The Newberry herald. (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, August 25, 1875, Image 1
A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, -News, Agriculture, Markets, &c.
Vol. XI. WEDNESDAY MORNING, AUGUST 25, 1875. No. 34.
T-H E HE R A L D
IS PUBLISHED
EVERY WEDNESDAY MORNING,
At Newberry, S. C.
BY TH09, F. GRENEKER,
Editor and Proprietor.
Terms, $2.50 per efnnum,
Invariably in Advance.
gy The paper is stopped at the expiration of
time for which it is paid.
o7 The >4 markIdenotes expiration of sub
scription.
A SONG OF SUMMER.
Come to the wildwoods wild,
Thou city-biding child
o come to th, meadows mild.
Come where the world is still,
Where the eagle sweeps at wiU
O'erthe green embosomed hill.
Where the great oak rears its head
From cool and mossy bed,
Apd,the earth and sky do wed.
Where the bright sun brightly beams,
And men live on in dreams,
And maidens sing to streams.
Where the jaunty blue-bells nod,
And wand-like waves the golden rod,
Aeb1ue4yed violet gems the sod.
Come, ye weary-hearted, come,
And_listen to the busy hum
Of bes;an bear the pheasants drum.
Swing the rifle to the shoulder,
Tramp the lowlands, climb the boulder,
Teach the grizzles to be bolder.
Hunt the buffalo and the deer,
Chase the grey fox to his lair,
Handle well the knife and spear.
e as fe cbe;
dneve %fot fonxdledthee
3oeond &a will the green wood tree.
E. D. P.
MR. DINKIE'S REVENGE.
-0
Naturally, my dear, a body
meets with many singular people
in the course of keeping boarders.
I think the queerest folk that
ever were, have come and boarded
with me, since Mr. Johnson left
me with three little children to
4arn my living by the most un
grateful task tbat ever was even
gu11up&n a woman's shoulders ; for
there are people that never think
you can do enough for 'em, and peo
ple that haven't any considera
fery ur ftettugs, and t a tur
key .happe.ns to be tough, ask if it
wasever known for certain what
became of the pair that went into
Noah's ark, and the like of that,
you know; and there are people
thaLt have whimsies, and want
raw- mneat or scorched cinders,
and people that can't bear any
thing fried, and people that won't
touch pork, and people that take
airs and don't pay, and people
that are so far from what they
pretend to be that you have to
mention to'them that their rooms
are wajkted2 and all sorts of p.eople
who do all sorts of queer things.
One of the queerest things I
ever knew to be done by any
boarder was done, I must say, by
Mr Pinkie.
Me came to board with me about
livf years ago, just at Christmas
time.. He was a bachelor about
fifty years old, I should judge, and
his face was smooth-shaved and
he wore a mahogany-colored wig,
and he was rather particular in
his dress. He'd just met with a
disappointment-not in love, mind
you, but in money.
He had made himself a slave to
a rich old uncle for twenty years,
expecting to be his heir ; put up
with all sorts of treatment ; been
huffed and scolded and sneered at
morning, noon and night ; never
said a word; but just went on
grinningand rubbing his hands
and speaking about his "dear
uncle," until the old man died,
when he left him only a hundred
a year for his life. Alter that he
came to board with me.
There was boarding with me
at the same time a maiden lady
named Swiffles. She was about
as old as Mr. Dinkie, and she was
very rich. She wore diamonde
in her ears so big and so, shiny
that I1 wonder the thieves let her
come ho~me alive with 'em on.
And she had the same kind of dia
monds on her fingers. She had
three pets, a dog with curly woo]
and a kitten all white except a nose,
and a green-and-red parrot. Day
times she had them in her room,but
she hired an extra room for -them~
and they slept in it and it was comi
cal to see them. Poll in her cage
and the dog and kitten in a sort o;
basket-cradle, with refreshment
~s~t 'em in ease they shonid be hun
She wasn't very handsome, but
she was of a very good family;
and though she wanted extras
she paid for 'em. I remember
asking her once why she hadn't
married, and she said she always
felt that the male sex was beneath
her, and that she couldn't promise
to obey any of 'em. She asked
me if I didn't feel to despise 'em
myself; and I said some of 'em I
did, and some again I didn't.
