The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, October 14, 1908, Image 9
H Ibe Wbitten Dry
The Big Store with iiH
oM
II
Although our
?3 are the pink (
88 Sreat sal(
SS versary of th<
Q 1908, ahead o
83 the Wall Stre
v ^ out the entire
f SS tlie pronts oi (
S3
MMMfMMjflttMie
I COBBLER_GETS WISE'
I How He Succeds In Keeping Himself
From the Poorhouse.
i *
GIVES THE TIP TO OTHERS.
>
Tells What Happens In His Shop and
Methods Used In Jollying Customers?The
Fat Widow Woman With
the Family of Five.
[Copyright, 1808, by T. C. MoClure.]
If yon vhas some cobbler shops and
h&f some customers you must keep 'em
or you vhill soon be In der poorhouse.
Every Monday morning I know vhat
shall happen In my shop. A worn ana
comes in who vhas der mother of six
children. She brings one pair of shoes
ft ftnn Tf rhn? an fnr two
years, und every time she says:
'Cobbler, it you didn't know me,
would you believe I haf six children at
? home?"
Not at all,** I says. "I think maype
you haf one child, but no more."
"Und you wouldn't belief 1 vhas
forty-live years old?"
"If a man tells me dot I say he vhas
some liars. You don't look some over
|jjj3|j||
I
"HE TAKES HOLD OF MY HAND TOD BAYS
I VHAJS A SYLPH."
thirty. It vbas shust positively wonderful
how you hold your age."
"My husband says to me der other
day dot I vh&s some old womans and
mast not laugh any more."
"Tour husband vhas a Wind man.
Laugh! Thy, I rather hear you laugh
dan any tea womens I know oL You
shust keep right on growing young,
imd if tout husband should die von
yhlll find feefty men dot likes to marry
der widow, children and all.M
I dont belief it bat it vhas my
dnty to say ao. Der womans don't believe
it bat It vhas pleasant to hear,
and so she brings all der shoes to me,
and it vhas all right
Every Monday afternoon an old
maid who lives mit her sister drops
in. She can't always bring her own
shoes to be mended, and so she brings
her sister's or her sister's childrens.
Sometimes K vhas old shoes to be fixed
oop fur der poor. I belief dot womans
vhas thirty-fife years old, and
8he has sooch a plain face dot my aog
bark at bar, bat vhen she comes into
der shop I vhas alvhays ready to call
out:
"Good afternoons, Miss Blank. It
does me good to see how young und
happy you vhas courting last night"
"Now, cobbler?now!" she giggles as
she tries to blush.
"Vhell, I like to be young und handsome
und reech, and you see how soon
I come courting. I hear dot more ash
ten girls around here like to move
avhay because dey vhas Jealous of
you."
"Say, cobbler," she almost whispers
ne rHa nita flown. "T like th be hon
est mit you. Vhas I awful homely?1
"Awfully homely! Good gracious,
but vhat put dot idea into your head?"
"My sister says so vben she gets
mad at me."
"But she says so to spite you. You
vhas not so handsome ash Viola Allen,
but you haf a strong, intelligent face,
und der mans who gets you for a wife
gets a prize. You vhas no namby
parnby, but a womans mit brains. I
Gnnilo f n R R F A T
UUUtfd l)U. ?
ttle Prices. J|||
magnificent stocks
)f perfection, indis]
3 is launched for a
e opening of the Ti
f those of October,
et money sharks it
stores, involving c
)ur sales for Octob
w%ij^L'KrK<rM
1
belief you once told me you viias
twenty-three years old. I can hardly
belief it vhas over twenty."
Mad? Old Maid Giggle.
Vhell, dot makes der old maid giggle
und hug herself und be happy for
a whole week. It don't cost me anything
to say so, und it vhas worth a
hundred dollars to her. Do you belief
dot any dago cobbler could get her
custom avhay from me? Not on your
life! On Tuesday morning der old
widower comes in. He has three pairs
nf? chrioq nnd roiA nftir vhflS to be fixed
oop every tima Ho vhas seexty years
old and all crippled oop mlt rheumatism,
but be likes to get married
again.
"Yhell, cobbler, bow vhas it?" be
says ash be comes In.
"It couldn't be better. No need to
ask you how you vhas today. You
come tripping In like a young mans
of twenty-fife. I thought you once
told me you vhas almost feefty?"
"Yes, I said so.*
"Und dot your rheumatism vba.i awful
bad?"
"Vhell, I baf a few twinges on a wet
day."
"Get out! -You vhas shoklng. If I ask
a man how old be. think you vhas, be
says forty at der.dutside, and if I ask
bim about your rheumatism be says
dot you vhas spry enough to lead a
dance. Do you know dot if I vhas like
you I'd be off bunting in der Rocky
mountains?"
He smiles nod chuckles, and pooty
soon he drops his voice a leetle and
says, "Cobbler, sometimes I think of
getting married again."
