The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, August 05, 1903, Page 2, Image 2
Little Maud *&l)anted
^/i Chance Uoo
Maud and Marjory worried the life
out of their mother by running away.
At least once a week she would alarm
the neighbors, and a hunt would be
started to find the runaways. Usually
they had not gone far, but their mother
was very much frightened every time
she missed rh^ Mrr> midgets. She determined
to briv.i of this trick.
Calling them to 5c r r-om one day, she
said: "Now, I haw never whipped my
little daughters, but if they run away
again both of them are going to receive
a smart whipping. Now, remember
*' ' 4-1-\
that tne next time you are touiyicu ?.u
leave the yard."
The two little sisters looked very
grave and promised never to run away
again. But a few days after they forgot
all about their mother's injunction
and raced out of the yard and far down
the street Their mother found them
talking to a big colored man and grimly
brought them home. Then she took
them into the house, gave them the
switching promised and sat them down
hard in two little chairs in the nursery.
Maud's screams were terrific, and as
her mother heard them from the library
downstairs she said to herself,
"Well, I guess the punishment has
made an impression on those children,
and they won't run away again."
Just then there was a momentary
lull in Maud's yelling, and her mother
heard Margery sob out: "Now, Maud,
you just stop crying a minute. I want j
to have 'em hear me cry!"?New York
Times.
That Time Is Past.
"A poor man," remarked Weary
Wraggles from the northeast corner of
the haystack, "ain't got er chancet even
to gether der crums from de rich man's
table nowadays."
"Dat he ain't" replied Tired Tatters
cheerfully, "fer most of der rich men
has got such bad digestions dat dey
don't eat nuttin' but milk an' eggs."?
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
, Enapppreciative. '
"My singing teacher says I must
practice three hours a day."
"Yes, but she didn't say you were to
practice on me, did she?"? Chicago
American.
The Gloating.
Bonney?Come, now, be frank! What
is there at the beach that is so delightful?
Feldby?Oh, there's nothing there
that's delightful. The delight comes
when you run up to town and tell the
can't-get-aways what splendid times
you're having down by the sea.?Boston
Transcript.
Unconsciousness.
"But is there such a thing as an unconsciously
pretty girl?"
"Certainly. When a pretty girl
knows everybody knows she's pretty,
of course she's unconscious. Why
shouldn't she be. pray?"?Detroit Free
Press.
Wot Popular.
Miss Prim?No, I never dance. When
a man asks a girl to walU with him
it's just the same as if he were to ask
her, "May I hug you?'
Miss Pert?Oh. yes! And so they
never ask you to dance.?Philadelphia
Press.
Wot That Way.
"They say." he remarked, "that grip
n ho eor??rht hvr IrVswlnir"
"That can't be the only way, though,"
x she answered. "Mother had it last
week, and now father's down with it."
?Chicago Beeord-Herald.
Ccverlea* Carta.
Dubbs?Chubbs turned prematurely
gray the other morning.
Tubbs?Why. how did it happen?
Dubbs?They were collecting ashes In
his block.?New York Herald.
Sure Thing:.
Hobo Charley ? Say, loidy, If dat
dawg bites me he dies. See?
Lady?I believe you. I don't see how
he could ever recover from it?Baltimore
American.
Self Interest.
"So you want to see the government
owning everything?"
"I do," answered Mr. Sirius Barker.
rvovinor fo YOC " Wp qh.
JL ill lllt'U Vi. vmmvw* ?>
ington Star.
Kept His Word.
She?You promised to stop smoking
when we were married.
He?Well, they won't allow you to
smoke in church.?Brooklyn Life.
Fluent.
"Bixby's wife can converse in five
languages."
"Yes. and can't keep still in any one
of them."?Judge.
Disqualified.
"Why, what's the matter, Bridget?"
"Your husband says, ma'am, my
cooking reminds him too much of
yours."?Life.
JOHN O'GROAT'S HOUSE.
A Pnmonn Domicile That Was Lone
a Landmark In Britain.
