Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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_AflTii i4RE DOING. ~ 'I oVwhat motbert are doing to-night, vgadh lover the and ren in spotless white, r" Run4 many i happy tireside stand. 1BWturda ltl. ht,alnd, ros7 and sweet, 2'?ohfroiits tb like a oworlromn rain, Sttering about with ittle bare feet, And trailing night-dresses free from stain. I know what mothers are doing to-night, Puttingawaya toy or a 4l. ' Sari ng some dear ittle schoar raeite esson or text for her Sabbath-school. Laying out ready ,ree :ackets and caps, Seeing that shoes and stockings are right, Gloves, and collars, and cozy wraps, That's what mothers are doing to-ntght. Patiently mending some little torn dress, 8h end to think no better is there, Pung down needle and thread to caress Little ones bending besldo her in prayer. Praying herself, as she busily sews, Now a button, and now a tear: It's on Saturday night a mother knows The sweetest side of a mother s care. On Saturday night, when tho ohildron sloop, .And father st by the fire at rest, Tho angels givo her a thought to keep, And sho feels that a mother's love i blost. She tenderly talks of their futuro days, Telling of all they have saiti and done, Till the father glows to her pleasant praiso And blesses his children one by one. And the years will pass, and the childron grow Men and womon, and wander away; But deep in their hearts they will keep, l know, A love for their childhood's holiday That day when they wandor'd far and wide That eve, whon they said, in the waning light, Their Bunday-sehool tasks at their mother's side; Ohl her kiss was swoot, and their hearts woro light, When they went to b'd on a Saturday night. -Lilie E. ilarr. in N. Y. Ledper. McWILLIAMS' BURGLAR ALARM. The conversation drifted smoothly and pleasantly along from weather to srops, from crop to 'litorature, from lit erature to scandal, from scandal to re ligion, then took a random jump, and landed on the subject of burglar alarms. And now for the first time Mr. McWill iams showed feeling. Whenever I perceive this sign on this man's dial I comprollend it, and lapse into silence, and give him opportunity to unload his heart. Said he, with but ill-controlled emotion: " I do not go one single cent on burg lar alarms, Mr. Twaig-not a singIc cent-and . will tell you why. Whor we were finishing our house we found we had a little cash loft over, on ac count of the plumber not knowing it. I was for enlightening the heathen with it, for I was always unaccountably down on the heathen somehow; but Mrs. McWilliams said no, let's have a burglar alarm. I agreed to this con promise. I will explain that whenever I want a thing, and Mrs. McWilliams wants another thing, and we decide upon tho thing that Mrs. McWilliams wants-as we aways do -she calls that a compromise. ery weli; Lhi man came up from Now York and put it, the alarm, andc charged :325 for it, and said we could sleep without uneasiness now. So we did for a while-say a month. Then one night we smelled smoke, and I was advised to get up and see what the matter was. I lit a candle and started toward the stairs, and me1 a burglar coming out of a room with a basket of tin-ware, which he had mis taken for solid silver in the dark. Ho was smoking a pipo, I said: " My friend,-we do not allow smoking in this room." H1e said ho was astranrer, and could not be expected to know ttie rules of the house; said lie had been ir mnany houses just as good as this one, and it had never beel obiected to be fore. H1e added that as far as his expe rience went, such rules had nver beer considered to app)ly to burglars any. way. "I saidI: 'Smoke along, then, if it it the custom, though I thinmk that the eon. eeding of a p)rivilege to at burglar- whiei is dienied to a Bishop is a conspicuout sign of the looseness of the times. But waiving all that, wvhat business havc you to be entering this house in thmis furtiv'o nnd clandestine way, wvithout ringing th e bu rglar alarm?' "1Ie looked confused and ashamed, andi said, with embarrassment: 'I beg .1 thousand p)ardons. [ did not know ydr had a burtzlar alarm, else I would have rung it. I beg you will not mention it w'hero my parenuts may hear it, for they are o1ld antd feeble, and such a seeming ly wanton br-each of the hallowed con ventionalities of our- Christian civiliza tioni might all too rutdely sunder the frail bridge whIich hangs dlarklinig be twveen the p)ale andl evanescent present antd the solemn great (leeps of the eter nities. May I trouble you for a matchP' "I saidl: 'Your sentiments do you honor., but, if you wvill allow md to say it, metaphor is not your best lhold. Sparec your thigh; tht's' kind light only on the box, and seldom thkere; mn fact, my experience may be tr'ustedI. But to return to nmusmness. how (lt you getin here? "Through a second-story wi ndow." '"It wvas evenI so. I redenmed the tin ware at pawnbrokers' irat es, less cost of ndver-tising, lbade the burglar good night, closed thme window after him, and retiredi to hecadquiarters to rep)ort. 19ext morning we sent for the burglar-alarm man, and Iho came up and ex plained that the reason the alarm did not -go off, was that no p)art of the house but the first f!oor- was attached to the alarm. 