The Newberry herald. (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, June 20, 1877, Image 1
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A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets, &c.
Vol. XlIII. WEDNESDAY MORNING, JIUNE 20, 1877. No. 25.
THE HERiALD
IS PUBLISHED
EVERY WEDNESDAY MORNYING,
At Newberry, S. C.
BY THOR. F. GRRNRKR,
Editor and Proprietor.
Term s, S,-a,-0 per vinumr,
Invariably in Advance.
73 The paper is stopped at the expiration of
time for which it is paid.
~7The Nmark denotes expiration of sub
scription.
as~
PAPA'S LETTER.
I was sitting in my study,
Writing letters when f heard,
"Please, dear mamma, Mary told mue
Mamma mustn't be 'isturbed.
"But I'se tired of the kitty,
Want some ozzer fing to do.
Writing letters, is 'on, mamma?
Tan't I write a letter, too?"
"Not now, darling, mamma's busy;
BuD and play with kitty now."
"No, no, mamma, me write letter
Tan if 'on-just show me how."
I would paint my darling's portrait,
As his sweet eyes searched my face
Hair of gold and eyes of azure,
Form of childish, witching grace.
But the eager face was clouded,
As I slowly shook my bead,
Till I said, "I'll make a letter
Of you, darling boy, instead."
So I parted back the tresses,
From his forehead high and white
And a stamp in sport I pasted
'Mid its waves of golden light.
There was a wonderful atmos
phere of freedom, of purity, of brav
ery about her.
And Leonora was a worker. Much
as she despised shams and hypocri
sies she despised idleness.
'Day dreaming ! I don't believe
in it,' she would say. 'Do your
dreaming at night and work during
the day;' and while she talked, in
a bright, cheerful way, each word
clear and distinct, she busily plied
her needle making little dresses
and jackets and aprons. 'For
whom?' 'Oh, for some poor chil
dren around the corner. I had no
thing else to do.'
It was while thus occupied one
afternoon, early in September, seat
ed on the old-fashioned porch,
shaded by a heavy grapevine, that
Clifford Cameron sauntered in and
threw hiLnself in an easy chair be
side her. 'Cliff.' had been a chum
of Harry Lonsdale's since early boy
hood, and for just that period had
alternately tried to teaze and make
love to Harry Lonsdale's sister.
He was a good looking, sweet
tempered, generous, lazy young fel
low, with no end of money. Grand
father had died and left him money.
-father had died and left him
money-uncle had died and left
him money, and lately an old great
aunt, whom he had never seen, had
departed this life, away off in some
obscure corner of the globe, and
left him more money. He had very
fair hair and big, very blue eyes,
beautiful hands and feet, was rather
stout than slender, short than tall
-was one of those infatuated men
who thought the slight cast in Leo.
nora's left eye perfectly charming,
and who had said they would die
of joy if she'd only graciously per
mit them to devote the remainder
of their lives to her.
'Well, Bee,' said he, taking up a
small apron and leisurely surveying
it.
'Well, Butterfly,' was the reply,
'what brings you back from New
port so soon ?'
'You.'
'Oh ! you've come here to talk
nonsense again,' says the young
lady, holding another small apron
before her, her head on one side
like a bird's, as she ponders on the
effect of a bow of green ribbon she
has sewn on the pocket.
'Right, as you always are, my
darling.'
'I'm not your darling, and I'll
take that apron if you're quite done
with it.'
'Deuce take the apron, say I.
Stop sewing I beg of you, Leo-it
makes me quite tired to look at
you.'
'Clifford !'
'Leonora !'
'Aren't you ashamed of yourself?'
'Don't think I am. Ought I to
be?'
With decision--'You should.
Were 1 a young man in good
health, not maimed or crippled
blessed with the average quantity
and quality of brains'
'Thanks!l'
'.'d do something besides loung
ing at watering places in the sum
mer and club houses in the winter
-something in the shape of work
-yes, if five hundred uncles, and
grandfathers, and aunts'
'Couldn't any way in the world,
thank Heaven ! my dear girl, have
so many relations.'