In the reign of James IV. of Sootland
John O'Grout and his two brothers,
Malcolm and Gavin, arrived at
Caithness and bought the lands of
Warse and Dugisby, near the beach at
the mouth of Peniand firth, the northeastern
extremity of the mainland of
Scotland. In time their families increase
i until there were eight houselioivls
of the same name. They lived as
neighbors in the greatest peace and amity,
each year holding a festival in the
original house. At one of these annual
gatherings the question of precedence
arose among the younger members,
aDd tliey disputed as to whom should
sit nearest the "head of the table" or
enter the room first.
The old grandfather, Johnny O'Groat
of history, was made arbitrator. He
promised to have all satisfactorily settled
by the time of the next annual
meeting. Accordingly he built an eight
sided hoxise in which to hold the annual
jubilee. This octagonal domicile
was fitted with a door and a window
on each side and* a round table in the
center. This arrangement made it possible
for each family of the (/Groats
to enter by his own door and to sit at a
table which was practically "without a
head."
This famous house was long a landmark
in Britain and even to this day is
one of the Englishman's starting points
i of measurement. "Land's End to Johnny
O'Groat's" signifying from one end
of England to the other.
Sir Boyle Roche.
In every account of the Irish parliament
Sir Boyle Roche comes In with
: the persistency of King Charles' head
in Mr. Dick's memorial. His "bird" is
as well known as the pbeuix and bids
fair to share its immortality.
I "Sure, Mr. Speaker," said Sir Boyle
on the occasion tluit has made him famous,
"how eouid a man be in two
1 places at once?unless he were a bird?"
But Sir Boyle Is not a mere creation
of legend. He was a real living man.
a fine, bluff, soldierlike old gentleman,
holding sime poet at the vice regal
I cHHtkt fnr n cov#?rnment horoutrh
j VV-Ui. W, WAW1*U0 V. 0 - ? w
j and always voting faithfully for the
j "castle." The debate one night was on
| sinecures, which Curran had Indignantly
denounced, and, twitted by one of
| the opposite side on some personal in!
consistency in the matter, he replied
hotly:
I "Sir, I am the guardian of my own
honor."
To which Sir Boyle neatly rejoined:
"Then the gentleman himself has got
a very pretty sinecure."?All the Year
; Bound.
For Over Sixty Years.
Mrs. Winelow's Soothing "Syrup
has been in use for over 6ixty years
| by millions of mothers for their children
while teething, with perfect
success. It soothes the child, softens
the gums, allays all pain, cures wind
colic, and is the beet remedy for
! Diarrhoea. It will relieve the poor
| little sufferer immediately. Sold by
Druggist in every part of the world.
| Twenty-live cent* a bottle. Be sure
to ask for Mrs. "WiDslow's Soothing
Syrup," aDd take no other kind, tf
i
Tbe Menn Card In ltd First Form.
In its old fashioned form the menu
was usually written large on cards of
j such Imposing dimensions that room
for one only could be found at each
end of the board. In the mediaeval
nmner mis am to seiecuon muse nave
been an absolute necessity, for the
mediaeval dinner was a mine of surprises.
It was divided into courses, as
are our own dainty meals, but whereas
nowadays the diner has a general idea
that tisli will follow soup and that entree
is succeeded by releve, and can
conceive generally the sort of demand
that each course will make upon his
appetite and digestion, there was no
possible arguing as to what was going
to happen at an early English dinner,
and close study fails to reveal the existence
of any principle of arrangement
Poetical Con ecu* Ion.
Sir Walter Scott was asked why be
had made Ellen Douglass the lady of
the lake.
"Because." be replied, "if I had made
I her the lady of the river there might
have been a run on the bank."
Realizing the poet's pecuniary conditions.
his friends congratulated him on
his foresight?New York Tribune.
The Almunllty of It,
Mrs. Skrapp?It seems to me to be so
ridiculous to refer to a tugboat as "she."
Mr. Skrapp?That's so; tugboats do
actually accomplish some good in the
?orld.
Mrs. Skrapp?Yes, and they puff and
blow about it so.?Philadelphia Press.
Under Water.
"What was the troubled
"He couldn't swim."
"What has that to do with his failure
r
"He got into a company where the
I stock was all water."?Exchange.
i
Boy Cured of Colio After Physician's
Treatment Had
Failed.
My boy when four years old was
taken with colic and cramps in his
stomach. I sent for the doctor and
he injected morphine, but the child
kept getting worse. I then gave
him half a teaspooDfui of Chamberlain's
Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy, and in half an hour he was
sleeping and soon recovered.?F. L.