'This was simply idiotie; one aight as well have no armor at hall in battle as to have it only on his legs. The expert nowv pnt the whlole second story on the alarm, charged 83100 10or it, and wvent his way. By-and-by, one night, 1 found a burglar in the third story about to start down a ladder, with a lot of miscella -neous property. My first impulse wvas to crack his head wvith a billiard-ene, but my second was to refrain fronm this attention, because he wvas between me andl the cue-rack. Thie second impulse .was plainly the soundest, so I retr-ained, and proceeded to compr-omise. I ro deemed tIhe property at former rates, after deducting ten per cent, for use of ladder, it being my ladder; and next day we sent (down for the expert once more, and had the thir-d story attac-hed to the alarm for $300. '"By this time the ' annunciator' hand fown to formidabtle dlimuensions. it dforty-seven tags on it, marked with enames of various - J,ns anti chimi neys, and it occupied the space of an ordinary wardrobe. The gong was the size of a washbowl, aind was placed above the head of our bed- There was a wire Irom the house to the coachman's quarters ini the stable, and a noble gong alongside his pillow. " W should have been comfor-table now~ but for one diefeet. Every morn ing at five the cook opened the kitchen -doer, in the way of business, and rIp went that grong!'The firat time this hap pened I thoiught thme last (lay was come, sure. I didn't think it in bed-no, .but out of bed--for the tir-st ell'ect of that frightful gong is to hurl you aeross the house and slam you against the wall, and then curl you up, and squirm yoni like a spider on a stove-lid, till some body shuts that kitchen door. In solid fact, there is no clamor that is even re motely comparable to the dire clamor which th'at ginig makes. WVell, this cat astrophe 4appenedL every morning reg.. ularly at five O'clock, and lost us three bours' aleep; for, mind you, when that thing wakes you, it doesn't merely wake you in spots; it waikes you all pvan donanienna and4 all, and yia ...e good for eighteen hou kot widewks nes subsequently-eighteen ars of. the very most inoonoevb wide. awakodness that you ever experienoed in your life. A stranger died on our hands one time, and we vaCated and left him in our room over night. Did that stranger wait for the general judg mentP No, sir; ho got up at five the rest morning in the most prompt. and unostentatious way. I knew he ' -ould; I knew it mighty well. He C A voted his life Insurance, and 'lived hap'y over after, for there was plenty of .p o . as to the perfect squareness of his di . "Well, we were gradually . 'ng away toward a better land, on aac nt of our daily loss of sleep: so we finah, had the expert up again, and he ran a wire to the outside of our door, and placed a switch there, whereby Thomas, the butler, Could take off and put on the a'arm; but Thomas always made one litt'o mistake-he switched the alarm off at night when he went to bed, and switched it on again at daybreak in the morning, just in time for the cook to open the kitchen door, and enable that going to slam us across the house, some times breaking a window with one or the other of us. At the end of a week we recognized that this switch business Was a delusion and a snare. We also dioovered that a band of burglars had been lodging in the house the whole time-not exactly to steal, for there wasn't much left now, but to hide from the police. for they were hot pressed, and they shrewdly judged that the de teetives would never think of a tribe of burglars taking sanctuary in a house notoriously protected by the most im posing and e!aborate burglar alarm in America. "Sent down for the expert again, and this time lie struck a most dazzling idea ---he fixed the thing so that opening the kitcheq door would take off the alarm. It was a noble idea, and ho charged ac cordingly. But you already foresee the result. I switched on the alarm every night at bed-time, no longer trusting to Thomas' frail memory; and as s:on as the lights were out the burglars walked in at the kitchen door. thus taking the alarm off without waiting for the cook to do it in the morning. You see how aggravatingly we were situated. For months we couldn't have any company. Not a spare bed in the house; all occu p.ed by burglars. " Finally, I got up a cure of my own. The expert answered the call, and ran anolher underground wire to the stable, and established a switch there, so that the coachman could put on and take off the alarm. That worked first-rate, and a season of peace ensued, during which we got to inv.ting company once more and enjoying life. "But by-and-by the irrepressible alarm invented a new kink. One win ter's night we vere flung out of bed by the sudden music of that awful gong, and when we hobbled to the annuncia tor, turned up the gas and saw the word 'Nursery' exposed, Mrs. McWilliams fainted dlead away, and I came precious near doing the same thing myself. I seized my shot-gun and stood timing the coachman whilst that appalling buz zing went on. I knew that his gong had flung him out, too, and that he would be along with his gun as soon as he could jump into his clothes. When I judged that the time was ripe I crept into the room next the nursery, glanced through the window, and saw the dim outline of the coachman in the yardl be. low, standing at a present-arms and waiting for a chance. Then I hopped into the nursery