The Newberry herald. (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, June 21, 1883, Image 1
A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets, &c.
Vol. XIX. NEWBERRY, S. C., THURSDAY, JUNE 21, }883. No. 25.
" 1 PUBLIHD
'r EVRY THURSDAY NORNING,
U Newberry, 8. V.
1Y THO1. P. GRENEKER,
F4itpr and Proprictor.
srs, $,.O per '.fannn,
tavariab3y in Advance.
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g$ The r mark denotes expirntio-, of
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.1sceUi
T..1TYVEmbracing a J
~e .CCOT
N I YOiTE,1
ASSIMERE SU
CHEVIOT
FLAN
S,
xts' F i
This stock is complete in all its varietie
My Stock of Ge
has been selected with great care and c
Low Quarters and Gaitei
All orders adressed to my care wi
M.J1
COLUMBIA, S. C.
May 2. 18---tf.
Talbott
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PORTABLE AN]
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SAW AND C(
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EVERY FAIR WE
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We Deal Direct with the Purcha
L WRITE FOR
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y 138, 19-3mos.
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Catalogs
W. DORMAN, 21 GERN
ubs.cribers. to the HERALD are
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LOVE IN THREE SECTION
SECTION I.
A pretty girl,
A pleasant whirl,
Behind a team of grays:
A nice young man
To plot and plan
In various kinds of ways.
A blush and squceze
Are sure to please,
Another fond caress,
Some further chaff,
A smile and laugh,
And then a gentle "Yes."
SECTION II.
A preacher pale,
A bridal veil
Come through the portals wide;
The groom is there,
Complete the pair,
And then the knot is tied.
SECTION III.
A year has gone,
Time sweeps along
In its unceasing tramp
Now, see that groom
Charge 'round the room,
The baby's got the cramp!
HANGED AND DIDN'T KNO1
IT.
A SHERIFF' S STOnY OF A n;EMARI
ABLE WESTERN EXECUTION.
From the New York Star.
The dismal rain beat against th
windows of the court house, an
swept in sheets across the jail yard
Court was adjourned for the day
the clerks had gone home and
hand of officials gathered in th
grand jury room for a half hou
chat. But the flow of conversatioi
was less free and jovial than con
mon. Apparently the depressin;
aspect of things without had effect
ed the spirits of the county mag
nates. The usually smiling face o
the sheriff wore a sad expression
and the jolly surrogate gaze<
mournfully out upon the cheerlesE
muddy street. Upon the benig
visage of the county judge was
melancholy look, as if in his officia
capacity he had sentenced himsel
as a private individual to suffer the
extreme penalty of the law. Tiltet
back in a big arm chair, the fore
man of the grand jury thoughtfull;
cleaned his finger nails. A -lon,
silence was broken by the sherif
who observed, as a sudden gust c
wind dashed the rain noisily agains
the glass:
"What a day for hanging !"
-'Wretched !" replied the surrc
gate carelessly turning the leaves c
the penal code.
"I wouldn't be hanged on a da;
like this for any consideration."
"A fellow would catch his deat:
of cold." put in the foreman of th
grand jury. "What put the subjec
of hanging into your head, sheriff?
"0, I was just thinking of a poc
fellow who expiated a murder i:
Iowa, ten years ago, on such a da
as this."
"Another of your Western yari
eh, sheriff?', said the surrogate, wit
a yawn. "Why will a man alway
draw a long bow when he tells who
happened to him out West?"
"This is gospel truth,retorte
the sheriff, quickly, "and it's not]
ing that happened to me, or I shoul
not be here to tell it. Moreove:
Mr. Surrogate. I never exaggerate.
"Oh, no," was the sarcastic rt
joinder.
"Never mind him," said the fora
man of the grand jury, "go on wit
your story."
Tne sheriff seated himself on th~
green-covered table and began:
"Well, as I said, this happene
ten years ago, way out in Iowa.
fellow killed his brother-in-law an
was sentenced to death. The han~
ing was public, the gallows hein
erected on the open prairie a litti
distance behind the jail. I wa
sworn in as a special deputy. Hol;
Moses. how it did rain on that day
The water ct:me down in chunk
with su.ffici'ent force to tear un
brellas into tatters in fifteen mix
utes."
"Sheriff, sheriif," murmured th
county judge, in a tone of gentl
reproach.
