Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

Ina," THE HERALD IS PUBLISED aDnd 75 cents for eac :: s t insertion Ion above.- - &gRY THUMSAY MORNING, gvg Y HUR DA MO NIG,Notices of mens,obituaes and tributcs s - A Newberry, . 0. advertisemen. - BY THOA. P. GR(KR, Editor and Proprietor. - and charged accordingiy. Special coanracts mtade with large adfe tisers, with liberal deductions on above rate' Te s, . er u InArbly In AdVIDOe. Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets &c. -- -e h e r Is t ed at the expiration of de DO WITH NEATNESS AN DISPATC s T .n.t....,irat,. . Vol. xvm . NEWBERRY, S. C., THURSDAY, MARCH 2, 1882. No. 9. TERMS CASH. crivtio ar. dntsepiaino A REMINISCENCE. Once, when I was a little boy. I sat me down to cry, Beease my little brother had .The biggest piece of pie." 'Twas not but I had quite enough, Bat then I could't see The reason why a partial nurse Should give him more than me. They said I was a naughty boy, But I have oft seen men Behave themselves as foolishly As I behaved Just then. For we are often thankless for Rich blessings, when we sigh To think 4ome luckier neighbor has A "bigger piece" of pie. ISS HAICOURT'S LOVER -0 BY EaSKINE BELL. -0 xt looks as if it were going t< snow for weeks, Miss Elizabeth, said old Gregory. as he touche( his hat and hobbled down the ic pathway as fast as rheumatisa and old age would permit him. Miss Elizabeth looked down int< the sweet old English garden with its tangled mass of shrub bery covered with snow, and i mist came over her eyes. A, week ! The slim white fingeri closed tightly over the yellom envelope clasped in her hand, anc - as she turned away from th( door a tear plashed down upoz it. In just one week the mortgagc would be foreclosed, the lettei said, and unless the amount conlc be raised in the meanwhile, th( dear old house where she wai born most pass into the hands o strangers. The investi.ents that her ne phew made for her all proved fail ures, and when, five years ago, b had come bustling up from Lon don and told her that this mort gave would save her fortune, sh signed her name to the paper and for a while all seemed well. How foolish she had been Why had she not asked more abou iU? Ralph Morgan had paid thi i!terest for her as it came due until two years ago, when she re ceived a short 'letter from him and he had decided to go to Aus tralia.~ That was all. Miss Elizabetl had seen very little of him. H: was the only child of her sister who was many years older. Whei the father died, the property wa divided between the sisters. Mar garet took her share in money and went, with her husband an< child, to live in' London, wher< she died soon after. Elizabeth had never left thi old homestead, and with prope management, there would neve: have been any need to do so ; bn now-she had made another miu take. The old clock was ticking loud ly in~ the great wide ball as sh slowly went -np the atairs to th pleasant room where she hai spent her lifetime. 'I am always making miist.akes she mnoamed, drearily, as sh threw herself on the little whit bed. 'Sixteen years ago to-day made one, and now I1 have mad another.' There were DO tears now in th dark gray eyes, ont# a tired lool that strangers would wonder at for if ever a woman was envied ii that little village, Elizabeth Har lWho has everything one coul wish for,' the poor folks said ; 'bu she is so good with it all.' How could they know of tb business worries, and the pinei ing economy, and the achini heart, that the sweet, calm fac never showed ? Elizabeth Harcourt was a pron woman, and in the years gone by had been a hasty one; and now, i $he quiet of her room, her thought went back to long ago when, i her hot temper, she told Jac Rainsford she never wished to se his face again. How could b~ know that in t,he morning sh would have given worlds to ui sa the words ? It had started, like most quar rels, with such a little thing! But he had taken her at her word, and one week from that night she gave him back his ring, he sailed for India, and she had never seec him since. She did not think he would stay away, but in the meanwhile, no one should 'ever know she cared at all; so she laughed and taik.