lie nsipd her to pardon him, but Dr. Mary refused, bitterly saying that the couutry should yet ring with this outrage committed upon a free-born American citizen. A witty writer has observed, with much " truth, that every man is, in a scuso, three diffcrcut men. In the first place, he is tho man ho thinks himself to be j in the second place ho is the man other persons think him to bo; and, finally, he is the man that ho really is.? .... .? A remarkable fondness for cauned oystors having bceu noticed among tlio inmates of the Albany jail, one of the keepers made an examination and found that tho cans supposed to contain oysters contained whiskey. Bice, McLure & Co. 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