"Oh, it's a f'act ! The condesmeet
man was carried to the place of es
ecution in an open cart. Anothe
deputy and' I rode with him. .J
IanginAg was too rare a treat to b
nissed by people out t , no mal
ter what the weather was. Shiv- -1
ering and wet. a large crowd stood
in the coarse. saturated grass about ]
. the scaffold. We placed our man a
under the crosspiece and fastened 1
the rope about his neck. Every-|
thing was ready except the last i
prayer and letting the trap fall. t
The sheriff asked the prisoner if he i
had anything to say.
"Yes," said the man. He made
a long speech, declaring his inno- s
cence, abusing the judge and all 8
that kind of thing. Suddenly he a
stopped in the middle of a sentence. g
All this time, you must remember, a
the rain was falling in cataracts. i
I Seeing the doomed man silent the
sheriff tipped a wink to the clergy- b
man, who, being a Baptist, did not
mind the rain. The reverend gen
tleman began to pray. We all bent
our heads, although no one was
pious enough to take his hat off.
Just as Brother Hardshell was -c
winding up his petition, we heard a
cry of astonishment from the crowd. t
I looked up, and what do you think b
I saw?" "the prisoner escaping?"
asked the surogate.
"No pir; he was hanging two feet
from the platform."
"What?" cried the sheriff's audi- e
tors, together. t
"That rain had shrunk the rope
enough to hang our man for us." r
For a moment the silence of the
e room was broken only by the tick- 3
ing of the clock and the rattle pf t
the rain drops against the panes. a
, The foreman -of the grand jury t
drew a long breath and said: n
e "Sheriff, a man of your imagina
r tion should write unsolicited testi
1 monials for patent medicines." I
a
"IF THE COURT KNOWS U
HERSELF."
s
f THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN ORIGIN OF
AN OLD AND ODD EXPRESSION. c
W. R. H. in the Glebe-Demodrat.
1 You have often heard the ex
pression, "If this court knows her
self, and I. think she does." I'll
f tell you wh3re it originated. In
early times, long before the Cali
fornia ekcitt ment, a young boy b
from Pike ccunty, Missouri, by the t
name of Blackburn, ran away from
his home and went out to the
mountains. He became hunter,
f trapper, Indian fighter and guide,
Sand so grew to manhood, and at
the period where other people be
come satisfied with their stature and
stop, Blackburn kept on growing r
until he towered six feet four
inches into the air. In addition to
this unusual height, he was very
slim and unapproachably awkward.
His joints were large, so were his
ehands and feet, and in his gait he
semdto imitate the undulatory
,movements of the giraffe. In his
r numerous encounters with grizzly
bears and Indians he had been
pretty thoroughly mangled, and
when he made his appearange on
the coast he was minus an eye. The ~
Sball was there, but the sight had
hbeen scratched out by the claws of ~
a grizzly. His hair on the top of ~
hiMs head was rather short and un
even, and it stood straight up. His
dmethod of cutting it was to grab a -
'handful and saw it off with a butch- t
(er knife. Around the sides and t
Sback of his cranium he didn't
bother with it, so it hung in grace- t
Sful confusion about his shoulders I
and back. lHe had no book larnin I
whatever, but in lieu of that he had
a keen wit and good common sense. 4
When the gold fever broke out t
CBlackburn made his way to the a
mines, and the miners in a humo- x
rous freak elected him alcade, t
which corresponds to the office of I
justice of the peace. The first case i
Sthat came before him was an action i
Sbrought by the husband of a comely t
eMexican woman for damages
against a gambler, who, while on a
Shorseback and intoxicated, had run 1
-over the lady, knocking her down i
Sand producing serious consequences.
The trial took place in the largest ~
cabin in the vicinity, and the room
was packed with rough-bearded azi, .
Sred-shirted miners. For a table, a t
large dry goods box was placed at
one end of the room, while the
i judge seated himself with dignity
. uren a smaller one. The gambler,
r who was rich, engaged the best i
counsel, and prepared to make a
ebitter fight. The judge called the
.yoang woman to~ testify. She told 1
ter story in a simple,straight forward
ray,'and, when she had finished,
llackburn closed the case. The
ittorney for the defense protested,
ut the judge was firm and stern'
hunning his hand through his up
ight'hair and fixing his one eye on
he defendant he proceeded with
ue deliberation and emphasis to
eliver his judgment. He said:
If this court knows herself, and
he thinks she does, I fine you the
um of $500 damages and assess up
n you the costs of puttin' this yere
al in . good condition." When
sked to explain his precise mean
ag, he said he meant for the
gambling chap to pay the doctor's
ills and the costs of her illness."
WAITING ON THE COMBINA.