-d more blithely than ever, and grow prettier every day, until overy one said she never had cared for him; and away off in hot Calcutta, Jack Rainsford heard it, and hia heart grew hard and bitter. A year went by and he did not come back; then she promised to marry Philip Dinsmore. 4fter that she was gayer than ever, un til, when the wedding day was fixed' and the villagers talking of the grand match, she broke it off with him. Nobody ever know why, except Philip Dinsmore. If he had been less grand and noble than he was she mightrha%-e mar > ried him; but looking into those ' pure eyes of his, she cCuld not I take a lie on her lips. So she told , him. with bitter tears how the i face of her absent lover came be tween her and any one else. > Brave Philip Dinsmore ! As he listened, whiter nad whiter grew his face; but when she had fin ished, he stooped and kissed the sweet red lips for the last time. In all the world he knew he would never love another woman as he loved Beth Harcourt, and it was a grander love than she had before. 'I am going to India on busi ness next month, Beth,' he wrote fo her afterwad, 'and if I can, I will-Jack Rainsford.' So be sailed away-and the ship was lost, and Philip Dinsmore never reached Jack Rainsford. After that Elizabeth Harcourt was never the same; and as the years rolled on, she was left alone with her faithfol servants l in the old stone house. Some. - body said that Mr. Rainsfurd mar - ried tho daughter of a rich mer chant, but he never came back. Something bad gone from her life with each year, and now, at forty, I the very last thing had come, and the old home was to go. No wonder, en that winter morning Elizabeth Harcourt was in despair! She hqd had so much ,to bear! From the night that -Jack Rainsford left her in anger she had never really been happy Sagain. That hot temper her mo Sthen had warned her against-ah ,it had been cooled since then. SNo one who saw her bending a quietly over the sick bed in the -poorest cottage would guess that ,beneath that calm face there hac I ever been anything but peace. SNow she lay with wide oper eyes, thinking of the past, and ir >her ears were ringing old Nurse r Blackitt's words of her : 'She will Stake an awful site of soberin'.' L Just then there came a knock -at the door, and Elspeth's voice, saying, - 'Miss Elizabeth, there is 3 strange gentleman down stainE a who wished to see you for a few~ i minutes. He looks as if he was from London.' 'The lawyer from London ! MisE SHarcourt's heart gave a quick & throb as she arose and mechani I cally glanced at the little narrow a glass between the windows. There was a red spot burning on each a cheek, and the brown hair had C lost its smooth, satin appearancei ;but she did not notice that to-day, but passed quickly down to the cool, dark room below. The stranger rose and bowed as I she entered, a tall man with gray t hair and a swarthy skin. 'Your letter came this mnorni ng, a began Miss Elizabeth, nervously S'I am afraid the house will have Sto go for the mortgage-' e 'My letter ?' said the stranger 'I think there must be some mis Stake.' ,~ 'I beg your pardon,' Miss Har n court said, 'but are you not frorr 5 London?' n The stranger took a step for k ward. e 'Beth,' he said, 'have I changet e so completely that you do no e know me ?' a'Jack !' she gasped. 'You can not be Jak Rainsford !' Such a different meeting frf-m If that which she had planned in the 3 years gone by! Instead of pas- 6 sionate kisses she quietly shook i bands with her old lover, and sat I down on the chair opposite to a him. a A chilled, disappointed look t came over the worn, tired face of v the man, and he arose and walked < over to the window as he saidi bitterly, 'You have hardly changed at. t all, but sixteen years in India are < not likely to keep a man fresh l and young-especially when they r are not particularly happy ones.' I Something in the tones made 1 Elizabeth Harcourt's heart thrill t as in the old days; but she re-1a membered that wife in India. The. r feverish cheeks grew a deoperip crimson, but she said, quietly,- C 'Are you going to stay for any length of time in England, Mr. It Rainsford ? Js your wife with you?' With a startled look he turned a and faced her. 'You know 1 never married, t Beth ffarcoqrt,' he said bitterly. c '. never loved anybody but you, and-you have forgotten me.' With a low cry she sprang to ward him, and the next moment C was sobbing in his arms. :Jack, my darling,' she said, 'I have loved you always, and have not forgotten you for one moment all these weary years!' 