'Left me five hundred fortunes.
And if I fell in love with a girl, I'd
prove to her before I proposed
marriage, that I, myself
'Myself ! Behold me!l' quoted
Clii.
'Could, if an emergency arouse,
and life is full of them, support
her, and that I was not entirely
dependent upon the income flowing
in from the coffers filled by my an
cestors.'
'Bravo ! Leo ! 'You're a splen
did fellow ! That last remark
about the coffins of my ancestors
was extremely fine. I'd like to
have any one, in the glow of my
present admiration for you dare to
hint that you were the tiniest speck
long-nosed. He or she'd repent in
haste. But, most admirable of
your sex, what would you do if you
were a male fellow, so unfortunate
as to know nothing useful, and
wanted to propose to the girl you
loved and all the rest of it ?'
'I'd learn a trade if I hadn't tal
ent enough for a profession.'
'The average quantity and quality
of brain is scarcely suffieient for a
profession, and I'm too old to be
taken as an apprentice. If I were
not and could be converted into a
shoe-maker, or brick-layer-or-Or
--plumber, I think I'd prefer being
a plumber, they only come and
'look at things and go away again.
I couldn't give you a house like
this, where you could sit on the
porch with a peach tree in front of
you and a nice grapevine over you,
making clothes for horrid children
around corners.'
'Nonsense ! I don't mean that.'
'What do you mean, then?'
reaching up and plucking a grape
from a low-hanging branch.
'Cliff Cameron, you know what I
mean as well as I do,' and yet she
explains with great slowness and
jamhais 'I mean that a lman
should be able to support the wo
man he marries either by his head
or hands whether he is ever obliged
to or not. Go away, yoi are put
ting me out of temper.'
'Putting you out of temper?
You're mistaken. 1 never saw your
dimple so angelic in my life. But
I say, Leo,' he continued more se-!
riousiy, 'if I prove to you that on
an emergency-that is, if you with
your luxurious tastes and general
extravagance should waste'my sub
stance in riotous living after we
were married-if I prove to you
that in that case I should be will
ing and able to give you bread with
an occasional bit of butter-would
you name the day ?'
'That emergency never could
arise.
'Well, imagine any emergency
you choose, only answer me. Would
you name the day .'
'What day?'
'Leonora!l'
'Yes, I would.'
'You would-fair and square
now?'
'I would. Isn't that enough ?'
'Quite enough. But it must be
an early one.'
'Must ?'.
'Will, my blessed.'
'Yes.'
Cliff Cameron arose deliberately,
took away the sewing, deftly con
verted it into a ball and tossed it
up among the grapes, made both
small hands, little gold thimble
and all, prisoners, and kissed her
upon the dimple, upon the left eye,
and lastly upon the warm, red lips.
'Mr. Cameron, this is premature,'
said she, her cheeks glowing like
two pink roses.
'Not at all, Miss Lonsdale, you
are mine. To-morrow I will take
my place among the workers. It
will be a humble one, but sufficient
to prove to you that I am compe
tent to earn the bread and butter
of which I have spoken.'
'But Cliff'-dropping her eyes
for the first time.
'Well, Leo'-clasping the bright
face between his hands, and mak
ing her raise them again.
'Are you sure-you know how
you admire pretty women, and I'm
not pretty.'
'But you're good-and to me the
loveliest and sweetest girl in the
whole world.'
One Thursday afternoon, two
days after the dialogue on the back
porch, Miss Leonora Lonsdale, as
she was wont on Thursday after
noons, being the executive ability
of some charitable society that met
on that day, stepped into a some
what crowded street car, looking
neither to the right or left, but
straight before her, in her usual
manner.
Once seated, she abstracted her
pocketbook from her satchel and
took from it the inevitable five
cents, when she became aware of a.
hand stretched out toward her-a
man's hand, a handsome hand, a
familiar hand. Her eyes rested on
it an instant and then traveled up
the arm to which it belonged until
they met the face-half hidden by
a slouched, broad-brimmed hat-of
the conductor, Cliff Cameron !
