The Newberry herald. (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, November 25, 1874, Image 1
ItI
A Family Companion~, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriutr,-res c
Vo.X. WEDNESDA.Y MOIRINING,5 NOVEM1BER 25, 84 o
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At' ASTRIS.
EDMUND C. STEDMAN.
How know we but in yon shining space,
Some gracious Being with 11is peers aflight
Seraphic in the scale of life, and blest
Even as we guess the happy angels are
But such a fortunate one, upon the course
To some fair star, may check his mates
awhile,
And point to this our Earth, and gently say:
"In that dark planet-slowly round its sun
Turning an arid girtb, while either pole
Is ice, bat midway on whose rugged sides
There springs a thick-set verdure into growth,
Forccd by the vapors of perturbed seas
Within that world a race less blest than we,
Dwell, and eke out their lives with sordid
toil.
A sad and feeble folk, of narrowed sense;
Their forms are weak and wan, and grinding
pains
Subdue them, burning heat and biting cold;
Their simply counted years are brief as few,
And into sunless graves successive tribes
In mournful generations wander down.
Yet that eternal knowled-ge, unrevealed,
Which breathes through all created things,
and lifts
Ourselves thus nearer to its Source unknown
Something of this is theirs, feeding desire
To question more and so to work and thrive
After their fashion; and the secret laws
Of beauty and of force they seek them out
And bend them to their use, and then-they
die,
A sad, sad race, a melancholy world!
Since what is sent to light their little round
Breeds in them vain ambitions, and they
-earn
For immortality, and haply find
Something within of an immortal sort,
To feel, and know, and love, were it but
pure.
So dream they empty dreams of after-life,
Build temples for a warring host of crees,
And strive against their fate, and strive in
vain.
Is it not pitiful? They die-they die!
They lose the individual hold of thougt;
And with their corporal substance, all the
train.
Of petty memories that made their life
Returneth whence it came. They cannot
know
How low, and poor of action, is their part
In the unending scale-where even we,
With all our clear and high intelligence,
Long-living, wisdom-crowned, are yet no
more
Than the fine dust of Heaven's trackless
way!"
-How know we, but this hour some glorious
- one
May thus compassionate and gently scorn,
As we the beasts, our unrequited lives,
And curious pity hold the happy throng
High-poised, upon their course to some fair
star. -Galaxy.
H EAVEN.
Oft weeping memory sits alone,
Beside some grave at even;
And calls upon some spirit flown,
Oh, say, shall those on earth our own,
Be ours agaIn-in heaven?
Amid tholone sepulchral shades,
Where sleep our dear ones riven,
Is not some lingering spirit near.
To tell if those divided here,
Unite and known-in heaven?
Shall friends who o'er the waste of life,
By the same storms are driven:
Shall they recount, in realms of bliss,
The fortunes and the tears of this,
And love again-in heaven?
The warmest love on earth is still
Imperfect when 'tis given;
Bt there's a purer clime above,
Where perfect hearts in perfect love
Unite; and this-is heaven.
I love on earth is but "in part,"
As light and shade at even;
If sIn doth plant a thorn between
The truest hearts, there is, I ween,
A perfect love-in Heaven.
Oh, happy world! Oh glorious place!
Where all who are forgiven,
Shall find their loved and lost below,
And hearts, like meeting streams shall flow,
Forever one-in Heaven
THE TWO STARS.
i There exists a tradition that a wish will
be fulfilled if expressed while a star is fall
ing.]
It was here that we lingered, Carina,
One sweet summer night by the sea,
When the world seemed an Eden of gladness,
And only for you and for me.
It was here that your blue eyes so tender
Gave back all I whispered of love,
As we gazed at two stars that together
Were smiling in heaven above.
But your little hand trembled, Carina
We wish what was never to be
As one star fell, and only the other
Kept watch over you, love, and me.
Yon are from my side now, Carina,
I linger alone by the sea;
For my lore dream is o'er, and a shadow
Has darkened between you and me.
And I try to forget you, but ever
There smiles through the mist of my tears
Your old look of love like a sunbeam
That gleams out of dear bygone years.
And I think of the two stars, Carina,
And the wish that was never to be,
Till a voice at my heart whispered softly
Of a heaven still for you and for me.
PHYSIC.
LINES BT AN IALID.
"Don't you think you're looking ill?
Try a blister, draught, and pill!"
