The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, August 12, 1903, Page 2, Image 2
BOWSER'S^
^ He Tries a.n Experimem
History, and Succeeds [Copyright.
hi" C. B. Lewis.]
MR. BO\Y?Sk-u bad been home
for a couple of hours and ,
eaten his dinner and smoked
his cigar without bringing
forward anything to startle Mrs. Bowser
when the basement beli rang, and
the cook brought up a covered basket
left by a boy.
"You surely haven't been getting another
cat or rabbit?" queried Mrs. Bow-% j
ser as she turned a shade paler.
"Well, hardly," he replied. "Before ,
showing you the contents of tkis basket
I wish to talk with you a minute. You I
know I belong to a natural history
club?"
"Yes, I know, and you went out into |
"I HAVE HERE A LOBSTER."
the country once to see if cows slept
standing up." I
."What? What's that? I never did j
such a thing, and you know it!"
"Then it was to see if possums went j
to sleep with-their tails curled over a j
limb. I know you were gone all night j
and came home all tired out."
"Never, woman, never! Do you take
me for a born fool? I was going to tell
you what I had in the basket and explain
an experiment I was going to
, make in ^ehalf of natural history, but
now I':* oe hanged if I do! If I had
your disposition I'd go and hang myself!"
Mrs. Bowser apologized. It must
have been some other man who went
out to see about cows and possums? !
some Yale or Harvard professor. She :
didn't mean- to be sarcastic or imperti- !
nent, and if he would forgive her and
go ahead he should have no further
cause to complain. It took several min- j
.utes for the red to die out of his face \
and his feelings to become placid, and
then he opened the basket and pointed ;
to a large live lobster. It had been procured
from a fish market and vras rest
ing on a bed of wet seaweed.
"Is?is it for breakfast?" she asked.
"Of course not. It is to experiment 1
on, and I shall write a paper to be read
THREE TIMES DID THE
before the club. I hope to settle a |
rouch disputed question within the
next hour. Several years ago a French
naturalist announced that the lobster
was susceptible to music and that he
had attracted thein to the shore in
large numbers by playing on the mouth
organ. He was at once ridiculed and
hooted at, but I have been appointed a
committee of one by my own club to
investigate and report. I have here a
lobster; I also have a mouth organ."
"And you will play the mouth organ
while the lobster dances?"
Mr. Bowser's ears twitched and flis
neck reddened up, but he swallowed
the lump in his throat and replied:
"I shall play the mouth organ and
observe what effect it has on the specimen
before us. You and the blamed
old cat will please keep quiet for a minute.
I will begin with something sad
at first."
He lifted up the little musical instrument
and began the air of "The Old
Oaken Bucket." As he reached the refrain
the lob9tor moved one claw, but
orhothur fvnin srricf or 1oV COUl?l not be
told. The air was then changed to the
"Swnnee River," and the lobster reached
out the other claw and rattled it
against the basket.
"By Jove, but the Frenchman was
right!" exclaimed Mr. Bowser ae he
cut the music short. "You saw the lobster
move both elaws, didn't you? He's
D|SCOVERV
t In Behalf of Natural
? So He Imagines J*
pot a soul for music, and don't you forget
H.;. I'll try him with something in
| the jig line."
He struck uu the air of "Buffalo
! Gals'' and patted time with his foot,
and in half a minute the lobster not
only clawed out. but humped his back
j and gritted his teeth. With a smile of
j triumph on his face Mr. Bowser changed
j off to "Black Eyed Susan" and thence
I to "Come Along, Moses," and the lob!
ster fastened his claws into the basket
and stood upright and quivered all over
as if longing to get out and hoe it down.
"Well, there's the experiment, and
what do you think of it?" asked the investigator
as he ceased to blow.
| "The lobster seems to have beard K,"
| replied Mrs. Bowser,
j "Heard it! Of course he heard It.
! Nothing else caused him to act that
way. If I was to put him out on the
grasg I believe I could draw him clear
to the alley by playing long enough. I
tell you that Frenchman was right, and
| I'm going to back him up for keeps. I
j don't know whether lobsters can love
I or not, but I'll give him something to
make his heart boat faster."
It was "I've Lost My Nancy Lee,"
j and there were tears in the eyes of the
! player as he puffed out his cheeks. The
i Inhster humned and wabbled about as
1 if trying to resist the influence of love,
I but lie gave in at Inst and clawed his
way to the edge of the basket and fell
with a thud 011 the floor.
