Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

Bobuser _ He Resolves to Settle All 1 hoppers and a 1 / TCopyrisrht. 1903. by C. B. Lewis.] THERE was a look of dignity and importance on Mr. Bowser's face as lie reached home the other evening, but before Mrs. Bowser had had time to question him he somewhat patronizingly observed: I "I'd lil? dinner right away, as I shall be out this evening in the interests of science." "You are not going to sit out in the yard all night to see how much the sunflowers grow, are you?" she asked. "When I propose to make a fool of myself I will send you a postal card!" "Then what is it?" He was huffed and refused to answer until after dinner. Then, as he was getting ready to go out, he said: "It may be close upon midnight before I return, and you needn't sit up. I shall go out into the country for at least two miles, and shall pass an hour or two in some meadow." "But what is it all about?" she asked. "If I hurt your feelings in speaking about the sunflowers I beg your pardon." "Well, a dispute has arisen between naturalists over the grasshopper. One faction contends that he does not sleep at night, the other that he is a sound sleeper. One faction contends that his long hind legs are merely for ornament, the other that they are used to jump with. I have been asked by our club to investigate and report on the matter." "Are you sure that it is not a joke of some kind?" "Joke.? Joke? who wouiu anemju to joke with me on such a subject?" "But we all know that every living thing must sleep, and as for the grasshopper's hind legs, of course he uses them to jump with." "My dear woman, you are taking the same ground as one faction does and ' proving that the matter ought to be settled without delay. I go out unprejudiced. I go to investigate and report." "Well, I hope you won't come home mad at me," she sighed. "What nonsense!" he exclaimed. "What have you got to do with a grasshopper's hind legs? Why should I come home mad at you? Don't talk like a schoolgirl. By this time tomorrow the world will know the grasshopper as he is, and the name of Bowser c-rvnlran in OVOrV lflTHniflCO Will UC V ? W n 0 known to man. I'm off to investigate." Mrs. Bowser and the cat watched him from the front door until he was lost in the darkness of evening, and then both sighed and turned away. She went in to pick up a book and become interested, and the cat found bcr way to the back yard to engage in three cr four scraps and come out victor every time. Mr. Bowser might have heard ' < . > i ? ^ \ ' i < THEY ROLLED HIM OVER AXE THE something about grasshoppers at the corner drug store or the family butcb er's, but he decided to go to the fountain head, the country pasture. : He must have looked like a man with ? m<cuv?,n !,< > h?til lvirdlv 1 ><>:! rdfwl the car vrhen a fellow passenger moved nearer to him and inquired: "Hare you got anything very tremendous on your mind, neighbor?" "What do you mean, sir?" stithy demanded Mr. Bowser. "Why, you look to me as if you were goin' somewhere to buy a new milk cow or to tear up an acre or two of ground." "You mind yonr business, sir!" "Oh. I'll mind my business all right and I'll keep an eye on you at the same time. Now that I look at you a little closer, I'll be hanged if I don't think you are an anarchist. If you are, don't hang around my farm long. 1 expect you've got a bomb in your pocket, but you can't sheer me." Mr. Bowser changed seats to be rid of the man. and at the end of the route he let hin get a good start before he * * i.-i.: 3 i :? j 4 took to uie mguway uuuuiu mm. h was a bright moonlight night, and a grasshopper could be seen as well as by noondaj*. After going half a mils the fence was climbed and the discoverer was ready to begin investigations It did not take him long as he crepl about on hands and knees to discovei a grasshopper under a stalk of clover and after five minutes of peering aboul the following entry was made in his memorandum book: "It is a settled fact that the grasshopper sleeps, but at the same time Ik ?14* ?5 the Discussion About Gr&ssrrip to the Country & J* I upens ono eye at intervals, as if watch lug out for enemies. I am now about to poke liira up in order to get a line on his hind legs. "Mem. Xo. l\ I have poked. As I poked lie jumped, and as he jumped it seemed to me that lie only made use of his right hind leg. If tiiis be so then a three logged grasshopper would answer every purpose. I shall investigate further. "Mem. Xo. 3. Have found another hopper, and lie seems to be wide awake. It may be that my approach aroused him. Later on he will be poked. "Mem. Xo. 4. I poked and he jumped. I am not at all satisfied with what I saw. lie seemed only to use liis front legs