She demurely placed her fare in
his hand and, her enemies would
have said, the cast in her eye beams
more impish than ever.
'The day ?' said the conductor in
a low, firm, business-like tone, not
a gleam of intelligence lighting up
his big, blue eyes.
'Six months from date,' replied
Leonora, in the same tone, as she
dropped her pocketbook back in
her satchel.
"MAYBE."-"Yes, sir, it makes
me awful mad," a man was saying
on a Michigan avenue car yester
day. "I ordered the meat at 8
o'clock this morning, and it never
came up at all. My dinner was
spoiled, my wife vexed, and T'l
give that butcher a blessing."
"It is a great annoyance," re
marked his friend.
"Yes, it is, and I'm mad enough
to fight. I gave the butcher the
order myself, so that he has no ex
cuse. Oh, I'll go for him !"
"Maybe you forgot to put down
the cash," said a man with very
long legs who sat opposite. "I
used to. beat them that way during
the war, but I can't do it now."
"Maybe you are an impudent
scoundrel!" reared the first, grow
ing very red in the face.
"Yes-maybe," sigiaed long-legs,
and he sank back and said he mere
ly threw out his remark as a sug
gestion.-.Detroit Free Press.
A young female traveling accord-'
eon-player was observed sitting on
a doorstep last Thursday evening
eating a raw onion. As the gentle
aroma ascended heavenward and
passed a pair of sweet blue orbs
over which brown lashes fell in deli
cate fringes, the accordeon angel
was observed to drop a tear.
Two things a man should never
be angiy at-what he can and what
he cannot help.
The commentary of a severe
friend is better than the embellish
ment of a sweet-lipped flatterer.
ACTS PASSED BY THE GENE
RAL ASSEMBLY AT THE
EXTRA SESSION OF 1877.
AN ACT to make appropriations
to meet the ordinary expenses
of the State Government for the
fiscal year commencing Novem
ber 1, 1876.
SECTION 1. Be it enacted, by the
Senate and House of Representa
tives of the State of South Caro
lina, now met and sitting in Gen
eral Assembly, and by the author
ity of the same, That the sum of
$143,100 be, and the same is here
by, appropriated to pay the sala
ries of the executive and judicial
officers of the State, and the clerks
and the contingent expenses of
the executive and judicial depart=
inents for the fiscal year corn
mencing November 1st, 1876, that
is to say:
First. For the salary of the
Governor, $3,500; for the salary
of the Governor's private secreta
ry, $1,275; for the salary of the
Governor's messenger, $300.
Second. For the salary of the
Lieutonant-Governor, $2,500.
Third. For the salary of the:
secretary of State, $2,100; for thd
salary of the clerk of the secretary
of State, $1,275; for the porter in
the office of the secretary of State,
$100.
Fourth. For the salary of the
eomptroller-general, $2,100 ; for
clerical services in the office of
the comptroller-general, $2,550, if
so much be necessary.
Fifth. For the salary of the
State treasurer, $1,875; for cleri
cal services in the office of the
State treasurer, $2,475.
Sixth. For the salary of the ad
jutant and inspector-general, $1,
200; for the clerk of the adjutant
and inspector-general, $900.
Seventh. For the salary of the
attorney-general, $2,100; for the
salary of the clerk of the attorney
general, $1,200.
Eighth. For the salary of the
State superintendent of education,
$1,875 ; for the salary of the cek
of the State superintendent of edu
cation, $900.
Ninth. For the salary of the
Chief Justice of the Supreme
Court, $4,000; for the salaries of
the two associate justices, $7,000;
for the clerk of the Supreme Court,
who shall perform the duties of
librarian of said court, $1,000 ; for
the State reporter, $1,000 ; for the
attendant upon tbe library and
the rooms of the Supreme Court,
said attendant to be appointed by
and removable at the pleasure of
said court, $100; for the purchase
of books for the library of the 5S1
preme Court, $300, to be paid on
the order of the Chief Justice.