"It fetched him; it fetched him!"
shouted Mr. Bowser as he danced
around. "Hereafter there will be no
use for lobster pots. All one will have
to do will be to stand 011 the beach and
I blow a love air on a mouth oi'gan, and
! the lobster, will tumble over each other
in their hurry to get ashore."
j "Do you think it wns the music?"
asked Mrs. Bowser in doubtful tones.
"Of course it was. What else could
it have been?"
"I have heard that fish were attracted
by a light at night and perhaps if s
i the same with lobsters. You might
I put him back and see if it was the
light."
"I tell you it was the music and
nothing else," flrmly replied Mr. Bowser.
"I consider the question solved
beyond cavil, and what honor there is
in the rediscovery will come to me.
You can go to bed. and I shall at once
proceed to the library and?get out
with you!"
The last words were addressed to the
family cat, whose curiosity had been
at fever heat ever since the basket
was brought in. As the lobster fell to
the floor she darted forward to make
a close inspection, and next instant her
tail was gripped by a couple of claws
and she was circling around the room.
"Durn her hide!" yelled Mr. Bowser,
as he tried to head her off.
"Stop her or*she'll break things!"
added Mrs. Bowser as she looked
around for the broom.
Three times did the cat clrde the
room, mewing and setting and wailing,
and then of a sudden she shot
through an open rear window and
CAT CIRCLE THE ROOM.
[ dropped into the yard, to be seen do
; more for three days and nights.
"Do you think eats are susceptible to
: music?" asked Mrs. Bowser as she be{
gan lifting up the chairs which had
; been upset in the row.
"None o' your business 1" bluntly rej
plied Mr. Bowser as he jumped off upS
stairs to bed. M. QUAD.
A Bereaved Htmband.
"You look as If you were In trouble,
my friend. Received bad news?"
i "Yes. Here is a telegram which tells
me that my wife drove a buggy and
team into the river this morning and
; that they were washed away and
drowned."
"Good heavens! That is bad news in!
deed!"
"Isn't it? I don't care so much for
the buggy, but that pair of horses cost
| me $350 hard cash!"?Kansas City Journal.
Proof Aboolato.
Feters?What proof did the doctors
have for declaring Brooks insane?
Farr?He refused to take their medicine.?Baltimore
American.
Which?
"Quietly, you know, Is tbe silent portI
ner."
j "At the office or at home?"?Cincinnati
Commercial Tribune, t
AT THE TOP.
It is a lettable ambition to reach the top
of the ladder of success. But many a man
who reaches the
a tor mo n t i ns to ad
any or all of these svmotoms
point to weaknessg
Dr. Pierce's Golden Med$3,000FORFBfTwillbe
pensary Medical Asso
luio, in. x., 11 in ey cannot ^ ?sh
show the original signa- g&p
ture of the individual volun- ??
teering the testimonial below,
and also of tbe writers of every
testimonial among the thousands
which they are constantly publishing,
thus proving their genuineness.
" For about two rears I suffered from a very
obstinate case of dyspepsia," writes R. E. Secord.
Esq.. of 13 Eastern Ave., Toronto, Ontario. "I
tried a great number of remedies without success.
I finally lost faith in them all. 1 was so
far gone that I coukl not for a loug ti^je bear
any solid food in my stomach ; felt melancholy
and depressed. Couki not sleep nor follow mv
occupation. Some four months ago a friend
recommended your ' Golden Medical Discovery.'
After a week's treatment I had derived so much
bene&t that I continued the medidne, I have
token three bottles and am convinced it has
in my case accomplished a permanent cure. I
con conscientiously recommend it to the thousands
of dyspeptics throughout the land."
The "Common Sense Medical Adviser,"
1008 large pages in paper covers, is aent/rf?<?
on receipt of fli one-cent stamps to pav expense
of mailing only. Addreea Dr. ft. V.
Pierce, Buiialo, N. Y.
DOCTORS' BLUNDERS.
What I-esral Methods Applied to Medical
Practice Would Uncover.
"Now that I am through with modicine
I can speak of the profession in a
fashion that I would not if 1 was still
in the practice." said a gentleman who
has been known as a successful physician
in New York for years as he sat
at luncheon in the Lawyers' club.
"Of course I don't care to have my
name mentioned, for I have Jots of good
friends in the profession, but the fact
Is that the profession of medicine would
be nearly ruined if it had to be conducted
as you gentlemen of the bar
practice your calling.
