Hobvser
JSfebif *Rc
[Copyright, 1903. by C. B. Lewis.]
MR. BOWS Kit has no regular
set programme with his
grocer or butcher or coal
man, nor has he any set
policy with the cobbler who builds up
his shoes at intervals or the street peddlers
who shout their wares over his
front gate. It is only with bis family
druggist that he holds to programme
and policy. He began it fifteen years
ago and is sticking right to it yet.
There have been several changes of
family druggists, but no change in Mr.
Bowser. When the old druggist vacates
the corner store and a new one
takes his place, Mr. Bowser is on band
among the first callers. He isn't there
to have a prescription filled cr to invest
in a hot water bag, but to give a little
friendly advice. A dozen grocers may
come and go and he gives them no
heed, but with the family druggist the
case is different.
"My name," begins Mr. Bowser as
he enters the store, 'is Bowser. I live
"SIR, YOU HAVE A DRUG STOKE HERE."
around the corner and half way down
the block. Although I have only a
small family, I am a liberal patron cf
drug stores, and I always pay (rush.
You know your business as a druggist,
do you?"
"I think I do," is the reply as the
druggist colors up.
"That is well. This is no corner for
a druggist who has only half learned
his business. You have come into a
new neighborhood. "Success or failure
will depend upon your personality. Always
greet every caller with a smile
of welcome. Don't take any part in
politics and don't become a fixture at
any particular church. Stand neutral
between capital and labor and don't
have any family rows to cause gossip.
I am advising you as a friend who has
your interests at heart and therefore
speak plainly and to the point. I am
in a hurry this morning, but will call
again soon and give you further pointers.
Menowliile think over and profit
by what I have already said."
The family druggist is generally a
man who sizes up human nature pret
"BY THUNDER, BUT I
ty closely, and he decides to bear with
Mr. Bowser. That's the beginning of
it, and the end only comes when the
poor man dies or finds seme one to
buy him out. Mr. Bowser at once becomes
a sort of guardian and partner
of that drug store. When he isn't playing
guardian and partner he is making
himself a nuisance, and one that
nothing can abate. The interest he !
exhibits in stock and sales couldn't be
- greater if he had $10,000 of his own .
* M..1
money mvesieu.
"Sir," exclaims Mr. Bowser as he I
advances upon The man of drugs and |
walks on his toes and shakes a finger i
I
under his nose, "you have got a drug j
store here, but what is a drug store '
without patronage? I am giving you i
my countenance and support, and {
through me you are getting tiie pat- j
ronage of this neighborhood. If you '
want me to withdraw, if you want nie!
to take my custom elsewhere"?
That settles the family druggist, and
he decides that it is better to bear the
> ills lie has than to be thrown out of
business. lie therefore forces a smiie
to his face and replies:
"You mustn't take what I said so |
seriously. I have depended upon your :
friendly interest and advice right along,
and I shall continue to do so." !
"Then don't virtually tell me that,
this or that is none of my business."
"I surely didn't intend to. Try one
He Act/
Adviser ^nd
Tries His Beyt
ng to Help the
I sfCorner Drug<??
gist Along; *
of the new fifteen cent cigars I got in
this morning."
Mr. Bowser does not stop at general
Interest. His solicitude would be touching
if otherwise applied. He has a
scrapbook wherein he has pasted up
and preserved a score of newspaper
: +/-. -f.-1 + ol nn
Clippings IV latin i.iiouu?v.,
the part of druggists. He is early and
often on the ground with that scrapbook,
and his aim is to keep those fatal
mistakes constantly on exhibition
and in mind.
"Any prescriptions today?" he asks
as he saunters in of an evening with
a box of troches or a bottle of soda
mints in view.
"Three or four," replies the druggist.
"And you? Are you sure you made
no fatal mistake in putting them up?
Lord, man, but there isn't a day passes
that some druggist doesn't put up
morphine for quinine. How can you
be sure that you didn't make some terrible
mistake?"
It's got to be an old story with the
druggist, but he never hears it without
a chill sliding down his spinal column.
He has been in business ten
years and made no mistake, and yet
Mr. Bowser's way of putting things
would give any druggist gooseflesh.
"So easy to do it, you know," continues
Mr. Bowser with positive enjoyment.