TION.
A country editor, who had pro
ured a Hall's safe on an advertise
ient,. is toying with the combina
on. Man waiting to collect a
ill.
"Eigteen times slow to the right
top at 32k," the editor soliloquizes.
"Copy !" yells the- boy who sets
p the paper.
Hastily abandoning the safe, the
ditor cuts out a half column ar
cle from an exchange, marks it
editorial," hands to the boy and
aturns to the combination.
"Let's see," he muses, "stop at
2J. Now, then, to the left 15
Lmes slow past 32J stop at 16k,"
nd then, looking up at the collec
)r, he paused' and inquired, "How
iuch is that bill of yourn?"
"Two dollars."
"Can't you come in to-morrow?
haven't any change about me,
nd I don't like to ask you to wait
ntil I open my safe."
"Just as leave wait as not," re
ponded the collector.
"Besides," continued the editor,
I hamen't anything less than a
100 bill in the safe. Break a
undred dollar note?"
"Yes, two of 'em," was the dis
eartening response.
"All right. Lemme see, 16g.
'hen to the right past 16j-but
old up, seems to me half of that
ill was to be taken out in adver
.sing. How is that?"
"No such thing."
"Sure?"
"Yes, I am."
"Very well. Then to the right
ast 16* fourteen times to the left,
op at 75. "Look here," to the
ollector, "better come in to-mor
aw. This is an accommodation
tops at all the stations, and be
ides that, it's flagged ev'ery few
iinutes," he added. as the boy
ailed him out to see "that woman
rith some more poetry.".
Thirty-five minutes later he reap
ears with an arm load of mijgd
octry.
"You couldn'nt wait till I read
his, could you?" he asks, "or, may.
e, you'd like to skim through it
-ourself?" he added.
But the collector said he felt
ainty like, and would just sit still
.nd wait until the safe was open
"Oh, you will, will you? Correct
-75, then to the right past 75
hirty-eight times slow, stop at 99j;
len to left past 99} a hundred and
ity-eight times, stop at 43; then
o the right past 43-Say ! I'd
uther you'd come in to-morrow.
'm a little pushed for time now.
1an't wait? Then to the right past
:3 six hundred and twenty-two
imes, stop at 13. This is a long
tretch of country I'm going over
ow," said the editor, as he whirled
he nob, "but when I get to 13 I'll
e nearly- half through-confound
t, I've passed it ! Have to begin
11 over now. Eighteen times slow
o the right, stop at 32k-"
"Hold on there ! Stop right
here you are," interposed the col
ector; "I'll come in some time next
Lonth ;" and he left.
"It's my opinion that no news
>aper office is complete without one
if these combination lock safee,"
oliloquized the editor, as he deftly
iuned the knob twice, opened the
afe and got out his last cigar.
(Saturdayj Night.
A little cider now and then is
elished by the best of men.
A mule is tame enough in front
et awfully wild behind.
CHARLESTON' & SAVANNAH
RAILWAY CO. SAVANNAH.
FLORIDA & WESTERN
RAILWAY CO.
NEW YORK, May 23, 1883.
DRAI: SiR : The extension of the
transportation systems in South
Carolina, Georgia, Florida, and the
increase of business attendant
thereon, have rendered it necessary
to provide increased facilities for
a proper representation of them in
this city. Therefore on the first
day of June next, this office will be
removed from 315 Broadway to 271
Broadway, corner Chambers Street.
The traffic interests directly rep
resented by this agency will em
brace the'following companies:
Charleston & Savaanah Railway, - 115 Miles.
Savannah, & Elorida Western $'y, 512
South Florida Railroad, - - - 125 "
People's Line Steamer, plyipg the
Chattahooche, Flint, Apala
chicola Suwanne and St. Johns
Rivers, - - - - - 685 "
and in addition to the above the
various lines of railway and steam
ships connecting therewith by trafic
agreements.
This office will be the Florida
Fleadquarters for all information re
lative to this new wonderfully pro
;ressive State.
Rates of passage and freight by
the several railway and steamship
lines, and information for settlers
and tourists will be furnished.
South Carolina, Georgia and Florida
aewspapers will be kept on file, and
visitors are invited to call at this
Dffice and consult them.
The recent completion of the ex
tension of the Savannah, Florida &
Western Railway to a connection
with the Pensacola & Atlantic
Railway, at Chattahoochee, Fla.,
makes our line the- shortest in
freighting miles from the east by
water and rail to Western Florida,
Southern Alabama and the Gulf
Ports, and -via New Orleans to all
points south and southwest.
