The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, February 12, 1908, Image 10
IP'"'" '
f BOWSER THE 'IGEL7'
_ /4
% 1
' "Writes Play and Urges Manager
it. to Put It on the Stage.
"; ?
J' BALKS AT GIVING UP $1,000.
|-j
Barrel of Prunes and the Mammoth
Cave of Kentucky Are Features of
I the Production?Talks It Over In a
l. Saloon.
. " ?
ICopyrlght, 1907, by the McClure Newspaper
Syndicate.]
; JJTOm 3 ocioca me ouier aneiuuyu,
yrhen Mrs. Bowser received a tele0
phone message from Mr. Bowser to
have dinner half an honr ahead of the
fesnal time, to half past 5, when he
came home, she was fretting and worrying
as to the reason. He had re-fused
to make any explanations over
1&he wire. He might be going to invest
in a traveling side show for the winter
or have decided to head an expedition
ifo the north pole in person. Some onev
"might have sold him a new thing in
t. folding beds or he might be going to
^invest ^n somebody's headache cure.
1 -She must simply wait his arrival to
find out He was home at the minute
he said he would be, and instead of
keeping her on the anxious seat he led
right off with:
v; s Hl suppose my message mystified
you somewhat, but I could not give
things away over the pho^e. Mrs.
Bowser, be prepared to be astonished."
c "I am always prepared," she replied.
V ""i XXUHK i nave/euruc*. cue
thing' of a lifetime.' In fact, I know I
!
*IE* PBUNES ABE EMPTIED OUT OK THE
STAGE AKDJV^YOUXG GTEL HEADED UP
JLfi A WBItltu.
have. Something was thrown at me
-~ .today in which there is barrels [of
- money, and ifs a dead'sure thing."
; "Is it a chicken farm?"
"Not on your life."
"Going into the dairy business?'
; "Not at alL" . '
"I saw in the papers this morning
that some one had invented a ladder
0 that could be extended to reach the
fv- twenty-fifth story of a. building and
yet be folded up and carried in the
.vest pocket Have you been interested
to that?'
.1 Not Interested In Fakes.
r/- "I am not in the ladder business, nor
.' am I wasting time on other fakes:
Mrs. Bowser, I came home one eventog
last winter and started in to write
a play. Perhaps you will remember
:;> the occasion?'
k. "Yes, I do." V'
? "The-scene of the play was laid in
Bagdad, in order that Bagdad curtains
& might be used to dress the stage at the
least cost" \
-0- "Yes."
"The second act took place in Kentucky,
in order that we might use the
Mammoth cave without having to '
.... move it"
"I remember."
"The third act shifted to Turkey
" ? * vrr-%. 4A ATT o ho rrol rtf
Bgaiu. H C Wj^uicu IV ouvn a
^Turkish primes, In fact, the prunes
are emptied out on the stage and a
young girl headed up in the barrel."
"Yes."
"The fourth and last act is laid in a
garret in this city. Garret is right at
hand when wanted. I had all these
things in the play, and yet you condemned
it You said it would be a
* dead failure because I had the heroine
open a can of tomatoes with a hairr
pi* "
- "It was not that alone, dear," replied
Mrs. Bowser. "You are not an actor,
you don't go to the theater once a
year.. You know nothing whatever of
stage business. It would be utterly
Impossible for you to write a play. I
was sorry to tell you so, but I felt it
to be my duty. 1 hope you don't think
of wasting any more time."
"No, ma'am, I don't," he replied,
with a grim smile. "Permit me, if you
will, to announce the fact that after
V you got through tearing my play to
nieces I went ahead and finished it
mr ?
- without another word to you, keeping
the manuscript f t the office. I carried
It out on the lines as laid down. I had
the can of tomatoes opened by the
trembling hand of the dying heroine.
The play was finished last week."
"But I should have thought you
would have said something about it."