This on every side one hears
Each friend something volunteers.
"Ague! What cold hands you've got!"
"Fever-when your hand's so hot!"
-Contradictory advice
Gratis, dear though at the price.
"Doctor A you ought to see!"
"You should call on Doctor B!"
"Why not try the water-cure?"
"Take a Turkish bath, for sure!"
Cockalorumn's pill terrific,
Bunkum's only cough specific,
Dooham's ointment, Chousam's plaster
Still they send me fast and faster.
HowlI hate their smell and sight
I would fain be ill outright;
ITyphoid, cholera, or phthisic,
So I could get rid of physic
Physlo-phyulo-pbylo-physlo!
A LOVE STORY.
-0
BY LOTTIE.
-0
I was in a great distrCs4 of mind.
Tiore I was, with all my sum
ner clothes, and favorite books,
my mosquito netting, and fancy
work, feeling settled for the sum
mer, and my scapegrace nephew,
Harry, head and ears in love with
the daughter of our landlady.
He was just twenty-one years
of age, and had been a terror to
us ever since he came into boots
and trowsers.
He was never out of mischief,
never free from bumps and bruises
of all kinds, always in disgrace
at school, always in hot water
at bome, until he was thirteen
years old. Then he grew manish,
and nearly drove us wild, and
poisoned himself to death, with
vigorous efforts to learn to smoke.
Just as he got well over that idea,
he established a habit of falling in
love, and this habit he pursued
with an energy and go-aheadative
ness, wbich in any other branch
of business, would have made his
fortune.
He wnt to college, but colleges
are the very hot beds of sentiment
and tomfoolery, and Harry learn
ed more nonsense than Greek, in
my estimation.
However, he kept his head
above water, and welived through
it, until this vacation of which I
am speaking.
Then I packed my trunks, took
him away from Kitty Clinton, a
black-eyed divinity, who lived in
our street, and away we went to
a cosy old place in New Hamp
hire, where there was plenty to
eat, a trout brook, a huckleberry
hill, and, as I fondly hoped, no
girls.
We had been there three days,
when our landlady's daughter,
Rubie, came home from some
where, wvhere she had certainly
aquired a charming array of airs
and graces, learned to "do" her
air in the lastest fashion out,
and dress herself in a manner real
ly very trim, and becoming.
As a natural conseqnence, .Har
y fell in love with her. I knew
very well that he would, when he
invited her to go fishing with him,
and I saw them wandering away
with the basket between them,
but I was hardly prepared for the
outbreak which followed.
"I have made up my mind at
last, Annie, and nobody in the
world can change me. I am go
ing to marry," was the first shock.
"Harry Ester !"
"Yes, I am. My mind is fully
made up. Uncle Tom says there
is nothing in this world like set
tling early in life. A man with
a good wife has got the best and
surest kind of capital. Just look
at Rubie. She is as smart as a
round dozen of our city girls."
"Nonsense !"
"Oh, of course, you will call it
nonsense. I didn't expect else;
but you may as well reconcile
yourself to it, first as last, I shall
marry her. You had better write
to mother about it."
Such a case of literal indiffer
ence, I never heard. f had ex
pected at least, a little show of
humanity, but here he was, iwith
all the assurance in the world,
confessing to his unparalleled folly,
and actually asking me to write
to his mother. I did write. ]
said
"Margaret, I think the boy is
mad, and I am going to divest my.
self of every atom of responsibili
ty. He is bent upon marrying
this curly headed, rosy cheeked
country girl, and I dare say he
might do worse. But whatevei
happens, please bear in mind, that
I have no part in it."
I expected an immediate arri
val of one half of~ the family, bul
nobody camne, and I had nothing
left me to do but to watch witl
terrible misgivings, the progress
of the silliest of all love stories.
I hardly blamed him,w henlIcoalk
compose myself sufficiently tc
forget his youth and inexperience
for Rubie Blake was a pretty girl
with a nice lot of fair curls, al
her own, a complexion like th<
heart of a delicate white rose, anc
eyes as blue, and sunny, as th<
summer skies.
Then she was neat and light o
foot. and light of heart, and kep
the whole house in a glow of cheer
fulness, and she was industrious
and not at all too good to don i
long calico apron, and go out int(
the kitchen and cook, wash dishes
or iron her own collars and hand
kerchiefs. She was sensible, an<
could talk on any real sound, prac
tica1 snbjent with a mnch ease a:
any your)g lady I ever met; and
taken altogetlier, she really wasa
young lady worth knowing.
