Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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!? ! Hill?I ? I?IMWWWT1T A 'Picnic With the College Jesters "What did you do when Miss Kandid said she thought you were odd?" "Told her I'd get even."?Cornell Widow. Soph?That was the cleanest game of bail I ever saw. Junior?What guri?? Soph?Why. i-.v- v.-.uor polo match.? Columbia Jester. "Another tragedy," said the cynic - * ?1 ^ * 4-1% ~ as snrm sane^s uruse num mc lumcu cistern. "I suppose there is a woman at the bottom of it."?Yale Record. The Actor?Yes, I am to recite Hamlet's soliloquy? The Critic?The audience ought to . sympathize with you. Actor?How? Critic?Why, it'll be such hard lines for both of you.?Harvard Lampoon. Long Winded Lover?Ah me! And how can I show you all I have within my heart for you? She (desperately bored;?Cut it out ? aaie Jttecoru. Crusty Old Gent (to tramp)?What! Begging again? Didn't I give you a dime yesterday for a meal? Tramp (sarcastically)?Yes, I know, gov'nor, but I overate, and I want to i get some medicine for it?Columbia Jester. Explained. ' "Jones told me that horse couldn't lose, and there he is running last." "I guess Jones was holding the dope sheet upside down when he figured that out"?New York Evening Journal. The Sea Widow. "What have you got all that green stuff on your head for?" inquired the first mermaid. "Why, didn't you know of my husband's death?" replied the oJ<* r. "These are my widow's seaweeds Philadelphia Press. No Good Effects Noticed. She?The milliner told me that she | had been down to the dentist's to have a nerve killed. He?Well, from the prices she asks for hats I should say the dentist must have killed the wrong one.?Stray Stories. His Talent. "John Henry, I'll thrash you soundly if I ever catch you telling another story that isn't true." "And yet, ma. I heard you say to the minister that I had great imagination."?Cleveland Plain Dealer. Donbtfnl Consolation. "I'm afraid." said Willie Wishington, "that I lack self confidence." "Cheer up," said Miss Cayenne. t ? j. ;_,1: ? i.?? ,-u.. + ".remaps ILIUI IUCI iuuiuii? uai juu are a good judge of human nature."?. Washington Star. Curative Treatment. "Your father used to say he couldn't afeford the trouble and expense of keepJug a pony for you. How did you cure him of that idea?" "I just kept on nagging him."?Chicago Tribune. 4 Wouldn't Warm Up. "It was really chilly on the porch last evening," she said. "What was the matter?" asked her dearest friend. "Wouldn't he propose?"?Chicago Post. j- ' Can't Always Draw a Prize. Mrs. Quizzy?Being an heiress, I presume you had your pick of the men? aivq "Rlrn'tt?Vos nnil T rosrret to sav. 1U10. * v, -'-v., ? - 'O w , I picked the wrong one?Baltimore American. Learning: Fast. 1? "You foozled that time, Miss Niblick." "Did I, really? I had no idea I was becoming so expert."?New York American. i nny Solomon Doubted. The little boy was asked by a Sunday school teacher to write all lie knew about Solomon and hand his paper to her the next Sunday. The following Sunday he handed her a slip of paper on which was written: "King Solomon was a great and wise man. lie had 100 wives. After that he did not believe in God."?New York Times. + Incomplete Lnxnry. "You can afford to smoke cigars that cost a dollar apiece," said the less sue cessful friend. "That's true," answered Mr. Cumrox regretfully, "but mother and the girls insist on my sitting out in the park to smoke one of 'em the same as if it ?? .^1.! X were a pipe. ? uasnmgiuu ouu. It'M His Money. "Freddy, you come back here with that penny. Mamma told me to give it to the heathen." "That's all right. Grade. She called me a little heathen yesterday."?San Francisco Examiner. Envied. "Alas!" moaned the poet. "I put my most soulful thoughts on paper, but my messages fall before the eyes of the unthinking canaille. They laugh at everything I write." " vl^r. >> mAo?o/l tlm hnmnrniic nnot iliad, ULlV/Cill^TVi. uuLuvivuvj yvw w, "I wish I had your luck!"