Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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$ Humor and | I Philosophy o A Br BVACAA M. SMITH A PERT PARAGRAPHS. fpHE man who claims all the credit for his successes generally wants providence to shoulder the responsibility of his failures. "?7hat is more painful than the sight a grouchy individual trying to look pleasant? The world never see'ins out of joint just after a good chicken dinner. ? A pessimist is a man who looks forward to the time when he will have to pay ooal and ice bills at the same time. A man is young so long as he be<?h ? saipsmnn tells him. w The philosophic mind is not cast down when the next door neighbor gets new" parlor furniture. It may be easier to believe ill of a man than good, but who's to blame for - the ease? There are some women who appear to have been born widows. ?. . " ' ^ The people who do as they are told Aenld be mighty careful who does the . telling. ' , t ' Don't try to fool people, but if they jferi theihselves you need not feel called /?pon to Hj to the rescue. Slow Progress. *e year after next and the year after that "Will soon be along, I am thinking. Will put In the time while we wait their ; approach A working: and eating and drinking. % uiaybe amusements will fill up the gap. Am** tins* we'll eive over'to Dialing. jkSa that is the way that the years move I ^jgthout either haste or delaying. "' 1599 what is it you hope and exjjJjefSura tfHll give to your keetfag Iflfi, happiness, honor, which one oc ft three. M measure wet] rounded asd heaping? %fet?ust tiave a dream?H has ever hoes / ^ftglnaai was set as or Invented? . Ttjijlipi nothing mate as the years rott j 4Mt acq, ?ewas and. contented mind, though you may net: Jk^feiAS^od year phrtr fer*?raS^fcoii ijjpfliSZe itfar ai TMiifc ft bee mf tonnioylif jjBHTyo*wiiSiSttSu at* ?r wcttf > rtiwtir Miaii > ! tinei fioehla,* ^pt^awwa tbe a Mf batch of trooWe, Aad-'uMor# may catba la four mama with .- . mrnh TofirfeMlth may bo flmo as a flddla . Tb^-jfear after meat mod tfco year after ftubmoir It 1a ?atr a sridAa. ?i . . ' ! Couldn't Bo Dons, "He plajeC feotfcoll aH through fcol<* i 4w>^F many legs and ribs did he "Hot any* mast kbe getting mixed up., Ttt&e ^hinting of cheokero.M "If I just had a \ \ *_.r ; bottle of ink"? \ til "And - some 12 @ *&* ^ ,v .<, -.V r * ?._. > '* ?V v&nc^itoQi j "I don't understand ^ou at all, Miss Moilif" "Oh, well, don't vofrry." ; "wbyr 4<5!here are a lot more just like you." Outrageous Enough. "What Is that man on the platform diingr "He is singing." "Oh. singing is he? I thought perhaps he was paying an election bet" No ApOlogy. "He is the frankest man I ever saw." "Why?" * "When you ask him what he is doing he says, 'Just loifing.'" Something Just as Good. "I like fun." Jts-UT IT Iit?Vt*r )UU aii,y?unc. "Maybe. But it keeps off a lot of old fossils." Wasn't Loaning Hfs. "I know what will cure your cold." "Aw. got one of your own and cure it." Chance to Choose. Of prerM-n's a-plenty Jn prosper* ip vfe\r There musi ut Jc^st he twenty WV'> f ;}>' ' Ik'* ':i<Jv \? iI5 no. A:u': m' ' " 'l.fifi v.*'..! uu.;.!. : i be, Not Tvfry* t;v r;tv-t\:-v. a Humor and | 0 Philosophy I A Xy 7> VJVCA jV SffSTH A SEASONABLE. rpHE stock advice Is now-on ice: You must have heard it Once or twice? ; Yes, I might venture To say thrice. } It's not a game .L.1KC suooung aice, Although It has A bit of spice. So hump yourself . And in a trice, Jf so it is, You have the price. Or credit makes A good device. , ( x; (With men I deem The same as nice.) - This want 1 mention To supply Because the time Is drawing nigh. r\ < My gracious. . : Hew the days do fly! j ' It's several months Beyond July! That truth no expert will deny. t And you at once / **4. Should rise and go { To where the windows Malco a show. r And. as I said A bit ago. The time is here. So don't be slow. \ Make out the list? < How it does grow! And scan the prices j Low,and high, For duty calls. I Repress the sigh. Hie to the market Place and buy - Your Christmas presents early. A Citxni>ieA "I have just been looking through history and have made an interesting discovery. I never would have suspected it. I have talked with my grandfather and he never mentioned it {hough he was a well posted man." "What is it?" ^My ancestors had help in fighting the Revolutionary war." t "::~* ( Before Taking. ' , C \/ i JL WMSS ^ea ?