But she wasn't the girl for our
Harry, and really the world (lid
not hold one for him. H,) was
too young to dream of marrying,
and when he did marry it must be
some one-some just a little bet
ter than girls in common.
So I said, with many a sigh,
Rubie is ( good girl, and very
pretty one, too, but then she will
never do for Harry.
I watched the progress of their
affection with indignation, for
thero wasu't the slightest bashful
ness about either of them. Harry
I kissed her hand, and pulled her
, curls, and said nonsensical things
to her, under my very eyes, and
she laughed, and gave him wicked
glances that shocked me.
They rode out on moonlight
evenings, they found out all the
by places and nooks on the farm,
they sang duetts, and acted as do
people in love-like lunatics.
I delivered a lecture every
night for two weeks, and then I
got tired, and wrote letters hint
ing that it would be well to send
for us to come home.
Failing in that, I devoted my
self 'o my fancy work, and per
formed some curious feats in tat
ting and afghan stitch.
But my anxiety never ceased;
and I mentally resolved, that once
out of this dilemma, henceforth.
my nephews and nieces might
take care of themselves.
Every lane has its turning, and
just as I was in a state of absolute
despair, I came to a turning point
in mine.
One night I had retired to my
chamber, and was on the point of
going to bed, when there came a
short, sharp rap at my door.
I opened it, and IIarry entered,
closing the door behin' him.
"Auntie, I am going home. The
train leaves here at twenty min
utes past seven in the morning,
and I thought you might not get
down so early in the morning, so
1 would run in to-night and say
good bye. You can stay, of course.
as long as you please, and( when
you are ready to come home, fa
ther, or one of the boys, will run
down and see to you."
"Arc you not coming back ?" I
asked, in pci-feet astonish ment.
"No! I'm tired of these everlast
ing old hills and fields, and want a
change," he said, snapping his
handkerchief at a fly on the wall,
with extraordinary unconcern.
"Ah ! 1 thought you could live
here forever, and never car-e to
know anything more of the bustle
and turmoil of city life?"
"Well, I thought so then but I
have changed my mind, and 1 am
going home."
"And leave Ruble! What will
she do?"
"I think she is quite able to take
care of herself."
I opened my eyes in surprise.
"Why, Harry ! I thought you
was going to marry her," I said.
"I had an idea of it, but it's all
over, now."
"'What is the matter ?"
He kicked the table, and then
replied.
"I asked her to-night to marry
me, and she laughed and said that
she had been engaged for two
years to that clod-hopper who
tends the mill, up above here; and
that they had a little quarrel just
before wve came, and has only
flirted with me to torment him.
They have 'made-up,' and I can
go-'to grass I suppose."
I smotherecd a laugh, and tied
to offer cousolation, but made
such poor progress, that he went
out with something like tears in
his eves, slamming the doors, and
in many other wvays proving to
me that he was sorely hurt, and
angered.
Somebody asks, "Did he get
over it ?"
Bless you, yes ; and has had a
dozen more just s uchi spells. Even
as I write, he is walking past my
window with a charming little
girl, who is on a visit from New
York, to a friend of ours, and who
has said, 'yes,' to his ardent pro.
posal of marriage, and wears upon
her fore-finger, the very ring I
gave him ; I haven't an idea but
what the rascal has told her, he
never loved before in all his wick
ed life ; and she, poor innocent be
lieves him. -
I would like to tell her the
'whole truth ; she would not believe
mc, so let it go.
-They are all alike !
Randolph, Mass., has a shoe
string factory which turns out
annually $75,000 worth of these
useful but not very costly articles.
I The Richmond .Enquirer has a
- "Letter from Louisa" every week.
i Se'a n. court.honse.
MAGIC.
HOUDIN'S TRICKS-MORE WONDER
F UL THAN SPIRITUAL MANIFESTA
TIONS.
One of the most adroit jugglers
of the present age was Robert Hou
din, a Frenchman, who for many
vears gave fashi'onable entertain
inents in Paris. Houdin wrote his
ttobiography, and related many
Lurious feats performed by him in
his professional career. On one
>ccasion he was invited to display
is art before King Louis Phil
ippe and his court, at the chateau
>f St. Cloud. Houdin invented a
trick especially for this royal and
noble assemblage, and received un
bounded applause for his success.
