Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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14 M - D..OTED TO POLJTICS, EORAITY, DUCATION. AND TO THE GkNERAL INTEEST OF THE COUNTR. MTU RSDAY. MARCH 16, 1882. VOL. XI. NO 26 lAaatil asylum. 0 amilltn, of Dalton, Ga., ha Atone for whioh he has re 4 albd in one day Ia Tusoalooo, Ala. f4-84 ioo faptory. - 4 trpentinefarm near Hawkinsville, '#,, .is eomposed of S00 acres, and wilj -be inereased to.1,600. 0on. John M. Bookwalter, late deme oratic candidate for Governor of Qhio, has purchangd the old Atlanta Scofield rolling mill. Ninety-one thousand eight hundred and eighty-six pounds of manufactured Btobaoco was shipped in bond from Pe tersburg, Va., last week to foreign porte, Since 'the sale of whisky has been stopped at A ugusta, Ark., the people find no use for a city marshal, and are contemplating the question of abolish, Ing the office. An East Tennessee lunatic named Walton imagined that he was directed byGod to offer up his wife as a sacrifice and made several attempts to murder her before he was confined. Judge Pierce of Memphis charges the grand jury to indict the men who run the " bucket shops?' He declares that theaspeculating in future delivery cotton and grain is gambling simon pure. A shark killed recently on the Florida coast measured seventeen feet ten and a half inches long. Eleven silver Mexi can dollars, one Spanish doubloon, gold, and a lot of brass buttons were found in his abomach. J. J. Duval, of Prescott, Ark., de stroyed a colored man's eye while snipe hunting last week. The gentleman paid the surgeon's bill, gave the victim a sum of money, and deeded him forty acreb of good farming land. Mr. Stringer's gold vein, near Gainea ville, Ga-, shows six feet of superior gold quartz between Phining agalite passed into mica slate. One specimen taken from the surfaCe shews a clear crystal of oxide of tin. The giant Charles Drummond, a col ored laborer in Onancock county, Va., is ini his nineteenth summer. He meas ures six feet eight inches in height, his shoe is sixteen inches long, and his weight 284 poundP. His principal diet since boyhood has l'eon sweet potatoes. Savannah (Ga.) Naise: Not only are whales captured af our coast in large numbers, but they have become so em boldened that they .ply our in-shore streams. The captain of a bark that has been loading in Wright's river re ports seeing oge for several days peram bulating in the vicinity of his vessel. Not alone off' the mouth of entrance to the Savannah river are these denizens of heretofore other climes to be found, but are seen all the way downa the Georgia coast. A few days since the whaling schooner Golden City, Capt. Anthony, captured a seventy-barrel whale outside the harbor of Brunswick. To strike and make a good haul out of a ehoal of these creatures is a "lucky find," and when we consider-that the one captured near *Brunswick, though not considered any - thing like a mastodon, yielded seventy barrels, or about 2,130 gallons of oil, valued at about $2,600, the busines~s can not be else but profitable. Valuable Hints. When ice is required at night for a sick person, break it into small pieces, and if it be scarce and care must be taken to prevent its melting, put into a soup plate, cover with another plate, and put between twvo feather pillows. Nevser wear a good woolen dress into -the kitchen without the protection of a large apron. No flannel that has not been carefully washed, and is not perfectly soft, and fleecy, should ever touch the skin of an infant. We never had any patience with a mother or nurse who would stick pins carelessly into her dress, collar, or rib. bon, thereby inflicting painful wounde upon her innoont victim. Not a pin, excepting a sat t,' pin, should be used about a ohil1, and when buttons will per form the offiee of pins they should be made to do so. O mothers, aunties, or sisters wvh. do up the school luncheon for the young sters : pray make it as attractive in ap pearance as ppssible. There is truly nothing very attrabtive about a thiec pieco, of dry bread and butter and a cookie, all rolledl in a piece of ooarse brown paper, washed down by a drink from the cup that "gocs the rounds." Such a luncheon will often impair the aptte of a fastidious or delicate child, - an hewill go without rather than oat it. A little care in the cutting of the broad ; the doing up of the cookies os orutllers in tissnle or white paper ; the sance or custard put into a pretty cup, and all1 wrapped in a clean white napkin within a bright tin pail, or, betta still, a pretty lunch basket, wimll, by t pleas ure it gives teochild, well repay the extra care and thoughit.