Wilkins, Shell Lake, Wis. Mr. Wilkins
is book keeper for the Shell
L*ke Lumber Co For sale by The
Kaufmann Drug Co.
WHO OAOKQT B? OWED.
Backed up by over a third of a century
of remarkable and uniform cures, a record
such as no other remedy for the diseases
and weaknesses^ peculiar to women ever
attained, the proprietors and makers of
Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription now feel
fully warranted in offering to pay $500 in
legal money of the United States, for any
case of Leucorrbea, Female Weakness,
Prolapsus, or Falling of Womb which they
cannot cure. All they o?*k is a fair and
reasonable trial of thetr means of cure.
They have the most remarkable record
of cures made by this world-famed remedy
ever placed to the credit of any preparation
especially designed for the cure of
woman's peculiar ailments.
A beautiftd Georgia lady, Vice-President of i
the E*?t End Palmetto Club, of Savannah, and J
prominent socially there, relates the following j
experience: "You certainly have produced the
finest medicine for suffering women that is to
be had in the country. I want to recommend
it especially to mothers. I was seventeen years
old when my darling boy woa born. Felt very
exhausted and weak for a long time, and it
seemed I couki not get my strength bock. My
sister-in-law bought me a bottle of Dr. Pierce s
Favorite Prescription (after I had tried several
of the other remedies which are so much adve.tised.
and found no relief). I had little faith
in the medicine at the time and was so weak
ana sick that I felt discouraged, but within a
week after I had commenced taking your ' Prescription'
I was like a different woman. New
Hfe and vitality seemed to come with each succeeding
day. until, in a few weeks, I was in fine
health, ana a happv, hearty woman. My boy
is now two years ol<C aud, thanks to your splendid
medicine, I am euioying perfect health. If
at any time I feel tired or in need of a tonic, a
few closes of your Favorite Prescription' recuperates
me at once. My address is No. 511
Jones Street, Ea6t, Savanna'h. Ga.
Mrs. Scsie Wieljama
To Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo. N. Y.?
Accept no substitute for "Golden Medical
Discoveiy." There is nothing "jnst
as good * for diseases of the stomach, blood
ana lungs.
The Common Sense Medical Adviser,
1008 large pages in paper covers, is sent
frve on receipt of 21 one-cent stamps to
pay expense of mailing only. Address
Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets are a ladies'
'"-" I"* Hn /-#Vic.r mcdi^iri* onuals tHf?m
UUkOilVV, i^w * MI?
for gentleo*?s and thoroughness.
nia Estimate of Hlmselr.
Clara?Pa, George pays he isn't half
good enough to be my husband.
Father?Humph! He talked to me
as if he was plenty good enough to
have me for a father-in-law.?Detroit
Free Press.
A Second Thief.
"Some mean sneuk ran off with my
umbrella today."
"With your umbrella?"
"Well, with the umbrella I have
been carrying all week."?Philadelphia
Press.
A SerionN Affair.
"You say that French editor was
wounded in a duel?"
"Yes. Just as he was turning to fire
his foot slipped, and he sprained his
ankle."?Washington Star.
A Society Woman.
Nell?Is she a society woman?
Belle?Yes, indeed. She belongs to
no less than eighteen societies for the
suppression of as many things?Philadelphia
Record.
Befitting: the Crime.
He stole a kiss, a very little thing.
And for the crime he sought to make
amends
By placing on the grieved one's hand a
ring.
This done, you'd think Just restitution
ends.
But, law appeased, 'twas made a church
affair;
The two were bound who'd caused this
bit of strife.
Though but a kiss he stole, no more I
swear,
The sentence of the rector was, "For
life."
?Roy Farrel Greene in New York
Times.
Herbine
Renders the bile more fluid and
thus helps the blood to flow; it affords
prompt relief from biliousness, indigestion,
sick and nervous headaches,
and the over-indulgeDce in food and
drink HerbiDe acts quickly, a dose
after meals will bring the patient
into a good condition in a f*w days.
G L Caldwell, Agt. M. K. aDd T.