He borrowe, from the king and his
ourtiers six handkerchiefs, which
e made into a parcel and laid on
the table. Then at his request dif
erent persons wrote on cards the
name of the place whither they
lesired their handkerchiefs to be
nvisibly transported. When this
W.I done he begged the king to
,ake three of the cards at hazard,
znd choose from them the place he
night consider the most suitable.
'Let me see," said Louis Phillippe,
'what this one says. 'I desire
.he handkerchiefs to be found be
:eath one of the candelabra on the
nantlepiece.' Ab! that is too easy
For a s6rcerer, so we will pass on
o the next card: 'The handker
aiefs are to be transported to the
[ome of the Invalides.' T h a t
would suit us, but it is much too
Car-not for the handkerchiefs,
but for us. "Ah ab I" the king ad
led, as he looked at the last card,
LI am afraid, monsieur Robert
Eoudin. I am about to embarrass
you. Doyou know what this card
proposes?" Houdin, with a respect
ful bow, declared that he did not.
"Well," responded his majesty, "it
is desired that you send the hand
kerchiefs to a spot beneath the
roots of the last orange tree on
the right of the avenu4e of St.
Cloud. Houdin, affected the ut
most nonchalance. "Only that,
sire ?" he said. "Deign to order,
and I will obey." The king gave
gave certain directions in .a low
voice, and immediately a number
f his attendants hurried off to the
orange tree to watch it. He then
said, "I select the orange tree."
Houdin's first business now is to
send the handkerchiefs on their
travels. So he placed them be
neath a bell of opaque glass, and
taking his wand ordered them to
fly to the spot the king had chosen.
He raised the bell, the little parcel
was no longer there, and a white
turtle dove had taken its place.
The king then walked quickly to
the door, whence he looked in the
direction of the orange tree to as
sure himself that the guards were
there, and when this was done he
began to smile and shrug his shoul
ders. "Ah ! Monsieur iR o b e r t
Houdin," he said ironically, "I fear
much for the virtue of your magic
staff." Then he added, as be re
turned to the end of the room
where several servants were stand
ing. "Tell William to dig imme
diately below the last tree at the
end of the avenue and bring me
carefully what he finds there-if
he does find anything." The tend.
ant proceeded to the orange tree.
The earth at the side of the tree
was carefully removed, and down
among the roots, after much
groping, a small iron box, eaten
with rust, was found. It bore ever y
appearance of having been in the
ground for many years. This cn
rious "find" was cleansed from its
mould and brought in, and placed
by the side of the king. The
greatest excitement and impa
tience prevailed on all sides. HIou
dn brought, perched on his finger,
the dove to the king, and around
its neck his majesty discovered a
little rusty key. At the'desire of
the conjurer he unloosed -it and
o)ened the box. The first object
that met his eye was a time-discol
ored piece of parchment, upon
which he read: "This day, the 6th
June, 1786, this iron box, contain
ing six handkerchiefs, was placed
among thbe roots of an orange tree
by me, Balsamo, count of Caglios
tro, to serve in performing an act
of magic, which will be executed
on the same day sixty years hence,
before Louis Phillippe, of Orleans,
and his family." "There is cer
tainly witchcraft abou!t this," cried
the king, and then he looked again
and found in the bottom of the
box a parcel sealed with a well
known seal of the famous Caglios
tro. He broke it and opened the
parcel, and there were six hand
kerchiefs which but five minutes
before were lying on the conjurer's
table. Was nne this tr-ink Mata
markable as the producing of "Ka
',ie King" from a dark cabinet?
1oudin was employed by the
French government to go to Al
giers on a novel mission. The
Marabout priests exercised great
influence over the natives, because
they were able to perform certain
feats of jugglery, which they pre
tended proved their divine power,
These Marabouts were enemies of
the French and encouraged turbu
lence among the Arabs. The gov
ernment thought that it might be
a good stroke of policy to send
Houdin through the colony per.
forming his miracles and demon
strating to the natives that a
French sorcerer was greater than
an Arab sorcerer. Accordingly
Houdin appeared before large aa
diences,beginning in the city of Al
geria. At the first of these per
formances he introduced a box
which became heavy or light at
his order. This box was brought
by him to the footlights and while
holding it in his hands he declared
to his hearers that he possessed
the power to dupriva the most
powerful man of his strength and
restore it at will. He invfted any
one who thought himself strong
enough to come on the stage. An
Arab of middle height, but well
built and muscular, came to his
side with great assurance. "Are
you strong?" asked Houdin meas
uring him from head to foot. "Oh,
yes," he replied carelessly. "Are
you sure that you will always re
main so ?" "Quite sure." "You
are mistaken," said Houdin, "for
in an instant I will rob you of
your strength, and you shall be
come as a little child." The Arab
smiled disdainfully. Houdin told
him to lift the box. He stooped
and lifted it without any effort,
and said coldly, "Is that all ?"
