The Newberry herald. (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, August 15, 1866, Image 1
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V O L ________ jI___ 3 .
VOHI. WEDNESDAY MORNING, AUGUST 15, 1866. N.3.
THE HERALD
IS PUBLISHED
EVERY WEDNESDAY MOPNING,
At Newberry C. II.,
By THOS. F. & R. H. GRENEKER,
TERMS, $8 PER ANNUM. IN CURRENCY,
OR PROVISIONS.
Payment required invariably in advance.
Advertisements inserted at S1 per square, fbr
first insertion, and 75 cts. each subseNent inser
tio'. Marriage notices, Funeral invitatious,
Obituaries, and Communications of a personal
-character are charged as advertisements.
Boston Betsey's Brick, or Brick's Bet
sey.
J found her in Boston. Betsey Jeru
rha Jones--in three volumes illustrated.
I thirsted for intellect. I hungered for
beauty. I ached, for charms. I re
quired a gentle being with a mind like
horse billiard.to guide me through this
tale of steers. I went to Boston to find
my love. I found her.-She was a school
teacher who drew seven dollars a month
for spanking the rule of three into the
vulgar fractions confided to her charge,
and for adding agcomplishment as 'twere
to the result of others multiplication i
Figuratively speaking. After school was
disbanded for the day, we walked out to
the beach. Birch by day and beach by
night.
Mv love was beautiful. She was of
the New England type. She was pure
itanical. Thus wor:hipped I her, the
most beautifulest ant in the s ugar bowl.
And she made both ends meet by skin
ning eels. She was a most exalted and
triumphgn t eel skinnist. The Massachu
setts gerls teach school and skin eels for
tmarket. Said I, "Betsev, if its not a
skin too much, let me go out with thee
and aid in thy toils, and see thee divest
eel of cuticle.' She said vea. I went.
She had a hooked nose. She had three
hoops--at regular intervals. She was a
Massachusetts school-tnarm. She under
stood all of"DholI but the multiplication.
She had never been on the multiply ! Oh
no! And she could skin eels faster than
the devil could catch fiddlers.
By the beach we sat. She skinned
eels for the net proceeds. W. talked of
love and sich. She listened to my tale.
She felt the moving of my plea; the
burning eloquence thereof, so called.
Sa,d I,
'Oh, 3etsey, seein' its yeou, I love
yeou I sweow. I wouldst be thine. I
would share thy cot, and
Id dream I skep with thee, love,
Wouldst be mine ? I am a stranger.
B3etsey. I am not -?ged, but on the con
trary am agile as those eel. I will offer
thee all I have. I would be thus to thee
I would crawl out of myself as those eel
crawls out of his undershirt in thy hands,
and be thy onlyest.
She took up another eel.
'Oh Betsy'-Said I, as I laid par1ly on
the grass, partly in the lap of Betsey,
with the slickery tails of her eels tickling~
my nose-' were you ever careseted by
mortal.' She sai~d no, and looked side
wise.
She took another e!.
I then caressed her. Said she, 'Praise
the Lord, but that is .the first kiss ever
mortal man gave me.' I asked if she
liked it? She said it war better nor
spanking a young-un or skinni,n a big eel.
She said she liked school teaching. It
was better than a gymnasium. She said
kissing was better than skinning eels.
When a Massachusetts girl says that,
you may with the lambs on the hills,
gamble that she liketh it with vehement
IL)i'ch ness.
The pale moon slid along ove. the
head just as easy ! It seemed to bkln it
self from under the fleecy clonds, as those
cels skinned themselves from the fingers
of my Betsey Jerusha. It sat mec to
thini-ing she was something heavenly,
like the moon.-Only sI was a little
plumper. It was a new moon. Newer
than Betser, and a little slimnaer. I con
-versed with betsey. She had a little
knife like a shoe knife. I would have
thought her a shoemaker if she had car
ried a cobler's kitten and a waxed end.
But she didn't She skinned eels, chawed
spruce gumi and talked love. Said she
'WVhat is your name?'
'Asked we, the reverberating cogno
men to which we respond?'
Said she, 'yes.'
Said we, 'Brick' Pomeroy.'
home. She wanted to know what State
Illinois was in, and if Wisconsin was in
the First or Second wird of La Crosse.
And she wanted to know if we had
young ones ins the west. We told her
not many yet! Then~ she wanted to
know if the Mlississippi had eels in it.