"Look at that case In Oshkosh
a month ago. There was a druggist
who had been in business for twenty
years and who bad filled 46,000 prescriptions
without a mistake. Then he
becomes absent minded for thirty seconds
and kills off a college professor.
You may think you tilled those prescriptions
as straight as a string, but
I shouldn't oe a bit surprised if you
substituted something somewhere "
If Mr. Bowser isn't feeling in real
high spirits he will stop right there and
give the druggist a chance to get his
color back, but if be is he will kindly
offer to take a list and run around to
the various families and see if the
patients are still alive.
Mr. Bowser doesn't propose to be
laid away in his grave through the
stupidity of his family druggist. If he
is suspicious for other people he is
doubly so for himself. He invests in
consumption cure with seeming great
confidence that no afterclap will result,
but the odds are five to one that
at midnight he will rout the druggist
out of his first sleep and hold that bottle
under his nose and say:
"I took a dose according to directions.
and I'll be hanged if I don't
think there's some mistake about it
Are you positive that nothing foreign
could have got into the bottle?"
Mr. Bowser will buy 5 cents' worth
of bicarbonate of soda to take home
and dissolve for his heartburn, and the
druggist has no feeling of fear as he
watches him go. It may be one hour
or two before the patient comes burst:
ing into the store, bareheaded and his
eyes bulging out, to-exclaim:
"By thunder, but I'm feeling queer!
I saw you put up that bicarbonate and
was sure there was no mistake about
It, but it seems to affect me in a strange
mux?i ' ' .1 ih ,tn. titfft
'M FEELING QUEER!"
way. Could you have mixed anything
deaf'y with it as we were watching
the ambulance go by? If you have
made a mistake after- all I have cautioned
you it will be mighty costly for
you. I won't let up till I have your
last dollar!"
One or two of the druggists who have
done business in Mr. Bowser's neighborhood
have lain down and died, while
others have sold out and never stopped
till they got 100 miles away. It's a
good business corner and one likely to
be always occupied, but no man of
drugs will ever be happy there. Mr.
Bowser owns his own house and likes
the neighborhood and couldn't be induced
to sell out. It is just possible
that he may bo run over by a street
car or break his neck trying to ride a
bicycle, but all the odds are against it.
lie has got a good thing, and he knows
it. and he is going to keep right on
making life miserable for his family
druggist until he either dies of old age
or the soda fountain explodes some
day and blows him across the street in
hunks and chunks. M. QUAD.
His Experience.
"Here's a conundrum for you," said
the funny man. "What's the difference
between a man and his family?"
"It's invariably a difference of opinion."
replied Ilenpeck. ? Philadelphia
Ledger.
THE SIMM'S CHEST
Is well expanded. He uses his lungs to
their fullest capacity. People in ordinary
do not use much over half their lung
power. The unused lung surface becomes
inert, and offers a prepared ground
for the attack of the germs of consumption.
There is no need to warn people
PHMiB of the danger of
feSS consumption, but
warning is con|pfi
stantly needed not
to neglect the first
hH symptoms of di&Dr.
Pierce's pohlfra
fiml a'fatal termi|||
nation in con sump
ing seemed to help :ne
till I commenced using Dr. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery. After using ten bottles and
four vials of his ' Pleasant Pel'.its.' I commenced
to improve. My case seemed to be almost a
hopeless one. Doctor* pronounced it ulcer of
the lungs. I was sick nearly two years?part of
the time bedfast "Was given up to die dv all.
I thought it would be impossible for me to live
over night at one time. I naven't spit any blood
now for more than twelve months, and worked
on the farm all lost summer. It waa Dr.
Pierce's medicines that cured me." f.
Accept no substitute for * Goklen Medical
Discovery." There is nothing "just
as good" for diseases of tJie stomach.
The "Medical Adviser," in paper covers,
is sent free on receipt of 21 one-cent
stamps to pay for mailing only. Addre*
Dr. x. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
Always Posted.
Wolfe?I suppose you keep a watch
on the stock quotations to see which
are going up and which are coming
down?
Lambe?No; I don't have to. The ones
I have always go down, and the ones
I don't have invariably go up.?Boston
Transcript
Straight Up.
"Jiminy! Didn't it make you feel like
30' cents when the footpads stopped
you?"
"Well, I guess. And I must have
looked like 12 o'clock."
