The Newberry herald. (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, October 27, 1875, Image 1
THE HERALD
IS PUBLISHED
EVERY WEDNESDAY MORNING,
At N.wberry, 8. C.
BY TOS. 7. GRENKER
Etor andpift"rietor. broisrin ilb etI ilfri
2vrMS6 ,w per wf"3flU% ies ihlbrl eutoso bv ae
uTralinAve-A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, MiscellayNesAgiutr,M kt,&cPRYFI6
Tpe e is stopped at the exPiration Ofe etinse a
time for whh it is paid.et ens
ugThX mark denotes experatiOc Of s* WEDNESDAY MORNING, OCTn 15 c
TE W&Y TO WOO.
Don't be in too great a hurry;
Hnries never pay;
Take ymr4lme-a wary general
Always feels his way.
Do not pull your line too quickly,
Rather let it play.
Toke her sometimes to a concerl.
.Soetiames to a ball;
Sometimes spend a pleasant evening
Sometimes only call;
Smetimes 'twill be far the wisest
to-goat all!
Do not meet your would-be rivals
WIthijalou frown;
Show ba tbat you don't care two-pence
11rauyinan in town.
Praise her other beaux; then surely
She will run them down.
Sidhep-pats not too cosy
$O Ia' t as ar;
tit& o plea her-plate; -
Flowers for her hair
Somethig that will show you chose it
Falreit for the fair.
Vex her sometimes-constant sunshine
Is so very tame
JutaJttIe.das of water
Brightens up a flame;
Loptb* doesn't A and spltter
Isn't*orth the name.
Thea at last, some quiet evening,
IMooORt nights are stale,)
Drop Into her eosy parlor,
Looking rather pale.
&&a to hide your woe unuttered,
fttbe sure to fai.
Enstiangof adistant journey .
.-s-aeethaffconfessed;
Darkly speak of hidden sorrow
That forbids you rest;
Whisper that 'ti hard to leave her
M4eepefkt,'tis -best.
Then if she should blusb and tremble
With a shy surprise
If tbere is no rougish sparkle
Twinkling in her eyes
Then-then tel the old, old story
Told first 'neath Eden's skies.
Id*tt*b j{tex2.
KIETTYS TRUAL.
0
A SKETCH OF SUTHER NEGo LUI
For at least ten days Miss Fli
the housekeeper, had reported ow
little maid, Kitty, in a most unusua
state of mind and body. Her shin;
black skin was becoming absolutel;
palld-hrer' broad mouth, alway
pa-e in rather noisy laughter
was closed, and her full lips tremu
lgsehie ap-tt was gone entire
ly-she was literally starving her
self to death. The state of hea
mind was most distressing, for he
utter wrotchedness was painful t<
behold, and her silence as to iti
eanse something remarkable in Onl
formerly so communicative. Ou
curiosity was considerably excite<
bsuch a phenomenon, and ou
- by the. -sud
hatour excellent chambermaid
w~conduct while with us ba<
been unexceptionable, had been ai
rested and carried off for trial be
fore our village magistrate. Wha
could it mean? Kitty's bosom frient
a half-simple girl about her ow:
age-sixteen-gave us the desire
information as she passed the hous
weeping bitterly, following in th
wake of the constable who wa
leading poor Kitty away.
"Me and Kitty was at -the Car
street meeting-house Sunday 'for
last; and Kitty laughed at som<
thing, and one of the colored me
-a big man in the church-he sa
Kitty keep him from saying hi
prayers, and he meant to have he
put in prison for it. Kitty andra
have been scared to death ; an
now they done come ad took m
poor dear Kitty ! Oh,oh, oh!"
Thiis, then, was the explanatio
6f the whole mystery. Our merr
little darkey had been to the colore
Methodist meeting house tw~o weeh
befoe and had disturbed one <
the elders, a cross grained old bael
elo)r negro, who had no eye for ou
maid's trim little figure and gooi
natured face, but a sharp one fc
an innocent female who might dii
turb his lordship's devotion. H:
threatening glances, as we afterwar
heard, had only increased her mea
riment, and he had left the churc
vowing vengeance. Behold the r,
sult!
