Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Makes Annual Foray Into the l[ jl Country In Search of Snipe. jlAS INDIFFERENT SUCCESS. x W?fo Hm to Softd For Him at Loot to J . Sovo Him From Wroth of o Doson [ Vtrnwrt-Wa# Taken For a Lwnatie by a 8trang?r. tCopyrifht, INT, by th? McChzre Newspa- >. # p? Syndicate.] * Mr. Bowser bad promised to secure iwo seats for the theater during -die Say and take me in the evening, and when he entered the, house at 6 o'clock frith a broad smite on bte face I felt sac* that nothing had. happened to bring about a disappointment ^Chen yon got the tickets and we. lOMifrk ^ ? *?m ^ ' ? ? - . t - ^ r Tickets? Going? What do you : SMK&r be asked hi a blank way. 5 "Tickets for the theater, of course. X|K ABOTOCDu" ; | "Come fc> think ot It I heHere these | v was something said aboot tickets and the theater, but* met Gfeen^oa the esc; and the thing passed oomptohlfj pv; J^d%?^i meet^ G?*hx have I keen is a gnat Bportwwpk: He catches more flab and e aaipe than any other man He wanted to know If I fw that the snipe shooting ned tomorrow and waa but t1 bad forgotten It" i has got a game knee and at : shooting, bat I'm going Ten know * ga! every fall. 'W ean go to the theater any fait or wlnter-we can go a igbte-bqt I most go adlpe omorrow, I want to get iyagfct; and rn got> bor ^ "-row a pa HOB. W9U0? ana It is true ttfat Mr. Bowser went tnipe hunting, last year and toe y?ar More. It is also true that be didn't even see a snipe; also that he had troux ble with farmers on both occasions and on the last came home with a black eye and his coat Iripped from tall v * to collar. He had then said that he was through with snipe forever; that millions of them might come an'd light on the housetop and ho wouldn't stretch forth his hand. I reminded < c him now of his words, and be replied: "I5ever, Mtsj Bowser?never said anything that could be possibly twisted to mean any such thing! I couldn't have had any fuss with farmers, and If I came home with a black eye it * was caused by a kick from the gun. Xou have got things all mixed up. This puts off our going to toe theater for only a night or two, and I hope you . won't he a booby about it" , , "Oh, I'm not going to complain" I said. "If a husband eares more abort &' . ... . . Kupe man ne aoes acxrav na wue sue must pot op with it" "It Isn't that and you know it Isn't I care mora about yon than I do about five snipe, but I want you to see this x thing in the same light that I da I go oat to khoot* snipe. I get the day in the country. The walking is good for mar rheumatism. I get the exhilaration of shooting a gamy bird. I talk with r t$e farmers about their crops. I drink more or less buttermilk. I meet other Bpdrtsmen,, and we compare notes and get acquainted. I shoot and brjng home four dozen snipe, and we have ; ' snipe pie fbr a week. I feel rejuvenated, am completely restored to feqalth, and during the rest of the fall ^ ;f I go around whistling and singing. I v hope yon won't be selfish In the matter." Oh, What's the Use? Of course 1 told him that I didn't ? ??* Ky\ on/l thai T ahnnM ha (rlad TV OUV IV It nuu m. ouvuiw W e?.u to see him go out and enjoy himself. "What was the use in saying anything to the contrary? He would have gone anyhow. As soon as dinner was over be went off somewhere and borrowed a gun and a game bag and ammunition. 1 and he spent, two solid hours cleaning that gun. It was a gun a rod long* I cap't remember what bore he said it wis nor how many snipe it would shoot to the minute, but the figures were very liberal. All you had to do was to put in anywhere from a dozen to a bushel of cartridges and aim and pull the trigger. I asked Mr. ? ? ?A Bowser ir me gun wusu i iuuut? biateea feet long so that the muzzle eoultf ?f-.; . ' . ' iP Wskr'Mts. i&v^* v- y? - - be used to push snipe off their nests, and for a few minutes the relations : between us were . strained. We had hard^f become reconciled again when -1 asked him what sort of a looking bird a snipe was. He didn't seem to hear the question, and I put it again. Then he looked up, with a red face, and said that some folks called them partridges?some folks who didn't know anything. I