"Of course. Vhy not?"
"1 vhas alone in der world, yon
know, und it vhas lonely for me."
"Certainly It vhas. Good gracious, It
I vhas like you I'd be married in a
month."
"To a woman about forty years old?"
"Not on your life! To a girl not over
twenty-two. You vhant to marry some
one young enough to climb trees, go
fishing, slide down hill und keep der
house lively."
He smiles to himself und don't say a
word for a long time. Deo he leans
over to me trad whisners:
"Cobbler, you should be in der president's
cabinet instead of here. If you
happen to know a young girl of about
twenty you might mention my name to
her."
On "Wednesdays it vhas der fat widow
womans mit four grown up sons
and daughters. She vhas short and
dumpy. She vhalks like some ducks.
She sails In mit her head held high uod
begins:
"Cobbler, dis may be my last visit to
you."
"Great heffensr
"Yes, I think of goto# far, far
avhay."
"But vhy?"
"Vhell, one of my married daughters
shust called me an old fool again.
Dofs about one hoonered times I haf
heard it from my children, and I can't
stand it no more."
"Your children shouldn't talk dot
They," I says as she sits down and
wipes her eyes, "Maype you like to tell
me vhat it vhas about?"
"Of course. Dofs vhat X am here for.
You vhas my cobbler and can be trusted.
Last night I had a beau."
"Dot vhas right"
"He vhas a nice man, and tie owns
half a brewery."
"Perfectly proper. If I own half a
brewery and don't be married I oourt
TV?l mrtml# n<t "
# v ^ vrv vi?.
"He says be sees me ten times before
end vhas charmed mlt me."
"Anybody most be."
He Lifcec Her FJgttre.
"He likes my figure und my walk,
and be says my face vhaa rapturous.
Haf you ever noticed dose things about
me?"
"Have I? By golly, do you belief I
vhas a blind inans because I vhaa a
cobbler? What eiee did he say?"
"He takes bold of my hand trad
says I vhas a sylph. Cobbler, I vhas
grandly educated, but I forget for a
moment vhat a sylph vhaa. Can you
ur. J. a_ a 1A ~
itru i aiy uaugnieT saya n viuw a
load of hay, but I can't belief dot"
"Your daughter vhas sbeeloos. A
sylph, my dear womans, means a female
of perfect form, shost like you.
It means dot she vhas wavy und wobbly.
It means dot she can spring over
mud paddles and shump over logs und
ditches. Yon haf read of Lillian Russell,
der actress, haven't you?"
"Jt seemsjllie I ha<LH _ _ _ _
ATdidlluiic
3 in all departmer
putably supreme
two fold reason:
n-County Fair at ]
1907. With the;
J _ TT 1 ^ J-.
i s aii xieruumajLL u
>ver half the stoc]
er, come here and
OH
BcK/t;eslt?u
"Vheil, she vhas a sylph one time,
und you don't know how proud she
vhas of It She beliefs dot der next
thing she vhlll be an angel. Den she
eats too many oysters on der one-half
shell und vhas a sylph no longer. InRtoart
she vhas a solid. Lock out for
one-half shell oysters, widow."
"I shall, thank you. Den you think
?think"?
"Of course I do."
"Dot I ought to get married again?"
"Sure, Mike. Marry de half or de
whole owner of a brewery or any other
good man, und If your children won't
like It tell 'em to go hang."
So It vhas from Monday to Saturday
over und over again each week.
I speak to all. 1 flatter alL I lie to
all, but I send *em avhay happy, und
dey come again, und I keep my customers.
Vhas dere some frenzied
finance about dot? M. QUAD.
> ^
OWE TOUCH OF NATURE.
A Ofeptay of Oourtoay Memory of
Old Virginia."
All the seats were taken In the oar
which I entered one morning in early
April An old colored man eat next the
door. It la not often in these days that
I eoe that type of black man. I need to
eee that kind on the odd Virginia plantation*
where he was wUng Uga" or
"Ung Sambo" to all the household.
His days were devoted to useful toil
and his evenings to his banjo and the
old plantation melodies that no one
con ever sing again as musically as
they wece sung then.
"Take this seat mistis," he said, rising
promptly. "Mlstls" sounded very
-noracy- ana pieasaiw to ma. lz nau
been so long slnoe I was "mistis" to
anybody.
"Thank you, nude," said L "Keep
your seat I would just aa lief stand."
"Sense me, please, mistis, but 'taint
fitten fer you ter stan1; you urns' set"
be admonished respectfully.
I took the seat thanking him for bis
courtesy. Soon a departing passenger
left a vacancy.
"There is a seat for you," I said to
the old man.
"Between the Ladies, .matam?" He
hesitated.
"Yes," I said.