With an imposing gesture Houdin
solemnly pronounced the words,
"Behold you are weaker than
a woman; now lift the box."
The Hercules grabbed the box
quite confidently, but to his aston
ishment, it would not budge. He
attacked it vigorously over and
over again, while his countrymen
sat looking on in silent wonder,
but it resisted. He vainly expend
ed on this box a strength which
would have raised an enormous
weight, until at length, panting,
exhausted, and red with anger, he
buried his face in his burnous and
retired from the stage. Houdin
does not explain the secret of this
strange trick by which he made
bodies heavy or light at will, and
without apparently touching them,
but it was a favorite of his, and
often exhibited to his fashionable
Parisian audiences.
At the same exhibition in Al
geria of which we have written,
Houdin invited one of the audience
to come on the stage. A young
Moor, about twenty years of age,
tall, well built and richly dressed,
advanced. There was a plain ta
ble on the stage (the space between
the top and the floor being un
mistakably open) which Houdin
asked him to mount. When he
did so, Houdin covered him with
an enormous cloth cone, and in
stantly removing it, the Moor was
gone. This trick produced a
panic in the audience. Screaming,
"It is the evil one !" they clamber
ed over the benches in wild terror
and rushed out the door into the
street, where, in the public street,
rubbing his eyes in stupefaction
and wondering how he got there,
they found the young Moor.
While in the interior. Houdin
gave an open air exhibition to the
wild sons of the desert. He pretend.
ed that he was invulnerable and of
fered to let a Marabout shoot at him.
There was a great crowd,and a yin.
dictive-looking fellow came out oj
it and claimed to have the honom
'of killing the hated Frenchman
The pistols were handed to Houd
in, who called attentioo to the
fact that the vents were clear.
The Marabiut put in a fair chargE
of powder and drove the wad
home. Among the bullets pro.
duced iloudin chose one which
he openly put in the pistol, and i1
was also rammed down. By th<
same process the second pisto
was loaded. Everybody watched
with the most profound solemnity
Houdin posted himself fi f tee r
paces from the Marabout withoul
evincing the slightest emotion
The Mar-about immediately seize<
one of the pistols and, on Houdin'"
giving the signal, took a delibe
rate aim at him. The pistol weni
off, and the ball appeared betweer
the majician's teeth. More angry
than ever, the Mar-about tried t<
seize the pistol. "You could no
injure me," said Houdin; "but yoi
shall see that my aim is mor
dangerous than yours. Look a
the wall." He pulled the trigger
and on the newly white-washes
all appeared a largre Dateh 0
bloo(l exactly at the spot where
he -.iied. The Marabout went
up to it, dipped his finger in the
blood. and raising it to his mouth,
convineed himself of the reality.
When he acquired this certainty
his arms fell, and his head bowed I
on his chest as if he were aniihi- I
lated. It wa- evident for the 4
moment le doubted everything, i
even the prophet. This seemingly
incomprehensible feat. Houdin E
perforned with prepared ballk.
With bullet-mould and a bit of I
wax mixed with lampblack he had I
manufactured a very fair imitation d
bullet. Another bullet of the same I
material he had filled with blood. t
Of course, it was by slight of f
hand that he changed the bullets 0
forced upon him by the Marabout I
and substituted his own. -An
old trick enabled him to get the a
real bullet between his teeth while f
the waxen one was shattered to d
pieces. So with the second ball, f
it was shattered upon striking the 0
wall, but a spot of blood was pro. 8
duced. If Houdin had not ex- f
plained this part it would be quite
as wonderful to most people as i
the phenomena of Spiritualin, t
and could have been passed off as a
good evidence of spirit agency.