R. R, Obecotah, Iod. Ter, writes,
April 18, 1903: "I was sick for over
two years with enlargement of the
liver and spleen. The doctors did
me no good, and I had given up all
hope of being cured, when my druggist
advised me to use Herbine. It
has made me sound and well." 50c.
Sold by The Kaufmann Drug Co.
Animals and Telegraph Poles.
"A strange thing is the effect of electrical
energy on birds and wild beasts,"
says a telegraph lineman quoted In the
Philadelphia Record. "Woodpeckers
are continually tapping telegraph poles.
In the country you will find everywhere
poles honeycombed by the
sturdy bills of woodpeckers. Tbe birds
mistake the humming sound inside the
poles for the humming of insects, and
it is to get at these supposed insects
that they make their perforations.
"Bears, on the other hand, think tbe
humming comes from bees, and they
overturn tbe stones at the pole's base
in their endeavor to get at tbe honey.
Wolves are afraid of the sound. A
wolf won't go near a telegraph pole
under any circumstances."
An Appetizer.
In the family of Mr. H., treasurer
of one of our states, was a small boy
of four who was the possessor of a
fine rat terrier. One day the dog mysteriously
disappeared, and the child,
Ralph, was heartbroken. Soon afterward
Mrs. H. gave an informal dinner
to other state officers and their wives,
? ? ' ^ f . 1 V. ?* ? nil /\rn/v/l ^y-v VvA (I f
aim ^lasier ivu i^/ii was uiwncu irc ??.
the table under promise of good behavior.
Things went on smoothly till
the meat course, when a fine roasted
pig was brought in, and Ralph thought
his long lost pet was going to be served
to the guests. He arose In his chair,
pointed at the pig and with tears in his
eyes and voice cried: "Oh, my doggie,
my doggie! I want my doggieGood
Housekeeping,
WORK AND REST.
When They Alternate Perfectly, It
M:ia Wil7 Enjoy Both.
After work comes rest. When they
alternate perfectly a man may prepare
to enjoy real happiness. When they
alternate perfectly a man will enjoy
lx>th the work and the rest that follows
it.
Nature is a just oW lady. She eekiom
givoa a man more than be needs. If he
electa to live a lazy life she lets his
muscles get flabby and his brain go
sloppy, she never permits him to long
possess a facility or a nerve or a mus
elf or a sinew that lie (loos not usp.
The proper way to keep your mnsclea
or your brains is to use 'em up and let
nature provide you with a fresh supply.
Nature is assisted in this work by
rest. One may rest sometimes by seeking
a change of lat>or. Labor tbus becomes
a recreation?re-creation.
To live happily in this workl it is not
enough to know how to work. A man
must also know how to rest. The man
who knows only how to work will soon
wear out If he doesnt wear out immediately
hi3 work will suffer in some
way. No man can do his best work unless
lie alternates it with a little play
or a little rest.
A man who can't drop his work from
his mind as readily as he can drop his
tools from his hands had letter take a
few weeks off to study the rest question.
Ills nerves are not what they
fihrvnlil lvo
If a man wishes to keep his nerve, let
fciin avoid nerves.?Pittsburg Dispatch.
Ivy Clad Huildinor*.
So Jong as the wails of a building are
sound and tl>e bricks or stones, well
cemented together, offer no fissures or
cracks for the plant to force its way
Into, there is nothing whatever to fear.
Should the ivy, however, find on opening.
and so thrust itself into the wall,
the natural and continuous expansion
of its parts will tend to loosen the
stones and hasten the decay of the
building.
A fair growth of ivy on sound walls
that allow of no advances beyond the
superficial attachment of the claspers,
or aerial roots, as they are called, is altogether
beneficial. It promotes dryness
and warmth, counteracts the corrosive
action of the atmosphere and is
at once a shelter and an ornament.
These aerial roots arc not sources of
nutrition, but merely serve as mechanical
support to the climbing ivy. The
contention that they sap the whole of
the moisture from mortar, leaving it
excessively dry and crumbling, has
th^rofnre no foundation in fact?Lon
don Standard.
Dyssnterv Cured Without the
Aid of a Doctor.
"I am just up from a hard spell of
the flux" (dysentery) says Mr. T. A.
Pinner, a well known merchant of
Drummond, Tenn. "I used one
small bottle of Chamberlain's Colic,
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy and
was cured without haviDg a doctor.