She had written a lecture, I
think for the puspose of putting
'em down, and she was ago
ing to deliver it in my parlor
one night, only I says to her, says
I, "Miss Swiffles," says I, "I'm
only a poor widow, depending on
my boarders for a living, and as
most of 'em are of the male sex, it
might give 'em offense to tell'em all
them dreadful things about them
selves, and how you despised 'em
so, Miss Swiffles." So she gave up
the idea, and I was thankful.
Well, after Mr. Dinkie came, I
noticed Miss Swiffles and he used
to argue together a good deal.
Sometimes, too, he used to see her
to church andvto lectures. I had
my eyes about me, and I noticed
that she used to dress herself up
v e r y smart indeed after he
came.
Then he came and asked me
how much I reckoned she had a
year. And she asked. me what I
calculated he owned. I told him
that I'd heard she had ten thousand
pounds, and I told her what~he had,
and how he got it. I couldn't tell
what she thought, but I made up
my mind that there'd be a match
between 'em for I've always no
ticed the more a lady talks against
the gentlemen the more apt she is
to have the first one that makes
her an offer. Yes, I'd made up my
min4-to that when, one day, I was
sitting on the porch outside the
back parlor window, stoning cher
ries-for if the girl .does it she
puts more in her mouth than she
does in the pan-when I heard Miss
Swiffles come into the parlor, and
about three minutes after, Mr.
Dinkie he came in.
I'd like to remark, just here,
that far from me a listening I'm
above it ; but I wasn't called upon
to go away, and I couldn't help
hearing, and this is what I did hear:
I"Miss Swiffles," said Mr. Dinkie,
"I am rejoiced to find you alone."
"Ah !" said Miss Swiffles.
"I have long wished for such an
opportunity."
"Indeed," said Miss Swiffles.
"You can guess why !" asked
Mr. Dinkie.
".No, sir, I can't," answered Miss
Swiffles.
"Is this the coquetry of your
sex?" asked Mr. Dinkie. "Have
you not seen that I adore you ?"
"No," said Miss Swiffles.
"I have hiddegx my emotions
better than I supposed I could,"
said Mr. Dinkie. "My dear Miss
Swiffles, here on my knees allow
me to offer you my hand and heart,
and beg you accept them and the
life long devotion of-"
"Get up, Mr. Dinkie," said Miss
Swiffles. "Don't make a goose of
yourself. I understand that you
ask mue to marry you ?"
"Adorable,. creature," said Mr.
Dinkie, "you put the question I
would have asked into the most
concise form."
"I'll put the answer into the
same form," said Miss Swiffies.
"No !"
"You cannot expect me to relin
quish my hopes at once," said Mr.
Dinkie. -"May I ask why you are
not disposed to consider my pro.
position ? Will you not consider
it, and answer it more at leis
ure ?"
"I have considered,"' said Miss
Swiffles.
"But why ?" said Mr. Dinkie.
"Well, if you want to know
why," said Miss Swiffles, "because
I lhke to be my own mistress.
I have plenty of money as you
know, and three charming.pets,
who are worth more than any six
men I ever met. I didn't marry
when I was a good-looking girl,
because evnthen I couldn't be
sure any man wanted me and not
Imy property; and now I am an
Iugly old woman, I shan't throw
myself into the arms of the fir,st
. forn-nter, who has nalenlated
that an old maid will marry any
one who asks her. You waited for
dead men's shoes twenty years,
I understand. Now, probably,
you wish to wait for mine ? That's
why I say 'No,' Mr. Dinkie."
Next thing I- heard was the
door slam. Mr. Dinkie was gone,
and Miss Swiffies was laughing to
herself on the sofa.
I couldn't help it. I just peeked
into the window, and says I:
"Hurrah, Miss Swiffies, three
cheers I It was as good as a
play."
"Tisn't the first man I've served
so," said Miss Swiffles rubbing
her nose. "0, they are a mean
set, these men," and away she
walked, with her diamonds glitter
ing.
We didn't see much of Mr.
Dinkie for some days, and then
he told me he was going abroad
with an invalid gentleman.