andl fired, and in the same instant the coachman fired at the redl fash of my gun. . Both of us were successfuil. I crippled a nurse and he shot off all my back hair. We turned up the gas and telephoned for a sur geon. T1here was not a sign of a burg lar, nndl no ii low had been raised. (Onc glass was absent, but that was wvhere the coachman's charge hadl conme through. Here was a tine mystery-n burglar alarm 'going oTl at midnight of its own ac-cord, and not a burglar in the ne'ghborhiood. "'The expert answeredi the usual call, and explamned that it was a 'false alarmi.' Said it was easily fixed. So lie overhauled the nursery window, chiargedl a remunerative figurd for it, and departedl. "What we suffered from false alarms for the noe.t three years no stylographic pen can dlescribe. Durizr the first few months I always flew witi my gun to the roomi indicated, and the coachman sallied forth with his battery, to support me. lIut tL ere was never anything to shoot--windows all tight and seure. ' e always sent dlown for the expert next day, andi ho t'edi t.hose par ticular windows so they would keep quiet a week or so, and always re membered to' send us a bill about like this: threeor...four..hundred ....als ..ast it, e soppdraswein themy..... ... Yes,.1 aihcos hes lhouse y thalrm.a. m Sfter oom iniatd.ndte 25l l isonn~ete ntha omfo h lr happenedg. Moreover,......left..that..r1.2 JItof parently.andd.d.not..nd.for.th "Aexnthapert.Wel ots nturthing thatmne lourseaofetime hall theroms thre take four hund fhalntse arm "it, wste anhiernrotem.e tie tars the hve baay he alm cam ofed the mindiaed ad hn oline disconaned harofebrmlar aarm! ans, ir;eryct bd and if othn had happed. Mtout,eovoth andef thtoom eprngs ell, gos w-athter sandl the toke one hunreant iry ma-e ofchiner wre othey service nde out, as and thiage unrotected tieftu ansigt anf cared tof tearglwar by,m "e,sr Weveryhad antiimai of it; e ak burwiaoplsed it out,tootly. toerl money. Te,nu he alaryir said tatl thaytoo oened hnowe wand ity mleshe o p in rgtwith jtil cned haet ou,lgand imossibe, andhi nee laet "Wc aame tof tk togetand putcon bte accmrnishead it ihot hmnasac. Thatsme alamr saida schatme. Teypmiednowa to have the wholngting fh inhdows ten daks. faley thegalan orn and nighetfo thut mier. They worked a couple-of days; then they left for the suommter After which the burglars moved In and begin their summer vacation. When we re tuirned Ii the fall the hiouse was -a pty seoa beer closet in premises rea pinters have been at work. e rtualsedand then sent dlown to hury up the expert. He came up and finished the job, and said: ' Now this clook is set to put' on the alarm every night at ten, and take it off every morn ing at 6:46. All you've got to do is to wind her up every week, and then leave her alone-she will take care of the alarm herself.' " After that we had a most tranquil season during three months. The bill was prodigious, of course, and I had said I would not pay until the new ma chinery had proved itself to be flawless. The time stipulated was three months. So I paid the bill, and the very next day the alarm wont to buzzing like 10,000 bee-swarms at ten o'clock in the morning. I turned the hands around twelve hours, according to instructions, and this took off the alarm; but there was another hitch at night, and I had to set her ahead twelve hours once more to get her to put the alarm on again. That sort of nonsense went on a week or two; then the expert came up and put in a now clock. He came up every three months during the next three years and put in a new clock. But it was always a failure. His clocks all had the same perverse defect. They would put the alarm on In the da% time, and they would not put it on at night; and if you forced it on yourself, they would take it ott again the minute your back was turned. "Now there is the history of that burglar alarm--everything just as it happened; nothing extenuated, and naught set down in malice. Yes, sir; and when 1 had slept nine years with burglars, an maimtaine an extensive burglar alarm the whole time, for their protection. no )t mine, and at my solo cost-for not a plaguey cent could I ever get them to contribute-I just said to Mrs. McWilliams that I had enough of that kind of pie; so with her full consent I took the whole thing out and traded it of for a (log, and shot the dog. I don't know what you think about it, Mr. Twain; but I tiink those things are made solely in the Interests of the burglars. Yes, sir: a burglar alarm combines in its person all that is o' ectionable about a fire, a riot and a harem, and at the same time has none of the compensating advantages, of one sort or another, that customarily be long with that combination. Good-bye; I get off here." So saying Mr. McWilliams gathered up his sachol and umbrella, and bowed himself out of the train.