The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, June 11, 1913, Image 6
BOWSER INVENTS,
,y ^m^mm^mmmm
ffis Lozenges W?Jd Be of Untold
Aid to Science.
HE EXPERIMENTS WITH THEM.
Sut the Subject?, After Holding
Council of War, Decide That a Terrible
Plot Haa Been Hetohed Against
Them and Fail Upon the Genia*
By M. QUAD.
' (Copyright, 1S13, by Associated Literary
Presej
W'VE given up any personal amMfi
tion to reach the north pole,*'
?M Mi. On?nM> oa KA IflM
WUU iw ...
aside bis paper tbe other evening.
"I'm glad to bear %" replied Mrs.
Bowser.
"But I stand ready to assist any
, one else."
"You'd better not fool away your
time."
"1 don't propose to. But for the awful
temperature around the pole men
oould easily overcome the other diffi/
culties. When the thermometer registers
100 degrees below zero the lifeblood
of the strongest man congeals.
He must either retreat or die."
"Well, what of it?" she asked.
"What of it?" he repeated with a
chuckle. "If you overcome the cold
you discover tbe pole, don't you?"
"And you have found a way of overcoming
the cold, 1 suppose. It is two
weeks since you had a fad. and I was
wondering what would come next If
you are going to visit the north pole
with a lot of hot water'bags strapped
around your body to keep your temperature
at summer beat let's hear
about it"
"Being as you are a woman and being
as every woman is about half idiot.
I can overlook your sarcasm. Tour
way of encouraging a husband to seek
for fame is to belittle every plan he
originates. Had Columbus bad a wife
"HE MUST EITHER RETREAT OB DIB."
. like you this American continent would
have continued to be a paradise for
woodchucks. Expecting nothing but
ridicule and sarcasm in reply, 1 will,
x however, ask you a question or two.
Suppose that a man going out in a temperature
of 20 degrees below zero
raises the temperature of his body 30
or 4U degrees r
A New Plan.
"That would offset the cold." replied
Mrs. Bowser.
"Your head is not filled with sawdust
after all. Yes. it would work
that way. and don't you see my plan?
To meet the cold of the north pole
we simply keep on raising the temperature.
It's the simplest thing in
the world, and yet nobody seems to
bare thought of it Mrs. Bowser, consider
the north pole as rediscovered.
Consider it discovered by Mr. Bowser!"
He stepped back and bowed before
her, and the cat came out from under
% the lounge and squinted at both and
* wondered whether it was a question of
\ science or mousetraps.
"Yes, but bow are you going to raise
the temperature of the body a hundred
degrees or more?" queried Mrs. Bowser.
* "Just as easy as lifting up your foot
Do you see these lozenges? They con*
- tain no less than six different red hot
9 ingredients, including cayenne pepper.
S Two of them are warranted to make
the blood fairly boil and cause the tera?
perature around the pole to seem like
flh ^August day in America. I shall at
" ronce~ consult the government about
sending out an expedition. Tne government
provides the ship, and Bowser's
lozenges do the rest"
"But you haven't tried thein yet."
"No, but I am glad to do so. 1 wonder
if our cook wouldn't eat one and
then sit on a snow bank in the back
yard and see how it worked?"
"Of course she wouldn't!"
After a Subject.
"Well, there are others. I'll find a j
couple of tramps who'll sit out all
night for a quarter apiece. I'll run a
, pair of them in at once and get the exit
periment under way."
"You'd?you'd better wait!" she fal?
tered as he started for the door.
"Why wait?' he asked. "It's a cold J
$ night, with snow and tramps at bapd. j
H for experiment. If an expedition is to
I be segfc at# Jfexn*l fc&w* th^
m ' r t'Bot it?will end in a row.'* .j <y; >; j
k "It will end in making the name of
iumbus. You just keep quiet and let '
me run this thing." |
He put on his hat and overcoat, and j
it did sot take him fire mlnetot to tod
a era^^^iliDM who wi jjgfc|||
about between the boose and the corner.
When be explained what ft#
wasted and bis wKilngneM .to pay
they both cheerfully accompanied Wis
Aa they stood with their backs to the
range In the kitchen and hungrily eyed
the remains of dinner be took their
temperature and pronounced it normal,
and then escorted tbem to the hack
yard. There were snow banks against
the fence, and be selected position*
and sat them down. It was a keen,
cold right, one made to order for aoch
an experiment
"Now. then." said Mr. Bowser aa alt
was ready. "I take it that yoa feel
cold?"
"W-e d-oP replied the men In chorus
through their chattering teeth.
"That is splendid. I estimate that
there is a difference of at least 40 degrees
between your temperature and
that of the weather. Yon will now
each of you take a lozenge In your
mouth and let It slowly dissolye. Ib
I two minutes your blood ought to be
| the same temperature as the weather.