"How do you mean?"
"Hands up."?Philadelphia Press.
One or the Other.
"Gee whiz." exclaimed the nervy caller,
"I haven't another match, and my
cigaratte has gone out."
"Well," replied the polite young woman
who could stand it no longer, "you
would have had to if it hadn't."?Catholic
Standard and Times.
Nice and Enconrajflns.
"Would you marry a Chinaman?" he
asked.
"Oh, dear." the girl who is sarcastic
replied, "this is so sudden! But I always
supposed you merely looked like
one."?Chicago Record-Herald.
Those Girls.
Kell?Yes, we're engaged, but I took
my time about accepting him.
Belle?Indeed? Waited until he actually
proposed, did you? ? Philadelphia
Public Ledger.
Servants.
First Housewife?Some days I undo
about everything the servant does
Second Housewife?Gracious!- How
do you dare??Detroit Free Press.
Septemhnh.
On the Chesapeake, remember.
Where the bivalve has his cloister,
There the R that's in September
Is as silent as the oyster.
?Chicago Tribune.
Cause of Lockjaw.
Lockjaw, or tetanus, is caused by
a bacillus or germ which exists plentifully
in street dirt. It is inactive so
long as exposed to the air, but when
carried beneatn the skin as in the
wounda caused by percuasion caps
or by rusty nails, and when the air
is excluded the germ is roused to
activity and produces the most virulent
poison known These germs mav
be destroyed and all danger of lockjaw
avoided by applying Chamberlain's
Pain Balm freelv as soon as the
injury is received. Pain Balm is an
antisep'ic and causes cuts, bruises
and like injuries to heal without maturation
and in 0De third the time reqa
r d by the umal treatment. It is
for sale bv The Kaufmann Drug Co.
Reaasarlng.
' c <sr I
"Don't be seared, Mr. Itird. I ain't
goin* to shoot you. I only shoot lions
an' tigers an' things like that.**?Philadelphia
Lodger.
A KemSnder.
Ethei Summergirl?And won't you
forget me alter you get back to New
York?
C'liolly IVnshover?Not readily. I've
drawn iny salary two months in adranee,
and I won't be liable to forget
where it went to.--Judge.
TALES THAT DADDY TELLS.
When night gits round an' supper's ate,
Dad lights his pipe for smoktn'
An' gits th' newspaper an' sez
To me. a kinder jokJn',
"Now, Bul>, I'll take yer wool off 'less
You hurry up those slippers."
(He knows he couldn't 'cause it's took
A'ready with th' clippers.)
An' then he sets an' smokes an' reads.
An' mother sets a-sewin'
A-makin' clo'es for sister?s'prise
You how that kid is growin'!
An" I jes' sorter wait aroun".
A-hopin' dad's most through it.
'Cause then he'll tell me 'bout th' tale
'T's got a giant to it.
"They ain't no news but polytiks,"
Bimeby dad s?-z, a-yawnin",
"An' John Smith's paintin' of his fence,
An" Green's put up an awnin'."
So then I climb up on his knee.
An' he sez. "You young urchin."
An' rubs his whiskers 'gainst my face
An' thinks I need a bircliin*.
"But. waal," ho sez. "onct on a tim$
Was Jack th' Giant Killer"?
An' tells about th' dredfllest things,
'T jes' plumb skeer a fellow.
An' how Jack sworded off their heads,
An' all th' blood 'twas makin',
An', Jim'nv Gee. when bedtime comes,
I sneak upstairs Jes' shakin'!
?Truman Robert Andrews In Leslie's
Monthly.
Oil the Defensive.
Doctor?Your case is so complicated
that I think I ought, to call a couple of
other physicians in consultation.
Patient?Indeed? In that case, doctor,
I think I ought to have my attor
ney present to represent my interests.
A Cure for Dyspepsia.
I had Dyspepsia in its worst form
and felt miserable most all the time.
Did nnt, enjoy eafciDg until after I
used Kodol Dyepepeia Cure which
has completely cured me.?Mrs. W.
W. Saylor, Hilliard, Pa. No appetite,
loss cf "strength, nervousness,
headache, constipation, bad breath,
sour rieiDgs, indigestion, dyspepsia
and all stomach troubles are quickly
cured by the use of Kodol. Kodol
represents the natural juices "of digestion
combined with the greatest
known toDic and reconstructive properties.