had my suspicions, but said nothing further. When we got ready for bed Mr. Bowser charged me as follows: Not to let him oversleep. Not to let him forget the gun. To see that be took some ammonia along in case a snipe bit him. Not to let him forget toNklss me ere he departed. He dldn'tlook for any accident,; pit y a fuse might possibly Wow out some where. N' J Not to let anything t^at the cook might say disturb me. The cook didn't1 know a snipe from a codfish. To remind him to telephone mp whenever he had opportunity daring the day. To remind him the very last thing ! before his departure that he was no dray horse and that if he slaughtered more tb&n twodbeen snipe hewas'not" to try to- br^sg them/home on his hack. Mr. Bowser woke up at midnight ahd got up to find that the weather : was all right for snipe; again at 1, o'clock, at 2, at 3, at d. The weather continued all rlghtt and he /% was ] thrashing around In bed and killing snipe by the dart load when I woke ' him at 5. He dressed, hurried down and devoured a piece of bread and | butter and was out of tbe house with that long gun on his shoulder before I was fairly awake. He hadn't waited to be reminded of anything. The milk-1 man was at the door, and I heard him ask if there were grizzly bears around and if they had teeth, but his Inquiries remained unanswered. When I finally went, down to my breakfast I found tbe cook in tears, and when I asked the cause she replied^ < "I weeps for you, ma'am,-and I don't charge you anything extra for it" "But-why weep for me?' "Because Bis. Bowser will be knockinn trees and fences down with the end of that long gun and get himself killed.- u An hour had passed when the telephone rang; and I weqt to it to be i greeted by Mr, Bowsers voice. He 'said: ; -I have reached the country. Am telephoning joo from h brickyard. All the brfcfc men say that there are snipe by the mfiUoQ about a mile farther on. If Is a good thing that I brought 500 cartridges. I am {a the beet of spirits. Goodbgi-, 8nip*Y BHttone of 'Emi Forty minutes later I heard from him again. He said: f "Hello, gtoiy. I am at a farmhouse. Have been inquiring all about buckwheat and cabbages. They are a big chop. The farmer sa^ the snipe must have got wind of mjr coming, as they all flew away fust before my arrival. He estimates the number in the flock at 240QL00Q. X am about to push on After them. Wish I had brought ? thousand cartridges and a gun thirtytwo fleet long. I feel all the erhilaTaT UliiM anvnoMt with > WV1A JL JMMfV WW ? the farmer for the use of his two horse, wagon to bring my snipe home. He is really.au intelligent man.. He doesn't% think the Standard Oil company will pay that fine ftc two "or three weeks yet Goodby." Once more I heard from him. It was two boors later, and I had begun to worry. It was needless, for be said: "I am on the trail of the snipe. There are billions and billions of them, and thef cannot escape me. Wish I had brought 2,000 cartridges. Wish the gun was fifty feet long. Am telephoning from another farmhouse. Farmer says that the bumblebee is preparing- to retire to his lair for the season. One more effort and 1 am among the snipe. Never felt so exhilarated hi my life. By John, but this Is seeing Ufe, this is! Goodby." ? That was the last from him. Hours and hours ipter the telephone called me again, and the voice of a stranger said: / I "If that is Mrs. Bowser I want to ;say*to her that theife is a short, pudgy man with a bald head roaming around oat here and talking about snipe and exhilaration. He claims to be your husband. Will you send for him before the farmers gather and run him off and lock him up for a looney?" I sent for him and brought him home, gun and all, and as I write this ' he lies asleep on the lounge. The doctor says he will probably live through it, but all depends on the nursing. He mfist have been bitten by at least twenty snipe and a dozen farmers. ~ M. QUAD. Not Near Enough. ' cX ' Love Sick Giraffe (making googoo eyes at Miss Gorilla)?Way down in mah heart I've a feeling fo' you. Miss Gorilla (looking dubiously down the giraffe's neck)?Yes, but it's too far off. giree. I can only be a sister to you.?Bohemian. -v / . i | , ] RELIABLE h I Guaranteed I r it n it t rr v! n r rUKNM U lit FOE EVEBY BOOM IN THE HOUSE. VanMi mm . a. I FUNERAL DIRECTOR ^ . HE WANTED SPACE. I \ . - .. Immediate AppJtattton Wm Nto?