< "Not a word. Not a hint. You had
said that it wpuld be the rankest kind
of a failure?that it would be guyed off
the ?tage.y I could look for no sympathy
and encouragement from you. I
believed in the play. I believed that
the Mammoth cave and that can of
tomatoes would make the hit cf the
decadez to say nothing of the barrel of
\ .
' *3^" v.'-- .. . - " ?s
prunes. I believed it, but kept still |
until I could spring a surprise on you."
"I see. And now you are ready to
spring one?"
"I am. Today a theatrical manager
who had somehow heard of my play
called at the office and asked for the
privilege of glancing over it. In just
twenty minutes by the watch he announced
that it was a corker. In
twenty-one minutes he announced that
it would create the sensation of the
season. A minute later he said#that
he must have it at any price. You
had. condemned the play. You had
torn it to tatters, ana yet nere was a
manager of thirty years' experience
who said that it was a play to make
me rich and famous. You can thus
see what your criticisms amounted
to."
"And what are you going to do?"
asked Mrs. Bowser.
"What any man with brains would
do under the circumstances. The play
Is going out on the road at once. We
shall give the order for the scenery
and the lithographs tomorrow. He is
going to try and engage Lillian Russell
for the star part She has to be
chucked into the empty prune barrel
In the third act, but he says she won't
mind the chucking if she's getting $200
per. He will be here within an hour
to talk over final details, and if you
have anything to say you can say it
now."
"Then I want to say that the manager
is probably making a fool of
you."
"W-h-a-t!" exclaimed Mr. Bowser,
Jumping from his chair.
"That manager has taken you for a
soft mark."
"Mrs. Bowser, do you realize what
you are saying? Have you the least
idea who you are talking to?"
Jeered at His Play.
"I don't want to hurt your feelings,
but I must say again that it was a
poor play. In fact, it was no play at
all. You might try for a million years
and not find any reputable manager to
read more than a page of the manuscript
Now, then, for heaven's sake,
don't let somebody make a fool of
you. He simply wants to get some
money out of you. He's coming here
this evening to ask . you to back the
play. If you do, you will lose every
dollar you put into it"
"And this to me?to me!" gasped Mr.
Bowser as he stored at her and winked
his eyes. "You are my wife, and
yet you talk that way to me. It's not
a good play. The manager "takes me
for a fool. He wants to do me up."
There was an awful silence lasting
for a minute. Just how Mr. Bowser
would have broken loose and just
what damage he would have done will
nofnr he* tnnwn TTa was drawing a
long breath and getting ready for a
move when the doorbell rang, and he
passed down the hall to admit the
manager. Ten seconds later he had
clapped on his hat and taken the manager's
arm, and they were walking up
the street together.
Mr. Bowser suggested that they sit
down on the steps of the church and
talk it over.
The manager suggested that they go
to a saloon and talk while sipping
their beer.
They went to a saloon.
The manager ordered beer, and the
bartender collected the dime of Mr.
Bowser as a matter of course. Onetwo?three
beers. One?two?three
dimes. Then the manager said:
"It's a corker. It's a daisy. It's a
play that is going to knock 'em all
silly. It will draw the people by the
million. Two more beers, please. Yes,
Bowser, we have got a gold mine.. I
can't understand how you got the
idea."
"Oh, it just came to me," was the
modest reply.
"Well, it will be worth a cool million
to you. Ain't you thirsty again? Yes,
sir, a cool million. We can't get Lillian
for the part. She says she can't
bear the smell of prunes, but there
won't be no trouble in finding a hundred
others to take the part. Ah, two
more beers! All you have to do is to
put $1,000 into the play and it's"?
"But I don't propose to put any thousand
dollars into it," replied Mr. Bowser,
\
"You don't? Let's have some more
beer, bartender. Why, if you can't put
in at least $1,000, how do you expect to
trr>? flia rklov rmf"5 T'ra shnwn mv fon
uav vww? * 'V .. ? ?^ ?
fidence, and now it's for you to show
yours. Say"?