For passenger travel, we furnish
the only route to all Winter Resorts
in America, by this route tickets
may be purchased to all points in
South Carolina, Florida, South
Georgia and Alabama, Louisiana,
and via New Orleans to Texas,
New and Old Mexico, Arizona and
California.
The elegant service of Pullman
Pallace Buffet and Drawing-Room
Sleepers, inaugurated from New
York and Washington to Charles
ton, Savannah and Jacksonville
direct, having met the unqualified
approval of the traveling public,
has been extended to New Orleans
by the new line via Chattahoochee,
making but One Change of Cars be
Fween New York and New Orleans, at
Savannah.
The consolidation of the South
Florida Railroad, now in operation
between Sanford and Kissimmee,
with our system, insures its com
pletion to Tampa by or before the
Erst of January next. Upon its
completion to the Gulf; it is the
purpose of the management to
place a line of steamships on the
route between Tampa, Key West
and Havana, built especially with a
view to safety, speed and the ut
most comfort and luxury. The
time between Tampa apd Havana
will not exceed twenty-eight hours,
and between New York and Hav
ana about three days and a half.
At Tampa connection will be made
by coastwise steamer for all points
on the Manatee River, Clear Water
Harbor, Andote, etc.
Communications by mail, or in
quiries personally, will be prompt
ly and cheerfully answered.
Very truly yours,
C. D. OwENs,
General Agent.
H. GOnHAM,
Contracting Agent.
JoNAHu H. WHITE,
Eastern Passenger Agent.
WHY HE DIDN'T SUrr.-Chicago
has long been known for her ultra
fashionable ladies and pastel-eyed
dudes. Last week a new minister
preached his initiatory sermon in
one of our. most prominent temples.
The wife of a wealthy pork packer
attended in state. When she re
turned home her hog-killing hus
band asked her how she liked the
sermon. She replied :
"Very well, I guess, but-"
"But what?" asked the wealthy
parishioner.
"But he didn't exactly suit me."
"Why, pray tell?"
"Because his terra cotta com
plexion don't match my crushed
strawberry hair."
Silence came o'er the little group
like a fog over the blighted memory
of the long, long since.-Chleek.
A darkey who was stooping to
wash his hands in a creek didn't
notice the peculiar action of a goat
just behind him. So when he
scrambled out of the water and was
asked how it happened, Iie said: "I
dunno, zactly, but it 'peired as if
the shore kinder histed and flung
me."
HOW HE DEPOSED & CHIEF:
Governor McCook once caused
the deposition of a Ute chief named
Colorow, in the following manner:
During his administration, Col
orow and a band of Utes came to
a post town and camped on the out
skirts. One day the chief sent
word that he wanted a new tent.
McCook despatched an agent to see
what condition Colorow's tent was
in; the report was that he did not
need a new tent, and McCook ac
cordingly refused, In the afternoon,
while the Governor was in his office.
Colorow came in half drunk, with a
revolver in his hand, and going over
where McCook was writing, sat
down. The Governor took in the
situation at a glance, but did not
look up.
"McCook liar !" said Colorow.
The Governor went on writing.
(cCook damn liar!" repeated
the chief. Still McCook continued
writing. "McCook G damn
liar !" said Colorow, reaching a
climax.
Nevertheless McCook- would not
look at him.
By this time Colorow had con
cluded there was no fight in the
Governor, and allowed the hand
holding the revolver to drop to his
side. The wove was a bad one.
In an instant McCook seized his
wrist, knocked the weapon away
from him, and catching the aston
ished savage by the neck, kicked
him down stairs and out into the
street, where a number of Utes
were standing about. With great
tact, McCook pointed to the pros
trate and humiliated form of Colo
row, and turning to the Utes, said:
"Colorow an old woman. Get a
man for chief"
Then, turning on his heels, he
walked up stairs. The next day
the mortified Utes depose_Colo
row.- Coorado Paper.
Who Am I ADyhow.
A short time ago says the Salt
Lake Tribune, a bright looking Dan
ish boy stepped into a lawyer's
office, and said.
'I want you to tell me who I am,'
laying a $5 bill on the desk at the
same time.
The lawyer, peeping alternately
at the boy and at the $5 bil, shak
ing his head, replied:
-It seems you are a funny boy?'
'Not funny at all. Now you will
find it a very serious matter.'
'Well, go ahead and explain it.
'About twenty years ago a
wealthy Danish lady, being a
widow, came over to this country,
with her two daughters. There
was a Norwegian and his boy.