! In five yon ought to imagine that rob
Ins are singing and daisies Dioommg
around yon."
The Experiment.
j As Mr. Bowser wasn't experiment|
Ing on himself, he discreetly retired to j
I the warm atmosphere of the kitchen
and took his stand at a window. He
bad scarcely begun his observations
when one of the tramps rolled over
and began to kick like a horse tangled
np in his harness, while the other
sprang to bis feet and spat and spluttered
and coughed and crammed his
mouth full of snow.
"What are you fellows up to?" shouted
Mr. Bowser, as be rushed out.
They gave him no heed. They seemed
to he acrobats let loose, and they ,
went through more antics than as if
they had picked up a dozen hot horseshoes.
It .."as five minutes before
either of them could speak, and then
one cooled bis mouth with an icicle
hanging to the clothesline and stut
tered:
"B-b-boss. what s-s-sort of a g-g-game
is thisr
"Yps. what- sort of a g-g-game?" add I
ed the other as a snowball melted in
his month.
"It's no game at all. Ifs an ex \
periment as I told you. What hare j
yon done with those lozenges?"
"S-s-spit 'em out, dura ye!"
"Yes: s-s-splt 'em out!"
j "But you mustn't do it. These are j
to raise the temperature of your blood I
I until it equals the temperature of the \
[ atmosphere. If you'd kept on sacking j
I the lozenges yon'd have been persplr- j
Ing by this time Sit down and try
It again."
Bowser Is Bested.
"Bill," said the first as he continued
to eat snow and draw In long breaths
of the frosty air, "does It look like a
cold blooded attempt to burn up the
vitals of two respectable gents?"
"It do. Sam. it do!"
"And by bnrain' op oar vitals take
away our appetites?"
"That's the gamer
"If I was playing any game would I
promise you a quarter apiece?" asked
j Mr. Bowser.
"It's my solemn opinyun that ye
would."*
"That's onr solemn opinyun!"
Mr. Bowser was about to protest and
Increase his cash offers when the two
gentlemen with burned vitals fell upon
him. The three went down together,
and Mrs. Bowser, looking from a back
window, and the cook and cat looking
from a back door, could see nothing for
the next two minutes for the cloud of
snow in the air. Then the two tramps
detached themselves from the circus
and climbed the yard fence, and the
household went out to look for Mr.
Bowser. There were thousands of
traces of him at hand, but it took
three minutes to discover his actual
presence and dig it out from under
the snow. He had been thumped and
kicked and choked, but life had not
departed. He soon rallied and sat up,
and after being helped to his feet he
made his woozy way to the kitchen
and thence upstairs. He did not ask
what had happened, and Mrs. Bowser
gave him a rest of fifteen minutes on
the lounge before she said:
"I suppose the government ought to
be notified at once, and if you don't
feel well I can do It myself."
An ugly glare, followed by a gritting
of his teeth, and it was ten minutes
before she observed:
"I've told the cook to heat some
witch hazel to wash off the blood. Do
you wish for 003* temperature?"
But Mr. Bowser bad grow weary of
north nolp weather and fallen asleeo
A substitute in medicine isneverfor
1 the benefit of the buyer. Never be
I pursuaded to buy anything but Foley's
Honey and Tar Compound for coughs
1 and colds, for children cr for grown
persons. It is prompt and effective.
It comes in a yellow package, with
beehive on carton. It contains no opiates.
Take r.o substitute for Foley's
Honey and Tar Compound. Harmon
! Drug Co. adv.
<n>
Cleared Without Argument.
Hugh Long, the Aiken legislator
and newspaper man, who was tried at
Aiken last week for murder of Pickens
N. Gnnter, a prominent banke&atid
businessman, was acquitted iu^lessthan
two minutes after the rase$was
? ' I 1 i Jr
given to the jury. A remarkably coincidence
was the jury's requestgthat
;the .attorneys-make no arguments,
stating *'we have made upour minds."
killing was
j.he out come of bad feeling engei$lered
during the late election.
j^r man
whom everybody will trust - including
the grocer ard the butcher.
?????^
News of Brookland.
Robert Lee, the 8-year-old son of
Mr. and Mrs. W. J. Sox, is threatened
with blood poison and is suffering
much pain, caused from running a
nail in his foot. He is reported better.
The residence of Adam Jamison, a
negro, was destroyed by fire last
week. It is thought the fire caught
from che stove flue. No insurance was
carried. The loss was estimated at
about $500.
A mistrial was ordered in Magistrate
Buff's court in the case of Mary
Earle vs. Richard Richardson and his
wife, Mary, for assault and battery
and carrvinir nf unlawful weaDOU.