We told her nay. And she wanted to
know if the peo~ple out in that barbarous
region w~ore clothes every day or only
when they went sparking. And she
wanted to know how far it was from
where we lived to a house. And she
wanted to know if they spanked or fer
ruled youngsters in schools, and if we
had schools. And she wanted to kriow
if women dressed in bearskins or tilting
hooprs, which we suppose are all the samne!
papers, and could read and write and had
ever heard of Anna l)ickinson. And she
wanted to know if it was not terrible
living so far from Boston !
Then we caressed her and kisse I her
so sweetly. And she twined the eel
skins in a garland and wreathed them
about our neck as she sqt there in maiden
meditation fancy free, like a box of No.
11 boots. Then we said
"Oh, Betsey Jerusha, thou has spoken
est with wisdom. I will converse with
thee, elastic nymph. I am a barbarian.
We are all barbarians in the west. I am
an ignorant but well meaning whelp.
We are all ditto in the west. I wear
bear skins in the west -we all ditto in
that country. We have no houses, but
live intently without them as 'twere.
We have no carriages for either male or
female so called. But I can love thee. I
can hold thee to mine own, I will sur
round thee with all the luxuries we have
in that land of darkness for the sun never
rises in the west!" Said Betsey, as she
playfully slung the hide off from another
conquered eel, 'Due tell !'
I wanted information, and thus we dia
logued.
'My Betsey Jerusha, has much Of
parents :'
'Yes Briekuel, I have two parents and
four ante-palrents.'
'What didst they do?'
Ani ma taught school and skinned eels,
and my father was an eel catcher and a
silver-tong ned politician.'
'How many boys cans't thou spank in
a day ?'
'I have spanked twenty-seven in an
hour and it wan't a good hour for spank
ing cither.'
'_And eels ! Iow many eels cans't thou
peel in a day. Tell me thou e4ucatoi- of
the world?'
'Well now, that is a pretty right smart
of a question ! I guess I kin skin :.ix a
minute. I skin 'em and slhng 'em over
my shoulder into that are tub, and kin
keep one in, the air all the time, like a
cow's tail in fy time, and I aint much of
a skinist nuther !'
'Does it bnirt the eels!'
'Why of course it kills the eels ! But
that is his fault. If he'd had his skin
put on tother side out 'twouldn't hurt
'em any. 'Tcvould have slid off itself!
lt< our doctrine in New England to have
things c'onfoi-med to our notions, even if
the eels we skin don't like it. You see 4
this is the hub-and, the cels have no
rights we the skinners are bound to re
spect!' and in:o the air s~he play fully
t ossed another y rrd of subdued, quiver
ing agony !
Says we
'D~o you sIin 'em for fun or for profit!'
Betser said it was for both. There
was money in it, and(it was fun to see
them squirm, for they had no businiess
t: he eels, and to come to New England
in the spring and fail for what they
wanted. And thus Betsey taught me to
love. Gentle christiamized Betsey !
And I kissed h-'r. And I hugged her
there then. And I told her she should
be happy. And that she should have
eels to skin forever. That i'd have one
made on p)urpose! Then she smiled and
said she'd be mine, so-called, if I'd agree
to find her in eels; to find young ones
for her to spank ; to let her come once a
ear to hear thue bi.g organ and rock her
baby in thle cradle of liberty ; to let her
kiss every nigger she saw ; to let her
spend half her time in peddling tracts
and making dlannel shirts for babies inI
Africa, aind w-ouldl do my best to extend
the blessed gospel and the likeness of
Ben Butler in the benightened region be
vond theC hub.
I consented of all she wanted of mec ex
cept the nigger.. On that I was firrum.
So was Betser. She said "nigger or
single blessedness.' She said they' werc
her pets. I told her I was a democrat.
Oh gracious! She straightened up till
her corsets snapped like ai pistol! I
thought,. she had ge ne off! But she
hadn't. She was there yet. S:id she,
as she scrunc-hed an eel in her hand and
waved her peeling machine over her head:
'You a Demn'rat ! Marry a Democrat?
Go way! Git emut! Don't tech me!
Oh you great, nasty western man! Take
your arms away from around my intel
lectual breast. Oh ! you great, ugly,
western he man ! I'd skin you like an
ecl! Oh, Git eout! Rise your hoary
locks from that crc lap. I'll take my
eels and fly from your advances. Marry
a democrat ? I'm no such n' oman ! Oh!
you great big, red-whiskered, grev head
ed, savage, unrefined, uncultivated, un
eddicated, big, nasty, he man ! LHow
dare von talk to me. I'd die first, and
then I wouldn't !' And she done as Jo
seph did in the night and went off into
Egypt, leaving me in a bed of eel skins.
And now I'm a gone nutmeg, a busted
what do you-call-it. i've lost my B3etsey
Jerusha, and must live in the west bey ond
the eels and school marm charms of her I
so adoried, for us of the west are not of
the eel-ite. Thine, unskinnied,
'BmrcK PoMtERoY.
