The Pickens sentinel. (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, March 10, 1881, Image 1
DEVOTID TO POLITI0S, MORALITY, EDUCATION AND TO TIE SINUBAL INTUEST @F TUE UOUITY.
By D. F. BRADLEY & 00. PICKENS, S. C., THURSDAY, MARCH 10, 1881. VOL. X. NO. 26.
The Elder Booth.
Botth, the elder, knew his characters
by intuition; he could assume or doff
them instantaneously at will. One
night, in the Charleston Theater, while
playing in the " Iron Chest," he stood
at te " wing" with Jefferson. The lat
ter was playing Sampson, and Booth,
of course, his great part of Sir Ed
ward. While they were thus standing,
Booth, who was waiting for his "cue,"
said to Jefferson:
"By the way, Joseph, I notice that
Xou don't'sing the song in this part of
. ampson. Why don't you do it
in the way your grandfather used to (1o?"
"Well, Mr. Booth," replied the
young man, "I think it must be for
the reason that I don't know how. I
never knew there was a song sung in the
part."
9 "Oh, yes," replied Booth, at once as
suming the air and facial expression of a
comedian, " your grandfather used to do
it ca itally. This is the way the song
ran -and Booth went on with a won
derfully droll expression on his face, and
sang a ditty begining:
A trave!er stopped at the widow's gate.
Suddenly, and while he was in the
midst of this performance, the "cue'
Was given for his appearance on the
stage. in an instant he dropped the
comedy part which he had for the mo
'ment assumed, rushed before the foot
lights, had his great scene with Wilfred,
and, coming off again, met Jefferson and
at once resumed the expression of Samp
son with all naturalness, and with
out a thought of affectation, went on to
describe how the young man's grand
father sang the comic song : " A trav
eler stopped at the widow's gate."
The elder Booth's memory was quite
as remarkable as were some of his other
characteristics. During hisengagement
with Jefferson he and the company went
from Charleston to Augusta, a trip
which Booth had not made for many
years. Yet, at every station at which he
stopped lie stopped lie was able notonly
*to recall the names of the principal
planters who had formerly lived there
but with t)e utmost exactness told the
number of bales of cotton they had made
in a certai year, the number of slaves
they had owned and other details of the
same ninute character.
During this engagement Mr. Jefferson
played continuously with Booth, assum
mIg such parts as Sampson, the
Grave Digger, in " Hamlet, ' and the
Lord Mayor, in "Richard III"
which latter part for some hiddenreason
is always thrown to the lot of the come
dian. His impressions of Booth and
MNacready are that the one was in every
:eense a born actor, while the latter was
tie greatest example of what can be ac
comlished by close application, keen
tchiigeneo and untiring study. The
hlt ter won, according to Mr. Jef'erson's
viows, by art ; Booth succeeded by nat
iral intinet. No man, according to
Mr. Jeffernon, has ever appeared upon
iho stage who throw more intensity,
soil airi passion into his performance
than did Booth when he was at his best.
Cracking Wheat heto Flour.
Minnesota millers no longer "grind"
wheat into flour. They "crack" it, and
the people of the Northwevst claim that
the new process makes their hitherto in
kerior wheat the most valuab~le in the
'world. Burr stones are thingys of the
)past and Hungarian steel rollers have
'taken their place. These rollers are
about thirty inches long and eight inches
in diameter, it takes five sets of steel
rollers to finish the flour. Eiach set of
rollers run closer than the preceding.
After the 'wheat passes each Bet of rollers
it is bolted or sifted through course cloth.
'This cloth lets the disintergrated par
ticles of wheat through and passes off
the bulky and larger pieces, which are
run through another and a closer set
of rollers and cracked again. The last
rollers have little else but wheat hulls
and waxy germs of wheat, which do not
crack up, but smash down like a piece
,.of wax. The germ of a kernel of wheat
is not good food. It makes flour black.
By the old millstone process this waxy
germ was ground up with the starchy
ortion and bolted through with the
,our. By the new system of cracking'
the kernel instead of grinding it this
germ is not ground, but flattened out
and sifted or bolted out, while the starchy
portions of the wheat are crushed into
y powdered wheat or flour. All the big
mills of Minneapolis now manufacture by
the new process.
i1 Giving Uip Their Dead.
An interesting and important point
concerning the finding bodies of drowned.
persons in the Mississippi river is made
'by Deputy Coroner Preadlow, of St.