It cleanses, purifies and
nweetens the stomach. Sold by all
druggists.
A Tlarht Fit.
An Englishman entered a tailor shop
In Twenty-third street the other day
and, throwing a package on the counter,
said:
"These trousers are a beastly fit.
You'll have to fix 'em. They're tighter
than my skin, don't you know."
"But that's impossible! How could
they be?" demurred the tailor.
"Well. I can sit down in ray skin, but
I cawn't sit down when in those blooming
breeches!" was the wrathful answer.?New
York Press.
Didn't Worry Her.
"Doesn't it make you angry when
folks twit yon about your failure to
acquire a husband?" asked the girl
who was doiusr her first season.
"Not me," replied the philosophical
spinster. "It is better to be laughed
at because you are not married than
not to be able to laugh because you
are."?Brooklyn Eagle.
BnsineH*.
I
"I see you have chicken for dinner."
"Yessuli," said Mr. Erastus Pinkley.
"I hope you bought the chicken."
"Well, no; but de transaction were
strictly regular. Dat chicken has been
roostin' 011 my fence foh months wifout
payin' mi fill),' an' I reckoned it
were 'bout time to fohclose."?Wash*
Ington Star.
Anxlotm to Anal*t.
Doctor?It may be, madam, that there
Is something wrong with your vocal
cords. I willHusband
of Mrs. Yick-Senn (hastily
interrupting)?You will find nothing the
matter there, doctor. I ain almost sure
the trouble is with her liver.?Chicago
Tribune.
Serloas, Indeed.
"Miss Summergal must be quite seriously
ill. She hasn't any appetite at
all."
"Oh. a girl isn't always ill when she
has 110 appetite!"
I "But she lias no appetite even for ice
cream and candy."?Philadelphia Press.
For Over Sisty Years.
vrr- 1 1 4 1 !_ . O
Mrs. YV1Q810W a ocotning oyrup |
has been in use for over sixty years j
by millions of mothers for their children
while teething, with perfect
success. It soothes the child, softens
the gums, allays, all pain, cures wind
colic, and is the best remedy for
7 *
Diarrhoea. It will relieve tne poor j
little sufferer immediately. Sold byDruggist
in tvery part of the world.
Twenty-five cents a bottle. Be sure
to ask for Mrs. "Wiuslow's Soothing
Syrup," and take no other kind, tf
Conscience is the reflector of the
liv.r.
ITHACA SUNS, PASSER SUNS,
GUNS, WINCHESTER REPEATING SHOT GUNS.
All kinds of Rifles and Air Guns, Shells loaded with the best black end smokeless Powders.
Our $5 Single Earrei Guns, 12 guige are the best out. They are boted for long
distance shooting Hunting Coats. Cap?. Leggings, Shell Belts. Powder, Shot.
"Wads, Caps, Cutlery, Phonographs ancl Records. Gun and Locksmith.
ZfcTOTICE.
We give a chance on an $850.00 Automobile with each caoh 50 cents purchase. Ask
for them.
W, F. STIEGLITZ, PROPRIETOR.
I 508 MAIN STREET. COLUMBIA, S. C.
ONE CAR LOAD MITCHELL,
ONE CAR LOAD VIRGINIA,
ONE CAR LOAD THOMHILL
WAGONS,
just arrived. We can make you ,
attractive prices. Any size wagon ,
wanted in stock.
Come in and see us when in the
city.
T. B. MGHTR1 & CO.,
Columbia, S. C.
83 i I
WATCH THIS SPACE 1
I3? FOR YOUR BARGAINS IN ??&
?8 ^ S3
I Fallaad WinterDry Qoods 1
m v > m
i M gg
NOTIONS, CLOTHING-,
S3 S3
?s
95 SHHOES HATS, ?5
se ss
?? Our Buyer is now in the Northern jjg
?11 YOURS FOR BARGAINS THAT WILL f|I
gg SURPISE YOU. gg
m gg
I THE IV. F. i I Rill K (0. | ;
53
?9 >
gg 103S-1C40 MAIX STREET, gg
il COLTT1.TBI A, S. C. Ss
IB S3
M
gg ?S ?
IF YOU WANT ANY J03 PRINTING CONE
give us an order.
The Dispatch Job Printing Office.
t