A man found dead on a London door
step had ?1l,000 in his pocket.
Cause of Retort from the ladies.
The odious man of the Courier seems
to relish nothing better than a "crusade
against tilting hoops," which cause, he
asserts, has been strangely mistaken.
Commenting on a feminine plea for their
grace and utility, he remarks: "It is not
because ladies show their legs, for it is
habitually done by the women of many
nations, and is not necessarily indelicate.
But the tilting hoop makes a pretense of
covering the kgs, as though one lhould
say, 'I am showing you what I ought
not to.' If the ladies will wear short
dresses, instead of long ones looped up
and held out, sensible men will find no
fault. We are glad to learn Eastern la
dies wear pantalets; .our ladies might
very properly adopt the habit." Now,
ladies, isn't this a pretty tyrade against
us? And, as our sex prevents us from
taking tangible satisfaction by giving him
a pummeling, let us seize and hold him
by every available button hole, and pour
into his ears such a volley of anathemas
as he never before heard, and give him
the benefit of that "organ" of speech
which has been proclaimed we possess to
an unlimited degree; let us give one
unanimous shout of indignation; confuse,
deafen, madden him with the meliifluous
cpithets, "brute," "monster," "fiend
incarnate !" How dare you insinuate
that the ladies of this city wear no panta
lets ? How could you, sir, thus boldly
accuse us of such an unheard of indeli
cac% ? Shameful, ridiculous; 'tis a mon
strous libel, an infamous- misrenresenta
tion, an unpardonable non-appreviation
of our be-ruffled, be-fluted under-gear.
It is false and base, and we won't bear it
tamely-that we won't ; and, if you don't
take it back, you will not soon again havc
the pleasure of acktion ledLing a beauti
ful boquet from a lady friend. We pre
fer to Send our flowers whence con>e our
compliments. Your style of returning
compliments don't seem to prevail amorng
intelligent people.
We advise you the next windy day, to
rub up your specs, sit down fair and
square at the window of your sanctum,
(where you are sure to be seen on windv
day s,) and do not pretend to "ignore thc
fact" of the exi7tence ofsomne of the fines1
handiwork in the way of "frills and edg
irgs," Any one but an obdurate, cap
tious editor, of your species, would pro
nounce them faultless; and then, sensibh
men never find fault with a well-dressec
lady at all, and do not consider a subjecl
to call ffrth ugly criticisms. We wil
not wear short dresses until it is decreet
byefashion or custom to do so. You
w~ou1ld be the first to open a battery o
censure on our appx .rance in the strcets
in that sty'le, and "bloomer costume' iu
not genera.lly in favor. We will persis1
in nwearing our' dress long in the draw ing
room, for its gracefulness, and looped uj
in the street, for its neatness and . conte
nience, which latter style we think :
great improvement on all the "sweeping
the-street system" which prevailed for
merly, and created ridicule- and rebula
to an alarming extent. And as for th:
"tilters," they are quete indispensable
and we will have our skirts held out by
them for all the "likes o' you."
If it shocks your sense of propriety t<
see our "pretty gaiters" andl "lisle threnc
hose," don't look higher so pertinacious
lv, to let our optics deceive you and ac
c~ise us so (utrageously. Pull dowr
your blue1 shades and be sure you don'
I<eep out when high winds prevail. W<
did not dIress our pedal extremities witi
immnaculate hove arnd- high-heeled boots
for your (lull eyes to squint at, nor foi
the crowd of loafers who stare us out o
countenance and "out of gait" at th<
street corners. We dress to loo0k neatly
e'nd feel comfortably, with a regard te
prevailing modes, as every lady should
We dress to please, and feel sure we re
ceive the just appreciation of all well
bred gentlemen, who make us feel our cf
forts are not 'flahor' lost." We hav<
heard enough about bonnets, "water
falls"' and "'tilting hoops," and we thinl<
it high time to put it down ; and Mr
Editor of the Courler' will yet live t(
learn, as many have before, that an at
tempt to reform dress is futile, and w<
would recommend silence to you wher
again you think of occupying the ques
tionaIThe position of inspecting and re
cording what ladies "don't. wear undet
their cri nolinte," or you will hear agai
from "an enraged redressor of wrongs.'
A rosy sun-set presages good wveather
a rud]dy sun-rise bad weather. A b)righ
yellow sky in th~e eveningindicates wind
a pale yellow, wet. A neutral grey colo
at evening is a favorable sign ; in th<
morning, an unfavorable one. The clouds
if soft, undetined and feathery, betoker
fine weather ; but if hard, sharp and de
finite, foul weather. Deep, unusual hue
in tihe sky- indicate wind or storm ; mor
delicate tints bespeak fair weather.