We were all a good deal trouble<
for Kitty was quite a pet with u
and so sister Louise hurried off i
search of a gentleman friend whoa
she persuaded to accompany h4
to the magistrate's office. Arrivir
at the miniature court-house, th4
found a crowd of negroes assem
bled before the door, looking grave
and important, and so barricading
the passage it was with some diffi
culty Mr. Jones forced his way in.
He returned in a few minutes to
say that the trial would not come
off for an hour or two, as the sher
iff had gone out to the country to
summon some witnesses, fifteen or
twenty of whom had already arriv
ed and were waiting to bear testi
mony to Kitty's depravity. She had
been i3iformed she could send for
any one who wished to testify
in her favor, but had replied no one
knew anything about it but Susie,
and Susie was on the spot, still
clinging to her friend, who, like her
self, was frightened out of her wits.
The fine which would be assigned
in case of conviction would not be
less than five or more than twenty
dollars, but if Kitty could not pay
it, she would be sent to jail. Sister
Louise begged Mr. Jones to remain
there-help poor Kitty through the
trial and pay the fine for her, so that
she might return home in peace.
The room in which the magistrate
sat was small, with low ceiling and
but little ventilation. Crowded as
it now was with negroes, many in
thir shirt sleeves, just as they were
found at their work in the fields, the
atmosphere was anything but agree
able. The judge, a low, fat man,
with a red face, and heavy brow
surmounted by spectacles, was seat
ed by a table on which lay several
large, dusty law books, the leaves of
whichhe was turning in a pompous
manner-as if the matter to be
discussed before him was one of
life and death, and the fates arbi
ters. Behind the door, on a three
legged stool, sat Kitty, with the
faithful Susie crouched at her feet,
both cold and trembling; opposite
them were arranged the witness
es, around whom thronged a num
ber of darkeys of all ages and both
sexes.
"We regret to keep you waiting,
Mr. Jones, but we have had to send
into the country again, to attach
George Wilson, another witness for
the plaintif."
~The gentleman bowed, and was
about to speak, when he felt some
one pull his sleeve.
"Mass' Jones, is I got to 'tach
anybody!" asked Kitty in an alarm
ed tone.
The poor girl's fears were soon
relieved on the subject, and the
judge,again turning the leaves of his
book, remarked: "I find Miss Cath
anine Taylor guilty, according to
the accusation brought against her,
of quite a grave offense, in disturb
ing a lawful public assembly, and
the fine is a heavy one for a person
in her circumstances. Shall I read
what Blackstone, in his commnenta
ries, says on the subject !"
Mr. Jones, expressed his thanks,
but begged he wouldn't trouble
himself. Just at this moment a
ragged little urchin ran in, and hur
rying up to the judge's table, said:
"Mister, I say, please give me two
cent's worth of gingersnaps."
BThe judge rose with all gravity,
Bwalked to a small shelf behind him,
took the cakes from a plate stand
ing there, handed them to the boy,
and receiving his pay, pocketed it,
while he resumed the discussion of
the case before him, referring con
stantly to his booksuntilagain inter
rupted by one of the witnesses, a
gawky hungry-looking, half-grown
boy, who pulled the forelock of his
hair, as he said: "S'cuse me, massa ;
but will you please gib me a cent's
worth of yer bull's eyes r"
S"Certainly, my friend," replied
the suave vender of sweets, as he
walked with the dignity of a lord
chancellor to his shelf, took down
~the glass jar of candies, and return
ed with the required quantity of
bull's eyes.
The boy, put down a five-cent
piece, and while the judge searched
his pockets for four pennies to
give as change, he went on with his
discourse upon what Blackstone said
of offences similar in character
to~ that charged to have been com
mitted by Miss Catharine Tay
lor.
The twentieth witness for the
plaintiff having at last arrived, the
juidge opened the case with all due
.solemnity, and requested Mr. Wil
lim o take the witness stand and
taisgerievance.
The church elder, a tall, severe
looking colored man, with white
hair and beard, stepped forward
and began his speech.