Tenth. For salaries of the eight
circuit judges, $28,000 ; for the
salaries of the eight circuit solicit
ors, $12,000.
Eleventh. For the salary of the
keeper of the State House and
State librarian, $500 ; for thbe sala
ries of~ two watchmen for the StatE.
House and grounds, $300~ each.
Twelfth. For the salary of the
superintendent of the State Luna
tic Asylum, $2,000; for the salary
of the superintendent of the State
Penitentiary, $1,600 ; for the sala
ry of the physician of the State
Penitentiary, $500.
Thirteenth. For the salaries of
the county suditors, $20,300.
Fourteenth. For the salaries of
the county school commissioners,
$9,750, if so much be~necessary.
Fifteenth. For the salary of the
healthb officer of Charleston, $1,000;
for the salary of the health officer
of Georgetown, $400 ; for the sala
ris of the health officers of Hilton
Head nind St. Helena Sound, $500
each ; for the expenses of main
taning quarantine, $1,000 ; for
the keeper of the Lazaretto, $400.
Sixteenth, For ~the contingent
fund of the Governor, $10,000 ; for
the contingent fund of the State
treasurer, $200 ; for the contin
gent fund of the secretary of State,
$200; for repairing and rebinding
certain books in the office of the
secretary of State, $300, to be paid
o2t of any monley in the treasury
not otherwise disposed of ; for the
contingent fund of the State su
nntendent of education, $200;
for the contingent fund of the at
torney-general, $200; for the con
tingent fund of the comptroller
general, $200; for the contingent
fund of thbe adjutan t an d inspector
(eneral, $100; for the contingent
fund of the State librarian, $200 ;
for the contingent expenses of the
Supreme Court, $450 ; for the ex
penses of litigation in the office of
the attorney-general, $5,000, to be
paid upon the warrant of the
comptroller-general, uponl the ap
plication of the attorney-general;
for printing books and blanks for
the county treasurers and auditors,
and all other papers necessary for
the collection of taxes, $2,000, to
be isursed upon the order of the
conptroer-geeal; for the pay
ment of accounts for publishing
t.he State treasurer's monthiy
statement for the fiscal year 1876,
1877, $500.
SEC. 2. That the sum of $101,
300 be, and the same is hereby,
appropriated for the support and
maintenance of the penal, charita
ble and educational institutions of
the State, exclusive of common
schools, for the fiscal year com
mencing November 1, 1877, as
follows:
First. For the support of the
State Penitentiary, $25,000, if so
much be necessary, to be paid on
the warrants of the comptroller
general, on the application of the
superintendent, approved by the
board of directors.
Second. For the support of the
State Lunatic Asylum, $50,000, if
so much be necessary, to be paid
on the warrants of the comptroller
general, on the application of the
superintendent, approved by the
board of regents.
Third. For the support of the
State Orphan Asylum, $1,500, in
addition to the amount already
paid for the present fiscal year, to
be paid on the order of the board
of trustees; for the Deaf, Dumb
and Blind Asylum, $5,000, to be
paid out on the warrants of the
comptroller-general, upon the ap
plication of the chairman and sec
retary of the board of commission
ers of the deaf and dumb and
blind.
Fourth. For the Catawba In
dians, $800, payable on the war
rants of the comptroller-general,
on application of the agent.
Fifth. For the salary of the li
brarian of the State University,
who shall have charge of the
buildings and the grounds, 8500 ;
and for insurance and repairs of
the buildings, $1,000, to be paid
on the warrants of the comptrol
ler-general on application of the
librarian.
Sixth. For the payment of in
terest on bonds of the State Agri
cultural College and Mechanics
Institute, $7,500, to-be paid in ac
cordance with the law establishing
the same.
SEC.- 3. That the sum of $10,000,
if so much be necessary, be, and
the same is hereby, appropriated
for the public printing of the two
houses of the General Assembly
for the regular session of 1876,
and the special session thereof
that was begun to be holden April
24, 1877.