-Rurae Neu Yorker. ____ Satarles of British Ministers. The 'salar list of the British Govern soithe relative rank assigned goasa diplomatic station anpowers. The British v ary 5 , ~ na 4,000 ; at Oonste~In~,tSt Peters WICS OF 'S 1Ar. TAA stenoggai report of the u. Leau trial ost ;WO,. . TAN telphons is npw iOperation in portions of Central Asia. IW-Vwu Paasmmer W~anmau is In Florida catching alMgst,^. Tan Ministry in Bgyp.t conuides slavery in that ountry a neopsity. A AADIAN Court has-reoognised the validity af divoroes granted in New York. Tua bridge over East River, at New York, is to be completed the present year. Twimyu female doctors in Russia am now offilally engaged in teaching medicine to women. IF A man adulterates food in China he is put to death. In America the con. samer is put to death. IT Is safe to conclude that eranks with missions to destroy rulers are becoming satirely too abundant. Fnr-meT million dollars' worth of auger rings are worn in the United States, not counting the brass ones. TEMPEBANcE in the White House is at a low ebb. Six different kinds of whe grace the dinners given in that institu. tion. MR. BrAINE's eulogy on Garfield seems to be universally commended by the press for its impartial and moderate tone. Tan assessed value of real estate for taxation in St. .Louis is $161,171,610; personal property, $30,414,680. Total, $191,586,240. A MAN who gave information that lead to the conviction of the murderer of Dailey, in Dublin, was shot dead in the street a few days ago for his pains. THE fact that Chinese are arriving at San Francisco to the number of 1,000 to 1,500 a day would make it appear that the Celestials have just begun to dis cover us. WINSLOW, the Boston forger, is mak. ing money hand over fist in Rio do Yaneiro. His second wife clings to him, although she knows his first wife is living. _______ Tan Sprague divorce suit was settled without the necessity of proving the husband was a brute or the wife unfaith ful, and the country, in that particular, should feel relieved. Rovmu MAcLEAN, who attempted to assassinate the Queen of England, Is pronounced sane by the doctors. To all appearances, his inspiration was drawn from Guiteau's notoriety. Bisnor, the mind reader, has been completely stumped. An offer has been made him in London of a ?41,000 bank note if he will tell its number while it remains in a sealed envelope. Mn. PAnINELL disobeyed the rules of Kilmainham Jail and was subjected to one week of solitary confinement there. for. Thus it will be seen that Mr. Par nell is looked upon as an ordinary crim inal. Miss KATE FIELD contributes a long article to Our Continent advocating knee breeches, and for lack of space, says she will pursue the subject further in a subsequent numtber. Better les men's clothes alone. A LARom dry goods firm of Boston pro. poses to its employee that ench shall contribute $10 In weekly installments of fifty cents, toward treating one out of every twenty-five of their number to a trip to Europe, Iink to decide who shall go. _____ A coNrEMPRAnY suggests that a gen eral bankrupt law is of far less import ance than a law regulating marriages and .divorces, which shall be applicable to all parts of the country. That seems to be a pretty sensible idea. Matrimony, above all things else, should be well regulated. OANVAS-EA6Kan hams of American pro diact, imported into Garmany, are here after to be taxed as cotton goods. This seems a little queer, but it is so. Per hap. when some person gets one of the hams off to himself and goes into the bowels of the thing he will find it to be pretty meaty. DzsrtrION on the LJower Mississippi does not only continue, but seems to In, orease. Numerous break i the. levees are reported and the whole lower oountry Is completely inundated. In osequenee, the greatest disprora preivails saeng the Iihabitants who are left wiarent shelter esr the nedessarles of life. Ta. ish -Commisslob prop'ose, in Apit pitoein Lake Phie between 40,. GOP 46000,000o white fash, which hdat Smndusky and next year to the .stooihgx of, the Stat. up O4Pat Wa ea those mabra 0 Counni wia vgtd for the ordinanoe