When William H. Seward made t
his tour around the world, he wit
nessed some performances of jug
glers of India that were quite sur
prising. He saw a man climb a
bare pole sixty feet high, stand
ing in the oyen air, and when
he reached the top he mysterious
ly disappeared. After a while his
feet re-appeared, then his legs and
body, and he came down. He
claimed no supernatural powers.
How did he do it? There was an
Indian juggler who had a little den
on the Bowery, in New York, afew
years ago. He was a dirty fellow,
and respectable persons were not
much disposed to ventur6 into
his plade. A gentleman told the
writer that, moved by curiosity
once, he went in. The juggler
made him sit on the floor. In a
moment two figures appearently
human, rose out of the foor in
obedience to the wand of the con
juror. They grew to the ordina
ry height of a human being. The
visitor made a motion to r;se,
when the figures sank through
the floor instantly. An examina
tion of the place betrayed no visi
ble solution to the ingenious per
formance.
HIOW TO TREAT A WIFE.
First, get a wife ; secondly, be
patient. You may have great tri
als and perplexities in your busi
ness with the world; but do not,
therefore, earry to your home a
cloudy or contracted brow. Your
wife maay have many tri als, which,
though of less magnitude may
have been as hard to bear. A
kind conciliating word a tender
look will do wonders in chasing
from her brow all clouds of gloom.
You encounter your difficulties in
the open air, fanned by the heav
en's cool breezes ; but your wife
is often shut in from these health
ful influences, and her health fails,
and her spirits lose their elastici
ty. But oh! bear with her, she
has trials and sorrows to which
you are a stranger, but which
your tenderness can deprive of all
their anguish. Notice kindly her
little attentions and efforts to pro.
mote your comfort. Do not take
them all as a matter of course, and
pass them by, at the same time
being very sure to observe any
omission of what you may consid
er duty to you. Do not treat her
with indifference, if you would not
sear and palsy her heart wbich
watered by kindness, would to
the latest day of your existence,
throb with sincere and constant
affeetion. Sometimes yield your
wishes to hers. She has prefer-'
ences as strong as you, and it may
be just as trying to yield her
choice, as you. Do you find it
hard to yield sometimes ? Think
you it is not difficult for her to
give up always? If you never
yield to her wishes there is dan
ger she will think you are selfish,
and care only for yourself; and
with such feelings she cannot love
as she might. Again, show your
self manly, so that your wife may
look up to, and feel that you will
act nobly, and that she can con
fide in your judgment.
A beau dismissed by a belle,
and an arrow dismissed by a bow,
are apt to start off in a hurry.
It seems to us babies might
drive a "spanking team."
If it seems good, a sewing ma
chine may be likened unto a kiss.
- - . + - -
jAxe ladies called "Mum" because
' thaw talk; so little ?
MARK TWAIN'S COLD. b
b
HARTFORD, CoNN., Oct. 5,1874. y
V'iss K. W. White: y
DEAR MADAM :-I regret exceed- r,
ngly being unable to accept your ft
:ind invitation (also Mr. P. G. h
)uffy's) to be present at your [
:ominencement exercises, but the a
,nnoying an4 vexatious illness b
vhich still hangs about me to- b
;ether with some business engage. p
nents, will prevent. The illness, I
o which I refer, is a severe cold fj
. took in New York last winter, it
luring the lecture season. Perhaps a,
he recital of how I tried to cure v,
his cold may serve instead of the
aw remarks you so politely asked
ae to make to the friends and pu
ils.
The first time I began to sneeze,
friend told me to go bathe my tl
eet in hot water and go to bed. I tl
lid so. Shortly after, another tl
riend told me to get up and take fi
cold shower bath. I did thO e
,so. Within the hour, another ti
riend assured me that it was poli- I
y to feed a cold and starve a fe- 81
er. I had both. So I thought it Y
est to fill myself up for the cold, t
nd let the fever starve awhile.- P
n a case of this kind I seldom do l(
hings by halves; I ate pretty t
eartily. I conferred my custom h
ipon a stranger, who had just t
>pened his restaurant on Cort- a
andt street, near the hotel, that c,
norning, paying so much for a g
all meal. He waited near me in rl
'espectful silance until I had fin- Y
shed feeding my cold, when he t
nquired if the people about New 8
Eork were much afflicted with il
olds. I told him I thcught they t
were. He then went out and took a
n his sign. r
I started up toward the office, 8
tnd on the way encountered an- 1
Ather bosom friend, who told me C
;hat a quart of salt water would I
ome as near curing a cold as any- 3
hing in the world. I hardly
,ought I had room for it, but I C
ried it anyhow. The result was C
murprising. I believe I threw up
my immortal soul. Now, as I t
give my experience only for the a
benefit of those of your friends 1
who are troubled with the distem- a
per, I feel that they will see the a
propriety of my cautioning them t
against such portions of it as t
proved inefficient with me, and '
acting upon this conviction, I warns
them against warm-salt water. It i
may be a good enough remedy, a
but 1 think it rather too severe. C
If I had another cold in the head, 2
and there was no course left me I
to take but either an earthquake t
or a quart of warm salt water, I
would take my chances on the1
earthquake. After this every.