So, of course, I knew I was go
ing to lose a boarder. But I was
surprised when one afternoon 1 re
ceived this note:
"My DEAR MADAM: Upon the
eve of my departure upon a jour
ney whence I may never return,
I desire to feel myself in harmony
with all with whom I have had any
slight difference. Therefore, will
you permit m'e to give a little sup
per to several members of your es
tablishment? You yourself, of
course, Miss Swiffies, Mr. Rogers,
and a friend of my own who will
join us. Time, to-morrow eve
ning. An answer will oblige,
Yours truly,
BENJAMIN DINKIE."
Of course I agreed, and when I
saw Miss Swiffies she said the man
had a better temper than she
thought. And so that very eve
ning we all walked into Mr. Din
kie's room. He had had the bead
stead put away, and hired an ex
tension table. And theie was Mr.
Dinkie with a dark complexioned
gentleman and two waiters.
Mr. Dinkie did the honors beau
tifully. He made us a little speech,
and he said all sorts of fine things.
Aad such a supper-all hot, and
very curious; pies with queer
crusts, all ornamented,andragouts,
and dear knows what, and wines
and things. We all ate heartily
and Miss Swifiles heartiest of
all. We enjoyed ourselves, I tell
von, and the dark gentleman, Mr.
Mosler, sang us songs afterward.
At twelve o'clock, Mr. Dinkie
arose.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he
said, "the time for parting has
come. I must be on board the
steamer in two hours. Mosler,
the same obligation, lies on you.
We part perhaps forever. Adieu."
Hie shook hands all around.
When he camne to Miss Swiffles he
gave her a little note.
"No, he ain't," said I.
Miss Swiffes went up stairs very
slowly. I saw her wipe a tear
away as she went, and 1 stopped
to put out the hall lamp.
I h a d done it and bolted the
front door when all of.a sudden the
house was filled with shrieks. It
was Misis Swiffles' voice I knew,
and she was screaming for help.
"She's found a burglar in her
room to murder her for her dia
monds at last," I said to myself,
and away I rushed and up came
all the boarders, and we stood in
the room where she stood, holding
a letter in her hand, and shrieking
like mad.
"O0! where is he ?" I1 asked.
"Where's the burglar ?"
"Go after him!I" she cried.
"Catch him-bring him back
Mr. Dinkie, Mr. Dinkie !"
"He's told her he'd commit sui
ide on her account. "0, dear! 0,
dear !"
"O0! I'm so ill," cried Miss
Swiffles-"so ill! Open the window!
I'm poisoned 0! Ah !"
"Poisoned !" says I. "0! 0!
!"
"Read that," says she falling
over upon the sofa, very sick in
deed. "Read-that !"
"Mr. Rogers," says 1, "I havn't
got my specs."
Mr. Rogers took the letter and
read it aloud :
"You ridiculous old fury, did you
believe that a man could forgive
such insults as you heaped upon
me? I have had my revenge upon
you and' that puppy Rogers. I
am only sorry I was obliged to in
clude that simple old soul, Mrs.
Jhnsn Yon enjoyed your suD
per, didn't you ? I hope so. Mos
ler and I enjoyed the cooking.
Mosler is a fine cook. Parrot
pate, poodle pie, kitten ragout, are
good dishes. We took care not
to cat of them, but you have had
your fill. I entered your pets'
apartment at eight, and had
them stolen and hot upon the ta
ble at eleven. Mosler has kept
a hotel and knows a thing or two.
"I wish you joy of your supper,
and a good night's rest. You were
right about my motive in propo
sing to you. I'm really glad
you said no. By, by.
BENJAMIN DINKIE."
Well, my dears, it was all true.
The pots were gone, and I've no
doubt we had our fill, as Mr. Din
kie said, of parrot pate and poo
dlo pie and kitten ragout; and
Mr. Rogers and Miss Swiffles were
very sick, and I had to send for the
doctor; and that's the way Mr. Din
kie had his revenge.
C? ttUntous.
SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION
There are doubtless many cases
where fire originates from slow
and gradual oxidation-usually the
proof of the inception of these fires
is lost in the entire conflagration
that ensaes. I write this account of
a recent one of this class that has
transpired, at the request of some
underwriters. It is the only case
I have found, in the experience I
have stated, where the proofs sur
vived-to be seen by the claimant,
the adjuster and the public. The
fire occurred on the 7th of June, at
Marshall, Mich., t h e property
damaged and destroyed was owned
by Smiley and Henderson, gentle
men of known probity and integri
ty. The goods consisted of a fine
s t o c k of drugs and medicines,
paints, oils, varnish, &c., the usual
country retail prescription stock.
The insurance was about one-half,
or less than the cash value of the
stock.
A box containing fine planing
mill chips of shavings, that had
been saturated on the floor, with
linseed oil, turpentine, the leakage
of casks and barrels, containing
the same, was pl a ced most
thoughtlessly upon the head of
a barrel containing boiled linseed
oil. These chips are often used for
packing goods, and they were so
received, by S. & H. with goods
that they had purchased.
This class of goods, with var
nish, and wines and liquors for
medicinical use, were kept in the
rear part of the store ; a slight
wooden partition, about seven feet
high had been constructed to sep
arate them in a slight degree from
the other stock.
The store is very tight, no open
ings or panes of broken glass ex
isted, and this circumstance alQne
prevented a large confiagration.
It was closed at the usual ti le at
night. At four o'clock the next
morning, a person who was pass
ing observed dense smoke escaping
from the key hole and crevice un
der the door. He ran'to Dr. Smi
ly's dwelling, procured the keys
telling him that he believed there
was fire in his store. Upon its be
ing opened it was found to be fill
ed with dense, pungent black
smoke,and the fire was nearly out.
The box with fine chips had disap
peared ; the boiled linseed oil was
nearly consumed ; the staves were
burned down witlgn fifteen inches
of the lower heading, and only a
few gallons of the oil was left.
The staves of both a barrel of
wine and of whiskey, that stood
very near to the barrel of oil were
carbonized so that they could be
perforated with a bodkin ; the
barrels were valueless. Near by
stood a barrel of turpentine. The
combustion was sufficient to draw
the varnish from it-to blister it.
Theore was not a place in the en
tire store, as large as the head of
a pin that was not covered with a
coating of lamp-black-underlaid
was a fine vapor from grease.
The cabinet drawers that contain
d r u g s and various substan'ces
did not protect their contents.
This smoke appeared in a thin de
posit in each drawer, blackening
brimstone, bi-carbonate of* soda,
and all the contents of the draw
er, doing the same kind of dam
ge in their ces.
How did this fire occur? Wha
caused it? The store was tQ<
well fastened when it was opene<
to suppose it was the act of an in
cendiary; besides, the charactei
of the combustion was more sug
gestive of some interference t<
extinguish the fire than any hu
man agency to excite it.
I think that there can be n(
reasonable doubt that it was pro
duced by the vegetable tissues
saturated with oil and turpentine
spread over considerable surfac(
and producing a species of gradna
oxidation. The oily mass absorb
ed'and condensed the air withit
its pores. The temperature wa.
not elevated rapidly,. not enougi
so to create a flame. It burned it
this way all night.
What agency extinguished tlik
fire? Near at hand were poteni
aids to give it light, and even tc
produce explosion. The origin o:
the fire is to me much more s
wonder than its extinction. Du.
ring this long combustion the ox
ygen in the store was comsumed
-each hour it became less. The
store was so tight that no atmos.
pheric air could get in. After*. s
few hours, the atmosphere was en
tirely supplanted by different gasei
-the most prominent would b(
carbolic acid gas-this we knom
extinguishes burning substances
of all kinds. It is also incapable
of supporting the respiration oj
animals.
Here then is a fire that create
itself. Contact of. vegetable and
diying oils, with a porous carbon,
aceous substance produced the fire
It extinguishes itself (althougi
surrounded by agencies to giv<
it giant strength,). because th(
room is vcry tight and retains th<
carbonic acid gas untill all com.
bustion ceases. The fire went oal
as a lamp often will in the botton
of a well if the same is filled witt
carbonic acid gas. This test ii
often made before sending men t(
work in wells. If the lamp won'
burn, the man can't live there.
