Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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y IIII1IM1IIHIIIIIIIH1 H Our spring andisumi 9 those of any estahlishm( HI and Wash Goods fabrics B We have shoes f< We invite our Lexii 2 cheerfully refund your ] -S H " H 1: JEWERAFORBOWSERj Works Complete Change In Him ; For Twenty-four Hours. i ? ' THEN HE HAS A RELAPSE. r . . ' >. ' { Cook Suspicious All Along ? There I Are No Kicks For a Whole Day, i and He Takes Wifey to the Theater. { "i Supper Afterward. [Copyright, 190S, by T^C. McCIure.] Ninety-nine times out of a hundred Mr. Bowser follows a regular proV * gramme when called to get up in the morning. He hunts for his day shirt; he hunts for his socks; he hunts for his collar and tie. He finds one of his shoes in the upper hall and' the other 4-Ka Jwrtcoar on/1 foiis trof/?h ic1 oc i Vuuci IUU ^ QUVft If CI LV U CO cco i apt to be found under the bed as else- j where. Mrs. Bowser expects it and goes through with it and looks for her reward beyond the skies. The other morning, to her unbounded ! surprise, there were no kicks. Mr. j Bowser even forgot to throw out a j hint about wives getting up in the night to rob tlieir husbands of small change. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred he kicks at breakfast, but on this morning he actually praised the chops and coffee. The cook overheard j him, but instead of flushing with pleas- ; : "WHY, SAHAH, IlOW CAN YOU THINK SO j BADLY OF MY HUSBAND i ' ure she looked at Mrs. Bowser and j shook her head iu a solemn way. She ! afterward explained her action by saying: 4M woman may change her mind a dozen times a day and it's all right, bat whenever a man changes then look out. When a man is too good he's more dangerous than when he's too bad. I 'm predicting that something awful will happen in this lion.se within the next two days." Mr. Bowser generally jams his hat I on his head after breakfast and starts for the car with a "S'long!" to Mrs. Bowser, and on the way up to the corner he wonders how he can make it hot for the conductor. On this occasion, however, lie hung around for awhile and tickled Mrs. Bowser under the chin and stooped to pet the cat. Before he had reached the corner he had made up his mind that street car conductors were human beings and should have words of sympathy and encouragement now and then. On the way over to ?hc office a fat woman stepped on his foot, and he raised his hand aud smiled at her. She was so taken with his action that she returned and stepped on the other. The I conductor gazed into his beaming face ! and then returiHHl only 15 cents out of a quarter, but there was no kick. Four times that day Mrs. Bowser was called up on the telephone to find Mr. Bowser at the other end. He ! hadn't much to say ofther time. lie just asked after her health and added that he never exacted to see the day when he should regret falling in love with and marrying her. In his last message he suggested that the cat be i treated with the greatest urbanity and that the cook's wages be raised .$3 per month. Mrs. Bowser was pezzlingovcr this last, when the cook came to her. ? AT WH ner stocks are now complete anc mts, and we can please yon in stj . Come here before you buy you or everybody, from the che agton friends to make our store 1 1?? money on any purcnase nut saus. Wm. f with a stiletto lii her Land, and, pass- i Ing it over, said: "Be prepared. When he comes home tonight, if he is not his old self again, then let him know that you are armed to the teeth and will die in the last ditch." Prepared For the Worst. "Why. Sarah, how can you think so badly of my husband?" was asked. . "It would be the same with any man. ' If he's a kicker he's no right to Vo oily and sweet and throw folks off their j guard. I sha?.l sleep this night, with ;; the family ax under my pillow." Mr. Bowser came home with a forty ! candle power srmie on ms pmz ami j greeted Mrs. Bowser with a kiss. A j l>olitician on the car and called his : candidate a robl>er, but he had only j laughed at the idea. A cross eyed passenger had taken him for some one else and dunned him for $2 borrowed money, but the incident had only pro- j voked a smile. At the table he com- ! plimented the diuner as a whole. He j said it was a regular banquet. lie j said the cook ought to be working in j the White House at a hundred dollars ! a month. lie said that if he could always be sure of having such a home j and such a dinner he would give up ! trying to go to heaven. He said that he would rather come home than go to 1 a cabinet dinner. He said that on ! numerous occasions he had sought to j dabble bis hands in the lifeblood of the old "yaller" cat. but never without ; his conscience pricking him afterward, I and he had fully aud firmly decided j never again to seek to harm a hair of I her body. It was one of the most entertaining j dinners for months and raoatus, and, j although the cook gave Mrs. Bowser j a glance of warning every time she j brought in a new dish, there was no . cloud on the horizon. The greatest surprise of all came when the meal i had been finished. Mr. Bowser pulled , a couple of theater tickets from his j pocket aud announced that he had or- j dered a carriage to convey them to : and fro. "But the expense!" gasped Mrs. Bow- j ser. 