'If I had only known it before !' he answered sadly. 'Some one told me you married the year af ter I left, and I thought it was tru until one day, on board a vessel, I met a lad that came from here. I asked him about the old place, and ho told me Miss Eliza beth Harcourt had nursed him through a fever when every one else was afraid to come near him.' Rainsford stopped and Rlipped an odd hop of shining stones on Miss Harcourt's finger. - 'Do you know,' he said, 'a wild kope filied me, and I said to my self, 'It is for Beth, if she will wear it. If not I will drop it in the middle of the ocean, and never look at England again.'' Elizabeth looked down at the sparkling diamonds, and said with a long-drawn sigb, 'Oh. Jack, and it was only this t morning that I was in despair ' 'Suppose you let me see that letter from London ?' he said. 'I wanted to make some English in vestments.' Tbat night Miss Harcourt knelt by the little white bed with a hap py sob, like a tired child that had tound rest at last. Jack did make an invest, but it was not in London. The mort gage was relieved, and Jack and I Beth now enjoy the old stone I mansion. THE ELECTION BILL. E l'all Text or its XorelmportantProviions, The following are the moro im-t portant provisions of the Election Bill, as finally ~passed by both 1 houses of the General Assembly : SECTION 1. All male citizens ofJ the United States, of the age of 1 twenty-one years and upwards, not laboring under the disiabilities of the Constitution, without dis- I tinction of race or color or formeri condition, who shall have been ai resident of the State for one year, I and in the county in which he offers to vote for sixty days nexti preceding any general election,i shall be entitled to vote: Pro- I vided, That no person, while kept in any almshouse or asylum, or of I unsound mind, or confined in any public prison, or shall have been I convicted of treason, murder, rob-i bery of tbe goods or chattels of anotber with or without violence, whether taken from the person or I otherwise, or of dueling, shall be allowed to vote. SEC. 2. All electors of the State I shall be registered as hereinafter provided, and no person shall be allowed to vote at any electioni hereafter to be held unless regis- I tered as herein required. SEc. 3. On or before the first ao arch next and on or be ore the same day in every second g -car thereafter, the Governor A hall appoint, by and with the ad- ti Iice and consent of the Senate, if 0] r session, and if not in session, p ubject to the approval of the Sen- ei ,te at its next session, and subject J. o removal by the Governor, by I u .id with the advice and consent c f the Senate, one competent and g tiscreet person in each county, m who shall be a qualified voter ol hereof, and who shall hold his tj ifice at the county seat, who shall el e known as the supervisor of bi egistration of such county, and ti whose duty it shall be to super- al ise the registration of the elec- d; ore of such county us herein el pecified. The said supervisor of cl egistration shall keep a record of g, 11 his official acts and pro. pl eedings. The term of his office ball be for two years from 81 he date of his appointment, v< who shall continue in office until ir heir successors are appointed fc nd qualified, and he shall not be al ligible to any other office during oi he term for which he is appoint- w d. h The Governor shall have thp a uthority to appoint an assistant a] upervisor in case of the inability t( f the supervisor to act, who, P when so appointed, shall have all r< he powers and be charged with a 11 the duties of the supervisor, s1 nd shall receive five dollars per a iem when actually employed. d 'he Governor shall also appoint p wo assistant supervisorn of elec b ion who shall serve without com ensation-who shall sit with the fC upervisor in all cases where the a 11pervisor shall refuse to register b he applicant. h SEc. 4. The Soecretary of State hall, by the 1st March, Anno e )omini 1882, cause a sufficient umber of registration books and cl lanks to be prepared, so that P hero shall be two of the 0 aid books for each precinct in Je ach county, which books shall be 8 uled in