>ary io TWi Cam. -Is Ke. Champion in this car?" The question, ottered In a load, anxioos sod even appealing tone, arrested the, attention of everybody in the elevated railway ooach, which was crowded, to its utmost capacity. -> - "I luen Mr. W. J. Champion!** All eyes were turned unon^he speaker; a tad, wild eyed welt slder, who was clinging desperately to a strap and trying to steady himself without digging the brim of his hat into somebody's eyes or stepping on some helpless passenger's corns as the car Inched from side to side. 1 *ek again! Is Mr. Champion?I beg your paroon. ?r?tn tne carr "What do you want of him?" gasped the surly passenger clinging to the next strap. "Do you see that sign?" bowled the taU man, pointing iwkh his free hand to one of the advertising cards near the ventilators. "It says. Tor Space In This Oar Apply to W. J. Champion.* I want spaeel I what H understood that I am applying for spaoe in this car right now! If Mr. Champion is not bete, gentlemen, is there any person legally authorized to represent him? i I want space enough to live in, space ? enough to breathe In"? , r But here the train stopped at a sta' Hop, and the rush of passengers who wanted to get off swept the tali man, still protesting at the top of his voice, out into theopen afe?Chfeago Tribune, / * ' Exceptions Prove the Rtrie. I T ? | Angelina; (gushingly)?And so you're a poetf Oh, I do so love poets? There is something so 9thereal a boot thecal She Knew. A physician in a town not far from Philadelphia who has some practice among the colored population in the I vicinity was once awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic ring at his bell. Putting his head out of the window, he inquired, "Who's there?? "It's me, doctah. If s Dinah." "Dinah! What do you want?" "Ef yer please, sah, I wants yer ter come quick ter see my ole man. He's pow'ful sick." "Too bad. What seems to be the matter with him?' "I know whafs de mattah wid him, all right Ifs indigestion ob de kidneys." ' "You mean congestion of the kidneys?' "No, sah; ifs indigestion of the kidneys. He done eat four platefuls ob 'eip. stewed, fer supper, and he ain't done slep' a wink sinoe."?Lippincotf a. Natural. There is a stalwart negro In a town of Alabama whose naturally fine singing voice is the feature of the local colored church choir. On one occasion wnen tne singer was ^iwffiering from a protracted illness one flie' deacons called to ascertain how Vjtfca patient was "gittin' on." "*He's got an awful bad cough jest now," explained the singer's wife, with a most mournful sigh. "Well, dat's too bad, dat's too bad!" exclaimed the deacon, casting about for some means of consolation. Then Prices as low as good merchandise can be retailed for. / / 1313-1319 MAIN STREET, COLUMBIA, S. C. ETRE'S ANn FMRAIMPR nilw kinavriBiiiifeiill . tl- " - "I, y ' c a happy thought struck him. "Come to think of it," he added, "it ain't no wonder, wif dat strong voice he whs press in' on his lungs! He's shore due to have a cough now hi' then, ain't hef?Harper's Weekly. Cool and Calculating. "I suppose you heard - about Miss Key's behavior during the fire. > Why. when the first fireman came up the ladder for her she wouldn't go with him." V 1 ' "What was the matter with her?out of her mind 1" "Not at alt She saw that the second fireman who was coming np was handsomer.'4?Philadelphia Press. fyot a Consistent Performer. It must be some encouragement to learn that your European son-in-law is disposed to be very economical.'4 "H'm!" rejoined Mr. Cumrox thoughtfully. "He makes distinctions. He is not as economical with my money as be is with his own."