The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, October 02, 1912, Image 9
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I 1 and be conv;
BUSINESS a
. I best footwear
I
^
I HARM/
^M'T'l-M-H-I I M-M-H-III M I"I Ij
* Perhaps. ]
I! Perhaps the druggist keeps 3
T postage stamps just to prove to j
1 a doubting world that he has J
Y something In stock for which j
| there Is no substitute.?Judge's J
^ T Library. j
W n 111111111 n j m n n u m <h
Untold.
The sandy haired little man waj
quite a joker.
He said to the boys in the lobby tb<
other night: "I've got the best storj
you ever heard on the male suffragette
Ifs a scream."
"Go ahead an' tell it, Pinkey," salt
6 one of the listeners.
' "All right" the sandy haired mai
responded; then he chuckled and look
ed around. "Maybe I'd better ask firs
if there's any male suffragette in th<
party."
A big man with thick shoulders, i
heavy lower jaw and large, knottet
hands crowded a little closer.
"I'm one of 'em," he said. "Letfi
hear the story."
But just at that moment Pinky fan
cfed he saw a friend over near the bii
doors and hurried away.
And the scream remains untold.L
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
mammmmmmmmmmmmmm
' T 7
IFallG
9
We wi:
and cu:
that on
is now
ing eve
. dry i
liner's
and it is s
We
new lir
are bo
$2.00
I We have <
pie Ladiei
alike, and
best barga
Call and
"10
1804 Main Strei
FIRST
?J HARMAN'S
inced that you ca
specialty for more
for your money. Wi
SHOE!
kN'S SHOE
?Ml?????? ?
Then It Opened.
Franklin P. Fisk, the school principal
and mate of Fred Hild, went away
' on his summer trip with a leather
valise and not with a straw one, as
[ this narrative will indicate.
j? The new straw grip naa oeen newiy
L purchased and had been packed. The
r trunk had gone, and Mr. Fisk was sit^
ting around in his room at the athletic
club killing a little time. He noticed
first one thing and then another
J that might add to his comforts while
a traveler and decided to stow them
* away.
7 The grip balked. It wouldn't stand
* for holding any more and resolutely
refused to be opened. The lock
wouldn't work, and Mr. Fisk fumed.
"If it acts this way here it will act
* the same way on the train," he said to
himself bitterly, "so there is no use of
* my making a separate bundle I'll have
5 to go back to the old leather grip."
He produced a knife and slashed
J one side out of the straw valise and
dumped the contents. The other side
was cut open and emptied, and the
8 wreck was reviewed in anger.
. With everything transferred to the
leather hand bag, Mr. Fisk was moved
* to take his straw purchase and slam
it violently against the walL
This operation caused the lock to
open beautifully.?Chicago Poet
ioods Wow I
sh to announce to our
stomers of Lexington
ir new Fall and Wintei
ready lor inspection, e
:rytl ing in
GOODS, NOTIONS.
r, SHOES, HATS
Leedless to sa 7 that
will please you.
ill especial attention
le of clothing, on whic
'und to save from $1
on every suit.
ilso bought a large line of Drumrr
3' and Misses' Coats and Cloal
will sell them at actual faclory p
ins ever shown our people.
see us and be C
JAM PLAIT &
et. Columbia,
LESS1 \
BUY YOUR i
SHOE STORE, I
in save money 1
than 20 years,
e invite our Lexington fi
? FOR EVERYB01
: STORE,
-7
<"> > ? < >fr ? !?*?! ?|? !< '! fr ?t' < 'I' ! fr !?
f f
' * Ambition. *:'[
I | + a
?, There are men who feel that ??
J [ they have achieved success when ]j J
?? they are able to play "Old Black ??
J | Joe" on a piece of stovepipe.? **
* > Chicago Record-Herald. ?i?
Unfounded and Uncalltd For.
"Did you hear what Mamie has been
saying about us 7' said the young man.
"Who's us?" the girl wanted to
know.
"Why, you and me."
"No?what?"
"Mamie told Bill, and Bill told Freddie,
and he told the whole bunch."
"Well, what is it? What did Freddie
say? What did Mamie tell?"
"Mamie said that we were engaged."
"You and her?'
"No; me and yon."
"Mamie said that?"
"Uh-huh!"
'The darned knockerV* ? Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
A Secret Thought.
Full many a man of solemn, stately guise
Down in his heart Is wishing
That he, instead of uttering language wise,
Could quit and go a-flshlng.
?Washington Star.