columns, with proper icadings, so as to indicate the ame, age, occupation and pla-,e 0 if residence of each elector, with a a eparate column to the right side h f the page for such entries as 0 ay be necessary. h SEc. 5. After the approval of his Act, the supervisor of regis- g ration, in the months of May and a t une next, shall make a full and d omplete registration of all quali ed voters in the following man er : He shall give three weeks' no ice of the times and places of reg- a stration by advertising in one or e nore county papers, or by post. ng in a public place in each vo- d ing precinct, where no paper is a ublished in the county. The I ime for registration shall not be i' ess than one nor mnorer than threev lays at each registr ation precinct. e mmediately after closing the ~ egistration at the precincts, he ~ hail open his books at the county ~ eat, to correct errors in registra ion, and to register such electors h .s failed to register at their re c pective precincts, and w-bo shall ' hen and there present them- ~ elves for that purpose, entering b he names of such voters in his g ook for their proper precincts. Lt the conclusion of the registra- s ion herein before provided for the ~ upervisor of registration shall ~ 'evise the list ; and in case it a >e made to appear to his sat sfaction that there is a qual- l fed voter in a precinct who has r ailed to register he may, upon uch evidence as he may think al iecessary, in his discretion, per. fi it the name of such voter to be a laced on said list, and to issue a a ertificate therefor. That for the a >urpose of registration, each town. ir ip as now laid out and defined v e, and is hereby, declared a reg- b stration precinct, and in those p ~onties in which there are no a uch townships, that the parish as f< ormerly known and defined be, 14 od is hereby, declared such pre- ti inct, and in the cities of Colum- ci ia and Charleston each ward si hall be a registration precinct. ii SEc. 6. When the saiid registra- si ion shall have,. been completed, c< ,he books shall be closed, and not b -eopened for registration, except i or the purpose and as hereinafter ti n,ritined nil after the next o eneral election for State officers. 1 fter the said next general elec- c on the said books shall be re- t pened for registration of such t ersons as shall thereafter become t 3titled to register on the first .onday in each month, to and b atil the first Uionday of July, in- I usive, preceding the following e eneral election, upon which last a Emed day the same shall be ii osed and not reopened for regis- - ation until after the said general Y ection , and ever after the said )ok shall be opened for registra- - on of such electors on the days )ove mentioned, until the first y of July preceding a general s ection, when the same shall be o osed as aforesaid until the said c eneral election shall have taken d lace. b Ssc. 7. Each elector in the State d iall be required, at the time ad- ii artised for his precinct as here before provided, to appear be. o re tlhe supervisor of registration t the place advertised, and make s ith before the said supervisor, p 'hich oath the said supervisor is a reby authorized and required to t iminister, that the fapts then t ad there to be stated by hii as u >his name, age, occupation, and s lace of residence, and duration of t -sidence in the county and State, c re true, and thereupon the said ipervisor shall enter the name, c ye, occupation and place of resi- s ence of the elector in the appro- c rate column in his registration t )ok. Ile shall make and keep a E st of the contested applications i >r regis.tration which he rejects, F ad report the same for hearing 1 5fore the asiistant supervisors t eretofore required. 