*y an automat reapgatof * 1 *V?tt aawtaffly." { vln srhatway?" "A man fcaears ail a boat rxw&k&fM tmtif h<* trie*." i - " " I At H?r Word. j *<Hemr 4a 70a like the dinner?" asked the hostess. "Bottim!" replied the guest. 1 *"Whjrf John!" exclaimed his wife; "Well, she brought *lt on herself. She told me to make myself at home." I different on School Days. "How are all your family?" "Very well." "Willie has recovered?" "Oh. yes. Willie is always quite wen on Saturdays and Sundays." Even Break. "Who won in the matrimonial race, John or Mary?" "They were tied." Evident. "I must hare a guardian angel." "He must loaf on his job a lot." Just Natural. That food costs rise is.no surprise Because a cold wave passes through. They're always looking for a chance To leave old high marks and advance. So any old excuse will do. PERT PARAGRAPHS. . If some meu couia nave meir neigubowf bard cash they wouldn't <6hyy' anybody his good morals. A gold plating wonderfully improves a low moral standard in the eyes of some ^persons. One reason why we can't do as we please is we can't get the price. When the dinner is scorched a woman likes to have a nice fresh scandal to divert her husband's mind. It is a lot easier to talk of the rights of the downtrodden masses than it is to dig up au extra quarter to give to the man who shovels off the walks. A man's political opinions are sacred A- ? !?*** T-P PKA /l/'vocn't regard them as gospel he is sure sue doesn't love him. It costs money to be good, but that's cot the reason so many are poor. !f a man is prosperous his neigh--, hors "tvy 1 in. If he isn't prosperous they use him a:; a horrible example. T""in'r a n">o<i borrower is almost as guo.i as being a good financier. V-'f never knew we needed a motor 1 i r ti? Ibe neighbors on e<icti side | get aaaaasaamagcr rtuy. mznazs | AS WELL AS I j ! large ones are welcome here? jl | yon need not wait until your bus- j j iness has assumed great propor| tions before opening a Checking j j Account, DO SO TO-DAY. j j ; Our patrons regardless of the j amount of business done, receive j every courtesy in all matters of | business entrusted to us?and j there is nothing in safe banking | we cannot perform. Talk it over 1 with our cashier. CAROLINA NATIONAL BANK, COLUMBIA, S. C. Notice, Pension Board, The Pension Board will meet in the County Auditor's office on th6 first *r 3-in-?r> 10 nauiiucij ?jauuai>, J.vi6, an a- u for the purpose of organizing. The old board will serve, Geo, W. Reeder will serve as a new member. The Pension Commissioner will be in the Auditor's office on each Saturday in January, 1912, to give out blanks to each applicant. All applicants must appear, in person, except in very extreme cases. Further instructions will be given when applicants apply for blanks. The County, Pension Board will meet on the first Monday in February, 1612, to pass upon all applications thatjwere handed in to the Commissioner. After, this date no blanks will be given out The representatives and others are requested to send to the commissioner L the names of all pensioners who have died or moved out of the county since the last pension roll was paid. Please oeiva this information, otherwise their BftSM wilt be on & roll and CBMft Cbosidertd^ ?. if. BOOT, Chairman Pension Board, Le*> C?. Beswnber, 18, 1911. ^Best On Earth" ^ i Thi* la the verdict of R. J. Howell, Tracy, 0., who bought Foley's Honey and Tar Compound for his wife. "Her ease-was the worst I have ever teen, and looked like a sure c&ae of oon umption. Her lungs were sore and he eoughed almost incessantly and her voice was hoarse and weak. Foley's Honey and Tar Compound bronght relief at once and less than three bottles effected a complete oure." Kaufmann Drug Co. j (Notice, Trespassers. All persons are hereby warned not to make roads or by-paths, cut timber, pasture stock, or trespass in any manner whatsoever upon the lands, known as the Son's place, DeHines place, Koon place, and Epting place, of the undersigned, under penalty of the law. G. H. Swygert, Mrs. G. H. Swygert, B. M. Chapman. ; Dec. 27, 1910?12 , The Danger of La Grippe. ?b its fatal tendency to pneumonia. To cure your la grippe coughs take Foley's Honey and Tar Compound. R. & Fisher, Washington, Kas., says: "I was troubled with a severe attack of la grippe that threatened pneumonia. A friend advised Foley's Honey and . Tar Compound and I got relief after taking the first few doses. 