"May it please your honor, Sun
day 'fore last I was at my church, as
every 'spectable colored person
should be when there's pieaching. I
showed the folks to their proper
places, and put that wicked young
person, Miss Catharine Taylor, in a
comfortable position, where she
could attend to her duties like a
Christian, and then I retired to my
own seat to enjoy myself in hearing
the preacher, and joining myself in
the prayers; but you b'lieve me, sir,
that wicked young 'oman, the pris
oner at the bar, disturbed my de
votions with her laughing and chat
tering, so that it was no use to try
and 'tend to my own Christian bus
iness any more. She disturbed the
w1ole congregation, please your
honor, and I know 'tis the duty
and pleasure of you gentlemen as
religates the laws to see that the
laws is obeyed: and I can prove
by myself and these colored gentle
men here that she's broke 'em-ev
ery one-and that she deserves to
go to the court jail, and live on
bread and water 'till she learns
manners.
"Thank you Mr. Williams; that
will do. You have stated your case
clearly, and-ahem-laconically.
You see, Mr. Jones, your little maid
is prone to err, as regards her re
ligious duties, like the rest of us,
and, also, must pay the penalty of
her guilt. Mr. Wilson will you
please come forward and testify to
the best of your knowledge and be
lief ?"
George Wilson, a jolly-looking
darkey, left the ranks and came for
ward, grinning from ear to ear.
He was duly sworn, and then ask
ed if Mr. Williams' statement was
correct; if he himself was at church
on that fatal night ; and if he was
interrupted in his devotions by Kit
ty's laughter.
"Ya.as, massa, I was at church
dat night, for I always goes to meet
in' if I kin git dere, and 'tis sartin
sure Kitty she dere too, and she
got to laughing like, and 'sturbed
folks mightily. Ebery word Brud
der Williams say is true ; but, mas
sa, she ar'n't nothing but a gal yet,
and gals will hab deir fun, makes
no difference whar dey is."
"That will do, Mr. Wilson. We
see your evidence is against the
prisoner, butyourkindheart recoin
mends her to our mercy on account
of her youth."
"I s'pose you say de right ting,
massa; but I ain't got no book larn
in' like dese young ones, nowadays,
as goes to school. I know one ting,
massa, I tells de truth, and nothin'
but the truth. I ain't pomsions
myself, like some folks I know ; I
don't put on airs jist 'cos I knows
I'se free man now-lives to myself
and works for myself and puts de
money straight in dis ole pocket,
whar it stays till de ole woman
comes and steals it all; and, bless
you don't leave me 'nuf to buy my
'baccer."
A half-dozen other witnesses were
called, all of whom testified clearly
against Kitty.
"If Mr. Williams is satisfied, I
tunk we might now examine the
witness for the defendant. A bad
case against your client, eh, Mr.
Jones ?"
Susie, the half-witted friend of
Kitty, like a hunted deer, sprang
to her feet when her name was call
ed. Some one had whispered in her
ear (we afterward discovered) that
her eyebrows would turn white if
she told a falsehood while under
oath, and the girl was wild with
terror lest such a misfortune should
befall her.
"Miss Susan, what can you say
in favor of your friend i Did she,
or did she not, laugh and distuib
the worshipers at the meeting ?"
"I-I dunno sir. She didn't do
nothin' as I see but laugh a little
bit. I b'lieve she laugh-maybe
she didn't-please, sir, don't send
her to jail! 'Deed, sir, she didn't do
nothin' to hurt nobody !"
"Your client's friend's evidence is
rather against her-eh, Mr. Jones ?
we had better not ask her any more
questions. Miss Catharine Taylor,
you are allowed to speak in your
own defense if you wish it. My
friends, the law is just, and allows
a prisoner this privilege. Doesn't i1
Mr. Jones?" said the judge, wipinj
the perspiration from his foreheai
with a red silk handkerchief.
Kitty had to wait until the judg4
had sold two cents' worth of pepper
mint drops before she could speal
for herself.
"All I've got to say is that
didn't 'sturb nobody at church
I'm not going to lie about it. ]
did laugh, but I didn't 'sturb no
body!"
"Hush, hush! The prisoner i,
not obliged to criminate herself
The law is very explicit on tha1
point-eh, Mr. Jones ? You knov
what Blackstone says ?"
Mr. 'Jones didn't know Black
stone's opinion and didn't care t<
hear. Would the judge please pro
ceed with the case?