ai. Lhg salooftA. Mr. rioe, baker, says he has lost many customers, a Mr. Stout has lost. several thouand bunh0s Of coal, and a Mr. Caylor inti mates that he is out $1,000 on ice by thes withdrawal of customers. So it goes. A ramnAnr genius does not believe in writing a legible hand, because, he arguep, if themanupoript is legible it wil be put into the hands of the worst com. & tors, whereas if it be written indif. -^.W."y it will beyeut inf the best hands and the work well done. Me overlooks the probability of its going into the waste basket instead of the printer's hands. THE Old Fellow has come at last, sure enough. A Belgian, who landed at Cas.. tle Garden, a few days ago, has a pair of horns an Inch long protruding from his forehead. The doctors say they could not be cut away without great danger, as the incision would probably reach the brain. The fellow,% however, doesn't care, as he seems to be proud of his pe culiarity. NnMsmZN members of the New York Legislature have returned their free passes to Mr. Vanderbilt since the smash-up on the New York Central. It may be they were afraid to continue to ride on Mr. Vanderbilt's road, but then it may also be they got better " terms " over some other route. Politicians don't throw things over their shoulder for nothing-not as a rule. AxmnioA will lead in everything. The London World says a young American gentleman named Matthews, while gam bling at Monte Oarlo, cleared over 500, 000 francs during his stay of about a fortnight, 800,000 francs of which he won in three consecutive nights, his greatest loss in one night amounting to some 70,000 francs, which appeared to be a small matter to the intrepid player. AsHEicIsm is already going Into de cay, and there is following closely upon its heels, originating in England, of course, a docttine known as agnosticism, having for its followers chiefly scientists. The principal is defined thus : "An ag nostic is a man who does not know whether there is a God or not, whether he has a soul or not, whether there is a future life or not, doesn't believe that any one else knows any more about these matters than he does, and that It is a waste of time to find out." Ta- inventive genius of this nation is prolific in new discoveries, yet but a small percentage of the patents issued have any practical value. Prof. Brown, special census agent, says that 5,585 patents have been issued on plows in this country. On harrows and diggers 1,746 have been granted; on harvesters, 4#5, of which about 400 are on self binders; on threslhing machines the niumber is 1,922. Yet of this vast num ber how few are in common use and how small a percentage have ever re turned their inventors any'profit. A .sommTIsT having discovered that the bite of a mosquito injects Into the system an antodote to malaria, has pur sued his investigation further by taking up the bedbug. He gi"'es as a result of his analysis that the bedbug bite acts as an antidote against rheumatism, neiutral izing whatever there may be of calomol or mercury in the system by injecting a rich fluid which has been distilled in the retorts of the bug's body. This may be the reason persons who live in boarding houses are not generally rheumatically afflicted. WEs REPRODUOE the following from the Detroit Free Pr'ess without comment : " A Boston correspond~ent writes : 'COan you give me any reason why General Grant should be put on the retired list at $12,000 per year, while the widow of the brave General Custer, who lost his ife in the country's service, roceives only $30 per month ?' We regret to say that we cannot oblige our correspondent with any reason. We would very cheer fully if we could Jay our hands on one ; but after diligent .soarch and patient in quiry, we have be en driven to the con cluisior. that there is hone.". TitE Toronto Gt;bc relates the follow. Ing : " A well-known Canadian lumber nian, in making his way from Midland Harbor, Lake Huron, to the mouth of the Muskoka River, preceded his team sters to sound the Ice. *etting beyond thme Islands along the east coast of the Georgian Bay, he found hisaself exposed to the full force of a northeasterly gale. Hewas thrown down and blown toward Collingweed. Nohig would step hist; sometimes en his knees, sometimes on his baek, sometimes on his side, he was driven along with fearful speed toward the open water, as he supposed. For twive miles he rolled, tumbled and