I
Beady
friends
county
- Stock
mbrac
I
, MILI,
ETC.,
our prices
to our
:h you
.00 to
iers Sam
ts, no two |
rice. The |
8
Jonvinced. g
IF
South Carolina J
i
VEAR U
| I
SHOES FROM
1725 Main St.,
3y trading with
enables us to be i
IA AM J |?A
rienus 10 uumc aiiu ue
DY AT RIGHT PI
1725 Main St
HE PUSHED THE DEPOT.
But the Negro Porter Forgave Him
When He Learned His Mission.
THERE was a shriveled up, wL'te
headed old colored man leaning
up against the passenger depot
at Birmingham. Ala., when the negro
porter thought it would be a good opportunity
to show off his authority.
He therefore advanced with a lordly
air and demanded:
"See yere, ole man. does you know
you am liable to be sent to jail fur
dat?"
"Sho! What I doin'?"
"You am dun pushin' on our depot,
?ah. I'd like to know what you am
lingerin' round yere fur!"
"I's just dun waitinV
"Waitin* fur what?"
"Fur my darter, who's gone up to de
fitoh to trade."
"But who gin you leare to wait round
yere? You'd better skate right up de
street and be powerful glad dat I hain't
sent you to jail fur pushin' agin my depot."
"But my darter she dun git fo' hundred
dollars, you see, and she cum to
town to"?
"What! Your darter dun git fo' hundred
dollars? Ole man, don't you try
to foolish dis railroad!"
"Yes, sah, fo' hundred dollars, and
she's a widder and owns fo'ty acres
of land and two mewls."
"What! Your darter got all dat?"
"Yes, sah, and mo' too."
'And she's a widder?"
"Yes, snh. Her man dun died last
yeah. She first got s!a hundred dollars,
and now she got fo' hundred dollars
mo'."
"You don't say so Your darter got
a thousand dollars!"
"Yes, sah."
"And how old is she?"
" 'Bout thirty and mighty smart. I's
sorry I dun pushed agin your depot,
but you see"?
"Don't menshun it, uncle. When dat
gal comes back I'd like to speak wid
her."
"Yes, sah. I's dun sorry 'bout pushin'
your depot along, but you see"?
"Dat's all right, uncle; dat's all
right," said the porter, and he shook
hands with him and smiled all over.
"When I first seed you I felt it my
duty to peramulate de calamity, but
now dat 1 come to sagaciate de foresight
I obsarve my condescension?a
thousand dollars in cash, fo'ty acres of
land, two mewls and a widder. Say,
uncle, I'll be right vcre when dat widder
cums back, and in de meantime if
dat depot am pushed ober and twenty
people killed I's goin' to swear dat you
didn't have nufiin' to do wid percolatin'
de catastrophe."
4? 4.
4? A Common Failing. 4"
J Too many of us prefer to ref
count the hard luck stories than 4to
recall the happy days.?New ^
^ York Evening World. 4j
" ~ U
The Thermometer.
The thermometer is a clever little instrument
composed of a scale on which
numbers are printed at various intervals
and to which is attached a long
piece of glass which has a bulb at the
bottom. Like other bulbous plants,
the thermometer attains its greatest
height in the summer time. Inside the
bulb is some mercury. When mercury
is warmed it expands. When a man
gets warm he begins expanding also.
If you sit next a fat man in the street
car you will notice this. He will spread
out until lie crushes you against the
side of the car. The Fahrenheit thermometer
was invented by the late Mr.
Fahrenheit, who went upon the theory
that zero was not as cold as it seemed,
so he left space below it for the mercury
to sit down. The centigrade thermometer
begins counting at zero; consequently
it is a much warmer thor
mometer than the Fahrenheit variety.
The thermometer tells you how hot
it is. In this it has nothing on every
one of your friends. Your own thermometer
is a source of pride to you if
It registers higher than the one next
door.?Chicago Fost.
Brirg us your Job Wort.
Ottr p.ices are right.
f f
INGER
COLUMBIA, |j
them. Having mi
n a position to giv<
Annvinftail
WVIRV IIIVWNl
{ICES
!; Columb
Worried.
The Best Man (making arrangements)
?And?er?is it kisstomary to cuss the
bride??Philadelphia Press.
I
Getting It Exactly Right.
Clerk?Your ad. reads, "Plain cook
wanted." They rather fight shy of
that, sir.
Subbubs?How shall I put it then?
Clerk?I should say, "Woman wanted
to do plain cooking."
Subbubs?Change it will you? Glad
you mentioned it And, by the way,
Instead of "woman" you'd better make
it "lady."?Boston Transcript
Trouble Maker.
"A newspaper can make trouble in a
home."
"I should say so. What came near
causing my first quarrel with my wife
was the fact that we had only one
newspaper to read, and that had the
baseball news on one side of the sheet
and the fashion news on the other."?
Washington Star.
Thankful For Hie Escape.