"All that remains is to sum ul
the evidence, and decide according
to law."
"Could I cross-examine some o:
the witnesses, and see if it is nol
possible to throw a better light ox
the whole affair ?"
"Certainly, Mr. Jones; as yot
wish to act as volunteer counsel fo
the defendant, the law allows you
this privilege."
Mr. Jones asked George Wilsol
to appear again.
"You say Kitty laughed. Dit
she laugh loud or noisily ?"
"Wal--no, massa, I ain't nevei
hear her. I see Brudder WilliamE
frown,and I looked'round, and I se,
her smile again, pretty broad, ani
put up her fingers and look at Brud
der Williams through dem."
"But did she disturb you a
all?"
"No, massa, she ain't 'sturb i
none. Gals is gals-dey ain't lik<
boys."
Another and yet another witnesi
was asked if Kitty's laughter wai
loud enough to interfere materiall:
with their devotions, and a litti
cross-examination always resulte<
in the final confession that the part
had seen Brother Williams' discom
fort, but had felt none themselves
Meanwhile the crowd of specta
tors, all of whom were in deep syn
pathy with the light-hearted Kitty
listened admiringly to Mr. Jones
with eyes starting from their sock
ets, so intently did they hang upoi
his words, as he summed up the tes
timony.
"If the judge will allow me to ex
press my opinion, I should fror
what we have heard during the tria]
say that Catharine Taylor has bee1
guilty of irreverence in a place o
public worship ; and that in so de
ing she annoyed one of the elderi
whose place it is to see that al
deport themselves properly on th
occasion of a service in the church
Beyond the mere effect on Mr. Wil
lams' feelings as church-warden, n
harm seems to have been done. N
one else seems to have heard an
noise, or been induced even to loo
towards the prisoner, except fror
having their attention drawn to th
spot by their elder's evident discon
fort Such being the case, the plair
tiff cannot be said to have prove<
his statement-namely, that Kitt
disturbed the worship of the cox
gregation. I move the indictmer
be quashed."
"You are right, Mr. Jones, an
Miss Catharine may thank you fe
having argued her case so admirt
bly. You have the law on g
side; the accusation of disturbin
a public assembly .is not proved
therefore we can only reprimand th~
prisoner for her acknowledged il
reverence, and dismiss her."
-A burst of applause from ti
spectators followed, and a crow
collected around Mr. Jones to shak
hands with him, and thank him fo
"speaking so beautifully for Kitt
-just like a born lawyer, for a
the world !"-while David Williair
strutted out of the room in a stal
of virtuous indignation ; and Susic
the only one of the throng wh
was not laughing boisterously, kel
appealing to Kitty to know if he
eyebrows were white.
An indiana girl wanted to see
her sweetheart really loved he
and she got a boy to yell "ma
dog" as they were walking ou
The lover flew over the fence at
left her to be chewed up, and s]
went right away and married
RULES FOR THE CARE OF
THE EYES,
- When writing, reading, drawing,
sewing, etc., always take care
that
(a.) The room is comfortably
cool, and the feet warm;
(b.) There is nothing tight about
the neck ;
(c.) There is plenty of light with
out dazzling the eyes;
(d.) The sun does not shine di
rectly on the object we are at work
upon;
(e.) The light does not come from
in front; it is best when it comes
over the left shoulder;
(f.) The head is not very much
bent over the work;
(g.) The page is nearly perpendic
ular to the line of sight; that is,
that the eye is nearly oppo
site the middle of the page, for an
object held slanting is not seen so
clearly.
(h.) That the page, or other ob
ject, is not less than fifteen inches
from the eyes.
Nearsightednessis apt to increase
rapidly when a person wears, in
reading, the glasses intended to en
able him to see distant objects.
In any case, when the eyes have
any defect, avoid fine needle-work,
drawing of fine maps, and all such
work, except for very short tasks,
not excoeding half an hour each,
and in the morning.
Never study or write before break
fast by candle light.
Do not lie down when read
ing.
If your eyes are aching from fire
light, fromlooking at the snow, from
over-work, or other causes, a pair
of colored glasses may be advised
to be used for awhile. Light blue
or grayish blue is the best shade,
but these glasses are likely to be
abused and usually, are not to be
worn except under medical advice.