?Judge. Then He Stopped the Clock. May?Oh, George, papa set the alarm for 10:30 tonight. George?Indeed! Didn't you remark the other night that the ticking was monotonous and annoyed you??Chelsea Gazette. Catarrh of the Stomach. When the stomach is overloaded; when food is taken into it that fails to digest, it decays and inflames ibe mucous membrane, exposing the nfrves, and causes the glands to ec cret. mucin, instead of the natural justice of digestion. This is called Catarrh of the Stomach. For years I fruffered with catarrh of the stomach, caused by indigestion. Doctors and medicines failed to benefit me until I u*ed Kodol Dyspepsia Cure. ?J R. Rbe8, CoppelJ, Tex. Sold by all Diuggists. ANCIENT COFFEE, The Way the Beverase Was Brewed In the Seventeenth Centnry. There are in existence in Great Britain a few copies of an ancient cookbook, published in 1002, that gives what is perhaps the first English recipe for coffee. The recipe reads: "To make the drink that is now much used, called coffee. "The coffee berries are to be bought at any Druggist, about seven shillings the pound. Take what quantity you please, and over a charcoal tire, in an old frying pan, keep them always stirring until they be quite black, and when you crack one with your teeth that it is black within as it is without, yet if you exceed, then do you waste the Oyl, and if less, then will it not deliver its Oyl; and if }*ou should continue fire till it be white, it will then make no coffee, but only give you its j salt Beat and force through a lawn sieve. I "Take clear water, and boil one-third of it away, and it is tit for use. Take one quart of this prepared water, put in it one ounce of your prepared coffee, ' and boil it gently one hour, and it is tit I i'or your use; drink one-quarter of a pint as hot as you can sip it. It doth j abate the fury and sharpness of the | Acrimony, which is the gender of the Diseases called Cronical." A Coming Lawyer, (.CUV.UE1 111 <* ? \-.J I. JL. UI1 adelphia kindergarten thinks that she has discovered a "Philadelphia lawyer" in embryo. She made the discovery in one of the exercises incident to teaching the young idea how to count. After drawing five ones on the blackboard and writing beneath the tive successive numerals, one, two, three, four, five, together with a painstaking verbal explanation, she attempted to test the understanding of the iittle ones by turning to one bright eyed little fellow and putting the question: "Now, Donald, which would you rather have, five pennies or a five cent piece?" "Five pennies!" Donald promptly replied. "Why, Donald?" asked the teacher patiently. "Because," said Donald, "you see, if you lost one of the pennies you'd have four left, and even if you lost four you'd have one left; but if you lost the five cent piece, why, it would all be gone?every penny!"?Philadelphia Ledger. No Pity Shown. "For years fate was after me continuously" writes F. A. Gulledge, VetbeDa, Ala. "I had a terrible case of Piles causing 24 tumors. When all failed Bucklen's Arnica Salve cured me. Equally good for Burns and all aches and pains. Only 25c at The Kauftnann Drug Co. Wise is the man who can recall a previous engagement when he receives a disagreeable invitation. THE FARMER FAILS In health just as does the city-inan, and he fails commonly from the same cause, n stomach trouble." The farm is a wholesome place to live ; the farmer's life is a healthy life ; but no external advantages can overcome the effects of a diseased stomach. When the stomach and its allied , organs of diges- u , tion and nutri- ' tion are diseased, the food * . nT \\/? eaten is impe:*- Jmu fectly digested and assimilated, and the conse- f ?y\^?f?r" quent loss of nurtition results A (wjIb-mQ} in physical de- Ififfirk Dr. Pierce's / Golden Medical ^ I Discovery cures j\ \wf A, / diseases of the J[W^( AVstf w on,l BLULUUV-U p?yi - v 1 other organs of 1 vYy ' digestion and nutrition, and enables the per- . Vi feet digestion \\N^> and assimilation V ^ \ N of food. It I S \ builds up the body with sound flesh and solid muscle. "I used ten bottles of Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery and several vials of his I ' Pleasant Pelletsa year ago this spring, and have had no trouble" with indigestion since." writes Mr. W. T. Thompson, of Townsend. Broadwater Co., Montana. n Words fail to tell how thankful I a:n for the relief, as I had suffered so much and it seemed that the doctors