"We have a great advantage over
you. for you in your cases are subjected.
to the extremest publicity, while we
in our cases have the utmost concealment.
Just suppose that in our cases
we had a judge who knew as much as
or more than we did presiding over our
actions and, worse than that, had another
physician, whose interests were
not ours, watching and criticising us
at every step and blazoning every er- j
ror that we made. Dear me, such a
prospect as that would frighten the
best physician who ever lived the moment
he entered a sick room, and yet
that condition is just what you men
of the law have to face in every case
that you try.
"What sort of a figure would a lawyer
cut floundering around in court
without any knowledge of his case?
But a physician can flounder mentally
in a sick room without a second person
being the wiser, though the patient
may suffer; but then, 'dead men tell
no tales.'
"Under such circumstances of doubt,
which is usually ignorance, the physician
can look wise, put something into
the patient's stomach, go to his office,
decide what line of experiment he will
follow, return the next day, hoping to
find that nature is working the cure
that he doesnt know how to effect and
being ready and willing to take all of
the credit that comes his way.
"Why, the very first thing that nurses
are taught is to observe the utmost secrecy
about doctors' blunders. If they
told what.they know there wouldn't be
much confidence in physicians where
they are heard. Ask a nurse of experience
about this when you have the
opportunity.
"Yes. sir, I repeat that the publicity
and chance for criticism in your profession,
if applied to medicine, would
result in the discovery of a small
amount of science as compared with
the large amount of empiricism."?New
York Herald.
Herbino
Renders the bile more fluid aud
thus helps the blood to flow; ifc affords
prompt relief from biliousness, indigestion,
sick and nervous headaches,
and the over-indulgence in food and |
drink. Herbine acts quickly, a dose
after meals will bring the patient
into a good condition in a few days.
^ l * A m Iff TT J m I
W Jj. Uaiaweu, Age. m. j\. aDa x.
R. R, Cbecotnb, lad. Ter, writep,
April 18, 1903: "I waa aick for over I
two years with enlargement of the
liver aod tpleen. Tbe doctors did
me do good, and I bad given up all
hope of being cured, when my druggist
advised me to use Herbme. It
has made me souDd and well." 50c.
Sold by The KnufmaDD Drug Co.
Charlie?Flow In the world, Gawge,
do you manage to see with that single
eyeglass of yours?
Gawge?My dear fellah, I soe with
the other eye.?San Francisco Wasp.
The Twins.
"Faith. Mrs. O'llara, bow <T ye till
thim twins npnrrt?"
"Aw, 't is aisy?I sticks me finger In
Dlnnis' mouth, an' If he bites I know
It's Molke."?Harvard Lampoon.
Have a heart that never hardens, a
temper that never tires and a touch
that never hurts.?Charles Dickens.
FRUITS AND FLOWERS.
It never injures an orchard to manure
it.
Judicious annual pruning is essential
with the peach.
Ix)w headed trees resist the wind
better, and the fruit is more easily
picked.
In grafting a large tree it Is best not
to try to graft the whole tree in one
season.
Budding on certain slow growing and
somewhat incongruous stock is the
best way of dwarfing.
In most eases the cause of moss appearing
on the stems of apple and other
fruit trees is wet, cold, undrained
land.
The soil for roses should be rich aDd
of such tenacity that it will hold together
when pressed. Sand and clay
mixed is good.
Ail wood that is more than two years
old should be cut out from the currants
and gooseberries. They will produce
more fruit, even if the vines are not so
large.
An Economical Mother.
Small Ivatherine, who had been forbidden
to touch the ink bottle, had accidentally
spilled its contents not only
all over her mother's desk, but on the
rug, several chairs and her own apron.
Her mother, on discovering the state of
affairs, had expressed more surprise
than pleasure. When the father of the
family returned at night his little
daughter met him at the door and
asked:
"Papa, bow much does a bottle of ink
cost?"
"Oh, about 5 cents."
"Five cents!" exclaimed the aggrieved
youngster in a tone of deep disgust.
"And to think that mamma would
make all that fuss about one little bottle
of ink!"?Lippincott's.
"Are Yon Ready? Go!"
Mrs. John Peters was the mother of
a family of restless children, and she
found difficulty* in reducing them to
quiet when the moment came for asking
a blessing at the table. So her
course of procedure was something in
this fashion:
"Alice, be still! Eddie, not ahother
word! Maud, don't you see your father
is waiting? There?now, John;
now!"?New York Times.