I consider it the best cholera medicine
in the world." There is no
need of employing: a doctor when
this remedy is used, for no doctor
can prescribe a better medicine for
bowel complaint in any form either
for children or adults. It never fails
aDd i? pleasant to take. ? For sale by
The Kaufmann Drug Co.
Cowardly Brave Men.
It Is related of a Missouri engineer
that he does not hesitate to drive his
machine at full speed through the
blackest storm at night with washouts
all around him. but that he is
afraid to go home alone in the dark. If
some one is not at the roundhouse to
go with him he sits there till daylight.
It Is the old story of every man having
his own peculiar fears. Tl?ere is a doctor
we kDow who will cut a man to
nifWkR nnrl smile the while. He is an
old soldier and often faced the cannon's
mouth. But he will betray the
most abject terror if one of the harmless
little elm tree worms happens to
drop on his person.?Kansas City Journal.
Doctor's Recipe For Lemonade.
Here is a scientific recipe for lemonade
advocated by the medical profession:
Wash the lemons thoroughly;
slice thin and peel all. Cover with
fmgar, allowing the sugar to become
Saturated with the lemon juice by gently
pressing the slices of lemon with a
spoon. Then add water, slowly stirring
all the while. lee, if used, slvould be
used sparinglj'. One-third of a lemon
to a glass is about right for borne use.
/ _
A Good Saggefltlon.
"When I write a story," sr^ the
struggling young author, "I make out a
list of ten magazines that 1 think
might like it and I usually get mighty
close to the end of the list before 1 sell
it."
"In that case," returned the wise
business man, "I sboukl think it would
pay you to begin at the other end of
your list."?Chicago root.
Not PaW by Rexohs.
"Is tbe profession of weather prophecy
a satisfactory one?"
"Well," answered tbe expert "in a
general way it is. You see, as a rule,
the income is not so unreliable as tbe
predictions."?Exchange.
To Prevent a Relop#?e.
Wife?So, doctor, you think my husband
is entirely out of danger now?
Doctor?Yes; but I wouldn't let him
see my bill for some time yet?Baltimore
American.
The first question every child asks
on reaching home is, "Where is mother?"?Atchison
Globe*
FOIEYSHONEY^IAR
_ Cares Coldsi Prevents Pneumonia
Over-Work Weakens
Your Kidneys.
Unhealthy Kidneys Make Impure Blood.
All the blood in your body passes through
your kidneys once every three minutes.
<?y] The kidneys are your
blood purifiers, they fil))
ter out the waste or
^\ V&W im?urities *n fbe blood.
'\wL^V-Twf If they are sick or out
fer rS/ \AQ cf order, they fail to do
W ik' ? V\j.t ? Ai ? _
v rijn \ ineir WCrK.
J I Pains, aches and rheu/
f il 1 lllcJ matism come from excess
of uric acid in the
... v?) blood, due to neglected
kidney trouble.
Kidney trouble causes quick or unsteady
heart beats, and makes one feel as though
they had heart trouble, because the heart is
over-working in pumping thick, kidneypoisoned
blood through veins and arteries.
It used to be considered that only urinary
troubles were to be traced to the kidneys,
but now modern science proves that nearly
ail constitutional diseases have their beginning
in kidney trouble.
If you are sick you can make no mistake
by first doctoring your kidneys. The mild
and the extraordinary effect of Dr. Kilmer's
Swamp-Root, the great kidney remedy is
soon realised. It stands the highest for its
wonderful cures of the mcst distressing cases
and is sold on its merits
by all druggists in fiftycent
and one-dollar sizes.
You may have
sample bottle by mail Home of Swamp-Root,
free, also pamphlet telling you how to find
out if you have kidney or bladder trouble.
Mention this paper when writing Dr. Kilmer
? i?? __t _. XT vr
6i L/0., emgr.amion, in. i .
Albert M. Boozer,
Attorney at Law,
COLUMBIA, JS. c.
Especial attention given to business entrusted
to him by bis fellow citizens o:
Lexington county.
Office: 1316 Main Street, upstairs, opposi
e Van Metre's Furniture fctore.
February 28?tf,
If you are interested, write *us for
our handsome illustrated catalog.