could do me no good. I got down in weight to one hundred and twenty-five pounds, and was not able to work at all. Now I weigh nearly one hundred and sixty and can do a day's work on the farm. I have recommended your medicine to several, and shall always have a good word to say for Dr. Pierce and his medicines." The sole motive for substitution is to permit the dealer to make the little more profit paid by the sale of less meritorious medicines. He gains; you lose, therefore accept no substitute for" Golden Medical Discovery'." Tlie Charm of the Mississippi. To novice eyes ;i trip down the Mississippi is full of wonder. Not the beauties of the Hudson does one find, nor the castled -turrets of the Rhine, nor the gay pageants of the storied Thames, nor the gentle loveliness of that small stream that graces the mountain region of North Carolina?O j thrice fair Swananoa!?but a beauty all its own has this wonderful Mississippi. which on its serpentine way from pearly Lake Itasca to the blue waters of the Mexican gulf traverses " "" " ?11? ~ 4-+ T f o 1 tzcran rl <5 Z,oio miK.'S ui iciuiuij. x'vanil traditions, its great flush times before the war, its spectacular history, may all be learned from some quaint old river man who will gladly give full measure of his lore. There is a charm in the vast stretches of forest, in the loneliness of the great stream?Father of Waters?in its mightiness and supreme length, its sunsets and its sunrises.?Sports Afield. Ganjah Smoking;. In Jamaica ganjah. a variety of Indian hemp, is smoked by all classes, with terrible results. It is stated that it was this weed that was used by the leaders of the Indian mutiny to drive the sepoys into the passions of raging mania which they exhibited during that campaign. Ganjah smoking affects the beginner in a peculiar way. While under its influence his senses of time, sound and distance are obliterated. A single minute may seem a month, a child's voice sounds like the rattle of a machine gun and a little finger may seem a mile long. "Continued use," says the Spatula, "causes cataleptic fits and eventually idiocy or raving homicidal madness." ? Mf J for uver iears. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup has been in use for over sixty years by millions of mothers for their children while teething, with perfect success. It soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic, and is the beet remedy for Diarrhoea. It will relieve the poor little sufferer immediately. Sold by Druggist in every part of the world. Twenty-live cent* a bottle. Be sure to ask for Mrs. "Wiuslov/s Soothing Syrup," ?r?d take no other kind, tf Small Horses. The geologists tell us that the orobippus, the ancestor of the noble horse of today, was but little larger than the common rabbit of today and that each had sixteen toes, four on each foot, the same as the cattle of today. After the lapse of ages this sixteen hoofed equus shed a toe or hoof from each foot and thus became a twelve toed animal. The sixteen hoofed variety are first found in the eocene period of geoiugical epochs. \To Win Notice. Mrs. Greene?One docs not like to be ignored. I wore a brand new gown at the reception last night, and I don't believe a soul noticed me. Mrs. Gray?There's where you made a mistake. New. I wore my old black silk that has been turned twice, and everybody saw me fast enough.?Bos luii Hiiuatiiin. Carried Its Own Punishment. Jack?Tom, I'm in a terrible lix. I'm engaged to three girls. : Tom?Well, that's not exactly a crime. Jack?Xo. That's the worst of it If [ it were, I could go to prison and have some peace.?Stray Stories. Round to Do as lie Pleases. Rebecca?Father is going to marry for the third time. Rachel?lie must be sentimental. Rebecca?Oh, no; he's just obstinate. ; ?Detroit Free F*ress. One sure way to tell whether a man Is a crank or not is to draw him into a discussion. If he doesn't agree with you, of course he's a crank. I Notes from Boiling Springs. To the Editor of the Dispatch: Hot and sultry. Rain would do good. Crops are looking fine in this section considering the unfavorable chances. A late fall with rain will give us a splendid jield of corn and cotton. Tne protracted series of meeting will commence