-"Mark Twain," in Ilarper's Christnaas. The Dangers of Vegetarian Diet. The wife of the celebrated Dr. Tan ner has lately taken ill) her abode in France, having obtained a divorce from her eccentric husband under the follow ing circumstances: Dr. Tanner, it ap pears, Is peculiarly addicted to extra ordinary fancies; and, some time since, he thought that he' had found out that the human character becomes modified according to the food taken by the indi vidual, and especially in relation to the vegetables consumed. Carrots, he avers, make people fidgety and sly; tur nips produce extreme amiability; whilst a prolonged diet of French beans induces great irritability of temper, The carrying out of this theory has brought great trouble into Dr. Tanner's home. He made a heavy wager on the question with some friends, and experi mented on Mrs. Tanner with French beans, giving her to eat about three pounds of this vegetable daily. It is not altogethler to be wondleredl at if, after such a regimen, Mrs. Tanner be came. rather more irritable than: was p)erhaps contempjlated, and threw a jug at Dr. Trannier's head. The dloctor, how ever, gainedl his bet; andI, more thor oughly convinced than ever or the truth of his theory, put his wife on the turnip diet, so as to make her as amiable as she was before the French bean regi men. T1his time, however, the result w'as not so strictly in accordance with the- theory. Mrs. Tanner objected to be any longer a subject for these vege tarian experiments; suedi for a divorce, and, wvhat is 'more singular, obtained it, British Medlical Journal. What Didi It Mean, Anyhow? ~ Exactness in the use of language is vrderable, and(ho far frmabso lute exactness ordinary people come in evecry day talk is humorously shown by this little bit of critical analysis con tributed to the Newburyvport iera/d: "Gentlemen arec requested not to use tobacco or sp)it on the floor."' The phrase is ambiguous; it may mean: (1) G. are requested not to use tobacco, andl are also requested to spit on the dloor; I. e., please abandon to bacco, andt please spit on the floor. (2) G. are requestedi n. t. um. t. and not to spit on the floor; i. e., please abandon tobacco andi spitting on the floor (both). (3) G. are requested n. t. u. tob., an d are reqjuestedl to spit on the floor if they do; i. e , please not chew, but if you must (hew dion't spit dIown tihe registery (as many people do disgustingly), but sp)it on the floor. (4) (1. arc requlested n. t. u. tolb., or not to spit on the floor; i. e., to be your choice either to aban don tobacco or spitting. (5) (G. are re q1uestedl n. t. u t., or spit on the floor; I. e., please abandon tobacco, and if you dor not abandon it you may never thmeless abandon spitting. A New Ingredient. .It is Mrs. Cobb's candid Opinlie n t hat in some cases, education is not of much benefit to the colore,l race. Mrs. Cobb has a colkored cook, wvho says she gradluatedl at a female ceom story, wvho can read, andl who gives much of her tume to per-using the cook book. A fewv mornings ago, the cook, whose name Is Mandy, was told to make seome cake A short time after-wards she ap peaired in the parlor wvithi the cook book in her hands, andI said "I wants yer to scand right oft' to do store and get seine latter to put on do cake." " Some what?" " Some latter." " Latter." "Yes, latter. I'se done tole yer four time." " In the name of common sense, what Is latter?" I dunno what hit am. I didnin write dis heah book. Hit reads dat a cup full ob de latter s ould be p)ut in do cake to make bit good." Mrs. Col jeris ed the boo0k out of the cook's hand, an d, at the place indicated, read: " Mix up the dong'h with a cup of water, or of sweet milk, but the latter is the best. "-Tc.ras Siftings. --M&e. Nilsson was told at Omaha that the 7,000 Scandinavians in that vi cinity would like to give her a recep tion. "You astonish me," she replied. "Oh, my poor country! Ten thousand of its'people in New York and 7,000 here! W'hat will become of t?" -Peorle as a rule are noit wilful fault-finiders. They appear so simply because their objective vision Is more Ron4p tb,itheir subJective eroention. Yenttlatioa. Whoever appreaohes Cis apparently simple yet actually compheated and bewildering question is at the outset in partial or complete despair. For, from the beginning the mission of man has been to fight lay and night against the f admission of the element, without which i edstence is impossible. Black death, c plague, leprosy, all manner of diseases r have been the witness of his victory over an element which, excluded, can i always find its own revenge, and even to-day, with all the enlightenment of this most enlightened century, the battle r still goes on. r Theoretically, we admit that it mnst rule. Practically, we deny it hour by ( hour. Millions of dollars have been t spent in perfecting systems, all of which n have come to nothing. The Senate i Chamber and House of Repres3ntatives at Washington are both deliberately arranged in such fashion that sunlight t and air are alike impossible, and the a latter can only come from force-pumps in the collar. It is true that air-holes b under each seat are warrauted to give a I pure atmosphere, but repeated personal ' observation has shown that when the openings are not used by our respected a law-makers as spittoons, they are plu i ged with paper, this being the case with 1 so large a proportion of them that one need not at all wonder at the character of the legislation going on above. In our churches, theaters and all public places, the same ingenious moth ods prevail, and if, as sometimes in railway cars, ventilators are opened, there is always some enterprising man t with cane or umbrella who shuts them, and then returns well pleased to his place, to breathe with calm enjoyment R the rejected efiluvium of all the laboring I lungs about him. We, who