Louis, who has been engaged in secur
ing and caring for these bodies for near
b ly twenty years. April is the great
month for the finding of bodies inl the
river. Then is the time when what they
term the five and six monthers are found.
'Bodies that have been at the bottom of
the river all winter always rise in April.
In fact, all the cases of drowning in the
wvinter are surely heard of in April, if
ever. Most cases of drowning, the fig
uires prove, take place in August.
Then, the water being warm, the
body rises to the surface within
forty-eight hours after its disappear
anlce. In May, the body that goes
to the bottom is seldom heard of until
nine days have passed by. .The temper
ature of the water governs the time. So
long as the water is cold the body is pre
merved. As soon as the 'water commences
to ohange from cold to warm the tissues
expand and soften, and the body be
comes filled like a sponge with water.
This equivalent weight makes the body;
weigh less than the water and it rises to
the surfae
A BAC0RELOR98 SIGHES.
A life misspent, an inoompleted mission,
A house all void of merry laugh
Pertain unto that fractional condition
Of man without a better half.
No one to cheer him in this world's unrest,
And soothe a debt-benuddled brain;
No love with fertile fancy to suggest
Some way to " raise the wind" again.
No one to laugh with him when all is bright,
Nor weep when Joys seem over gone
Alas I no ungers, deft and white,
To sew a nissing button on.
No pure-white brow no love-lit eyes of blue,
No trosses moved by summer breeze;
Ah me I no dewy lips of rosy hue,
No ling'ring, soft., white hand to squeeze.
No sympathetio hope of morn of life,
Nor memory when he Is old
So sad the thought! no meek and gentle wife
To sneer at when the coffee's cold.
And duties over, when the long day dies,
No need of ggntle wifely tones,
No one to aiak with glad, expecting eyes,
" Dear, did you get the best of Jones ?"
0! earthly joys and pleasures he is bare,
lie has no hope of heaven withal;
No school for Christian resignation where
He never heare a baby squall.
A PECULIAR WOMAN,
"Ketch hold, TQm. There ! I declare
if you ain't spilled about a quart! I
knew you would get it too full."
" I didn't spill more than ten drops,
Cousin Silence. How you worry over
the loss of a little grease."
"It's one of my principles to save, as
you might a'learned long ago."
" I believe in prudence; but what's a
few drops of lard more or less on this
farm, and nobody knows how much in
bank? You skimp and screw as if you
think there were danger of your getting
oil the town."
"Well, you are the frankest young
man I ever saw," and Silence Withers
put her arms akimbo and gazed at her
young cousin, Tom Lowey, as if lie
was a curiosity escaped from some mu
seum.
" Yes; I was always noted for my
frankness," said Tom, coolly, "and I
never hesitate to speak my mind when
duty urges. However, I don't want to
hurt your feelings, Cousin Silence."
"No danger,' said Miss Silence, with
a laugh of derision. " I am no spring
chicken, an' my feelin's have grown
tough. But the idea of your duty urgin'
you to speak your mind to me ! Perhaps
you don't recollect the whippin's I used
to give you."
" I haven't forgotten," laughed Tom.
" You used to make me do my duty in
those days. But I wish I could convince
you that it would be only a Christian act
for you to send a little help to Mrs. Bald
win. You wouldn't feel the spending of
$50 out of your $50,000."
" Massy sakes I It seems as if other
folks know more about my business than
I do myself. Fifty thousand I Law I
Who said I was worth that much ?"
" Oh, it's common talk," replied Tom.
"Well, it won't do you any good to
talk. You'll never see the color of my
money after I'm dead and gone. I've
made my will ; and, since plain speak
in' pleases 4'ou, I'll make free to
say you ain t, mentioned in it. So,
there !"
"I calculate to take care of myself,"
said Tom, tilting the chair against thei
wall. "Leave your money wherever
you choose ; I don't want, it. h
" The day may come when you will
want it, Tom Lowey, and then you'll be
sorry for sayin' them words. I'll re
member 'em ; so will you when your
pride has its fall. There's plenty of
things I can leave my money to; it won't
go begging."
" I guess not."
"You'd more'n guess if you were to
live here a spoil and see the stream of
visitors I have. There ain't a day but I
get nagged ab~out my money by some
body. Deacon B3onney thinks it's his
bounden duty to advise me to leave it to
found an orphans' home. Old Mr.