4 SEc. 8. The supervisor of regis- c -ation shall determine as to the i gal qualifications of any appli int for registration by summary i rocess, requiring oath, evidence, c r both, it be deem proper, sub. t et to revision by the assistant < ipervisors and himself in all cases I bere he has refused to register ie applicant. From the decision r.the suparvisors of registration ny applioant who is rejected shall e ave the right to a review there- f r by the Circuit Courts, provided e give notice in writing to the t ipervisor of such review and the e round thereof within five days t fter the day of rejection, and insti- I ite his proceedings within tenc ays after the filing of such no. ce. t SEC. 9. Any person coming of ge, and becoming qualified as an lector, may appear before the ipervisor of registration on any I ay on which the books are opened s aforesaid, and take oath as to I is age, and qualifications as here >fore provided, and if the super. I isor find him qualified, he shallc rter his name upon the registra- ( on book of the precinct wL erein I e resides. Such person shall have 2e right of appeal as aforesaid, inc ise the supervisor shall not find im qualified : Provided, That in I ase a person shall not be of age >qualify him as an elector or 2e day of the closing of the noks of registration before anye eneral election, but shall be ofr 2ch age as will qualify him as ch elector before the said gen ral election, and shall appear be - >re the supervisor of registration a rid take oath thereto, and the iper-visor shall find him qualifiedc e shall enter his name upon thec gistration books as aforesaid. Sic. 10. Each elector registered t s aforesaid shall thereupon be irnished by the supervisor with certificate, which shall contain statement of his age, occupation a rid place of residence, as entered I ithe said registration book, and hieb certificate shall be signedt y the said supervisor, and nor erson shall be allowed to vote atr ny other precinct than the one >r which be is registered, nor an ,ss he pro)duces and exhibits to I he managers of election such1 rtificate : Provided, In case there hall be no election precinct .with iany township or parish, the I 2pervisor shall designate in the artificate at which of the neigh- I oring precincts the elector shalli ote; and in case there be more ban one precinct in any township I r pnrih, the snnervisor shallI ikewise designate in the certifi Ii ate at which of the said precincts c he elector shall vote. The cer- a ificate of registration shall be of b he following form: e Registration Certificate Num t er-- ,County,- Township, t< 'lection Precinct-. The bear- a r,- , is a qualified voter in the t bove precinct and resides at--, b 2-Township dr Parish, and is s< -years of age and entitled to 0 ote at said precinct. s Registered on the day of c ,A. D. 188-. a Supervisor of Registration. b SEC. 11. That every elector fC ball have the right to a renewal c f his certificate without fee or barge, when the same becomes a ofaced by time or accident, upon it is surrendering such certificate, so a efaced, to the supervisor of reg- I itration. 5< SEC. 12. In case of the removal f an elector from one residence 5 D another in the same precinct f ach elector shall notify the su. I ervisor of registration, and sball s rrender his certificate of registra- o ion to the sai4 sqpervisor of regis- c ration, who shall enter the fact f pon the registration book, and v hall give such elector a new cer- b ificate in accordance with such 0 hango of residence. v SEc. 13. In case of the renjoval t f an elector from one precinct to t nother precinct in the same i ounty, such elector shall notify he supervisor of registration and e ball surrender his certificate of e egistration to the said supeivi- t or of registration, who shall, by r he said elector, enter the fact I ipon the proper registration book, I nd shall give such elector a new s ertificate for the precinct into i vhich he has removed. t SEC. 16. The supervisor of reg- c stration shall, immediately pre- s eding each election, revise the egistration of electors and mark ff the names of such electors as e tave died and such as have ie- t noved from one residence, pre- t inct, or county to another, with- C ut notifying him and obtaining a c ertificate of transfer as herein be- r bre provided. 