Almost all those persons who con
tinue to wear colored glasses, having
perhaps first received advice to
wear them from medical men,
'would be better without them. Tray
Seling vendors of spectacles are not
to be trusted ; their wares are apt
Sto be recommended as ignorantly
and indiscriminately as in the times
of the 'Vicar of Wakefield.'
If you have to hold the pages of
:Harpers Magazine nearer than fif
'teen inches in order to read it easily,
it is probable that you are quite
near-sighted. If you have to hold
it two or three feet away before you
can see easily, you are probably far
1 sighted. In either cases, it is very
e desirable to consult a physician be
fore getting a pair of glasses, for a
-misfit may permanently injure your
eyes.
0 Never play trick with the eyes,
as squinting rolling them.
The eyes are often troublesome
awhen the ~stomach is out of or
e der.
Avoid reading or sewing by twi
Slight or when debilitated by recent
illness, especially fever.
L-Every seamstress ought to have
ta cutting out table, to place her
work on such a plane with re
d ference to the line of vision as to
rmake it possible to exercise a close
scrutiny without bending the head
or the figure much forward.
gUsually, except for aged persons
or chronic invalids, the winter tem
e perature in work-rooms ought not
e.. to exceed sixty or sixty-five degrees.
To sit with impunity in a room at a
.e lower temperature, added clothing
a will be necssary. The feet of a stu
:e dent or a seamstress should be kept
r comfortably warm while the tasks
yare being done. Suppers are bad.
1 In winter the temperature of the low
a er part of the room is apt to be one
e hundred and eighty or one hundred
e, and eighty-five lower than the up
o0 per.
>t It is indispensable in all forms of
r labor requiring the exercise of vis
ion of minute objects,that the work
er should rise from his task now and
if then, take a few deep inspirations
r, with closed mouth, stretch the
ad frame out into the most erect pos
t. ture, throw the arms backwards
d and forward and if possible, step to
ie the window or out into the open
a air, if only for a moment. Two desks
or+94 tbei a room are valuable for
i student ; one to stand at, the oth
or to sit at.-Dr. Lincoln in the San
itarian.
A HUNT FOR THE POLE. t
1
1OW THE ENGLISH VOYAGERS HOPE TO J
REACH IT.
A London letter respecting the i
English Arctic expedition gives I
;hese points of interest:
When the Alert will have travel- f
ed as far northward as she can pos- (
iibly go, six sledges will be started ]
n the direction of the long-looked
lor goal. Five of these will contain t
)ight men each and the remaining I
>ne twelve. Food and other neces -
aries for forty days subsistence k
will be taken along.
During the first five days the
arge sledge will supply all the
thers with provisions, and at the I
,nd of that time a depot will be estab
lished, at which the large sledge will i
deposit all its rations except what
will suffice to maintain them daring
their return to the ship. The five
sledges will continue the trip north
ward for another five days when a
second depot will be established, ra
tions deposited there, and another
of the sledges return.
The four sledges continue the ]
journey, and at the expiration of
five more days a sledge turns back,
and -but three proceed. Thus the i
party is diminished to the extent
of one sledge every five days until I
one sledge alone is left to proceed,
having on board its original supply
of forty days' rations. In each case
the returning sledge picks up pro
visions enough at each depot to last
it until it reaches the next. When
the last sledge will have been twen
ty days out from the last depot
it must return, whether the grand
discovery be then made or not. -
If an open sea be encountered
by the explorers two boats, mount
ed on sledges, will be brought into
requisition. They are rigged with I
masts and sails, and can be made i
use of with a favorable wind, in
relieving the strain upon the dogs.
The most dreaded obstacle in
the way of the sledging parties will
be the gaunt Polar bear. As many
of the party, however, can hit a
bull's eye with precision, it is ex-i
pected they will not fail to hit a
bear's when it comes in sight.
It is strange -- perhaps the
strangest of all the mind's intrica
cies-the sudden, the instantaneous
manner in which memory, by a sin
gle signal casts wide open the doors
of those dark store houses in which
long passed events have been shut
up for years. That signal, be it
a look, a tone, an odor, a single
sentence, is the cabalistic word of
the Arabian tale, at the potent magic
of which the door of the robber,
Forgetfulness, is cast suddenly wide
open, and all the treasures that
he had concealed are displayed.