slid, helpless, till he was driven against a small island and his life was saved. Be has scarcely smiled sine. * Th3 attempt to assassinate Queen Vic. tori., as she was entering her carriage at Windsor on the 2d of Marchi, by aoderick Itaseam Is the sixth attempt that has Amksd on her life, althoirgh abe~hs auolh cs been oea Qs * b %nudbe asssinn wen aasn 8o, by John Fmne, wVP was . for life. July8, 14, a huehbaeka maed Deanz attepted to Shot the Queen but the platol nsd Us and was found at. terwards to be loaded with powder, paper and a qiay pipa. Dean was sen. tenoed to eigbteen months ImprIson. ment. A few years ago a half crasy young Irlsaman painted an unloaded pistol at Her Majesty, for which he ws " whipped." No political signffiance is attached to the attempt of a few days o ago. _ _ _ A nArost novel in its ature has occurred at Newark, Ohio, between Professor . 0. Hartater, Superintendent of the public schools, and Rev. Adam Pfenger, a Lutheran mainister. The subject was " Resolved, that the earth a has no motion, and is the center of crea tion," the minister taking the affirma- I tive and backing his argument by quota tions from Scripture and an unlimited faith in the doctrines taught by the "I. spired" writers. '"Johua commanded the sun to stand still or God permitted a lie to be handed down from generation to generation." In Isaiah it is said that "the sun turned backward," and God's reputation for truaafulness is at stake when it comes to doubting and denying His revegded word. The minis ter denounced astronomers as wholesale i deceivers. He also claimed that if the I sarth had the motions attributed to it < by science, the Gulf stream would flow in opposite directions, and the atmos phere would sweep everything from the face of the globe. Professor Hartzler, in reply, accompanied his argument by black-board illustrations, and a corre. spondent states that although he han dled his subject in a masterly way, the majority of the audience, which was large, pinned their faith to Pfenger and the Scripture. The Humdilation of Servility. As living becomes more elaborate ad wealth commoner, the unreliabilityt o1 the household service grows more and more exasperating. In the one kind of servlr'c which is ossential to the comfort anud health of a family, it is mere ques tion of luck whether an employer will got anything like the worth of hi. moneybr not. Ir -every other kind of hired labor there: are well understood standards of unpability by which the question of wages is decided. A priuter is paid only for what he does. An op erative in a factory has his work criti cised and his mistakes reckoned up against him. In housework, however, this is unheard of. The tidy, industrious girl who earns every cent of her mon is followed by Dinah and flth, ani Bridget and destruction, who must be paid just the same price. As for the skilled labor that can always be had for money in any other line of work, it ihs simiply not in the market. In this rnat ter rich and poor stand on the same level. Anman may, by a year of hard work, get a fine house in which to put a wife but he has no security that in it she will1 be any better waited on or less careworn than she was in the house they rented for six dollars a month. Architects and builderi do all they can to make the modern house comfortable. Even plumbers may be bought with a price but when the work is all done, who wili guarantee that thie first "help" will not lay the kitchen desolate and make of the back yard a waste place ? But while this is true, there are hun dreds of women in the city begging for work of a kind which tiey consider genteel. An advertisement for a copyist brings answers from hundreds of women. Every month scores of experienced, capable young women apply at the sh op for positions as saleswomen, at ,merey nominal wages, and every pplar dress maker has on her books fty or sevent five names ahead of seamstresses, who will take wvork at any price. Every lady of infiuence has in her acquaintance a dozen women who hover on the edge of destitution, almost crazy from their own helplessness. It seems strange that the one work in which every girl has a little training and for which she may be considered to hv an aptitude, is the one thing which she wou ld never consent to do ; and the question arises whether there is any thing really degrading in kitchen work, or anything disreputable in the