1 took ( three bottles and my la grippe was i cured.'' Get the genuine, in the yellow package. Kaufmann Drug Co. Subscribe to The Dispatch and Home & Farm, only $125 a year, In advance. I NAIY.'t. U ga a B in WARRANTED FOR ALL TIME. If yon purchase the NEW IIOM D yon v.'ill baw u life sisset at the price you pay. ?"id wiil not have an endless cluiin of repairs. Qua!;ty iMm rath-scad j 1 '.uir^ " 4 to huv. " - * ! If y,a \ :{;->tr.s-\v<:v7rw\ vnU* for ' I -r In r > ;*? .._ . fis"jv;Ho*Si:;iiwi.k%3 -,i?,:ss. i ] sarasjx* m'sra^zzmEssmr: n /0fvyrMjrrrz9^sa .'ii?i ..?oje 'i^-r^frvr* tf:a*Tcrr.?t." tt.wr.'.Tr-Tnri ^ k |m. weiss J I I I ?WATCHMAKER? f ?and? ' ?JEWELER? | | Old Gold and Silver Bought. We Handle Watches and Jewelry. All Work Guaranteed. 1320 Main Street, Columbia, S. C. Parlor Restaurant. FARMS! FARMS! If you want to buy a good farm at right price anywhere in South Carolina, call on or write us. If 37ou want to sell your farm quick for cash, make,, your price right and we will sell -it for you, no matter where located. We sell choice city property, too. Dickert & Eargle, 1507 Main Street, . Columbia, - South Carolina. "Always :Hustling" i ' 1 - ii Wood's Seeds j Fop 1912*. Our New Descriptive Catalog is fully up-to-date, and tells all about the best Garden and Farm Seeds. Every farmer and gardener should have a copy of this catalog, which has long been recognized as a standard authority, for die full and complete iafocmatkm which it gi vea We are headquarters for Grass tad Cllevar Seeds, Seed Petat ms, Sad Oats, Csw Peas, Sola Haass and all Farm Sods. Wood's Descriptive Catalog mailed free on request Write for it. T.W.WOOD ?SONS. Seedsmen, - Richmond, Vs. TH? WORLD ALMANAt 1912 Edition lh toil (Mput nAssus at wlu?M? and mU* ?fcriocmariea, a eempiet* up-te-dat# library to ttsril, 71m vdfl Sad Mcoraia particulars ot Xb* pecia] Mom ad Conjjtu, the elections. censa. statMtes tad comparisons, raciprocity, the Psntuna Gen?1, mantels, crop*, lacrce.se In prices of staple produota, nest ad living, aerial achievrmena. records tad disasters. scientific discoveries explorations and innovations ot 1911. van. international disagreements end other great historical even a, growth at tbe United States, increasing population and wealth of countries. State and muaiclpeMties. Congressional records, sporting record*, currency, weights and measures, weather forecasts, universities tnd schools, religious orders, industries. commerce, railroads, shipping, debts od rations armies and navies od the world, ban eng. money, taxes, insurance political parties, secret adetfcs, clnbs, births, marriages, divorces and deaths vaoroav suffrage and 10.000 Other Facta and Figure* Up to Data at trerj day interest and value to everybody. Jfs merchant, fames, laborer, business man, bouse wiff or borineos woman, school boy sr school gUi should ha sithout a 00py ad the valuable 1912 reference rolum* at useful Information. Piles 26c. -?(Waa: at Buffalo and Pittsburgh. 80c.) By maB, 36a. ifltir? TJui Nev York World, Ham laxfc. SHE COULD SHOUT, SAYS MRS. JOHN W. FITCHFORD of Aspen, "N. C. I will always use Hunt's Cure for Itching trouble, and tell aU I see about it. I could snout now to know that we are ail well of that dreadful trouble, rbe first of last fall .my little boy broke out with some kind of itching trouble. Thinking his blood was bad I gave him a blood tonic, but he got worse, and could not sleep at night. Some said he had itch, and told me what was good for it. I used what people said would cure it, but nothing did any good. My other two children and myself took the disease from him in .funnarv 1Q11 T anur T-Tnnf1* P,nrfi I advertised and I purchased a 50c. box. ! It helped my little boy so much I got a j box for each of the family, and now we arc all well of that awful trouble, j Hunt's Cure will cure itch in a short; time if you will go by directions. We 1 had it in i s worse form, and used Hunt's Cure, and we are now all well. ; Thanks to A B. R'chards Medicine Co , of Sherman, TV xvs. maiiufa- Hirers of such healing medicine. Mrs. John W. Pilch ford, A "pen, N~. C. Redd bv: J. 1-. I angford. Swans R C. V . A. Ox nor, (iPn it, S. C. ]\aufiii?.