Upon the memory of the traveler
rushes up the vision of his youth
ful days-the sport of boyhood,
the transient cares, the quarrels
soon forgotten,thgpains which pass
ed away like summer clouds, the
pure sweet joys of youth and inno
cence and ignorance of ill, that
never return when once passed
away.
Compact expression of wisdom
from the astute editor of the Mil
waukee News: "The biggest fool
was a girl in New York who pois
oned herself for a dry goods clerk
who parted his hair in the middle
and wore an oriode watch chain."
Two female impostors, habited in
the apparel of Sisters of Mercy,
with demure visage and downcast
eyes have been asking for contri
butions for their convent from the
merhants and brokers of New York,
and have been rarely refused.
The Lutherans of British Russia
are following the example of the
Minnonites to escape from milita
ry service. A large number are on
their way to Wisconsin to found a
colony.
"My son, put away that ball.
Do you know where the wicked
boys go who play base ball on Sun
day ?" "Yes'm, they go down by
the Fair Grounds."
A DETECTIVE'S BLUNDER.
The Virginia City (Nev.) Evening
Chronicle relates this incident ;
About two months ago a young
lawyer of this city and his newly
acquired wife were returning from
a visit to the bay. Wearied a trifle
with constant billing and cooing,
the young husband made some fee
ble excuse or other and slipped off
to the smoking car to burn a cigar
and think with a sigh of the depart
ed bachelor days when he could
spit out of the window over his
boot toes, with none to say: "Oh,
please, Steve, dear, don't!"
The bride, with rather an injured
expression, was sitting in her palace
car, musing on the waning ardor
of her Stephen, when she suddenly
discovered that she was the center
of attraction to the whole car. Two
rough-looking men were standing in
the aisle, gazing at her closely, and
then referrixig to a paper which one
held in his hands. Before the as
tonished and indignant lady could
collect her thoughts, one of the men
took the vacant seat beside her, and
with a knowing wink observed:
"A good get up, Nancy, but it
won't do, You're copped dead to
- rights this time, honey."
"Sir !" gasped the frightened
lady shrinking back into the far
thest corner.
"By the big stick," said the man,
- admiringly. "Nance, you'd ought
to a-gone on the stage. I never
see anything better done. But it
won't do. You've got to come back
with us, Nance, an' you stand a
mighty good chance of goin' over
the bay for five at shortest."
"Sir, what do you mean!" exclaim
ed Mrs. -, thoroughly alarmed
and starting to her feet. "Will no
gentleman protect me from the in
sults of this fellow?"
Half a dozen gentlemen sprang
forward at this appeal.
"Gentlemen," said the man, "jist
'tend to your own business and il
'tend to mine. I've been hunting
this bird for two months, and more,
Ive got her at last. She puts on a
good deal of style, but if you've ev
er heard of Nance Brown, one of
-the 'cutest thieves on the coast, here
Sshe is. I'd have taken her quietly,
but if she wants to make a row, it's
1her own business. rm Detective
-, and here's miy warrant."
"Oh, this is intolerable," cried
Sthe poor lady, bursting into tears
-of indignation and shame. "Gen
tlemen, my husband, Mr. -, is on
the train. Go fmd him, for Heav
Sen's sake !"
There presently appeared about
Sthe wildest-looking lawyer outside
of Stockton. The detectives grin
-ned at the vehement explanations
t of the husband, and the other offi
cer warned him to be quiet, or he
' would arrest him for interfering.
-Fortunately there were several
Virginians on the train, and they
I at once identified the lawyer as a
,~ respectable citizen, though the mar
-riage being recent, they had not
known the lady.
t The detectives were profuse in
Stheir apologies, and got out of the
car in double quick order, looking
rmore sheepish than any thief-takers
have any right to look, and swearing
that it was the strongest resem
blance they had ever seen.
SProfessor Whetstone teaches a
k school at Bastrop. He should ra
zor sharp class of scholars.