would shrink from drinking- from a stranger's b or even a friend's cup, or eating from a I plate already soiled by use, drink in u hesitatingly the breath-not as it enters the lungs, pure outer air, but as it is thrown off-laden not only with the natural weight of deadly carbonic acid gas, but with1 whatever personal pecu liarity of disease or habit the breather may own-reekino with tobacco or a liquor, with foul 7umes of indigostod i food-with deadly germs from diseased lunos or other organs. Dibe picture is disgusting, but is it overdrawnP And if not, can any words be too strong against the passive ac ceptance of such a condition of things? For precisely as one shoukt shrink from contact with leprosy or loathsome sore, should they shrink from the pollution of breathing an air tainted by passage through every sort of lung and as truly foul and indecent for one's own use as would be the food chewed by another and handed on to one's own plate for consumption. Yet people go on calmly, or if moved to temporary action, pas. quickly from energy to apathy. The judge on his bench falls in an apoplep tie lit induced by want of air! Women faint and are carried out of crowded theaters, where even if slight ventila tion exists, everyigas-jet nreans the con. sumption of air enough for eighteen 1 lungs, no allowance having been made, however, for any such added draught upon resources. And in churchea, rising at all points and thronged with seekers after spiritual life, the same 1 results are found and disease and death in subtle disguises have their way with the. body and thus with the soul. T[ie average school-,uom is as fatal, and children in them arc the victims of slow murder, passing from a pale and nerveless childhoad to a pale and nerve less man or womanhood. If air were1 only on sale and to be bought the world would be earning moneyv for its p)urchase and would count no toil too great for aii share in the precious possession. But as it is God's free gift, the portion of all,I we shut it out or contentedly poison it, (lay and night. A full-growvn man averages about one hundred and fifty-four 1pountds in weight. One hundred andl eleven of this is oxy-, gen, drawn from the air we breathe, food and air being the two means by wh ich bodies live, lBut food wit hunt air is useless. Only when it has first beeni dissolved in the stomachi, carried by ab sorptioni into the blood, and, at last, by means of circulation, brought~ into con tact wvith the oxygen of the air taken into our lungs, does it begin to either feedi or nourish, so that the lungs may beC said to be really tihe true stomach, anid the other only a convenient mecep table on which to draw after deposit. Any anaton:y or phJy.siology will give thme details of structure which ought to be p)lain to all, and when this is I hor oughly understood it will be easy to see < why thirty-three hiogsheads1 of air arc I used each day by every healthy pair of lungs, and whiat necessity exi.sts for -in suring a pure supply. It rests solely I and wholly with ourselves whether this i ebbing and flowing tidie shall remain charged with poison -carrymng death to every organ of the body, or shall receive I its full supply of the vitalizing oxygen,i sn(t so tase to ba weighed (town and mlade powverless for good. Fifty years ago ventilation was scout ed, but it existed in spite of windowsi nailed down and cracks stuffed with z cotton, the open chimneys making a 1 constant draught and renewing the air in every room where a lire was burned. t To-day we open windows more often, but furnace and gas both vitiate andf consume air enough for many lungs, andi thius comes the necessity for a meth od wvhic~h shall give us the hiealth of the < 01(1 while retaining the advantages of r the new. Whether t,his can be accom- s plished we are presently to sec.-Our Continent. Hoew the Old SRh1arles Were P'aid. Between 1777 and 1784 the Terr-itory of Tennessee (really parit of North Caro lina) maintained a Sitate Government under the name of "'Franklyn."' In the. old records - quot'ed once lby Daniel Webhster in a Congressiont al specech stand th e followving cutrious1 statements of the way payments were made in ai time when the people had no current money : "Be it enacted b)y thme General As sembly of the State of Franklyn : That from the first dlay of Janiuar,,1 779, the salaries of the oflicers of this Conimnon wealth be as follows, to-wit: " His Excellency the Governor, per I annum, 1,000 deer skins ; " His Honor the Chief Justi- 500 deer skins ; a 0 raccoon skinsa " The 'I reaso,.or of the State, 450 rac-I coon ski ;( "Clerk o' the House of Commons, 200 1 raccoon ski s a; " Member- of Assembly, per dier,a t three raccoon @lms : r "Entered into a law the 18th day of t~ October, 1779, under the great seat oft the State." c The well-worn burlesque of the c " leather medal " suggeste a vague ref. erence to the times when skins were the only money.-- Youth's Comnpanenj,. ---Plug hats cause baldness. )3ut it is worth something to be a gentleman.. which you cannot convince a man in a plus that ha is not.