Let every merchint, and mann
facturer who reads this profit b
the information and see to it tha
the oil waste is take'n careof, an<
that it is not allowed to come ii
contact with any porous vegetabli
fibrous matter. In places wher<
oils are kept pans under the fan
cets are the best. Sawdust o:
wood-shavings should never bi
used. Sand or gravel is good
yet not as desirable as pans, whici
save the oil.
The conditions that produc
spontaneous combustion may occu
at any time, unless great care i
used, and when they do a fire ma'
be predicted with certainty.
Gunpowder does not destroy it
self-the match has to be applie<
by another agent-and it report
to us the mischief it has done in
stantly.
Spontaneous combustion insidu
ously creates the "Prometheal
heat" that noiselessly, but effect
ively sets fire to our property an<
destroys it.-H. T. STRINGHAM~
Adjuster.
MAKING A BEGINNING.-RemeII
ber, in all things that if you d
noti, you will never come t
an end. The first weed pulled 11
in the garden, the first seed set i
the ground, the first dime put i
the savings bank, and the fire
mile traveled on a journey are a
important things; they make
beginning, and therefore give
hope, a promise, a pledge, an assui
ance that you are in earnest wit]
that vyhich you have undertaker
How many a poor,idle, erring, bei
itating outcast, is now creepin
and crawling his way throug
the world, who might have held u
his head and prospered, if, instea
of putting off his resolutionsc
amendment and industry he ha
only made a beginning. After th
beginning, persevere to the end.
(Blousehold .Magazine.
The opinion is be co mi n
strengthened every day that th
man who first made a shirt to bu
ton behind did more for the wo:']
than one who has discovered fiy
comets.
No heroes at all for us, if thei
herism consists in being not mel
t. THE CHEERFUL FACE.
'Next to sunlight of heaven is
. the sunlight of a cheerful face.
There is no mistaking it-the
bright eye, the unclouded brow,
the sunny smile-all tell of that
which dwells within. Who has
not felt its electrifying influences ?
one glance at this face lifts us at
once out of the mists and shad
ows, away from tears and repin
ings, into the beautiful realms of
hope. One cheerful face in a
household will keep everything
bright and warm within. Envy,
hatred, malice, selfishness, despon
dency, and a host of evil passions
may lark around the door, they I
may even look within but they
never enter and abide there-the
cheerful face puts them all to
flight.
It may be a very plain face,
but there is something in it that
we feel we cannot express, and its
cheerful look sends the blood dan
cing through our veins for very joy.
We turn toward the sun, and its
warm, genial influence refreshes
and strenghens our fainting spirits.
Ab, there is a world of magic in
the plain cheerfulface! It charms
us with a spell of eternity and we
would not exchange it for all the
soulless beauty that ever graced
the fairest form.
It may be a very little one that
r we nestle upon our bosom or sing
to sleep in our arms with a low,
sweet melody; but it is such a
bright, cheery face ! The scintil
lations of joyous spirits are flash
ing from every feature. And
what a power it has over the
household, binding each heart to
gether in tenderness and love and
sympathy! shadows may darken
around us, but somehow this face
ever shines * betweed. And it
shines so brightly that the shadows
cannot remain, and silently they
creep away into the dark corners,
and remain there till the cheerful
face is gone.
it may be a wrinkled face, but
it is all the dearer for that, and
not the less bright. We linger
bnear it, and gaze tenderly upon it
and say; "God bless the cheerful
face !" We must keep it with us as
Slong as we can, for home will lose
Smuch brightness when the cheer
ful face is gone.
rAnd after it has gone, how the
Sremembrance of it purifies and
softens o ur wayward nature!
SWhen care and sorrow would snap
our heartstrings asunder, this
Swrinkled face looks down upo n
Sus, the painful tension gz:ows light
Ser, and the way is less heavy. As
is the spirit, mind and disposition,
so are the features.
iA BaU.-Don't read the an
nexed extract to your wife, young
man, because it is likely to make
her cry.
The girl is generally educated
on novels, and her first disappoint
ment comes in the quiet inidiffer
ence of the husband after the
honeymoon. "Y ou love me no
longer," said a bride of a few
months to her beter half in gown
and slippers. "Why do you say
that, pass ?" he asked, quietly re
Smoving a cigar from his lips.