The case was tried before a jury. All
were negroes and live at Cayco.
John Bushardt, of Peak, is spending
some time with his sister, Mrs. W. C.
Addy.
Mrs. Lou Koon, of Peak, is spending
some time with her daughter, Mrs. J.
A. Bundrick.
Good rains have been reported from
severaL sections of the county, but
this immediate vicinity is still suffering
from the brought very much.
Oak Groye?Camp, W. 0. W., unveiled
a monument to the memory of
Perry Dorrenbacher, a deceased member,
at Beulah church near Sandy
Ruu. The speaker of the day was H.
L. Harmon .
NO SUBSTITUTE COULD DO THIS
No inferior substitute, but only the
genuine Foley Kidney Pills could have
rid J. F. Wallich, Bartlett, Nebr,, of
his kidney trouble. He says:
* t t - i - . i *? !i i i j . _ i a
j "i was coinerc-ci wun oacuacne, ana
? the pain would run up to the back ot
my head, and I had spells of dizziness.
I took Foley Kidney Pills and they did
the work and I am now entirely rid of
kidney trouble." Harmon Drug Co.
adv.
Death ol J. Sol Miller.
J. Sol Miller, one of the best known
and most highly respected citizens of
this county, died at his home in the
Boiling Springs section last Wednes
day afternoon after a loDg and painful
illness. The deceased was in his 65th
year and besides his wife he leaves
seven children?five sons and two
fTViftrr own# noAr.YA A n r?
UdUglUCIC. J.JLI CJ CVA ^ XA.X vll MA |
Pink, Levie gand Paul Miller; M*a.
Sallio Shealv, of this connty, end
Mrs. Emma Pate, of Alabama. He is
also survived by one sister, Mrs. Sara
Ann Bouknight; one half brother, Sim
J. Miller, sheriff of Lexington county.
Mr. Miller was a Confederate soldier.
At theido8e of the war Mr. Miller returned
to his old home and by hard
work and honest endeavor he accumulated
a large estate, being one of the
largest real estate owners in the
county at'thej time of his death. He
was a member of the Boiling Springs
Methodist church, and wa3 ever active
in religious affairs.
The funeral was held from Boiling
Spring church Thursday afternoon,
the Revs. Taylor, Felder and Peeler
officiating. The interment was in the
church cemetery.
Kfanc Fallina Hair I
uxupu iuiiiii^ i mil
Hall's Hair Renewer certainly stops
falling hair. No doubt about it whatr
ever. Yon will surely be satisfied.
Time isn't money to the man v >
waste a dollar's worth of time in trying
to save a penny.
The cynical world, would be far
more likely to sit up and take notice
if more of the reformers would begin
on themselves.
It tabes a matrimonial storm to curdle
the milk of human kindness.
: I VjMlla 1
\ \ y. tfrv&A <
; v -> ** "*
* ^
C -c"' i
ft. ? -IV S.UV. 1 .??
THE MOST COMPLETE LINE WE
HAVE EVER SHOWN IN
HARNESS.
SADDLES,
r\ tt t a rt n
LULLAKS,
BRIDLES,
ROBES,
HORSE j
BLANKETS, I
ETC.
We have a special home-made slip
Harness for one-horse wagon at
$5.00. |
A Set of Buggy Harness for j
$10.00. f
We buy Hides, Furs, Tallow, Beeswax
and pay highegt market prices, j
^WiiseWr Martin,
1116-1118 Plain Sireet,
j COLUMBIA - S. O.
i
EXPERIENCE
OF MOTHERHOOD
" * 1
Adnct to Expectant Mothers
The experience of Motherhood is a try- 1
ing one to most women and marks distinctly
an epoch in their lives. Not one ]
woman in a hundred is prepared or un- ]
derstands how to properly care for herself.
Of course nearly every woman
nowadays has medical treatment at such
times, but many approach the experience
with an organism unfitted for the
trial of strength, and when it is over ]
her system has received a shock from
which it is hard to recover. Following
right upon this comes the nervous strain
ef caring for the child, and a distinct
change in the mother results.
There is nothing more charming than
a happy and healthy mother of children,
and indeed child-birth under the right
conditions need be no hazard to health or
beauty. The unexplainable thing is
that, with all the evidence of shattered
nerves and broken health resulting from
an unprepared condition, and with ample
time in which to prepare, women
will persist in going blindly to the trial.
Every woman at this time should rely
upon Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound, a most valuable tonic and
invigorator of the female organism.
In m a n y homes
once childless there
are now children be- Wl sj <||||\vj
cause of the fact 7/
that Lydia E. Pink- || lv* I)
ham's Vegetable Jl vj"1 Jh /K
Compound makes V\\
women normal, J] iC
healthy and strong.