circum stances of it which should make it an unfit business for bright, industrious girls who mnusj support themselves. Surely there can' be nothing lowering in cooking and house work. Any of these young women will look forward with pleasure to doing it in her own house. T1he most elegant wvomen~ must needsI haea ractical knowledge of it, or their estab ' luents will never run smowothly. PlaceG on Approval. A stranger enters the store of an oblig ing grocer: stranger--" Owing tp the extortions of the gas .ompan'les l'have about deter mined to light my premises with candles, only, you see, I am at a loss to decide what sort to select. I want something really good, you know" Grocer-" Certainly, sir ! Step this way a moment, sir You can see for yourself, sir I" (ights fifteen different sorts of candles and placoes them on the eounter.) Stranger (after having walked up and down before them for five minutes, with his chin in his hand, immersed in deep reflection)-" Well, I guess on the whole I prefer gas I Good afternoon I" (Exit hurriedly Grocer Hurling a bar of soap citer --Detroit 19e Pres. Waw is that which has three feet but no legs, Is all body but no limbs, has no toes on the feet, no head, moves a great deal but n~ver uses its feet for that ixi~ie0417; never walks l * I~ have eene to me . p"a' W asia' me to annne n itl~j a )8_40~A of amuse =r f~a r~r, us the WgI were tWinped up. ".ibery onco ia wh~e dar' am a yel fur reform, an artin men an' women weep an' wail >ber do oral wickedness of de world. De cauoh pitohes into de theater do payor-mweetin' whacks away at daucim, t Ma' de Sunay school-teacher tells do r etle boys dat do circus am nex'doah to rdishun. It has bin my opinyu fur ke las' fifty 'ars dat dis was a wicked world. t was created fur a wicked world. Do Lawd wanted it dat wa7, an' le made it to please Hisself. De crip-L re state dat wickedness shall abound n obory co'ner of de land; dat men ihall murder an' rob an' womien go stray; dat chill'en &hall deny deir par mts an' brudder turn agin brudder. AU Ulh A am predicted an' to be'spected a' lood ft an' nobod hats any rrounds to howlan' weep. If dis war 'a ood world we should have no need of >reachers, deacons au' Sunday-school eachers. Preachers will tell you dat nan am imperfect, an' dat do Lawd nade him to go astray, an' yet dey will urn aroun' an' wonder dat he am not goodness biled down. "Deed, gem'len, but do onl better world dan dis am hoaben it& if. You mave gt to hunt fur wickedness to flu' t. You have got to prejudge de caso if ron can make wickedness out of de jokes > a circus clown or de plot of de ordi iary drama. If I had to praise God hv indin' fault wid do w(.rld He nide ani' le people He put yore, I'm afraid it ould be faint praise. Do preacher who an't go to do theater widout fetelin' wicked had better stay away. If he asn't on de hunt to fin' wickedness lie wouldn't see it any mo' dan do rest of us. Kie an' do ole woman kin go out an' lance Virginy reel fur fo' hours an' cum ' t iome wid ola'r consciences fur family rayers. We kin set down to keerds an' iot forgit to be honest an' charit able atn' orgivin'. We kin go to a circus an' some home an' fank God dat our lives iave bin spar'd anoder day, an' dRt we un still left to comfort do sick an' for give do errin'. If gwine to sich places nakes a preacher feel dat Satxu has got a mortgage on him den he'd better stay home. "No man airnest in do good cause wants to fight agin human natur'. Man am a social bein'. He likes to be pleased Ra' amoosed. Make a tombstone of him ma he'll soon hato hisself. When I sco a man who claims to be too good to watch a circus purceshun pass 'long the street I neber work for him widout do cash in advance. When I flu' a man who am down on amoosements I doan' work fur him at all. A y'ar ago, when mean' de ole woman was joggin'obertu do Aircus we met a man who said we war gwine straight to Texas. He said lie would zooner see his son in his coflin ian in a circus, and he scart de ole lady o t to dcath. I kept track of dat tomnbstone, an' in less dan six months le left town widout payin' his gas bill, vater tax, butcher or grocer, an' he am 2o exception in his class. Look out for tolum-faced men. Bewar' of do men w'ho weep ober de wickedness of a world nade so by do Lawd fur reasons of His >wnI. Have no truck wid men who neb >er laff. A man widout faults am a nanI widout reason. A man