"It's useless to urge me to marry
you. When I say no I mean no."
"Always?"
"Invariably."
"And can nothing ever break your
determination when once you make up
your mind?"
"Absolutely nothing."
"Well, I wouldn't care to marry a
girl like that, anyhow."?Boston Transcript
Hard Experience.
"I see where the governor of the
prison where the London militant suffragettes
are confined has resigned because
he can't make 'em eat."
"That place ought to be easy to fill
Just offer the job to the manager of a
summer country boarding place and see
how he'll jump at it"
THE CORNERS OF OUR
MEMORY.
THE corners of our mem'ry
That we all turn every dayHow
we come upon them sudden
Leading down a pleasant way,
Where we see familiar faces
And the folks we used to know!
Round the corners of our mem'ry
1 t ,0n- tinie a?0,
Oh, it's pleasure next to heaven
j Just to leave the path of strife.
Just to tread the primrose pathway
Leading to the olden life
And to meet the old time neighbors
And perhaps again to see
A happy bar-foot youngster
i v Like the boy we used to be!
Oh. it's joy lc last a lifetime""
' -*"1 <" f
I> * CXI 1.1 J V? V- Hi<l J i VIW.4
And v.e turn :i sudden currier 1
j lit uur mem'rv leading home,
Leadlm: onward through the meadows, j
I Witii t::v fricr.dly stars above,
To 15io old loruiliar friendships '
And the i-dr.'Je^ t;.at wo love!
J !
Oh, we're thankful ?*:*r the pathway
That lends on to rest and peace
Through the toil and sir* of living
To the goal where strife she.!', cease,
But we're thankful- oh, so thankful?
F<?r the corners that we know
In our rn.-m'ry that h ad us
To the long time ago!
?Buffalo News.
I
A carload of .So tales of cotton was j
burned at Florence on Tuesday*. It i> I
supposed
it caught fire .when it was
put into the car at some otter station.
Think as others think if you would
! bare them respect your opinion.
| One way to be rich is 1 y i icking up
the money others throw away.
Bring us the back dues yon owo on
j subscription. We need t to pay bills.
1
J-1
ade the SHOE I
3 you the very g
ila, S. C. |
FABLES OF ELI.
From Which Some Modern Morals
May Be Drawn.
THREE PROFITABLE STORIES*
How the Shrewd Peasant Saved Hia
Cow's Skin?The Lamb Does a Favor
For the Fox and Goat?The Wis<?
Kinj and the Steep Hill.
By M. QUAD.
[Copyright, 1912, by Associated Literary
jr i c#a.j
ONE day the peasant found his
cow dead in the field, and his
lamentations soon brought the
lion, the bear, the wolf, the
hyena and the jackal around him to
offer consolation. Each one of them
had observed that it was too, too bad,
and that he stood ready to render any
assistance in his power, when the peasant
ceased his wailing and remarked:
"Although my cow is dead and the
loss is great, I must bestir me to save
her hide. By selling that I can somewhat
reduce my loss." \
The various animals licked their
chops and agreed with him, and he
looked around and continued: 3
"I shall have to go to my hut for my
knife, and meanwhile which of you ;
shall I leave in charge of the carcass?" i
The Hon at once called attention to j
his well known record of honesty and =
? ? ???? jt
FOUND HIS COW DEAD IN THE FIELD. V
good faith, and he was followed by
all the others in turn, and when the j
last had spoken the peasant said: ^
"Since you are all so honest it would
bo invidious to select a single one over
the others. I will therefore leave the^
whole lot of you in charge." ?
This he did, and upon his return
found things as he had left them. Every
ben^t rt'od out its faithfulness acd
demanded its recognition, but as the"'
peasant flourished his knife and made
ready for work he said: \
"Ifad there been one of you the ear
' ? - I ? *
CMS3 WO'.nu Uiive utrt'u truicu ctiiii iuc ?
hide rendered worthless before iny return.
it w;is iu watching each other
that you were compelled to be honest,
and therefore none deserves reward."
Moral.?The peasant might have let
them quarrel over the tail and the
horns, but it's a sure thing that the
man who is watched most closely is
the most honest.
Job Work neatly executed here.
V. A. Smith, Bridgeton, Intl., had
kidney trouble for years, and was so
crippled with rheumatism he could not
dress without help. He started using
Foley Kidney Pills, and says: "I began
to get better cr once, and now all
nip ir.ui hip has lefr me rind I do not
feel tnar 1 ever had rheumatism. I
rest well nil night and tho' 59 years
old can now do the work of a man of
35 years. I would like to be the means
of othtrs petting benefit from Foley
Kidney Pill*." P?'rnse substitutes.
Harmon Drug Co.
A