In Fredonia, N. Y., the Health Board
in order to stir the people to action w itt
regard to c!eaninog up, have posted thi
foliowinz notice: "The cholera is comn
m~ Re m'rdby of the commnittoe."
THE COUNSEL OF WoMI.--Dr. Board- I
man, in his admirable work, "Hints on
Domestic Happiness," inculcates this doc
trire, which we cordially endorse:
"In a conversation I once held with an
eminent minister of our church he made
this fine observation : "We will say no
thing of the manner in which that sex
usually conduct an argument; but the
intuitive judgment of woman is often
more to be relied upon than the conclu
sions which we reach by an elaborate
process of reasoning." No man that has
an intelligent wife, or who is accustomed
to the society of educated women, will
dispute this.
"Tin-es without number you must
have known them decide questions on the
instant, and with unerring accuracy,
which you had been poring over for
hours, perhaps, with no other result than
to find yourself getting deeper and deeper
into the tangled maze of doubts and dif
ficulties. It were hardly generous t, al
lege that they achieve these feats less by
reasoning than by a sort of sagacity
which approximates to the sure instinct
of the animal races; and yet there seems
to be some ground for the remark of a
witty French writer, that, when a man
has toiled step by step up a flight of
stairs, he will be sure to find a woman
at the tcp; but she will not be able to
tell how she got there.
"How she got there, however, is of
little momedt. If the conclusions a wo
man has reached are sound, that is all
that concerns us. And that they are
very apt to be sound on the practical
matters of domestic and secular life, no
thing but prejudice or self-conceit can
prevent us from acknowledging.
"The inference, therefore. is unavoid
able, that the man who thinks it beneath
his oignity to take counsel with an .intel
ligent wife stands in his own light, and
betrays that lack of judgment which he
tacitly aitributes to her."
_
Luther, when studying, always had
his dog lying at his feet--a dog he had
brought from Wartburg, and of % hich
he was .ery fond. An ivory crucifix
stood on the table -before him, and the
walls of his study were struck round
with c,.ricatures of the Pope. lie work
ed at his desk for days together without
going out ; but when fatigued, and the
ideas began to stagger in his brain, he
would take his flute or guitar with him
into the porch, and.there execute musi
cal fantasy, (for he was a skillful mu:i
clan,) when ides would flow upon him
as fresh as flowers after a summer nain.
Music was his invariable solace at such
times. Indeed, Luther (lid not hesitate
to say that, after. theology, music was
the first of arts. 'Musie,' said he, is the
art of the prophets; it is the only art
which, like theology, can calm the agita
tion of the soul and put the devil to
flight." Next to music, if not before it,
Luther loved children and flowers. That
great, gnarled mnan had a heart as tender
as a woman's.
THE SECREr.--"1 noticed," said Frank
lin, "a mechanie, among a number of
others at work on a house erecting, but
a little way from n;y office, who always
appeared to be in a merry humor, who
had a kind word and a cheerful smile
for every one lie met. Let the day be
ever so cold, gloomy or sunless, a hapy
smile dan ced like a sunbeam on his
cheerful countenance. lleeting hom one
morning I,asked him to tell me the se
cret of his constant and happy flow o!
Spirits."
"No secret, doct"r," he replied. "I
have got one of the best wives, and when
I go to work she always has a kind word
of encouragement for me. and when I go
home she eets me with a smile and, a
Ikiss ; and then the tea is sure to be rea
dy, and she. has done so many little
things through the day to please me,
that I cannot find it in my heart to spcak
an unkind word to anybody."
A SOuTHERN DISCovERY.-We are Cred
ibly' informed that our townsman. Dr.
Marion Howard, has discovered a com
pound, by the application of which teeth
may be drawn without the patient's feel
ig the least pain. A number of physi.
cians have examined into the matter :una
pronounced it a most valuable discovery.
The cormpoundl is perfectly harmless if it
should he swallowed, and the patient iP
perfectly conscious during the operation,
but feels no pain. How far this discovery
may be applied to surgical operations ir
general has not yet been tried, but ir
drawing teeth it acts like a charm.
[Richmond Times.