at Boiling Springs Methodist church the second Sunday in August. Everybody invited. Singing school will commence at the same nr. nn pftilv dqrei with that noted t * J I songster, M. C. Hallman, as instructor. Well, this community is being well blessed with barbecues. Mr. N. S. Croat's came off on Saturday, 11th, which was well patronized. All who attended report a nice time. Mr J. Frye's on the 18th was enjoyed by ail present. Interesting speeches were made by Messrs. George Bell TimmermaD, E. U. Shealy, E. C. Lewis and our Senator W. H. Sharpe acted as chairman, who as usual was full of himself and kept the crowd in a good humor. All of the speakers did well and we feel satisfied to say that each one of them was well received and made friends. John W. Fry was present, but for some cause not known to us did not speak. The health of this section is good at present, which we should be thankful for, as good health is one of the greatest blessings on earth. We hear some reports of loosing some of our mail routes. Surely we will not be deprived of this grand priviledge. t ir i Mrs. Mary add Meeize, ux Dear here, who was spending her last days with her sod, Mr. Samuel Crout, died last week. We regret very much to hear of this good Christian lady's death and extend our sympathy to the entire family in their sad bereavement. Octo Monroe. July 20, 1903. Brutally Tortured. A case came to light that for persistent and unmerciful torture has perhaps Dever been equaled. Joe G-oiobick of Colusa, Calif, writes. For 15 years I endured insufferable pain from Rheumatism aDd Dothing relieved me though I tried everything known. I came across Electric Bitters and it's the greatest medicine on earth for that trouble. A few bottles of it completely relieved and cured me" Just as good for Liver and Kidney troubles and general debility. Only 50c. Satisfaction guaranteed by The Kaughmann Drug Co. Summit Items. From Our News Letter. Mr. Cyrus L Shealy has been employed to teach the term of free school here this year. Mr. H. J. Hartley killed a five foot rattlesnake in his yard last Sunday morning. It had live rattles and a button and was cf extraordinary size for its age. We are just informed of the recent and untimely death of Mrs. E L Crouch of Leesville. Mr. and Mrs. Crouch were not long since residents of Lewiedale where Mr. Crouch was station ageLt. The Sunday School reunion of RrV. Roof's charge will be held at St. James. Saturday August 8th. An interesting, program has been prepared and it is hoped to make it one of the most successful reunions yet held. Mess. C. L Shealy and J. E. Hoad are at Lexington this week attending the Teachers Institute. Rev. C I. Morgan of Gasfconia, N. C came in last Thureday to spend his vacation with the home folks. Working Night and Day. The busiest and mightiest little thing that ever was made is Dr. King's New Life Pills. These piils change weakness into strength, listlessness into energy, brain-fag into mental power. They're wonderful in building up the health. Only 25j per box. Sold by The Kaufmann Drug Co. "I don't put much faith in proverbs, said Brown to Jones. "For instance. Look at the oft quoted one, 'A friend in need is a friend indeed.' Now, most of my experience with friends in need has been that they wanted to boirow. Give me the friends that are not in need. FOLEYSHONIY-IAR Cures Coldsj Prevents Pneumonia _ Thousands Have Kidney Trouble and Don't Know it. How To Find Out. Fill a bottle or common glass with your water and let it stand twenty-four hours; a a t sediment or setJtT?7Tj r~\ tling indicates an W ^<rrp\ unhealthy conaition of the kidlWA vJpjjT^y \ '/ neys; if it stains your linen it is i evidence of kidJpH, \\l m ney trouble; too W\Wd] r*^' X frequent desire to " Pass tt or pain in ^ the back is also convincing proof that the kidneys and bladder are out of order. What to Do. Tin & ro io in ilno lr?n/-\Tir1r?P c r\ .o t ii. uii. miu n,u5& ow often expressed, that Dr. Kilmer's SwampRoot, the great kidney remedy fulfills every wish in curing rheumatism, pain in the back, kidneys, liver, bladder and every part of the urinary passage. It corrects inability to hold water and scalding pain in passing it, or bad effects following