SEc. 4. That $100,000, inclusive
of the amounts of the proceeds of
the poll tax, for the support and
maintenance of public schools, be,
and the same is hereby, appropri
ated, $1,000, if so much be neces
sary, of which shall be .expended
in printing blank forms for the
nse of said schools, to be disbursed
on the order of the State sulperin
tendent of education; and the
State superintendent of education
is hereby authorized and directed
to apportion the amount so appro
priated upon the basis of school
attendance, in the several coun:
ties of the State, for the scholastic
year ending June 30, 1876; and
the school commissioners of the
several counties are hereby in
structed to apportion the school
funds of their respective counties
upon the basis of school attend
ance in the several school districts
of their respective counties. Pro.
vided, This act shall not be con
strued to repeal an act to provide
for thbe payment of past due school
claims in the several counties in
this State, approved March 3
1874. Provided further, That ic
other tax shall be levied or col
lected for the maintenance of free
schools in any county or townshir:
in this State. Thbe count.y treas
urers of the vaious counties are
hereby authorized and required tc
pay school claims arising from de
ficiencies out of any surplus f'unds
in their hands in the order in
which said claims arise.
SEC. 5. That the sum of $50,000
be, and the same is hereby, appro.
priated to pay deficiencies of sala
ries for the fiscal year ending Oc
tober 31, 1876, said salaries to be
paid pro rata.
SEC. 6. Tfhat the sum of $1,000, ii
so much be necessary, be, and the
same is here by,appropriated for thbe
purcharse of one hundred copies of
each of the sixth and seventh vol
umes of the new series of the Su
preme Court Reports; for furnish
ing statio nery for the Executive de.
partments under an act relative to
contracts for the Executive depart
ments of' the State Government,
and for the General Assembly, the
sum of $2,385, if so much be ne
cessary ; said sums to be paid iupon
the warrants of the comptroller
general.
SEC. 7. That the amounts ap
propriated for- the payment of sal
aries, in the first and second sec
tions of this act, shall be payable
ontly; and the amount appro.
priated for contingent funds as
required on the warrants of the
comptroller-general on the appli
cation of the various officers enti
tled to the same: Provided, That
the amounts and vouchers upon
which such app)lications aro mtade
shall be filed with the comptroller
nal, before he issues his war
rants upon the State treasurer for
the payment of the same.
SEC. 8. 'That the moneys herein
appropriated to be used as con
tingent funds, and for other pur
poses, by the various officers of
the State Government, shall be duly
accounted for by said officers, who
shall make a detailed statement of
the disposition made thereof, to
the General Assembly, at the next
regular session, on or before De
cember 1, 1877: Provided, That
no officer authorized to make con
tracts or draw funds from the said
appropriations, shall expend or
make contracts expending more
than has been appropriated for
any purpose by this act.
SEC. 9. That the sum of $4,000, if
so much be necessary, be, and
the same is hereby, appropriated
to pay the balance of per diem
compensation and mileage due
the members of the last General
Assembly for the regular session
of 1875-76. For payment of war
rants of the comptroller-general
issued for stationery for Senate
committee rooms and clerk's of
fice, regular session 1876, $800, to
be paid out of the phosphate roy
alty, or any other funds not other
wise appropriated.
SEC. 10. That the sum of $6,000,
if so much be necessary, be, and
the same is hereby, appropriated
to pay the balance of per diem
and salary compensation of officers
and employees of both houses, due
for the reguiar session of 1875-76,
to be paid out of the phosphate
royalty or fees of the land com
mission.
SEC. 11. That any balance of
specific levies heretofore made and
not needed for the same, shall be
subject to the draft of the comp
troller-general, by the approval of
the Governor. to be used in pay
ment of deficiencies in appropria
tions.
SEc. 12. That all acts and parts
of acts, inconsistent with this act,
be, and the same are hereby, re
pealed.
AN ACT to carry into effect the
fourteenth section of article 4.of
the constitution relating. to the_
judiciary.