widout rickeduess am a man widout atrgymnent." -Detroit Free .Press. Single Women. A clever old maid once said that it was far better to be laughed at becauseo you were not married than not to be able1 to laugh because you were. There is sound logic in that. It is well for woman to marry if she mieets a good, true man who loves her and whom she loves ; but if she be not suited, better, far better, that she remain single. The majority of old maridis are helpful, lova. ble and sweet-tempered, and fill their allotted niche as acceptably as do their married sisters. Are they not more to be honored than they wvould have been had they married merely for a home or position ? Our young ladies have erron- < eons ideas upon this subject. Thley fqeli almost disgraced if they have to arrive at a mature age, and are not yet able to write Mrs. before their ntames. Their whole ambition is to get a husband, by hook or by crook, but get him somehow they must. Consequently they take the first man who offers himself, whether he really suits them or not. Now, gidls, do not marry in haste. Get the hest education possible, help about domestic affairs, and enter upon sonic trado or profession for which you have a tasto and master it. Skilled labor in always well paid. Do'nt spend your tine 1'e pinmg because you cannot seo the comn mng man. If you never see him, you can live useful,h happy liyes. You think mf you had a husband you would havo 21 strong arm on which to lean, a sharer of sorrow and trouble, Alas ! many a slender woman has hadg not only to stand alond, but also serve as prop for children and husband, and very few wives find in their husbands allH the sympathy and companionship they de sire. If you are good for anything you will not be hurt by remaining singlo, neither will you be elevated b~y becom ing " Johnsa wife." Do your duty in life and you will count for one in the world, whether married or single. A pples as Food. An exchange states the benefits of apples to be as follows: "A raw, mel low apple is digested in an hour and a half, while boiled cabbage requires five hours. The most healthy dessert that can be laced on a tableo is a baked apple. If eaten frequently at breakfast with coarse broad and butter, without meat or flesh of any kind, it has an ad mirable effect upok the general system, often removing constipation, correcting acidities and cooling off febrile conditions more effectually than the most alproved medicines. It families coild be mnduced to substitute them for pies, cakes and sweetmeats, with which their children are fr nenty stuffed, there would be a Mminnin the total snurof doctorti bil inslgleu srufficient to lay in a e"msa',s ____s________"__ t~ingut b 01wlwh b. Romance of O'Donovan fi Uentral Asia. When the Russians under Gederal kobeleff started on their expedition ainst the Turkomans at Geok Tepe, PDonovan, of the London Daily .News, pplied for permission to accompany hem, but was refused. Upon receiving ioneral Skobeleff's final answer, the de Yrmined correspondent telegraphed his ianks for the courteous wording of the efusal, and finished his message with lie signifleant words, " Au revoir, loneral, a Merv." "Till we meet gain, General, at Merv." O'Donovan then started upon his jour ey. Ho reached the northwestern 'oundary of Persia, and succeeded in afely crossing the frontier, riding 120 ailes in twenty-four hours. Luck, in ddition to his native shrewdness, fa ored him, and ho reached Merv in afel.y, though a prisoner, and suspected 'f being a Russian. As best he could e informed his captors of his English itionality, and lie wit and manners so ileacsed the Turkomans that he was kept a a sort of honorable confinement until is statement could be confirmed. Sat sfactory information concerning him ras at list received from Teherao, and .e was released. O'Donovan's wonderful stores of in armation, and his statements concern 'ig the alniost boundless extent of tho anglish Empire, caused the Turkomans a look upon him as a man of much im lortance, and he was cnlled upon to set [e a long-Standing disputO as to the chief Ieeulive power. There are two proper Lolders of that power-the She1k of the lastern Turkonans and the Sheik of the Vostern Turkomans. It appears that it ras necessary for tho highest dignitary r dignitaries of the Turkonans to un ortako a perilous mission to Teheran. t was considered probable that whoever rent would