use of liquor, wine or beer, and overcomes that unpleasant necessity of being compelled to go often during the day, and to get up many times during the night. The mild and the extraordinary effect of Swamp-Root is soon realized, it stands the highest for its wonderful cures of the most distressing cases. If you need a medicine you should have the best. Sold by druggists in 50c. and$l. sizes. You may have a sample bottle of this wonderful discovery and a book that tells more about it, both sent absolutely free by mail, address Dr. Kilmer & Home of Swamp-Root. Co., Binghamton, N. Y. When writing mention reading this generous offer in this paper. Albert M. Boozer, Attorney at Law. COLUMBIA, js. c. Especial attention given to business entrusted to him by his fellow citizens o Lexington county. Office: 1316 Main Street, upstairs, cppo si e Vau Metre's Furniture fetore February 28 ?tf, RA0 A a IBM 0*5% TWO HUNDRED 5*18 8 S % vounir men and mW ft& A** a ladies to qualify WW ^1 9 W I tsa w& for paying positions. If you are Interested, write us for our handsome illustrated catalog, IKE LANIER SOUTHERN BUSINESS COLLEGE MACON. GA. November 19, 1902?ly. Parlor Restaurant 1336 main street. COLUMBIA, - S. C., The only up-to-date eating House of its kind in the City of Columbia. It is well kept?clean linen, prompt and polite service and get it quickly. Quiet and order always prevail. You get what yon order aud pay only for what j ou get. Within easy reacli of desirable sleeping apartments. OFME1V AUL NIGHT. B. DAVID, Proprietor. 8282828283828 1 Tie ffm. F. 85 I 638-1 640 MAIN S OFFEKS THE yrTp Best China Matting, the 35 cent w w Nice Brown Sheeting, the 7 cen 3,000 }ards Cottonades, the 15 i Largest Malaga Hats, the 20 ce: dFjFfe Men's two-piece Fine All "Wool 100 esses Shoes just in at 1-^c.. 1 ft oave about 300 Ladies and Gentle: and $4.00 kind, in extra small anc will sell for SI.99 the pair. 10 gross Men"s Coat Collar Spr ra 0 Jf ^ 50 gross Fine Satetv Pins, at 1 < 300 Ladies, $1.50. $1,25 and SI they last. ss S3 g HUNDREDS OF jp| FOTt COME TO SEE US gg ADVERTISE ME Very Sincerely, ? THE w. r. s ?g 53 Q S3 caeacacaeacacf G969QQQ696S BEESWAX WANTED \ IN LARGE OR SMALL QUANTITIES ! WE WILL PAY THE HIGHEST MAEket price lor clean ani pure Beea! was. Price governed by color and condition. THE BAZAAR, * LEXINGTON, S. CFRUIT TRIES That Crow and Bear Fruit. Write for our 60 page Illustrated Catalogue and 40 ~ U;IK? vamiiuici, JQUYY (.v Plant and Cultivate an Orchard," Gives you that information you have so long wanted: tells you all about " thos?big red apples, iucious peaches, and Japan plums with their oriental sweetness, all of whi ch you have often wondired where the trees came fro m that produced fhem. EVERYTHING GOOD IN FRUITS. Unusal fine stock of SILVER MAPLES.young, thrifty trees smooth and straight, the kind that live and grow off well. No old, rough trees. This is the most rapid growing ma- ? pie and one of the most beautiful shade trees. Write for prices and give list of wants. J. Van Lindley Nursery Co., Pomona, N C. H PARKER'S HAIR BALSAM Cleanses and beautifies the half. Promotes a luxuriant growth. Never Pails to Bestore Gray Hair to its Youthful Color. Cure# scalp diseases it hair lulling. 10c, and j I .Wat jjruggigtg Ml ITI1EIHN, moans?tit. Will Practice in all Court?, KAUFMANS BUILDING, LEXINGTON, S C On the 18th day of October, wq formed a co-partnership for the practice of law. We will be pleased to receive those having legal busine-s to be attended to at onr oflice in the Kaulmann building at any time. Respectfully. J. Wm THURMOND, G BELL TIMMERMAN, October 22. 1902. ?ly. ODr, WooSley's ? PAJWLESS opium, laudanum, AND M6WOO1LLFYCO. Whiskey Cure (Atlanta,^ Georgia - - ? -? Mil ft., 1 B9 m T.f COLUMBIA,S.C. SS FOLLOWING: s kind, at ISi cents. ** M ^ ^ ts kind, at 5 cents, ^ ^ md 20 cents kind, at i0 cents. nts kind, for 10 cents. Suits, S3.75, S3 00 and SG.EO. 5c., 25c., 49c , 98c. and np. We ?BP men's Very Fine Shoes, the $3.50 flyTjft I extra large sizes only, that we ings. at 1 cent each. cent the dozen. fiuLh .00 Corsets, at 79 cents while fuy 6? fififlD BARGAINS g YOU. ||| ^ AXD BRIXG THIS ^ XT WITH YOU. gg I DTil i. Ill H III11111 iU. gg 53 Q S3 W969QQQQ .