Whereas the constitution of this
State provides: "Judges of the
Circuit Courts shall interchange
circuits with each other in such
manner as shall be determined by
law :"
SECTION 1. e it enacted, by the
Senate and House of Representa
tives of the State of South Caro
lina, now met and sitting in Gen
eral A'.sembly, and by the author
ity of the same, Thbat to carry the
said constitutional provision into
effect within sixty days after the
#assage of this act, the Chief Jus
tice of the Supreme Court, or, in
case of his death, resignation, ill
ness or absence from the State,
the presiding Associate Justice,
shall cause to be made a roster of
the Circuit Judges of this State,
and shall assign each of the said
Circuit Judges to hold the fall
terms of the courts of one of the
circuits for the year 1877, com
mencing with the First Circuit,
and the Judge assigned to hold
tbe courts of the First Circuit
shall continue to be assigned to
the other Circuits, in regula.r or
der. as the Circuits stand in their
n-uimerical series; and the other
Circuit Judges shall be assigned to
hold the terms of the courts of the
other circuits, as the Chief Justice
may select them, in the numerical
order of the circuits following, so
that the Circuit Judges shall reg
ularly rotate in holding the terms
of the courts in all circuits of the
State.
SEC. 2. That between the first
and fifteenth of December, 1877,
and during the same period of each
succeeding year, the Chief Justice
or presiding Associate Justice from
the said roster shall make the as
signment of Circuit Judges to hold*
the various courts in all of the
circuits for the whole of the suc
ceeding year, in such order as will
effeet a constant interchange of
circuits; and immediately upon
any such assignment, as provided
in this and the preceding section
of this act, the Chief Justice or
presiding Associate Justice, shall
cause official notification to be
given to the Circuit J udges of the
order of their assignment, and
shall cause a notice to be inserted
in two daily newspapers, one in
the city of Charleston and one in
the city of Columbia, for two
weeks, of the order of such as
signment ; and said notification
shall be sufficient notice to the
said Circuit Judges, and they shall
proceed to hold the terms of the
courts in the circuits to which
they are respectively assigned, at
the times appointed by law for
the various Circuit Courts therein
to convene.
SEc. 3. Whenever any Circuit
Judge, pending his assignment to
hold the courts of any circuit,
shall die, resign, be disabled by
illness, or be absent from the
State, or in case of a vacancy in
the office of Circuit Judge of any
ircuit, the Chief .Tustice. or Dre
siding Associate Justice, may as
sign any other Circuit Judge, dis
engaged, to hold the courts of
such circuits, or to fill any ap
pointment made necessary by
such vacancy.
SEc. 4. No Circuit Judge shall
absent himself from this State
without leave first granted in
writing by the Chief Justice or
presiding Associate Justice.
SEc. 5. Any Circuit Judge who
shall fail to neglect to hold the
term or terms of any Court of
General Sessions or Common Pleas
in any circuit to which he may be
assigned until the business of said
courts shall have been disposed of,
or the end of the term or terms
arrive, or shall fail to recognize
and obey the order of the assign
ment of the Chief Justice or pre
sidi Associate Justice, or shall
violaTe the 4th section of this act,
upon any reliable notification of
the same, the Attorney General
of the State shall, by official com
munication, bring such violations
of this act to the notice of the
General Assembly at its first ses
sion, and such Circuit Judge shall
be held amendable to proceedings
for neglect of duty, as provided in
article 7, section 4, of the consti
tution.
SEc. 6. That section 26, titlp 3
of the code of procedure, chapter
122 of the revised statutes, and all
other acts or parts of acts conflict.
ing with the provisions of this
act, are hereby repealed.
Approved May 31, 1871.
THE MAN WHO GREW.
One day last week a Detroit
mechanic was going down Michi
gan Avenue, and became favora
bly impressed with a pairof pants
hanging in front of a cheap cloth
ing store. The price was low, the
goods seemed all right, and he
made up his mind to purchase.
"I gif you de word of Andrew
Shackson dat dose pants are shust
like iron," said the dealer; "I
warrants dem efery dime."