body in the hotel became interest- I
ed, and I took all sorts of reme
dies-hot lemonade, cold lemon- 1
ade, pepper tea, boneset, stewed
Quaker, hound syrup, onions and<
loaf sugar, lemons and brown
sugar, vinegar and loaf sugar, five <
bottles of fir balsam. eight bottles I
cherry pectoral, and ten bottles of
Uncle Sam's remedy, but all with
out effect. One of the prescrip
tions given hy an old lady was
well, it was dreadful. She mixed
a decoction composed of molasses,
catnip, peppermint, aquafortis, tur
pentine, kerosene and various
other drugs, and instructnd me
to take a wineglassful every fif
teen minutes. I never took but
one dose; that was enough. I had
to take to my bed and remain there
two entire days. When 1 felt bet
ter more things were recommend
ed. I was desperate and willing
to take anything. Plain gin was
recommended, then gin and mo
lasses, then gin and onions. I
took al! three. I detected no
particular result, however, except
that I had acquired a breath like
a turkey buzzard, and had to
change my boarding-place. At
this new place they suggested a
different remedy to any yet tried.
A sheet bath was recommended.
I had never refused a remedy yet,
and it seemed poor policy to com
mence then ; therefore I deter
mined to take a sheet bath, though
I had no idea what sort of ar
rangement it was. It wasad
ministered at midnight, and the
weather was very frosty. My back
and breast were stripped, and a
sheet (there appeared to be a thous
and yards of it) soaked in ice wa
ter was wound around me until I
resembled a swab for a columbiad.
It is a cruel expedient. When
the chilly rag touches one's warm
lesh it makes him start with sud
den violence and gasp for breath,
just as men do in the death agony.
t froze the marrow in my bones
and stopped the beating of my
heart. I thought my time had
come. When I recovered from
this a friend recommended the ap
plicationi of a mustard plaster to
my breast. I beliOge that Would
ADVERISING RATIESO
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)er square-one inch-for first Insertdoo, and
'5c. for each subsequent insertion. Double
vIlumn advertisements ten per cent on above
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f respect, same rates per squarepas ordinary
dvertsements.
Special notices In local codums 20 cents
er line.
Advertisements not marked with thW wn
er of insertions will be kept In t0l forbid
nd charged accordingly.
Special contracts made with larW. adver
sers, with liberal deductions on &boe raun.
Done withSeatnews and Dlu6Mcb
arc cured me effectually if it
ad rnot been for young Clemens.
Then I went to bed I put- the
iustard plaster where I could
)ach it when I should be neady
)r it. But John Clemens got
iingry in the night and eat it up.,
never saw any child have Ach
~appetite. I am confident that
e would bave eaten me if I had
sen healthy. After all "hi. ez
rience you cannot wonder that
dread going to New York, and
e4 obliged to decline your kind
[Vitation. Wishing Yom a pleas -
A and successful time, I rmi
ary respectfully,
S. Li. CLEMENS (Mark Twain-)
mIUP.
The farm, we mean, ineludng
ie house and grounds around- it,
ie barn and barn-yard, the shed,
ie poultry-house, the orchard, the
DIds. Don't be slovenly any long
r. Nail fast those loose boards
int have played the tune *of
ffard Times" during every wind
ormn for the last two or three
ears. Mend the holes in the roof
iroupph which the rain-drops have
attered on the barn-floor for so
ng a time, and put newplauk i6
ie floor where these same Ileak
oles have rotted it -out. One o~
e doors -of the wagon-shed needs
labor, especially if they are exten.
sive. Plow them up. manure thor
- -- L S..... 4 I. @,y~il 4~ LO4.&A ~