D "You do not caress me and call
P me pet names; you no longer
a seek so anxiously for my company;
was the tearful answer. "My
tdear," continued the aggravating
[wretch, "did you ever notice a
a man running after a car ? How
a he does run-over stone, through
-mud, regardless of everything, till
he reaches the car, and he seizes
-. hold and swings on. -Then hie quiet
Sly seats himself and reads the pa
gper." "And what does that mean?"
h "An illustration, my dear. The car
P is as important to the man after
d he gets in as when he is chasing
it, but the manifestation is no
d longer called for. I would have
e shot any one who would have put
himself in my way when in pur
suit of you, as I would shoot any
one now who would come between
g us, but as a proof of my love you
e insist on my running after the car.
- Learn to-smoke, my dear, and be
d a philosopher. The two combined
e will clear the brain, quiet the
nerves, open the pores and improve
tbc digestion."
1.We love inst and wise men.
THE INTENSITY OF DIFFERENT
COLORED LIGHTS.-An experiment
recently made at Trieste, to test
the intensity of various colored
lights, is worth recording in these
columns, as it is naturally a mat
ter of some interest to photograph
ers. The experiment was a
practical one and designed for
the purpose of discovering how
far lights of different colors pene
trate darkness, and whether they
would be of any value for the lan
terns of light-houses. Of course a
white light is seen at a much great
er distance than any colored illumi
nation, and it is singular, too, as
many of our readers have, no
doubt, remarked. when viewing a
fountain illuminated by various
colors, that when the white light
is thrown upon the drops these
appear at their best. At ftrst we
may admire the violet; then a ru
by light is thrown upon the falling
water, and we pronounce in favor
of that; then, perhaps, green, or
ange, and blue illumination follow,
all securing our admiration in turn,
until, at last the white light is again
turned on, and its brilliancy and
intensity give at once finer effects
than the others. In the experi
ment at Trieste, half a dozen lan
terns with carefully selected glass,
and all furnished with oil and
wicks of a like character, were
set burning on the beach, and then
observations were taken by a par
ty of sailors in a boat. At half a
league distant the dark blue lan
tern was invisible, and the deep
blue one almost so, so that there
could be -no doubt of their unservi
cableness for light-houses or bea
cons. Of all the colors the green
was visible for the longest distance
with the exception of the -red,
-which ranked next to the white in
brilliancy. It is only the green
and the red-such, indeed, as our
railways make use of-that are ca
pable of employment, and the
green light the Trieste authorities
only recommend in the vicinity of
whito and red lights, as from a
short distance an insolated green
light begins t o look like a
white one.
(The Photographic News.
EGYPTIAN MAXIMS .-Bev. Dr.
J. P. Thompson, in his "Notes on
Egyptology," in the Bibliothica
Sacra gives the following maxims
from the ancient Egyptians :
Do not take on airs.
Do not maltreat an inferior ;
respect the aged.
Do not save thy life at the ex
pense of another's.
Do not pervert the heart of thy
comrade if it is pure.
Do not make sport of those who
are dependent upon thee.
Do not maltreat a woman,
whose strength is less than thine
own ; let her find in thee a protec
tor.
If from a humble condition
thou hast become powerful and
the first in the city of.opulence,
let not riches make thee proud,
for the first Author of these good
things is God.
If thou art intelligent bring, up
thy son in the love of God. If he
is courageous and active and in
crease thy property, give him a
better recompense. But if the
son whom thou hast begotten is a
fool, do not turn thy heart away
from him, for he is thy son.
A SUFFEaING CAPITALIST.--"Yes,
these are awful hard times," said
a La Salle street broker, as he
stood on his steps, talking to a
firiend last evening.
"Mighty tough, I expect," was
the reply.
"Why," said the broker, "I've
been investing and investing for
a year back-a pile of money, I
assure you-and I find I've been
losing like fury."
"Indeed ?"
"It's as true as I'm living. If
I've lost a cent I've lost more than
$300,000."
"No I"
"Certain," continued the broker,
"and what cramps me, I feel the
worst is that fully $150 of it was
my own !"