-iu D iv Co., Lex. P. C. S teiisHfi <5Sr3 PAUkEK: S \ "A!R .RAt -Xn I .r^-NJv":T ;' 1 ' '' i There is something impressive to tie in the coming of a new year. To them it is not simply a trick of t stitution of the next numeral, but a re life. fPNo /luu'rn frv 1' h-rr ovat, o y wv-JiiVy cv# tuiii v#? a IJL 1V'<*. I I people, coming: with a realization of tl '| and a keen ser.se of regret that in tin T been done and left undone that should This bank extends to all its custome dial greetings. To those who have nc we include with our good wishes for 1 s invitation to do. so. j If you have not saved during the pa^ ' turn over a new leaf." Perhaps yoi jj .facilities of a bank. They make savin, show you in a few months that it is a .NOW is the logical time to start. BANK OF CHAP3N, i J. S. WESSINGER, President. J. ???? IIIIIWIIIIIIIIOBMBMMMIManMPMBBBi in-. CALL A' UMIOW NATIOj Columbia, : Direct* A. F. LEVER JOS. NOR WOO J. H. M. BEATY C. L. KIBLER G. P. LOGAN J. W. NOR WO ( E. 0. BLACK D. A. SPIVE^ % BANK BY Ml ? Just as Easy to Open an fi Though You Livec & DEPOSIT part of youi earnings TO DA"1 I Brookland I N?w Brooklaui I WE OARRT FIRE AND BURGLAR INI GERMO For continued big yiel Fertilizers they do not n GERMOFERT FERTILIZERS are cc Ammonia and Potash in varying grades. Yet, 7i0 Sulphuric Acid. Thus t out sub trading from its sw ite FROST PROOF CABI ? GUARANTEED TO SATE I\ EATSVT JEESKY VTAKSFUXO.. ClUlU .\?X J ARGeX*tV. iUvST.-w:., ! ^ ^Th? r?>]irrf. VWK71F.U>. _ "tin F j 11 v. r -f rT f ?*" Wc I ere-v the fir.? t F R0C V r ?! OT: F Fi.ANT C f 11 i '?. enrtotv.crs. \Vc I'.t'-;-ro".*n atidici -rnr '.'j , L-. Sikop combines?. V IT* r s i It is time to pet those plrots in you:' :.ee;k.u to got cxti j that sell fr.r the tuoptnion. j*. Wa so*? ftrea fans cf &!!&%.* 1", J I I'ruit trees and ornaments l:--. "Writ- f<>r ;><? '- . i au.lTtvrelAbtttfcwina IYiees??:?<' ! !:- > ' Bv express. r |vivinjrer? rrssclvo " ' to .t,000Si iit})erthousanil;r>,'Hio to o <vo Wm. C. Geraty? .? ; Z7. .rsT'i zrzwtz :z<rr^x:z-xefw ':*?x:z:zzxn ssnrei^ass^s mmjZL, 2" | e thoughtful man or woman jf lie calendar, an arbitrary sub- |j ml milepost in the journey of " is spontaneous with most k ic death of a big life period, m e passing many things have |j , not and should have been. ^ rs and friends its most cor)t yet opened accounts with us n happiness an'? ;?v,sm-rity an U >t year, NOW is the tinv ro j| i are nor- f.uniiur with the & g easy and systematic and g sin of omi-km to neglect it. a CHAPIN I 5. C. I F. IIONEYCUTT, Cashit-r. | = ^ 1 HAL, 3INK 3. c. JSCS >D N. H. DRIGGERS . E. G. COOK 3D W. P. HAMRICK C. H. BARRON D P696SS96S69S9SSSS6SS969 KL: I Account With Us as | I Next Door. t t. Bring it, send ft or Mil It. ? I Bank I i, s. c. iURANCC. % PERT * ds apply Germofert lake your land acid. implete sources of Phosphoric Acid, unlike mest fertilizers they contain hey add to your land's yield witheetness and fertility. ? is, GERMOFERT FERTILIZERS uable germicidal properties that tend healthy plant life. ds of farmers are raising bigger crops,, p their farms by their use. le big demand for GERMOFERT we were compelled to build a new ee times as large as original factory. . tested brand for every crop. You w about these fertilizers. Pick up a r, NOW. Write and ask for our ng what these fertilizers will do for ofcrt Manufacturing" Company, DSTON, SOUTH CAROLINA i \v^y\N>v . ... - .^.?. ? V * ?,. \ \ ^.\'\' , ^ ,v*\ hi:-.r;-j:^rJL '-. V\v.s A - v>A , - \ ? .. v.\ OJ I ^iiVi'.^rr -> ? ' ? * ^ N \ .W 1 ?1 (AGE PLANTS ^ i 5FY CUSTOMERS 1 i? PLANT SHOWERS - _j| AUSI *2-\l }y.C?tfi> oiioj r:-r..y.y..o ~ ~~ ] & A !trrc isfr tiiATVVTV. ri. / U !7. t'r -r. Siircrwio** 7 ft'gen tcJ X.fttc*t J M yh > ?} V ;T? 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