IFAMLY PnAE.--Robert 1Hall, hear
ing some worldly-minded persons object
to family prayer a's taking up too much
time, said that what might seem a loss
will he more than compensated by that
epirit of order and regularity which the
stated observance of this duty tends to
produce. It serves as an edge and bor
der, to pre.serve the web of life from un
raveling. "The curse of the Lord is in
the house of the.wicked ; but be blessetn
JEFFERSON DAVIS.-Charles OConnor,
Esq., counsel for Jefferson Davis, arrived
in town to-day from a visit to his client
at Fortress Monroe. He finds Mr. Davis's
health in no wise improved since his last.
visit, and thinks if anything he is physi
cally a little weaker, though his mental
faculties continue with their wonted
freshness. From sunrise to sunset he is
allowed full freedom inside the fort, go
ing whither he chooses unattended, he
being on parole; but the returning of
the prisoner to close confinement when
the sun goes down is what is now affect
ing his condition nmore than aught else.
The nights being . warm and close, and,
what is still worse, being away from the
society of his wife and children, at tw,i-'
light, he feels bitterly this continued over
anxiety of his military confinement. The
reports of the Congressional Committees
regarding Mr. Davis have given no cause
of appithension to the counsel or client
that any complicity of the itter in the
a-sassination of President Lincoln can
he shown. The visit was in no wise the
result of that report. When or whether
Mr. Davis will be tried at all, can at pre
sent be purely a matter of speculation,
the authorities in no manner givng the
least hint.. Mr. Stanberry, the new At- . ,
torney General, will give his attention to
the various papers in the case as soon as
he shall have been a little more conver
sant with the duties of his office, andbe
fore the October term of the Virginia U.
S. District Gourt,. the several legal advi
sers of the government will hold a con
sultation with reference to the merits of
the indictment.
A SERIOUS QUEsTIO.-In view of the
German war and the unmitigated knock
ing of principalities into cocked hats, the
Pall Mali Gazette asks where are the
kings. the queens, the princes and the
princesses of the rest of Europe to find a
sufficiency of eligible candidates for their
hands as wives and husbands? Already
the supply is barely equal to the d'mand,
I and with the new-fangled notions about
our "common flesh and blood," as ap
plied both to princesses and working
men, it is hard to imagine what will be
the consequences of a large diminution
in the number of German royalties. At
the present time there is hardly any so"
ereignty in Europe in -which a Gernau
prince or princes is not eith'vr king or
queen or father-in-law or inother-inaw
or iiarried to the heir apparent .or the
heir presumptive to the c. own. It has
hitherto, indeed, been the mission- of
Germany to supply Europe with theo
logy, classical dictionaries, and royal
wives; and what is to happen when -a.
dozen more thrones are abolished it is
difficult to see. When the various Co
burgs, whojudiciously keep up a couple
of ieligions iin the various branches of
their family, so as to be avalable both
for Catholic and Protestant emergencies,
have ceased to be themselves royal, the
embarrassment will be really serious.
TilER[CharlestonGourier..
THR.ucas.-.enator Doolittle made
a speech at Madison, Wisconsin, on the
~1st inst., from which we 'extract the -fol
lowing telling truths:
But, fellow-citizens, I tell you, and I
assure you, it is as certain, in my judg
mecnt, as God lives and reigns, that un
less the people in this country sustain
Andrew Johnson now in his determined
efort to sustain this Union ar.d to arretL
the mad career of this wild tendency' to
centralization, your constitutional liber
ties are engulfed in a vortex from which
thev will never rise. [Checers.] Tha't
tendency is to despotism, the despotism
of a tyrannfical caulc']-the meanest of
all (despotismis from the days of the seven
tv tyrants down. [Gheers.]
Thcre has occurred this session, in rb
lation to caucuses, in Congress, what
never occurred before in th'3 history 'sof
the Governmert, and that is that cau
cuses undertook to bind their members
pon questionfs of legislation. And yet
these men have suffered themselves to be
led and bound ha:nd ard foot; aund many
of them-I w ill say the majorty. of them
- in the House of Representatives, op;inst
theirjudgmnent, have been led by Thad
desSevens, and the men associated
with him, to make- this onwarrantable,
unjustifiable, this most devilish wvarfare
upon Andrew Jonnson. [Cheers.]
Ruskin abautes not a jot of his sharp,
biting, sarcastic style in his new e.ssays.
This bit from one of them is exceedingly
pungent:
"You women of England are all now
hr iekinlg with one voice-you and your
ceev men together-because you hear
of y our Bibles being attacked. If you
coose to obey y'our Bibles, you will
neer care who attacks them. It is just
because you never fulfill a single, down
right precept of the bonk that you arc so
careful of its credit. Tfhe Bible tells you
to dress plainly, and you are mad for
finery ; the Bible tells you to have pity
on the poor, and you crush them under
your carriage-wheels ; the Bible tells you
o do judgment and justice, and you do
not know n'or care to know so much as