lose his head, and to avoid his risk the two cluieftainrs conferred the ionor upon the eldest of their class. fuch to their surprise, ho returned uive, and was allowed to retain his dig lity until the arrival of O'Donovanl, Viloso abiuidanee of wealth, it is sup )osedl, induced the Eastern and Western -hiefs to determine to reassert their ,laims, lest he whom they had elevated ,o the highest position should monopo. ize the gifts of the illustrious foreigner. N. great council was held, the old chief 10pose1, the two restored to their origi 1a1 positiois, and O'Donovan elected Ichtiar Bahadoor Khan of the Tokko rikonians, and joined the other two chiefs in forliiug a triumvirato, ruling over the district of Merv, with a popula tion of 5010,000 souls. O'Donovan was installe-d in his hon arable position with imposing ceromo Ilies, and given a " palace," for that re gioni, to live in. His official duties while ibiding in Mery consisted mainly in dis pensing justico, chiefly in cases of inur ior an(I robbery, they being the only rims recognized. A f ter six months O 'Donovan wo ried >f his life at Merv, and wt.ishing to r'e .urn to civilizatin, expressed a de Jire to be sent as embas;alor plenipo.. entiary of t he TekIo TrLkomjans to ,bo European couirtsq. A great council ,vas held to conIsidfr the sulbjec't. O'Don >van having arrived at Merv inst at the noment the onward muarch of the Ruhs. ians had been arrestedl, and the Tarko nians associating that (event with his aip >eaganic, looked up)on him as their de iverer, and his prosencfce as a sure pro ect ion i'giunst the ir hereditary eunmies. F'or this reason the'y were mi iwilling to >arlt with huimi, bult at last c'onsenlted on1 he promise that lie wvonhl onue day re urn to thim. Hie replied, "' I will re urn when I amn sentI back to y ou." It equires miore than a surgical operat'on ~O (nah!O the~ Tukmn to see through joke', and the humixor of O'D~onovani's uIswer not bieint.g app)recia~ted, lie was~ :rmitted to (depar I, aoni waSs econmpan ed to the Persian frontkir bly a body of Purkomnl troops.-Cincinnedi Comme'nr :ial. Uncle Mose' owns several small shan Ies on Gatlveston aIvenuo, which lie routs mit, but one of t he tenants is rallier slow n coming up with the rent, so Old Mfose dto make himi a pastoral visit. JIust s he wals comning aIway from the house, Dild M\ose met dJima Webster. "'Jim," said~ the old man, " which ami io fast1'st trabbhie you ebor hioord tell ibouit ?" "Doy say dat de ray (of light trabbles mior'e den 200,000 miles a se!cond, bult I. ne1 hhoir timecd it miyself," replied Jimm. ''lar's a man in (Lidveston what can gib de ray (ob light Iifty yards star. aind beat it wiust kind." "(G'way, olo raan. Lyina' is hotchin, "Hit amn j2ss so as I tolo yer. (abo Snlo(grass, whalit owes$ me fimnr mnumi's back renrt, ean ouittrabblo do light." "'I weunt to do front dbeah, and jess as his w'ife opene~d dot froat ooh .1 seed [.hhl silid e (lit de back d' ahR. 'Is Gab1o it 1home1 y' says I. ' io's done gone to Houist('n,' e;.ys she. flit am fifty miles to 1Houiston and bie must hab mado do trip whilI was a-1ook in' at him slido nit do back (ball. Jess fetch oni yer ray ob~ light, anld cf it don't hab tohump bi'tsely to catcup wP~id Gaboe Sniodgrass when .1(IlIcmS for doc back rent, den Ise . Philosophers and Poets. The St. Louis (Globe-Dcmocra4 has a long article in a late issue, the gist of which is that women had better marry philosophers than poets, as their ohances f conjugal happiness are greater. The reason of this is that the former, living in a world of logio and.fact, allowa bis ideality to develop ona his wife, while the poet, on the contrary, dwell ing in a region of sentiment and exalted l'miiy, is horrified to finmd the oreature 'me had married with the Idea that she was an angel, to be only flesh aud blood af ter all. The oonseguence is that tha wives of the philosophiere, though they may be oommoin-place women like Dr. John on's ife, are loved while living, and dpymound when dead. The wifes otpo on the othier fhand, no ter how lovely ci! lovq*I,1, are gal to their hu a~ fedtIon, 1A youroo14 be ion t hn AB laa0g aein, fai ap psed with p iranoe for inally had to window to'' MRS. HAan1 t very Inartistic te traliht. Doesx )n W ose mocks it A Noanau n hief is simply a stake grave and a sig re .)eeu cheaper for him A yoUno mn1 has winning cards in-. popping the question,-,' I his sweetheart's Journal. B.RWTmnme (who has et sweeer)': "ILuk at 1oW Wid the long how they plays on th Boston 2an8cript. AN nXCHANoi says:"f rcoeive the title of 'Dr. physician have the title Because pe may think it Rovel.tions, and doators know a deal. S.kw little Edith to her doll: Thi' k don't answer me back. You mustWk; saucy, no matter how hateful I 9. your mother!" Strange ta ideas children get into their heads times. "WHAT pretty children and how fitt they look alike," says , durin AC, visit at a friend's house. 