Craig wants it left to Wolfboro Acad
emfy ; 'Squire Darby has his mind on it
for a public library, and the minister
thinks I ought to remember what a
debt's on the church. To hear 'em talk
ou'd think I had one foot in the grave.
Idon't give none o''em any satisfaction,
and then they say I'm peculiar. Well'
perhaps I am'; but I don't see no possi'.
bility of any change in my natur'."
Tom laughed. He was spending a
couple of hours at the farm, which had
been is only home until bo began to
" scratch for himself," to use his gant
cousin's expression. Now he necver left
more than a day or two pass without
looking in on the lone spinster to see if
lie could give her any help, and to-day
l'c was makimg himself useful in lifting
jars and boilers of hot grease oni and off
the stove, for Miss Silence was trying
out lard.
Tom's law practice, as y4bt, was not
very exacting, much to his regret ; and
lie had more time on his hand~s than
pleased him.
"Bnt, now, do promise you'll send
Mrs Baldwin something for Christmas,
Cousin Silence," said Tom, returning to>
the attack.
" I never promise what .[ don't mean
to p~erform,' was the characteristic an
swer he received to his pleading. "Mar
tha Baldwin and me ain't been on speak
in' terms for these 'five years, and l'd be
makin' myself pretty small to) send( her
Christmas presents. I'd soon be on the
town if I began to help all the poor folk
you know, it 'pears to me you takre a
mighty dee p interest in them Baldwins,
Tom. Melissa Bonney let out a hint
that you was a sparkin' that Prissy Car..
roll."
" I wish Melissa Bonney would mind
her ow~n business."
" Don't get riled. I dare say it's true.
'T would be like you to court a gal with
out a penny, because you've not a pen
niy yourself. Prissy Carroll's boon raised
out of charity by hea aunt."
"That don't make her less lovable,
Cousin Silence."
" Now, Tom Lowey," said Miss Si
lence, brandishing the big iron spoon
with which she stirred the lard, " dou't
make a fool of yourself over a pretty
face. Butter your bread before you eat
it. There's Melissa Bonney, whose
father's worth-"
" That's enough," interrupted Tom,
and, before Miss Silence coud stop him,
he wias out of the kitchen door and
walked briskly down to the gate.
" Law sakes I what peculiar creatures
men are ! Talk of bein' peculiar ; why,
J ain't a circumstance to that Tom
Lowey. He'll marry that Prissy Car
roll now, if it's only to show me lie
didn't care for my money." And
with a sigh, Miss Silence went back to
her lard.
"e Christmas gift, indeed I" she mut
tered, after standing for some time in
deep thought; "I think I see myself
eating humble pie to Martha Baldwin."
But, somehow or other, her conscience
did not feel quite so easy as it had felt
before Tom's call.
An hour later Tom was sitting in the
Widow Baldwin's small nTterlor. vith his
arm around a very trim waist, and a ver7
lovely golden head resting on his
shoulder. It was very evident that the
closest economy was necessary with the
Baldwins, for the carpet was patched
and worn, and the muslin curtains
washcd threadbare, and the furniture
in saa neea or varmisn and new hair
cloth.
" I wish I saw my way clear to take
you out of this, Prissy," said Tom, with
a sigh, " but clients are scarce enough
in Wolf boro."
" Now, Tom, where's the need to
worry ? I couldn't leave Aunt Martha,
an.y way. We are both young enough to
wait."
" You're too good for this world,
Prissy," said Tom, with a kiss on the
dinled white chin.
" There's some one knocking ; lot me
go," cried Prissy, springing up and run
ning to the door.
It was no visitor, but the hired man
from Miss Silence's farm, with the spring
wagon, which he had brought to convey
Tom to his cousin's home, for Miss Si
lence had, not ten minutes after his de
parture. ain hour previous, overturned a
kettle of lard by accident, and been ter
ribly scalded.
" Where's my hat ?" cried Tom, in
great excitement, while the man was
telling how lie had wasted timo by go
ing to the office first, and, not-finding
him there, had hunted him up.
" Let me go with you, Tom; I know
I can help," cried Prissy, as her lover
was springing into the i It wagon.
"Oh, Prissy', if you only would."
" Wait until I get my bonnet and
shawl and tell Aunt Martha. I won't
be gone a minute," and Prissy rushed
into the kitchen, where her aunt was
ironing.