8 SEC. 17. At each and every elec- e ion the supervisor of registration t hall furnish the managers of elec- , ion with one of the registration >ooks for each precinct, for the t are and custody of which ther nanagers receiving the same shall c ie responsible, and which theyc hall return to the supervisor of a egistration within three days I ~fter the close of election, and no e lector shall be allowed to vote vhose name is not registered ase ereinbefore provided. ( SEC. 18. The supervisors of reg stration shall receive for their e ompensation in the County of a 3barleston one thousand dollars, ~nd in each other county in this ~tate five hundred dollars. The t ompensation of the supervisors e iter the present year to be fixed E y the General Assembly. e * * * * * * ( SEC. 24. The polls shall be open[ ,t such voting places as shall be de- g ignated at 7 o'clock in the fore- t soon, and close at 6 o'clock in the y fternoon of the day of election, t ,nd shall be kept open during these e ours without intermission or a ,djournment ; and the managers ] ball administer to each persone ffering to vote an oath that he is a ualified to vote at this election, E ccording to the Constitution of v his State, and that he has not c oted during this election. * * * * * * SEC. 27. All bar-room6, saloons i ,nd other places for the sale of b iquors by retail shall be closed as o'clock of the evening preceding ~ he day of such election, and re- ] nain closed until 6 o'clock in the 3 forning of the day thereafter, C and during the time aforesaid the S ale of intoxicating liquors is pro- I iibited. Any person duly con- 3 -ieted before a competent court of 3 Sviolation of this section shall be g unished by . a fine not exceeding ( ifty dollars, or by imprisonment y iot exceeding six months, or by e >oth such fine and imprisonmentt n the discretion of the court. t SEC. 28. The voting shall be by >allot, which ballot shall be oft )lin white paper of tw-o and a half!a iches wide by five inches long, A lear and even cut without orna ient, designation,mutilation, sym ol, or mark of any kind whatso ver, except the name or names of Is be person or persons are intended sei ) be chosen, which name or names POI nd office or offices shall be writ. In n or partly printed thereon in bu lack ink; and such ballot shall be W ) folded as to conceal the name J r names thereon, and so folded iali be deposited in a box to be is )nstructed, kept and disposed of as 3 hereafter provided: and no tho allot of any other description it >und in any election box shAll be an )unted. Wb SEC. ?9. There shall be separate Pr' ad distinct ballots for the follow- sul kg officers, to wit: 1, Governor of ad Lieutenant Governor ; 2, in Lher State officers ; 3, Circuit Ja >licitor; 4, State Senators; 5, [embers of the House of Repre. ntatives; 6, County officers; 7, do ,epresentatives in Congress; 8, residential electors; on wbioh 70 ball be the names of the person w r persons voted for as such offi- c Drs, respectively, and the office e >r which they are voted: Pro ided, That whenever a vote is to u e taken on any special question . r questions a box shall be pro- in ided and properly labelled for 0 hat purpose, and the ballots herefor shall be deposited there- w n. SEc. 30. The commissioners of th lection shall provide for each t lection precinct a sufficient nam er of boxes to meet the require aents of the foregoing section. . Ln opening shall be made in the d id of each box not larger than . afficient for a single ballot to be h riserted therein at one time, fo brough which each ballot re- th eived proper to be placed in ach box shall be inserted by the ierson voting, and by no other. ach box shall be provided with a ufficient lock, and each box shall e publicly opened and inspected, U o show that it is empty and se- m ure, and locked just before the pening of the poll and the keys of eturned to the managers, and oh hall not be opened during the lection. Each box shall be Ia elled in plain and distinct Roman ha etters, with the office or officers oted for, and the mdnagers, on be demand of the voter, shall be th equired to read to him the names rei n the boxes, and no vote for any be fice other than that for which ; uch box shall be designated and do abelled shall be counted. At ha 'ach precinct a space or enclo- m are, such as the managers of lection shall deem fit and suffi icnt, shall be railed off or other- B; vise provided, with an opening ing ,t one end or side for the entrance st: if the voter, and an opening at eal be other for his exit, as a polling 'G lace in which to hold the elec- rei ion for the State, circuit and pe ounty offices. A timilar but eparate and distinct space or en losure shall be railed off or 'I therwise provided as a polling ns lace for the election of Con- chi ressmen and Presidential elec- w< ors, at such distance from the hc