After three or four days' wear
the purchaser found the bottoms
of -thae trons rcrawing. lowardv
his knees. It was a bad case of
shrinkage, and he got mad and
went back to the store and said:
"You swindled me on these
pants! See how .they have
shrunk 9"
Thbe dealer looked him all over,
pulled at the pants, felt his head,
and finally said :
"I shall gif you one tousand
dollar a month if you will travel
mit me."
"Hlow-what ?"
"You are shust growing rigbt
up at the rate of two inches a day,
and I dakes you aroundt der goun-.
try on exhibition. Dose pants are
shust as long as efer, but you haf
grown oudt off dem."
"I don't believe it !" shouted
the man ; "I am forty years old,
and quit growing long ago !"
"I gif you de word of Andrew
Sbackson dot you vas growing."
"I don't care whose word you
give ! I say these pacts have
shrunk nearly one foot !"
"Has de top of dose pants
shrunkt down any ?" softly asked
the dealer.
"Why, no.
"Shouldn't de vaistbands shrink
down shust as quick as dose bot
toms shrink up ? If it's in de
cloth, one part should shrink like
de odder, eh ? When I sold you
dot~ elegant pair of pants for three
dollar, I don't suppose you vas
growing so fast, or I1 shall haf put
zum strap)s on der bottoms."
"Well, I don't like this way of
doing business," said the pur
chaser.
"Shust like me. If I sells sucb
elegaLnt pants as dose to a man,
and he grows oudt of dem, it dam
ages my trade. You baf damaged
me five hoonered dollar, but I haf
low rent, pays cash for mein
goods, and can make you dis fifty
cent tie for five cent."
The man walked out to the
curbstone, and turning around
shook his fist and said :
"You ai'e a liar and a cheat, and
I dare you out here !"
"Such dings sink deep into
mein heart," sighed the dealer, -as
he took down his pipe. "I dinks
I sell out dis peesness and peddles
some vases aroundt. Den when I
sells to somebody it makes no dif
ference how much dey grow."
[Detroit Free Press.
On one occasion when Henri
Monnier was acting in the prov
inces a terrible storm came up
just before the hour announced
for the performance to begin, and
when the curtain rose the audience
was found to consist of one soli
tary man. Nowise disconcerted,
Monnier advanced to the foot
lights and addressed the public:
"Excuse me, sir, but would you
mind coming up here and sitting
on the stage ? It will fatigue my
voice less if you are close beside
me, and you can see just as well.
Or whbat do you say to our closing
the theater and going to the cafe~
next door to play dominoes?"'
AtDVRTISING R.ATES.;
Advertisements inserted at the rate of
S1.00 per square (one inch) for first insertion
and 75 cents for each subsequent insertion.
Double column advertisements ten per cent.
on above.
Notices of meetings, obituaries and tributes
of respect, same rates per square as ordinary
advertisements.
SpceialN~~c in Local column 15 cents
per line. .
Advertisecments not marked with the num
ber of insertions will be kept in till forbid,
and charged aiccordingly.
Sp'ecial contracts made with large adver
tisers, with liberal dedclncions on above rates.
JOB PRIXrTI.1W
DONE WITH NEATNESS AND DISPATCHH
TERMS CASH.
BUYING A BRIDAL "TROS.
'One day last week a powerful
young man, to whose right arm
was linked a tall, thin girl of'
eighteen, with a sharp nose, pale
blue eyes, and hair the _color of
an old knife handle, entered a
Lake Avenue store with both eyes
full of business. As the pair took
seats the clerk intimated that he
was ready to make bottom prices
on any goods in the store, from
the finest silk to the glaziest cal
ico.
"This is kinder delicate business
for us," replied the young man,
casting sheep eyes at the girl.
'"That is to say-that is-yes,
ahemn!" stammered the clerk.
",But I guess we'll live through
it, Molly, and so here goes. What
we want is a trossy for this gir
a bridal trossy I believe they call
it."
""That's exactly what they call
it," replied the clerk. "And, if
you please, tell me what article
you want and I'll give you the
lowest figures."
The pair looked at eachote