THE LANIER SOUTHERN BUSINESS COLLEGE
MACON, GA.
November 10, 1802?ly.
Parlor Restaurant
1336 main stkeet.
COLUMBIA, - S. C.,
The only up-to-date eating
House ot its kind in the City of Columbia.
It is well kept?clean linen,
prompt and polite service and get it quickly.
Quiet and order always prevail, "ion get
what you order and pay only for what you
get. Within easy reach of desirable sleeping
apartments.
OPEN ALL NIGHT.
B. DAVID, Proprietor.
gagBcaeaeaflS 65
S3
W
Tie fm. F. I
is
SS I 638-1 640 MAIN S"
OFFEKS THE !
Best China Matting, the 33 cents
Nice Brown Sheeting, the 7 cent
3,0C0 jards Cottonades, the 15 a
aftfjk Largest Malaga Hats, the 20 cer
fffj Men's two-piece Fine All Wool S
100 esses Shoes just in at 10c., 1 c
oave about 300 Ladies and Gentler
Jlf and $4.00 kind, in extra small and
will sell for $1.99 the pair.
10 gross Men"s Coat Collar Spri
50 gross Fine Satety Pins, at 1 c
300 Ladies, $1.50. $1,25 and $1.
?
W
1MB 01
?5 FOR
ca
SS COME TO SEE US ,
aa ADVERTISE ME:
?tf
28
A A Very Sincerely,
| THE ff. F. I
as
M
Q
S3
eMMaescMae;
QQcacwdcact
BEESWAX WANTED
IN LARGE OR SMALL QUANTITIES
WE WILL PAY THE HIGHEST MARket
price tor clean and pure Beeswax.
Price governed by color and condition.
the B AZA VIJ .
LEXINGTON, S. C- j
FRUIT TREES
That Grow and Bear Fruit.
Write fo r our 60 page illustrated
Catalogue and 40
fage pam phlet, "Eow to
lant and Cultivate an Or- .
chard," G ives you that informatio
n you have so long ^
wanted: tells you all about
those big red apples, lueious i
peaches, and Japan plums
with their oriental sweetness,
all of whi eh you have often |
wondered where the trees 1
came fro m that produced .?
hem. i
EVERYTHING GOOD IN
FRUITS.
Unusal fine stock of SILVER
MAPLES,young, thrifty trees
smooth and straight, the kind
that live and grow off well,
No old, rough trees. This is
the most rapid growing maple
and one of the most beautiful
shade trees.
Write for prices and give
list of wants.
J. Van Liiuiley Nursery Co.,
Pomona, N C,
I
ISIBI HAIRRBALSAM
jjg-L JgH CHCAEsci and beautifies the hair.
99 Promotes a luxuriant growth.
sJa Never Fails to Hestore Gray
Hair to its Youthful Color.
Cures scalp diseases icha-.r_ial.ing.
11111 Ml! '
minus a us.
Will Practice in all Courts,
KAUFMANX BUILDING,
LEXINGTON, S C
On the 18th day of October, we formed
a co-partnership for the practice of law.
We will be pleased to receive those having >
legal busings to be attended to at our office
in the Kautmann building at any time.
Respectfully.
J. Wm. THURMOND,
G. BELL TIMMERMAN,
October *22, 1902.?ly.
Dr. Woolley'sS^.^
nxiuj pqcs .opium, laudanum,
Pf^i16 ^ ?f
AND 5fwCKR?LEYCO.
Whiskey Cure I ^anta,^Georgia ^
aljiiStiiScSciiSS
FiirM Co, |
r., COLUMBIA,S-C. 25
Qs
&
m
FOLLOWING: jgjj
; kind, at 18* cents. Cf^ <m
s kind, at 5 cents,
nd 20 cents kind,"'at 10 cents.
its kind, lor 10 cents.
Juits, $5.75, $5 00 and $6.50. fftj
Sc., 25c., 49c , 98c. and np. We CT^
oen's Very Fine Shoes, the $3.50
extra large sizes only, that we aZ
ngs. at 1 cent each.
;ent the dozen.
00 Corsets, at 79 cents while
1,01111 BARGAINS ?
YOU. |
YXD BRIXG THIS gS
STT WITH YOU. qJ
?3
69
tfl?
TBIKR1.1