-Lonwal na%c,m A STRANA$ E*INI 0Mi5 'he Escape of a We.U Ktdia .stAwrny, surgeon from an Unforeseen Danger. (DaWmors Auinrtoan.) sers. Edftors: I seldonm appear publicly in print, but the acts connected with my experience which illow are so striking, and bear so closely up n the experience of others, that I venture to Dpro.fuce them entire t In the nionth of September, 1879 I was racticing medicine in Ne w Orleans. Tfhe sum ter hk;l been excessively hot and everybody 'rs complaining of being exhausted and feel ig tired. It was not anl unfrequent occur Dnce tohave patients ask for something tot olleve this weary sensation, and that Ishould lso partake of the same universal lassitude r weakness, did not alarmr me. I supposed hat over-work and exposure had produced a eiporary physical prostration; therefore 1 ide a trip to St. Paul, Minn., thinking that rest of a few weeks in a cooler climate could soon reinvigorate me. Little did I ream, however, what was in store for re. fter getting settled in my new quarters I ook a short walk every day, and patiently waited a return of strength, but in spita of 11 my efforts I seemed to be losing strength; rd even any slight exercise became la or ious and tiresome. During this time had frequent dull achlug pains in iy head, and through my back antI ips, occasion-il shooting pains in various parts f the bo.ly,with soreness, shortness of breath rid palpitation of the heart. My feet and ands would be like ice one day, and burn with eat the next. I h.id no desire for food, and rhat I did eat distressed me; my sleep be ane disturbed with the frequent desire to inate. The quantity of fluid passed would t one time be snall and at. another quite rofuse. Then for (lays I would be per cetly free from this desire an d nothing seemed o be the matter; nevertheless my debility radually increased. Miy eyelids were puffed ut; mny bowels were alternately torpid and 00 active, the urine would be clear some days, n others it would be of highcolor and deposit brick-dust sediment, ani at still others there rould he a whitish appearance and a thin reasy scum would rise to the top. The pains a my head, back, chest, joints, bowels nd ones were horrible in the extreme. I went n vain from place to place and consulte.1 the est me<lical authorities the country affords; would have a chill one day and a burning ever the next. I suffered excruciitingly with nuinbness or my feet and hands, and at the rase of the brain and between my shoulders; t times my lirnbs and body would bloat and hysicians said I was suffering from the dropsy rid could not recover. llow I could be so, blind to the terrible rorble that was devouring me, I do not :iow; but there ire thousands to-day who re snfiering tron the saine c .use and are as Knorant of its nature as I w:s. aiy skin was he color of marble at one time, and then gain it would be like saffron, and this terri >e restlessness, and I might say wildness, vas followed by a dull. heavy, drowsy sensa lon. I was wasted to a mere skeleton ex ept when the dropsic il bloat occurred. I ried all the celebrated mineral waters of this ouintry and Europe; all kinds of meidicine mid all kinds of doctors. Still no help carrie. lay at my hotel in Philadelphia, where I was emporarily sojourning, given up to die by riends and physicians alike, when there wovidenttally camle into my hands a little ianiphlet, which I c irefully read, and from rhich I got a view of rmy real condi ion, which no other agency had revealed. cting on its advice, I had my water uialyzed at once, and to my sur riee, at ,uinen and tube casts were found in arge quantities. A skillful physician Wna cut for anil apprised of t.he f.ret. 1Ie said I rad rt's lasense, an< that death was ertAin. My friend-; importuned mne to take reiedy which had wou a great reputation for lie cre of all forims of kidney discapes, and I herefore laid aside my prejudice and coin ncnce<l its use. At first iny storach rejected t and I h:ad to us' small quantities; but after he first live days ny stoimaci retained full loses. This was one year ago last October, mnd rny irmprovement was rapid and perma rent. I have regained 50 of the t. pounds or lesh I losi, during my illness, and 1 feel as vclI to-d -y as ; ever dld, ani I can unreserved y state that my life was saved by Varner's iafe Kidney and Liver Cure, the remedy I tsed. It may seetm strange that I, being a physi lan and an ex-army surgeon, did not have tihe rater ianalyzedi be fore; but such is the frct. had tire symrtoims of every other disease, rid I did ni't suispect that miy kidneys were ii hre least particular out of order; and here is uist whlere I was in tire greatest, danger, an:1 rhrere miost peoprle wrho read this article are ni dairnger. 1 llid that 1 ain only one of throu anuls who are suffering from kidney dlisor crs, which, neglected, surely terniniate in right's disease. I also know that physIcians liauy treat these ulisordlers for months without nowing clearly what tire trouble is, anml evyen fier ascertain i n~ ir e cause, be unable to pre "'ut it. When <leathi, hrowever, firnally over ikes the hnelpless v'ictim threy <litunise its re:! :iuse, attrihirttinmg it to hecart-diseaise, coinvul ions, aupoplexy, vertigo, paralysis, spriinal nrenirgetis, bloorl and umrimic poisoniing, etc., WVoruls, of course, fail to express my thnnks o 1i..1H. Warner & Co., of Rochester, N. Y., or g.ivinig tire world such a needed anid cer ain speciile as tire Safe Kidrney and Liver jure, but such as they are I gladly give them; shie to the thouisanrds to whromlI have heel red i upon the laiws of heaslh rind hygiene I ormirnerid tis