A bridge 2,100 feet long is being
I" built across Bear river, in northern
~TUtah.
. ---.-.
Comfortable quarters-twenty
five cent pieces.
t Floridaguarantees 1,000,000 pine
Sapples this season.
Germany has nearly 1,000,000
1more women than men.
A Western settler-the contents
of a six shooter.
eIf rocks ever bled they would
Sbleed quartz.
The modern galley slave-the
compositor.
k A farmer'scerib is agaWful place
for rats.
A NEGRO WITNESS IN A
GEORGIA LAWSUIT.
It was a peace-warrant case, be
ween a couple of colored gentlemen
efore a Georgia justice of the
>eace. I sauntered into the court
oom just in time to hear Uncle Zip,
he grizzle-headed old darkey who
vas prosecuting, give his evidence
rom the witness stand.
In respnse to a question from
he Court, old Zip gave his trous
rs an extra hitch and turned
oose.
"Yer see," said he, "I war a-set
in' wid Tilda, an' she war a-settin
vid me; an', ef de troof mus be tle,
re uns war bofe uv us a settin' ter
redder."
"Go on," spid the Court.
"Yassur," replied Zip. "Well
&arse Jedge, it war at Tilda'E
Louse. I war a settin-a-settin' in
le do'; an' Tilda, she war a-settin
n de do'; an' I war a-settin as I
ole um afo."'
"Never mind about that," said
he justice impatiently. "Go on
vith your story."
"Yassur. -Well, den, yer see
ilda, she war a-settin' in de do';
m' I were a settin' in de do."'
"What happened next?" askei
Iis Honor.
"Why nutiin neber happened
ary time," said Zip. "Yer see we
ms war bofe a-settin' tergedder'
"Oh! bother ;" interrupted the
3ourt, "Go ahead and make ou
rour case. Confine yourself to th4
Inestion."
"Yassur. Well, ef yer mus' hat
t, I war a-settin between um'"
"Between who ?" interrogated thi
,ourt.
"Between who? Oh? yassur,
!ontinued the ewperating witness
IIgot um now. Yer wants ter knov
es' who I war a-settin' wid ?"
"Bless your soul, yes !" said th4
ruitice, very emphatically.
"Well, Marse Court, dat sorte3
nixes up tings. Unnerstan' m(
,ow, rse a-tellin' yer de troof
Deacon ob de Baptist church I is an
[ caddn't tell a lie ef Iwanted to
Well, den, Tilda war a-settin' "
"Hold up!" cried His Honor
seizing a ponderous la w- bo ok
'You've got to stop that everlast
Lng 'settin',' or I'll settle you
l'ell me at once how many of yoi
were at this woman's house."
"Dat's jes' what I'm comin' at,
said old Zip, very calmly. "Ye
see, in de fs' place, dar war Til
"Good!1" remarked the court.
"An' Tilda, yer see, war a
mean she war in de do.' An' dai
was me next. I war a-I war in d
do', and' we ware bofe'
"Dry up!" said the C our t
"Now tell us where the defendan
was."
"Dunno war he war," said Zip
scratching his head doubtfully
"Do you mean to say ?" aske<
the Court, with a rising infiectiox
"that the defendant wasn't pres
ent?"
"Sartinly," replied Zip. "Ain'
got ter dat pint yit awhile. I'se te
kin' yer back ter de beginnix
more'n two yeah ago ; an' as I wa
a tellin' yer, we war a-settin', an
a-settin."
"Mr. Bailiff, adjourn this court !
shouted His Honor, purple with in
dignation. "And make these partiE
settle their difficulty out in the bac:
yard."
The investigation came to an ab
rupt close, and the last I saw c
old Zip he was complaining loudl;
because he couldln't~ tell the en
tire history of his case- W. 1~
Reed in the Independent.
A spendthrift says that he ha
lived beyond his means so long tha
now he hasn't the means to live, an
yet he means to live somehow.
A New York tailor says that if al
men would pay cash down fc
clothes the tailors could knock thir
ty cents off of prices.
If the mosquito who left our nos
in such a hurry that he forgot hi
bill, will call, he can have it, and n
questions will be asked.
If you wish to enjoy constitution
al liberty, don't wear a pull-baec