A Rum of Luck.
Tom?I asked old Goldman for his
daughter last night.
Dick?What luek?
Tom?Well, it was what you might
call a run of luck. I got away.?Exchange.
Dysenterv Cured "Without the
Aid of a Doctor.
"I am just up from a hard spell of
the flux" (dysentery) says Mr. T. A.
PinDer, a well known merchant of
Drummond, Tenn. "I used one
Bmall bottle of Chamberlain's Colic,
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy and
was cured without having a doctor.
I consider it the bept cholera medicine
in the world." There is no
need of employing a doctor when
this remedy is used, for no doctor
can prescribe a better medicine for
bowel complaint in any form either
for children or adults. It never fails
and is pleasant to take. For sale by
The Kaufmann Drue Co.
Information Wanted.
Dollie?Oh, granny, do the heathen
savages wear trousers?
Granny?No, dear. Why?
Dollie?Well, then, what did pa go
and put a trousers button in the collecting
bag for at church today?
Wrinkles.
"How shall I get rid of my wrinkles,
Beatrice?"
"Cutting them out with a sharp knife
Is quite effective."
"Of course cutting leaves wounds,
but you can easily make people believe
you got those fighting with your husband
or in some other way that won't
hurt your standing in good society."?
Detroit Free Press.
From Experience.
Miss Doveye?We girls are just wild
about Victor Pretty.
Mrs. Binthnir?Now, I simply can't
endure him. I like strong, stern browed
men of indomitable will.
"Gracious! What for?"
"They are so easy to manage."?Life.
For Over Sizty Tears.
Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup
has been in use for over sixty years
by millions of mothers for their children
while teething, with perfect
success. It soothes the child, softens
the gums, allays all pain, cures wind
- - ? . X
colic, and is tne nest remeuy iur
Diarrhoea. It will relieve the poor
little sufferer immediately. Sold by
Druggist in every part of the world.
Twenty-five cents a bottle. Be sure
to ask for Mrs. "Winslow's Soothing
Syrup," and take no other kind, tf {
DO YOU GET UP
WITH A LAME BACK ?
Kidney Trouble Makes You Miserable.
Almost everybody who reads the newspapers
is sure to know of the wonderful ^
H ( !. cures made by Dr. t
'?i> Kilmer's Swamp-Root,
8 1 great-kidney, liver r
S J li anc^ bladder remedy.
"T 5 (KV jLs ^istbe great medi..
|j( V cal triumph of the nine\
yi \ lliir teenth century; dis
!PI1 covered after years of
/ > J LII~ IM scientific research by
n ^r* Kilmer. the emi[|_
" nent kidney and blad?
<jer specialist, and is
wonderfully successful in promptly curing
lame back, kidney, bladder, uric acid troubles
and Bright's Disease, which is the worst
form of kidney trouble.
Dr. Mimer s swamp-KOOi: is not rec- I
ommended for everything but if you have kidney,
liver cr bladder trouble it will be found
just the remedy you need. It has been tested
in so many ways, in hospital work, in private
practice, among the helpless too poor to purchase
relief and has proved so successful in
every case that a special arrangement h3s
been made by which all readers of this paper
who have not already tried it, may have a
sample bottle sent free by mail, also a bock
telling more about Swamp-Root and how to
find out if you have kidney or bladder trouble.
When writing mention reading this generous
offer in this paper and
send your address to
Dr. Kilmer &. Co..Bing
hamton, N. Y. The
regular fifty cent and Home of Swamp-Root,
dollar sizes are sold by all good druggists.
Albert M. Boozer,
Attorney at Law,
COLUMBIA, 83. C.
Especial attention given to business entrusted
to him by his fellow citizens 01
Lexington county.
Office: 1316 Mam Street, upstairs, oppo- si
e Van M-tre's Furniture btore ,
February 28?tf.
a Wk TWO HUNDRED
Staff til Sal % 9b ? I young men and
If All 3 cai^^M
tions. If you are Interested, write us for
our handsome illustrated catalog,
IHE LANIER SOUTHERN BUSINESS COLLEGE j
MACON, GA.
November 19, 1902?ly. ?
i
Parlor Restaurant ?
1336 main stkeet.
COLUMBIA, - S. C.,
The only up-to-date eating .
House ol its kind in the City of Colombia.