letter mosct. cordially, anid warn herm to beware of tire inesilIous nature of a liseaise over which physicians confess thmey myve no control arid whiich, in one form or' riothier, is carrying mnore people to untimely raves than any other muaarnly. J. M. PORTER, M. D., Baltimore, N L, Hi Saratoga Street. louldn't Really Wait for the HIanging. " What's all this crowd around for?" sked Mr. McIver, of Texas, when thre aptain of the regulators caught up with " They've come to see thre hanging," aid tire Captain ; "man going to be> Langed in a minute; better wait and see "'Fraid won't have time," said Mr. IcIver, walking sideways and keeping is hands down. "Got a horse out here u tire brush 1 want to look after ; 'fraid hre's got a spavin comnin'." ''That's it," the Captain said. " Lit lo correl mare, with blaze face and two rlhito feet-my mare and you're theo iran. ,0uess you had better stay for thre angin'." "Can't," said Mr. McIver, "I've got o go to the shootin'." So saying, he got his hand on his gun, lied a couple of regulators frill of holes, mid, with thre sardionic laug h of a man lro wars dlisapp)ointed because hie ourldnl't stay "' to tire hrangin',"' lio dis ppeared in the brush to lo.iok after that Lace. I once saw in Paris a magnificent stage astrumo made lby Mine. Jurdio. On the dirt waris tire loveliest tablier of r'ich ice I ever beheld. Th'le dress was dlis bayed on account of that lace; and that ice was worth, p)erhiaps, 25f., for it was aper. wonderfully stanmped, and repre s ted chains of fuchlsias, andI looked just a nmuch like a piece of real lace as a 'aris diamond by night looks like an Id mine gem. Parisian actresses wear mat paper lace a great deal; it is tough, if t, arid very effective. To wear a cost-. lot of lace, which may be ruined in a ight, when $5 worth of lace paper looks a well, is considered the height of >lly by intelligent foreigners-London Wreater. A Firenmn's Fortune. Them Sn F"ranciano (Cal.) C'h'rnie in rn article con the Fire D)epartmenrt of Sam 'ranisjco, gives tire following from Asat. hrief Engineer Mrttthew Brady: -"I have een subject to an aggravating pain ir, iy chest for over fouar years. I resorted various modes of treatment to obtain :lief. I have had my chest terribly blis red. No physician could '.ell what was 1e matter with me. Two weeks ago I rmmenced using St. Jacoba Oil. It has ured me." -Governor Blackb mnn, of Kentucky. lads oif' in the pardren business. Dur pg his administration of nearly four ears he ha pardoneod more than 1,590O rimninals, remitted fines of mor-e than I ,000,000 and granted respites to other nas to the amount of somne 61,000.000. The ieer t.t the O(ha While J. J. Brady and G. W. Cooper *ete getting out some timber in the swamp neat this plaoe, within 200 yards of the grave ard just over Cedar (reek, $ they cut and slit a large white oak, in fel the butt of which, about three feet from the ground, they found, four inches in- r side of the surface of the tree, a .lole , that had been bored about six inches 1 deep with an inch aug. In this augur hole was found lodged at the heart of the tree a bundle of human hair, nicely e wrapped in paper and tied with a strong me cotton, string. A completely seasoned me and nicely made white oak peg, about yo six inches long, was driven tightly over wit this bundle. The tree, which had no sign of a scar upon it, is supposed to . have grown eight inches in diameter Ma pince the hole was bored, as it was four F inches from the surface to the hecad of - the peg. The bundle, peg, and every. thing, looked as fresh and new as if they had n placed there the day before. " Some who claim to be posted on the ur ,growth of trees have counted the grains in it and made a calculation. They say that the bundle must have remained irn bedded in the trunk of this huge tree at least fifty years. But no one on eartk can tell how long it remained there, who put it there, or why it was done. - lVrightsville (Ga.) Recorder. ON TIIIRTT DAYS' TRIAL. THE VOLTAIC BELT Co., Marshall, Mich., will send Dr. Dye's Celebrated Electro Voltaic Belts . nd Electric Appliances on - trial for thi. tv days to men (young and old) who are aillicted with nervous debil ity, lost vitality and kindred troubles, guaranteeitg speedy and complete restor ation of health and manly vigor. Address as above. N. B.--No risk is incurred, as thirty days' trial is allowed. - -Elevators to photograph galleries have been adopted by one or two enter prising artists abroad. The object is to lu obtain a pictuiro free from that wearied, pr hope less expression worn by many peo- i ple after climbing up five or six flights of c stairs in 0order to reach the sky studios, cia SKINNY Men. "Wells' Health Renewer" re- ms stores heal th cures dyspepsia, impotence. $1. ; "WMLurs' RoUoit ON Cotus." jic. Ask for con it. Complete cure. Corns, warts, bunions. t -It is a sinceuire which most of us are alter-i. c., a place in which there is nothing to do and large pay for doing it.