11a% J46 twins," his friend explains. both of 'em?" exclained 0, terested. THir.nE is a knooh at the 66on and the colored person says to the lad of the house: "a you do white ooman what told a colored gemman you tse lookin' for a colored lady to wash your clothes by the mumf ?" "YES," said the tramp, "they ta about the charitable institutions o3 01 ton. Now, a man can go down, to the Hawkins Street Home and get a supper and lodging, and ho's got to sas a foot of wood to pay for It. By snakes, siir, I don't call that charity."-Boeldn A n~rw author, 'who intends to make a living by good advid, says. "N'ever leave what you undertake untdi you can reach your arms~ around it and alinch yourhands : on the other side." Perseverance, and all that sort of thing, i the right. direc tion, is well enough, and even commend able; but if the nlOW author'sa vice is A caried out, one is likely to get- 'i ears boxed.-Neu' Orleane Plea~yuno,. A (ICeIOo young man brokb into the r'oom of the girl he loved, to carry)e r.way, as she reinsed to marry I 4j. She was absent, but left the bull (seeUo herW bed. T~he room was dq~k The (log didn't bark, but worked.An abo)ut svenI inutes the semains of tai youlngruman camne out and si ht wouhhn't marry tliat girl for $7eJ,000.~ A Sea Waif. A very curious anecdote j is told con corring Admiral Bythesea, V.O.,. Q, who retired from the service, after hay ing for many years filled the post of Ck'z salting Naval Officerto the Gov'e-:nmnt ofLL Inia. It is stated it.. the Ad ~fal was pike up, when an infant, far 'out at ea, JLshed to a bale of gpods. 4' I y- -presurmbly his miother--waadth hiu, but she was dead, and there wsno e vuiece of any kind by which the wame of the waifs could be traced1. The 6.il. cers of the man-of-war which pidkedlup the poor little infant did all the' oohld by advertisement and ihaquiryA wAis--~ cover his relatives, and, findingell 4)efr attempts futile, they determmnd to a1dopt the child, to which they gave the natuwI of " By the Sea." He was set to - af naval school, and, when old enon~h,4 d te navy. 'By a happxy cosect etuothe first ship in which nie served was the one which had saved his life as an infant. He took to his prfesion, awl( during the Crinean war distin guihed huimself at the Islanidof Wardo, where ho earned the Victoria Cross nd the decoration of U. B. Later~ on~ his, services in India gave him the Op - ionshi~p of the Order of the IndianE pire, aind he retired from the service with the rank of Admiral-a consumma tion little dreamed of by the kind-heart, 1. othecers who rescued and. edndated An Ingeniens Swindle. A pair of swindlers played oft in Paris * the following ingenious 4k: A well dlressed~ man entered a tob oosh on tho Boulevard Bon ou velle after purchasing three cigars gave-a Are franc gold piece mn payment ; but after receiving his change he delx~ltit was a twenty-franc piecewib eM given, and on the woman wh ad ser ved him asserting the contraryhe lk added that it was a .iee o the reign of Louis hlI.e bearing the date o~f '1$40;7k shopkeeper then looke4 mont4o inhrtland findine a g17O~~ a14 describe~d puppoisd e12 mistaken, and at one gave him~b forence. A police agent In plnphe hlappened however to be s~d~ and haiving his suspieiousecid.. - termined to follow the stranger.' p~resently saw the individual join man in the street, anti the two ea* gether to the Place do la Bourse, they separated, and the second l a tobacconist's, and after mnjlg purchase gave in payment tweonty-frano piece received at t shop. The confederate anhot4 went in, and was repeating h stratagem as befoto, when the Pc flcer *tepnedl foxward and arres Cousin Dick's )teply. The late Bishop Wimer, of (the Cousin Joe), a~ of Alabama (the Oil following anecdote),be gether, the latter was pointing ont to the tectural beautieb of~ Louisiana reverenoe tested, " It's allver hnt, naverthalamada