oling place for State officers as lit he Comissioners of election for ach county shall determine and ,ppoint for each election precinct. ol st one voter shall be allowed to nter any polling place at a time, TI nd no one except the managers hall be allowed to speak to the oter while in the polling place m asting his vote. Journalist, have you an article to r repare ? Make it short. Minister, to; an ave you a sermon to prepare ? hii lake it short. Lawyer, have you an rgument to present ? Make it short. ~unny man, have you ajoke to tell ? ake it short. Ladies, have you pie- T rust or dresses to make ? Make 'em sa: bort. Tailor, have you a coat to p uild ? Make it short. Saloonist, do ou keep a slate ? Keep it short. 'oung man, have you a marriage en- kii agement on hand!? Make it short. bu )bituary writers and presidents, make our messages short. It is not no essary to advise hank cashiers as to g heir aceounts ; they are sure to make TI bemn short anyhow. An effort made for the happiness of sic ther lifts us above onrselves.A QUESTION OF GOOD E N. GLISH. To THE EDITOR OF THE SUN-Sir: it merely a matter of taste to in t or omit the additional sin the' ;sessive case of nouns ending in .s? The Sun the s is always retained t in the Herald it is dopped. bich is the more correct, James' or mes's ? W. BR. We think the usage of The Su orrect, because it writes the'word it is pronounced and does not leave sound in doubt; and alsobea preserves a legitimate, necesaary I ancient inffection of the nona ile the usage of the Berald 'SRp oses that inefiction or tendso )press it. Moreover, the authority good writers preponderates greaty favor of writing James's instead.ofn mes'-New York Sun. S A CONUNDRUM EXPLAINED.-'How you come to ask six dollars for thisi d of firewood, when John Smith ar neighbor, offers the same kind of od for four dollars ?' was the ques n Gilhooly asked of the man in arge af a load of fuel in Austin. 'Well, you see I am goingto bet licted for stealing this wood, and a have to pay a lawyer to prove -n )ocence. That's why I have -t6 arge two dollars a load extra.'.'_ 'Doesn't John Siith steal his od, too?', -Certainly he does. He cuts it o e same tract of land wherel-." s. 'Well, doesn't he have. to hire. wyer, too, to prove his innocence. 'Of course not. He is never in 3ted by the grandjury. 'Why don't the grand jury indit 'Becanse he is always appointed4 reman. He has got more ini an Ihave.-Siftings. A foolish old woman, being onbT ening at a party, was greatly at is for something to say. At lengt&" - e ventured ta inquire of a genti47 Ln who sat next to her whether his yther had any children. The genthe.z" tn politely pointed out the her inqiry. 'I beg pardon,' said ' I lady, perceiving her mistake; >u don't understand me. I wish t juire whether your grandmoth d any children.' 'Yes,' said the Denver editor, - ink I must .hav got out aIve idable paper this morning. I'e-. en licked by three prominent eit9 mns to-day, another'chased mse will gs and a gun, and the poliee hiaK rd work to keep a mob fro,m 'eking my oflice.'-Boston Fost. ? '1 think I made a sensation,' said?' -own. 'All the time I was sek. g the whole audience received m4 itements with an open-mouthe& gerness that was really wonderful' aping nothing is very wonderful)' narked Fogg, in his usual esa rating manner. Said the sailor to his sweetheart know that ladies care little abo~u utical matters, but if you had yours oice of a ship, what kind of one uld you prefer ?' She cast down' r eyes, blushed and whispered : tie smack.' A little four-year-old girl did not ey when her mother first-ealled her. her mother spoke rather sharply. ien she came in and said : 'Mamma, re been very kind to you to-day, and lon't want you to speak so largeto 'What is the greatest charge o ,ord ?' asked the professor of His -y. And the absent-minded student , swered : 'Seventeen dollars for haet-y e for self and girl for two hna The swell youth now bangs his Liir; iat is because his father did not-c Eciently bang his heir.-Philaid2 'A ia News. - An agricultural editor says:'Ps as are said to be fattening for hogs7 t we have never tried them onrself'.~ Is there a word in the English la age that contains all the vowelsfi p' Lere is, unquestionably. An Italian count is generall yon [ered to be an equivalent to aa. -