Mr. Bowser rose up and walked out
and went home. Mrs. Bowser looked
up inquiringly as he entered the sitting
room, but he sat down and took
up the evening paper, and it was fully
ten minutes before he observed that all
the weather signs pointed to a hard
winter. M. QUAD. |
Chamberlain's Diarrhoea Remedy.
Never fails. Buy it now. It may save life.
M
Dispensari
Total Invc
Dispen sary. No. Location. Stock on
Day o
Lexington 1 Lexington $4,1
Lewiedale 2 Gilbert 2,6
Peak 3 Peak 6,\
Brookland 4 New Brookland 4,5
Total $16,STATE
OF SOI
Lexington
Personally appeared
Lexington County Di
deposes and says that
Sworn to and subscril
G. A. Derrick,
?gw??BEajua a?bmb?
A STRENUOUS RULER. j
?
Daring, Coolness and Bravery of '
James IV. of Scotland.
One of the interesting characters of !
history is James IV., king of Scotland
from 1473 to 1513. He was athletic,
courageous and fond or adventure, in |
putting down insurrections and improving
the criminal administration of
the country he was foremost in the
ranks and did not shun a hand to loand
contest. He married a daughter of
Henry VII. of England and made a
treaty which secured peace between
the two countries. He labored to build
up a navy and develop commerce and
showed skillful diplomacy in, dealing
with other nations. He was Killed in
battle at Flodden, where his army
was disastrously defeated by Henry
VIII.
Those were strenuous times, when it
was necessary for a king: to be a fighter
and to inspire his obstreperous subjects
with some degree of terror. King
James used often to go about the country
in different disguises, not only because
he loved adventure, but because
he could thus secure information on
the state of the nation at first hand.
It is related of the vigorous Scottish
king that once when wandering through
the hills during the night he was overtaken
by a violent storm and was
obliged to take shelter in a cavern near
Wemys, which is one of the most remarkable
antiquities of Scotland. Having
advanced some way in, the king
discovered a number of men and women
ready to begin to roast a sheep for
supper. From their appearance he suspected
that he had fallen into evil company,
but as it was then too late he
asked hospitality from them till the
tempest was over. They granted it
and invited the king, who was unknown
to them, to sit down and join
them at supper. They were a notorious
band of robbers and cutthroats,
and this fact soon dawned upon James.
As soon as they had finished their,
supper one of them presented a plate
on which two daggers were laid in the
form of a St. Andrew's cross, telling
the king that this was the dessert they
always served to strangers; that he
must choose one of the daggers and
fight him whom the company selected
as his antagonist The king, realizing
that he was to be murdered, instantly
seized both daggers, one in each hand,
and plunged them into the hearts of
the two robbers nearest to him. He
then dashed out of the cave and made
his escape, returning as soon as possible
with a body of soldiers, by whom
nlr\ hart/1 WOC orr/acf<vl HTIfi miTv.
licly hanged.?Punxsutawney Spirit
?
A BRAHMS ANECDOTE.
The Man Who Spoiled an Evening Fop
the Great Composer.
Among the Brahms anecdotes which
are popular in Germany this one was
contributed by Frau Luise Pohl.
Brfchms liked Baden-Baden and took as
much pleasure in a winter visit to the
place as in the crowded summer time.
The residents kney this when they invited
him in 1S76 to come and direct
some of his works. After the concert
the friends of the master assembled
at Goldemen Kranz by invitation
of the oberburgermeister ganner to
"drink a glass of wine." The session
lasted long, but gradually the company
grew smaller. Presently they had all
gone except Brahms and Cornelius
Rubner. After awhile even Brahms
suggested homel and his young companion-eagerly
agreed to adjourn the
session. On the way home Brahms
asked his companion, whose name he
had not heard, "By the way, do you
know this young director ituDner:"
"Are you interested in hird?" he asked
by way of answer.