He bowed apatagetfcafty to right and
left and took the vacant place. Just
before leaving the car I slipped a silver
piece Into bi3 hand, saying, "Uncle,
get you a nice luncheon with this
?to memory of old Virginia." |
"lhahk yon. my mistis," he Bald,
ope&ng his hand to look at the little
gift and then closing It I left the cdr
with a sunnier fieetlng to my heart be*
cause of the chance meeting, bat with
no thought that I should ever again
hear of my old Virginian.
That afternoon X received a bench of
arbutus which had been left for me by
an old colored man?'"fer the tall lady
with a long bine coot an' white hairto
memory of ote Virginia an' dem old
Ome days."?Llpptocotfs Magazine.
A Distinction Without a Dfffwwio?.
jbTre-yeap-oiO ueooraD nan. oeen invited
to take luncheon at a restaurant
with Miss K.
"Do you like cocoa T she was asked.
When the answer was "Yes," the
Deverage was duly brought, b?t remained
cc tasted.
At last Miss K. eatd, "Why don't you
drink your oocoa. Deborah, when you
Bald you wanted It?"
"I dMn*t say I wanted It," repfted
the child politely. "I only said that 1
liked it"?Woman's nome Companion.
NatoraUy.
Towrte?Sleep well?
Stubbs?Like a top?never lose a
wink.
"Oreo? SooCtl What do you take?*
"An alarm dock to my room and
then set the alarm for half an tour
after I go to bed. As soon as It rings
I naturally roil over and go to-sleepf?
Pfck-Me-Up.
Helping Htm Out.
Borrows?I say, old man, I wish yon
woo Id help me out today.
Busyman?Haven*t time to do ft myself,
but I'll call the porter. John,
open the door and help the gentleman
ooh?Chicago News.
"The best lightnlDg rod for yoor proa
11 r? n.i-v m .l .1 /. C'm/vws/...
uaruuu, saya iiitiyu v\ jtuu t-uicisuu,
ns your own spine."
its-?8 complete stores withi
in all that is new, novel, pr
First, 'tis a fitting celebrati
Batesburg; Second to force
yield of cotton short and the
ask necessitating a price cut
Ks. If you value money. I
participate in this great fea
LY GOODS C
Ll*g9 ?.
FALL CLOTHING, DRY!
stop: uoo]
Just received a new and full lii
and colors to select from. We ;
satisfaction.
Big lot of new Shoes, all styles
buy.
Everybody knows the place?I
from Seaboard depot, and our 1
Union depot.
Al FX L
919 Gervais Street and 402 I -2 N
*.
WIRE F]
SWANSEA,
IT CITIZENS OF
Do You Need
FURNI'
We have every article in this line,
" . i 1 - 1 1 \\T? 4.
|| Installment, are tne very iuweai. vrc i
|| giving them just what they want at pri<
erate what we carry in stock, but we ass
see us, you will find any kind of Furniti
Bed Room, Dining Room or Kitchen,
you read this advertisement and be sure
NEW HOME SEWING MA CHIN!
installments. See us before you buy.
1208 Main Street,
======
fi3f&Sfi?B|8?5?SSgSSSS
The Whitten Dry Goods Co. ?
The Store with Newest Styles Big- m
gest Stock, Lowest Prices.
n and under one roof, S3
actical and beautiful, ?8
on of the second anni- go
our sales for October, g
i price fixed so low by
;ting crusade through- gS
f you care to share in 55
. -a. : GO
LSI Ui UfcU'g cULLS., **
UO. gg
nnnnA ftp&sBa"ff,&?
ijuuuo, btnio
INGS and SHOES!
k! listen:
le of Fall Suits, latest styles
guarantee a fit and will give
and prices. See us before you
Blum Old Stand?three doors
dam street store is opposite
VYOUB,
lain Street. . Columbia. S. C.
ENCING!
Ittebnrg Perfect Wire Fence is the very best fence manutured.
Hence, onr reason for handling this kind. We have
t'recived two car loads?all sizes, weaves and patterns. The
ces are jnst as low as can be fonnd anywhere.
n 1 1 l*
nenerai mercnanaise.
)ur stock of General Merchandise embraces everything?Dry
ods, Notions, Shoes, Hats, Ladies' Dress Goods, Gents' Fuming,
Groceries, Hardware, etc.
Ve are in the business to please, and all we ask is an inspec*
a of our stock and an inquiry as to our prices and terms,
rive us a call.
& CRAFT,
: : S. C.
LEXINGTON, ^
Any Kind of
TURE!
and our prices, either for Cash or
ake pride in serving our customers,
? A ^ X h A 1 X f l ? ?-a /^A 1 /\nn X A A V% f 1 ?V?
?*tJS llia.1 SUlt. 11 IS USUlt'SS LU CiiULLI- I M
lure you, if you will only drop in to fl
i]re you may need for your Parlor fl
Think of us while at home when H
to call when in Columbia. fl
ES?Low prices for cash and liberal H
nnummiE to. I
Columbia, S. C. I
-???1^ I