" Go, by all means," said Mrs. Bald.
wiu, when she had grasped the meaning
of the girl's incoherent explanation.
"Stay as long as you are needed, and
don't worry about me.".
Miss Silence made no remark when
Prissy entered her room with Tomn. She
was in great pain, and was thankful to
see even this member of the hated Bald
win family.
For three weeks Prissy was chief di
rector at the farm, and managed so elev
erly that Miss Silence had nio chance to
find fault. But the grim spinster had no
word of commendation for the young
girl's untiring industry.
" I calkerlate to pay you for what you
have done," she said one day, as she
watched Prissy making bread. " You
needn't think you're workin' for noth
in'.
"I don't want any pay, Miss Silence,"
said Prissy, with trembling lips; "I am
only too glad to do what I can, be
cause-" She hesitated and turned
scarlet.
" Becauise you're in love with Tom,"
finished Miss Silence. "Oh, you ineedn't
blush; I know all about it, and, if lie
chooses to break his head agin a stone
wall, I ain't a-goin' to stop him."
At the end of three weeks Miss Silence
was able to be about again, and Prissy
wvent home, declining the $20 bill for
her services. But she had not been
gone three hours when the hired man
came from the farm, with two large
baskets, which he sat down on Mrs.
Baldwin's kitchen floor.
" Compliments of Miss Silence, and
she sent these in >lace of the money,"
and was driving of in the sp)ring wagoni
before Prissy could recover sufficiently
from her astonishment to ask him any
questions.
The baskets were full * f good things
of every sort, and th was a royal
Christmas dinner for the~ Baldwins the
next day, much to the joy of the chmil
dren, who had contemplated, ruefully,
daming on mush and potatoes.
Prissy sent a note or thanks to Miss
Silence by Tom, but she never received
an answer.
Time moved on, and Tom's law busi
ness improved so much that he persua
ded Prissy, ngainst her better judgment.
MissBilncedid not grace the impor
tant occasion with her presence.
" I've no time to be gallivanting off to
weddings," was her excuse, when Tom
reproached her for this slight.
"4She is such a peculiar woman, we
must not expect her to act like other
people ; but she has a good heart in
spite of her queer ways,"' said-Prissy,
wvhen Tom tried to make excuses for his
cousin's remissness.
" But her areatest penliarity lies in
her not liking you, Prissy," said Tom,
kissing his bride's soft chee . " And I
can't quite forgive her lack of taste."
All went well with the young couple
for more than a year. They began
honaakeening ini a moaae cotae aTo
was paying for by installments, and were
so pruAent that they managed to gather
about them many little comforts that
made their home pleasant.
But fortune seldom smiles long at a
time, as we all know, and reverses will
come to every one. One bitter night in
December Tom's house caught fire and
burned to the ground, nothing being
left except a few clothes Delongig to
Prissy and the baby.
Of course Mrs. Baldwin opened her
house to them at once, though it neces
sitated much crowdmg. rissy sug
gested an appeal to Miss Silence, but
Tom emphatically declined to make it.
He was far too proud to ask for the help
which he thought should have been
earnestly offered. His last books and
papers had all been destroyed in the
fire - for he had used a room in the cot
tage for an oflice, and getting a living
was rather up-hill work. Christmas was
dreary enough that year, and even Pris
sy's courage sank at the thought of the
future.
" Tom Lowey will have a chance to
show what kind of stuff lie's made of,"
said Miss Silence. " He burdened him
self with a wife and baby, and he'll have
to look out for 'em. I toldhim I'd never
give him a dollar of my money, and I'll
keep my word, no matter what hap
pens4."
Miss Silence had thought herself proof
against the weakness of falling ill; but
in March she caught a severe cold, and
pneumonia ensued. She felt she never
should get well again, and the doctor
told her frankly that in all probability
she would live but a few days.
" I want to see the lawyer at once, if
that is the case," she said. "I must
make a Jew will."
Mr. nimons, who had managed het
business for years, came as soon as he
received her message, and the will was
made. He hardly left the house befor<
Tom called.
" I'm worse," said Miss Silence, feeb.
ly, " but I'm not afraid to go. Per
haps I'm peculiar in that as in othei
tlngs. Deacon Bonney and the minis
ter, Mr. Craig and Mr. Darby have all
been here a urgin' of their severa
clauns. I told each o' 'em I'd consider
the matter."