'Hang the expense! Nothing is too j , good for my little wife." While Mrs. Bowser was dressing and i fluttering about die cook brought the ! stiletto again. it iia?i been bngnrenou up and a sharper point put to it. "Take it and stab him to the heart ! the moment 'he grabs you by the i threat.." she whispered. "I have five : sisters and four cousins, all married \ women. and they go armed most ot ! the time." | liBut you are silly, Sarah." "I'm just prudent. ma'am. I'll leave | it to any policeman 0:1 earth if Mr. j Bowser is not a suspicious character the way be has acted today and if it isn't for you to be on your guard against him. How easy to throttle you in the carriage and throw your body into the street to be run over by the ears! I.et me speak to him and tell liiiu that unless tie brings you safe home I'll have the hounds of justice pursue him for the rest of his life." But Mrs. Bowser decided to trust herself to the situation. It was a good play, and the theater was jammed. People elbowed. Mr. Bowser, and he even begged their pardon for it. They stepped on his toes, banged him around and climbed over him. but lie was a ray of sunshine in a rainy April day. Mrs. Bowser fairly longed for him to kick, but he wouldn't. lie went right at it to enjoy the play, and. although it was a tragedy, he laughed about once In two minutes all through it. ' People around him scowled and hissed and said that any man who would laugh at a death scene ought to be thrown out of the house by the neck, but nothing that could bo said riled bim. He just went right on laughing and saying that it was the funniest play he had seen for forty years. When the finish came Mrs. Bowser expected to be taken right home, but there was another surprise in store for her. She was taken away to a restaurant, and Mr. Bowser ordered lobster and champagne and other things regardless of expense. He said he was a happy man. He said that life was worth living. He said they would go to the theater every night in the week thereafter and he would order a thousand lobsters and a barrel of champagne sent yp .tp.^he house next L ready for your inspection. W rle and prise. Our line of Ladie r Easter wearing apparel. *apest to the finest dress ;heir headquarters while in the factory. PLA1 Columbia day. When' the supper was ended anu Mr. Bowser was looking for the carriage Mrs. Bowser had the great good fortune to run across their family doctor. who was also in the place for a bite to eat. ' Oh. I'm so glad!" she exclaimed as tliey shook hands. "It's about Mr. Bowser?" he queried. "Yes. Doctor, do you know"? Struck a New Era. "I know all about it. 1 saw him on the car when he went home, and, I j was only four seats back of you in j the theater tonight." "You saw him laughing?" "I did." "And he wouldn't kick at anything!" "I took notice." "And this splendid dinner?what do you make of it?" "You need not be at all alarmed. Mr. Bowser has simply struck a new era. All husbands do now and then." "But Low long is it going to last? I j confess that I'm almost afraid of him." These eras sometimes last fifteen minutes and sometimes twenty-four hours. Knowing Mr. Bowser as I do, I should say that he'll he the same old Bowser when he wakes up tomorrow morning." And the doctor was right. Mrs. Bowser overslept herself by a quarter of au hour, and what woke her up was Mr. Bowser saying as he hunted arouud the room for a missing sock: "By thunder, woman, 3*011 got up in the night and threw that sock out of the window just to spite me! The time has come when you and I have got to have a long talk together, and if it lands you in your mother's home without alimony don't you blame me for it!" M. QUAD, j taqpiH " ' By Natural Means. "Do you always," asked the country j friend of the professional chauffeur, j "go fast when you are showing 3"our machine to a prospective customer?" "Sure!" answered the chauffeur. "If you uotice my trail 3*011 can see for yourself I'm out for the dust."?Baltimore American. I 1 Childhood's Sunny Hours. It I ;h - ! I? "Goodness, sonny, what's the trou- J ble?" "Nawtliiu'. I just wanted to see if j I had forgotten how to cry?booboo!" ?St. Louis Post-Dispatch. t j Mohammedan Serenity. A Mohammedan people enjoy one | great advantage over all others?they j never suffer from the anticipation of J that which is to conic, and. as a natu ral result, they can always enjoy the j present, although only a few hours j may separate them from disaster cr | even from death. Their implicit he- ! lief in an ordained future imparts a j dignified repose and outward calm to j all their actions. Thus, in spite of the j trials and troubles which threatened j the state during my stay at Fez, a i smooth surface of unchangeable seren- j ity veiled the inner thoughts of every individual, from the sultan to the no- ; gro at his gates.?Blackwood Magazine, j t ' i London Street Noises. A hundred years or so ago no punishment could have been worse than that of subjecting the victim to the inferno of