"Certainly. Adolf Jensen thinks he
is not only great, but genial. Don't you
know him?"
"I know him very well. He is an ar|
375
1 Square Feef of Fl<
1 PUMPS, PULLEYST
I AMD m
I Plumbing
I ai.J
i ouuTiiern dial
1 COLUMI
iONTHLY STATEMENT OF
es in Lexingtc
Tor Month of January, 1908.
)ice Including ' Operating E:
Hand first Total Sales. . of Each
f Month. Dispensai
)33 84 $2,043 98 $104 29
!91 42 - 1,343 69 70 42
T03 70 1,950 34 88 4<
>20 91 1,773 47 93 28
149 87 $7,111 48 $356 46
JTH CAROLINA, )
County. \
d R. L. Keisler, J. W. Adcly, J. L. Shuler,
spensary Board, who being each duly and
; the foregoing statement is true and correc
R
J,
J.
County D:
bed before me this 7tli day of February, 19
Notary Public.
/
A
rogant, conceited &.d:ow, who can do
nothing aiul knows nothing."
; The pleasure of the evening was
spoiled by this harsh opinion as to a
man whom Brahms had made up his
mind to like. The next morning he attended,
with some others, a breakfast
at Jensen's, where lie told the story.
He had hardly t/tished when the door
opened and Buhner walked in.
' That's the man who slandered your
friend," said Brahms, and when everybody
laughed he suspected what
... J. . ? - It. ^ C ... i
was roiu to mm us suuu us mt* m&i
man recovered.
Using the Fire Buckets.
In many business offices fire buckets
are placed, filled with water, in readiness
for an emergency. It is seldom,
says the Scientific American, that instructions
for use are pinned near the
supply. The wrong way to tackle an
incipient fire is (usually) to hurl the
whole contents of a bucket on the spot.
Most/ of the water is wasted by this
means. A heavy sprinkling is more
effective. The water may be splashed
on the blaze by hand, but a more useful
sprinkler is a long haired whitewash
brush. One of these should hang
beside every nest of fire buckets.
A Doubtfui Assertion.
Browne?They say that drowning ,
men catch at straws.
'jLOwne?les, dul 1 aouui 11. i ve setru
a number of men drown, and those of
them who had any preference at all
seemed in favor of a plank. In fact, I
do not now recall ever having been
asked for a straw by a gentleman who
was drowning?New York Journal.
Extravagant.
Kind Lady?If I give you this penny
what will you do with it? BeggarHire
a motor cab and show me friend
Rigsby the town, ma'am?Illustrated
Bits.
Conceit may puff a man up, but never
props him up? Ruskin.
A Warm Place.
***** ?' 1 "I A
He?You give me such a hot time
when I come home that I wish I were
dead.
She?Well, what difference would
that make??Gadfly. *
V
No Harm Likely.
Miss Knox--She's being treated by
one of those complexion specialists. I
wouldn't let anybody make that experiment
with my face.
Miss Cutting?Why not? He certainly
couldn't make it any worse!?
Catholic Standard and primes.
A Waiting Part.
One of my friends has a playhouse
In her back yard, vahere all the children
of the neighborhood delight to
gather. '
One day she went out to see what a
crowd of them were doing and found
they were playing at "keeping house"
very happily, with one exception, her
own five-year-old son, who was sitting
afar off, rather lonesomely, holding
a large rag doll.
"What's the matter, Sydney?" she
inquired. "Won't the others play with
you?"
"Oh, I'm playing," he replied. "I'm
the stork, but they ain't quite ready for
the baby yet!"?Woman's Home Companion.
?????????i????i?ummm???
iOO |
Dor Space Covered ?
PACKING, ROOFING 1
I PLATE. 1
Supplies. I
les Supply Co. I
jia, s. c. I
HE
>n County
SPenS6S Breakage. St?;k on Hand^t
- jl?ay ox ucluixixx.