"Will they be disappointed, Cousin
Silence ?" asked Tom.
Poor fellow ! lie was in such a sor<
strait that lie could not help a desiro t<
have some small help from his cousin's
hoard. He hardly dare hope she hai
left him a cent, and yet he was her only
relative.
" That remains to be seen," was the
unsatisfactory reply he received to his
question. "*But don't you cherish nc
hopes, for I 4in't left you a cent."
A bitter smile curled Tom's lips, but
he made no reply.
" I suppose you think me peculiar in
not leavin' you my money, seein' you
are the only kin I've got," went on Miss
Silence, " but you'vo taken such pre
cious caro to cofivince me that you don't
want it, that I've believed you and actod
accordin'."
Tom went home and repeated the con
versation to Prissy who shed a few tears,
but tried to cheer iier husband's droop
ing spirits with hopes of more law busi
ness in the spring.
That night Miss Silence died, and the
whole town turned out to her funeral a
few days later.
"I expect Wolfiboro Academy will find
itself able to erect a new building when
Miss Silencg's will is read," said old Mr.
Craig. "She's told me she'd consider
the matter, and I know she was im
pressed with my arguments."
" I rather th ink you are mistaken,"
said 'Squire Dab,"for I feel r'orally
certain she has lef her money to found
a library."
The minister, who stood near, smiled
to himself. He had not the slightest
dloubt that the debt which hung over his
chlurchi like a pall would now be lifted
through Miss Silence's will.
Tom (t not want to go to tnereannmg
of the important document, but Prissy
insisted, so they went together, though
neither of them looked very cheerful.
Mr. Simnons made no objection to the
presence of 'Squire Darby. Mr. Craig
and the minister chuckled as Deacon
1Donmey enteredl with a lelasanlt smnile
for Tom, wvho well knew what sarcastic
triumph lay beneath it,
The will was dated three days pre
vious, and every penny in the bank, and
the large farm were left unconditionally
to Pressy Lowey. Her husband's name
was not mentioned.
Toni's face was a Btudy, while Prissy
almost fainted from the sudldenl relief to
all her trouble.
The faces of the other men p resent
were studies, too. The deacon left the
house without a word, and the 'Squire
looked grimly at Mr. draig.
" She was a very, peculiar woman,"
said the minister, wiping his brow, on
which the beaded drops of perspiration
stood thickly. His anxiety about his
church had been very great, you see.
But Tonm and Prissy ,could afford to
forget thoir (lead cousin's peculiarities,
since she had kept her vow never to give
Tom a cent, and yet had managed1 te~
make him comfortable for life. Thlere
wars an immediate flitting to tho comfort
abale farmllouse,~ and Tiom furnished a
co fle in own and drove in every
morning in the spring wagon. Past
troubles and cares were forgotten, the
Baldwins were made more comfortable,
and, considering all things, Miss Si.
lence did more good with her money
than if she had left it to found a librar'3
or lif t a church debt.
Adulteratlons of Food.
The liberty guaranteed by this greai
Rlepublic is a fine subject for a Fourth ol
July oration, but when that libert3
licenses fraud, and permfits impositior
on the people, alike inijuriouis to healt}
and~ udangerousi to life, it reaches th<
precincts of abuse15, and( should receive
prompt and vigorous check.--Pori(
-A+eemanl.
SOUTHERN NEWS.
There is only one white woman in the
Alabama penitentiary.
It is said that Sabine Pas has been
deepened ten feet at an expense of $50,
000.
A vineyard in Live Oak county, Texas,
is said to have produced three crops of
grape.9 last year.
A single business house of Greensboro,
N. C., has bought 250,000 rabbit skins
this season.
S venty buildings were erected in
Raleigh, N. C., in 1880, of which one
was a church and sixty-three were dwell
ing houses.
Col. Thomas Rullin lis been appoint
ed Associate Justice of the Supreme
Court of North Carolina, vice John H1.
Dillard, resigned.
The Arkansas Htate Senate has Ipas:-ed
a bill appropriating $10,000 for a branch
normial college at Pine HInA for the eduI
cation of colored teachers.
The proposed amendment prohibiting
the sale of intoxicating liquors in West
Virginia has been indefinitely post poned
by the State Senate.