modern London noises if they had then existed. Dropping water on the forehead, torturing with i tweezers, setting food before the starving culprit?out of reach?all of these were exquisite and refined forms of horror, but they all pale before a night and a day in a modern London street ?Town and Country. .. .. I e have never shown a finer line s1 Dress Goods embraces everyt n?iton4 lAottiAfc 'snrl uah' IWUIIIVI UMU JVM city. We guarantee to please rT & i, S. C. assortment, so y ways get what place. Our stock of E and Wagons is t] in South Carolin Our Guarantee I Gregory = 11 G-irl Bnrned to death In Historic Mansion. Winchester, Va., April !.?Miss Virginia Carter, the young daughter of Reese B. Carter, was burned to death this morning in a fire which destroyed her home, "Yellew House," at Rest, 1.. _r iL X t_ ' .X ! una euuniy, one oi me mosi Historic structioures in the State. Both Mr and Mrs Carter were badly burned in a futile [effort to save their daughter. They are expected to recover. "Yellow House" was more thon 200 years old and was the scene of many notable events during Revolutionary and Civil war times. Gen. George Washington stopped there while on his way to Braddock's relief at Fort Duquesne, and during the conflict between toe States jit was the home of Mi9s Rachel Wright, whose information to j Gen. Sheridan was of such value to j the federal army dining his valley ! campaign that congress voted her a j gold medal in appreciation of her 9er- j vices. * ! "Yeggs"iEscape la Greenville, j Greenville, April 4.?Blasting a hole ; in the rock bottom of their cell at the ! jail here, Garber Moore, known a9 [ "Tennessee Dutch," and George Bar- i ton alleged yeggmen, arrested in Bir- j mingham and brought here on March J 10, early this morning broke jail and j made their escape. "Tennessee Dutch" has used many i aliases, among them being John Ruth- j erford John Hinklei Jake Moore and j "Gobbler." lie is one of the most notorious crooks who has operated in this country. His pal, George Barton, is equally well known in police circles. The watchman on duty buteide the cell says heldoes not know how or j when the prisoners left. Subscribe t>: the Dispatch. ? ir-V|fflj.o iitu'j m'rfi Urii'i'i' ifl'f n i n n 1 m'J of Millinery. Our hats compare ;hing that's new and stylish. A II find our prices right. ; in every instance, and will SON WE NOW HAH f About one car loa< and mares. _____ < We do not cs large number tl months but alwa ou can nearly alyou want at our J luggies, Carriages lie best and largest a. Means Something. Conder Mule 13 Hampton Street, Columbia, S. Lynch Negro For Murder. I Pensacola, Fla., April 5.?Dave Al! exander, a negro, was lynched here j this morning for the murder of Police- j i man Canton, whom the negro stabbed | to death Sunday while resisting ar| rest. j While the police station was compartively deserted, a crowd of 2o | men at the point of revolvers, took i the black man from his cell and i hanged him* from an electric light I pole a half block from the jail. As j the body swayed in the air, 40 bullets i were fired into it by the mob. t ^ m j The Hew Eeporter. ! Said the editor to the new reporter, i ' as quoted by an exchange: "You ! ! must learn never to state a tmng as I ! a fact until it has been proved a | fact. You are apt to get us into libel ! suits. Do not say, 'The cashier who 9tole the funds, sav The cashier who | I is alleged to have stolen the funds. Thats all. Oh, get something about that First Ward social to-night." And this is the report turned in by the young man, who heeded the editor's warning: "It is rumored that a card party was given last evening to a number of reputed ladies of the First j Ward. Mrs. Smith, gossip, says was ' the hostess, and the festivititiesarere- ! 1 ported to have continued untile 11:30 J in the evering. The allegd hostess is said to be the wife of John Smith, the so-called high-priced grocer." P. J. Rucker, Columbia, S. C.,says: Don't, fail to hnv the wonder earden huckleberry, nothing better for mai^ ! beast or poultry, making 1,000 bushels to the acre on poor land. Noth- ; ing better to improve land. After Christmas you can gather 500 bushels of dry huckleberries and seed from one acre. I am feeding them to poultry and stock; nothing better. Huckleberry seed, package, 15c. you can Plant in May?the sooner the oetter. i r most favorably TiTh *9 as 11 of the latest silks B 6=^ | I fE ON HAND d of fresh mules ' irry our usual trough the dull lys carry a nice Company c. . P. ROOFLEXINGTON, S. C., t for all kinds of ' rming Implements. WRITE FOR PRICES. . ^ WEAR J Our ~ special $3.50 Oxfords and know the comfort and satisfaction that goes with wearing Oxfords that fit you right. A shape for every foot in a style that will please. Tan and Black. Ehrlich's] Shoes Wear Beet, Cost I<es9. EHRLICH'S, L643 Main St., ( A|l| lllflDIA C f* 1627 Mam St., i UULUBIDIA, di lie Electric Bitters Succeed when everything else fails. In nervous prostration and female weaknesses they are the supreme remedy, as thousands have testified. FOR KIDNEY, LIVER AND STOMACH TROUBLE it is the best medicine ever sold over a druggist's counter.