?Washington Star. Better Than a Mask. "You say he married the cook?" ' "Yes, but she was a college girl in disguise." j "Well, if she was a good cook it was a mighty thorough dlsgMsa"?Philadelphia Ledger.; Tiresome Sport. Patience?Which do you think the mnrp tireAnmA. calf or gkntlnj?? Patrice?Oh, golf! -' A person aits down more while skating!?Yonkers Statesman. * And Charged For AocordfogJy* The steeplejack was cHmbfng the flagstaff surmounting the clock tower. "Tbte Is what I call working over time," he chuckled?Chieago Tribune. Her Stipulation. When a rosy cheeked,' good natured Irish girl fresh from thesother side recently sought employment In the service of a Germantown woman the latter began anxiously to Interrogate the girl as to her qualifications. "Can you cook, Nora?" asked the lady most earnestly. "Are you a good cook?* "Yes, mum; I t'Ink so," responded the girl naively, "if ye'H not try to hdp me."?Harper's Weekly. ?J It Hao. Pupil?I do dislike grummet, tor Its tAUCUUUO fed Kill LL1J UCl TVW. Teacher?You talk as If grammar were an emotional study. Pupil-Well, hasn't it moods ^--Baltimore American. Different Package. "Roper says be always buys his clgars by the box." , "I don't believe it" "Why?" "That stuff is sold by the belet"? Lippineotf s. A Suggestion. "Does the gray matter of the brain ever change Its color?" "I suppose it does when it turns into a book and is read."?Baltimore American. The Retort Courteous. At the terminal of an np the state railroad one day last week a conductor was making a verbal report to the general manager. Among the things that he reported was that his train ! had struck a bear on the way in. j "Was ft on the track?" asked the general manager. "No," replied the conductor. "The train had to go in the woods after ' him.?Philadelphia Ledger. Progress. Towne?Old Skinner declares he does ' all he can to further the natural prog- ] ress of all men. Browne?Yes, his idea of natural progress is for rich men to get richer and poor men poorer.?Catholic Standard and Times. j / j* ' tr . - < ' ~ SEI THE HQLMAN-Cl ware Co THE HARDWAI FOR WHAT Yl Goods Right. Right Prices on Headquarters for Hardware, Mechanic Tools, Crockery and Glassware, Majestic Ranges, Bucks Stoves and Ranges, Coles Combinatic A full line of Belting?all s stock. Let us figuure on yo BWMLH conn V , : ' . , y BATESBURG T ? * \ , WmmmmmmammmmmmmBamm FURNITURE (I AT THE NEW v : f / I . .*: Columbia * We have here now a and High Grade Furnitr ishings not to be surps South. Beautiful Sui Parlor, Hall, Library, Be in Circassian Walnut, D hogany, Bird's Eye Ma Weathered and Golden1 Odd pieces ,in House ers, Cellaretts, Smokers Stands, Clocks, Pedesta! ures, Plate Racks, Rugs, Exclusive agents fo: Cross Sanitary Felt Mat /~i ~ /1-. vxu wurts. All Goods marked in One Low Price to every No misrepresentati< Every article guarantee Yon can boy cheap Purnil We cater only to tradejl want H GIBSON-MI 1409 MAIN ST? C( - QUARTERLY S Lexi] Statement of the net profits of the Le for the Quarter ending December 31, 1907: No. 1. Lexington Dispansary No. 2. Lewieaale Dispensary No. 3. Peak Dispensary No. 4. New Brookland Dispensary R. L. Keisl( J. L. Shulei J. W. Addy STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA, ) Lexington County. \ Personally appeared before me R. L. ] Addy, Lexington County Dispensary Boaix a true and correct statement of the net pre pensary Fund for the Quarter Ending Dece Sworn to and subscribed before me this ) 7th day of January, A. D., 1908. ( G. A. Derrick, Notary Public. ! t * E IliUM WDinpany,' RE PEOPI E OU NEED. Prices Right. Good Goods V all kinds of Chattanooga Plows, Saw Mills, Shingle Mills, Engines, L. & M. Paints, >n Planters. sizes and kinds carried in 1 ur requirements. \ IMMRfi ' in, ? s. c. IF QUALITY STORE OF . * ii pn A LLtn UU. s. c. collection of Medium Lre and House Furn- v issed in the entire ts for Bed Boom, >n and Dining Boom, nil and Polished Matple,-Early English, Oak. V ' Desks,Tables, Bock-: i' Tables, Magazine Is, Tabouretts, Pict, Etc. r the Famous Bed ;tress, and Whitney Plain Figures and body. ms in this Store, d as represented. lure anywhere, ho ligh Class FURNITURE. LLER CO. )LUMBIA, S. C. TATEMENT. - I agton, S. C., January 7th, 1908. ixington County Dispensary Fund M ?1,238 31 809 03 1,138 35 1,633 97 Total ?4,819 71 'r> ) ^ County Dispensary Board. Keisler, J. L. Shuler and J. W. 1 and made oath that the above is )fits of the Lexington County Disimber 31, 1907. i R. L. Keisler, /4 J. L. Shuler, J. W. Addy, County Dispensary Board. A