It is well kept?clean linen, i
prompt and polite service and get it quickly. !
Quiet and order always prevail. You get
what you o/der and pay only for what you
get. Within easy reach of desirable sleeping
apartments.
OPEN ALL IVIOHLT.
B. DAVID, Proprietor.
SSSSSSSSSSSseS
S8
EB
1 The In, F. f
S3
CO I 638-1 640 MAIN ST.
es
jgg OFFEKS THE FC
Best China Matting, the 35 cents k
Nice Brown Sheeting, the 7 cents 1
Jjfex 3,0C0 yards Cottonades, the 15 anc
S Largest Malaga Hats, the 20 cents
Men's two-piece Fine All Wool Sui
100 esses Shoes just in at 10c.. loe.
oave about 300 Ladies and Gentleme
and $4.00 kind, in extra small and e:
will sell for $1.99 the pair.
gim 10 gross Men"s Coat Collar Spring
^ ff e 50 gross Fine Satety Pin3, at 1 cei
300 Ladies, $1.50. $1,25 and $1.00
S3 liRIIRUK op fi
A A v a v>
S3 FOR
S3
S3 COME TO SEE US A
gt?| ADVERTISE ME X
G9
53
Q
Very Sincerely,
8 TM IV. F. Fl
S3
S3
53535353535353
BEESWAX WANTED
:n large or small quantities
WE WILL PAY THE HIGHEST MARket
price for clean and pure Beess-as.
Price governed by color and condiiOD.
ft
rilJE BAZAAR.
LEXINGTON, S. CFRCIT
TREES
That Grow and Bear Frail,
Write fo r our fio rage il- r
lustrate-1 Catalogue ami 40
fage pam phl^t. "How to
iant and Cultivate an Orchard,"
G ives you that in
tor mat io n you nave so long
wanted; tells you all about
those big red apples, lueious .
peaches, and Japan plums c
with their oriental sweetness,
all of whi ch you have often
wondered where the trees
earae fro m that produced
them.
EVERYTHING GOOD IN
FRUITS.
Unusal fine stock of SILVER
MAPLES,young, thrifty trees
smooth and straight, the kind
that live and grow off well,
No old, rough trees. This is 1
the most rapid growing maple
and one of the most beautiful
shade trees.
Write for prices and give
list of wants.
J. Van Lindley Nursery Co..
Pomona, N 0.
PARKERS 1
fSSllli^ HAIR BALSAM
Cleamet ud beautiflea the hair. J
i MB Promotei a luxuriant growth. 1
Fuils to Bestore Gray!
[Eff&oT. -rSSm Hair to ita Youthful Color. I
Cure* ccaip diseases k hair ialhrg. I
60c.andSl.Wttt Druypiata I
iiiylSI
Will Practice in all Courts,
KAUFMANN BUILDING,
LEXINGTON, S C
On the 18th day of October, we formed
i co-partnership for the practice of law.
iVe will be pleased to receive those having
Un oi n *-_o t r\ ha a A tr? at fin r r>f.
ego. 1 ^ ??
ico in the Kaulmann building at any time.
Respecttally.
J. Wm THUBMOND,
G. BELL TIMMEBMAN,
October 22, 1902. ?ly.
Dr. Wooliey's SSS. ?
qaimi rec opium, laudanum,
PAI11 eflxlr of 0?iurn, CO.
PI 2 8 B MB caine or -whiskey, a
&J 1 a 1 HUHlar^ b??k of Parw
vr 111 BWff ticulars oi. home or
I 8JB 119 sanatorium treat'
ment. Address, B
AND M. WOOLLEY CO.
Whiskey Cure
_____________________ m
635953535959
QQ69C8QfiO
iirtii ft., I
, COLUMBIA,S-C. ??
88
ca
)LLOWING: jgK
ind. at 18J cents. ^^3
bind, at 5 cents,
I 20 cents kind, at 10 cents.
kind, tor 10 cents.
its, $3.75, $5 00 and SG.50.
, 25c., 49c , 98c. and op. We
n's Very Fine Shoes, the $3.50
itra large sizes only, that we aa
;s. at 1 cent each. 011%
it the dozen.
1 Corsets, at 73 cents while ClS
00D BARGAINS ? '
OU. 6* j
VT> T)nTVn TtTTC
JLJ JL JJLJLO JJTT
T WITH YOU. M
I HIKK CO. I
eseseseseaea
69C8C969G9G9 -.