--N. Y Heral. IR Mr11 peptoolm . teas onio, the on troperltl.. I betf coitatdiiug its enitre nuri 0 'ous prejewaas. It cootal:ia blood-nmakil LI' -.rc gQ.rlt.hg end ih-e eutamintg prloiertor uraliable for iudi'.ate-n.n dyspc'pnitt, ce rou, vI ,rosirattcn, and all forms of getnera: itit ~re: leo, in all enfe?t>led conditlons, weitle-r ti. -esalt of e&haustton, norvons roatt at:.n, C rer - "vork or sacute di.aase, particu'.r!y i. resiti C .rotm pit,lonaary comnpisinta. Caiooll. h :a 4,Co., propr:stora, Nsfr York. Sold b-' d:-nggia, g Lad ip & chi!dren', boot.s & shoes ctui't run w over if Lyon's Pat. Heel S iflegrs are used Sta Henr.y-s Carbolic Rative Is the beat Salve for ,u.a, Bruiser, Si -1a U.carr, Stle at ti R'hitit,'1'.ter, Caaped Hand,, Chi bhalne, Crcs righ and all kinds of Skin Eruptiots Freckles and Pin pies. ( t Henry's Carb tlic aIve, as all others are cotntet telts. F,ice 25 o?nte. Cure that Cold. Do not sufbr your iungs to b.come diseasei by a lowirg a cod to continuo without an efort to cure it. 1 h-usandq hav3 diel pretnat ira deaths, the victimr of Ccnetumption, by sanl ly nl,ectling a cald. Dr. Wm. Hall's Balsam for the Lungs will cure Coids, Coughs and Consumption utt or and quickel than aiy oter remedy. 'I1 h .uh aow, Is 1ure if p1r&istedl in recordiing to dircet'ons. R UEUV.'T'Sb QRU REDII C l' Sntninp I r tie pt rescr pion ci tiH. Il thentine W t n , >0 it CERIiZNIiMEDY : FO3RF. P~AIN.1 C U RE S Rheumatism, Neuraigia, Sciatica, Lumbago, Backache, Headache, Toothache, more Taroat. Swellinaga, Spi,ratu ,nrstlne., IKer , newiuau. Senad. -rout Stiles, ANt) ALl E,OTiEIt lii,Y l'AIS A NtI ACiliS. sold by Druggists ant D)ealers evere where. Fifny cent-s bot tle,~ itrectious in i1 t.nniguaes. TIlE OlARtLIS A. voOEI,ElI Co0. (Bonoeuso to A. VOU ELERt CO. c ii lalthur. hit., U. s. A, R0 Hostetter's stomach U1fl~I Eh.D~~Bitters gives steadli- L * .mELEBRATlo news to the nerves, In ppuhaw.aa~.~ duces a healthy, nat. ural flow of bile, pre vents consiWpaton _ without undutly pur ging the bowels, gen-H tigr stimulates time -- cIrculation. ad by Dy promoting a Vigorous spas encndition of t he Re' ph,ystr. systal, pro.- tars chteer.'it-ss whIeh lac Is t.he 'ruest indkca. box Lion of a well-bal. rood SSanced condition of saae MACH er1- IO s h~a o- ar For sale by all te __Diuggsts and Deal- by 4 era generally, Sal H 11E WASUIIENCJGTON ( D. t)h Wi e_g ii liei c up tat-', W lhe , I. t.l fu f7)A WHtK. tld a dsv af- t mne easily made. 00lLOsty otitfa ree.Addrtts Trute :And Atus Ms - Tis fl.Y. Sin er, $20 -- Warrante<1 p-erfecti..Light runninlg a' quiet.hiandisete and durabie. St-ni ccl W san tw4 trial-plan when de,iied. nra asepysesm Orgu., 4 et, 01 Rees,13 tesania ent aVo Alae sent en tet tria.lphn [ft $5ac ton douol- Ii nd tt. 'iia.wthtstJ a iafr . ,,- Pn A CENT'S :m mn ore __a_dr _ cur 7 !~i~ t-~Jy~ A (iE'NTO WA Tms -l it- iet tind t-. incaed 3 per cent. N inaAtn.: ii,t -, All ii, ... DRi Dr. LaFJEUS' FRENCII AM lSOACIE VIGOR *% ortiw. n heari en the timoothtett fiace in 70 tiny.--or lets moentey refuitded. Nteer fa,ib. Itent en recei of ite i nrI t at, i t er ,- itt In. il Crelr . ar Addre,'T.WI.HAXg,box 22, Warsawit,Ind. C .S.A. ftier a thorour trial of dh' rui IRON TONIO, I take plea-.arerr in stating that I have been g-reatly benefited by its Miiters anfd Pb-- _ of agreatest a lue _Le w reaTonic is nees-i aas rliable remedial nuititve and rMiortie 'ro rtes zoufate Ky, oM.: OI NA T C cfho vepry is e i- a Sto EJ. P.8gfV H ii1! ere oly I 1ed wnonc. aT )te achinlery b. ealployed. ke NE* any ne,t that ba bee d or woriis reu for repai bs en you BEihi0 the work Is co iced. All n,rk paranteed. Put ir name and address !it the pa h the watch. 6'Send for 0ur TED CATAIAGUE AND PRIEM. , P. STEVENS WATCH. nufacturere of stom-wind iat ictory and Ofde 84 Whltels13t ONSUMPTION. tve . polttte reeoedy for dt s t. tforsann of- a o1 D In . I.ku, .t u'Thys EL AST0 TRUSS EGGLfTON TRUmS CO; " 'L CURES WHERE ALL ELSE FAI =. Lsoeiinttutp. 7Fto dj rAA it e ". DDTYOUR t r - u1 club i n of nh th e Mut a t N I nveetmenll I VI ItArom investmDt. of$10LtvINUGomoi dealM an AIN, PROVISIONS &L EINS S gets the net of combin t - I . It porls sent weekly. T)lIv~0I(.6 a nfloattbl) IHpai nn r.o dt"3i hack their t lonUyt oAk in thntu 1110111 ii. still ha:ving~ originl antgt n>kla in;Inb,tn"ret rned o n<lemn. Shate,11eaeh, tfl nn,r) rr.rrulrssenit free. Keteheortepondents i.4 tve) :vhtre Address It. i. Ktertlt L a Co. tn Mr th & bs L allo 8.. uoAo. IL ELL and F'ACTO Y BTPL ' ALL KINDS. BELTING 10E ad OKING, I)ILS, PUMPS ALI KiNDS, )IT PIPE~, -VITTING8, BRAS GOODS, EAM GAUGES, ENGINE GO'RNORB, Send for Price Lie? . W H. DIL RGHAM & 00., 143 Main Stret, LOUIS LLE, KY. tol :20PC, da r at home. 8amp1e wortb PC, L fr. Airsee ETtmum it &fn- Rtiand. 13u C uman e lol e, fa.a.., N B . 0 . rite~ ror aetalopie. AA GoE:Z ' ted for the best Boln8" book I the United es. Write, arid iN tctms we ofer. Salary and comnksioa to the E mD. J. 1. C1AMNBERS CO., oerorto_ e.JAtona, U* . Is Erals Ami .S 10 TARsA. ible to au.s Epilep+ aff"E AN~q~ AI Pt. 8i , Ooevol. ee.Vit Dan..n * v eo~'oo iD Z3R 1, tagefulfrtian ..dentas " cplofst eanee nvon . io. aartt t aUIabled. c. r, ner r E, so t the .i laingY Made lkins . A y3fK~lh 0Cs a to a t n t tuu s :n.,o . .O0r'. rI, as ur'LAVYfAM -a.u R.t.....,nr....i ' i iak... e- fr nlyexe. IbZ v. l iiuki'.roatme1n.l. e,r l.'i''.*** **' i. ''~ ***Oiir 10n awThser wein by =e 6 A E fnyull ownfowrmo and TONrtiaS miEdTORAIPill. fr h.ap o t.o onr a . or nw V rk ND DR .UNEmdElS.ss iorce$ be Nate Draue, avrtm , pa ph andbu proofl addres, Lh nee n lap W.O.RELAY be . w ,, Iptof rlo W cnsrnstIcoaf isero Wil a or e reosrdb sbl e s. ~DWEInurow, Io., Tsam il E lC Q-uwl. A itC oUR B9. to KIOa