If yon want special advice write to
Lydia E. Pinkliam Medicine Co. (confidential)
Lynn, Mass. Your letter will
be opened, read and answered by a
woman and held in strict confidence.
;
Winthrop College
SCHOLARSHIP and'ENTRANCE
EXAMINATION
The examination for the award of
vacant scholarships in Winthrop College
and for the admission of new
students will be held at the County
Court House on Friday, July 4, at 9.
a. m. Applicants |mu9t be not less
than sixteen years of age. When
Scholarships are vacant after July 4
they will be awarded to those making
the highest average at this examination,
provided they meet the conditions
governing the award. Applicants
for Scholarships should write to
President Johnson before the examination
for Scholarship examination
blanks.
Scholarships arejworth $100 and free
tuition. The next session will open
September 17, 1913. For further information
and catalogue, address Pres.
D. B. Johnson. Rock Hill, S. C. td
Sweet Potato Plants
Tomato, Pepper, Cabbage, etc., choicest
flowering and ornamental plants
for the front yard.
Flowers, pi' at9, bulbs and seeds
shipped everywhere.
Rose Hill Greenhouses
Phone 43. Columbia, S. C.
mnHBHHHBnHHW
| We Have
Some Che
Studebaker,
Babcock and I
1 Our eruaranfce*
I* is "'ft
Rons Amuck.
Bnraged because hie wife had left j
him, Robert Roach, of Canton, Ohio, j
proceeded to destroy her parents. He
shot and killed his mother-in-law,
sister-in-law and a 16-months-old baby
| and seriously wounded a policeman
who tried to arrest him
Leslie Holland, of Ridgewood Colombia's
snburb, in an attempt to
commit suicide shot himself on June 5,
but failed to ''finish the job" as he expressed
it.
I
(( IF YOU EAT SMETH1M that
let it work its own way thr
and makes yon feel bad.
taking a pinch or two of
SIMM
REE
LIVER RE
(THE FOWD
It drives out impurities and bad
bowels; stimulates the torpid liver <
ments. It is a fine tonic and system
in sound, healthy condition.
SOLD BY DCALEBS. PRICE
Auk for the genBine with the Red Z on the labe1
it by mail, postpaid. Simmons Liver Regulator is
Trice $1.00 per bottle. Look for the Red Z label.
IV J. H. ZEILIN 4. CO.. PF
~ ~
Ha 4 ^
Oxford's jtk.
The very
latest models
arid designs :fe
in Toes and
all Leathers wfe
arriving
. "?f 1725 MAI.
and see r , ,?
Cnnmhi
|i xnem.
1^
|| * and are now ready to serve our ]
I Shoes at the lowest prices in
p (3) points we were careful in sele
i FORT AND SERVICE. We will
& shoes and guarantee every pair.
jra (Farmers' Medium and \
| E. P. & F.
H 1710 MAIN STREET.
3V? ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ jpi j
; a Large Numl
-<1.4 SX35I
-* !<- (> i U.J. . * f. r_- . ?~ - ? ? - - -_ >aper
If ?
Mitchei and Hacl
lackney the best
3 means something
>ry^Conder Mi
COLUMBIA, S. C.
Our Guarantee Means Someiliii]
t
BARBECUE.
We will furnish a first class Cue
with all refreshments at Leaphart
Store on Friday, July 4. Good mnai#
and some good speakers will be there.
Come and enjoy a good dinner and a
good time. Prices for dinner will be
reasonable.
BKRLEY LEAPHART,
DRAYTON TAYLOR.
35-pd.
Competition may be the life of trade,
Vmf if.'o tnnfrh nn fV?e? ipnlnno lnva*
ough; its a slow process
Get rid of it quickly by
IONS I
>Z !
GULATOR j
ER FORM)
<
ily digested food in the stomach and
and restores regular bowel move- i
. purifier that puts the vital organs
, LARGC PACKAGK, ?1.00.
I. If yon cannot get it. remit to ni. we will send
pat up also in liquid form for tb?se who prefer it.
fOPS., ST. LOUIS. MO. j J
\Ve invite H
everybody n
to come m I
II CTDCCT ,we can I
11 01I1LL1 please you.
Come and fl
!? p r see if we I
Id) Ut U? don't. I
We Have il
Received our
WM Spring and ggl
Summer ||
SHOES II
Lexington friends with the best
all styles and leathers. Three |3|H
cting this stock: STYLE, COM- jjigH
only show yon good solid leather
York Shoes a Specialty.) Z H
A. DAVIS i|
COLUMBIA, S. C. gH
aerofthe I
Stent Them m
mey Wagons. 9
built Buggies. H
1 :! 1B9
ile ?**, V