In G adsden, Ala.. the valiuc of ta x able
property hIs increase(l from $293,792 in
1879 to $414,200 in 188', and the city
tax at one-fourth of one per cent. from
$784 48 to $1,033 15.
The Swedenlborgianl Publication -
ciety has donated to the library of the
Georgia institution for the education of
the deaf and dub Swedenhorg's com
plete works. There aire no funds to re
plenish the librarv of this institutini
andl(] persons who can give books should
send them to Cave prings, G2a., or to
Gov. Colquitt.
The North Carolina Legilature has
pa!sed a 1ibill providing for the publica.
tion of a roll of the North Carolina
troops in the late war. Th'le duty (f
collecting the inme:4 has been delegltel
to Maj. Moore, the historian. Inl addi.
tion to this work he will add other facts
descriptive of the movements of eIchi
regiment during the war.
Montgomery Ad vertiser :C(onsidera
ble sensation was Cecited by the sudden
sinkimg of nearly 100 feet of the track of
the Montgomery and)(] Eufaula railway at
a point near the Ihnit of Union Springs
a1 day or two since. Those who visited
the spot speak of it as something of ai
phen'1omenon)1 in its wayv. It haid the ap
pe1aanCe of a d1epression causedl by an
eartioluake.
Memph11 s, Tlennelssee, 15is i bad way,
finlancial ly. Its ta xahlle property luas
dIecrealsed from $30,800,00 in 1866h toi
$13,900,000; there is $2,590,000 of back
taxes dule ; and the taix rate for the next
two yea rs, if the heal Ith iminprovements
are carried out, will he $8.95 on $100.
Theu pr1esenlt population of Memphuis is
331,593, and the total debt, $(;,000,000, is
$178 per capita, and~ 43 per cent. (on the
whole taxable proIperty.
The rapid1 developmlenit of thie butsinuess
of importing fruit to New Orleans, thle
Times of that city says, inas materially
interfered with and reduced the foreign
t rade of Ne w York, wh ich ci ty has here
tofore suppliedl the entire West withi
fran t. New O)rleans possesses exceptional
:adlvanitages as a (listrnibut ing poin t. I Ier
eli mate is favorabl1e. Fruit often rca ches
New York (during the winter frozen,, or
is ex~posed to seVere frosts oni landling.
Speaking of the( State' debt of Louis.
isania, the New Orleans D emocrat savs.
Unoder the provisionls oif the inew c fmstitu
tio th1 le dlebt, inaall conso1 '0101ilahted
h)olls are echanged for fou r per cetnt.
qOufirin the 'sinn of M55r,1I82 anunually for
initerest. Col lect ionis foir the inte~'reit
fund already amount to $355,225 88, or
more than enough to pay thle interest
for 1880) uip'n thue whiole~ amuniit of the
State dIebt refunded1 under the provisionsl
of the new conslti .ttion. '1 he suis,
$43 83, dlouhtless goes to the sutpport of
pilic schools.
It is qjuiestionled at Mobile whet her lhe
public property belonging to the defutit
city of Mobile, now in the batnds of the
Commissioners for the adjustment of the
debt of the late city, should not, uinder
the (decision of the 1iited States Su
prme CJourt, in the Mcmphis case, be0
turned over to the Comniissioners of the
port of Mobile for governmental
purposes. The ))nrt of Mobile has
not mney nough in its treas,
uiry to meet thle pay-roll of this
mon th. The port Comnmissioners have
1 aid to theC Mobile Comifjssioners irom
rentals af1nd market s ab out $8,70 per
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.
BoIL explosions are becoming s
iuinerous that vaccination appears neoes
sary to keep them from breaking out.
---Philadelphia Chronicle-Heefrald.
A CamAuo restaurant keeper adver
tises "roast turkey and cram berry saus,"
and yet a hungry man might go where
they spell better and fare worse.-Ne w
Orlean8 Picayune.
"iDosT love ine? TIel tue once again,
M 1y little pootsy tootal",
With love-lit eyes she sweet reples:
"Do I? You bet your bootal"
--fodern Ar go.
THE Cleveland Hcrald has published
sonie verses entitled: "Why do I sing ?"
and written by a young woman. It in
probably because her father paid five
hundred dollars to a music teacher for
spoiling a good stocking darner.
AT an undertakers' conference in New
York recently, one undertaker complained
that the sextons were getting "all the
cream of our business." What for Heav
en's sake, is "the cream" of the under
takers' business?