to jump and to use his hind ones to kick out with after he was in the air. It may lie that his hind feet are ! his defense, same as a mule's. It is a ; question never discussed before, and : the honor oI solving it will belong to I me. "Mem. Xo. 5. I have cornered an old socker of a hopper under a burdock leaf, and it is my opinion that he is sound asleep. I hare tickled him with a straw and he has humped his back as if having an attack of nightmare. I am going to give him a sudden jab and keep my eyes on Ids hind legs. One of the most important questions in natural science is on the point of being solved. "Mem. Xo. 6. I poked and"? And that was all. The farmer who had taken him for an anarchist had kept an eye on him, as he said he would, and after seeing him climb the fence had hurried on and got his sons, Jim and Bill, to go back with him. Thev found Mr. Bowser lying in the meadow 011 his stomach, and the first tiling he knew of their presence they had laid hands on him and were walloping hiin about with uncalled for energy. He tried to explain, but the I farmer interrupted him with: "Go in. Jim; go for him. Bill! Durn , his hide, but we'll give him all the ! bomb bizness he wants before he is j through with usl" ! "You fools, my name is Bowser!" "he shouted. i "I don't keer whether it's Bowser or i Towser," shouted the farmer in return. "but I know j'ou won't burn any barns for me!" Mr. Bowser fought back, but three to one is big odds. They ripped the collar off his coat, tore all the buttons off his vest and rolled him over and over and threw him orer the feuee, and when lie had gathered himself up he looked like a tramp who had been carried across the country by a cyclone. The three men sat 011 the fence and watched until he had limped out of sight, and they only jeered when he v >. ? OVER AND THREW HIM OVER FENCE. threatened to sue for $1,000,000 damages. It was striking midnight and Mrs. Bowser was still reading when the fpont door was unlocked and Mr. Bowi dor entered. "Is that you. dear?" she called. | "Yes, it is me, dear." he replied as be 8TOCX1 ueiore uer, anu i ve got a lew words to say to you!" "You've been run over or something?" "I have." "You didn't find out about the grasshoppers?" i "I didn't." "And it's all my fault?" "It is!" "And your lawyer will see my law| yer. and you'll send me home to mother by the evening train tomorrow?" "I will!" he answered as he kicked at the cat and turned away to go upstairs and make repairs and go to bed. Mrs. Bowser followed him after awhile to find him in bed and fitfully I sleeping. His nose had been skinned. , his face scratched and his ear hurt, [ and his chin seemed to be all on one side. [ "Does a grasshopper 9leep at night?" "Bv thunder, but I can lick the nhree > * r\f vnn rollm! trvefhrr'" In* f?Y<?lniim?il as he put up liis fists in his sleep. "And about a hopper's hind legs?'' , she asked. . "Yes, my name's Bowser, and if I don't make you fellers sweat for this ' I'm a goat!" j "Poor Bowser!" she sighed as she bent down and kissed the scratch on his nose and then turned out the lights , M. QUAD. I IS STRONGER? | THAN ITS Iwf.akt.st} LINK ft | ? ji ll^TRolfSI i than his 0 1 stomach l d* pierces a v r.m tsitiv t I ^ JU A^A J. * c& fMEDICALV fi DISCOVERY 0 AMAKES WEAKjJ f 5TOMACH5 I 05 NGJ Just Trying Her Luck. A youDg woman whose Bupereitition formerly led her to make a collection of picked up horseshoes, which she wrapped in ribbons and hung at the foot of her couch, over her cbeval mirror and upon the walle of her bed-chamber, has discarded them all and put in their places sections of burst or worn out tires from the automobiles of her friends. "So far," she said, "I have not noticed any change in my luck, but I don't expect much until I get my thirteenth section of burst tire. I hope to reach that number before the beginning of next 'year, which is as you know, divisible by four." Cheap Bates Via the Southern Railway to Columbia on Acoouut State A. and M. Fair. On account of above occasion the Southern Railway will sell tickets from all points in the State of South Carolina to Columbia, S. C., and return at the rate of one first class fare plus 75 cents. which includes one ad mission to the fair grounds. Tickets on sale daily October 2429 inclusive, and for trains scheduled to arrive in Columbia prior to noon of October 30th, limited to return until November 2od, 1903. For full information, schedules, etc., apply to any local agent of the company or R. W. Hunt, Division Passenger AgeDt, Charleston, S. C Cause of Lcckjaur. Lockjaw, or tetanus, is caused by a bacillus or germ which exists plentifully in street dirt. It is inactive so long as exposed to the air, but when carried beneath the skin as in the wounds caused by percussion caps or by rusty nails, and when the air is excluded the germ is roused to activity and produces the most virulent poison known. These germs may be destroyed and all danger of lockjaw avoided by applying Chamberlain's Pain Balm freely as soon as tt e injury is received. Pain Balm is an antieeptic and causes cuts, bruises and like injuries to heal without maturation and in one third the time required by the usual treatment. It is for sale by The Kaufmann Drug Co. ?