The father married both the
widow's daughters. One year after,
the Norwegian's boy married the
wealthy widow. The result of that
marriage was another boy, and, if
I am sure,-I am that boy. The
Nowegian's boy died. The Dan
ish widow was a widow again but
the, old Norwegian married her too.
After that the old lady died and
one year ago the old gentleman
too, after he had made himself the
owner of his third wife's property.
Now,. when I claimed .that prop
erty my sister said : 'Stop, you
can't be the heir at all ! You are
our late husband's grand-child.
By her marriage with him you
became your mother's grand.child,
too, anud after she died, we became
your mothers, and you never can
inherit the property before we are
dead. That's what my sister moth
ers sa.y, but I think that can't be
right and there maust be some mis
takein polygamy. Now, sir, please
to tenl me what I am-who I am.'
The lawyer, thrusting his chiu
into his neck, answered pathetical
ly : 'You a polyga mistake !'
How IT Wis MADE-An old
lady in the country had a dandy
from the city to dine with her on a
certain occasion. For dessert there
happenied to be an enormous apple
pie.
"La.. ma'am!I" said he, "how do
you m:anage to handle such a pie?"
"Easy enough," was the reply;
"we make the crust up in a wheel
barrow,,wheel it under the apple
tree, anid then shake the fruit down
into it."
ae.ro G
ouect nu adl e.
Adaummmaotuussa -
be otkerlms ws _ :
bnerb A.i1Wea: r
Pser- with beral
DONE WITH NETNS A3W;
TERMS 'CAlSH
TOPNGOBY.
When Mr. Topnoody had
down after supper Thursasye
ing, his wife, after a (oewp4i
inary coughs, remarked:
"Mr. Topnoody, haveyou t
anything about where we -4
spend the summer?"
"Yes, my dear I have gf
subject some deliberation?
"And have you decided. op
place, dear?"
"Yes, love, I have."
"Oh, you sweet tjing! Whor
it to be?"
"At home, love; the 0WOW.
on earth, the conservator
affections in which bloom the
et, fairest flowers of hope i,,
piness, contentment and
serenity."
"Oh, bosh, Topnoody !"
"But, my dear , it is triw
don't see why you want to
nasty crowded hotel in -
weather when it isu-sa
and more pleasant at ho "'->
"You think it will k
home, do you?"
"I know It, my dear."
"All right, Topnoody
insist on makling me istay M.
this summer after rve
much to make you co
Just go right onmakh
slave, but let me tell y
you- go any. fmrthe,thet
here during the sammer,
it.so hot for you that
four - times $ day- for a
breeze, and, beg like a
school boy for a -house -
frigerator plan -and a
clothes mn ade ' --~a
and sun umbreHlas. Iam
mild woman, Topnoody,
the worm will tuaa
upon." 1
Topnoody has
his foot off of the worm.
Tmd FmEND THA&T
poet is one of ourexhg
"Give me the'friend that
me." Yes, that is the
we like, but they are aaeea
had a young friend endaelfw
acoustomed to cling to us uni)
seemed that'he couldn't oeHi
clinger. -Heeinng to usuiI
in one of our wealthya
moments, lent him $10.
date he hasn't clung to e
great extent. On the -
all the clinging has beeti -o
us. When we meet him o
street we show a strong dead
cling, while he would..
from usas free as a-bird. W
not of the cling'variety any~
The poet is right, but heek
have said: "Give me the fi
who clings to ime when he mr-s
$10.'"
[3Rdditowe? -
CJnCUMLOCATonY.
saida young mn nto a
daughter he wras courting, "I b
request to make of you."
"Very well, sir what is it?' -
"I want you to-.give are
which you never bad, neverwa
,wouldn't have If It were
you, and yet you can give I
me.".
"I don't understand you4
replied the mystifled widow.
"I want you to give me a ufw
"Oho! You want mydig .
do you? Well, you can
but speak plainer next time,.,
[The Drumase
"There is something about
daughter," Mr. Wanghop sal&
fiectively--there's somethisg
your daughter-" "Ye, safl
Mr. Thistlepod, "the Is;1
noticed it myself. It comes
night about eight o'clock, and~
doesn't get away usuaRly til
eleven o'clock. And som0
those evenings I aigig t
all the way from the front
the side gate and see whait
in it."-Phladelpkia Tim,es._
There is more follyil a
suspecting every one thaa int
lng every one.
We usually learn to wf.
when we have no longer
to wait for.
impiove .ost -il