IN olden times, when people heard
Some mwiudler huge had come to grief,
TIoy t1med a good old ?Saxon word
And called that man a ", thief.'
Bit langiiingm stch as that to-day
I parx too inany ieelingm grates,
so leple amille and siinply say,
" He-' rr-h ypctheecttem0
Tim ian who journeyed long to )pt
1)on the grave of his enemy found tat
the said enemyws drowned in a lake
and his body not recovered. There are
lots of things in this world to make a
man mad.-Detroit Free Press.
TuH E Galveston Ne rs says a man in
that city who had a mule for sale, hear
ing that a friend in Houston wanted to
buy a niule, telegraphed to him: " Dear
Friend--If you are looking for a No. I
mule don't forget ine."
AN exuberant youth hails a supposed
ac(itintance with " Hello, Joe," but,
finding his mistake, adds: "' 0, excuse
me; I thought you were another man !"
Lacoei stranger answers: "I am."
BJPfidlo Express.
No Adolphus, newspaper men do not
have duplicates of the last straw that
broke the camel's lack. They are use
ful, as you say, but nonspaper men are
so accustomed to d-k--g the other
way, they don't care a straw about
them!
A mNis-rEn overtook a Quaker lady
and politely assisted her in opening 'a
gate. As sIe was a compartive stranger
iml town, lie said: "You don't know,
perhaps, that, I am Mr. -. Haven't
you heard me preach?" "1I have heard
you try," was the quick rejoinder.
"As for me," says Mine. Z., whose
husband is a member of the Assembly,
"I always do my shopping when the
Senate is discussing the appropriation
bills. 'Tlhen, you see, my husband is ac
customed to such large figures that my
bills look small to him. "-Prenihpupcr.
Tis is the particular time of the year
when the citizen is attacked with a se
vore case of economy, and immediately
cuits off' his entire list of newspapers.
lhero is one paper lhe doeS nlot relin
qluish, however, it is his paper of to
bacco.--Rockland (Couricir.
THlE man whiO works in a factory, his
pay (lay comes once a month; but the
man who works at ditching 1has his spado
dlay oftener than that. -Marathon indek
penldent. Hoe! lHoe! Fork conscience
sake shove 'long this pun, and don't liar
rowv up our feelings in thiis way.
A YANKEE tobacco chewer was in the
habit of declaring about once a month
that he would "never chew another
piece," but broke his plhedge as often as
lie made it. On one occasion, shortly
after he had "broken off," he was seen
taking another chew, " Why," said his
f-iend, "' you told me you had giveai upl
that habit, but I see you are at it again."
" Yes," he replied, " I have gone to
ohewing and left off lying."
Tom Corwin's Welcome to Is Son-ln
Law.
At thtemarriageof his oldest daughter,
Eva, to) Mr. George R. Sage, a young
lawyer of Cincinnati, Corwin manifested
so much feeling that the occasion took
more of the aspect of a funeral than of a
wedding. During the ceremony he
shed tears, and at the supper, after a
prolonged and solemn silence, he sud
dlenly broke out:
" Now I want it distinctly understood
that this thing is never going to happen
again in thuis house. There will never
he another wedding hero. I will get a
nigger six feet tall, andl give him a pole
*en feet long, and post him at the front
door, and instruct him to knock any
young man in the head who comes to
see niy daughtters."
Gen. Garfield relates that, shortly b~e
fore Corwin's death, when he returned
to Washington from a flying visit to
iLeb~anon to attend the marrae of his
youngest daughter, he referre to this
mnarrialgo of Eva, and said that he shut
himself up in his room for three or four
daiys before it occurred, and could not
b)e persuaded to take any part in the
pre~parat ions, and only on the most
('arniest solicitations di lie come down
to witness the ceremony. He said: "I
could not endure the thou ght of my
(aughter loying another man betterthan
umyself ; and yet she married a noble
fellow. And now the old feeling has re
tuirned. I tell you I had a hornibe time
of it until the ceremony was over."
1FP a woman really loves tier husband,
and enjoys his society, she car' findsa
way to keep him home evenings. Let
Iher get somebody to hint to him that a
~young man calls very often of an evening
at his house, and he'll plant himself in
the parlor right after supper, and never
thbink of going out.
ruE universe is but one great city,
full of beloved ones, chivine and human,
byv nature endeared to each other,