- -- So They Both Shook Him. D&ikway?"Did you make love to any girls at the short?" Cieverton?"Yes One from Boston and one from New Orleans." "How was it?" "Did you ever have chills and I fever?"?Smart set. A Love Letter Would not interest you if you're looking for a guaranteed Salve for sores, burns or piles. Otto Dodd, of Ponder, Mo., writes: "I miIt r?n nr? 1T7 onro fnr a roar fcj Uii-til CU WILLI au ugijf uu? ^ u j v?? j but a box of Bucklen's Arnica Salve cnred me. Its the best Salve on earth. 25c., at the Kaufmann Drug Company. foleyshoney^tar for children! safe, ourm* No opiatmo pgihes boilers. TmIi Stack*, Stand Pipes and Sheet-Iroai Work; Skaftln*. PcJlejB, bearing, Stole*, Bang are, eta. Mkli Cutun. nr*Cast ererr 4*75 work 2w kaafe. MUBAKD IRON WORKS A SUFFLT 09 UQU3TJL, MOBOLL. January 57? 1? | Thousands Saved By i en. sir hew mi This wonaortul medicine posi-g lively cures Consumption, Coughs 1 [Colds, Bronchitis, Asthma, Pneu-jS monia, Hay Fever, Pleurisy, La-S b Grippe, Hoarseness, Sore Throat, i I Croup and Whooping Cough. S atvery brttie guaranteed. no 3} gCure. No Pay. Price 50c.&$1.1 BTrial bottle free. h SEWING MACHINES! Wheeler & Wilson No. 9 BALL BEARING Marvelously Light Running and Noisless, (a No. 100 spool cotton thread for a belt will run it). One-third faster; one third easier than any shuttle machine. Save about ONE DAY IN THREE. A GREAT FAVORITE WITH DRESS MAKERS. AND BECOMING MORE POPULAR ALL THE TIME. XEEDLES FOB ALL lAGHIXES. REPAIRING A SPECIALTY. WORK GUARANTEED. ATTACHMENTS, SHUTTLES, ETC. In bringing Machines to be repaired it is only necessary to bring the head?Leave the table at home unless it needs repairing too. ORGANS. High Grade Farrand Organs. Before 3 on 1 buy call and see me. T. 1804 MAIN ST., COLUMBIA, S. C. April 1, 3903. 3m Alfred J. Fox, I hmhhmmmammammMM , Life and Fire I 1 ! Insurance and IReal Estate i 1 | Agent, i Lexington, S. C Only First Class Companies flepre-! sen ted. My companies are popular, stronc and reliable. No one can give your ; business better attention; no one can j give you better protection; no one can ! | give you better rates. I ] ! Prompt and careful attention given I to buying and selling Real Estate, j ' both town and country properties. . | | Correspondence respectfulypolicited. I DR. BAKER'S Jjl FEMALE I REGULATOR, rVio 'III j||| ijiHH -n new uiicuvtij ,u. in*- ,i III Prevention and Cure of l|j||J Female Diseases. It is o permonent cure for all ;jjij ft Womb, Bladder and Urinary Dis:iii|!|||!| eases and Femole Weaknesses. |:|| Leucorrhoea orWhitcs. Irregular h|| and Painful Menstruation. &c l|j| Ladies will find it of special ^j|| valueif takenwith regularity dull ring Pregnancy or the Change of Life. ** I = I -sj) Price. SI. 2 5. rKEPAKEO BY DR. W. C. BAKER, I THE LOCKOUT SOUTHS m CO., 1 BUH0F1CTCUXS mi ftOFtlFTCIX. : CREENEVILLE, TENS. ) \ ! oooooocoooooooooo Dec. 7, 1903?Stop. i i ITHACA GUNS,PARKER QUITS, SMITH GUNS, LEFEVER QUITS, WINCHESTER. REPEATING SHOT GUNS. Ali kinds of Rifles and Air Guns, Shell-: loaded with the best black and smokeless Pow- i dsrs. Our $5 Single Barrel Gelds, 12 guage are the best out. They are bced for long jjj distance shooting Hunting Coats, Cap?. Leggings, Shell Belts. Powder, Shot. ^ "Wads, Caps, Cutlery, Phonographs and Records, Gun and Locksmith. NOTICE. We give a chance on an $850.00 Automobile with each caoh 50 cents purchase. Ask for them. Ml r ftTIPftl IT1 Ml r. 0 I ICuLI 1lj iwihuuh. 1508 MAIN STREET. COLUMBIA, S. C. ONE CAE LOAD MITCHELL, ONE CAE LOAD VIEGINIA, ONE CAE LOAD THOMHILL WAGONS, just arrived. We can make you attractive prices. Any size wagon wanted in stock. Come in and see us when in the city. T. B. AUGHTRI & CO., Columbia, S. C. tasasssssasstssssssssssssi 7 cacacwwaca QWCBWWQW 1 WATCH THIS SPACE 1 m gg ca S3 FOP. YOUR BARGAINS IN I | Fall and lister Dry fools | -i g? NOTIONS, CLOTHING, gz j ?3 S3 69 SHOES -A.ETID gg ^0 Our Buyer is now in the Northern ftfl Markets. ??? MM ?7? YOURS FOR BARGAINS THAT WILL ?2 . j HH SURPISE YOU. gg J ?8 88 || THE W. F. FIRTICh CO. ? i fVI SSJS i ! S3 69 1 j mS 1038-1G40 MAIN STREET, IK 69 sa ss 1 I SJE3 TT "TN /r T C2< r-4 WW \SHm WWJ-1 w ,w. W. gyi ?S Ss ' Si Si I fiS 88 i SiSiSiSiSiSiiiSiSiSiSiSiS ^ a i