Then the friends retired to a
secluded spot and "smiled."
[Chicago Journal.
Test is a decisive trial.
Advertisements inserted at the rate of $1.00
per square-one inch-for first insertion, a.d
75c. for each subsequent insertion. DouM!e
column advertisements tenper cent on abo- e.
Notices of meetings, obituaries and tributes
of respect, same rates per square as ordinary
advertisements.,
Specialnotices in tocal. column 15 ceits
per line.
Advertisements not marked with the num
ber of insertions w1iR be-kept in till forbid
andinged aecordingly.
Spca otrachs made ihlgeav
ti th above rates.
Done with Neatness and Dispatch.
Terms Cash.
AN ECCENTRIC JUDGE-LAWYERS
SHOULD NOT BE ASsES.-Judge
Underwood, of Rome, to four
young lawyers who had just pass
ed an-xamination in-kie-eeu*e
"Young gentlemen, I want to say
a thing or two to you. You have
passed as good an examination as
usual, perhaps better; but you don't
know - anything. Like t h o s e
young fellows just backfrom their
graduation college, you think you
know a great deal. That is a
great mistake. If you ever get to
be of any account, you will be sur
prised at your present ignorance.
Don't be too big for.your breeches.
Go round to the justices' - court.
Try to learn something. Don't be
afraid. Set off upon a high key.
You will, no doubt, speak a great
deal of nonsense, but you will have
one consolation; nobody will know
it. The great mass of mankind take
sound for sense never mind about
your case-pitch in. You are
about as apt to win as lose. Don't
be ashamed of the wise-looking
justice. He don't know a thing.
He is a dead beat on knowledge.
Stand to your rack fodder or no
fodder, and you will see daylight
after awhile. The community gen
erally supposes that you- will be
rascals. There is no absolute ne
cessity that you should. You may
be .smart without being tricky.
Lawyers ought to be gentlemen.
Some o f them don't come up to
the standard and are a disgrace
to the fraternity. They know miore
than any other race generally, and
not much in particular. Theysion't
know anything about sand stones,
carboniferous periods, and ancient
land animals known as fossils.
Men that make out they know a
great dearton these-subjects don't
know much. They are humbugs
superb humbugs. They are ancient
land animals themselves, and will
ultimately be fossils. You are dis
missed with the sincere hope of
the Court that you wlli not make
asses of yourselves.
[Courier-Jourital.
THE DUNKERS' LovE FEA~ST.
The Reading Penn., Times 'says
that the annual love feast iof the
Dunkers is in progress on the farm
of Mr. Johnson Miller, near Litiz,
on the line of the Reading and
Columbia railroad. The exercises
are held in a barn, the . northern
side of which is occupi.ed by the
women and children, and on the
south side the men. sit, entirely
searated from their wives, sisters,
and sweethearts by a stout plank
platform five feet high, their hats
laid on an extension of boards,
which serve as a very convenient
hat rack. Bishop David Garlick, of
Mount Joy, directs the religious
services, assisted -by three or four
preachers from other counties.
The services are conducted in the
English and German language, ser
mons, singing, and prayers alterna
ting in the two languages. No
hymn-books are used, the words
being lined out by the preacher in
the singing tone of the olden time,
and the congregation heartily re
sponding. There are five meeting
houses in the district, one near Li
tiz, one near'Manheim one at Pe
tersburg, one at :Mount Hope, and
the other ot Graybill's near Penn
ville. A large concourse of people
are in attendance. The general
expenses axe paid by voluntary
contributions, and the provisions
are furnished by the members ac
cording to their means. None of
the clerical order receive any
salary. The place of worship is
delightfully cool, and its rude and
novel appearance in no wise de
tract from the fervor or effective
ness of the services. The prac
tice of the men kissing each
other is, one of the striking fea
tures of their salutations.
A farmer on the road between
harlton and Worcester, Mass.,
having been terribly annoyed by
drummers, put up a sign: "No
sewing machines wanted here; got
one." It was of no use ; the next
drummer wanted to see the ma
chine, "and perhaps h-e'd hitch up
a trade." So the farmer put up:
Gt atihe small-pox here." -That