7
$ G 80 $2,888 00
2 Go 1,545 08
1 80 1,751 56
! 5 20 8,142 24
$16 45 $9,821 94
members of the
severally sworn,
it.
L. Keisler,
, W. Addy,
L. Shuler,
ispensary Board.
08.
j
^
s-f A-?
&<&$&&<*- > *? rxtiz /AA
^^'>4:->s~..% ^,L r- . * crfr.(?w
-frSW^ scgf;;-"--'-.-.r*l^
' Bigger ^
aiwvJ.iA.r
mt&f Cotton Yields Per Acre r
BB38S?*8^W' a
W<9^~ ^c va^ue ?^ commercial fertilizers has fyM
been demonstrated over and over again by
both government and private comparative k*?^
JO*^* tests. We stand ready to demonstrate to ' 1
BigF y?u at any time that the surest way to "in- 3
^ CXe2iSQ^0Ur yields Ber acre" *s *?use
?1' vuyiiiuruuuiwa j
JjjL^ Fertilizers ' M
^ Hon. R. J. Redding, former Director of the Geor- ^
MM' , giaExp. Station, is authority for the statement that fljk
"experiments made at this station show that well Mm
sgMsfji balanced commercial fertilizer applied to one acre /Is
of land, and well cultivated, may be reasonably expected
to produce an increase of yield of seed
wiUlv/v ^ cotton. At the present price of cotton this would . ^
F j mean a large extra profit (for both lint and seed), a|
// //f after deducting the price for fertilizer." 3
I z&Sgiifi- You'll find reports of many other comparative
I "tests, together with much valuable information con- A&
\ c?rn*n? ^an<^ culture in the new Virginia-Carolina
^ ear Book or Almanac. Ask you local fertilizer S
ligffil}- dealer for a copy?or we'll send you one a
a-" ^ree> ^ y?u write our nearest sales office.
Virginia-Carolina Chemical Co.
I' Richmond, Va. Durham, N.C. II '(
I y ?5ii Norfolk, Va. Charleston, S. C. / ?
I 'i UV* Columbia, S. C. Baltimore, Md. .
Atlanta, Ga. Columbus, Ga. ) <Wj
, / f % C-**r5nnah CL* HC/\r?tcrr?mAn? All a\iMl *
the mmrnrn hardware
Company,
THE HARDWARE PEOPLE
fab iiiuat vab i urrn
r\srt vvnM i i vv iibbi/i
Goods Right. Prices Right.
Right Prices on Good Goods
Headquarters for all kinds of
Hardware, Chattanooga Plows,
Mechanic Tools, Saw Mills,
/ Crockery and Glassware, Shingle Mills,
Majestic Ranges, Engines,
Bucks Stoves and Ranges, L. & M. Paints, ,
Coles Combination Planters.
A full line of Belting?all sizes and kinds carried in
stock.
Let us figuure on your requirements.
HOLM-CM HARDWARE
IlllffiV.
W V V iiJLJL i JiiB -M. y n
I BATESBURG, S. C. |
/ m
H
? I ESTABLISHED 1882. INCORPORATED 1904. S
I THE L D. CHILI CD. I
i ? I
5 MERCHANDISE, 5
| LUMBER, {
! and COTTON. I
aaaMasaaaaaaaaaaBaaaaa *
. Capital Stock - $30,000. ;
m -ui- AAA AAA f
Ii urtaiviaea rroms - 9?v,uvv. . a
CORRESPONDENCE SOLICITED. I ;
| BATESBURG, S. C. f I
1 __________
It will be unnecessary for you to go pjgs^ gtook of Garden Seed,
through a painful, expensive operation *** M >4?*vfcoj* wocu.
: for Piles *70u ?se ManZan Put up Fresh supply of garden seed?differin
collapsible tube with nozzle, ready to
apply to the soreness and inflammation, ent varieties?just opened up at HarFor
any form of Piles, prices 50c. guar- man,9
anteed.
I -/